We open with a shot of Marissa's tearful face during the closing credits of a movie. Considering that by the end of this episode, Lady Heather is poised to become Kirsten's potential new mother; Kirsten, Haley, and Marissa are soon-to-be sisters; Luke won't just have been sleeping with Marissa's mother, he'll also have been sleeping with Seth's new grandmother; and Marissa will be Ryan's potential new aunt, there's a lot more worth crying about her in her immediate future. And despite all the badness in her life, I still feel worse for me and you than for Marissa. Because the more miserable she is, the more miserable are we: subjected to infinite pretend crying scenes. And while no one can dispute that Mischa Barton looks particularly lovely while pretending to cry, that doesn't mean we enjoy suffering through the very worst of her bad acting every week. Then again, I'll take Mischa Barton being "sad" over Mischa Barton being "funny" any day. The camera zooms in on her teary face for a full ten seconds while the dramatic movie music swells. We pan back to see that Marissa, Ryan, and Summer are together at the theatre. Ryan looks concerned and asks if she's crying because of the movie; she warbles that she is, but claims to be "emotionally stable." Besides, she points out, she's not the only one crying. The camera moves over to reveal an equally tearful (and lovely, for that matter) Seth, who defends himself, "I'm allergic, okay? And there's so much pollen in here right now it's ridiculous!" Hee. He announces that they'll watch football tomorrow, and Summer points out that the season is five months away. He claims he meant old games on ESPN Classic, and I don't for a second believe that the character of Seth would have even heard of that channel, never mind that he would watch it. Unless they showed old chess matches or sailing regattas or something. Summer sweetly wipes the tears from Seth's eyes, and they're just so cute together! When Ryan proposes that they see a comedy time, Marissa insists that she's okay and can see sad movies. Unsurprisingly, it escapes her completely that he was talking about his own preferences as he tells her, "Yeah. I know you can." As Seth and Ryan rise from their seats, Seth insistently whispers to him over the girls' heads, "I'm sensitive!" Hee. We see that the credits are rolling over a background shot of Paris at night. I don't know what movie it is, but forum talk says the names on the credits are O.C. insiders, so it's a bit of an inside joke. Inside jokes on this show? Unheard of! And by "unheard of," I mean "totally and completely heard of."
As the group emerges from the theatre, they try to figure out what to do . Summer says they'll do whatever Marissa wants to do, and the others agree that of course it's all about that. Summer suggests that they have a mass sleepover, and what fifteen-year-old's parents let that happen? Please, please, please spare me your emails that your parents let you and little Joey from up the creek shack up. Because that's not normal. Seth adds that they can sleep in shifts: "That way, one of us will be up at all times." When Marissa asks, "Doing what?" Summer announces, "Whatever you need us to do!" Summer's hair is tied back Rhoda-style in a scarf, and it's quite fetching. But really, if she wore a Superfresh bag around her head, it would look quite fetching. Marissa insists that she's fine, and they all rush to ask why she wouldn't be. She spins to snit, "I don't know. Because the guy I lost my virginity to had sex with my mom?" A young couple walking into the movies hears this proclamation and turn to give Mischa Barton a dirty look, obviously pissed off because their own acting is way better than Mischa Barton's, but because they're not so pretty or thin, they don't get speaking parts and end up resigned to glowering in background shots. The male half of the couple has quite a glower on him, by the way. Marissa again insists that it's not a big deal; she suggests that they go to Java Juice. Happy for something to do, everyone agrees; a particularly enthusiastic Seth declares, "Oh, that's a great idea! I love juice!"
At the pier, Marissa and Ryan trudge along; Marissa holds a Balboa Bar, which she doesn't eat, but just waves around. She can't believe Luke and Lady Heather are still seeing each other, and Ryan reveals that he talked to Luke and they're not. She snits at the fact that Ryan and Seth are still hanging out with Luke, and Ryan explains that Luke wants to apologize to her. She examines the ice cream bar, all, "What is this block of cold something on a stick?" Clearly, she didn't buy it to eat, but to have something handy to hide behind the time she runs away. Marissa whines that while she can forgive Luke for assaulting our eyes with cheating on her, she can't forgive him for doing Lady Heather. She explains that she'd rather keep that part of her life separate from "this part of my life," and I'm not really sure where she's going with this statement unless it's a roundabout way of telling Ryan to butt out? He's using less hair product in this episode, and it's much more appealing. He asks, "You know what we haven't done in a while?" And she's all, "Talked about me and how beautiful and great and smart and popular I am, and how the fact that I talk like my mouth is full of sixty-five and a half marshmallow Peeps doesn't matter because I'm so very beautiful and great and smart and popular?" Actually, she doesn't say that, but we all know she's thinking it. Instead, they put forehead to forehead, nose to nose, hips to hips, and finally lips to lips. The camera pans back to show the abandoned ice cream bar lying on the pier.
Back in The Non-Beautiful Blue Bachelor Pad, we see that Summer has recruited Seth to help fix up Marissa's bedroom, except he misunderstands her intention and announces that while he's "all for getting it on in exotic locales," he's not sure about using Summer's best friend's bedroom. He comments on the disheveled state of the room, claiming to get, "like, a garage sale vibe" from it. Summer stiffly announces that "your external life influences your internal life," which she read in Elle Dcor. She suggests that this may be the reason for Marissa's depression, while Seth asks whether "a little feng shui" will really help Marissa forget that her mother fucked her ex-boyfriend. Seth starts to comment on the sweetness but impossibility of Summer's plan, then stops to note that if they put a mirror on the opposing wall, it would "open up the energy flow in this room." Summer announces that they should go to the hardware store, and Seth's all, "Whoa. Whoa, whoa. The hardware store with like the bolts and the grouting and the skill saws?" Summer juxtaposes Seth's dislike of hardware stores and crying in sad movies, then jokes, "The thing you're gonna tell me [is] you walk in on Ryan changing!" It's the first of several such jokes that fall flat in this episode. Seth scoffs that Summer's being crazy, and then suggests a trip to the hardware store. The lesson, ladies? Appeal to a man's homophobia and get your way!