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The ratings are great. Ozzy's album is climbing back up the charts. People are running around asking their misbehaving pets, "Why do you do it? What's the deal, man?" And Stee finally has a good show to recap. Things are good. Things are real good. Let's launch right in.
Ozzy and Jack are at KROQ, doing a radio show. Ozzy starts talking about Pat Boone to the goofy DJ. (Man, radio DJs are just the worst fucking people. Ninety percent tools, I would say.) Ozzy says that everyone thinks Boone is a nerd and he used to think so too, but he's a great guy; they used to live door to Boone. He goes on that living to himself (Ozzy), bricks go flying and cats run in and out, and Pat Boone never once complained. I think judging a neighbor by that criterion is sort of shitty. Ozzy is basically saying that Pat Boone is a great guy simply because he took all of the shit Ozzy and his crazy family dished out. By that measure, for me to be a great guy, I should accept my retard neighbor blasting the same Madonna album day and night with his door open and screaming. Uh-uh, Ozzy. Ain't gonna happen.
Opening credits. In the forums, someone discovered that the version of "Crazy Train" is not Pat Boone's as thought, but someone else's. There you go.
First segment. "Won't You Be My Neighbor." Two forty-something blonde women, very Beverly Hills, replete with tucks and nips and the blonde carefully-coifed hair of a twenty-year-old, stand talking to the reluctant but polite Sharon in the Osbournes' driveway. Sharon asks them where they live from here (they're obviously out jogging or speed-walking or something, trying to hold onto their figures so once they finally get up the courage to divorce their either gay or cheating [or both!] CAA-agent husbands, they'll not only have half his money, but be able to easily land another man) and they tell us inadvertently sort of where Ozzy lives. One of the women lives on Cherokee, they say, explaining that they walk down Carla Ridge and loop down, about four miles, to their houses. It takes an hour and a half. (Obviously they're walking, unless they're doing twenty-three-minute miles.) Then Michael the security guard pipes up that he sees the women all the time. Sharon says she does too. (I like to think Michael was bored and pulled his gun and made them come in and talk to Sharon, pretending they were trespassing or something.) They all talk about how they've been inside the corner house, which leads me to believe it's abandoned or at least empty or something. They all laugh. Sharon wants to go back inside, but is being nice.
The more gregarious of the women -- the other just gives a snotty-bitch look with the obligatory faux-friendly smile -- says that they just wanted to say hi and that every night they "say hello to the" and they so want to say "black guy," but Sharon saves them and says, as if he's a pet, "Michaelllllll." Michael smiles like he's watching Leno. The "girls" ask Sharon to walk with them sometime, and she says that she "should," meaning she never will, and then the bitchy one says that she told Michael they were Undercover Security and Michael asked to see I.D. and she said that she would no longer be undercover then! They all "laugh." Michael so wants to fucking shoot them bothand then go inside and take a hot tub with Kelly. The lead lady tries to extend the stay by saying that she loves the trees Sharon has, and then goes on when there is no reaction that she has some at her place, adding that her yard is much bigger. Hee. She knows she fucked up, so she bails quickly; Sharon lies that she'll come walk with them sometime. Michael adds, "You ladies have a good walk," thinking, "Bitches, I could have killed you."
Now, out on the street, the ladies camera-talk -- the bitchy one simply staring into the lens trying to make love to the camera, since she hasn't made love to anything but the pool boy in three years -- about how it was "sweet" that Sharon came and talked to them. I guess the camera crew informs the ladies as to who lives there and they go, "Ozzy Osbourne" and the bitchy one asks if he used to eat raw meat and throw raw meat into the crowd. She keeps repeating, "Raw meat" like she needs some bad. She continues, "Doing wild thingskilling animalsoh, godacid rock" and all the surgery and peels and therapy and hold-it-together mantras -- the intricately-constructed fictions she's created about her life in order to mask the pain -- begin to unravel just like that, right in front of our eyes. She desperately turns to her more gregarious and together friend: "Boy, I'm really dating myself." A sad stare. The friend is already mentally removing her phone number from her Palm Pilot. (Meanwhile, Sharon, on a different night, wearing a different outfit, walks inside with the cat and Lola.) "Boy, this really puts age on us," the leader replies. No, honey. Years passing with unfulfilled dreams and unrealized goals puts age on you.
Inside. Ozzy sits and asks the obviously pissed Kelly what's wrong. He gets up and follows her, asking if he's done something. She then explains that Aimee did it -- that she just got a call from some woman telling her how she should "prepare [her] vagina" for her gyno appointment. Kelly is having a wobbler, huffing that Aimee booked her a gynecologist appointment. "Tell her to book me a gynecologist appointment! I wouldn't mind," offers Ozzy, trying to help. Hee. Kelly says that she's out of her fucking mind, Aimee is -- that it's none of her business. Ozzy says that it's none of his business either and that he doesn't have a gynecologist, thank god. Melinda laughs at Ozzy's nonsense, bless her heart, but I suppose that's a big part of what she's paid foras she sure as hell isn't doing much to rein in the kids. Man, Kelly is in full-on snit mode. Ozzy says he'll go for Kelly, that he'll put on a dress. Melinda grabs him too familiarly for my taste and giggles, "You're so funny, Ozzy." Ew! Some fucking Poison Ivy shit going on right here. Ozzy thinks it's a practical joke, but Kelly says that Aimee was going to get her a dentist and a new car, as well as a gynecologist. She goes on, "Aimee. My teeth, my car, my vagina, my business." Fuck I am woman hear me roar!, My teeth, my car, my vagina, my business should be the new women's rights slogan. Ozzy says that she just needs to say, "Fuck off!" when the "vagina doctor" (hee!) calls, and say, "What kind of (beep) do you think I am?" Kelly goes on that now they stick a finger up your asshole, and "no one is sticking a finger up [her] asshole." Ozzy so wants to say that it can be really nice under the right circumstances -- and so does Melinda -- but they keep their mouths shut. Son Ozzy Hates is there too -- I don't remember his name. He kind looks like that singer from Staind. Ozzy makes a proctologist joke but no one laughs, and then asks Kelly if she learned about this from Sharon. No, it was Melinda. Melinda starts saying that she forgot about it and at the time she told Aimee it was a bad idea and Kelly wouldn't go anyway. Liar. Lying, husband-coveting nanny.
“ Sharon says that it's the worst music she's ever heard. Wow, and she heard the Smashing Pumpkins last album, too. ”
Now Kelly says there is no reason for her to go, and Ozzy starts frowning and half-playing, "You haven't been messing?" He claims that she brought it up, and she squeals and goes into the kitchen. Ozzy follows her: "Why would she think you need a gynecologist?" Kelly explains that Aimee goes every month, and Ozzy still says that Aimee must have a reason to think Kelly should go. Kelly tries to explain, and Melinda says she goes to one, and Ozzy keeps asking if Kelly's been messing with boys, and she giggles and says no, and Ozzy wonders why she's smiling (she obviously has no experience, because she still giggles like she's ten when the subject of boys comes up), and she walks away. Ozzy says that he's her father, and then adds that no boys better be messing with Kelly or -- and he picks up a big cooking utensil -- they'll get "this" shoved up their ass. Ozzy won't let it go and says, "Listen, there's got to be something more to the story," and Kelly says she's had one urinary tract infection and then goes, about Aimee, "She's bored!" Ozzy still thinks there's more to the story, and Melinda pipes up that there's not. Ozzy says that he wouldn't book Son He Hates to see a "cock doctor." Melinda says there is nothing wrong with Kelly, and then Ozzy says that she has a smile on her face and what is she doing? Ozzy thinks she's pregnant and is freaking out, running around, thinking she's been playing Doctors and Nurses. He finally sits down, and Son He Hates asks if Ozzy had been laid by the time he was seventeen. "I was laid by the time I was fucking twelve!" Ozzy goes back at it and says that Melinda is only sticking up for Kelly because she's a woman. He says if it's not true, Kelly shouldn't let it bother her, then. Kelly then says, about Aimee, "Well, I'm going to book her for a fucking breath test then because her breath smells like shit all the time." Hee. She walks away. Ozzy sighs, tired and defeated. "Beam me up, Scotty." Heeeeee.
Jack carries Sharon and drops her onto his bed. Yikes. Jack's little blonde friend is there on the bed too. Crap music is pumping from door, and they all talk about the neighbors playing their crappy music. Jack wants to go bring a gun. Sharon says she's going to be very English and say, "Excuse me. I'm going to call the police if you don't stop playing your music." Jack thinks she should just call the cops. Another neighbor called the police on them the other night, and Sharon says she's going to act so surprised and offended when she talks to them. The friend chimes in that they should say, "Are you insane?!" and Sharon goes on, "How dare you play music at this time of night. We're so disgusted!" Sharon says that it's the worst music she's ever heard. Wow, and she heard the Smashing Pumpkins last album, too. (They're all enjoying this drama, by the way.) She says that they could at least play something decent. They think they should open the windows and blast Sabbath. Sharon describes this music as "sex European dance fucking shit." That's a great description, by the way. Lola stands around watching as Jack starts dancing around to the music. He opens the blinds and window and yells, "You fucking wankers have no respect for your neighbors." Meanwhile, Sharon rubs Jack's stuffed animal on her ass and cooter and throws it. Ew! "Oh no, that's my bear!" yells Jack, and runs after it. Man, someone's going to be pissing the bed, traumatized, tonight. Jack hits Sharon on the head with a pillow. Commercials.
Ozzy Gets Wood
“ Are you shitty neighbors? Do you blast music loud after 10 PM or come home wasted at 2 AM with all your friends and bang around and annoy people? Then stop. Just stop. Open your eyes and realize the world is bigger than you, and your neighbors deserve to live in peace and not wonder when they're going to be woken up by you. Okay, thanks. ”
Night. The music continues. Sharon walks through the house swearing and then goes outside to the fence. Some dude sitting in the backyard -- they have heat lamps out there and everything -- asks, "You have a problem?" Sharon goes on that why can't they understand that some people like to sleep. The dude's face is tiled out, as are his friends, and he's English. Fucking wanker, indeed. (We don't get to hear their reaction to this first piece of rational conversation -- we just have Sharon going on, which is a shame. I'd like to hear what their excuse could be.) Sharon goes on that it's 2 AM and they have a big house to go inside and hang out in. Every night, she goes on, with the music and their cocktails. We see about four or five people now in that yard. Jack is with Sharon now, and Sharon whispers, confused, that the neighbor said he was going to "beat Daddy up." I don't understand -- Sharon is a fucking beast when a reporter says something about Ozzy or asks an improper, in her mind, question. Why is she taking this and not just shooting them? The Wankers ask, "Sharon, are you still there, Sharon?" She replies that she is, calling them "darling." They ask to hear Sabbath louder, teasing. Sharon says that if they want to hear Sabbath and they want to beat up Ozzy Osbourne, they should come in, the front door is open. "Playing your awful middle-aged music for everyone to hear," she continues. They say something about having only been there for six weeks, and Sharon asks if they were the ones that wanted to beat them up. She calls them "big boys" and says that they said they were going to "kill" her husband and fight him "to the death." (I think this is an old incident they're all talking about, and the Wankers are claiming it wasn't them who lived there at the time.)
The Wankers say that Ozzy has been very nice, but she's been "difficult." One of them says that she sounds like the Wicked Witch of the East. "Darling, the Wicked Witch has nothing on me," she drawls. Good line. (All right, I have to say this: I fucking hate privileged rich kids. Nothing fucking worse. I'm sorry if you are one, but it's true. Fucking hate them. And yes, I hope some day to sire privileged rich kids, but I aim to not let them be spoiled shits. And yes, I also realize that poor people often make just as terrible neighbors, but there's something about these Wankers that makes me want to go pawn my old trumpet for a .45.) She keeps taunting them: "C'mon big boy. C'mere, cocky little Englishman." She goes on that they're little rich boys who live off Daddy's money. Hee. I wonder if that sort of talk is hurting Jack, who is really doing the same thing, when you think about it. (Kidding, Jack. Call me!) Lead Wanker says that most people think she's nuts, but he happens to think she has some sense, and he wishes they could get along and be allies since they're neighbors. Sure, then turn the fucking music down, shitbag. (Hey, I just also have to say this. If you're reading this, I want you to stop and think and be honest with yourself for a second. Are you shitty neighbors? Do you blast music loud after 10 PM or come home wasted at 2 AM with all your friends and bang around and annoy people? Then stop. Just stop. Open your eyes and realize the world is bigger than you, and your neighbors deserve to live in peace and not wonder when they're going to be woken up by you. Okay, thanks.) The Lead Wanker goes on that everyone in his family thinks they should have a war with her -- not Ozzy, they all respect him and what he's done with his career and the kids are great -- it's just her. (I wish I could know the whole story, because something else is going on here. If it weren't for the loud music at 2 AM, I'd be tempted to think he's making a little bit of sense, but without the whole story it's hard to judge them as anything but shithole neighbors.) We keep seeing Sharon and Jack listening. Sharon looks alternately amused and then bummed. They don't understand why Sharon is doing this to them. (What?) Sharon tells him to come over for a cup of tea and a biscuit. They laugh, and then he says he'd be glad to. They'll meet tomorrow, they decide. (He'll never show.) Sharon says something about his "wife" and the crosses on their door; she lies that they're very religious and the neighbors will have to come at noon before the family go to church. (She has no idea when church even is.) Sharon makes a face.
Ozzy Gets Wood
Inside now. I think Sharon is upset. She talks to Kelly about it, saying that she didn't quite ask them nicely to be quiet, but rather said, "Shut the fuck up you middle-aged something-or-others." She repeats that they heard Ozzy was okay but that she was a lunatic. Kelly says that they play "The Girl From Ikaniba," totally fucking up the title of the Stan Getz song. Hee. Kelly talks on, burping in the middle of speaking, that it's one thing to play music at six or ten, but 2:15 AM is a bit excessive. Sharon laughs that she said she was going to church at one, and says that the Wankers were staying stuff about crosses on their doors and Black Sabbath, and Kelly says that Ozzy wrote that music and worked for those crosses on the doors so fuck off. The gay dog sleeps on Kelly's shoulder. Hee. Sharon says she hates that "small-mindedness," and that when the Lead Wanker comes over tomorrow she wants to hold him down and piss on his head. Ew. She goes on that when she said he doesn't work and just lives off Daddy's money, he didn't say one fucking word. Kelly says he drives an obnoxious car. "Puss is cleaning Gus Gus," they say, stopping to watch the two cats. Sharon says that the cats love each other. Kelly then changes the subject, recounting, horrified, that the valet guy farted in her car! Sharon says she hates that. Is this, like, a major problem in Beverly Hills? Kelly says she screamed and told the head valet, and he apologized, and she said, "No, it's disgusting." (It's great that they don't recognize the irony of bitching about rich kids not working and being spoiled, and then Kelly complains how the valet guy farted in her car. It's just brilliant.) Sharon says that she's going to wear these fake bad teeth she puts in when he comes over tomorrow. She says, "Hello, would you like some tea?"
Whistling Music plays as The Bev Hills Walking Twins cruise by the house -- exercising in jewelry and designer workout wear, mind you.
Inside the house, Ozzy takes out the trash. In the outside garbage alcove, Ozzy searches for space inside the numerous trash bins (man, this family generates a lot of garbage). Ozzy dodders past an outside table on DefCon 5 Garbage Alert and picks something up, but then realizes it's a skull candle and it's supposed to be there, so he puts it back down. Inside, Ozzy picks up a piece of garbage and opens the garbage drawer and realizes he just emptied the garbage so there are no bags in the cans! He goes to the other garbage drawer, ten feet away. D'oh! Also no bags. "What's the deal, man!?" he seems to be screaming inside, as he then has to find bags and, dropping one first, put them on the cans. After this Ozzy is going to need a huge nap. But seriously, who else could be so fucking entertaining just taking out the garbage? No one, I say. Well, maybe, like, Katharine Hepburn or something, but it would be close.
Ozzy Gets Wood
“ Sharon fondly remembers Boone as the best neighbor ever. (The property value of the house door to Pat Boone just went up exponentially.) ”
Sharon takes old spaghetti out of the sink and jokingly hands it to Jack. Jack leans over and takes a bite, desperate to please and entertain. Sharon says that's disgusting, very happy to have a son who is so desperate to please and entertain. Jack then says that they should get Pat Boone back as a neighbor. Sharon fondly remembers Boone as the best neighbor ever. (The property value of the house door to Pat Boone just went up exponentially.) They didn't realize how lucky they had it until they got the neighbors from hell that they have now. Sharon goes on that she never knew anyone so fucking noisy in her life. Sharon is doing dishes, by the way. And Ozzy is taking out the garbage. Are they suddenly poor? "I thought we were bad, Jack."
Shot of downtown, for some reason. Bad music is pumping from door. Ozzy dodders through the kitchen. "What's this?" "Oh," says Sharon. "Girl from Ipanema." It's a different night, and Sharon is doing dishes once again. Oh my god, they're totally poor! The Fam is all here, and Kelly asks why "those bastards" never came over; she thinks they're afraid of Sharon. (I sure am.) Ozzy, rocking his Adidas t-shirt again, says that he's not party to everything, but they don't own the fucking street. Sharon says he doesn't get it. Ozzy rants on that he's tried to be a nice fucking neighborly personand he unleashes a mumbly tirade of curses, reprisals, and threats, saying that he'll throw shit over the fence and he doesn't give fuck-all. And during all this, the most terrifying part of Ozzy all pissed off is that, as he's cutting cheese (hee) and making a sandwich and yelling, there is a line of drool (or sweat, but drool is funnier) on his chin threatening to succumb to gravity and give the sandwich that extra special something at any moment. He says that he'll throw pig guts over there and that the war is on. Jack agrees, "War's on." Sharon recounts again how she called the neighbor a little rich man and told Lead Wanker to run get more money from Daddy. She goes on that he didn't say a word when she said that; he didn't defend himself or say what he indeed does do for a living. Ozzy, cutting bread with a big knife (Ozzy with a knife is scary, both in the eighties and now, but for totally different reasons), says that they have to enact some "reprisals." He goes on, "If they want a fucking war, we'll give them one." And the drool/sweat falls! Yeah! He says he'll get a pig's head from the butcher. "That'll fuck 'em up." Ozzy then looks to his only friend and ally, the cameraman, and we freeze, then head to commercials.
Night. The Bev Hills Walking Twins. They say, "It's a beautiful neighborhood. It's a very peaceful neighborhood." Uh-oh. Sharon feeds one of the dogs from her plate inside. Then a noise, and barking! Jack comes in having a fucking conniption fit. "They have a guitar and they're all singing!" he says. He motions for Mommy to follow and runs outside, first yelling at a few yipping dogs blocking his way. Jack stands on a fountain as Sharon comes outside. "Listen to them," Sharon says, and bobs and dances to the terrible, awful singing; at least five or six people sing "My Girl," along with a guitar. "Oh fucking hell!" says Sharon, horrified at how bad it is. The singing really is awful.
“ Kelly comes running out, obviously pissed and freaking out because of the death metal. 'I don't care, I'm sleeping! Turn it off!' she yells. Jack says that she's not sleeping. Well, not now, you fucker. ”
Now Jack stands in some outside room area and tells us that he's about to play death metal from Norway. He plays it. It's loud and screamy. Sharon is dancing to the death metal and dogs are running. Meanwhile, inside, Ozzy is sleeping on a couch, snoring through it all, and though it's probably faked, it's still funny.
Oops. Kelly comes running out, obviously pissed and freaking out because of the death metal. "I don't care, I'm sleeping! Turn it off!" she yells. Jack says that she's not sleeping. Well, not now, you fucker. Kelly runs in her Paul Frank PJs and yells for her mom to turn it off -- full-on wobbler time. The neighbors can now be heard singing, "He's Got The Whole World In His Hand." Yuck. (This reminds me of a woman I know, a successful film director who lived in the Hollywood Hills in the same pad for twenty-five years. She moved when Hanson's manager moved into the house just up the hill and would blast Hanson day and night. She said that if it was Danzig or Metallica, no problem, but Hanson, she just wasn't strong enough for that.) A cat goes running. Sharon is pissed. Jack is playing music again. Jack yells over the fence that he has to get up very early in the morning. The Wankers yell back that he should get to bed then. Assholes. He says that he's been trying to get to fucking bed, but they're singing "I've Got The Whole World In My Fucking Hand," which is a much better version. Some American Douchebag yells over that if Jack doesn't like that song, would he like something else? That guy. Kill that guy. Fucking shithole. Jack and Kelly yell in tandem, "I'd rather you shut the fuck up!" (You know, this is all on tape, in case the Osbournes want to take them to court. Oh yeah, so is all of what's about to happen, which doesn't look so good for them. Never mind.) Someone tells Jack to Chill Out, and he asks if they're going to come beat him up, and they say something about how he's not being very mature, and he mocks them and someone yells, "Listen" and Jack says he's not listening to them. There's someone else with Jack, but I can't tell who it is. Oh, I see, they've driven around the front of that house or to the other side or something. Jack calls them "silly fucks" and yells for them to shove their acoustic guitar up their holes as he heads with the Unknown Friend to the car. They say that they'll sing Jack a lullaby. What assholes.
Suddenly they're back in the yard and they're blasting Sabbath (don't email and correct me if I'm wrong, people) and lots of people and dogs and cats are outside and Jack yells "fuck you!" and throws something over the fence. (I wonder what's up with the neighbors on the other side of the Osbournes during all this. Poor them.) Jack loves all of this. Kelly tells Jack that this is just going to provoke them, and Jack yells meanly, "Shut up and go to bed!" Now he's on a high balcony and he throws something. Jack throws like a girl, and Sharon looks and says, "You've thrown it in the fucking flowers again." I think it landed in their own yard. Ha. Oh, it's a ham. Jack tells Sharon to follow the dog to find it. Sharon takes out the ham from a bag. It's all moldy, and she holds it up to the camera and says, "This is a picture of his wife's pussy." Sharon cackles at her own joke and then tosses the ham. Now someone off camera (Aimee?) says, "They were making fun of Dad. They said you [Sharon] were a crazy whore." Sharon laughs. "Well, they're right with that one," says Sharon. Suddenly, Jack says that they called the cops and someone is at the door. Jack says, "I'm going to get Nick." Who is Nick? Either that or Jack means he's going to get "nicked," as in busted.
“ Crash! Ozzy dodders out of the bushes saying that it went through the window, all panicky like Rain Man when the fire alarm goes off. ”
Sharon goes inside and yup, she lets in two cops. They ask if they threw an object, and Sharon says she threw a bagel and a piece of ham. (That was no "piece," that was the whole fucking ham.) Sharon goes on that she's so frustrated as Jack hides upstairs watching. Hee. Pussy. Kelly explains that her window is on their side and she can't get a full night's sleep. Ever. Meanwhile, Ozzy is still snoring on the couch. Hee. A dog threatens to jump on him. Kelly continues that the "rave" music doesn't stop, and Sharon says that if the cops want to hear the acoustic version of "Kumbaya," they should just stick around, because the neighbors are bound to play it. The cops says, "Don't throw bagels at them. Don't throw cheese at them. Just call us." Sharon says they always call the cops and the cops say they're "powerless." I don't know what they mean -- I heard that if the noise complaints continue, the cops can confiscate their stereo equipment. I guess that would have little effect on rich people and guitar-singers. They tell the Osbournes not to yell at them or tell them they're going to call the cops, just call the cops. Sharon tells the cops to come into their backyard time so they can hear, and the cops say they will, that they have to witness it time. Sharon says that she will throw no more bagels, and the cops both turn, finding it the perfect time for lame cop humor, and start saying that they shouldn't waste good food anymore. Sharon now camera-talks that it will probably end ugly and have to go through the lawyers, but one thing is for certain -- she is "definitely" not moving. She smiles.
Another night. Lots of people. A fire is going. Loud music. Ozzy grabs a huge hunk of firewood, and Sharon is alternately laughing and telling him to stop. He dodders closer and closer to the fence with the wood. "Ozzy, no no no no no." She brings a bowl of bread and fruit to throw, like some misguided Greek offering. "Ozzy, not wood!" she yells. (That's what she says when Ozzy takes Viagra and she falls asleep.) She tells him that he'll be picked up for manslaughter. Ozzy goes to the side and throws the wood. Crash! Ozzy dodders out of the bushes saying that it went through the window, all panicky like Rain Man when the fire alarm goes off. Watching him trying to get free of a rope near the bushes is hysterical. I think Ozzy may be drunk here. Cops arrive! Run, Ozzy, run! Andthat's it.
time. Ozzy asks where his other gold card is. Kelly runs around looking for it as Sharon tells us that Kelly lost the credit card and blamed it in the meantime on her. Sharon says Kelly shouldn't have had it in the first place, and we see Kelly dumping her purse out and looking everywhere. (It'll probably turn up in some Lola alien shit in a couple days.) Also, Ozzy works out! Getting ready for his tour. Prime montage of Ozzy working out in shorts and a headband. A trainer stands by encouraging him, telling him that the arms look good. Now Ozzy is in a stadium doing a tech rehearsal. Sharon voice-overs that performing is what Ozzy lives for as Ozzy yells, "Bubbles?! Oh, c'mon, Sharon!" Bubbles indeed pour off the stage. "I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne! The prince of fucking darkness! Evil evil fucking evil! Not bubbles!" Awesome.