Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Judy Needs a Good Gluck
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.23.2001
Jake, mercifully, interrupts. He's come to make chit chat, and asks facetiously if he's "going to see this one again." Paul complains that the chicken wasn't "heavy" and "greasy" like his mother used to make. Is he for real? I'm seriously having a hard time figuring out if this is the guy's idea of a joke. Judy looks like she wants to slip under the table, but whether it's because of the asinine things he's saying now, or the asinine things he said earlier, I'm not sure. Jake suavely assures Paul that when he comes back, Jake will personally overcook the chicken. He takes Judy's hand and tells her to have a good time before he strides away. "Now that's service," the grinning idiot blithers, jerking his thumb in Jake's general direction.
The bell's ringing at the high school, and Wannabe comes racing up to Eli in the hall. She jumps on his back, and he piggybacks her a few paces. He asks where she was second period, and of course, she skipped it. She leads him to the women's faculty washroom and hunches over the doorknob. "What are you doing?" he asks warily. She produces a key and opens the door. Stepping inside, she gives him the demon look again and says she dares him. Eli glances around, and Wannabe yanks him inside the washroom. She turns off the lights and starts wrangling with his belt buckle. He protests, but only because they're in the "teachers' bathroom." He points out that if they get caught, they'll get suspended. "What a reason to get suspended for," Carla rebuts. Oh, god, here come the plunger faces again. Thankfully, they're interrupted momentarily by a gray-haired member of the faculty. She demands to know what they're doing, like it's not glaringly obvious. She immediately asks how they got a key, and Eli starts laying a line smoother than Ex-Lax. He says the door was unlocked. Refastening his buckle, he repeats that they tried the door and it wasn't locked. The teacher tells them to get out and consider themselves lucky they're not spending the next week at home. Dude, if I were her, I would have at least sent them down to the guidance office for a little lesson in condoms and stuff. But whatever. In the hallway, Wannabe congratulates Eli on his fast thinking. He looks like someone just turned a freezing cold hose on him. Carla takes off down the hallway, and he watches her, pissed.
Judy turns the open sign in the bookstore that evening, and as she heads back to the cash counter, someone comes in behind her. She's about to say the store's closed, but then turns and sees that it's Will Gluck. He nervously says he just decided not to call. Judy's taken aback. He thought it would be easier face-to-face. "What would be easier?" Judy asks. "To tell you that I want to see you." I swoon. Again. "And, uh, just hold you," he adds, flapping his arms for emphasis. I swoon some more. Judy looks at him, and his boyish grin spreads, bringing out the dimples. Still swooning. "Listen," Judy starts. "I'm listening," he says. "What?" "Well, you keep saying 'listen,' and, I'm listening." She says she says that because she doesn't know what to say. He suggests that maybe that's a good thing. She changes her story. She does know what to say, it's just hard. "Listen," she starts again then catches herself. "I don't think we're a good idea," she says, flat out. Suddenly, Will's much closer to her. He asks why not. Judy is thrown. She thinks a moment, then stammers, "Uh, because...well, to tell you the truth, we have nothing in common. People do this all the time. They're attracted to someone, and then they invest themselves in that person because they want it to be more, but, it isn't more because, finally, it is what it is. And I can't do that anymore." Will asks how she knows. She answers that she's done it too much. He clarifies: how does she know they don't have anything in common? Judy looks at him a minute. "I just do," she bullshits, praying that he'll stop asking questions she can't answer. "I think you're wrong," he says. Then he leans in and kisses her. Judy doesn't exactly object. When they finally stop, she's agape and looks stunned. In a good way. Will smiles at her. "And I'm seeing someone else," she blurts. Judy! What the hella ya doing? Will looks like she just slapped him. He struggles to absorb what she just told him. "Someone that you like?" he finally asks. "Yeah," she says, watching him guardedly. She apologizes and he nods wordlessly. He's got tears in his eyes. I've got bald patches where I've been tearing at my hair for the past two minutes. Will turns and leaves, hunching sadly, and pulling his jacket around himself. He doesn't look back. Judy moves to the door and sadly watches him through the window while the wind howls faintly.
After commercials, we're back at the bookstore. Karen's back again, too. She's purchasing several copies of the same book. Judy tells her she's so nice, and Karen "ah nothing"s that it'll just save everyone in the book club a trip. Oh! I guess she's talking about that book club from last season -- the one Naomi didn't invite Lily to join. ["See?" -- Wing Chun] Man, I'd better start on the ginkgo biloba if I'm going to keep recapping this show. As Judy rings through Karen's card, Karen leans conspiratorially on the counter and grins, asking, "So?" Judy keeps her eyes shyly focused on the countertop. "No news," she says and giggles. Karen says she thinks it's great. Judy says maybe it would have been when she was twenty-five. "So, pick one," Karen advises. Judy says it's easy to pick one. She starts running through Paul's checklist again, concluding, "He's the picture. The guy I always thought I'd be with." Sure, maybe when you were six and thought Ken was the bomb and imagined yourself living in the Malibu Beach House. By now, though, you should have figured out that Ken's pretty package is missing a lot of important stuff. And I think you know what I'm saying. "I love this!" Karen says. "But why am I so attracted to the second one?" Judy wonders. Duh. Because he's real. Karen asks whether Judy's attracted to the first one -- Paul. Judy uncertainly says that she thinks so. Then, she boldly repeats that she is attracted to him. Well, I'm convinced. Judy adds that he just seems "really cautious about opening up." "Unlike the rest of us," Karen says sagely. Judy realizes that she's putting too many expectations on him and analyzing every moment that they spend together. She admits that she's just as afraid -- then she interrupts herself, saying she just realized why she's so attracted to Will Gluck. Because he's yummy? No, because he offers her a way to keep Paul at bay, and protect herself from opening up to him. Oh, please. It's really not as complicated as all that. Karen agrees with Judy's diagnosis, however. You can't blame her, though, since she's never been in the presence of the mighty Gluck. Judy thanks her, jokingly calling her "doctor." "Now, if I could only cure myself," Karen laughs, as she heads for the door.