There once was a healer from Nantucket

S04E10

Pete with Beecher: "I believe Schillinger is genuine in wanting to put this to rest." Beecher whines, "I tried to do that by finding his son, Hank, what did I get? My son is dead and my daughter traumatized." Pete points out, "But, for the first time, the need for reconciliation is coming from Schillinger." Captain Pessimism: "It could be another of his plans." Sister Optimism: "Well, we'll never know if we don't try."

We are introduced to Brian Bloom as the newest addition to Emerald City. We see, a la flashback, that he was involved in a car theft ring. He'll be in Oz for a while. His name is Ronald Barlog. Beecher is his new friend, who gets to show him around the place and teach him how to get along well with others. Oh, also, they're roomies. After they're introduced, Beecher takes him through the common room. When Keller sees Ronnie, they greet each other enthusiastically, like they were the best of buds on the outside. Beecher takes this in with a little amusement. Keller tells Ronnie to get settled and they'll catch up then. Beecher to Keller: "He's cute…does he like to fool around?" Keller glares. Beecher smirks. I roll my eyes. Ryan looks on and wonders how this can benefit him later.

Beecher and Bloom enter their pod. Bloom: "So, I guess I'm on the bottom? Uh. Snerk! You betcha! Beecher: "Unless you wanna be on top?" "No, I do well on the bottom." Beecher gives the entendres a rest and asks how Ronnie knows Keller. Bloom: "We were partners for a while." Beecher: "You two ever fuck?" Well, now, way to get to the point. "What?" Beecher chuckles to himself and just says, "You let me know if you need anything," and shakes Bloom's hand. Keller watches them from the chess table.

Another new guy, who shoots several cops after they shoot his friend. The whole scene is so camp and fake that it just kills me that it made it to print. I mean, he shoots the last cop in the leg, and you can see the bulge of the blood-packet in the cops pants; you see it burst and blub thickly out onto his leg. Yeesh! Hill VOs that he's Burr Redding. Life, no parole. We see Said in McManus's office. McManus wants him to make a friend of Burr instead of a foe, because the "homeboys" have been in disarray since Adebisi died. Enter Burr. Burr faces Said. McManus makes with the introductions and Burr looks at Said: "You're the cat that wasted Simon Adebisi?" Said: "Yes, I am." Burr: "Outstanding! I heard he was one mean motherfucker -- that makes you even worse." Said calmly repeats the now over-told story of how he killed Adebisi in self-defense. The court exonerated me." Burr: "No doubt. But motives are less important than outcome. He's dead and you're not." He's got a way of speaking. I don't know…it cracks me up. Said to McManus: "May I go now?" McManus to his ego: "No." McManus tells Burr they just want to let him in on the way things work around Em City. Burr launches into history of how he grew up poor, pops died, quit school, played craps and been in the clink many times, many different clinks. He tells him he knows the ropes. Then says, "May I go?" McManus allows it. Burr strides to his pod and is spied by Hill, who knows him. They hug. Hill rolls after him into the pod and after a brief catching up, Burr asks him who the players are and who "needs talking to." Hill points out Poet, and we then cut to the fluorescent-green laundry room. Burr asks him if he's the one currently running things. Poet: "Yeah man." Burr basically tells him it's going to change, and that a wise man knows his limitations. Poet wonders if he knows this wise man, and maybe if the dude has some smack, while Burr leaves him to ponder that little mystery. Poet returns to retrieving his things out of the dryer while making a most unpleasant face.

, in McManus's office, we see White tuning out while Tim paces back and forth, delivering his speech about second chances, blah blah, one more time and it's back in solitary, sha na na na, Omar agrees solemnly. We cut to Omar doing drugs with Poet under the stairs, which seem to offer a mythological cloak of invisibility as long as prisoners remain underneath them. Or maybe I've seen Clash of the Titans too many times. White muses about being called a drug abuser and having to go to rehab. Poet tells him rehab is pretty cool since he gets to talk about himself a lot.

We slide on over to the last of TV time; the guys watch the news and learn that Alvarez has been captured and will be returning to Oswald. Morales's squinty friend says he'll kill Alvarez when he gets back. Morales asks why. "The motherfucker tried to kill me." Morales: "Yeah? Well, you tried to kill him, or did I get the story wrong?" Squinty regards him. Morales: "Let it go, Chico." Morales is always such a cool cat.

Alvarez is in a holding cell, telling Glynn how he almost made it to freedom and mentioning every geographical location that he can possibly say with an accent. Glynn orders the guard to take Alvarez to solitary since he doesn't know where any of those places are. We see Alvarez walked by Supreme, who says "hi" when they pass. When did he become so friendly? Once inside, Alvarez checks out his tiny gray digs; we pan around, and it's about the size of my apartment, minus the Ikea accents and cats. He leans his head back, thinking that the taste of freedom agreed with him so much more.

Cut to kitchen, where Squinty McSubplot tells Omar to put something in Miguel's food. He'll give Omar all the drugs he needs. Omar refuses: "I don't like you, man, I can't put my finger on it, maybe it's the way you look, you smell, something about you rubs me the wrong way." Squinty lazy-eyes, "You don't like me?" Leans in for emphasis: "Well, fuck you." He added a racial slur at the end, but y'all remember I won't recap those. Omar takes this in as he turns to the table in front of him, grabs a knife, and lunges at Squinty, sticking him somewhere in the middle, so I can't tell if it's a fatal stab. I highly doubt it. Squinty falls to the floor, bleeding, while the guards enter to take Omar right back to solitary. Just like Sars said last week -- no guards until a fight breaks out. Huh. Interesting. Stairs are safe, kitchen is too. Just don't fight. Got it. We see Omar being led back to solitary. He passes Supreme. "You back?" Omar: "Uh huh." Supreme: "Fuck, that's gotta be some kinda record!" Omar passes Alvarez: "You Alvarez?" "Yeah." "You OWE me, dawg." Alvarez knits his brow, probably wondering who could possibly be mad at him already.

For the love of all things holy! We are treated to a most unholy flashback of Ryan and Claire as they get all vertical against the bathroom sink. You all remember -- the one where he asks her if she'd do anything; she confirms that, yes, she would; America vomits simultaneously. Basically, a big ew. Turns out that flashback was brought to us by Ryan telling Keller, during one of their famous chess games, that he did the deed with the malevolent toad. Keller: "You fucked Howell?" Ryan confirms with a sly half smirk. Keller, containing his urge to run vomiting into the showers, turn them up to "scald," and sink to the floor in a heap of helpless sobs, says, "You don't just drop a nugget like that without a few details." Well, he's "dropped" his nugget in worse places. Keller's question here being…"Why?" Ryan: "We had sex maybe, five times, in the ladies toilet -- she got weird." "What do you mean weird? Like, possessive weird?" "Yeah." Keller asks him point-blank if he did it for the sex, or for another, more shady reason. Beecher walks by to insert the requisite smoldering look of smirk as Ryan smoothly lies that he did it for the sex. We pan down to the metaphoric game of chess just as Ryan says, "Check."

Ryan, walking down a dark hallway of set-up through what looks like Unit B, and we see Claire coming towards him. An embittered smile slithers across her face before getting lost in the folds of her jowls. Claire bumps into him as he passes and yells, "Don't fucking wink at me!" "That bastard is winking at me!" "Take him to the hole!" Yay! Naked Ryan coming up! Ryan curses her amphibian evil and is taken away. We see him lying on the filthy floor of the hole, whistling, as Claire opens the tiny window thing and looks in. Ryan sees her and snaps to his feet, bending over to shade his goods. What a gyp! Claire enters, hissing, "Ryan…miss me?" She advances upon him, slams him against the wall, and begins the forceful, unnatural act that would only make sense if it were me, not her, and in a cleaner environment. Ryan looks kind of sickened as she smashes his face around with her pudgy paw while kissing his neck. Now I need a hot shower. Why is he in the hole, anyway? I thought the cage was the new way to go.

Dr. Gloria enters the infirmary while various random staffers greet her, welcoming her back. She has a shorter haircut that is supposed to make her look refreshed and healed, wiser. It just looks…shorter. Sister Pete is putting flowers in a Mason jar in Dr. Nathan's office when Gloria enters. Sister Pete schmoops that she wanted to put them on Gloria's desk before she got there. Something easily solved by, I don't know, doing it earlier? DG is touched and hugs her. She feels fresh and renewed, y'all! Pete says they'll go over cases and catch up. Then we see the result of Omar's stabbing enter the infirmary. No time for love, Dr. Jones! No time to reflect! Get in there! Cut to Sister Pete and DG, along with special guest star Tim McManus, as they review various cases: first up, Cyril O'Reily. As they discuss Cyril and how he kicked Jack Eldridge's ass last week, Pete offers that his condition is only getting worse. Dr. Nathan wants to examine him. The meeting ends, and Tim oils up and asks Gloria to dinner. She says no, but…rain check? He tries to confirm by saying, "I only mean dinner." Gloria: "I know." Run, Gloria! Ruuuuuuuuuuuuun!

We cut to Dr. Nathan examining Cyril. He asks where she's been. Dr. Nathan: "I took some time off." He asks, "After you got raped?" "Yeah." Cyril sadly says, "I wish I could've." "What?" "Taken a vacation…after I got raped." Way to bring down a girl's first day back, Cyril. Dr. Nathan regards him thoughtfully and sympathetically. He continues, "It was okay, though, I had Ryan to help me. I wish I could help him, though, he's sick." Yeah, Cyril, we know. Cut to Ryan in the kitchen. He retches and coughs on the food so we'll all understand that he's feeling under the weather. In case we didn't get it. Pancamo tells him to cut it out or he'll get everyone in Oz sick. Yeah, like, cover your mouth, Ryan! Ryan says he's fine and is no longer contagious…just as he spots Dr. Nathan. They exchange a long look as he re-thinks his statement and decides to go to the infirmary. While I go fetch some crackers to go with the quality of this development, Gloria walks away. Coy, Gloria, play it coy.

Later, in the infirmary, Dr. Nathan examines Ryan. She confirms that he is in fact congested. She says she wants to "keep him overnight," and tells him to put his shirt back on. He does so while looking smolderingly at her. The guard comes to take him to his bed for the night. Gloria watches him go. Later, in the staff locker room, we see Gloria, putting her things away as Claire enters and croaks, "Welcome back!" "Thanks, Claire." Claire smoothes her tentacles and says, "Just wanted you to know, I'm taking GOOD care of Ryan for you." Gloria looks at her. Claire takes this to mean that Gloria doesn't get her drift: "You know -- giving him a helping hand?" Ei-yah! Dr. Nathan blanches. Later that night, we see Ryan leaving his infirmary bed to speak with DG. The guard spots him and protests, but Gloria says it's okay. Ryan sits across from her at her desk. She pulls the gold shamrock that belonged to Keenan out of her pocket: "Did you send me this?" Ryan, softly: "Yes. Keenan raped you. He didn't deserve to breathe." He's sort of leaning towards her. Gloria disbelievingly says, "You admit it? Even though I could tell the warden and you would go to death row?" Ryan: "If I have to die --because of that...all right." Gloria stares at him for a moment and tells him, softly, to go to bed. Ryan gets up, leans over, and breathes, "I love you." He leaves. I melt. Gloria looks kind of cross-eyed and moony.

Sister Pete and Gloria are having an informal session together. Gloria admits to Pete, "I have hated Ryan O'Reily for so long, so deeply…he is responsible for the death of my husband. And Keenan too, all for me." Sister looks at her with an "uh-oh" expression. Gloria continues, "Ryan's love is enormous." I'll just leave that one right. Where. It is. Pete: "It's anything but unconditional, Gloria, he's dangerous. He has feelings you don't share." The statement hangs in the air and crashes back to Earth. "But I do…I do share…his feelings." Long pause here as we all collect ourselves. "I love Ryan O'Reily." D'oh! Sell-out plot! We're all whores! We cut to the following morning as Ryan, leaving the infirmary in his sweat jacket, casts a look in Gloria's direction that makes her look away. It's all very romantic, but still a damn sell-out.

Blah blah black sheep have you any bull? Hill waxes about Chris Columbus. When he landed in America, blah blah Indians, wanted them to change, cover up their naked bodies, stop smoking peyote and do things their way. The Indians responded by hurting them real bad.

The inmates are watching a newscast of Governor Gremlin as he's inaugurated into another term, still in a wheelchair as a result of the shooting. They're all bitching about the entertainment of choice, and Beecher yells to Murphy to change the channel. Poet's all, "We should petition the Gov to get us some cable in here." Cyril mentions to Hill that Gov has "wheels" like him. We then see Glynn, in his office, watching the same broadcast as Pete enters and asks if he wishes he were up there. "Do you regret dropping out of the race?" Glynn sort of smiles and says, "No."

Enter Busmalis, who announces that Barry Levine is on line two. Glynn, "Who?" Then, "You mean, Barney Levin?" "Yeah, maybe that's what he said!" Glynn grouses, "Well, tell him I'll call him back -- and use the goddamn intercom!". Glynn mutters to Pete about Busmalis's lack of skills. Pete tells him to hire someone from outside. Glynn: "I need someone who is smart, diplomatic and fearless." Leading to the obvious set-up for love interest for poor Glynn. Pete knows the perfect person. Whatever. Her name is Floria Mills.

We cut to Mills, arriving for the interview all flustered and babbling about her car (broke down), the freeway (parking lot), bad bad joke about said freeway, saw a trucker who didn't want to pull up to the prison. I would have been so very "don't call us, Excusa McDrama, we'll call someone else." For some reason, Pete makes a comment about Floria getting the job, and Glynn confirms this as she turns to shriek like a banshee and actually hugs Glynn, which is highly inappropriate and just generally bad and wrong. Cut to Mills making herself at home by walking through the prison with a cell phone, making plans for the warden's conference coming up. She moves and shakes and gets it all done because she is super efficient and annoying, and she will be the love interest, in case you all didn't get the same brick o' sub-plot in your face as I did. She finishes her conversation and walks through the cafeteria, eliciting whoops and hollers from the crowd of lunching inmates. And she loves the attention. McManus looks jealously out through his office blinds to find out just who is causing the commotion and ruining his Taster's-Choice-aromatherapy-candle moment.

Ah, we've reached the scene where we establish the obvious discord in Glynn's marriage, thus leading him down the scarlet-lettered path to Shrieky Von Vapid. She tells him she's taking off for the night as we see Glynn indulging in a glass of whiskey, probably thinking he could have been a contender. Leo: "Good first day." She perks, "Thanks, I had fun." She looks around and starts yapping about redecorating. It goes along the lines of, "With your permission, I'd like to add a few things…maybe a plant here, a few pictures of myself…oh, just a glamour shot or two. Okay, three. Also, if I could change your outgoing voicemail message to 'Hi, Warden Glynn can't get to the phone right now, because I currently have my claws in him, please leave a message, thanks.'" Well, she may as well have. She stops her nattering to ask, "Unless your wife would mind." He TMIs, "Fact is, this morning, my wife and I decided to separate. "Oh warden, I'm so sorry!" (Except for the "sorry" part, you big lug, wink wink.) She comments on the dreary surroundings and how he should get a hotel room since he has nowhere to go for the night. Doesn't this guy have any friends? "This may sound odd but…sometimes the walls around Oz make me feel safe." Nah, that doesn't sound odd at…okay, you sound like a dumb-ass. Floria says good-night as she exits the room, going over in her mind all the things she'll need to get in order before the wedding. Oh, and she refers to him as "Warden" again, so he asks her to call him "Leo." He watches her go.

day, Busmalis visiting with Not-Miss-Sally. He complains, "The warden fired me, no warning!" NMS soothes, "Well, maybe it's all for the best." Busmalis: "I'm back to scooping up excrement." She yaps about her job, he yaps back about loving her. He asks her to marry him. They kiss, much to the neighboring visitor's delight, who freeze-frames the moment in his mind for later. God, that is just so beautiful. Later, in their pod, Busmalis tells Rebadow, "I want you to be my best man." He already has been, dude. I thought these two were the geriatric Ross and Rachel! Rebadow mentions the fact that Busmalis is in prison and can offer no more than visiting hours and good comedy for his bride-to-be. Busmalis: "I won't be in Oz for long." He helps Rebadow up from the bottom bunk to show us a large-ass hole. A new tunnel. Jeez. Busmalis: "You and me, old friend, we'll dance at my wedding." Rebadow just looks dumbfounded, since he can't believe there's YET ANOTHER plot line about a damn tunnel.

Hill. Saul saw a cross in the sky -- he changed his name to Paul. Why? I don't know. Most of us aren't that lucky. For most of us, signs of God don't come that clear. Sure they do. I just saw God, and He asked me to tell you to put a lid on it.

Said sits with his merry band of Muslims. Arif is leading the prayer when in walks Leroy. Arif: "What do you want?" He wants to talk to Said; Said ignores him and asks Arif to continue. Leroy starts to leave, but turns back to say, "I want to become a Muslim." Said, without even looking at him: "Go away." Leroy: "I know I use to hang with Adebisi but, when I saw him bleeding…and you with that shank in your hand, I knew I had to change…I want to join you." Said leaps to his feet in overreaction mode and yells for Leroy to get out. In walks a hack, 'cause a fight is about to start, and orders Leroy to leave. He does, looking back at Said. Arif says to Said, "I know I never liked Leroy. The man's done nothing but wrong, but if his conversion is for real…" Said breaks in with, "It's not." Arif: "How do you know for sure?" Said breaks out with the "you questioning me?" Arif backs down. Said addresses the entire group with "I don't want any more talk about him." They all stare back with the wide-eyed look of kids not wanting to get yelled at. Said leaves to scrub the blood off his hands. Why won't the blood come off!?

Group. Leroy stands before them and explains his newfound desire to come clean. Straighten up and fly right. He says to Pete that no one believes him. Pete keeps a straight face and says, "We believe you, Leroy." The camera pans around the group as they all snerk over this "revelation." Except Beecher, who of course believes him. We cut to the computer room, where Beecher tells Said that he thinks Leroy's regret is genuine. The room is awash in green light. What's up with that? Beecher wonders why Said has embraced men far worse than Leroy; he ticks off names, and when he gets to Adebisi, Said leaps up: "NO! Not Adebisi!" and slams a book on the table. Arif, lurking outside, looks concerned. Beecher tells Said that his reaction is his guilt, the same guilt Beecher had when he killed Andrew and Hank Schillinger; he thought it was acceptable as long as it was "excusable." Said: "Get away from me." Basically, it's the exact same scene from the laundry room when Said got on Beecher's back for similar issues.

We're in the lunchroom. The Aryans are just finishing a racial joke when Said gets up and confronts the joke-teller, who happens to be Vern's cell-mate, Mini-Vern. MV looks at Said and asks if he "didn't find that funny?" Said: "No…but you…you're a joke." We see MV stand, pull a shank from his pants -- where the hell are all the sharp knives coming from? Between that and the never-ending supply of narcotics, it's just not very prison-like, until a hack throws you in the hole for winking at another hack or something -- speaking of which, MV gets literally thrown in. He slides across the floor and stands up (naked? Yeah.) and hits the wall a few times while swearing angrily. The wall, in fact, doesn't hit back.

Unit B. Schillinger, playing pool. Leroy approaches and asks if he can have a word. Schillinger does that thing where he addresses his fellow supreme beings, instead of the person of color, and says for "somebody" to let Leroy know that he doesn't speak with people of his particular race. Leroy mentions the thing that just went down in the lunchroom -- how Vern's cohort was thrown in the hole as a result, and how Said is to blame. Leroy: "What I'm offering you, is to take care of Said." Schillinger continues to ignore him and says, "Will somebody tell him we can take care of Said ourselves? We don't need to subcontract." Leroy, "Will somebody tell him that I plan to get very close to Said, close enough to cut his throat." Vern stops and turns to regard Leroy thoughtfully.

We see a can of apple juice come clanking down in a vending machine; Schillinger retrieves it and hands it to Hank's pregnant girlfriend, Carrie. So, I assume he borrowed the change, since he's not allowed to have any money. He gruffly says, "Here, drink this." She shows him a picture of her most recent sonogram; Vern examines it closely and marvels at the sight of the tiny, almost-formed being, barely able to make out the appendages, but able to see the tiny horns quite clearly. She frets that Hank is gone and not coming back. She would be correct. Vern says, "It's like I told you, Carrie, he disappears for long periods of time -- he's got the soul of a wanderer, like his mother." Vern promises to get her whatever she needs in the meantime. Carrie whinges, "You positive he'll come back?" Vern: "I believe it with all my heart, and that's what you've got to do -- believe." We end with her hand on her round, pregnant belly, spawn incubating safely inside.

Finally, we reach the Luke Perry portion of the show. The usual establishing footage of crime being committed. In this case, we see a television with Luke on the screen, silently saying whatever evangelists say to get people to send them money. We pan across the room and see a hideous painting of a church and then come to rest on Luke himself, looking the same as he did on , except that his hair is shaggier and he's got a scruffy beard. Actually, he doesn't look bad. So, Luke is picking up a large bag and turning to the open safe to fill it with large sums of cash. The only thing missing is Batman and Robin bursting in, apprehending him, and turning him over to Commissioner Gordon. Or, better yet, Jim Walsh wagging his finger and telling Dylan he isn't old enough to cash in his trust yet.

Hill VOs Luke's prisoner number and name, which is Jeremiah -- as in the bullfrog. We then see Luke in the Oz lunchroom, sharing his hypocrisy with his fellow men while Keller and Rebadow move along with their trays. Keller says Dylan is some kind of TV evangelist and healer. Busmalis claims that Dylan cured his sister of leprosy. Keller looks at him: "Liar." Dylan approaches Schillinger's table and brings him greetings from their mutual acquaintance, Calvin. Vern, intrigued, says, "You know Cal?" "Oh, indeed I do. When you have some time, I'd like to talk to you." Vern: "About what?" Dylan: "Life, here. Inside Oz." "My schedule is pretty clear, how about right now?" Why is he giving Dylan the time of day? I have no idea.

Vern finds Dylan later in the library, reading the Bible, and proclaims, "I do want to be happy." Dylan puts his hand back on Vern's shoulder. What is WITH him doing that? It makes me twitch. Cut to Unit B and Schillinger walking with his playmate. Vern saying there is no scam…he's tired of all the "horseshit." "It's been months since Beecher's kid died…I kept thinking he was going to retaliate in some way, but he hasn't done anything." Mini-Vern: "Yeah, but…you and this prag, sitting together in one of Sister Pete's sessions? That's crazy!" I guess Schillinger is going to meet with Beecher at some point. Why? "I'm sick of it. I want to concentrate on the birth of my first grandson. I want a little taste of happiness." MV looks at him for a moment. "Vern. You're starting to scare me."

Morales and Pancamo having a meeting with Burr. He gets around fast, this Burr; he's making friends and doing business! Morales tells him coolly, "We got a nice operation going here. We'd rather have you as a friend -- we'll even cut you a slice." Burr, unimpressed: "Extremely generous…I'll get back to you." Pancamo gets in his face: "You take the deal now." Murphy busts in and yells that it's a classroom -- not to be used for "board meetings." Is it just me, or is Murphy funnier than he used to be? ["It's just you. Heh." -- Sars] Burr continues to stand there, and Murphy asks him if he needs an engraved invite. We then see Burr sitting with Poet and Hill. Guess Poet's okay with the usurping thing. Poet asks Burr if he's aware that the Italians want him dead. Burr says he would like to see them try. We pan up to the dynamic duo in question, Morales and Pancamo, sitting above them looking contemptuous.

Generic newscast: a Chinese freighter ran aground, and thirty-six immigrants now have no place to go. The guy goes on to report that a portion of the refugees will be housed in Oswald. The inmates grumble and grouse. Cut to McManus with Glynn: "Leo, this is insane! Put them somewhere else." Leo: "I got a call from the secretary of state and I'm not inclined to argue." McManus snarks, "What…you looking for appointment in the new administration?" Leo: "Don't be snarky." Shout-out? Definitely! Claire says something about overcrowding. I can't listen to her. Pete just sucks her lips around her teeth and puffs them back out. Glynn has decided that they will set up cots in the common room, because that's a good idea. McManus says no way; he only just established some order in there. Yeah? In WHAT bizarro universe was that, Tim? Why don't we put on a nice pot of reality to brew, and while we're at it, let's discuss plotlines involving refugees being housed with inmates in a MAXIMUM SECURITY PRISON, people! And of course they will have contact WITH the inmates! Glynn tells McManus he has made a decision. McManus pouts. Sister Pete, refugees, arrested, hard times. Let's make the world a better place. Just before Bill Cosby shows up to suggest Cokes and smiles all around, Murphy walks in, followed by Ms. Gau, who seems to be in charge of the refugees waiting outside in a bus. Tim jumps to his feet, followed by his tongue, takes her hand, and oils that he's the guy to come to for any and all her needs, if you know what I mean. And I don't think she does. Claire does, though. She gives an eye-roll that almost rivals mine.

Later, we see McManus and Ms. Gau standing before the refugees as she translates the absolute gems that McManus spurts forth. Such as helpfully telling them that the criminals they'll be housed with are among the most violent. Ever. In the history of bad people, they are the baddest. The whole lot of you are either going to die, or become somebody's bitch. But the good news is they've taken extra precautions, which I guess means Murphy won't be taking his regular nap, and the people under the stairs doing drugs might not stab you. Tim asks if anyone speaks English; one of them does. His friend says something in Chinese as the meeting wraps. English-speaking guy tells him to speak English as well. His friend says, "Never volunteer!" ESG says he will do anything to show he belongs here in America. Cut to Murphy addressing the Ozlings and stating that if anything happens to any of the refugees, there will be severe repercussions and until they get familiar with the new surroundings, they are putting everyone into lockdown. McManus walks with Ms. Gau and asks her if she has plans for dinner. God, he is so very pathetic. She asks if he's asking her on a date. He covers that they both have to eat, and he knows a little diner nearby. Before he starts in on the quality of his etchings, we cut to the prisoners, looking down at the refugees as they walk through. Gosh, I sure hope nobody gets hurt.

Cut to lunch time; Ryan serves the ESG and asks him if he has a problem with the lump of crap Ryan slopped on his plate. ESG says no. He sits to eat and wonders to his friends about his wife and child. He doesn't know their whereabouts, but his kid was put into an orphanage somewhere; to make matters much more traumatic, the kid has never been away from either parent before. Up walks Pancamo, who tells them that's his table. They all sort of make like fainting goats and panic. Morales steps in and asks ESG if he's the group's leader. Um, no. Morales persists, "They listen to you, right?" ESG: "Well, yes." Morales: "Then, that makes you their leader." Morales then says, "Come and see me…we'll talk." The refugees leave the table as Buzz looks on -- I think disapprovingly, but he always looks like that. We cut to the common room, where Morales beckons ESG to speak in his (Morales's) pod. ESG's friend doesn't want him to go. He wishes they were back in China. ESG says, "You watched our crops burn, you watched your daughter die, I cannot do that. I would rather die here, in America, than go back." Before Amy Tan calls for a re-write, ESG enters Morales's pod and greets him with the Chinese version of "chairman." I called my Chinese friend, Liz, to get the spelling, but she said they're all just translations and there really isn't a correct spelling. I'll just stick to English. Anyway, Morales likes this new word and repeats it. When ESG explains that Morales should put his name first, not last, Morales intelligently says that he always thought that was "fucked up about their side of the world." Yeesh. Tact? Doesn't live here anymore. Morales points Buzz out to ESG and tells him that Buzz is their enemy. "Why?" Morales: "Because of Viet Nam." ESG and I say, "But, we are Chinese…" Morales breaks in with, "He doesn't know the difference. He has vowed to kill each and every one of you." Poor ESG says he will talk to Buzz, since he means no one any harm and would like to make peace. Morales convinces him that nothing will work, that Buzz is going to kill ESG. Morales then says, "I will call you dead man." In Italian, of course.

Cut to McManus in his office, telling Buzz that one of the refugees reported to him that Buzz threatened them. Buzz is outraged and denies having threatened any of them. McManus ain't buying it -- he's running the place! He's in charge! He's the chairman, dammit! Cut to ESG on the phone with his wife, getting the report on her well-being and the kid's. It's sweet, and he hangs up to report excitedly that his kid is bossing everyone around at the orphanage. He's so happy. Morales stands there and listens to the whole report. ESG thanks him profusely for the phone call. Morales: "It's the least I can do." The buzzer sounds, and ESG asks where everyone is going. Morales explains that they all have to report to their jobs. ESG gets all excited and asks if he too can work: "I want to do my part!" Morales nods and says, "Okay, okay, I'll talk to some people. Let me see what I can do." It's all very cozy. Until someone gets hurt. Since when is Morales cozy?

Cut to the storage room where no guard ever ventures, yet where all prisoners have access to. Where so many people have been killed by now that you think they'd block it off with a big sign, or maybe post a guard there. I dunno. ESG is in there, rearranging stuff, and in walks Morales with his team of Blutos. Morales tells him he's grateful for everything he's done but he'll be requiring one last thing from poor Mr. Nice Guy. "To die." Morales grabs a staple gun, inside a maximum security prison. With no guards. And, as they hold him down, Morales tells him, "You will be mourned," and staples him. That sucks! They show a close-up of ESG's head in the morgue. It's gross. I liked him. Morales sucks. The coroners cover him.

McManus enters Buzz's cell with Murphy while he quietly reads. He and Murphy are throwing Buzz in the cage/hole. Buzz is caught off-guard and starts to ask why. They throw him in, and he beats around angrily. I don't think Buzz likes confined spaces. Or maybe he's seen those shark specials too.

Hill. "Any convert, whether they go from communist to capitalist or from six packs a day to smoke-free -- they become a fanatic." "These are the ones who fuck up the world" (as a swastika illuminates over Hill's head, illustrating his point). "The rest of us, don't need any light…the rest of us, only need enough light so that we don't stub our toe on the way to the toilet in the middle of the night." Okay, that wasn't bad. I'll give Augustus that one. Credits.

week, Rick Fox! More religion! Gratuitous sex scenes! I just hope they shape up the Gloria/Ryan storyline. Except they won't.