VD Jessica distracts Nick for the day by

Kept Man - Jessica does a whirlwind world tour.of New York and Dallas, leaving Nick and Drew home to stand around being made to look bored and pointless by the whims of the Crack MTV Editing Squad, or "The Mole People," as they're sometimes known due to their aversion to sunlight and love of "wipe" jokes. Nick turns 30, and Jessica celebrates by dancing in front of all their friends in her panties, ordering him a cake shaped as a bottle of beer, and giving him a pimp watch worth more than her implants.