Guess where we open this week? If you said the kitchen at Manning Manor, you're either psychic, or you've seen every other episode this season. Anyway, Eli heaves an enormous frozen turkey onto the counter in front of Zoe, who's slurping up cereal. "That's disgusting!" Zoe sniffs. Lily trails Eli through the back door, straining under the weight of a couple brown paper bags. She reminds Zoe that she ate a turkey sandwich just the day before. Grace moans her way in from the laundry room, holding up a shirt and bitching, "Why does she always do this? I was going to wear this today!" Jessie enters the kitchen with her ears burning and tells Grace that she was worried the shirt would shrink, so she didn't want to put it in the dryer. Here's a thought: why doesn't her Royal Sighness do her own frigging laundry? Slightly embarrassed, Grace mutters, "Oh, thanks." Zoe wants to know why their turkeys are always so huge, and Lily says that it's because the best part of Thanksgiving is the leftovers. She slaps her hands enthusiastically on the counter and chirps, "Okay, what time can you guys be here tonight?" Everyone but Zoe mumbles their respective excuses. "You know tonight's Pie Night!" Lily burbles, trying to muster some excitement. Pie Night? How'd this episode score the "PG" rating that's up in the corner of the screen? Lily takes in the blank faces and reminds them that Pie Night is a tradition. Grace points out that she and Jessie can't skip the play rehearsal, since it's "tech week." Lily wheedles that since it's their first Thanksgiving, she "wants everything to be --" "Perfect," Grace supplies. "Special," Lily insists. She cheerily suggests that she and Zoe will start on the pies, and the rest can join them as soon as they're finished living their lives.
The Adolescent Three file out of the kitchen, and Eli mutters to Grace, "You guys sure have a lot of traditions." Grace explains that Lily is insane for Thanksgiving, and usually wigs out this time every year, with her insanity lasting through New Year's. Jessie asks how many pies they usually make, and Grace deadpans that there are still some left over from last year. Smirks all around.
Meanwhile, Zoe's thrilled at the thought of Pie Night, raving that she loves making pies with Lily. She plunks a sifter down on the counter and moves to the sink to wash her hands. Staring at the sifter sends Lily plunging into a grainy flashback of herself as a little girl, staring eagerly up at adult hands as they tap flour through a sifter. So that's why she's so manic for Pie Night. She's yanked out of her reverie by a shuddering, grinding sound from the sink. It sounds like there's a Lawnboy in the pipes, and filthy water is spurting out of the taps. Lily covers her face and shrieks in horror.
The teens file down the staircase toward the front door, calling out a series of goodbyes. Lily's too busy unloading groceries and freaking out on the phone in the kitchen to notice. She tells the person on the other end that she knows it's the day before Thanksgiving, but she's "got nine people coming to dinner, and it's the first time [they've] all been together since [she] and [her] husband got married." After a pause, she supplies, "Six months." A few personal details later, she and the person have bonded, and Lily's voice sails an octave higher as she exclaims, "You can? Do you think you could be here before four o'clock?" Apparently, the person can. Relieved, Lily gushes her thanks and puts the last of the groceries into the fridge. She makes a show of fighting the door closed on all that food.
Cut to Rick's office. Sam looks at the fax in Rick's hands and groans, "What, another one?" Rick shuffles through the pile of drawings as Sam suggests, "Maybe we should just fire him." "Before he fires us, you mean?" Rick asks. Sam makes a move to leave, and Rick reminds him that they have a meeting at seven. Sam wonders which of the two evils he should face: the meeting, or his "soon-to-be-please-God- ex-wife." He asks if Rick thinks "the pilgrims ever got separated." Rick deadpans, "No, I think they stayed married for life, had sex twice, and were very, very thankful." Sam insists, "I'm thankful." "Well so am I," Rick says. Sam accuses, "You're more thankful than I am." Rick points out that he has a reason to be. "Sure, you got rid of Karen and everything turned out well," Sam oinks. Rick sighs, "Sure, my son's a pothead, my daughter's anorexic and so's my business. I'm a poster child for divorce." "Lily's nicer than Karen," Sam says. Jesus, is he five? Rick says that's why he married Lily. Sam starts pulling on his jacket and complains, "On any given day, I have the adrenaline level of a man being chased by a herd of mastodons." How appropriate that he likens himself to a caveman. Sam wonders if there's any chance of scoring some pot from Eli. Rick almost smiles, and his eyes soften. "You know, I am thankful. In ways I never imagined," he says. Rick says people need to stop and ask themselves if they're where they really want to be. Sam quips that he'd like to be in Fiji. Rick says, "Let's start with Thanksgiving," and then invites Sam to Manning Manor, not realizing that Lily already got the turkey. Sam makes with the excuse that it'll be a family thing. Rick insists that Sam's like family: "Obnoxious. Competitive." He urges Sam to come, promising that "it'll be fun." Sam asks whether Judy will be there. He complains that it could be awkward and mutters that it's just "a day when people eat too much," yada yada who cares. Rick chides, "Sam, have you heard anything I've said?" Sam reluctantly promises to think about it. Rick notices Sam heading for the door and asks where he's going. Sam assures him, "Don't worry. I'll be back in plenty of time not to finish what we wouldn't have gotten done for the meeting anyway."
Cut to the dressing room at the school auditorium, where all the actors are yammering away. Alexa braves the chaos to bellow that there's been some sort of technical problem, and they're going to have to wait for it to get sorted out. Everyone groans as Creepitri spells it out for them: they'll have to postpone their tech run-through, which means working later than they'd planned. He reminds them that the play opens in nine days, and suggests that if they "don't want to embarrass [themselves] in front of [their] parents, [their] grandparents, and everyone [they] know on the planet," they'll be back to rehearse, in costume, at seven o'clock that night.
But that's in direct conflict with Pie Night!
After Creepitri's pep talk, Jessie approaches Grace uncertainly, interrupting her conversation with a couple of other girls to ask whether Grace will give her a ride. Grace sniffs that she will, in a minute, and she and her friends walk away. Jessie plunks down in a chair in front of the make-up mirror, looking glum.
Meanwhile, Lily's racing around the aisles of the grocery store as if she didn't just come from there earlier that morning. She finds herself standing to Tiffany. After pleasantries, Tiffany asks whether Lily's bellybutton hurt when she was pregnant. Lily says that it did. They share a little sisterhood talk about how pregnancy is just a conspiracy, before Lily glances at her watch and remembers that she has a job. She says she should get back to work, and mutters that she's been at the grocery store three times already. Before she goes, she asks what Tiffany's doing for Thanksgiving, and then reminds herself that Jake went to see his mother. Tiffany reads the ingredients on a box of stuffing, and says that Thanksgiving was never a big deal for her. She shares that it was always so hard for her mother, except for one year, when they visited her "in rehab, and they had the best gravy. Everyone was so thankful!" Lily stares at her with pity and invites Tiffany to their dinner. Tiffany assures Lily that she doesn't have to keep being so nice to her. "Just come," Lily says gently. Tiffany looks secretly thrilled and accepts, asking what she can bring. Lily wheels her cart down the aisle, calling over her shoulder, "Nothing! It's going to be very simple. Three o'clock!" Tiffany shouts that she'll come early to help.
After commercials, we find Jessie wandering into Karen's house. It's dark and still, and Jessie stares around, looking a little creeped out. Her Soliloquy Self voice-overs that seems as if no one even lives there anymore, as if those "birds from Alice in Wonderland, with the brooms instead of tails...swooped in and erased everything." Isn't she there, like, four nights a week? Jessie surveys the almost-empty fridge as the front door opens and closes in the background. Karen is thrilled to see Jessie, saying that she wasn't expecting her. She shrugs off her coat, complaining good-naturedly, "Why does everyone want to sue the city on the day before Thanksgiving?" She flips on a light and gives Jessie a kiss on the cheek, asking if she'd like some tea. Jessie accepts, and Karen asks how the play is going. Jessie pouts that it's "okay" but gripes, "I swear, kids should not be allowed to do Shakespeare." She tries to make Karen promise not to come for opening night, but Karen won't hear of it. She's going to be there opening night and every night after. "It's going to be so lame," Jessie complains. Karen notices her eating yogurt out of a big container, and frets, "Oh, you're hungry! I'm sorry, I didn't really get a chance to get to the market." Unlike Lily, who's pitched herself a tent in the produce aisle. Hesitantly, Jessie asks what Karen's plans are for Thanksgiving. Karen says she's having dinner with friends -- Deborah and Steve -- who she hasn't seen in a long time. Jessie tries to smile. Karen sighs, sensing Jessie's guilt, and says that they've "been trading off holidays for a long time now." She asks whether Lily's having just the family. Jessie says she thinks Judy is coming, too. Karen thinks that will be nice. "It'll be weird," Jessie mopes. "Not Judy. I mean...Grace hates me for one thing." Karen pooh-poohs the notion, saying that Jessie and Eli fight all the time and it doesn't mean anything. "This is different. Trust me," Jessie insists. Karen tries to cheer her up by suggesting they make their famous marshmallow dessert for the dinner. Jessie groans and wonders why "adults are so obsessed with food." She starts telling Karen about Pie Night, but stops herself with a guilty eye-roll, remembering that's she's supposed to be there. "Pie Night?" Karen asks, incredulous. She and Jessie shoot one another a look and erupt in giggles. Jessie rolls her eyes at the ridiculousness of it all, and Karen happily kisses her cheek. Through her laughter, Jessie asks whether Karen can give her "a lift."
For a change of pace, they've employed a plucky piano player this week. The guitar guy must be off for the holiday. So plinky, plucky piano playing carries us over to the scene, which is a montage of Lily in an epic battle with pie crust. Lucille Ball, she ain't. And apparently, the tradition is for everyone to have their own pie for dessert and one to take home, since there's about thirty of them strewn around the kitchen. Grace enters the kitchen and cuts short the plucky piano. She grabs her knapsack and heads for the door as Lily, injured, wonders where Grace is going and when she'll be back. "Ask Dimitri," Grace grumbles, and then shouts, "Jessie, come on!" Jessie sighs into the kitchen, griping that she hasn't finished her homework yet. "Can't you do it in the car?" Grace snaps. Jessie stares at her. "What?" Grace demands. Jessie throws up her hands and relents, bitchily wondering whether Grace can wait two minutes while she grabs her stuff. Lily looks up from her mixing bowl and says, "Of course she can, can't you Grace?" Grace glares at her. Jessie frantically asks whether Lily's seen her sweater. Grace nearly rolls her eyes right out of her head. "He's gonna kill us," she grits. Jessie sighs and mutters, "Forget it." She slumps out the back door, and Grace shoots Lily a phony, sarcastic smile before following. Too bad the pies aren't done yet, because Grace really needs to get one right in the face.
The phone rings, and Lily answers it with, "Help!" Rick, calling from the office, asks what's wrong. Lily blows it off, but then cuts her finger and yelps. She blows off the injury, too, and wearily asks what time Rick will be home. He sighs that he still has to meet with Sam and then with Ian, "Colin's evil henchman." Lily states that he hasn't answered her question. "Late," he finally admits, just as the doorbell rings at the Manor. Rick quickly assures her not to worry, that he'll be there for "dead bird day." Zoe calls out that the plumber's there. "Who's there?" Rick asks. "My secret lover," Lily deadpans. She clicks off with a terse "I gotta go," as the plumber and Zoe appear in the kitchen doorway. Lily squints at the name patch on his shirt and says, "Hi...Raoul...hi." She leads him to the sad, sad sink. Raoul tackles the rumbling while Zoe starts putting her hands all over the pie stuff on the counter, asking if she can help. "Of course, sweetie," Lily says distractedly, just as the phone rings again. Lily hands off the phone to Zoe, who disappears out of the kitchen with it. Lily turns her attention to Raoul, who lets her know that the plumbing under the sink is kaput. She's incredulous when he suggests replacing it, pointing out that she's in the middle of getting ready for Thanksgiving. Raoul smiles and says that his sister's been cooking "since Monday." He flips on the faucet and tells Lily it's perfectly safe just to leave it as it is; it's just a "little dirty." The sink growls. "And loud," he adds. Lily asks if he could possibly be finished the work before three o'clock the day. By way of an answer, Raoul asks how big "the bird" is. He then asks after the stuffing, and Lily lights up, saying that she's using garlic, lemon, and walnuts. Raoul's partial to "blood oranges and cloves." He does the turkey-roasting math and figures that Lily needs to get the carcass in the oven by 6:30 AM. He adds that he'll get started right away, and then come back with the rest of the parts he needs tomorrow to finish the job. Lily claps her hands together in a silent prayer of thanks for this angel of an emergency plumber.
After commercials, we return to Rick and Sam in the midst of underwhelming Colin's man, Ian, with a model of the Dreiser lobby. Ian has a British accent like Madonna's (read: pompous and affected). Disdainfully, he asks, "You mean to tell me that people will have to sit on sofas while they check in?" Sam challenges, "Who says there has to be a formal distinction between the hotel bar and the registration?" Ian sniffs, "Only the city bureau in charge of granting us the liquor license." Rick breaks the news that Ian is, in fact, correct: no kids within five hundred feet of a place serving alcohol without food. A secretary calls out that Lily's on the phone for Rick, so he excuses himself. Sam tries to salvage his idea by saying that people could just order room service when they check in and have the food sent up with their luggage. Ian bares his teeth in a contemptuous grin and snorts his dismissal of the notion.
Rick asks Lily what's up. "You sound tense," she frets as she turns to her mid-century stove and pops another pie in. They're really going for the June Cleaver thing, here. Rick says they'll talk about it later. She wipes her hands on her apron and asks if Rick can stop at an all-night market on his way home. Apparently the minor details of sugar, cinnamon, and pippin apples slipped her mind on every one of her million trips to the grocery store. "The meeting's not going well, is it?" she asks sympathetically. Rick whispers that they'll talk about it later. She pops another pie in the oven, muttering that she needs two more. She adds that Rick can invite Ian to dinner, if it will help. Rick whispers, "Actually, I invited Sam." "You invited Sam?" Lily parrots, incredulous. Rick asks what's wrong. "We'll talk about it later," she answers. Wah wah.
Rick returns to the meeting, just as Ian declares that Colin really likes the open-concept thing. He suggests that they could rework the entrance "without losing that homey feeling." Ian glances at his watch, announces that he's missing a dinner meeting, and says they'll "meet again tomorrow, noon-ish," to see what they can come up with. Rick points out that tomorrow is Thanksgiving. "Not for me," Ian snips. And not because he's pseudo-British, but because he's meeting Colin in New York tomorrow, and he wants to be able to report favorably on the progress. He blows out. Sam sarcastically says, "I'm sure Lily will understand." He looks positively jazzed at the thought of the fireworks that are going to fly. For that split second, I don't actually hate him. Rick broods.
Cut to the auditorium, where the dress rehearsal is underway. Jessie strolls around the stage in a peasant blouse, reciting her lines to some kid with a newsboy cap and a walking stick. This play looks bad, and I base that judgment solely on Grace's costume, which is the embodiment of a bad French stereotype: striped boat-neck shirt with a black vest, a black beret jauntily tipped to one side, and a messenger bag slung across the shoulders. Grace and another kid creep onstage and take their positions. It's Jessie's turn to deliver another line, but she goes blank. A few kids in the audience giggle. Creepitri snaps his fingers to silence them, then leans over to mutter, "Line," to Alexa. She feeds it to Jessie, who finishes it but then draws another blank. Grace makes a point of leaning against the scenery and swiveling her eyes with exaggerated boredom. Jessie throws up her hands, sighing, "What's wrong with me?" Alexa reads off the rest of the line, and Grace pointedly mouths along with her, showing that she knows Jessie's part as well as her own. And that she's a bitch. Jessie sees her doing it, and her confidence takes another dive. She picks up her line and pushes on, though. When she's finished, Grace takes her cue and strolls forward, reciting her line in an inflated voice, like she's Olivier or something. Jessie looks positively wretched, and I don't think Grace's rotten hamming is the cause.
Karen, meanwhile, is having an introspective moment in her kitchen. She pulls some books from her satchel, and triggers her Soliloquy Self.
Up on the Stool, Karen hugs an armload of books and muses that everyone signed her yearbook, "Don't ever change." She thinks that's the worst thing you could say to a person. "But, what's really frightening is, I haven't changed," she says. She shakes her head regretfully and adds, "Not really, anyway."
Back in her kitchen, Karen twists the phone cord around her finger and says into the receiver, "Is your mom there?" She greets her friend Deborah and then proceeds to fib her way out of coming for Thanksgiving, claiming that she's come down with a cold. She forces a weak cough for good measure. She assures Deborah that she's just going to rest and "lay low," and that she'll be fine. She hangs up, looking a little disappointed with herself.
Meanwhile, over at Manning Manor, Lily's still in the kitchen, sporting her apron. She's tearing up a loaf of bread for stuffing. Judy wanders in through the back door, and Lily swoons, "My hero! You've saved me!" Judy shrugs off her jacket and warns, "Just don't force me to make pies, okay?" Lily counters that Judy always loved helping their mother make pies. "That was you," Judy argues. Lily gets wistful, remembering how good the kitchen always smelled. "Mom never let me in the kitchen," Judy kids. She says Babs called her, and Judy has never heard her sound happier -- she's volunteering at a homeless shelter for the holiday. "They'd better like pie," Judy adds, picking up a knife and attacking celery with it. "Have you ever noticed that store-bought stuffing tastes just as good as homemade?" she teases. She can't be serious. "Judy!" Lily scolds. Judy asks where all Lily's "little elves" are. Lily rhymes off their various locations: slumber party, work, and rehearsal. At the mention of Rick and Sam battling a deadline, Judy tries to stay calm and casually asks whether Lily has seen their drawings. She has. They both agree that the drawings are "amazing," and the "space" will be "amazing." After an awkward second of silence, Judy asks with faux nonchalance, "So, is he doing okay?" Lily slowly says she doesn't know. Judy leaps to the defensive, insisting that she's "not obsessing"; she was "just wondering how he is." Lily tries to insist that she wasn't thinking anything of Judy's question -- she really doesn't know how Sam is. She slips in, "You can ask him yourself, I suppose, since Rick has invited him for Thanksgiving." Judy's stomach clenches. Lily admits that she wasn't going to tell her because she didn't want to upset her. Judy continues chopping the celery with her big knife, which makes me really nervous. People shouldn't handle sharp objects when they're that distracted. Lily says, "Knowing Sam, he won't show up anyway, but I was going to have Rick dis-invite him." "Why, because I can't handle it?" Judy asks, sounding offended. "Well, can you?" Lily demands.
Judy's spared from answering when Grace and Jessie drag themselves through the back door. Grace immediately makes with the complaining, saying, "You're not going to believe this." Lily interrupts to ask whether they're hungry. Jessie groans that she's not, and says she's just going to go to bed. Lily watches her slump off, concerned. "Grace, is she okay?" she asks once Jessie is gone. "None of us are!" Grace whines. She adds, "We stunk so bad tonight that he's making us rehearse again tomorrow. And he's completely right." Lily's mouth falls open in horror. "You have to rehearse on Thanksgiving?" she squeaks. She wonders, "Who is this Dimitri person?" and voices her outrage that a holiday could be so callously dismissed. She then demands to know who's going to help her get dinner ready. Judy takes it as her cue to leave, which doesn't sit well with Lily. Grace sips at a glass of juice and waits for Lily to calm down marginally. She tells Lily that she's really tired. Lily says she knows, and assures her that the play "is going to be great." Grace says that she's sorry she can't help with dinner. Liar. She heads off to bed. Lily slips into another flashback of herself as a girl, staring adoringly at her mother's hands and working a piece of pie dough, and sighs over the elusive dream.
Cut to Rick tiptoeing into their darkened bedroom. He knocks into something, and Lily says softly, "I'm up." He apologizes. Lily asks how the meeting went, and Rick sighs that he's "the referee" in Sam and Ian's "titanic macho artist death struggle." Rick crawls under the covers, saying he got the cinnamon and sugar, but no apples. He starts snuggling up to Lily's back, rubbing her hip suggestively. She murmurs, "That feels good," but that's about all the response he gets. He stifles a yawn and asks, "You want to, uh...?" Lily yawns right back at him and says, "Yeah, sure." Wow, that's hot. Rick yawns one more time and says, "Lil? Lil, you awake?" She jumps back to consciousness, saying that she is, and asks whether he set the alarm. He wonders why, reminding her that it's Thanksgiving tomorrow. Lily points out that frozen dead birds can be harsh taskmasters, and she has to get up 6:30 AM to pull the turkey out of the freezer. Rick fumbles with the alarm, graciously offering to get up in her place to take care of the turkey. Lily snuggles into his shoulder, purring that he's very sweet. Rick adds that he'll let the plumber in, too. Lily closes her eyes and murmurs, "I love you." Rick braces himself and adds that he will then have to go to work. Lily swats his chest and pouts that she hates him. She sits bolt upright as Rick scrambles to assure her that it won't be for the whole day, and he'll be back in time for..."For what?" Lily whisper-yells, flipping on the bedside lamp so he can see her glaring indignation. "For dinner," Rick cowers. He asks if she thinks he's making it all up to get out of helping her. "Rick, do you have any idea what this day means to me?" she demands. Oh, well, as long as it's all about her. She whines that it's not about the help; it's about them being a family. She points out that it's their first Thanksgiving as a family, in case it somehow slipped his notice. Rick says he knows. "No you don't!" Lily squeals, griping, "You've been working every minute since you took this job!" Rick voices the question on all our minds: Did she prefer it when he was unemployed? Lily pouts that they're either a family or they're not, and there's "no indication that [they're] anything but six strangers living in a boarding house." She says that Eli and Grace will be gone soon, and she wants the kids to bond while they're all still together, or they never will. Rick sighs wearily. He'll have plenty of time to think about what a selfish, inconsiderate ass he is as we head to commercials.
We return just as the crappy little alarm clock starts beeping to Rick. Lily nudges him, but he begs for just another minute. Lily heaves a disgruntled sigh and drags her martyred ass off toward the kitchen while Rick sleeps on, blissfully unaware of his broken promise.
Down in the kitchen, Lily and Butterball go head to head. She struggles under its staggering eighteen pounds, and it looks for a second as though the turkey will prevail. Lily gets herself down low, though, and with a clenched, "God --!" she manages a stunning comeback, heaving Butterball onto the island countertop. Butterball's not going down that easily, though, and it flings itself right off the other side, skidding to a stop in front of Zoe and Raoul. They stare from the turkey to Lily, who's still breathless and doubled over from the fight. They're a little nervous about the crazy ragged lady in the pink flannel pajamas.
Cut to Karen lying in bed, staring vacantly. Wind chimes jingle outside her window, and she turns toward the sound. The lace curtains flutter in the breeze and transform from color to black-and-white. The camera elbows its way through them, and we find Soliloquy Karen waiting on the other side. With a fond smile, she recounts that her parents told her that when she was a little girl, she'd wake up early and run outside naked to the porch swing. "They said they'd wake up, and there I'd be, happily singing and swinging away." Karen looks wistful and adds that she has no recollection of it herself, or what it must have felt like. The ass-pole likes it that way.
Over at Manning Manor, Tiffany has joined Raoul in the kitchen, where she's regaling him with tales of her birth, and how stoned her mother was for it. She mutters that they could have switched her for all her mother would know. She wants to stay drug-free during her labor, so she can remember and describe every second of it for her kid. Raoul assures her that she'll have no problem. Because dealing with copper pipes makes him an expert on childbirth. Lily flies into the kitchen with a couple of Post-It notes struck on her shirt. She greets Tiffany and asks whether she'd like a drink. She reaches for the tap, catches herself, and chides, "Raoul!" What, they only drink tap water at Manning Manor? Highly unlikely. Tiffany assures Lily that she's fine, and Raoul promises he'll have the tap fixed soon. He asks how often Lily is planning to baste the turkey. "Most people say every half hour, but I do it more often," he says. He advises her to "add a sprig or two of sage to the bottom of the pan; it'll flavor the whole bird." Lily looks a little thrown, but thanks him nonetheless.
Judy flaps through the back door, waving a pink pastry box full of sugar and fat and other nasty things that signal emotional wreckage. She tries to hide the fact that tears are streaming down her face, but the others are onto her. Lily quickly moves toward her, asking if Judy is okay. Judy half-heartedly waves Lily away and mutters that she's okay. She's safe, though, since it seems Lily was only moving in for the pastry box, not a hug. As she puts the box on the counter, Lily glances toward the stove and sees a huge pot boiling over. She reacts as if it's nuclear sludge pouring out on her stovetop. Raoul wipes his hands and says he'll take care of it. Lily gratefully lets him. I wonder if Raoul is billing them hourly? It would explain his eagerness to do anything but actually fix the sink. Lily grabs Judy by the hand and pulls her into the dining room to get to the bottom of the tears.
Plunking down across from Judy, Lily orders, "Talk!" Judy quietly says that she doesn't think she'll be able to make it for dinner. She's all apologies as she explains that she can't handle having Sam there, even though she should be able to. Lily puts her foot down and says she's calling Rick -- she'd rather have Judy, her sister, at dinner, than Sam. Family ties aside, who wouldn't? Judy makes with the noble and says that she doesn't want Lily to do that; after all, Rick is her husband, and Sam is his partner. She says she just wants Lily to have the perfect Thanksgiving, and utters the three words Lily loves to hear: "You deserve it." Since it's Lily's first Thanksgiving with the new family, and since she has a house full of kids, Judy wants her to "have the best Thanksgiving ever." Lily tries to fight back her own tears. "What?" Judy asks. "I hate Thanksgiving," Lily chokes.
Karen, meanwhile, gets a visit from The Ghost Of Thanksgiving Past. She wanders into the dining room on her way to the kitchen, but stops abruptly, staring around the still, drawn room. She turns to walk back out of the room, pursing her lips, but stops when she hears voices and laughter echoing behind her. She pauses in the doorway and watches as a bright Thanksgiving scene, bathed in golden light, unfolds. A shaggy Rick entertains a pint-sized Eli and Jessie, while Karen, sporting a peasant blouse, carves the turkey. Nightie Karen wanders into the flashback, glowing at the sight of her young children. She stops when she gets to her old self, laughing and staring adoringly at Shaggy Rick.
Soliloquy Karen hops on the Stool to voice the doubt she's clearly feeling as she watches her old self. "Have I ever really been happy? Or was I just making sure that everyone else was happy?"
Karen's snapped out of her flashback when a car door slams outside. The golden light fades quickly to a harsh gray. Karen clutches her nightie and peeks out behind the drawn blinds. Eli and his buddies are hauling music equipment out of a van. Karen glances around the room and then down at herself, realizes what it must look like, and rushes upstairs.
Eli bounds up the porch stairs and comes through the front door as Karen races down the stairs, pulling her robe around herself. Eli's surprised to find her at home, and explains he thought the band could rehearse there while she was at her friends' place for dinner. Karen stammers that she has a headache. Eli apologizes, and pops out to the porch to call off the rehearsal. Karen waits, looking guilty. Eli comes back inside to get his guitar, and Karen apologizes, saying she didn't know what he'd planned.
Soliloquy Karen tells us, "I always felt so responsible for everything. I come from a long line of worriers. If you didn't do your job, the sky would fall down, and the world would collapse."
Karen stands in the hallway, watching Eli cart his guitar toward the door. Feeling awkward, she asks whether the band has somewhere else to rehearse. Eli assures her they do, and Karen apologizes one more time. Eli studies her face and asks if she's okay. Karen makes her voice light and says she's fine. She opens the door for him and wishes him a happy Thanksgiving. Looking concerned, he kisses her cheek and leaves.
Meanwhile, over at Manning Manor, the Post-It notes are multiplying like rabbits. They're threatening to overtake Lily's shirt entirely. She studies each one carefully, as Zoe slowly sets the dining room table. "How you doing in there, Raoul?" Lily bellows. He calls back that the gravy is almost done. "I meant the sink!" Lily yells. Zoe sniggers. Grace throws open the front door and barges in, followed by the rest of her castmates. They're all still in their lame-ass costumes. "Mom? Mom, it's a nightmare," Grace whines. She gripes that "they" closed the auditorium on them and wouldn't even let them change out of their costumes. Lily asks why. "The janitor wanted to be with his family or something," Grace says contemptuously. Yeah, how dare he think his family holiday is more important than some crappy, folksy high-school production of Shakespeare? Lily surveys the assembled cast and asks where Jessie is. "She's coming...with someone," Grace lies, and quickly changes the subject by introducing Lily to the kids. Where the hell is Tad? Wasn't he in this train wreck, too? Creepitri stops staring at the house long enough to push forward through the students to introduce himself as "the evil August Dimitri." He asks if they "could just use [Lily's] living room," and tells her just to kick them out whenever she's ready for dinner.
Okay, what? Grace knows that Lily is cooking a huge dinner single-handedly, and just a couple hours before, offers up the house as a rehearsal site? And the teacher accepted? This is beyond ridiculous.
Lily doesn't have much choice, so she agrees, albeit unenthusiastically. As the mob surges into the living room, Lily yanks Grace aside. She'd better give her hell for being so inconsiderate. Lily wants to know how Grace could not make sure that Jessie had a ride. Is Jessie four years old all of a sudden? All the other kids found themselves rides. "Mom, she's fine. I'm not the tour director of her life, okay?" Grace grits. The front door opens, and the two of them turn, expecting to see Jessie. Instead, it's Eli, hefting equipment and trailed by his bandmates. He explains they need a place to rehearse, so they'll be in the garage. He glances at the chaos in the living room, but wisely chooses not to ask what's going on. Lily stands there, agape, while people stream past her and the plucky piano kicks it.
Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Raoul bastes the turkey as Tiffany hops on a stool and chatters about wanting to do something to help. Raoul says the turkey's done, if you ask him. Which is funny, because I don't think anyone has. Tiffany asks how he can tell without one of those poppy meat thermometers. Raoul explains that he uses the old jiggle test. He wiggles the drumstick to demonstrate. Tiffany is impressed.
Lily's moving crap out of the living room to give the thespians more room. She's clearly lost her mind. Over the din, Zoe yells that Raoul thinks the turkey is done, but Lily shouts that they have to wait for Rick to get home before they take it out of the oven. She wades through the sea of people with a lamp in her hand.
Karen's place is positively still. You can hear clocks ticking and dust motes falling, it's so quiet. She closes her closet door, having apparently decided against getting dressed, and surveys her bedroom restlessly.
Lily's back in the kitchen, pulling stuff out of the oven and burning the plumber's fingers. Grace rushes in to pull Lily into the living room. Jessie hasn't arrived yet, and they need someone to read her lines. And none of the other twenty people standing around with nothing to do are up to it, apparently. Lily protests that she doesn't have time, but Grace begs and promises that everyone will leave right afterward. Raoul ushers Lily out of the kitchen , saying he'll take care of things while she's gone. "Okay, well, don't let me forget the rolls!" Lily exclaims. "Oh, here," Tiffany says, scrawling yet another reminder on a sticky note. She slaps it onto Lily's sternum.
Out in the living room, Lily takes her place in the center of the mute and illiterate group of students. Creepitri hands her the play and shows her the lines they need her to read. Creepitri and Grace start saying lines, and Lily agitatedly reads over her sticky notes, glances at her watch, and rubs her forehead. Because she's very busy. "Mom," Grace says. Lily snaps to attention and reads off a line. Blah blah blah from Grace, and then it's Lily's turn again. As Lily's reciting her line, Jessie comes through the front door and catches the cuckoo in her nest. She looks hurt that the show went on without her. Lily finishes her line, and Creepitri thanks her, taking back the play. He notices Jessie standing in the foyer and sarcastically thanks her for joining them. Asshole. Lily asks Jessie what happened. "I walked," Jessie answers glumly. "But Grace said she thought that you --" Lily says. The smile slips off Grace's face pretty damn fast, now that she's busted. Jessie quickly says that it's okay. Lily fires off a double-barreled stink-eye at Grace.
Meanwhile, over at the office, Rick and Sam are entertaining Ian the pompous ass. He's basically just Miles II, but without the charm or interest. He's regaling them with some pretentious bullshit about another project he worked on, and trying his damnedest to sound like an ahr-teest. Rick and Sam aren't even listening. The clock on the wall says it's 4:10, which means that Rick is already over an hour late for dinner. Finally, Rick decides he's had enough, and pops out of his chair abruptly. He informs Ian that he's going home. Rick asks Sam whether he's coming. "Ian hasn't finished his story yet," Sam says, brown-nosing with wild abandon. Ian doesn't get that he's being mocked.
Lily finally caves and brings the turkey out to the table, which is surrounded by thespians picking away at her food like vultures. Creepitri herds them out, reminding them that they aren't invited to dinner. He remembers to thank Lily on his way out.
In the kitchen, Tiffany and Raoul are discussing the Beatles, and how a person's favorite Beatle says a lot about their personality. ["I hope someone's favorite Beatle was George. Snif!" -- Sars] Tiffany lights a candle and turns to head for the dining room. She gasps in pain and sets the candle on the stove as she clutches her belly. Raoul rushes over, ever the concerned emergency plumber. Tiffany decides that she's okay. Lily comes into the kitchen with an exuberant, "Okay!" Raoul informs her that he's all done, and buttons the cuff of his non-plumbing shirt. Lily asks what time is his dinner, and when he answers that it's at seven o'clock, she invites him to stay and eat with them, too. Raoul laughs self-consciously and tries to beg off, but Lily and Tiffany won't hear of it. He relents and sets down his invoice, saying he'll go wash up. Speaking of which, I hope he washed up every time he diddled around with dinner, after having his hands in the pipes and shit all day. Lily and Tiffany head to the dining room, leaving Tiffany's candle on the stovetop. The flame licks the edge of a pot holder. Dun dun duuuuun.
There's another fire starting in the dining room, but this one involves the seating arrangements. Jessie comes into the room and tells Zoe that she was going to sit in the chair that Zoe is in. Zoe wants to know why Jessie always gets to sit where she wants. Jessie says that she was there first, although I don't know how that's possible, since it's Zoe's ass that's planted on the seat. Grace grumbles for Zoe just to give up the chair. Tiffany announces that she can smell something. Jessie stomps around the table to sit between Eli and Grace. "I'll sit here," she mutters as she flops in the chair. "What is your problem?" Grace shrills at her. Rather than beating her about the head with a drumstick, as I surely would have done, Jessie just shrieks back, "What is your problem?" Eli shoots Grace a dirty look. Lily goes boom. That gets everyone's attention, and they stare at her as she rants on about how ungrateful they are, and how hard she's worked for the past two days with no help from them. "I think year I'll just go play my guitar and stay at work!" she whines. Grace says they had stuff they had to do. "And acting like a family is something you have to do, too!" Lily snaps. Raoul is really happy he decided to stay for dinner, I'm sure. Grace counters that they "aren't one big happy family, in case [Lily] hasn't noticed," and says that if Lily weren't "so busy being cheerful all the time..." Lily snarls that she's not cheerful. Grace starts mocking Lily's excitement over Pie Night. Zoe chimes in that she actually wanted to help with the pies. Tiffany says she definitely smells something. Lily starts phase two of the lecture, but stops herself to ask, "What is that smell?" The smoke detector starts beeping as Raoul the helpful emergency plumber points to the kitchen and yells, "Smoke!"
Everyone races into the kitchen, where the stove is consumed in flames. The kid who plays Zoe almost laughs, but covers her mouth to save the take. Grace frantically calls 9-1-1 while Raoul valiantly tries to swat at the flames so he can turn off the stove. Does he know that turning off the stove won't actually put out the fire? Eli grabs the fire extinguisher, tells everyone to stand back, and lets the foam fly while making what can only be described as a sex face. Thankfully, we head to commercials.
After the break, Rick returns home to find firemen swarming around the front door. He rushes for the house with a full-on guppy face, and a fireman steps forward to assure him that everything is okay. Lily comes outside, wrapping her coat around herself. Rick asks what happened. "Oh, I burned down the kitchen," she says flatly. Rick asks whether she's all right. "Depends on how you define 'all right,'" she says. She gives him a cold stare, turns on her heel, and marches back into the house.
Inside, Rick surveys the ruins of Thanksgiving dinner, and tries to hide his surprise at finding Tiffany there. Raoul wanders out from the kitchen, and Tiffany introduces him to Rick. Rick looks befuddled. He asks where the kids are, and Tiffany says they're upstairs changing. Too bad she means clothes, and not personalities. Rick heads for the stairs.
Lily's busy reliving the less perfect aspects of her childhood Pie Nights. Little Lily tries to lift a huge pie onto a counter that's higher than her head, and the pie slips and falls to the ground. Angry Mom Hands scold her and grab her chin so hard that they squish her cheeks. Pie Night bites, if you ask me.
Rick finds Lily feeling sorry for herself, and she announces that she's "never going to do this again." Rick fights the urge to get it in writing, and instead says that he's "so sorry." Lily says she was stupid to think it was even possible to have the happy family she wanted. Rick argues that it isn't. Lily says that even if the kitchen hadn't caught fire, Grace and Jessie are at each other's throats, and Eli wants to be anywhere but there, and Judy is more concerned with her "stupid non-boyfriend" than she is with being with the family. "And you thought one family dinner was going to change all that?" Rick asks gently, putting an arm around her shoulder. Lily cries and says she doesn't know what she thought. "Life just goes by, Rick. You know? When we're not looking. It just goes by. We can't let it, Rick." He kisses her forehead. Lily snuffles and says she'll be down in a minute.
Downstairs, Jessie asks what time Karen is supposed to be back from dinner. Eli says she didn't go. Jessie starts to say that that's not possible, then trails off, realizing that it is. Rick enters the kitchen, and Grace asks how Lily is doing. Oh, now she cares. Tiffany tries to put a good spin on things, and asks if anyone else is hungry. Everyone is starving, so they take stock of the ruins and see what they can salvage. Raoul offers up the champagne he was going to take to his sister's place. "I love leftovers," Tiffany chirps.
Judy pulls up outside, just ahead of Sam. They each offer to take a powder, but Sam insists that Judy should stay. She admits that she wasn't really willing to leave, anyway. They stare awkwardly at one another for a second until Sam says, "Hi Judy." Judy melts and says they should just grow up. "Okay, you first," Sam smiles. Judy smiles back and heads for the house. Sam grins to himself and follows.
In the living room, everyone's chowing down. Raoul gets up and says he has to get going to his sister's. But not before he slips Tiffany his card and tells her to call if she ever has any "plumbing or household needs..." Household needs? Rowr! Raoul leaves, just as Judy and Sam walk in. Jessie spoons more dessert onto Grace's plate, because they suddenly don't hate one another anymore. That's the power of marshmallows, folks. Judy's surprised to see everyone sprawled around the living room, and says she likes it.
Still in the bedroom, Lily wipes at her eyes and freezes when she hears happy voices from downstairs. She cocks her head and then gets up to investigate. Halfway down the stairs, she pauses and takes in the familial bliss spread out before her. Rick glances up at her, sets down his plate, and comes to ask her to join them. Lily says she'd love to, and we get some close-up clips of everyone laughing and getting along.
Karen moves woodenly into her bedroom and clicks off the light, staring vacantly.
Jessie hands Lily a plate of food, and Rick hands her some wine. "I think this is my favorite holiday again," Lily says. She realizes it's about that time when she should be making her pull-it-all-together golden-tongued speech, and asks if it would break the mood if she said grace. "What?" Grace says. Lily explains that she meant a prayer. Grace tells her to go for it, and Lily launches into an impromptu expression of thanks. "We all know we have so much to be grateful for right now, just being here together," she begins. "All of us live our lives so locked away in ourselves, locked away in our hearts, locked away in our thoughts, all alone." We cut to Karen, alone in her room, to drive this point home. "When you go through something like we've all gone through in the past year, I think we need to come out of ourselves and reach out to each other." Grace glances at Jessie, full of guilt. "Because none of us really knows what could happen tomorrow; we don't even really know if we have a tomorrow. All we really have is today." Sam and Judy exchange a look. "All we have is this moment to say what needs to be said. I'm so thankful that we have each other. I love you. I love you very much." Everyone smiles, and Rick looks up at Lily adoringly. Zoe climbs onto Lily's lap for a hug. Jessie absorbs Lily's words. Lily, Lily, Lily.
Karen is jolted awake when she hears her front door open and close. She grabs her robe and heads out to confront the intruder. It turns out to be Jessie, who's set a plate of leftovers for Karen at the dining room table. Karen looks overcome when she sees it and, with a grateful sigh, pulls Jessie close. She smiles through her tears as she hugs her daughter tightly.