After the excellent Halloween costume-filled teaser, it's like three B-plots this week, which I think will be reflected in my episode grade.
First of all, Holly has been summarily transferred to the Nashua branch for dating Michael. The eight-hour drive to move her there is more than long enough for the excitement of the road trip to deteriorate into despair for Holly about their chances as a long-distance couple. Michael at first takes this with his usual grace, which is to say none. But he eventually manages to say goodbye to Holly like a man, and singing the blues with Darryl on the long, lonely drive back to Scranton seems to help him. It's not working for me, though. I'm going to miss that dorky HR chick.
Jim's also on the road, meeting Pam and his two brothers in New York for lunch. The other two Halperts decide to prank Jim by "pretending" to make fun of Pam's career ambitions. Jim is not amused. Which would be fine, but neither am I.
That leaves Dwight to hold things down both at the office and on the comedy front, as he takes on the Andy-irking project of becoming a Cornell man. Andy tries to turn the tables on him, but Dwight turns them right back, literally. So look out, Dartmouth.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then read Michael Scott's evaluations of his employees!
Oh, my good God, it's Halloween at Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Stanley's napping under rubber a Creature from the Black Lagoon mask, and Kelly asks Phyllis (ask Raggedy Ann) to walk her to the fax machine because she's tottering dangerously on her Carrie Bradshaw heels. Ryan comes over to lend a hand as Gordon Gekko (a bit on the nose, there, Ryan). "Oh, from the insurance commercials," Kelly chirps. Suddenly a completely dead-on Dark Knight Joker stalks in. "Whoa, awesome!" says Oscar from behind his Uncle Sam hat and beard."Let's put a smile on that face!" Creed hisses, terrifyingly in character. Either as himself or as the Joker, it doesn't really matter. Kevin indignantly stands up in his own poor version of Joker makeup and protests, "Dammit, Creed! I've been up since four!" Andy struts up to Jim (who's sporting a "Dave" nametag sticker as his costume, because a Jim costume is nothing if not low-impact) in a head-to-toe Cats getup. "We were looking for kitten," he corrects Jim. Well, I'm sure Angela likes it. Long, awkward pause, which is thankfully broken by Pam calling from Corporate in New York. "My costume's getting a lot of attention," she says from inside a Charlie Chaplin outfit. The camera pulls back to show she's the only one at the office who's wearing a costume. Yeah, apparently they don't do that there. "I can't even take off my hat," she THs, "because then I'm Hitler."
And Dwight walks into the lobby and gets on the elevator in his own perfect Joker costume (aside from his glasses), delivering his own Joker tagline. The effect is kind of spoiled when the elevator door closes on him prematurely, but he doesn't seem to mind.
Holly and Michael are prepping for a seven-hour road trip, because she's apparently been transferred back to her old branch in Nashua. Yeah, David Wallace didn't waste any time when he found out she was dating Michael, apparently. While waiting for Darryl to drive them out in the warehouse truck piled high with Holly's stuff, they goof off dorkily with the CB radio, until Darryl snaps at them not to touch it. In a TH, Holly says it's been a weird week; when they learned about the transfer, she and Michael spent about ten seconds arguing like seven-year-olds about quitting DM and getting jobs in each other's respective cities, then never brought it up again. Apparently the well-known debating technique known as "jinx" figured prominently. Well, that certainly sounds like a good sign.
Michael takes his leave from the bullpen, and Jim offers to walk him out. That's because, as he takes absolutely no pains to hide from Michael, he's heading out himself, to meet Pam and his brothers for an engagement celebration. "To celebrate the engagement, or maybe to beat me up." Jim tells the camera. "You can never tell with those two." Jim's been spending a surprisingly large amount of time worrying about getting beat up the last couple of weeks, hasn't he?
Dwight walks into the office a little late. "Decided to go casual today," he tells Ryan behind the reception desk. That's his explanation for what he's wearing today: a Cornell sweatshirt. So we're about to see two aspects of Andy's personality fight it out: his Cornell grad side, and his anger-management training grad side. This should be good. Dwight flashes his Cornell-ized chest around, all faux-casual, almost as though he's purposely trying to get on Andy's nerves. Which of course he is, which of course works. "Take that sweatshirt off!" Andy grits, then acts like he was kidding while attempting to play it cool about how "some people" think that people who aren't Cornell men shouldn't wear them. Dwight assures Andy that he doesn't intend any disrespect; in fact he plans to become a Cornell man himself, and is applying for admission. Andy doubts Dwight will be successful. "If somebody who barely outsells Phyllis can get in, I think I can manage," Dwight says, even managing to smoothly play it off when Phyllis reminds him, "I'm sitting right here." Dwight does a TH in which he sincerely insists that he's pursuing a higher education in order to better himself. "And if it makes Andy angry, so be it." Fully aware that Andy is visible behind him through the conference room window, seething, Dwight raises his new Cornell coffee mug in salute.
As Darryl drives Michael and Holly and Holly's stuff out of Scranton, he asks if Michael is planning to make this drive every weekend. Michael breezily says they'll take turns, meet in the middle, yada yada. Michael's got his road trip mix CD playing. "Life is a Highway" starts, and they all sing along. Even Darryl, who has probably decided that seven hours in the front seat of a truck with two other people is a long time to be surly. Even if Google maps does tell me it's more like five.
In the kitchen, Dwight messes with Andy some more, insisting on referring to Cornell as "we," to which Andy suddenly remembers to take great offense. Dwight just chuckles about the great times they'll have together in Comstock Hall one day, clinking his drink against Andy's mug. Andy dumps his coffee in the sink, making a mental note to burn down Comstock Hall at his very opportunity.
Pam has asked Jim's brothers to meet her at the restaurant early so they can help her play a prank on Jim. She is even deluding herself, at unusual length, that they'll think she is awesome. Her idea? She'll pretend to have lost her ring at school. They like the idea of pranking Jim, but want to do it a little differently. Specifically, they'll make fun of Pam for being a poor artist instead. "They came up with that idea really fast," Pam THs, a little nervously.
The road trip is getting a little long, to the point that Michael has apparently dozed off. Not that we would know this, until Michael wakes up screaming from a nightmare. Even Holly is surprised, since he was talking before. "Was I saying anything interesting?" Michael asks. "Not really," Darryl says, because why should it be any different when he's asleep? Since they're almost at the halfway point, four hours in, Michael suggests getting off the road to look for a bed and breakfast for when he and Holly meet in the middle. exit: five miles. Holly's down with that, and in fact seems surprisingly invested in the idea.
Jim arrives at lunch, and his brothers come in and pretend (badly) not to have seen Pam for a while. I don't know where Jim learned his pranking skills, but it clearly wasn't at home.
Darryl has pulled the truck to the side of the road, while Michael wanders along the shoulder, staring into the empty woods and imagining a hotel there, like he's going to build it himself. Once they're back in the truck, and into the fourth listen of "Life Is a Highway," Holly starts crying, although she denies it. She also denies having allergies. "Did Darryl touch you?" Michael asks quietly. Holly denies that too, but keeps crying. And Michael's going to be crying in a minute too, if he doesn't apologize to Darryl.
Later, Darryl has stopped for gas. While he's out filling the tank, Holly is breaking the news to Michael: the distance is too much, considering they've only been dating a few weeks. Michael isn't ready to let it go, but she's pretty insistent. "Don't make this harder," she asks him. Michael: "That's what she said." He THs that he's not going to go down without a fight. A whiny, needy, clingy, miserable, pathetic fight.
Dwight amps up the anti-Andy campaign with a big Cornell banner over his desk, and a bobblehead Big Red Cornell mascot, which sends Andy storming out of the bullpen while Dwight, zenlike, ignores him in favor of trying to synchronize the movement of Big Red's bobblehead with that of his own plastic effigy. Lest we forget that this is all about Angela, she has been watching this psychological skirmish with a conflicted expression on her face.
Back on the road, Holly is still trying to explain to Michael why it isn't going to work, but he's still putting up a fight. Until he abruptly says, "I want you to meet a great guy and I want you to be happy." She thanks him and kisses him on the cheek. Of course Michael meant for that great guy to be himself, because Holly is already happy with him. "Clever, Mike," Darryl whispers.
Jim's brothers are making fun of Pam for trying to pursue a career in the arts. He speaks up in her defense, but when she backs them up, he looks at the camera in confusion. That's literally all that happens.
In the truck, Michael is getting into that pathetic begging and crying stage. This is so intolerable to Darryl that he desperately pulls out his cell phone and trying to reach Kelly so she can occupy him with one of her stories. "Please call me back," he begs her voice mail. "Please." Michael wails at Holly, "I'll go back to Jan! And I hate Jan!"
Andy waits for Dwight outside the bathroom (getting Stanley at first instead). When Dwight comes out, he asks Andy which a capella group he should join when he gets to Cornell. Nice touch, that. Andy informs Dwight that it's moot, since he called Cornell admissions and thus will be conducting Dwight's interview. Dwight either believes him or plays along as though he does, calling it a conflict of interest. Andy readily agrees that it is. "So should I not let you in now or should we do the interview?" Dwight opts for the interview. Andy names the conference room at 3:00, although he tries to do it like a Shakespeare character and comes off just looking like an idiot. Who went to Cornell.
In the conference room, Andy asks Dwight about his role models, which are Dane Cook, Jack Bauer, and Eli Whitney. "You're doing great," Andy smarms at him from behind the conference table that he has appropriated as an interviewer's desk.
A surly silence now prevails in the truck to Nashua, especially when Michael turns off the Tom Cochrane at last. Life is now a speed bump.
Jim's brothers keep pushing on the subject of Pam's unrealistic goals, until finally Pam gets sick of it and speaks up in her own defense. At last the brothers give up the "pretense," and crack up, even though nothing funny has happened in this restaurant in the entire episode. Jim still doesn't get it. "Got you," Pam tells him, joylessly.
Back in the conference room, Dwight is seeing and raising Andy's bluff by writing down his own evaluation of the interviewer. It turns into a duel of putdowns, which include Andy describing the applicant as having a head shaped like a trapezoid. They end up talking over each other, but Dwight wins on two fronts: first by announcing he's forsaking Cornell for the highly superior Dartmouth, and second by pulling the table towards him so he's the one behind it (which Andy tries and fails to stop) and dismissing Andy, completely reversing the power dynamic. Or, he would be, if any of this were real.
Michael is helping Darryl move Holly's stuff into her new house. Barely. I assume Darryl is getting paid for this. Handsomely.
Walking away from the restaurant, Pam tells Jim what her own plan to prank him was going to be. "Anything would have been better than that," Jim says. He gets a text from one of his brothers: "Pam cool. Welcome 2 the family." At least I assume it's a "2;" even though we can't see the message, Jim's brothers are probably tools enough to even use Prince-speak in business letters. Pam suggests that time they prank Jim's brother about being bald. Funny, but too little too late.
Darryl brings Michael his weekend bag, but Michael tells him to put it back in the truck. And he says goodbye to Holly, and rides back to Scranton with Darryl. Which just proves that Holly is too good for Michael; if their positions were reversed, I suspect Michael would never have broken up with her before she helped him unpack.
On the way back, Darryl takes pity on Michael. He says he knows it's hard, and offers to sing the blues with Michael. Michael joins in even though he doesn't really get it, but since it seems to be helping, Darryl quickly gives up on setting him straight. Looks like it's going to be white-man blues all the way back to Scranton.
Tag: Andy walks into the office in overalls and no shirt, with a straw hat and a big ol' crate of raw beets, one of which he tosses to Dwight. "I see what you are doing, but I do not know where you're going with this," Dwight remarks calmly. Andy vows, "Oh, you will," and attempts to take a bite out of what he claims is a product of Bernard Beet Farm. It doesn't go well. "You're supposed to cook these, aren't you?" he asks. "Cornell," Dwight scoffs, and sinks his teeth into the one Andy just tossed him. Advantage: Schrute, Schrute, and Schrute.
And also Schrute.
Discuss this episode in our forums, then read Michael Scott's evaluations of his employees!
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.