…Is Sometimes Strained

S06E12

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Ken, who's a new expectant father, goes hunting with those crazy Chevy guys and gets shot in the eye for his trouble. Although he's essentially okay, he breaks down crying to Pete how the account is killing him – almost literally – so Pete offers to take his place, confessing the news of his separation in the process. The partners do in fact offer Pete the opportunity to take over Ken's on-the-ground position in Detroit – with the caveat that he work with Benson, who you'll remember was put on the Chevy account a couple episodes ago. Pete tries to object, but won't go so far as to out Benson, and since he doesn't give them a reason, the partners keep Benson on. Desperate to get Benson out of there, Pete calls Duck and offers to pay him to headhunt on Benson's behalf, but when Pete sends Benson's personnel record over, Duck tells him his background check has revealed that Benson fabricated his entire CV, which pretty much makes him a younger, less heterosexual Don. Thinking this exactly, Pete goes to Benson with the information and tells him, essentially, that there's no way he's going to get his hands dirty exposing another Dick Whitman, so Benson is welcome to work alongside him at a respectable distance. A sexy respectable distance?

Betty calls Don to tell her Sally wants to go to boarding school at Miss Porter's, and whether it's the cough medicine/alcohol mix he's on or not, he flirts with her, which doesn't go unappreciated. Sally visits the school for an interview and spends the night – with a couple girls who tell her they'll ruin her chances if she doesn't bring them party supplies. Desperate, Sally calls Glen, who turns up with a flask and a friend who's got some pot, but soon, the friend is trying fairly aggressively to kiss Sally against her will. This leads Glen to punch out him out, which impresses the one host girl who's not freaking out from the weed. Sally gets accepted, and on the car ride back, she lets on to Betty for the first time how disappointed she is in Don. I wonder what she'd think if she knew Don and Betty recently hooked up.

Ted and Peggy run into Don and Megan at the movies (Rosemary's Baby, hilariously), and Megan doesn't buy their attempts to cover that they were there for work. Turns out they were, but she's also right that Ted and Peggy are acting like schoolkids in love, which everyone – Joan, Ted's secretary, the vending machine -- notices and is mostly bored by. When Ted approves Peggy's concept for a St. Joseph's ad that's going to run over twice the approved budget, though, Don sends the budget to the client, which results in a meeting to defend the huge increase. Ted asks Don to sit in for backup, and when Ted's efforts to convince the client are ineffective, Don intervenes – seeming to flirt with exposing Ted's admission that he's pushing the ad because it's Peggy's – before telling the client that it was actually Gleason's last idea. This gets the client to agree to an increase, after which Don flatly tells Ted that he's not thinking with his head, and everyone sees it. He may have been typically brusque about it, but this was the first time I agreed with Don Draper one hundred percent in recent memory. When Ted, apparently taking Don's words to heart, goes home rather than explain to Peggy what happened, she goes in to tell Don that he's a monster, and despite him acting less monstrous in this episode than just about any other this season, the words from Peggy cause him to assume the fetal position on his couch. Well, he might as well rest up before the season finale.

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Megan's alarm awakens her and after she blearily drags herself to a standing position, she goes into Sally's room to find Don curled up in the fetal position. I assume this is meant to indicate the idea that he misses Sally deeply, but from a practical standpoint it's a little weird for a man to pass out on his teenage daughter's bed. At least he didn't get under the covers. When she sits down, he stirs, letting us observe he looks like death warmed over and tells her he didn't want to wake her, to which she gently tells him that she's not sure what's up with him, "but you have to pull back on the throttle a little." Have him repeat that back to you, Megan, just to make sure he didn't hear "bottle."

Well, this is what happens when you don't listen to me! Don pours some orange juice into a glass and then fortifies it with some vodka from a flask he'd hidden in a bag on the counter. Megan comes bustling in to deal with some eggs boiling on the stove and is frustrated that she left them too long, as she wanted to make Don a real breakfast. "You look terrible." He jokes that she does, too, and she softens, but asks him to please stay home and he nods his assent. She tells him to try to sleep it off before leaving, but every sip he takes from that glass is probably adding another five minutes to the prospect.

Oh God. Ken -- still sporting a slight limp from the last outing with these dudes we saw -- is out hunting with two guys from Chevy, and you know where this is going, so let's just say Ken gets accidentally shot before you can say "Dick Cheney" and leave it at that.

Don at least has stayed home and changed into sleeping clothes, but he's also in his reclining chair, so I'm not sure how relaxing the scare-tactics Nixon commercial on the TV about the rise of violent crime can be. He flips the channel and sees Megan in her blonde wig and his eyes kind of hilariously widen, but he can't abide the melodrama for more than about ten seconds before flipping the channel, a sentiment on which it's hard to cast aspersions. The phone rings, and he flips off the TV before answering to hear Betty's voice telling him that if he's too sick to talk, it can wait. He and the frog in his throat tell her they're available, so she informs him her call concerns Sally, and Don leans forward like he's bracing himself as if Betty wouldn't be yelling loudly enough to deafen the operator if Sally had blabbed what Don exposed her to/to her. Betty merely says that Sally's not coming this weekend and Don replies that that's too bad, although Betty could tell Sally that Don's going to be working all weekend. Betty wonders why he thinks that would be a draw to Sally, and Don if you're that off your game that you didn't see that question coming, maybe you are too sick to talk.

Don doesn't come up with a response, so Betty goes on that it might be the experience with the burglar or the fight Sally had with her friend after model UN, but she says she's not going to the city anymore. Getting a little annoyed, Don wonders what Betty wants him to do about it, so Betty tells him she's not sure if it's good news or bad, but Sally wants to go to boarding school. Knowing the reason why she's doing this, Don looks a little glum, but offers to pay the entire expense. Betty reminds him that their daughter has to get in first. Don: "How much does that cost?" Heh. Betty tells him that Henry's daughter Eleanor (come to think of it, she must looove Betty) went to the school in question, and she thinks Sally will interview well. "She has good manners with everyone but me." Mostly true, I'll say. Don thinks she'll get in, but Betty says she's not sure -- it is Miss Porter's, and Jackie Kennedy went there. He puts on a bit of a sexy voice, and she responds positively enough to demonstrate nothing's changed about their private dynamic since they slept together. She tells him she's got to go, but he asks her -- calling her "Betts" these days -- to tell Sally that Megan... he amends it to "we both miss her." Betty says she will, of course, and after they hang up, Don leans back, looking even more exhausted than he did, which is saying something.

Of course, with the scene unfolding in the Creative lounge, it's just as well he kept his distance as Ted and Peggy are using an Ocean Spray blends idea meeting to giggle and reminisce and basically act like schoolkids who might soon be talking in hushed tones about the possibility of Doing It. The line of the scene is given by the ever-straight delivery of Ginzo: "During all this levity, did you mention that 'Cran-Grape' sounds like a glass of diarrhea?" Even Peggy's smile falters a bit at that one, but soon the two of them are back to tee-heeing, at which point Ginzo says he's got to take a piss. Ted decides that's a great idea and after more of a Kennedy-esque voice impression that includes the word "chowdah," he and Peggy walk out of there. Mathis then notes Ginzo said he had to use the can, but Ginzo replies, "I just wanted to see if I could get him to respond to an idea that wasn't hers." As usual, Ginzo's line says it all.

Don, in a post-shower robe, is brushing his teeth in front of the TV when Megan arrives home and tells him he looks better. That wouldn't be hard, but it's also true there's a significant improvement. The phone rings and Megan answers; she has trouble hearing at first, and then recognizes Harry's voice with an "Oh, it's you" tone, which I guess means she understandably hasn't forgotten his lewd commentary following "Zou Bisou Bisou". Don -- in a tone to match Megan's -- takes the phone and Harry, in California, tells him he's got good news. Don: "You finally found a hooker who'll takes traveler's checks?" Harry: "Why did I tell you that." Hee. Harry tells Don that he got a packet and then a phone call from Sunkist and -- ignoring Don's reminder that he told Harry to drop it -- tells him they got a look at the media plan and tells him they're interested in TV now. Don, however, sighs before explaining to Harry that they have a conflict with Ocean Spray. "You should have told them we withdrew. Adios, Harry!" He hangs up, leaving Harry grimacing in his opened beach shirt and high-riding shorts. Hope you've got some cash, bro. Megan seethes that Harry is such a pain before suggesting they get out of there...

...and then we cut to a movie theater and as the lights come up, Megan says the movie was really scary. I'd wonder if her somewhat terrified tone wasn't a bit much if we weren't about to learn they were watching Rosemary's Baby. Don agrees that it was disturbing, and then they get up to go... only to catch sight of Peggy and Ted, the latter of whom works through a suddenly dry throat to explain that they were there because they're doing a spot for St. Joseph's based on it, and he and Peggy had an argument over whether there was a Japanese man among the group of devil worshippers at the end. Don latches on to the fact that they obviously both had already seen it in that case, and soon there's an uncomfortable pause, with Megan then saying they were just going to get some food and inviting them to join. As so often happens among people who are terrible at having almost-affairs, Peggy and Ted pick the path they think is less suspicious, but in practice it actually much more so, as Peggy (who you'll remember greeted Megan effusively the last time she saw her), too-quickly says she should go as she has a date, and rushes off. With Peggy gone, Ted recovers a bit of his mental faculties as he points out that Don is "feeling better," but Megan falls on that grenade, saying she had to get him out of the house. She reiterates her invitation to dinner, but Ted says he's supposed to spend some time with his kids and heads off. When he's gone, Megan whispers an OMG to Don, who gives her an "I can't even with this" side-eye in return. Hey, at least you're not in Ginzo's shoes.

When they arrive home, Megan wants to talk about the spectacle they just witnessed, but Don is more concerned with the idea of using Rosemary's Baby to promote a children's aspirin. Both are conversational topics of interest, I have to admit, and Megan adds to her case by pointing out Peggy and Ted probably chose the five o'clock showing because they didn't think anyone would be there. Don, however, still won't play, and he asks what time it is in LA, causing Megan's tone to cool noticeably at even an allusion to Harry Crane. He picks up the phone and given what soon happens, I wonder if what he just witnessed made him decide to go back on his word to Ted and reverse his stance with Harry. I suppose it's better than having no reason.

Happily, Ken's still alive, but he's wearing an eye patch with some surrounding cuts, so I can understand why he's closing the drapes in his office. He's not done, though, before Pete appears in the hallway, catches sight of him and asks in a shocked voice what happened. Ken tells him to come in, so Pete obliges, closing the door before sitting on the couch with Ken and saying he thought he was in Detroit. Ken: "I was. I told them that Cynthia was pregnant, and they took me out to celebrate and they shot me." Ken, you're going to have to dress that up a bit if you want to write about it. Ken goes on that the account is killing him, and he hates cars and Detroit and guns. "I don't even want to look at a steak anymore!" He starts crying, and he really must be overcome if he's letting tears flow in front of Pete, not to mention the fact that it obviously hurts his wound (although it does make it seem like his eye will be more or less intact). Pete soberly counsels Ken to keep reminding himself it's a great account, but Ken heatedly reiterates that he's going to be a father, and despite Pete's assertion that anyone in the agency would trade places with him in a newborn's heartbeat, Ken doesn't want to hear it: "Did I tell you that on the way to the hospital, they tried to stop for lunch?" WOW. I don't know how to make a joke out of that, given that it's already a punch line. Pete warns Ken that if he withdraws from the account, he'll be laughed out of not just the agency but the industry. Ken counters that Chevy's at least feeling guilty, so he can make a transition happen even though they won't like it. We then spend a full five seconds on Pete getting his scheming face on before offering that if he'd support him to the partners, he'd gladly take Ken's place. Ken wonders about Pete's family, so Pete finally comes clean to someone about his separation and Ken tells him he's sorry to hear it but agrees to back him up. They shake on it and then Pete congratulates Ken on the baby news before taking off. And despite Pete's Crafty Face earlier, it does seem like these two have developed a genuine affection for one another. I guess it'd be too exhausting for Pete to hate everyone all the time.

Roger comes downstairs and exchanges a look of some portent with Don, and then they head into Ted's office where Ted and Cutler are already waiting. Roger breaks the news about Sunkist, which is taken as great by Cutler and "great" by Ted, the latter of whom starts with fact-finding as he asks if Sunkist doesn't care they're already in with Ocean Spray (Harry told them they'd resign) and when Don made such an amazing pitch to Sunkist that they're still talking about it (Don claims it was on the visit). Roger asks if Ted's upset, pointing out that the account would now be nearly triple the size of Ocean Spray. Ted seems to be reacting mildly, merely saying he's dreading making the fire-the-client call, and Ted's new around here so he might help him to know that that kind of thing is Don's forte. Cutler offers to break the news to Ocean Spray, but Ted starts to get worked up as he says that won't suffice -- someone should call all their clients to tell them to watch for being backstabbed. Don asks if Ted really wants to turn it down and Cutler tries to pipe up that of course he doesn't, but Ted tells him to shut up before biting out that leaving aside the part where they gave their word, "which obviously doesn't mean anything to you" (this is clearly directed at Don), he wonders how it looks. "The right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing!" I guess that makes Don the sinistra, which Peggy will certainly appreciate. Don at least feigns sincerity when he agrees that they should work together more, so Cutler declares that they'll have a more coherent approach to new business, which will definitely be an improvement over one that doesn't qualify as distinguishable. He goes on, however, that it's a great account and seeing that he's going to be outvoted anyway, Ted goes for a different concession, saying that Peggy should be on Sunkist as she has "juice experience" now. I wasn't under the impression that the creative department was so huge that he needs to reserve her a spot, but despite the fact that Peggy's image is almost visible now if you look into Ted's eyes, Don merely agrees that the idea makes sense and heads out.

Clara comes into Pete's office to find him polishing his shotgun, and given that it's been around since Season One I'm surprised the show can still afford to pay its rate. Pete slyly says he's getting ready to do some hunting, and Clara bites as she asks with an inquisitive smile what's going on, since Bertram wants to see him. Pete gives nothing away and after Clara tells him his prized weapon is a .22 -- "It's not good for anything but squirrels" -- Pete asks "Annie Oakley" (heh) if she'd ever leave New York before heading off...

...but when Pete arrives upstairs, his enthusiasm hits a speed bump when he sees that in with Bertram and Ken is Benson. Cutler and Roger immediately join them, closing the door behind them, whereupon Roger makes a joke about Ken's eye patch that I guess is expected from the man who practically giggled over a guy losing his foot. Cutler starts the meeting by saying that "for obvious reasons" Ken is withdrawing from handling Chevy, so Pete assessment of Ken's plan was apparently somewhat flawed, although Bertram does have a fairly displeased tone as he asks Ken if he's sure. Cutler and Roger relate a couple Accounts war stories, with Roger telling the group Lee Garner Jr. once made him hold his balls, and even in this group that's a bit of a needle-scratch -- I can only imagine what ball-less Bertram is thinking -- before Ken says he's not resigning the account: he just can't be there on the ground anymore. Literally! He goes on that he and Pete have discussed it and he'll continue to handle business in New York, as the clients will want it, but Pete will take his place in Detroit. Pete gives a little disclaimer about his reluctance that Bertram -- with his inimitable delivery -- terms "Crocodile tears. How quaint." Heh.

Ken then mentions that Benson will be invaluable in the transition and Pete tries to say it would be best if he were to bring in his own team, but Cutler points out the obvious truth that keeping any continuity of service is better than none. Benson's eyes narrow, while Ken looks questioningly back and forth between the two, but Pete is undeterred as he puts his condescension into fourth gear by saying it's nothing against Bob particularly, "but isn't it better to create the belief that service has improved?" From their point of view, it's one of those situations where Pete is taking a position so ridiculous it's hard even to know where to start, so I'm not surprised everyone seems a bit thrown. Benson offers to exit the meeting so they can talk more freely after which Cutler decides they've wasted enough time: "I like [Benson]. Chevy likes [Benson]. And if you don't like [Benson], we can find someone who does." Roger and Bertram look expectantly at Pete, who concedes defeat before thanking them for their trust and heading out...

...and straight over to Benson, who's waiting to hear the results with his usual fake-to-some-unknown-degree smile. When Pete comes over and shakes his hand with an expression on his face that's far from conciliatory, though, Benson sounds a little worked up as he asks if there's a problem, to which Pete says he doesn't want to work with him nor stay in a hotel with him. "You're sick." The heart wants what it wants, Benson, but I can imagine someday you will wonder just exactly what you were thinking. Benson asks why he'd say that, and when Pete asks if he didn't profess his love for him, Benson tells him he was merely expressing admiration and adds that he wants to be on the account solely because he cares about Chevy. Sounding just a bit dangerous, he tells Pete he should watch what he says to people -- not that Pete's intimidated, although he does finally break the handshake that's hilariously been going on for almost thirty seconds. Benson then makes a loud, fake show of congratulating Pete before heading off, after which Clara asks, "So?" In response, Pete spits "So what," and then rushes into his office so quickly that no one has time to say "Sew your pants."

Betty's driving Sally to Miss Porter's as she asks if she's anxious before fondly saying she expects her to sail through the interview. Sally cracks wise about how she wasn't nervous before, but Betty goes on that she's excited for her and starts to relate a story about a high-school classmate of hers going to boarding school, but Sally cuts off the reminiscing by saying Betty told her already. Betty's smile disappears: "Did I tell you she hated her mother?" Sally: "Good for her." Their relationship's obviously still far from perfect, but it is so much more watchable now that Sally's old enough to give and get wit. Betty takes a breath and asks if Sally's doing this to get away from boys, and when Sally barely stops eating from her McDonald's bag to make a smart remark in reply, Betty snaps that she's offering reasons because Sally isn't being forthcoming. She threatens to turn the car around, so Sally looks up and delivers this: "I want to be a grownup, but I know how important my education is." Betty's like, oh, and sounds like of hilariously disappointed at how mature that answer was. Sally, you may have pulled that out of your ass, but that only bodes well for the interview.

Pete's on the phone with Duck and after Pete makes it clear he's not looking for other employment anymore, he tells Duck he's calling on behalf of "a young Account man whom we love, but we can't promote because Draper doesn't like him." Good call using Don as the scapegoat given Duck's acrimonious relationship with him. He tells Duck that frankly, he's got to get "this kid" out of there, and if Duck gives him some leads, he can push them on him. Duck speculates that Benson "must be pretty good if he's in your way," and Pete acknowledges that he's "eager to please." I guess that it's good we're watching, because the double meaning is lost on Duck and I hate to see one go to waste. Pete runs down Benson's credentials -- used to work at Brown Brothers Harriman and went to Beloit and Wharton. Duck accepts the assignment while charging Pete a thousand bucks in cash...

...which later prompts Benson, presumably sometime later, to complain to "Manolo" via the telephone how Pete is an "hijo de puta." When "Manolo" seemingly and predictably sticks up for Dot, Benson tells him Pete is screwing with his future and maybe it's the subject matter, but so far all evidence points to Benson losing that goony smile when he slips into Spanish.

Don returns from the rest room to see Ted's secretary Moira watching what's going on in the conference room with obvious concern, as Ted and Peggy are once again acting like they're on a photo shoot for the cover of Puppy Love magazine as Joan observes with a deliciously bored look on her face. Don asks Moira what's going on, and Moira replies without amusement, "Someone's having a good time." Since Ted was so kind as to bring up things that look bad earlier, it's hard to blame Don for heading toward the problem, so he enters, but not before we get a shot of Joan finding the whole thing even more tiresome. I know I sometimes make fun of principal actors getting paid for like one page of work, but if this is all we get of Joan this episode I'd still be fully satisfied. Turns out Peggy and Ted are giggling over headshots of possible people for the ad. Peggy tries to explain what they're finding so funny, which as a general rule is only going to bore the onlookers who aren't in love with each other even more. Don, carefully holding himself in check (although he and Joan do exchange a fractional eyebrow-raise, which is a good sign for them), asks them to take him through the ad and Peggy starts to explain it, but Ted is like, no, let's show him! Generally, I love the scenes involving the team acting out commercials, but I'd be wary of this one if Ted didn't pull Joan into it.

The ad is supposed to be shot from the baby's POV, which is the spot occupied by Don and Ted explains that the baby's supposed to be all "Wah! Wah!" and tells Don to do that. Don, without any change to his typical look of skepticism and disdain: "WAH! WAH! WAH!" Even Joan cracks up at that one. Ted goes through the pitch: it's basically a bunch of crazy people offering home remedies to the sick baby (although Joan's delivery of "How about a bowl a chicken soup" as a "Jewish lady" is pretty great) until one of them takes a picture. The white flash then dissolves to a radiant young mother -- Ted touches Peggy's waist to gently push her forward, which is lost on Don not at all -- and she holds out the aspirin with the VO line, "You don't need anyone's help but St. Joseph's." Don tells them that usually an ad like this depends on knowledge of the movie, but he thinks this stands on its own and it's not that I don't agree, but I am suspicious of him already planning his angle based on how determinedly he's not outwardly acknowledging the dynamic between Ted and Peggy. Don does note that the ad calls for a lot of people, but Peggy thinks they're necessary for the viewer to feel the sense of conspiracy, so Don asks if he should come to casting. Ted tells him sure, but even he is not going to watch, as it was all Peggy's idea. He looks lovingly her way and she smiles beatifically in response, and I think even Don doesn't know what to say to that, so it's good that Joan pipes up that they'll be late if they don't go.

When Ted and Peggy are gone, Don reiterates that it's a lot of people, to which Joan tartly replies that she didn't want to dampen the enthusiasm (hee) but the approved budget is fifteen grand and they're looking at thirty-five in residuals alone. Should have gone non-union, Joan, as many commercial actors will most unhappily tell you. Don wonders what St. Joseph's had to say, but Joan tells him they haven't seen the new budget yet, so they're paying for Casting out of pocket, although Ted's convinced that St. Joseph's will cover it in the end. Don disbelievingly asks if Ted is going to wait until the pre-production meeting to spring it on anyone, but Joan merely replies that she doesn't know. "I don't tell him what to do." It's delivered with less venom that it might be, given Joan's blowup at Don several episodes back, but Don still has no answer other than to head out...

...so let's check in with his daughter, who's apparently just listed her extracurricular activities, to which Betty adds Diplomacy Club, adding that Henry thinks Sally could be an ambassador. I wonder what household conflict led him to believe that. The interviewer tells Betty it's lovely to see such a proud mother (um, hee), to which Betty replies that it'll be hard to see Sally go, but Betty wanted the same thing for herself at that age. The interviewer then stands and tells Sally her time there -- she's staying the night -- will be as much for her to learn about them as vice versa, and Sally smiles fractionally in assent. The woman then calls to an associate to please "fetch Millicent Turner from study hall," whereupon Betty hands Sally her suitcase and a wish for her to have fun: after the time for Betty to return the day is established, she takes her leave...

...and we head to Pete, who gets a buzz from Clara that Dot is there to see him. Pete bustles out and angrily asks what she's doing there (I guess he figures he might as well act the "unlovable" part), adding to "Josephine," the nurse seated nearby, that she has his phone number. Yes, but since she's apparently only a featured extra, it's not doing her any good. Dot tells Pete she's there for her passport, as she's planning a "voyage" -- and also she spoke to Manolo. Pete barks that he forbade her to see him, but Dot, unfazed, tells Pete he's very upset with the way Pete's treated "his friend" Benson. Pete, in no mood, snips and snaps before assuring her he doesn't have her passport, which is probably expired anyway "like everything else you own," and then snits at poor Josephine that she's endangering her position. He storms back into his office and slams the door, and I hope for everyone in the vicinity's sake that things been reinforced.

In a chair in one of the dorm rooms, Sally's sitting with the aforementioned Millicent, a brunette who looks about a year or two older than she, chatting pleasantly enough about the layout of the place when a second girl enters and joins them, introducing herself as "Mandy." The two hosts sit on the bed facing Sally and continue the small talk until, out of nowhere, Mandy's voice drops as she tells Sally things are about to get worse for her. Sally -- not getting that this suddenly has potential to turn into a very prim and proper snuff film -- asks if they don't like it at the school, but Mandy tells her she's not allowed to talk anymore. Millicent spells out that their opinion is a big factor in whether she gets in, and she can't believe no one told her she's supposed to take care of them. Mandy clarifies that she should have brought a flask or some cigarettes at least, and Sally doesn't tell them that Betty inspects her suitcase before she goes on trips like this, but does offer that she has some money. The girls scoff at that, though, as at home they probably sleep on beds made of it, but Sally tells them she can get them anything they want. Mandy: "Now what do we want?" I don't know, but Sally sure looks scared now.

On his way out (and hi there, new SCP logo on the wall), Don runs into Ted, who angrily tells him casting got shut down because of the budget he sent over to St. Joseph's, and now he's got to turn a "no" into a "yes." Don evenly points out he was going to have to do that anyway, and Ted sighs that he couldn't even break the news to Peggy. Don asks if he also didn't tell her how expensive the ad would be and when Ted enthuses about how great the work is, Don points out that St. Joseph's has been doing the same ad for 20 years. "Why did you pick them to push?" I mean, he knows why, but I do think he's trying as many angles as possible to wake Ted up to his folly here. Ted tells Don that St. Joseph's has been asking for their own "Plop plop fizz fizz," and I get what he's saying but those ads cost the price of a jingle and whatever residuals get paid to vaguely creepy dolls. He then adds that Peggy can smell the Clio and has her heart set on it. I wouldn't know where to start, but Don is already hatching a plan, so he tells Ted he gets it and promises to back him up in the client meeting the day. Ted heads off to go over the budget, and Don watches him with slightly hooded eyes before departing. Given what happens tomorrow, I'm guessing he's spending the evening rehearsing.

From the way the girls are chatting, Sally apparently is back in their good graces and soon we find out why, as Glen -- wearing an Army jacket that's threatening to disappear entirely under all the buttons he's pinned to it -- climbs in through the window. Mandy and Millicent greet him enthusiastically and then Glen asks if they have a rope for his friend "Rolo," who I'm guessing isn't strong or tall enough to climb up on his own. Millicent goes to let him in through the front door, and then Glen produces a bottle of what looks like vodka and tells them Rolo brought "something to smoke." Ah, "Rolo." Cute. Glen asks after Sally's parents before Mandy, pouring shots into little Dixie cups, asks if they can drink it straight. Sally pipes up that she knows how to make a Tom Collins and with the expertise Sally grew up around, I'd say A) it's actually gin in the bottle and B) it's too bad we're not getting to see what Sally could do with a full bar. Mandy genuinely laughs that Sally's too much, and Glen and Sally exchange smiles as he agrees she's okay. Millicent then returns with Rolo, played by Liam Aiken, who a little research reveals was a pretty huge child actor, with roles in Road To Perdition and Lemony Snicket among others. Of course, the years in which those movies were made can give you a clue as to how much younger he's playing here. Rolo, exactly as Glen did, compliments the "nice digs" before Glen wonders about the proctor, but Mandy tells him she's a booze fiend, adding that she'll save some for her. Heh. Rolo sits down to live up to his nickname as the others down their drinks, with Sally only wincing slightly. Somewhere, Don's smiling proudly and he's not sure why.

Pete's working late when the phone rings and he answers to find it's Duck, who tells him Benson's personnel record is full of false information to the point where he's not even sure if the name is real -- he didn't go to Beloit, nor Wharton. And as for Brown Brothers Harriman, Duck's got a friend there and "they all remember Bobby. He's from West Virginia -- parents are brother and sister or something. He was a manservant for three years to a senior vice president -- he took him to Europe on the Queen Elizabeth!" I bet he took the shorts, too. Duck says that of his three listed references, only one of them connected to a working number and that person told him Benson just up and disappeared one day "with an electric pencil sharpener and the Christmas card list." I'm surprised he didn't take some coffee cups, too. Pete asks what this all means and Duck tells him the general take-away is that Benson's only employment prospect was a place dumb enough not to ask any questions. "So far, that's just you guys." Had to give him that one. Duck adds that he'd return the money were the information he just imparted not valuable, and Pete can't help but agree. At which point Duck remarks that he's never seen anything like this. Pete, darkly: "I have." Even if you got up for a snack at this point, you could probably guess that Pete looks like he's sucking a lemon.

Cut to the person Pete's so unfondly thinking of, Don, who's sipping a drink in front of the living-room TV in the dark when Megan enters and tells him he could do that in bed. Don neither replies nor looks her way, though, so she retreats back into the bedroom. Now, I know the way Ted's been acting with Peggy probably makes Don cringe at his comparable behavior with Megan a couple seasons ago. I've never been married, but isn't that a little rude?

We seem to have lost Millicent, but the other four are sitting on the floor as Rolo explains his nickname is derived from the beginning of his two names, "Ronnie" and "Lowell." Glen adds that it's because he rolls a lot of joints and since he says it I guess I don't have to bother going back and fixing my earlier comments. Rolo offers to roll another one, but Sally says she's really drunk, and then Mandy explains that Millicent always freaks out on pot. Glen does an impression of Millicent panicking and running down the hall, and when Mandy laughs rather appreciatively, Sally wonders if they know each other. That doesn't appear to be the case, but it seems like they're about to know each other, as Mandy invites Glen to read her diary (that's one pretext I haven't heard before) and leads him into her room, whereupon he shuts the door. This leaves Rolo clear to put his arm around Sally and her body language isn't exactly responsive to the move, but she settles for asking him if he plays basketball. By way of answering, Rolo moves in for a kiss, but Sally turns her head away whereupon he assures her he's been with lots of girls. "I know what I'm doing." A valuable skill, I'm sure, but in this particular case I think she'd prefer someone a bit less practiced. She tries to bring it back to conversation, but when he replies by trying to kiss her again, she gets to her feet so he asks her what's going on, as she called them and had them drive all the way over, "and now you don't want to fool around? Are you frigid?" Sally doesn't even bother with that, instead marching over to Mandy's door and knocking for Glen to come out.

He opens up quickly enough that they might actually have been reading Mandy's diary, although he sounds annoyed, but when Sally tells Glen that Rolo won't leave her alone, Glen turns his ire on his friend, reminding him he told him Sally's like his sister. Rolo snits that Glen's full of shit, and he just wanted "the good one." Charming! Mandy appears in the doorway and asks what's up, so Sally tells her Rolo tried to force her and when Rolo calls her a "lying little tease," Sally channels Peggy's famous "That's bullshit" before Glen gets Rolo to the ground and starts punching him until Mandy pulls him off as Sally looks on with a smile. And good for Sally for exiting a potentially dangerous situation early and not being embarrassed or worried about possible social consequences. Rolo reminds Glen that he's his ride before storming out, and Glen in turn grabs his jacket and says Rolo will be fine, but he doesn't want to hitch so he really should go too. He does ask Sally if she's all right, though, and Sally nods before apologizing, but he doesn't seem fazed. When he's gone, Mandy asks how she knows Glen and after Sally explains that they grew up together, Mandy conspiratorially smiles that Sally likes trouble, doesn't she? Sally gives a playful little head-tilt in return. Don, I'd say it's time to get the checkbook out.

Speaking of Don, he's sitting in the conference room near the art -- first one there, by the way, just to play up the apparently-supportive image even more -- when Peggy enters and asks with a note of surprise if he's joining them. Don explains that Ted wanted "more firepower," and then Peggy tells him she doesn't get what happened; Don explains about the residuals, but assures her that it'll be fine. "We always win this one." Speaking of sentiments people will disbelieve of themselves later, Peggy looks at him like she's glad he's on her side, and then Joan enters with the client "Byron," Ted, and Cutler in tow. After the usual greetings, Cutler tells Byron that Ted and Peggy will take him through the creative process, but Byron -- who's straight out of Bible Belt Casting -- says he knows the concept and bought it the day it was pitched to him. "I just paid a lot less for it." Ted and Peggy smile in unison, and as Don looks on with intent anticipation, Ted gives a speech about how as concepts evolve, costs can mount, and I'm glad he's in Creative because he's not a producer I'd want to work with. Ted adds that the cost is a fraction of the business they believe the ad will generate, but Byron tells him that with all due respect, his job isn't to promise sales, but to deliver work for the agreed budget. I mean, seriously, Ted, you've been in this business for over twenty years. I'm not sure I even believe that Peggy would think this would fly; it's preposterous for Ted to do so no matter how much blood his brain lacks when he's around Peggy, not to mention the fact that this is a sure way to erode the client trust Ted seemed so concerned about keeping earlier.

As Don looks with the expression of someone who secretly enjoys watching executions, Ted keeps trying to defend himself and the client continues not to have it, eventually settling into a pattern of telling him that Ted isn't giving him "a reason," and further discussion reveals he means a reason he can take back to the top brass at his company, as he caught hell for the new budget and "Mr. Plough" even called him. Of course, it's hard not to start singing "Call Mr. Plough, that's my name," but I'll forego that in saying if you're interested in the corporate history, The Plough Company, which soon after the date of this episode merged with Schering to become Schering-Plough and much more recently reverse-merged with Merck, grew out of a business originally operated from a horse-drawn buggy. Sigh. Don, with ersatz deference, pipes up that he hates to interrupt, but he thinks he knows what Byron wants to hear -- he wants to know why they'd push him like this. Byron agrees that that's what he's after, so Don tells him -- throwing in all manner of manufactured hesitation to make it sound good -- that Ted doesn't want to say the real reason, because it's personal. "In fact, it's very personal."

Don lets that hang in the air for a while and the color drains from Ted's face before, smiling like a crazy person, he tells Don he's not sure he knows what he means. Don: "Yes you do." He looks directly at Peggy, although the positioning is such that only the people on his side of the table (Ted, Peggy and Joan) can see, whereupon Ted's expression goes to one of complete panic, while Joan just looks on with interest. I don't blame you at all, Joan -- grab one of those cookies from the table and enjoy the show. The silence is so thick that Byron asks Ted if he's okay, and Don lets him twist some more, even encouraging Ted to tell Byron the reason. I guess it's fitting that Ted looks like he's watching Rosemary's Baby for the first time. Finally, Don says he'll tell Byron, and he leans forward with more of that false struggle for the words -- say what you will about Don, and I do, but this is a master performance from both him and Hamm -- and says it's hard for Ted to say, "but this was Frank Gleason's last idea." Oh. OHHH. Don Draper, FTW! Everyone takes a moment to process that and Peggy looks like she's feeling a grand mal seizure coming on before Cutler runs with it and apologizes that they've all gotten "a little sentimental." Hee. Byron relaxes for the first time as he says they should have told him earlier, and Ted does a good job of remembering English as he chokes out that he "didn't want to lean on that" while looking at Don and almost biting through his lip. Byron stands and ups the budget to twenty-five grand, final offer, and then Joan and Cutler exit to see him out. The action is continuous, but I think we could use a paragraph break before this bit, don't you?

Peggy turns to Don and asks if that was really necessary, somehow refraining from winging the entire bowl of cookies at him as she does so, but then Ted -- seriously looking like he's right back at Gleason's funeral -- asks her to leave them alone, so with another baleful look at Don, she obliges. Ted then turns to Don and asks what that was, but Don, his eyes narrowed slightly with the superiority that comes with not only the knowledge the facts are on his side but the experience of having been here himself, tells him it was the best he could do. "You want me to tell him the truth?" Ted asks what he's talking about, so Don tells him he's not thinking with his head and has been embarrassing himself: "I know your little girl has beautiful eyes, but that doesn't mean you give her everything." Ted tries to deny it, but Don tells him they've all been there... and then his face completely changes to surprise as he adds, "I mean, not with Peggy." HA! It's the facial expression that kills it; this is my favorite scene from Jon Hamm this season. Also, I think Don is merely stating for the record he has never been smitten with Peggy rather than anything insulting, but Ted gets all "How DARE you, sir" about it, so Don has to grab a bigger bucket of cold water as he tells him that he's kidding himself and everyone sees it. "Just ask your secretary! Your judgment is impaired. You're not thinking with your head." It's the best presentation this room has seen in a while, and Don didn't even bring visual aids. I don't think Don went through this whole production from a place of malice, but I do suspect he enjoyed dangling Ted as far over a precipice as possible in an effort to make him see reason. Ted finally has no response as the scales almost palpably start to fall from his eyes, and having made his point, Don heads out...

...but we're not done coming to Jesus, as Pete appears in Benson's doorway to find the man with his headphones on listening to something on his phonograph, possibly How To Succeed In Business Without Really Existing. Pete gets his attention, and Bob greets him even more obsequiously than usual. Hilariously, Pete intones that he thought for sure Benson would have bought him a coffee today before closing the door and saying he always wondered how Benson was "so expertly servile," but now he knows -- it used to be his profession. This wipes the smile off Benson's face -- it's really like watching a balloon rapidly deflate -- and he asks in a fairly desperate tone what Pete wants. Pete tells him he was up all night wondering what he does when he's found out before asking who hired him, but Benson tells him he did. "I met with Ken; you walked in, complimented my tie and walked out. It was the best day of my life." What about the QEII, Bob? Pete declares Benson's fraud irrefutable, so Benson asks for a day's head start, but Pete -- clenching his jaw so hard I'm bracing myself for the snapping sound -- seethes that Benson is "going to get the benefit of the fact that I've been here before." He goes on that he doesn't know how people like Benson do it -- "You're certainly better at it than I am at whatever I do, but I would like to think that I have learned not to tangle with your kind of animal." Benson says he doesn't understand -- how could he? -- so Pete tells him he wants Benson to "graciously accept my apologies, work alongside me but not too closely. I'm off-limits." Benson nods, so Pete turns to go, but before he opens the door, he asks Benson if he'd please find a way to get Manolo out of Dot's life. "You know she's demented." Benson heatedly says Manolo doesn't like women, but Pete snaps back, "Make sure!" I'm not certain what test Pete's proposing, but I'd imagine Benson's done it already. As we're constantly reminded, this is the sixties.

Pete enters the main office area and takes a deep breath as he looks around contentedly, probably now starting to enjoy the Chevy victory for the first time. He heads into his office...

...and then we cut to Betty and Sally in the car on the way home. Sally is being even less communicative than she was on the drive up, but hangovers will do that to you. Betty calls her out for being rude, but when that gets no response, Betty's like okay, fine, then I'm not going to tell you what "Mrs. Beresford" told me when Sally was saying goodbye. This gets Sally's attention, so Betty informs her that the woman views her as curious and bright and that she "received glowing reports from all concerned." Sounds like Mandy wants to see Glen again. Betty goes on that Mrs. Beresford said a girl like Sally with the family she has will have plenty of choices, but she hopes Sally will choose Miss Porter's. "Now get me a cigarette and give me some details." Heh. After Sally lights her up, Betty looks over and is like, you want one, don't you. Sally doesn't deny it, so Betty tells her to go for it: "I'd rather have you do it in front of me than behind my back." I'm not sure one precludes the other, Betty, but okay. She speculates that "your father's" probably given Sally a beer at some point, but Sally flatly replies, "My father has never given me anything." Betty looks puzzled at what's going on, which isn't surprising, because she's winning the parent race and that's seriously unfamiliar territory.

Peggy marches up to Moira and asks if she relayed the message to Ted that she needs to see him, but Moira rather relishes informing Peggy that Ted went home. Peggy disbelievingly asks when, hearing this in response: "Right after I told him you needed to see him." I mean, poor Peggy, but still: HA! Peggy looks hurt for a moment, but then gets a steely expression as she looks in the direction of Don's office...

...in which he's lying on the couch when Peggy bursts in and tells him she knows what he did -- she's just not sure why he did it. He at first tries to mollify her, saying they can still do the ad, but that goes nowhere so he gets real and tells her he saved both of them. "How do you think it looks?" Peggy goes back to a familiar refrain as she tells Don that he hates that Ted's a good man, but Don tells her he's not that virtuous. "He's just in love with you." Peggy shoots back that Don killed Ted, the ad and everything. "You can stop now." Don's voice cools as he tells her he's looking out for the agency, but Peggy gets the last word on her way out: "You're a monster." And he'd never let her see it, but this comment is like a slap in the face and when she's gone, he curls up on the couch. An overhead shot on Don in the fetal position bookends the episode and makes it clear that Peggy's rejection hurts just as much as Sally's. Someday, Don, maybe she'll realize you had her best interests at heart. Not sure I can say the same about Sally, though. The Monkees' "Porpoise Song" sends us to credits, and I'll see you week for the season finale!

John Ramos is a writer and film producer living in Los Angeles. His new film, a documentary on online privacy and the sale of personal data called Terms And Conditions May Apply, will be in theaters in July. You can get news on it from the film's Twitter account. Also, you can email John at couchbaron@gmail.com, follow him on Twitter at https://twitter.com/couchbaron, or check out his blog, "Pull Up A Chair," which he'd just love for you to stop by.

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