24-Hour Party People

S01E20

Back at Nathan's party, some kids screw with his toaster, which starts smoking. Haley's freaking out, of course. They body-surf Mouth through the room. She begs them to be careful. Eventually, she lands in front of Dim, Luke, and Peyton. She complains, "I cannot stop the madness!" Dim laughs. Peyton hands her a stiff drink, telling her she probably needs it. Haley drinks it down in one shot. The three of them were playing quarters, so when Brooke comes over with Nikki in tow, she notices this and says snottily, "I see you two are playing games, I'd watch out for them, they look like they might cheat." Lopsy-Topsy-Tipsy Nikki looks at Peyton and says, "Oh! You're still here. I thought you'd be running out to tuck in my kid." Peyton bites, and she knows she probably shouldn't, as all evidence of her high road evaporates the minute she sees Nikki's black-stained eyes: "Well, someone's got to." Nikki cuts back: "Yeah, well, hopefully it's not some slutty boyfriend thief." Brooke smirks and says that she'll drink to that. Is this the OTH version of Mean Girls, without the comedy? Because the whole girls-getting-into-it routine's already old; it was years old before we even got to this point in the series. Peyton doesn't back down, though, and her intentions are good. She says, "Why don't you do what you're good at and disappear." Nikki veers right off Insult Avenue and hops on the Crazy Train: "You got a problem?" Brooke tries to grabs her, but she chucks her off and steps right in Peyton's face. Peyton says, "Yeah, I do -- it's called you, bitch."

And watch out, people, because here it comes: the catfight. Nikki hauls off and slaps Peyton. Peyton slams into the wall and gives her a look that translates into something like, "You did not just do that!" And they're off -- give them some mud and a pit, and you've got a female wrestling match that could best the Olympics. It's nasty. Hair is pulled. Luke and Dim pull them off one another, only to have Nikki pick up a stool and throw it through the window. Of course, because the only way this party was going to end was in property damage that Nate doesn't have the money to pay for. They're back at it again. Other things break into matchstick pieces on the floor. Luke pulls Peyton off Nikki, AGAIN. Brooke actually jumps in this time to help get the two of them apart. Mouth stops the music dead. Brooke screams, "What the hell are you doing?" Haley and Luke hold Peyton. Nikki says, "Isn't this what you wanted?" Nikki scrambles against Dim, whose holding her tight and yelling, "Stop!" Luke points at the door and shouts, "You need to go!" Nikki wants the final word, though: "Well, isn't this sweet, Lucas Scott coming to the defence of his woman. Oh but wait, shouldn't that include someone else? Don't worry. I can keep a secret too." She giggles, and huffs, and puffs, and stumbles back into the room. Peyton turns around and faces Lucas: "What does she mean by that?" She's in near tears. "Lucas?" Luke says quietly, "She's the girl I met in the bar." Haley puts her hand up to her head and shakes it slowly. Peyton stands there as Brooke says, "Lucas Scott betrayal train, all aboard." Peyton brushes by him and says, "Unbelievable." , it's Brooke's turn: "And you called me easy." Thankfully, Nathan comes home at this point and sees the gigantic mess. Haley runs into his arms, apologizing. Of course, this is just the very time the cops show up asking whose house it is. Everyone's quiet for a minute. The cop says, "It's not going to be that hard to figure out, so you might as well speak up." Nathan tells him that it's his apartment. And that's the end of that party. The cop makes everyone go home. , he gets out a pad and starts writing Nathan a citation. Nathan shouts, "Me? I didn't do anything!" Luke shows up behind him and sees the whole thing. The cop starts talking about disturbing the peace, et cetera. Luke says, "Look, sir, he had nothing to do with this, he just got here." The cop turns to Luke and says, "It's his apartment. It's his responsibility." Now, after taking the high road all day, Nathan's mouth gets the best of him: "Great, I'm impressed. Did you learn that in detective school?" Oh, not a good idea; the cop chucks the cuffs on Nate and takes him down to the station. Now, that's the perfect ending to the perfect day.