Sandy runs into the kitchen, wondering where his "lucky tie" is. Kirsten produces it, saying that she just had it dry-cleaned. And then proceeded to fling it around a dirty kitchen counter. Nice one, Domestic Goddess. Sandy's got a big day at the office coming up: he's giving a proposal for a new hospital project, and he really wants the NewNewport Group to get the contract. Seth wanders in, looking gloomy. It does not go unnoticed, and he tells the group that he has been scheduled for an interview with Brown on Sunday. Now, when I applied to colleges about fifty years ago, I just scheduled an interview along with submitting my application. These days, however, it appears that colleges decide whose applications they like and then call those kids in for interviews. So it's a big deal and a good sign for Seth's Brown chances. Ryan volunteers to help Seth prepare, while the rest of his family members leave to do the more important things in their lives. Ryan asks Seth again if he's all right, and Seth says he's been waiting to leave Newport his whole life, and now that his dream is actually becoming real, his head is spinning. So much so that he pours coffee into his Mini-Wheats, a sure sign of distraction. "Newport, I hardly knew you," Seth says. "Go away," Newport replies. Newport is mean.
At school, Summer finds Seth in the hall. She's thrilled that she, too, has been called in for an interview. She's not feeling any of the anxiety that Seth is, since her "boot camp" instructor inspired her to take control of the changes in her life. When did Summer go to boot camp? Did she join the ROTC while we were all forced to watch Johnny and Marissa?
Sandy bores us to tears with his hospital proposal. Even the members of the hospital association he's pitching to seem bored as they rudely check their watches and consume bagels. Honestly, I'd almost rather have the screen monopolized by Marissa if this is all there is to see of the other characters. The head of the association is played by the same guy who played the Holo-Doctor on Star Trek: Voyager, which I don't know since I've never watched that show and am certainly not a Star Trek geek. I'm really, really cool, guys. Holodoc gets up to leave, complimenting Sandy and Matt on their presentation and letting his regret over Caleb's absence be known. Caleb died, like, LAST YEAR, dude. Get over it. Or go to the holodeck and make another one and talk to him. The association members leave to go to their meeting, a hospital pitch from NewNewport Group's rival firm. Matt informs Sandy that the rival group has been wooing the hospital association with gifts and dinners for months; Matt thinks that that will give their rivals the edge. Sandy says he told himself he wouldn't be a businessman who bribes clients. "And I respect that," says Matt, who totally doesn't.
“ 'What are we doing here?' Johnny asks, like, what did you think Kaitlin was trying to do when she grabbed your hand and led you into the house, up the stairs, walking a total of a mile or however big that huge-ass house is into a BEDROOM? ”
Tons of kids turn up for the party of a girl they don't even know or, at best, haven't seen in over two years. Kaitlin spends her time with Johnny, and Marissa stews. She's relieved when Summer and Ryan show up. Dr. Neil calls Summer over to ask her about her interview and pretend to be a parent while Ryan takes a seat to his girlfriend, who's busy watching Johnny and Kaitlin walk into the house, hand-in-hand. Marissa complains that she doesn't want to get to know her sister after all, to which Ryan says he's got something to tell her about her sister that she'll really wish she didn't know.
Kaitlin brings Johnny into Summer's bedroom. "What are we doing here?" Johnny asks, like, what did you think Kaitlin was trying to do when she grabbed your hand and led you into the house, up the stairs, walking a total of a mile or however big that huge-ass house is into a BEDROOM? Kaitlin cheeses that she's "looking for [her] presents," adding, "I'm not fourteen anymore." Oh, what a difference a day makes (in Kaitlin's mind)! Johnny's still not going for it, but Kaitlin works her psychological (or maybe just "psycho") magic on him, saying that the only way he wouldn't be interested in her is if he's still in love with Marissa. Or maybe Johnny's not interested in her because she's an immature little brat. She gets a "birthday kiss" from Johnny, which isn't much of anything but keeps her satisfied enough to return to the party.
In the Roberts foyer, Ryan is trying to deter Marissa from finding Kaitlin to tear her a new, pot-supplying asshole when Seth arrives, fresh from the Brown interview that he insists he totally just went to. Kaitlin and Johnny come downstairs and see everyone, and Kaitlin announces that Johnny just gave her a present.
Matt's idea of showing a client a good time is to take him back to his apartment, fill it with some of his stripper girlfriends, and get the client wasted. Because nothing says "professional" like a lame house party. Holodoc seems to be having a great time, however, and refuses to hear any more from Sandy about business, saying that he didn't see a huge difference between the two proposals, and now that Sandy's "taken care" of Holodoc, he'll take care of Sandy. The NewNewport Group will get its hospital, and Holodoc is sure Caleb would have been proud. Sandy drinks and thinks about his latest moral dilemma.
Marissa runs after Kaitlin and Johnny as they try to leave the party. She tells Johnny to scram so that she can have a private talk with her younger sister. Johnny obliges her because he's a wimp who can't say no to anyone. Marissa asks her sister why she's stealing and smoking pot, and Kaitlin turns it right back around on Marissa, saying that it's obvious she has feelings for Johnny no matter how often she insists that she's in love with Ryan. The easily-sidetracked Marissa denies this, and Kaitlin says that, in that case, Marissa shouldn't mind that Kaitlin just "made out" with Johnny in Summer's bedroom. It wasn't much of a "make-out," and if Kaitlin really wanted to lie, she just should have said they had sex. "You may not know me, but I do know you," Kaitlin adds.