Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Judy Needs a Good Gluck
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 10 | Aired on 01.23.2001
Wannabe slinks toward Eli, her eyes growing mockingly wide as she makes fun of Rick: "You may not have dinner outside the designated eating area." Eli smiles. "If you are found outside the designated eating area, your brain will be removed," Wannabe says, grabbing at Eli's hair and laughing. I wonder if that's what happened to her? Eli doesn't seem to mind that his father is undoubtedly within earshot of Wannabe's rude little exercise. He laughs and sweeps Wannabe into the air. "Stay," he says, putting her back on the ground. She looks up at him (which, of course, means that her mouth hangs open. It's like she's unable to move her lower jaw in conjunction with the rest of her skull, so from now on, I think it's safe to assume that, whenever I say Wannabe looks up at something, her mouth is necessarily hanging open.) and shakes her head. One more round of sloppy plunger kisses follows, and Wannabe pulls away just as it gets heated and says, "Call me later." She certainly knows how to handle a high school boy, doesn't she? Eli makes a couple of frustrated grunts, and rubs his forehead as the front door closes behind her.
"You did not!" Judy exclaims playfully. We follow her voice around a warm red restaurant, where she's seated with some dark-haired guy wearing a v-neck. I hate it when people don't wear anything under their v-necks. And he eats with his arm across the table, in front of his plate, which also drives me crazy. So that's two strikes and he hasn't even opened his mouth yet. Three, if you count the fact that he's not Will Gluck. He seems to have just finished a tale about how he took up the violin when he was a kid. Judy then asks about "the money thing." He explains that after college, he started a business headhunting for Ivy Leaguers. Judy jokes about his accomplishments, asking whether this was between winning the Pulitzer and his bid for Congress. "You mock me, that's nice, third date," he says, adding, "You know, when I grew up, young people had respect." Judy smiles girlishly at him then picks up her wine goblet with both hands.
"He's so normal!" she exclaims in a voice-over. This observation should, of course, send her screaming into the street, but it doesn't. We find her sitting on the Stool again, asking, "How does he do it? In my life, a third date usually turns into some sort of twelve-step meeting -- lots of purging and confessing. Which, in exactly three more dates, turns in on itself and sends both parties running in horror."