To let us know that, in this episode, everything is different, we open with establishing shots of New York, and the voice of a non-Patrick DJ (I could swear it's Roger Ashby of Toronto's CHUM FM, but can't confirm that) expositing that it's 55 and sunny out, and that we're just four days from Thanksgiving. Marin gets out of a cab in Gramercy Park, and gets a warm greeting from the doorman at her building.
Upstairs, Marin struts through her obscenely enormous apartment, heading straight for the closet, where she cradles, coos at, and stops just short of making out with the shoes she'd left behind. There's an overlong montage of her dancing around in various shoes, and then she notices a white bird at her window. She heads straight over to open the window and start talking to it, which it seems like she could do just as effectively through the glass, and without running the risk that the little fucker would just fly into her apartment and start shitting on everything, which would be my greatest fear. After a moment, Marin realizes that she's talking to what passes for wildlife in New York, and shuts up.
Sometime later, Marin walks arm-in-arm with Jane, rhapsodizing about how great the city smells. She sheepishly admits to Jane that she fed the bird; Jane is appropriately appalled. They briefly recap what Marin was doing in Alaska, and that whole business with the leaked chapter. Long story short: Marin's glad to be back in New York. Apparently a shower head has a lot to do with that.
Chieftain. Even when she's miles away, Marin is still all anyone in Elmo can talk about, Buzz commenting that the place is quieter without her around. It could scarcely be louder. Ben asks whether Jack's heard from her, and Jack curtly says, "Nope." Jerome asks whether he's still pissed about the New Yorker story, and Jack just as curtly says, "Yep." Jesus, dude, go change out of your dress and get over it. Down the bar, Sam pipes up to say that Marin has four meetings with publishers today and, when everyone looks at him like he's been updating her official blog or something, he admits that he's been talking to Jane. Sam must not be very popular in town, because Elmo's world-class gossips let the news of the Sam/Jane hookup pass without comment. Ben asks whether Jack's read the chapter yet, and he haughtily says that it holds no interest for him. "Don't be stupid," says Ben wearily, adding that it's really good. Buzz and Jerome agree, and Jack seems both annoyed and intrigued to learn that they've all read it. Ben says, "It sounds like she really likes you." Jerome adds that this is in spite of the fact that Lynn's running off on Jack means he might not ever be able to open his heart again, and all the dudes chuckle at Marin's dime-store psychoanalysis.
Back in New York, Marin tells Jane what we already know -- that she and Jack haven't spoken since their fight. But she doesn't want to dwell on the bad, and seems sincerely happy to be back in New York at her favourite time of year: the week of the awesome Thanksgiving sales! Which I guess is also the week of Thanksgiving.
Chieftain. Jack snippily asks how the dudes would feel if someone mined a relationship of theirs for material, and then published it. Ben says that he'd be glad just to get a postcard from Sara. Buzz comments that it's quiet without her around, too (not that I recall her being so chatty -- unless the noise they're talking about is her faking it with her clients). Jerome says he's concerned that, with Sara gone, some of the bachelors in town have been eyeing him "like a leg of lamb," and tells some random oldster behind him that he needs to keep his hands to himself at orphans' Thanksgiving. Ben's like, "Yeah, about that..." With Sara gone and his relationship with Theresa in tatters, Ben's decided to spend Thanksgiving at his sister's in Seattle. Jerome wants to know who'll make the orphans' turkey, and Ben's kind of like, "Figure it out." Sam pipes up again to say that Jane and Marin are doing a Thanksgiving of their own in New York. The dudes all turn around to give him the hairy eyeball again, and then turn back to ignore him some more. Ben produces a copy of the infamous New Yorker issue from behind the bar and smacks it down in front of Jack, ordering, "Just read it." Seriously -- if he already knows it's a paean to the awesomeness that is him, how can he not be curious? Shut up, Jack.
New York. Marin and Jane are meeting with a couple of irritating, pushy executives at a publishing company; I'll call them Sucky and Schmucky. They love the article, and they super-love Jack. Sucky (the chick) is dismissive about Marin's books, dooming them as "cute," like something a high-school head cheerleader would write. But Schmucky (the guy) says that the new book is more like something from the girl who smokes behind the bleachers, which is more "sexy, complex, serious." I am really dubious about the latter two adjectives, but okay. Sucky and Schmucky want Marin to sign with them "today," but Jane quickly tells them that Marin has more meetings. Sucky tries to grease the wheels by complimenting Marin's bracelet, which she thinks she's seen in October's Vogue, but Marin faux-modestly says that it's from Alaska, and that Jack gave it to her. Sucky and Schmucky are like, "Jack's real?" Marin says he is, and they both demand to know what she's doing in New York, then. Uh, prostituting their relationship for a fat book deal, hello? Jane gives a look like she was hoping somehow tha , in this run of meetings Marin's spending discussing a book chapter she wrote about Jack, no one would actually remind Marin about him.
Oy. Marin returns to her apartment to find Liza getting the last of her food out of Marin's fridge. Marin thought that Liza was spending the holiday with their parents, but no; she's staying in town to meet Rob's parents. And who is Rob? Oh, her fiancé. Of course.
Celia's/Jack's. Mai shows up with a Jell-O mold, explaining to Celia that she wants to co-host Thanksgiving with her. Celia is predictably pissy, saying that she and Patrick always have Thanksgiving dinner at the Inn, with the guests. Mai says that, like it or not, she and Celia are related now, since Celia "made a baby" with Mai's husband. Celia reminds us that she slept with Buzz long before he "mail-ordered" Mai, but Mai's good mood can't be budged, and she chirps that she'll see Celia at the Inn. Celia asks why they can't do it at Mai's, and Mai explains that she has no china: "Ironic, huh?" Celia sends her on her way with a curt "no can do," and Mai shrugs that Celia can keep the Jell-O, which no one can say no to. Once she's gone, Celia glares at the Jell-O, stabs it with a pen, and hisses, "NO." Hey, it's not the Jell-O's fault! The dessert is blameless!
New York. Marin has an orgasmic experience with her deluxe shower head until, of course, she gets a little too into it and, when she tries to redirect the flow, ends up unscrewing it instead. Pretty shoddy workmanship for something she told Jane was overpriced. Just then, the doorbell rings.
Marin comes to the door in her robe to be greeted by the pinchy visage of Miss Frankel, the head of "the building board" (why they don't say "co-op," I don't know). She hands Marin a pile of Liza's mail, and gives Marin shit for illegally subletting the apartment to Liza, saying that if Marin's not going to live there, she'll have to give it up. Marin stares at her a long moment -- possibly wishing she'd gone for a condo when she had the chance -- and then confidently announces that she's moving back to New York! Well, that's that, then! Go to hell, Alaska!
The day, Marin's standing in her shower, pretending she knows what the hell she's doing trying to fix the shower head, and babbling to Jane (sitting beside her, Blackberry in hand) that she had no remorse about her decision to return to New York; apparently she gets a stomach ache when she makes a bad call, but her stomach is utterly untroubled on this particular day. Marin monologues about how much she loves her apartment: she wrote her first book there, got engaged there, and got cheated on there. She thought of it as her "sanctuary." Jane pointedly reminds Marin that she cheated on the apartment with Elmo, but Marin says that's over: "I'm going toward the love. Publishers want me here, you want me here, I have a bird to take care of...." She's choosing New York, because New York is choosing her. Jane exposits that Marin has a dinner meeting with a Stuart Maxson, some hot publisher, that night. Marin is excited, but then crabs that if she were in Elmo, Jack would be fixing her shower head for her. Jane's Blackberry rings, and she throatily tells the caller she's at 18th and Irving Place, quickly hanging up. Marin thinks Jane called a plumber, but Jane says that it was "Plow Guy," who likes to Mapquest her, because that's not too creepy. Marin thinks it's adorable, though, and starts congratulating herself for fixing the shower head, which instantly collapses under all the attention. Call a plumber, idiot.
Celia's/Jack's. Annie cooingly exposits that she's excited Patrick's coming home to New York with her for Thanksgiving. Patrick's excited too: "Can we see The Lion King?" "No," says Annie firmly. She's weirdly serious about it, like there's possibly some big story there to explain why she's so anti-Simba. I mean, apart from the obvious. Anyway, Celia bustles in just then, and Patrick trots over to tell her he's going to New York with Annie. Celia is not having it, reminding him that they always spend the holiday together. Patrick tells her how very excited he is about New York, and Celia is forced to switch gears, lying that she had big plans for the Bachelors to spend Thanksgiving with the...Buzzes? Patrick gets excited about that, at which Annie looks up sharply, seeing she's losing this fight. Patrick asks if Annie can come for dinner too, to which Celia offers a gracious "What do I care, at this point?" Patrick turns back around, asking Annie, "How exciting is this?!" Annie whines that she hasn't seen her family in months: "I wanted to go home!" Patrick calmly tells her she should go, then. Annie says she wanted to go home with him, and Patrick says he knows, but that this dinner at the Inn (which, frankly, he could have any other day of the year) is "huge" for him: "I thought you'd be excited for me." Annie very slowly says, "I am always excited for you. But what about me?" Good question -- though you'd think she'd be less surprised to be let down on an occasion like this by someone who's never been in a relationship before in his life, and was raised alone by his weird-ass mother. Celia openly eavesdrops as Annie spits, "I guess I'm going home alone?" Patrick guesses so. Annie: "Patrick, you need to storm out right now, because I work here and I can't." Heh. Patrick does more of a wander out than a storm, strictly speaking. Celia manages to look very slightly chastened.
Jack walks on the pier. Seeing a shell caught in a net, he flashes back to the moment he gave Marin the shell she's been wearing as a bracelet, but just when you think his heart is growing three sizes this day, he takes the shell currently in his hands and hucks it, like, a mile out into the water. Easy, there, Joan Crawford.
Marin meets Stuart at a cloth-napkin restaurant. He starts out by making with the compliments, quoting her a line from her story that made him want to take a cruise to Alaska. Marin says she's flattered, and Stuart spreads his hands: "Sign with me." She chuckles, and he asks, "Too pushy?" She says she likes it. Stuart orders some fancy-pants wine (the name of which I recognize from a Beastie Boys song, hee), and then asks Marin how she ended up writing about men in Alaska. She tells him about her last book contract dying along with her engagement from Graham, which left her in Alaska, writing about something else. "Cold feet," muses Stuart. "Yeah, he was warming someone else's," cracks Marin. Stuart says he was actually just suggesting a title (which: taken). Marin's embarrassed (by that, and not by the sordid tale of Graham cheating on her --whatever), and Stuart tells her not to worry about it; he likes to know all about his authors' personal histories. Marin asks if that means Stuart thinks she's going to be one of her authors, and Stuart smarms that she should be somewhere she feels safe and understood. Marin says that's why she's moving back to New York. Stuart fishes for information, asking if she isn't with Jack anymore, and Marin says that she and Jack "were never anything." Stuart says that makes her an even better writer than he thought: "That was quite a love letter you wrote to him." Marin shrugs that she's not dating, since she's still trying to get over Graham. Stuart says he's surprised that Marin's not staying in Elmo, since it seems to be where she gets her inspiration. "Everyone seems to want me back here," says Marin intensely. "But what do you want?" asks Stuart. You to shut up should be high on that list. Man, this dude is a wheel of cheese.
New York. Marin is feeding the fucking bird on her fire escape when her phone rings. It's Patrick, and Marin's on the air. He tells her about his big Thanksgiving dinner (which news she totally ignores, by the way), and asks how the book meetings are going. She says that she has a lot of options, and just needs to make a choice. We cut to Jack, listening to the radio in his office, as Marin says that "having options makes choosing hard." Jack puts on his vest, and just happens to find the New Yorker in the inside pocket. Patrick tells Marin to go with her gut, and as Jack studies the magazine, Marin says that it's hard to know what's right when you're being deluged with advice from everyone else around you. Jack drops the issue into a drawer and stomps away from Marin's nasal twang.
Marin and Jane get ready for their Thanksgiving dinner, smugly smugging about how great it is to prepare a meal in New York when some other poor schmuck catches the turkey and drops it off for you at Citarella. The bird shows back up on the fire escape, pecking on the window, and Jane hurries over, telling Marin that it isn't a pigeon, it's a dove, and that there's a number on a ring around its ankle. Shouldn't a writer have, like, sharply honed powers of observation? Anyway, Marin calls the number and gets a nonplussed guy who says that the dove is one of a pair, released at a wedding the week. The dove should be able to find her way back to the coop, but she's confused by the noise of the city. The guy tells Marin to put the bird in a shoebox and release her in a park. Marin reports the instruction to Jane, who snips that they're on their way to a book party that night: "And it's not BYO...bird." Jane, I would like you so much better if you weren't being a warmed-over Carrie Bradshaw all the time.
Chieftain. Patrick mopes that Annie's really mad at him. Buzz's brilliant advice is that Patrick should give her a present, in a box, wrapped with a bow. Jerome crabs, "I miss the women." Ben tells him, "We're not so bad," and Jerome bitchily reminds him that Ben's cast him out for Thanksgiving. At that, Theresa rolls up and asks Patrick what time dinner starts at the Inn. Patrick excitedly tells her about his big family dinner, and Ben tells Theresa that she always has a seat at the orphans' Thanksgiving. Jack's like, "Oh, so NOW you're doing it?" Ben tries to play it off like it's no big deal. Jerome just cares that there is turkey in his future, and not in roll form.
New York. Marin walks by a newsstand and gets excited to see that the New Yorker issue with her story in it is still for sale, but the thrill is short-lived as the issue unceremoniously gets slotted in front of it. She turns to see a display of electric fans in a nearby store window (fans...in November...IN NEW YORK), and flashes back to the first time she had sex with Jack during the heat wave. Bumping into a "typical" "rude" TV New Yorker snaps her out of it.
Too bad for us, because instead of more hot scenes of sex involving Jack, the thing we see is Jane and Marin at some lame-looking party, which Jane has decided to attend in a lame-looking updo. Soon, they're accosted by Sucky and Schmucky, who breathlessly tell Marin that they were going to try to woo her with "Please Sign With Us" cupcakes, but then thought maybe she didn't like cupcakes, as if that has ever been true of anyone ever. Jane and Marin sort of stare back blankly, and Sucky and Schmucky are like, "You signed with someone else." Jane and Marin say they didn't, so Sucky and Schmucky take off in order not to look too needy. Marin and Jane head for the bar, where Marin starts babbling that it's really loud in there, because she's the dove, in case you didn't get it. Then her shell bracelet flies off her wrist and she gets in a frenzy trying to recover it as it gets kicked around the room, finally ending up at Stuart's feet. He condescendingly tells her to "breathe," but it's too late; Marin hauls ass out of there like a baby.
Celia's/Jack's. Annie's getting ready to leave the office, and stops by Jack's desk to give him final instructions. He assures her that he'll be fine, but she anxiously says she doesn't like to think of him being alone at Thanksgiving, and would prefer it if Marin were there with him. Jack is enough of a gentleman not to bitch about Marin's betrayal to Annie, who goes on to list all the things about Marin she misses, and then say she hates to think of Jack having nothing to eat on the big day but a single-serving can of tomato soup. Jack's like, "She wrote about that in the article, didn't she," and Annie confirms that she did, but before they can get into it, Buzz enters. Annie quaveringly tells him that she's ready to fly tonight, but Buzz tells her that he won't be flying; there's a storm coming that will keep her in Elmo. Yes, I believe it's Hurricane Contrivance.
Chieftain, after hours. In the kitchen, Ben and Theresa chummily prepare the orphans' Thanksgiving. Ben pours wine, pointedly saying that he was saving it for their fifth anniversary, which tidbit Theresa greets with a rueful smile. She asks if they have to make creamed onions, and Ben says they do -- those, and garlic mashed potatoes, and spinach salad, and sausage stuffing. Man, why isn't there a Thanksgiving theme restaurant somewhere? That sounds awesome. Theresa says that this dinner beats the hell out of the ones she had growing up. Ben asks if that's because she can get drunk while cooking it, and she says there's that, plus some exposition about spending childhood in foster care. Ben assures her that orphans' Thanksgiving will never change; he and Theresa may not still be married, but they'll be creaming onions together until the end of time. That sounds a lot dirtier than it actually is, doesn't it?
New York. Marin proudly takes her turkey out of the oven, throws the dove a promise to get her home, and then opens the door to Liza, who mopes that she and Rob broke up. Marin invites Liza to have dinner with her and Jane, and tells Liza to get her a cup of water for the gravy. Liza goes to run the tap, which explodes, spraying water everywhere. Oh no, the TV dinner's ruined! Well, the odds were against it all along.
Later, Marin wanly sponges up a puddle of water as Miss Frankel emerges from the back with the super. Whatever Marin did to "fix" the shower head contrived the pipes. (I promise, it's not important.) Marin has to pay for the damage to the downstairs apartment as well, and as Miss Frankel leaves, Marin bleats that she thinks her apartment is breaking up with her; she's lost her sanctuary. Please: someone put her in a shoebox. Liza asks what they're going to do for dinner, and Jane says that there won't be a table available anywhere in town. Marin hopefully says that they have to be able to find something.
Cut to: our three ladies, looking at their menus in a diner. Liza says that it's the most depressing Thanksgiving ever, while Marin notes that there isn't even a turkey burger on the menu, like, as if. New York diners put every damn thing on the menu. You'll be flipping through looking for grilled cheese and stumble past rigatoni, vichysoisse, and vegetarian chili. Anyway, Jane's phone rings, and of course, it's Sam. She reports that she's at the corner of "Greasy and Depressing." Marin defensively says that the diner has the best burgers in New York, so it's not that depressing, but right on cue, Liza notices a woman at an adjacent table, dining in her bathrobe.
Celia's/Jack's. Both Celia and Jack are in the office; he calls her out for avoiding the Buzzes, and she tartly replies that it takes one (avoider) to know one. He pleads work, but she says that no one likes to be alone on Thanksgiving. He claims he's fine with it (and he probably is; Thanksgiving isn't that big a deal to CANADIANS), but Celia says that Jack is in denial about his feelings for Marin. Jack tries to play it off, but Celia says that, as a cop, she's trained to notice things like that. Jack will only allow that he used to like Marin, but now he doesn't, because he can't trust her, but Celia is still in a truth-telling mood, informing Jack that LYNN is the one he can't trust: "Lynn left you, four months ago. You let Marin leave four days ago, because you're a stubborn ass!" Jack, left without a comeback, pouts that if he wanted Celia's advice, he'd ask for it, but Celia tells him that he actually wouldn't. She advises him not to make the same mistake she did: "I loved someone for twenty-six years, and I didn't do or say anything. And now look at me! I'm alone, and he's married, to a woman who makes Jell-O." Hey! It's probably rare for the pre-made cups to show up in stores in Elmo. Jack stares at Celia like he finally might be twigging to the fact that she's right, and she brings it on home: "Make the Jell-O, Jack. Make the Jell-O! Before someone else makes it for you!" Jack doesn't quite follow the analogy she's making, and takes off, flummoxed.
Diner. Jane is picking at her burger when Liza enthuses that when Marin moves back to New York, they can room together. Marin replies that if she moves back to New York, she'll be living alone. Jane asks when her moving back became an "if" proposition. Marin explains that she thought that coming back to New York meant she was coming home, but now she doesn't know what home is. Liza takes the literal meaning, reminding Marin that she was born in New York (which I guess means their parents have moved to Florida or something, since they're nowhere in sight?), but Marin thinks that "home" is the place that makes one feel most like oneself. Neither Jane nor Liza has an answer for that. Marin complains that her stomach hurts. Jane chalks that up to the terrible food, but we're obviously supposed to remember what a stomach ache means for Marin as she says that Elmo made her feel happy and accepted. Liza intuits that Marin misses Jack, but Marin says that she misses Elmo: "Things were quieter there. Slower. I could think. I don't know if I'm ready for the deadlines of a book right now." Jane, a bit harshly, says that publishers won't wait for her forever, and Marin whines back, "How am I supposed to write a new chapter if I don't know what my chapter is going to be?" Jane doesn't really seem to care much whether Marin's dumb memoir is based on true events, but anyway, she doesn't say anything as Liza suggests that they write a pro/con list for each of Elmo and New York. Marin thinks that's a great idea, and wants to start with Elmo. Here's a con: you apparently have to make your own Jell-O.
Celia's/Jack's. Jack pulls the New Yorker out of his desk. He flashes back to Marin asking him to read it, and himself dumping it in the fire, and in the now, he opens the magazine and starts reading. Way to be a grownup, finally.
Inn. On the porch, Patrick tells Annie he knows it's sad that she didn't get to go see her family, but maybe she should just think of the people inside as her family for today. Annie grins and agrees, and they enter. As soon as Patrick is inside, both Celia and Mai fucking pounce on him, each clearly wanting to be more loved than the other. They both squeal all over the wee little pie he's brought, and then he exchanges manly greetings with Buzz, and all head for the dining room...except Annie, totally ignored by everyone. Patrick remembers she's there before he's actually left the room, but the damage is already done. And I bet he didn't even make that pie, either.
Chieftain. Theresa and Ben flirt over the orphans' dinner, set out buffet-style. Jack shows up with wine, asking if there's room for one more. Ben says he thought Jack wanted to be alone, but Jack says that being alone is "overrated." Theresa, on cue, gives him a sympathetic moué, and then a big hug. But those clearly aren't the boobs he wants pressed up against him.
Inn. Annie looks on sadly while all the parents fuss over Patrick. You guys, he's twenty-six. The novelty hasn't worn off yet?
Diner. The girls are listing New York's pros, including five-star restaurants and "cabs, when you're drunk." And diners, frankly. I don't care how much they run down this place; even a crappy diner can reliably make a delicious grilled cheese, fries, and super-syrupy fountain Coke.
Chieftain. The orphans toast.
Inn. Annie is charged with taking a picture of the family no one wants to include her in.
Chieftain. Theresa brings the turkey carcass over to Ben, saying that Jerome has offered to cut more meat. Ben says that Jerome can either drink, or use the electric knife, and Theresa cracks up. She heads for the kitchen, and Jack rolls up, commenting to Ben that he and Theresa make a good team. Ben, pouring another glass of wine, says that he's pretty drunk, so he's just going to be honest. Jack slurs that he's pretty drunk too, so he may not remember what Ben tells him anyway. Thus encouraged, an only slightly Dean Martinized Ben blurts, "I'm still in love with her." Theresa comes into view behind them in the kitchen doorway as Jack asks if that's why Ben didn't go to Seattle for the holiday, and Ben soulfully says, "I don't want her to be alone." Theresa looks up sharply at this, because it's TV, and therefore she didn't hear the first thing Ben said. Anyway, Jack says that he's a stubborn ass. "Yeah?" says Ben conversationally. Hee. Jack says that he let "a pretty amazing woman" (eh) walk out of his life. "You finally read it," says Ben softly. Jack, looking like he's about to cry, says he did: "She got me, you know? I mean, I didn't have to say everything to her for her to get me." Also, Jack, you're not nearly as complex as you think you are. Jack adds that he's probably just being sentimental because it's Thanksgiving, but fellow softie Ben isn't letting him shrug it off, and hands over a sheet of paper with Marin's cell-phone number on it, ordering Jack, "Call her." Jack might actually be too drunk to remember how to use a phone.
Diner. Marin's still making her list, and is up to late-night Chinese food and Off Off Broadway among New York's pros. Marin recalls, "Rocky!" "The movie?" asks Jane. Marin actually means the raccoon, and as Jane snips that a raccoon can't be a pro, we hear Marin's cell phone buzzing (though Marin herself does not). Oh, the pitfalls of choosing too quiet a ringtone!
Chieftain. Jack's on a pay phone, leaving Marin a message: "Hey, Marin. It's Jack. Uh. I read it. And I'm sorry. I've been, uh, trying to stop thinking about you, but I can't. And I think I might be a little bit drunk. And I think I might be falling in love with you. Anyway. Happy Thanksgiving, Coach." Oh, boy. I hope Marin's not standing in the street when she listens to that, because she's liable to lose her panties down a subway grate.
Inn. Buzz announces that he wants to say something: it's been a crazy month, but he's thankful for Mai, for understanding, and for his "great son, Patrick." His other son can go to hell, I guess. Mai is thankful for her "crazy old man," and for her stepson. Celia is thankful that she did something good with her life: "And that would be you -- Patrick!" And Patrick is thankful for "his new family." The four of them clink glasses as Annie looks on sadly, and then Patrick notices her -- once again, just a moment too late -- and desperately adds, "And Annie! I'm thankful for Annie." Annie smiles tightly, clinks with Patrick, and considers stealing the wine bottle and running off into the night.
Chieftain. Jerome is thankful that the Seahawks don't suck this year. Ben is thankful for that too, and for the health of everyone present. Jack takes a sip of wine, wondering why Marin hasn't called him back yet.
Speaking of: in the diner, Jane raises her glass of beer as she says she's thankful that Marin's home for Thanksgiving. Liza's thankful that Rob let her keep the ring. Marin says she's thankful that Graham cheated on her. Jane says that Marin's cut off from the $2 pitchers, but Marin means it: "Because he cheated on me, I ended up in Alaska. Because I ended up in Alaska, I was able to relax, be happy, and finally write something special. About Jack. This all happened because I met him." Marin finally admits that she really misses Jack. Liza, for her part, misses Rob, and Jane misses Sam so much that she can't call him by his proper name, but still refers to him as "Plow Guy." Marin, gazing past Marin, says, "Plow Guy." Jane admits that's what she said, but Marin's like, "No, Plow Guy. Behind you." Sure enough, Sam the Stalker is right outside. He enters, planting a huge smooch on Jane, while Marin, Liza, and Bathrobe Lady look on, totally jealous. Liza says that his appearance out of the blue is the most romantic thing she's ever seen; Marin agrees. And the kissing continues. "I gotta go," says Marin after a moment. Liza asks where. "Home!" says Marin, taking off and totally sticking Jane and Liza with the cheque. Eh, Sam's so chivalrous, he'll probably pick it up for all of them.
Chieftain. Theresa brings a bus tray full of dishes into the kitchen; Ben, getting dessert ready, smiles at her fondly. "Hey Ben," she says abruptly. "Thanks for not going to Seattle." Ben starts to play it off like he wasn't going to, but Theresa behaves the way a real person really would by thanking him for staying on her account, saying that she appreciates it. And then she tells Ben that she still loves him. Ben's like, "Guh," but Theresa tells him he doesn't have to say anything in response, and plants a kiss on him. Meanwhile, those delicious pumpkin pies go cold. Priorities, people!
Inn. It's dessert time there, too, and Celia brings out Patrick's pie, to general approval all around. Celia serves herself, and then Mai and Buzz take their pieces, and then Mai says, "Oh! We almost forgot!" Annie smiles and gets her plate ready, but they actually meant that they forgot Patrick. Annie sits quietly, pie-less, while the rest of the family enthuse about how great the pie is. Once again, Patrick notices too late that Annie's been forgotten. He offers to share his pie with her, but Annie quavers, "I want my own piece of your pie, Patrick. Where is my piece of your pie?!" Patrick obliviously hands her his, but she yelps, "It's a metaphor!" She meaningfully says that he has so much family in his life right now that there's no room for her. She thought he wanted her to be part of the family, but she's just his "glorified picture-taker!" She gets up, takes a long, shuddering breath, and manages to remember to thank Celia for having her (and Celia looks back at her with a bland, pleasant expression -- true to her character, in that it's pretty bitchy) before stomping out.
We see Marin slipping an envelope into a slot in Miss Frankel's door as we hear her voice-over the contents. Annoying as ever, Marin has chosen to bore Miss Frankel with the story of finding the dove (and we watch as Marin gently reaches out to the dove on the fire escape, and then as she walks out the front door with a shoe box). She tells Miss Frankel how the city can "make you forget where you need to be," as we watch her carry the box into a park. The letter goes on: "I love this city. I love my apartment. But there's only one decision I'm sure I want to make right now." In the park, Marin stands to a fountain as she opens the box and gently takes hold of the dove. "Go home," she tells it, and throws it straight up into the air, and the dove dutifully takes off. Would that Marin's problems could be solved by someone throwing her around.
Chieftain. Several pie plates are sitting out, and Ben is lazily picking at one of them when the phone rings. Okay, I don't know if this is still Thanksgiving Day, but it looks like it's about 3 in the afternoon in New York, which would make it still morning in Alaska, yet dinner is over...LEARN TIME ZONES, WRITERS. Marin is jogging through the park as she asks Ben how the orphans' Thanksgiving is going. Ben says it's fine, and Marin says that she's coming back to Elmo. Ben's like, "Yeah?" Marin says that she thinks she can be back in Elmo by 10 PM. Yeah. SURE YOU CAN. Ben, looking across the bar at Jack, says that's great news. He hangs up and reports to Jack that Marin's on her way back. "How 'bout that?" breathes Jack, still looking a bit drunk.
Marin closes up her apartment, and we return to her letter, in which she tells Miss Frankel she'll be giving up her apartment as of December 1. We watch Liza circling classifieds at an outdoor café as Marin annoyingly recommends that Miss Frankel rent her place to another young girl full of hopes and dreams. And with a wallet full of hundreds and thousands, because that place was, seriously, an eight grand-a-month place, easy. Not including common charges! Marin tells Miss Frankel that New York is the greatest city in the world, like, SHE doesn't need to be told that -- she's staying! We watch Sam and Jane enjoying the greatest city in the world, walking close as he points out sights like a big old rube and Jane pulls his arm down. Hee. Marin flags down a cab as her letter says that she has somewhere else to be right now: "I don't expect you to understand, but sometimes you have to do the unexpected thing -- the thing that just feels right." Marin tells her cabbie she's going to JFK. "Going home?" he asks. Marin says she thinks so: "There's this guy -- I need to tell him that I might be in love with him." The cabbie's like, "Save it, Crackers."
Pier. Jack runs up to meet a prop plane -- despite the storm that kept Annie from going home, hello -- and we see a pair of legs in tidy black pants and the hem of a bright-coloured coat, but that's not Marin stepping onto the pier! It's Mallory Keaton! Or, "Lynn," as a totally shocked Jack manages to exhale. Lynn says hi, and steps forward to give Jack a hug, because -- poor sucker -- she mistakenly thinks he's there for her. Jack returns the hug as we hear Marin wrapping up her letter to Miss Frankel, and see that Lynn has "Jack" tattooed across the back of her right wrist. She wishes Jack a happy Thanksgiving. Jack's response is to furrow his brow like a mofo and try to turn Lynn into Marin with the power of his wine breath alone. "to be continued...," we are promised. I so wish we had ended with a shot of Miss Frankel reading Marin's letter, all, "Damn, 4E, who asked for your life story?"