After an establishing shot of a cruise ship, we pan across a calm little bay and over to Jack and Marin -- the former doing some kind of science-y thing with shells, and the latter squatting on a rock, talking about her favourite subject: the marvel that is Marin. She's really excited about the book she's working on; it's not about finding a guy, but rather "finding yourself." Jack pretends to be interested, saying he can't wait to read it. She says it'll be a while. He hands her a white shell with a hole in the middle that's just the right size for Marin to wear as a bracelet. He tells her it's [incomprehensible Latin species name], and that it's the oldest shellfish on Earth; Jack just published a paper on it. Marin perks up at the news that Jack is a fellow writer. He tries to shrug it off as no big deal, because it's only in an academic journal, but Marin says it is a big deal, and congratulates him. A ship horn sounds, and Marin babbles that she'd love to go on a cruise, musing that it would be so soothing to be out on the open water, with an open bar. Jack takes this opportunity to bum her out by describing all the environmental devastation wrought by cruise ships (dumping sewage being the grossest), and tells her that there are better ways to enjoy the water -- like kayaking. Marin says she can't; Jack tells her it's easy; Marin pleads poor balance; Jack insists, saying they'll go the night, when the water's calmer. Marin says, "It's a date," and then spazzes out, backpedaling away from the "D" word. Jack quietly corrects her that it is a date, and Marin, looking pleased, somehow manages to calm the hell down.
Inn. Mai, in a skintight pink leather fur-trimmed jacket and matching skintight pink jeans (kudos to the costumers; she's a vision in Peep), bustles in and surprises Patrick by taking a super-close-up Polaroid; as he straightens up, she explains that she needs a shot of her new stepson for her wallet, which I guess is the size of a toaster if a Polaroid's going to fit in it. Anyway, Patrick brightens at the realization that he's Mai's stepson, and she excitedly explains that she's never been a stepmother before, but that she's rising to the challenge; she even took a quiz in Parenting magazine: "Only two wrong!" Mai also has a gift for him; she hands him a bag, and he pulls out Chinese Phrases For Dummies. "I don't think you're a dummy," Mai quickly explains, beaming. Patrick opens the accompanying card and reads, "Welcome to your interracial family!" Mai says that she marked some pages in the book: "To help you understand our people!" Patrick is thrilled to have "people." Hell, he's probably excited to have any family who aren't Celia. Mai goes on to say that she's making dumplings, and observes that Patrick has good hands for folding dough, "just like Uncle Wu!" She invites him to come help, and he giddily accepts. Mai extends the invitation to Annie as well, further widening the gap between Patrick's dour old mom and his welcoming, pink new one.
Radio station. Patrick does some cloying clowning about Marin "coming out of retirement" so that she can exposit that she's been off from her show for a week working on her book. Once she's settled in with her cans on, she gets her first call: James wants to go out with this girl he works with at the cannery, but she asked him out before he could ask her, and he turned her down and now doesn't know what to do. Marin chaffs him for his retrograde attitude, reminding her male listeners that it's the twenty-first century, and reverting to her old car analogy by saying that if guys aren't going to drive, they have to let women take the wheel, or they won't get anywhere. She ends with the obligatory episode-defining thesis question: "Does it really upset the balance of a relationship if you let a woman take charge?" Seems to me like every relationship in Elmo would have to be dictated by the woman, given that all the women in town could fit in a mini-van with seatbelts to spare.
Speaking of a woman in charge: Jane's back in Elmo, ball-breaking her way up the sidewalk, muttering under her breath at the men moving too slowly for her. Marin manages to stop Jane when she blows right past Marin. They hug, and Marin asks why she's there: "Did someone die?" "Someone's career almost did," says Jane smugly, "but it's breathing now!" Jane holds up the magazine in her hand, and Marin gasps that it's The New Yorker: "You travelled four thousand miles just to bring me decent reading material? You'd better have In Touch, too." Jane says she flew all that way because she read Marin's first book chapter, and that it's Marin's best work yet: "I'm not the only one who thinks so." She flips open the magazine, revealing that, however implausibly, Marin's chapter's been published in the issue. Marin's shocked to see it, and gasps that it was just a first draft, and wasn't even polished. Jane says that her first draft was good enough for publication (also implausible, though I guess Jane could have edited it). Marin is still freaking out to be in The New Yorker, something she's always wanted, and Jane says that Marin had better thank her now, because she won't have time later given the nine publishers she's scheduled to meet with week. Okay, I really hate to keep harping on this, but if Jane were Marin's editor, she wouldn't be introducing her to publishers, because Jane would work for a publisher. I just don't understand why they don't call Jane Marin's agent when everything she does -- including placing excerpts in magazines -- is agent's work, but ANYWAY, Marin is gobsmacked to have attracted so much interest, and leans against a telephone pole to look more closely at the story, reading, "'The ...Menaissance'?" Jane crows that she came up with the title during an oxygen facial. Marin doesn't know what the hell it means, and Jane explains, "It's the return of the real man. A movement! Forget metrosexuals -- think retrosexuals. Women want a real man, and that's what you wrote about!" Marin shrugs that she didn't write about a movement, and then freaks out as she remembers that the first chapter of her book was all about Jack, and that she didn't even change his name yet. Jane doesn't care, and says he'll just be thrilled for Marin when he finds out she's been published in The New Yorker: "That's if he ever sees it. This is Elmo. Who here possibly reads The New Yorker?" Marin lets out a little Mean Girls giggle, because now that she's in The New Yorker, she's back to thinking of Elmo as a crappy little backwater burg that's beneath her station instead of the new home she loves. Shut up, Marin.
Chieftain. A couple of overly done-up chippies, each clutching Marin's New Yorker, geek up to the bar, asking if Jack really lives there. Ben, nonplussed, points him out, sitting right beside them, and as the gals give him a predatory stare, Jack politely asks if he knows them. They introduce themselves: the blonde one's Cheryl, and the brunette's Meryl. They wave off a joke about their rhyming names before anyone cares to make one, and explain that they're from New York (as if we couldn't tell as soon as they opened their mouths and the Massapequa phone book fell out); they came up on a cruise. Meryl says, "We just read your article." Jack thinks they read his journal article, and Cheryl's like, "So cute!" They explain that Marin wrote the article, about him. Jack's face falls. Meryl says that they know Jack isn't "Mr. Chatty Cathy," but that they'd like to buy him a drink. Jack, shutting down, says that he isn't interested, and Meryl sagely nods: "Because of Lynn." "What?" asks Jack sharply. Cheryl: "We know. You're wounded." "Tattoo," whispers Meryl, tapping her arm. Without a word, Jack gathers his things and stomps out, slamming the door on his way. Meryl and Cheryl at least get a look at his ass before he's gone, so the trip wasn't a total waste.
After the credits, Marin bustles into Jack's/Celia's, asking Annie whether Jack's there. Annie says he isn't, and that she'll be closing up early because now Patrick has a stepmom Annie has to impress: "When will it end?" Marin pays the tokenest of token attention to Annie's situation until Annie can bring the subject back around to Marin, whereupon she tells Annie about The New Yorker. Annie hugs her, saying that it's huge, and Marin says that she wanted to tell Jack about it, so Annie should tell him if she sees him. Annie notices the shell on Marin's wrist, identifying the species by name, and when Marin cracks on her for knowing something Marin doesn't, Annie explains that she just read Jack's article in Shellfish Monthly. Marin asks to borrow the issue, and books. Annie's like, "Oh, that's fine -- I'm done talking about my relationship with Patrick and his new family, go ahead." Or, she should. In actuality, she's apparently fine being in a one-way friendship with Marin.
Chieftain, at night. Jane and Marin toast to guess who. Marin excitedly says that this might be the greatest thing that's ever happened to her, and that it's all because of Jane. Tartly, Jane replies that if Marin can hook her up with one of the real men she wrote about, they can call it even. Marin laughs her off, but Jane says she's serious, and hasn't had a date in a while. Jerome, totally eavesdropping, offers himself: "Might have some mileage on me, but the engine's still good." Jane tightly says that she doesn't drive, but turning around at least puts her in the eyeline of Sam (Ty Olsson), a.k.a. Plow Guy, who waves shyly. Marin and Jane are just agreeing that he's "so cute" when up roll Cheryl and Meryl, New Yorkers in hand. They say that they just read Marin's article, and Jane gasps, "See? People are loving it!" The girls introduce themselves and say that they brought the magazine to read on their singles cruise, The S.S. Mantasy. "Ironic, because there were no men to see -- well, no real men," says Meryl. So they took a detour to Elmo. Meryl enthuses that there are so many men there, she thinks she just ovulated. Jane chokes on her martini at the thought of what might be going on in Meryl's fallopian tubes. Cheryl hands over her issue for Marin to sign, and as she fumbles for a pen, Marin says she can't believe they came all that way to see her. Cheryl says that they actually came to see Jack, and Meryl coos that he's even better-looking than they thought he'd be. Marin's like, "Jigga-what?" She can't believe they met Jack. Cheryl agrees with Marin's assessment: "Not a talker." Marin, flustered, says that this is happening backwards, and gets up, telling Jane she needs to go talk to Jack. Cheryl tries to call her back for an autograph. Girl, please -- you know the autograph you really want comes from a hand a lot hairier than Marin's.
At Mai's, it's dumpling time. She demos the proper technique, and Annie takes to it with blistering speed, explaining sheepishly that she used to assemble Twinkies at the Hostess plant. Mai says she likes Annie: "You remind me of me. Smart. And you know how to use a curling iron." Annie preens at Mai's praise. Mai says that she always wanted to have kids with Buzz, since she's very maternal. Patrick, smiling quietly, says that now Mai has him. Mai agrees, but says that Patrick already has another mother, and Mai doesn't like sharing. Patrick says that Celia's his mom, but Mai's his "mom-Mai." Annie squeals her approval of the coinage, and Mai likes it too. You know what I like? Dumplings. Mai's recipe looks porkalicious.
Out in his yard, Jack burns garbage. The reflection of the flames in the oil drum he's using make his face look even more scarily enraged. Marin shows up and, seeing him, doesn't bother beating around the bush, saying she knows he heard about the article. Jack, not looking at her, gruffs, "I met your friends." Marin, already getting flustered, says that they're not her friends: "I don't even know them!" Jack: "Yeah. I know what that's like." Ooooh. He fights like a girl -- MEAN. Marin says she knows he's mad, but that she swears she didn't know Jane was sending out the chapter: "I was going to change your name." "When?" asks Jack. "When the book came out!" says Marin, flapping her hands. "In two years, or five, or whenever I got lucky!" "Oh, then you'd be long gone by then, right?" says Jack. Marin quietly says that Jack knew she was writing a book. Jack says he didn't know it was about him. Marin says that it isn't just about him: "It's about men, and life, and Elmo." "And Lynn," says Jack, cuttingly. "And my tattoo. I can't believe you. Were you even going to tell me?" Marin says she was. Jack asks when, again, and Marin says that he's a writer, and writes about those crazy old shellfish (I'm paraphrasing). She trails off, lamely, saying she knows it's not the same. Jack, getting in Marin's face a little, says he thought they were friends. Marin squeaks that they were friends -- are friends. "No," says Jack, gravely shaking his head. "Friends, you can trust. You talk to them about things that matter, and you know they're listening because they care, not because it makes a good article." Marin stares at him in shock. "I'm not your friend," says Jack. "I'm a subject." Marin, her voice breaking, asks whether he even read the article, but Jack haughtily says that he doesn't need to. "Please," says Marin, holding out the issue. "Just read it." Jack theatrically takes the magazine from her and drops it in the fire before stomping off. Boy, for someone who's supposed to be an old-style man's man, he sure is a drama queen.
Chieftain. The members of the Algonquin Round Table are discussing Marin's article, Jerome explaining that it's what happens to women when they get older. Carl knowingly says that his mom just went through the menaissance. Ben says that they're thinking of menopause. Jerome doesn't care what it is, as long as it got Cheryl and Meryl out on the town. Some other guy says that "menaissance" sounds like the sauce they dip trout in, and Jane snits that it isn't a condiment. She explains that it's a movement -- that women want a man who takes charge. As Sam rolls up, beer in hand, Jane adds that today's woman wants a man who has brawn and brains. "And a Bentley, if possible," adds Cheryl; Meryl drinks to that. "I drive a plow," says Sam into Jane's ear. "How...nice," bitchfaces Jane. Cheryl and Meryl appraise Sam and apparently find him lacking, as Jane turns back to educate Carl some more: "Sometimes, a woman wants to be treated like a--" "Jewel," says Carl. "Yes, like a jewel," Jane agrees, but Carl's like, "No, JEWEL." And, indeed, Alaska's arguably best-known former van-dweller is in the Chieftain, asking someone to give her car a jump. The guys look like they'd start with the car and go from there.
After commercials, Marin's found her way back to the Chieftain. Jane points out Jewel, and Marin's like, "Did she come to see Jack too?" Yes, even though Marin was thrilled about the article before, now that Jack is mad at her, Marin's mad at Jane. Marin asks how Jane could have the article published without Marin's permission. Jane reminds her that, an hour ago, Marin was thanking her over martinis, but Marin fills her in on what's happened since then, asking whether Jane even thought about what this would do to Marin. Jane resentfully says that she is always thinking about Marin's career, and that Marin is going to have a spectacular life. Marin huffs that she doesn't want to be spectacular; she wants to be happy. Jane says that she has plenty of clients (rrrr) who'd kill to be published in The New Yorker. Marin: "Maybe you should go spend time ruining their lives." Ouch. She fights like Jack! Even Jane looks like that one knocked the wind out of her.
Marin stomps away, and right into Cheryl and Meryl, who wanted to say goodbye, and thank her. Marin protests that she didn't do anything, but they disagree, saying that Marin showed them that real men exist, and is sending them back to New York with the knowledge that they don't have to settle for guys who wear more jewellery than they do. Meryl says that Elmo is terrific, and both women are still over the moon about Jack. With one final stroke of Marin's ego as they say they can't wait for her new book, the girls are on their way back to the 516.
Ugh. Okay, Jewel is an AWFUL actress, so I'm going to shorthand this: Jewel and Theresa know each other from when they used to sing together, though Theresa was "Winnie" then. At least, I think she says Winnie; did I mention how terrible Jewel is? Theresa supposedly moved to Alaska because Jewel talked it up so much, and Jewel is disappointed that Theresa doesn't sing anymore. Theresa makes a self-deprecating joke about how every singer secretly wants to be a waitress. Jewel sucks.
Patrick is practising his chopstick technique at the desk at the Inn when Celia bustles in with a picnic basket, promising that dinner is "a ton of fun on a bun." Patrick correctly guesses that they'll be dining on sloppy joes, but apologetically says that he's stuffed with dumplings. Celia, unpacking plates of the least sloppy sloppy joes I've ever seen (show of hands as to who's surprised Celia's sloppy joes are rigidly tidy? Thought so), tightly says that dumplings aren't dinner, but Patrick says that Mai calls them magic food, because they're so small, yet so filling. Celia doesn't answer, so Patrick sternly tells her she should give Mai a chance: "She's hen cool. That's Chinese for 'very cool.'" Celia squints: "She taught you Chinese?" Patrick says she taught Annie too: "She loooooves Annie!" "Oh, COME ON," crabs Celia around a mouthful of joe. "Mom-Mai's a trip!" giggles Patrick. Celia is brought up short by the nickname, and in her jealous rage is forced to pack up her dapper joes and leave in a huff.
Chieftain. Sam tries to pay for Jane's drinks, but she won't let him. "Miss your ship?" he asks cheerfully. Jane snaps that she isn't from the cruise ship. Sam says she isn't from Elmo, either. Jane says she'll take that as a compliment, and Sam rejoins that he'll try not to take that as an insult. Jane credits him with being "not stupid," and Sam replies that she's not shy, and asks for five minutes. She offers three, and they settle for four. Why Jane is acting like she has any other prospects for decent company tonight, I am sure I don't know.
Outside the Chieftain, Sam asks if Jane's cold. Jane says she is, sometimes, to strangers she meets in bars, but Sam explains that he's offering her his jacket, which she accepts. She asks if he's flirting with her, and he says he's been flirting with her all night. Jane smiles that she's a little out of practice. Sam asks what she likes to do for fun. "Pilates. Minute fifty-five -- your turn." Sam says that he has a chainsaw. Jane stops walking and, half-joking, asks him not to kill her. Sam explains that he does ice sculpture to unwind, after a day of driving his plow. Jane, with seeming reluctance, says that's hot. With Sam smiling warmly at her, Jane says she guesses they should call it a night, but then he leans in for a face-sucking kiss, which she doesn't bother pretending not to be into. He certainly sculpted the panties right off her. Jane breathlessly asks where Sam lives...
...and then they're there, on his houseboat, getting it on. There's a bit of forgettable business around her glasses (she can't see without them, but he wants to see her), and when she gives in and takes them off, he's like, "You're beautiful!" and she's like, "No talking." Do women want men to be more manly so that...women can be dicks?
The day, Marin looks for Jane at the Inn, but gets no answer knocking on her door.
Downstairs, Marin finds Patrick at the desk, excitedly practising his Chinese phrases with his book, and speaking to her in what he calls "the language of [his] people." Marin assumes he means his people are Chinese, but he replies that he's "Blasian -- black and Asian," and indicates his shirt, which announces, "Kick Me, I'm Blasian." It sounds lame, but the artist sells it with a righteous Afro. Marin, in no mood, says that Patrick isn't Asian, and Patrick cheerily says that Mom-Mai is. Finally, Marin declares that enough about Patrick, and asks where Jane is. Patrick says that it's not for him to say...and then goes ahead and announces that she didn't sleep at the Inn. I assume this news has already made it out on the Elmo gossip wire.
Speaking of Jane, she tries to make a clean getaway off Plow Guy's houseboat. He busts her sneaking off, though, and offers breakfast, but she briskly says that she's not the kind of girl who needs to cuddle, and in fact doesn't even need his help to get onto the dock. I think I understand what Jane is trying to do here, but if kind of undercuts her attempts to maintain her dignity when she's hobbling away with just one boot on.
Celia's/Jack's. Celia finishes up a session with her SAD machine and, in the afterglow (as it were), is moved to look across the office and yell to Annie, "Wanna have lunch?" Annie's like, "Me?" Celia nods, and Annie faux-apologetically says that she brought her lunch. Undaunted, Celia says that she normally doesn't believe in coincidences...but so did she: "Can I join you?" Annie's like, "Sure," and starts clearing a space on the other side of her desk, but quickly realizes that Celia's not moving, and that having lunch together means they're each going to sit alone and just yell through the office at each other. Celia starts by saying she hears Annie likes dumplings: "And you like Mai." "She's really very nice," says Annie. "I don't think you should be jealous of her at all." Celia denies that she's jealous, saying that she's happy: "I'm happy that he's happy! Patrick's my baby boy -- I want him to be as happy as possible." "Okay!" squeaks Annie. "So you're saying he's happy when he's with Mai," says Celia. "Happier than he is with me?" Annie awkwardly says that she's uncomfortable having this conversation. Celia says she thought they could just have a nice conversation together, but now lunch is over, and she needs another shot of the SAD machine. Annie takes a tiny bite of her dumpling of betrayal.
Chieftain. A crabby Ben is putting cases away in the back when Theresa comes in, asking if he needs help. Ben says he's okay, pointedly calling her "Wendy." Oh, Wendy. Not Winnie! Did I mention that Jewel sucks? Ben asks when Theresa was going to tell him that she used to tour with Jewel, and use a different name: "Those are the kinds of things that you usually share with your husband." Theresa says that it's complicated. Ben scoffs that it usually is, with her. Theresa takes forever to admit that she doesn't talk about the past because she was dating a guy, back then, who used to hit her; she stayed with him for three years. Ben melts. Theresa says that she never wanted to talk about any of this. Ben asks why, and Theresa replies, "Because of the way you're looking at me right now." She was ashamed, and wanted to forget that it ever happened. Ben, breaking down, says, "You can tell me anything." Theresa, also crying, says she knows. "It's done," she says. "That's the point." She came to Elmo and changed her name -- "changed everything." And she claims that Ben knowing about her past wouldn't have changed anything between them. "But it did," says Ben. Aw. Kind of. She's still annoying.
After commercials, Marin's back at the rock she was hanging out on at the start of the episode, playing with her shell, thinking about the good times.
Moments later, Marin's stomping up to Jack in his driveway, aggressively telling him how crappy it is that he won't read what she wrote. Jack replies, "The damage is done." Marin shirtily tells him that an opportunity like that doesn't come up very often in her "business." "Congratulations," says Jack acidly. Marin asks if he's just going to shut her out, and he says, "It's a lot safer that way." Marin says that if he wants her feelings to be respected, "it's a two-way street." And he should check his blind spot! And keep his tires inflated! What are we talking about again?
Marin blahs that writing is what she loves, and that when she does it well, she can give people hope, and Jack should respect that and read what she wrote. Jack says that he would have read it, if Marin had brought it to him herself, before it was published in a magazine. "Well, that ship has sailed and taken a lot of copies with it," Marin chokes. She adds that she read Jack's piece, and that she learned something: "You know why? 'Cause you're really good at what you do. Just like I'm good at what I do." Eh, I think her vehicle's out of gas. Jack wearily says that he never said Marin wasn't good at what she does. Marin pulls out the big guns by trying the most sure-fire way to kiss up to a writer: proving she remembers something he wrote! "You wrote, and I quote, that 'Even when the balance of the ecosystem is upset, in time it can correct itself if it's given the chance.'" "Yeah," says Jack. "But it's never the same again." Marin surmises that he doesn't want to give it a chance. Jack says he doesn't want to fight. Marin says she doesn't either -- she wants to go back to what they were: "What we are!" "We aren't anything," says Jack. Marin asks if the last couple of months were just "hanging out to kill time," then. Jack steps into her personal space: "No. The last couple of months, I actually thought that we could've had something." Marin is stunned silent, but only for a second: "That's not fair." "It's not supposed to be," says Jack. Marin asks, then, if she goes back to New York and writes this book, their friendship is over? Jack studies her, saying nothing, and finally Marin flounces off, shaking her head. Seriously, you guys, did Jack go to girls' school? Because he is a BITCH.
Jane's packing in her hotel room when a knock comes at the door. "Marin?" calls Jane. But no, it's Sam, with her PDA, saying she left it on the boat. "MY BLACKBERRY!" coos Jane. Sam ruefully says that was the kind of greeting he was hoping to get himself. As she studies it, he asks what's wrong. She claims nothing, but he says that she hasn't said anything sarcastic or called him "Plow Guy," so something must be wrong. Jane hesitantly admits that she thought she'd come back to find Marin waiting for her. She goes back into the room, sits on the bed, and babbles that she hasn't seen Marin, thought she knew what Marin wanted, and now is being blamed for getting it for her. Her conclusion is that Marin's gone soft, just as Jane feared she would. Jane trails off when she notices that Sam's sat down to listen, and apologizes, saying that Sam doesn't want to hear her work problems. If that's the case, Sam and I have a lot in common. Except, no, Sam does want to hear, because he figures that's a path that leads to Jane getting naked. Sam says it seems like Jane and Marin are close, and Jane agrees that they are, but quietly says she doesn't want to talk about it anymore. Sam says that talking helps, and that Jane just had a fight with her friend. "She's my best friend," chokes Jane. "Sometimes I forget that." What the hell does that mean? Getting Marin published in a national magazine (however improbably) was good both for her client (rrrr) and her friend, so...what? Anyway, Jane thanks "Plow Guy" for listening, and he chuckles and tells her the name is Sam. And then he whips out a tiny chainsaw and turns a handy ice cube into a miniature Lladro.
Celia shows up at the Inn, showing off a nice figure in a fitted Western shirt (unfortunately marred with a dorky cowboy hat). She complains that Patrick hasn't put on his boots: she's brought High Noon, and apparently they always dress up for Westerns. Patrick says he forgot, and apologetically says that Mai is taking him and Annie to the Chieftain to see Jewel. Somehow, this is what makes Celia put her foot down. She says that he may think he has two moms now, but that it's Friday -- Movie Night. Patrick relents, cheerfully enough. Celia's happy to have gotten her way, but not so happy that she can let pass an opportunity: "And you're not Blasian. You're Blirish." Hee.
Chieftain. Theresa introduces Jewel, and she sings some crap I've never heard before -- which just means it's neither "Foolish Games" nor that song from the Intuition ads. Marin steals in and sits to Annie at the bar. Theresa joins in on the chorus, and then Jack also comes in and finds a seat. Jewel finishes her one-set song and thanks Elmo for loaning her their waitress. Quietly, Jewel asks Theresa if she'd consider coming on tour with her again, and before we can hear Theresa's answer...it's commercials. I WONDER WHAT SHE'LL DO! (You guys...I actually don't.)
After the commercials, Patrick and Celia are watching their movie (Patrick duly duded up) when Mai comes to the door. Patrick goes to get it, but Celia holds him down and stalks into the doorway, as soundalike High Noon music cloys on the soundtrack. Mai asks where Patrick is. He pipes up to say he's right there, but Celia talks over him, saying he's where he's supposed to be. Mai says that he's supposed to be with her tonight. Celia snaps that Patrick's with her: "He doesn't need you." Mai calmly says that Patrick likes her more. Patrick asks them to stop fighting, but Celia tells him to stay out of it. "Listen to your mother!" snaps Mai. In Chinese, Patrick tells Mai not to tell him what to do, and Mai shoots back that he shouldn't yell at her. Celia tells them both that they're all going to speak English, and then gives Mai a test to prove her fitness to be Patrick's mother: "Do you know why he won't mix fruit and chocolate?...Or why he can't look a reindeer in the eye?" "You can't?" Mai asks Patrick quizzically. Looking down, Patrick shakes his head no. Hee. Celia winds up by asking whether Mai knows what Patrick's favourite Christina Aguilera song is, but before Mai can guess "Beautiful," Patrick blows up, telling them both to shut their "crap traps." Mai needles Celia about the "nice manners" she taught him, but Patrick breaks in to say he can't have them fighting: "I love you both." Celia is shocked that Patrick loves Mai, as is Mai herself, but that seems to be enough to satisfy her, and she flounces out. "Well, don't leave all mad," says Patrick. "Mad?!" squeals Mai, thrilled. "My boy loves me! I'll see you Tuesday -- internet mah jongg!" Once she's gone, Celia asks again if Patrick loves her. "Not like I love you," says Patrick wearily. "But more family means more love to go around." Celia, defeated, tells Patrick to go sit down: "Before someone else falls in love with you."
Chieftain. The place looks to be closed, Jewel and Theresa drinking at the bar. Jewel complains that they weren't recording their one song tonight. Theresa says that it was the most fun she's had in a while, but says that she can't go on tour with Jewel. Quietly, Jewel tells her that she hopes it isn't about "Mike," because she shouldn't let a guy control her life. Theresa says it's her: "It's time I started singing on my own." They hug, and then Jewel badly acts her way out of the place. Once she's gone, Ben asks how Theresa could give up an opportunity like that. She shrugs, and Ben quietly tells her, "I wish you could see even a little bit of what I see in you. "I do," says Theresa. "Now. It's taken a while. I'm stronger because of you. I just can't be anybody's backup anymore." Ben sort of chuckles: "So...I made you strong enough to leave me." "Yeah," says Theresa. Ben nods, sighing. "But I'm not going very far," promises Theresa, taking Ben's hand...and then heading out to bus tables. It would be hard to give up a gig that glamorous and satisfying.
Closing montage! A post-coital Jane wakes up in bed at the Inn, alone but for a Department Of Public Works baseball cap fallen behind the pillow beside her. Oh my God, Plow Guy evaporated! Just like all his ice sculptures, eventually!
Marin snaps her laptop closed, and looks at her shell, resting on top of her New Yorker. She picks up the shell and holds it to her lip, pondering. The camera cuts away before she puts that aside, picks up the magazine, and flips to a page where she can kiss her own name.
Dock. Jane is walking briskly...somewhere, and runs into Sam, who's proudly waiting with an ice sculpture. It kind of looks like it could be an ice tombstone, but then he explains, "It's a Blackberry!" Hee! He even presses a few ice buttons, complete with sound effects. As Jane stares at it, gobsmacked, Sam says that he's getting DSL so that she can "Blackberry" him from New York. Not sure how that's going to work on a boat, but okay. Jane takes a breath, and then announces, "I should tell you, my doggie day care legally adopted my dog. And I only call my parents on holidays. And I only know they're holidays 'cause Dean & Deluca's closed. Well, I'm a busy lady. So I can't really promise that I can keep in touch." Sam has basically never stopped smiling in the entire time we've known him, and this speech doesn't break his streak, as he simply replies, "Okay." "Okay," says Jane, relaxing enough to smile. She keeps walking, not acknowledging her ice Blackberry, and somehow Sam acts like it's all totally worth it anyway.
Later, Jane is waiting on the dock with her luggage when Marin comes up and apologizes, actually sincerely. Jane says she knows she pushed Marin into "all this": "I'm pushy." Marin -- fixing her blow-away hair so that we can see she's wearing the shell on her wrist again -- will only allow that Jane is "a smidge" pushy: "But it makes you a great editor." RRRRRRRRRR. "But a great friend, not so much," says Jane. She says she's not going to push anymore; she wants Marin to do what will make her happy. She'll cancel all the meetings, and Marin can stay in "this snow cone of a town": "And you and me? We'll be fine." The ladies smile at each other a moment, and then Marin declares, "I'm coming with you." Jane is silently shocked. Marin pulls it back around to the car: "If I'm not gonna go on my own journey, who will?" Happiness! Kind of.
There's a brief flash of Jack, messing around in his bay, and then we're back on the dock, as Marin reads...herself: "'The Menaissance,' by Marin Frist. My friend Jack taught me about balance -- that it's just as important in nature as it is in yourself." Jack walks toward the camera so we can all remember that he's attractive and rugged.
Annie and Patrick canoodle, with magazines: "That when you care for someone, they can care for you back." I had thought they were both reading New Yorkers, but it turns out she's reading Marin, and he's reading Mad. They'll probably be equally edified by their respective choices.
"That you can trust other people to help you out." Celia does laundry, assisted by a genial Patrick.
"And that you can trust yourself." Alone beside the water, Theresa strums a guitar and makes notes in a book beside her. I want to support her, but she's wearing a trucker hat.
Dock. Jane gets a text: "MISSING YOU ALREADY. PLOW GUY." Oh, shouting. Bad start on the internet, my friend. But Jane eats it up.
"You don't have to say everything you feel." Jack squats in the bay and stares. "I know this because I met Jack. The first real man I've ever known." Jack gets up off his haunches and strides toward the rock, and because the bay is so shallow, it actually looks like he's walking on water. We get it: he's a miracle. A miracle who's not scared to fight with nail scratches and hair-pulling.