Gabe and Erin are having a Glee viewing party at his house. Everyone's invited, and Michael is excited to come until he gets wind that some people consider Gabe the boss now. So he ends up trying to take control of the party, and when that doesn't work, he sabotages it so that he can be the one to save it.
But as much as Michael hates the idea of Gabe being the boss, Andy hates the idea of his being Erin's boyfriend even more. In a fit of insecurity, he imbibes a bunch of Gabe's Japanese virility drugs, which make him briefly high and then spectacularly sick.
Cece's sleep cycle is all messed up, and Pam's so desperate that when Dwight proves able to calm the baby to sleep, she's willing to do anything to make it continue. That includes insisting Jim submit to Dwight's degrading whims, and agreeing to be the one to tell Angela that the contractually obligated sex she was going to have with Dwight will have to be postponed for a night.
When Erin busts Michael trying to undo the damage he caused, he realizes why it's so important to her that he like Gabe. And then he deals with it in the dorkiest, most inappropriate manner possible. Fortunately it works, because it's Erin.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see why Jim and Pam are perfect for each other!
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Gabe enters the office to find it abandoned, because everyone's watching live TV coverage of the police surrounding an apartment complex where the Scranton Strangler is believed to be holed up. Oh, thank God, is that finally going to be over? Jim talking-heads that "some events are so newsworthy...that you have to stop everything to watch. Balloon Boy, Michael Jackson's funeral... Things that, if you didn't see them live, you wouldn't care that you didn't see them at all." Hole in one. Soon it's not a standoff but a car chase, and Michael -- and everyone else -- is way too excited when the pursuit goes past their building. In fact, he goes out and collects some gravel from the street where the Scranton Strangler drove, so he can one day tell his grandchild," You go sell these and buy yourself a nice spaceship."
Erin tries to invite Michael to a Glee viewing party at Gabe's apartment, but he's making a big act out of playing the busy boss for some reason. Erin's nearly in tears until Michael reveals that he's kidding, being a huge Gleek whose favorite character is "the invalid." Erin THs that Michael and Gabe could make a great mash-up, like the ones they're always doing on Glee. "Gay-Mike,'" she dubs it. Erin invites Kelly, who claims to hate the show with such vehemence and knowledgeable detail that it's obvious she's a bigger fan than anyone.
In the kitchen, Angela and Dwight are debating going, and Dwight thinks glee is a stupid feeling to make a show about in the first place. "Thirst, now that's a show I'd watch." Angela agrees, and Dwight says it might be a convenient evening for them to have some intercourse. Meanwhile, Erin invites Andy, and he accepts, dorkily.
Later, in the crowded kitchen, Kevin remarks to Michael, "You gotta go to the boss's party, right?" Michael points out that Gabe is not the boss, and asks Kevin why he said it. "Cause you're the boss," Kevin says, walking it back with as much nimbleness as he can manage. Michael turns around to ask everyone else what they think, but they've all vanished like Mr. Roarke. Looks like Michael has his answer.
That night, when Michael shows up at the party (100% turnout as always, except for Danny), Gabe's apartment's fairly nice, if not showy. Michael's still intimidated by everything, including the big wineglasses and the make-your-own-pizza bar set up for the party ,which Gabe explains to him in the most twee fashion imaginable. "I just have a different lifestyle," Michael THs, talking about his evenings with a bag of microwave-steamed vegetables, sangria, and TV. I'm just impressed that Michael eats vegetables. He gives the pizza-making a go, though, insisting on tossing his crust in the air until it ends up getting bapped across the kitchen by the ceiling fan.
Gabe shows Jim and Pam his Japanese-themed "man-cave," complete with the keyboard synthesizer that he uses to "create soundscapes." Pam's distracted by Cece's waking up. Apparently the baby is reverse cycling, which means she's up all night and sleeps all day, which means Pam's up all night and all day. Must be tough to be a single mom.
Erin runs around rounding everyone up to announce the start of the show. Not everyone is a longtime fan, to say the least. For example, Phyllis doesn't know who any of the characters are. "Which one's Glee?" she asks Kelly, who snaps, "You have to stop." Michael sits down at the couch and starts trying to assert his authority by taking over the volume control. And when Gabe doesn't let him, he announces that the real Glee fans are heading into the bedroom to watch in there, "where we can crank it." Now who's the boss?
Even with Michael out of the room, there's still some sniping between Oscar and Kelly, who are probably the two biggest fans in attendance. And there are now a total of three people in the back bedroom, if you count the baby Pam's holding. She gently invites Michael to go back out to the living room and take her seat -- obviously because she wants to keep Cece asleep in this room. Why are she and Jim even here at all? Whatever happened to Cece getting him out of everything? Oblivious to Pam's issues, Michael tells her, "I have a loaded gun in my desk at work. And if I ever start acting like that weenie Gabe, I want you to take that gun and I want you to shoot me like a hundred times in the groin until I'm dead, okay?" Pam's a little surprised to hear that, particularly the part about the gun in Michael's desk. I think we all are.
Ryan is impressed by the contents of Gabe's man-cave, which includes a 1970s stereo, Japanese virility herbs (including powdered seahorse), and samurai woodcuts. Andy's going quietly crazy, probably not only because he's so insecure about Erin's boyfriend but because Ryan is never impressed by anything.
In the back bedroom, Michael's going on about the various curses that have befallen people who have tried to be his boss before, still oblivious to Pam and her crying baby. Dwight comes in with a tattletale list of people who didn't follow Michael on his walk-out, and asks Pam, "Are you going to quiet that baby, or do I have to?" Pam gives him a hateful look, like the quieting is going to be something that scars Cece for life, but Dwight simply picks Cece up, sits her down, and calms her almost immediately, explaining that in the Shrute family the youngest children raise the others. "I've been raising children since I was a baby, "he says.
Darryl has joined Andy in the man-cave, and offers some encouraging words in response to Andy's black hole of emotional need: "All I know is if I was a girl and I had to choose between a tall dude who loved Asia and a you-looking dude who loves...sweaters, and wearing sweaters, I'd choose you." Andy thanks Darryl. "And I'd blow your mind, "Darryl adds, deadpan. He leaves Andy to it, "it" being dumping some of Gabe's virility herbs into his wineglass.
Jim's checking the sports scores during a commercial break, but when he goes back, the show's already in progress again. Oops, they were watching it on DVR delay, and Erin wonders why she should have been recording it. "Right now's why, Erin! We're living it!" Oscar wails. Kelly, presumably checking her Twitter feed on her phone, announces, "They did 'Blinded by the Light,' and they did it with an actual blind guy. Was it worth it, Jim?!" Jim wisely bails on this madness.
Dwight gives Pam some advice: get a lump of suet out of Gabe's fridge, tie a string to it with the other end tied to Cece's toe, stick the suet in Cece's mouth, and she'll be happy all night. Pam's too sleep-deprived to offer any response to that beyond weakly saying, "I kind of doubt Gabe has suet." Even to make pizzas with? Nothing like a sausage-and-suet on a thick crust "Well, then, here we are," Dwight says, still holding a comatose Cece. Erin comes in to ask Michael to help Gabe with the pigs in a blanket, and Michael gets up to go.
Andy comes in, way too charming toward Phyllis, and then excitedly THs, "I just ate an entire seahorse!" He's so giddy that he makes a horse noise, and then remembers to add some bubble noises at the end.
In the kitchen, Gabe invites Michael to wash his hands, but Michael just stands there. Michael notices that the dough is from the pizza crust, making them not pigs in a blanket but pizza dogs. Erin's still trying to make peace between them, pointing out that Gabe was born in 1982, the longest baby in the hospital. "He's the longest baby in this room," Michael quips. Gabe says Michael's making it harder than it has to be, opening himself up to Michael's shattering exit line: "That's what she said." And with that Michael storms out again, but this time clear out of the apartment.
Jim has found Pam, Dwight and Cece in the bedroom. How the hell long is Gabe's hallway, anyway? Angela ducks in just long enough to whisper into Dwight's ear, "Outside, my car, two minutes." Dwight gets up to hand the baby back to Pam, who pleads with him to stay so Cece will continue sleeping, appealing to their special friendship and reminding him of his concussion. Dwight reminds her, "You married my worst enemy." Jim prefers to think of their relationship as "a charming back-and-forth," but Dwight sits down, saying, "I will require beer and pizza to think this over." From Jim, that is.
Michael's now outside, opening up a utility box outside the building. So this is how Steve Carell goes out, by electrocuting himself? Inside, just as Mr. Schue's just about to announce some winner of something, the screen goes snowy. "Aaaah, what's going on?!" Kelly shrieks.
Andy, looking a little shaky, asks if Creed can read Chinese, and shows him the label of the seahorse container. Creed happily reads it out loud, in Chinese. No wiser, Andy finds Erin and flirts as well as he can, considering he's also putting everything he has into not to throwing up. Ed Helms is killing it with this.
Dwight wants Jim to hand-feed him his pizza, crust-first. Jim does, hating it. "Beer me, Jim," Dwight whispers. Jim beers him. "Now I'm gonna go meet Angela," Dwight says. Pam wonders if there's some way out of Dwight's contractually obligated intercourse, and Dwight suggests Jim go in his place. "You been with a blonde before? It's the big leagues." Jim starts to reach for Cece, but Pam's going out to talk to Angela, despite Dwight's warnings that she's in heat and will eat Pam's face off. "The reverse cycling ends tonight," Pam insists. Exit Pam. Enter Kevin, who climbs into bed with his plate of snacks. "I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket in a blanket," he whispers.
Speaking of pigs and blankets, Andy throws up on a spare bed and covers it with a pillow. Phyllis comes in, quite sympathetic to Andy's emotional pain. Andy wonders whether Erin and Gabe have ever Done It. "Girls tell each other things, right?" he fishes. Phyllis agrees to see what she can find out.
Michael returns to the party, pretending he just went for a walk and acting all surprised that the cable's out. Creed gets off his phone with one of his sources to report, "Puck and Finn worked it out and the solo is now a duet." Michael offers to try something, and leaves the room with sincere wishes of Godspeed from everyone.
Phyllis tries to fish for information on Erin and Gabe's relationship, freaking Erin out more than she already was.
Outside, Pam knocks on Angela's car window, and finds her waiting naked in the backseat. Angela agrees to postpone it for another night, but wants to know how Dwight seemed. Pam starts a whole speech, but Angela snaps, "Just save it," and rolls up the window.
Erin busts Michael outside, and as dim as she is she's able to figure out that he cut the cable. Obviously she's upset, but what upsets her most is the fact that Michael refuses to like Gabe. "He's a weird little skeevy guy with no waist," Michael explains, and wonders why she even cares if he likes him; "I'm not your father." Erin's only response to that is such a long, hurt pause that even Michael realizes he's touched a nerve. But fortunately, before this can veer into an exploration of Erin's deprived upbringing in The Foster Home, Michael tells her to go to her room. And that's all it takes to fix it, as they head on inside, riffing on the theme like the dorks they are.
Inside ,as everyone's leaving, Michael's not just kidding any more; he tells Gabe, "If you break that girl's heart, I will kill you." But of course that's just a figure of speech, so Michael clarifies, "If you break that girls' heart, I will literally kill you and your entire family." Good of him to clear that up.
Gabe is being all supportive as Andy kneels over his toilet, even as Andy confesses to having eaten four or five powdered seahorses. Gabe says he has "just the thing," and gets his keyboard. "This one's called "Earthrise on the Moon," he says, and begins playing. 'That's so beautiful," Andy moans. We'll see if Gabe is still so solicitous after he finds the half-digested seahorse powder in his spare bed.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see why Jim and Pam are perfect for each other!
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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, follow him on Twitter, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.