Episode Report Card Al Lowe: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Acting Like Models
By Al Lowe | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.13.2008
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.It's Valentine's Day, and America has finally decided that Katy cannot be made into a supermodel. Everyone is relieved (except Katy). frankie wears a clock to the elimination that would make Flava Flav proud, and Ben's so happy to see Ronnie come home that he lifts him off the ground in a huge hug. Back at the house, the girls get no respect. Oh. Welcome to Planet Earth, ladies. Jacki and Perry still hate each other. Pretty much all the girls hate Perry now, and it causes tensions and a lot of swearing among the housemates. This week, the challenges are all about using body language and expression to play a scene. So: acting. During the photo shoot, the models are put into groups of three. Jacki and Perry must pretend to be lovers on the rocks. Ben plays their best friend, who tries to keep them from killing each other. Perry's so good at being an asshole, he seems to be a natural at acting, and it actually motivates Jacki to slap him. It's beautiful. Next, Holly and Ronnie must pretend to be flaunt their hot love in frankie's jealous face. The photographer is fairly complimentary, but doesn't really think either of the guys is perfect. In the last scenario, Casey is cheating on Stephanie with Shannon. Casey and Stephanie...not actors. Stephanie can't let go and get into the thing. The photographer declares Perry, Shannon, and Holly his top three faves. Later, the girls and boys split up to go buy Valentines for each other. The ladies decorate while the guys cook, and everyone gets depressed missing their real Valentines. After dinner, the contestants all watch a video with V-day messages for each of them from home. Well, each of them except Perry. Oooo, burn -- his beloved girlfriend seems to have abandoned him, and man, he's upset. Later, they speak on the phone and she dogs him about some girl he allegedly kissed in Phoenix. Dudes, this playa is getting played. The catwalk assignment for the week will require the models to pair up and choreograph a routine based on assigned roles. Jacki volunteers to act solo, since there is an odd number of contestants. Stephanie and Holly are a villain and superhero, respectively. They look absolutely fantastic and seem to work well together. Shannon and frankie must transform into Old Hollywood characters. Weirdly, they've put frankie into a swashbuckling ensemble, and Shannon in a tapdancing outfit? Since their clothes don't match up well, it looks a little awkward, but they're both gorgeous. Jacki, as expected, pulls off the bitch look pretty convincingly. Casey and Perry are charged with being "high society," and both play the perfect fops. Ben and Ronnie are told to act like rock stars, and while they're way more Bowie than Bon Jovi, they look pretty good, though slightly over-the-top. The panel is impressed with everyone's work, but they're down on Stephanie from the jump. Her lackluster performance in the photo shoot even taints Casey. Ronnie and frankie also receive some sour comments. Suddenly, the panel doesn't like Ronnie anymore, and doesn't think frankie's moving forward. Things are getting interesting now that there are so few of them left: after more dramatic pauses than a soap opera, Ronnie, frankie, and Stephanie are put up for the vote. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
The previouslies make sure to remind us that...just about everyone associated with this show is a big ol' ass. Fourteen aspiring models have been narrowed down to ten, and tonight, either frankie, Katy, or Ronnie must step up to be booted. No one seems particularly worried. Katy, because she has been in the bottom three so many times and always survived, is particularly sanguine. frankie, meanwhile, moons over a photo of his girlfriend, whom he misses, but does not want to see again until he has won the one hundred thousand smackers. Ronnie...is asleep. Well, he is until Ben so bromantically hits him in the face with a water bottle. "I should make you kiss it," Ronnie moans, "and make it better." He says he's ready for whatever happens and asks Ben if he'd miss him if he was sent home. "Hell, yeah," Ben says. "I'd be stuck here with all these crazy people."
And let's face it, Ben's right. As if to confirm the craziness, frankie fashions a necklace out of a wall clock and wears it to the elimination, Flav style. Because...it's time to...bust a rhyme? Who knows? He says in a voiceover that he's nervous as hell, and I pause to reflect on the strange childhood traumas he must have endured to have chosen wall clocks as his security talismans.
The models appear before the panel, which is reduced in number this week. Niki explains: "Jennifer Starr is working the Ralph Lauren show and won't be joining us." Translation: "Jennifer Starr has a real job working with real models in the actual fashion industry, and thus cannot waste her time messing with you today." Listen, I can't take it anymore -- America voted, and they've kicked Katy to the curb. The boys are relieved and give Katy the cursory hugs goodbye. She doesn't cry on the catwalk, and doesn't cry backstage. Instead, we hear her say in a voiceover that she's going to go home and then turn around and start over. "Maybe I am average," she says, "but I don't care. I want to do it, anyway." I don't know whether to cringe or applaud. I really liked Katy, but I'm glad to see her escape her role as punching bag for the panel and her housemates.
Niki, Tyson, and Cory agree that America has made the right choice. "You know, Katy is a beautiful girl. She's even hot," Cory says, as if he'd recognize female hotness even at close range. "But the situation is that, you know, she's not a model."
Back at the house, the coven has their weekly discussion on who will return. Jacki thinks the only thing going against Ronnie would be his age, and Ben yet again gets defensive, reminding everyone how much Ronnie "wants it." Oh, honey. We haven't forgotten how much he wants it. Shannon very wrongly assumes that the person who wins this contest should be able to carry the title of "supermodel" with grace, and says frankie doesn't seem capable of doing that yet. Well, she's right about that second part, but...no one's impounded Naomi Campbell's cell phone yet due to lack of supermodel grace, you know? I think obnoxious frankie would fit right in. Jacki says that, yeah, frankie's been cocky and arrogant since day one, and Perry interrupts. "I was just called 'cocky and arrogant,' too," he says, "and I'm not like that at all." Jacki laughs. "Yeah, you are," she says. Perry says she only thinks that because she's threatened by him, and they bitch at each other until Ronnie and frankie arrive home. "Yo, sugar tits," Ronnie mugs, coming in the front door, "I got delivery for a pizza with extra cheese." Cute. Ben is so happy to see him, he picks Ronnie up and swings him around the room. There's some quick editing and manipulation to show a really tight shot of Ronnie hugging someone and saying "oh, baby, it's so good to see you," trying to force us to think he's talking to Ben. In fact, it's Shannon, but I can only tell this by freeze-framing the scene a few times. People, Ben's marriage is in enough trouble, okay? No need to pile on with the fake stuff -- the real stuff is plenty bad on its own. When frankie slithers into the room, the boys go so crazy that if I was Katy watching this at home in Alabama, I'd drive all the way back to New York and kick someone in the nuts.