Last time on The O.C.: clips are shown in a backwards order that creates more confusion than it clears up. The White Sox won the World Series against the Astros. The Astros beat the Cardinals for the National League championship to advance to the World Series. The White Sox won the American League after beating the Angels.
The culinarily-ambitious Kirsten has whipped up a special surprise for breakfast: she hid the cereal and bagels, thereby forcing Ryan and Seth to eat the Eggs Benedict and [a bunch of French words] she has created. Seth's protests are silenced with a stern "sit," and then Sandy walks in, wondering what smells. Whatever he was about to qualify that verb with is changed to "fancy" once he notices that Kirsten's cooking is the kitchen culprit. I wonder what he was actually going to say. Could it be...dancey? It probably smells like that bulimic ballerina's barf. Sandy's cell phone rings, saving him from breakfast. It's Dr. Kim, apparently just getting off working the night shift at Harbor, since she obviously isn't running the place during the day. Sandy takes her call in another room, and Seth and Ryan go back to glaring at their breakfast. Kirsten points out that this is just the beginning of all the new things they'll be introduced to when they go to college year. "Yeah, horny co-eds and alcohol poisoning," Seth answers, because he apparently wants his parents to force him to attend a commuter school. "I just don't think they're gonna have French fusion on the menu." Please, like that fancy-pants private school Harbor doesn't serve that stuff already.
Sandy returns with an odd look on his face that Ryan takes to mean Dr. Kim won't let Ryan attend tonight's college fair. Actually, since the college fair is considered a public event that's just being hosted by a private school, Ryan can go. Seth and Ryan leave to get ready for school without even trying Kirsten's breakfast. That's really rude! Perhaps they're showing that they still have some lingering issues with Kirsten and her drinking problem by refusing to accept her rehab-learned attempts to cope with it? We'll never know, since this show has decided not to address those potentially interesting storylines in favor of showing us the Borg woman from Star Trek's attempt to pull off the stupidest con in the history of ever. Sandy tells Kirsten that Dean Evil is making it his "personal crusade" to make sure that Ryan doesn't get into any good colleges by attaching a note to his permanent record warning that Ryan is "pathologically violent." Sandy and Kirsten are both disgusted by this move, although, surprisingly, they aren't mad at Ryan -- who should have known something like this would happen when he punched out the school's Dean of Discipline -- but at Dean Evil himself.
“ Taylor Townsend's tackily bejeweled Sidekick is texting the message 'Lol U R SO NAWTY' to someone named 'Dartman 4 u.' Nice screen name, there, Dean Evil. Also, Taylor Townsend wouldn't last three minutes on the TWoP forums. ”
I fail to understand why this show insists on playing songs with words in them while its characters are speaking. It's, like, the #2 rule in radio broadcasting never to speak over the song's lyrics for a reason. This is especially apparent when the song is really good and I'd rather listen to it than to the show's characters, which is just about all the time on this show, thanks to the great music direction and the not-as-great writing. Summer and Marissa jostle for position in front of Summer's mirror to apply their makeup. Apparently, Summer's stepmother's wickedness extends to only allowing her self-absorbed daughter to keep one tiny mirror in their entire mansion. Torture! Marissa exposits that Summer must be getting sick of having to share space with her. Summer denies this, and invites Marissa to the college fair, but Marissa turns down the invitation, saying she really isn't thinking about college right now, what with all the other problems she has, like being "homeless, going to public school, and totally broke." Uh...one of those things is not as bad as the others, Marissa. Get some perspective, please.
Marissa's cell phone rings, thereby proving that she's quite as broke as she claims to be. It's Julie, lounging poolside. She tells Marissa that Kirsten has some fabulous beachside property to show her, so their homelessness shouldn't last too much longer. It seems like a gigantic waste of time to look at places to live without having the means to afford them first, but whatever, Julie. She assures Marissa that she has a plan, and hangs up. The camera pulls back to reveal that Julie is lounging by her seedy motel's disgusting pool. A police officer leads a handcuffed perp around Julie's chair, knocking into it. He apologizes, making him the most polite California cop I've ever seen. Meanwhile, Julie should really take a lesson on smart money management from the motel owner, who has cut down on his water bills by relying on his motel's occupants to keep the pool filled with a reliably steady stream of semen and piss.
Summer spies on Taylor Townsend, whose tackily bejeweled Sidekick is texting the message "Lol U R SO NAWTY" to someone named "Dartman 4 u." Nice screen name, there, Dean Evil. Also, Taylor Townsend wouldn't last three minutes on the TWoP forums. Seth tells Summer that he still doesn't believe her suspicions about Taylor Townsend and Dean Evil. He thinks Summer just saw what she wanted to see at the dance. Summer says there is no way Dean Evil and Taylor Townsend making out was something she wanted to see, and takes off to follow Taylor Townsend, who has to be more supportive than Summer's boyfriend.