California, Here I…I Mean, "You" Come

S06E13

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Wow. Can't remember this much happening in an episode in a long time. Let's set the scene and get the smaller things out of the way: SC is opening up a small LA location in order to service the new Sunkist account, and Stan expresses to Don his desire to go try to build the new office into something great despite Don's warnings that it probably won't work out that way. Also, Hershey's sends out an RFP (Request For Proposal), which is groundbreaking not only because of the size of the account but the fact that they've historically never advertised. Plus, who wouldn't want all that free chocolate?

Roger is reticent about continuing to invest in Brooks' scheme, which is the last straw for Margaret as she tells him not to bother coming to Thanksgiving. Roger is also still jealous of the time Benson's spending with Joan and calls him into his office to give him a piece of his mind. Later, Roger's longtime secretary Caroline tells Joan she's worried about him and has nowhere to go on Thanksgiving, so Joan magnanimously has Roger over, although Benson is there too. It's too bad the season's ending, because I'd love to see Benson and Roger share a drunken cab ride home.

Pete gets a telegram that his mother was lost at sea, apparently going overboard from a cruise ship; in the aftermath, Pete also learns that Manolo and Dot had gotten married. Pete accuses Benson of conspiring with Manolo to knock Dot off for her (perceived) money, for which Benson gets even with him by exposing his terrible driving ability to Chevy. This gets Pete canned from the account, and no word on who's going to take his place, but given that Ken's still sporting that eye patch I doubt he'll be going back.

Okay, now the bigger stuff. Don gets a subpoena for Sally to give a statement about Grandma Thief, but when he calls her at school (she's at Miss Porter's now; it's Thanksgiving-time), he can barely keep her on the phone for thirty seconds before she hangs up on him. Later, Betty calls Don in tears to tell her Sally's been suspended for buying beer, and the fact that she's so beside herself only adds to Don's guilt over his failings with his daughter. Not that he ever needed an excuse, but this is a contributing factor to him day-drinking in a dank bar wherein a Bible-thumper tries to talk with him about Christ, which sends him into a flashback of his Uncle Mack kicking a similar man out of the whorehouse – but not without him telling Young Don that the only unpardonable sin is to believe you're beyond God's forgiveness. Don comes to behind bars, apparently having clocked the minister, so when she gets up, Megan finds him pouring out all the alcohol in the house. He at least tells Megan what happened and admits he's been out of control – and that he wants to move to LA and build the new agency. He rips off Stan's language wholesale in doing so, but of course Megan's career could only be helped by being in LA, and when he reminds her how happy they were out there, she practically jumps for joy. Don makes his announcement at work, and Stan tells him to screw, while pretty much everyone else reacts with varying degrees of "Good riddance."

Ted is ignoring Peggy, so at the end of a day she interrupts a meeting in which Ted is a participant while dressed as sexily as possible to oh-by-the-way that she's going out; this prompts Ted to show up at Peggy's door promising he's going to leave his wife, and they finally hop into bed. Peggy tells him she doesn't want a scandal, so she can wait for him to get his life in order, but when Ted slides into bed with his wife he looks like he knows this is going to be harder than he thought. This leads him to go to Don, distraught, and tell him he's the one that wants to go to California, with his family, otherwise he's going to ruin his life, but Don tells him he can't help him, as Megan's already being written off her show. In the Hershey's meeting, Don takes the lead and the pitch goes well, but when he sees Ted looking utterly defeated and miserable amid all the good cheer, something stirs in him, and soon he's revealing to the room in fairly graphic and tearful detail his whorehouse childhood and the way a Hershey bar was about the only thing that made him feel normal and wanted. It's a beautiful moment acted exquisitely by Jon Hamm, and on the heels of that, probably trying to save both Ted's family and his soul in a way he never took care of his own, he tells Ted to go to California. Soon Ted is telling a distraught and angry Peggy he's leaving -- and she's not the only one, as when Don breaks the news to Megan – trying inadvisedly to sell her on their new and exciting bicoastal relationship – she wonders why she's even bothering anymore and leaves. Well, no one can say she didn't try.

To wrap up the season, Pete also goes to California, and Trudy tells him he's free, while Stan finds Peggy symbolically working in Don's office. Why symbolically, you might ask? Because the remaining partners, finally fed up with Don's erratic behavior, order him to take an indefinite leave of absence, and on his way out he runs into Duck escorting a presumable potential replacement into the building. And finally, on Thanksgiving, Don takes his kids to see the now-dilapidated building in which he grew up, and although I wouldn't say this causes Sally to forgive him, she at least looks at him with new interest. It's a very strong ending to a season that had trouble finding its way, which leaves me optimistic for the final stanza.

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Don walks into SC&P to find Stan eagerly awaiting him, and as they pedeconference, we learn that the agency is setting up a small office in LA to service Sunkist, and Stan wants to go. Don points out that this would effectively be a demotion, as Stan would be in one room with one account, but Stan’s plan is to try to turn the satellite branch into a real agency (by which I assume he means it would eventually be bringing in new business). He goes on that he wants to “set up the homestead,” but Don once again tries to dissuade him by saying if he fails in LA, he’ll be out of advertising completely “because no one takes it seriously.” Stan, however, is hell-bent on his romantic idea and promises Don he’ll impress him. Once Stan’s walked off, Don looks after him with an expression that suggests he’s still skeptical but has run out of energy to argue the point. Having recapped TV for over a decade, I believe I’ve seen it in the mirror once or twice.

Roger escorts Brooks out of his office while smiling some words about disappointment teaching more than success, and Brooks, with good but smaller humor, replies that he must be turning into a very wise man. Margaret is waiting with a smile and a drawing Ellery made for Roger, but when it becomes clear that Roger is putting the brakes on investing in Brooks’ refrigeration-truck scheme (with the implication that he has contributed up to this point), Margaret points out that she’s his daughter. “What do I have to do to get on the list of girls you give money to?” The unfortunate, obvious and illegal answer aside, she’s got a point. Brooks, less inclined to anger and bridge-burning than his wife, is like whoa whoa whoa, but Margaret spits that Roger shouldn’t bother coming to Thanksgiving. “The table will be empty.” She storms off, and although Brooks assures Roger she doesn’t mean it, I wonder what he’s basing that on.

Don’s Irishing up his coffee (sorry, Ned Flanders) when Dawn buzzes that Ken is there to see him. When the door opens, though, it’s not just Ken — still wearing the eye patch, by the way — but Cutler, and they have news: Hershey’s just sent out an RFP (Request For Proposal) to the top thirty agencies, and SC&P is on the list. Don doesn’t think the request is serious, though, as Hershey’s has never advertised before, but Cutler points out that Mars, their competitor, bills at $10 million, and Ken adds that they think Hershey’s is looking for someone to talk them into that kind of spend. This gets Don’s attention, and he smiles that he loves Hershey’s. And as we’ll see, for once he’s not dissembling. He tells Ken to get him in a room, so Ken and Cutler bustle out, after which Don contemplatively sips his… well, “morning fuel” covers both ingredients, I guess.

Coming down the stairs, Roger runs into Pete, suitcase in hand, who tells him he was able to find a deli in Detroit, “but the airport’s like Calcutta.” Not sure which city should be more offended there. As Pete goes on about his intention to get an apartment in Detroit, over Pete’s shoulder Roger sees Benson giving a gift to Joan, after which his face looks like a remarkably good candidate for the “Before” shot in an Alka-Seltzer ad. Rather than retreat, though, he charges on in and sees the gift is a small replica of a “Racehorse,” which I guess was a Chevy model, although an internet search turns up nothing; it certainly seems like an answer to the Mustang. Roger jokes that now Kevin’s going to want a real one, but Joan thinks that’s not necessarily a pipe dream, as Chevy just gave Bob one. Now I’m seeing why people want to work on this account. Roger smiles through another joke, but once he’s turned away, he gets that look of gastric distress again. Stop caring about things, Roger! It’s no fun!

Don’s pouring a drink when Megan comes in and wonders if they’re going to have dinner, and Don replies, “Eventually.” What, like tomorrow? Give it to her in number of highballs, Don. Megan then says she’s worried, as “they” sent a letter and Sally has to call them. Don sighs and says he’ll talk to her at Thanksgiving, but Megan reminds him that it’ll just be the boys, as Miss Porter’s doesn’t have Thanksgiving vacation. Handing Don the letter, she informs him it says the step is a subpoena before telling him that he can have the one drink and then it’s dinnertime. See what I’m saying? He agrees with a smile, but when she walks away, he looks at the envelope, which is from the DA of New York County. Also, Don’s address is 783 Park Ave. Apt 17B, in case anyone wants to go back in fake time and pretend-stalk Don. (Have I said that before? Well, in case anyone new wants to.)

Coming down the stairs, Roger runs into Pete, suitcase in hand, who tells him he was able to find a deli in Detroit, "but the airport's like Calcutta." Not sure which city should be more offended there. As Pete goes on about his intention to get an apartment in Detroit, over Pete's shoulder Roger sees Benson giving a gift to Joan, after which his face looks like a remarkably good candidate for the "Before" shot in an Alka-Seltzer ad. Rather than retreat, though, he charges on in and sees the gift is a small replica of a "Racehorse," which I guess was a Chevy model, although an internet search turns up nothing; it certainly seems like an answer to the Mustang. Roger jokes that now Kevin's going to want a real one, but Joan thinks that's not necessarily a pipe dream, as Chevy just gave Bob one. Now I'm seeing why people want to work on this account. Roger smiles through another joke, but once he's turned away, he gets that look of gastric distress again. Stop caring about things, Roger! It's no fun!

Don's pouring a drink when Megan comes in and wonders if they're going to have dinner, and Don replies, "Eventually." What, like tomorrow? Give it to her in number of highballs, Don. Megan then says she's worried, as "they" sent a letter and Sally has to call them. Don sighs and says he'll talk to her at Thanksgiving, but Megan reminds him that it'll just be the boys, as Miss Porter's doesn't have Thanksgiving vacation. Handing Don the letter, she informs him it says the step is a subpoena before telling him that he can have the one drink and then it's dinnertime. See what I'm saying? He agrees with a smile, but when she walks away, he looks at the envelope, which is from the DA of New York County. Also, Don's address is 783 Park Ave. Apt 17B, in case anyone wants to go back in fake time and pretend-stalk Don. (Have I said that before? Well, in case anyone new wants to.)

Roger stomps into his office being petulant in about six different ways, one of which is to snap at Caroline to get Benson for him. He's then barely even gotten a cigarette out of the pack when Caroline buzzes that Benson's there, and Roger hilariously throws up his arms like "Okay SERIOUSLY?" before telling her to send him in. When Benson enters, Roger asks if he's been circling his office, before having him sit down and telling him he hasn't had a performance review. Benson demurs, and starts to talk about Cutler, but Roger cuts him off and heatedly gives him a piece of his mind for buying presents for "another man's kid" and leading Joan on. If Roger is reading the situation straight -- forgive me -- I wonder why he's jumping to the conclusion that Benson's leading Joan on; I guess he's got it in his head that Benson is dangling romantic prospects in front of her to further his work interests, but it would seem tenuous even if Roger hadn't seen the shorts. Benson assures Roger that he and Joan are just "buddies" and wonders what any of this has to do with his performance, and depending on your perspective it's either a shame or a blessing that Roger's too worked up to make a tasteless pun out of that. Instead, answering my earlier question, he tells Benson that he sees what he's up to -- Chevy will want him to be a family man, but playing with Joan's feelings isn't the way to do it. Benson says Roger's right, but Roger snaps that he'd better not be before telling Benson he'll be happy to have him out in Detroit. He's awfully protective for someone who barely said a word when his company literally whored Joan out, but I guess it's different now that his kid is involved.

Speaking of nauseated looks, Sally picks up the pay phone at Miss Porter's to find it's Don calling. She almost hangs up within the first five seconds, but Don keeps her on to tell her he knows it's unpleasant, but Sally's being required to give a statement about Grandma Ida the burglar, so she needs to make arrangements to be out of class on the first of December. Sally isn't impressed with the power of the DA or her father, though, and when Don tells her she has to cooperate by law, she snits, "Well, I wouldn't want to do anything immoral. You know what? Why don't you just tell them what I saw." Oh. OHHHH. I didn't even realize it on first viewing, but that is a delicious burn on the way he twisted what she witnessed after the fact. She hangs up, which is just as well because there was no comeback for that one.

Cutler comes into Ted's office with "a personal plea" -- the folks from Sheraton are in the lobby, and he can't find Don. Ted: "Again?" That can only mean...

...that Don is in some dark bar getting wasted. At least Bewitched is on the TV, so he's getting some dose of advertising. Besides the bartender, the only two other people are another drunk and a man talking in his ear most insistently about Christ, and the fact that even with all the booze Don is able to focus his eyes enough to roll them is a pretty good indication of what's coming. He asks for the guy to keep it down. This brings him right over into Don's space with words about how Don needs to talk, and although I think he's barking up the wrong tree with his pitch, he's not wrong on that front. The guy tells Don that Jesus can take away the pain of this life, but Don points out that if that's the case, Jesus missed his cue when it came to JFK, Martin Luther King Jr., and indeed all of the Vietnam conflict. All this has been fun and games, I'm sure, but the guy's response is no joke: "I'm afraid there's not one true believer in that list." Don's head snaps around so quickly you can practically feel the wind: "What the hell did you just say?" Sir, might I suggest a step or two back before you repeat yourself?

Oh, we're back in the whorehouse, but the flashback is much more topical than most, as Mack is ejecting a man who made his way onto the premises in an attempt to bring God to this house of sin. Mack tosses him out on the street with an awesome line -- "I'd tell you to go to hell, but I never want to see you again" -- but before the preacher goes, he turns back to Young Don, who followed to watch the spectacle, with this urgent news: "The only unpardonable sin is to believe God cannot forgive you." With that, he shuffles off, and then we get a wide shot of the place, standing on a corner set up from the street. It would actually make a good spooky haunted house if not for the fact that the lights are always on there.

Don groggily comes to, and from the bars in front of him and the people piled in with him, it's fair to assume he's in a drunk tank. He calls to a guard that he shouldn't be in there, and the guard agrees -- that he should be in Rikers Island, as he punched a minister. Don can't really argue with that, so he does the only thing he can, which is go back to sleep. Given that a toilet looks like too much to ask for, I guess it's good that anyone fucked up enough to land here probably wasn't drinking beer.

Peggy comes out of her office to see a couple boys we know to be Ted's kids running down the hall, and after Ted's voice calls that they'll have candy at the theater, Ted and Nan walk by. Nan gives Peggy a friendly greeting, but the only look Ted throws her way is one of vague terror. Once again, he is terrible at this, while Peggy starts that bobble-headed thing she sometimes does when she's trying to wrap her head around something.

Pete's also heading out, and when Clara comes upstairs with a yellow envelope in hand, Pete tells her he's going to give his keys to the subletter. She shows him the telegram addressed to him, and when he tells her to open it, she obliges -- and then cries out in horror that Dot fell off a ship. Pete takes it and then tells Clara to get his brother Bud on the phone, and then we get a close-up of the message, which is from the Sunset Princess of Universal Cruise Lines, telling him the vessel was searched and his mother was presumed lost overboard. Pete looks a little stunned, possibly at the realization that he's now an orphan, and you won't find me making jokes about that, unlike just about everything else involving him this episode.

In the early morning light, Don is at the kitchen sink pouring out all the booze in the house. Megan appears in her nightgown and speculates that his current activity might be related to his absence the night. Don looks at her warily but confesses that it is, and after he has her come to him, he tells her, with some self-deprecating amusement, that he spent the night in jail. She doesn't see the humor, but he tells her he's laughing at how out of control he's been, and she at least appreciates the admission: "Sorry you had to find out that way." Don't feel too bad. He could have punched someone who knew how to punch back. With what sounds like a very clear head, he goes on that he realized something else -- he wants to move to LA. Megan, looking like she wants to give in to an unconditional smile, tells Don she's had a lot of opportunities in Hollywood, but she never considered them "because I thought it would make you go crazy. Wouldn't it? What would you do out there?" How about cause casting directors to elbow each other out of the way to get at him? Don doesn't mention that idea, though, instead telling her about the satellite office with windows and sunlight and the ocean. "It's an opportunity to build one desk into an agency. We'd be homesteaders." I suppose after the night he had, I can forgive him a little plagiarism. That's hardly going to be Stan's biggest problem with him anyway. Megan wonders about the kids, but Don thinks they'd welcome an entire summer in LA in lieu of weekend visits to the city, and with Megan out of objections for the moment, he breathes, "We were happy there. We could be happy again." It's what Megan needs to hear, and I think he's being sincere, but I still haven't forgotten my beloved Dr. Faye: "And I hope she knows you only like the beginnings of things!" This is no different; it's California that will reinvigorate the relationship, but like all his other infatuations, it won't last. Regardless, Megan starts crying, and after Don ascertains that that's a yes, they embrace...

...and then we cross-fade into the other partners in the conference room, looking at Don like he just said he grew up in a whorehouse. Come on, you guys, there will be time enough for that. Bertram points out that they were intending for California to be a junior position, but Don tells them they were thinking too small. Ted snits that he thinks they can spare him, to which Don apologizes for the Sheraton incident, saying it won't happen again. Well, not if you're in LA! No one else can think of anything to say, so Don tells them he welcomes a vote on the matter before exiting the room. Ted: "How is it every decision made in this place is subject to ten opinions unless it's him?" Heh. Ted wonders what happens if they need him, and Roger storms out, but Cutler's stock continues to rise in my book when he's like, let's maybe chill out -- they have phones and planes still, right? He adds that this will be good for Ted, as he's already doing the heavy lifting anyway, but when he's gone, Pete exhaustedly sighs that he has bigger problems than this, while everyone else just looks a mixture of glum and irritated. Guys? It'll pass.

In his office, Don buzzes Dawn for cigarettes, but what he gets is Stan walking in with an awesomely fake smile on his face and the memo announcing Don's departure in his hand. After some sarcastic words about how he just put Dawn out of a job and it probably never crossed his mind, Don tries to tell Stan he should be able to get him out there eventually, but Stan replies, "To work for you? Nah, I'd rather stay here." Stan, that's toothy! Don tries to get him back, but Stan tells him he has a sandwich on his desk. "I need to get to it before you do." Ha! First Sally and now Stan -- Don is getting verbally bested by the unlikeliest of foes here. What's not to love?

In his office, Pete is practically shrieking into the phone, "They got MARRIED!" For the love of Harold and Maude! Clara enters and tells Pete he should really get going, so Pete barks into the phone for whoever it is to tell "those Panamanian criminals" to put Manolo under house arrest or ship's arrest or whatever. After a pause, he spits, "Fine, the brig" (hee) before slamming down the phone and telling Clara to get Benson. Clara, however, tells him Benson's already waiting, as they're late for their flight to Detroit, so Pete rushes out...

...and hurries for the elevator, an effort made hilarious by the way he's trying to go at top speed while gingerly holding a garment bag over one arm. In the elevator, Benson asks how he is in that tone most reserve for people who are hard of hearing, but this time Pete matches his volume: "Not great, Bob! Like many of Vincent Kartheiser's best deliveries, I can't possibly do it justice, but it's like he's mad at Benson for his mother, for Manolo and possibly even for being named "Bob." Also, there's this. Benson asks what's up, so Pete wonders if he doesn't already know that "your boyfriend Manolo" kidnapped his mother, married her at gunpoint and then threw her off a ship. Benson tells him to calm down and that he's sure he's exaggerating, and I know Pete's upset, but at the very least I'd point out that Dot said she wanted to go on a trip with Manolo in those exact words. If you want to discuss the fact that she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic, that's another conversation. Pete, however, barks that Benson is an accessory to murder, and when Benson assures him "Manny" wouldn't hurt a fly, Pete shrieks, "EVEN IF HE THOUGHT IT WAS RICH?" Hee. The door opens and two women get on, but although they lower their voices, the whispering is no less agitated as Benson, at least sounding discomfited, claims not to have known anything about this and Pete snits that ignorance won't be a solid defense. They reach the ground floor, and Pete bites out over his shoulder that Benson should get his own cab. Oh, Pete, how are you going to explain that to the company accountant... I mean, "Joan?"

Peggy puts the finishing touches on her lipstick, and as we see she's wearing a low-cut, cleavage-bearing short dress and sexy stockings, she struts out...

...and interrupts a meeting between Cutler, Ted and Harry in Ted's office to tell them she's leaving a little early, as she has plans, and she hopes that's okay? Ted and Harry are gaping way too hard to be able to use their words, but Cutler, while still noticing, smoothly assures her it's fine, so she smiles and gives a look in Ted's direction. Cutler then asks if she's got Chanel No. 5 on, and she confirms it. "It's all I wear." She struts out with some flair, turning back to give Ted an inscrutably sexy look before closing the door, and it's no Joan performance but she'd still be proud. Harry grins, "Vixen by night," while Ted, yet again, looks terrified. Ted, how have you survived in this business for twenty years?

Oh God, this scene. Pete, Benson and a couple Chevy guys enter that same lobby we saw Don, Ted, Roger and Cutler in right before they landed the account, only now we see much more clearly that there are a couple shiny cars in the middle of it. After Pete makes a snide comment about how Benson isn't feeling well and won't be joining them on their stop, Benson, who's probably been hearing shit like this all day, gets a sly look on his face and pauses in front of one of the cars, asking Pete if he's seen "this beauty." Pete says no, he hasn't in person, but correctly IDs it as a Camaro Z-28. He then basks in the Chevy guy's approval, but Benson suggests Pete try it, and when Pete tries to say they can't do that here, Benson replies that he did, just the week before. The Chevy guy confirms that it's their floor and they can do what they want, and when Ken warned Pete that he'd need to know where the land mines were buried, I doubt he realized Benson was one of them. Benson grabs the keys from their hiding place under the sun visor and holds them out, an expression on his face that reads as a bland smile if you're not looking for the "Gotcha, fucker" underneath, and Pete gets in, not realizing the worst is yet to come until he sees the gear shift by his right hand. He gives Benson an absolutely filthy look, and Benson, in a hilariously gleeful voice, replies that it's standard. Oh, stick shifts. You bring hilarity on The Amazing Race, and you bring hilarity on Mad Men. Although to be honest, the first time I watched Pete getting ready to tackle this task, I had to pause it for a couple minutes to brace myself for how uncomfortable it was. Pete tries to get away with just a rev of the engine, but no one is going to let him off that easy, least of all Benson, who tells him, "You looking for first? It's written right on there." Hee. Pete sourly tells him he's got it -- and then he backs the car right into the GM sign behind him, knocking it to the ground amid sounds of shattering glass and startled onlooker gasps. The Chevy guys are disgusted that Pete doesn't do stick, although to be fair, given Pete's driving abilities in general this might have happened with an automatic.

Peggy enters her building to find Ted waiting in front of her door. She's not thrilled, but she lets him in, whereupon he notes that she didn't bring her date home. She confesses she had a terrible time -- "he works in finance, and ate with his hands" -- not that it's any of Ted's business. He weakly tells her he doesn't know what they're doing, so she suggests he have his wife drop by again, before asking why Nan gave her that look on her way out -- did he tell his wife something about her? Ted retorts that he doesn't know why women do anything, least of all her "parading" her ass in front of him on her way to see another man, but she shoots back that she was merely following his lead! "You let Don terrify you into ignoring me, and now you're here..." Ted finishes, "...because I don't want anyone else to have you!" Well, that's direct, at least. Peggy tells him he should go, but he steps into her space and declares that he's going to leave his wife. She uncomfortably tells him not to say that, which is a good instinct because it never happens and as such is a curse even to say, but he tells her he loves her, and very soon they are going at it. It may be immoral, but it's still better than their schoolyard giggling.

Don and Megan are asleep when the phone rings, and Don groggily answers to find it's Betty calling with the news that Sally's been suspended for buying beer with a fake ID reading "Beth Francis." Don sits up, and Megan turns on her bedside lamp and listens with interest as Don bright-sides that at least they didn't kick her out. Betty, fighting off tears, tells Don that Henry's already in Albany and she's supposed to go up there tomorrow, and she knows Don's getting the boys on Thanksgiving Day but could he go pick Sally up tomorrow? She tells him she doesn't want to have "that conversation" with her mother-in-law, and I can surely understand that, but Don tells her he has a big meeting. Betty tells him Sally was drunk and got other girls drunk, and she's tried everything she can think of, everything her own mother did, but nothing's working. "The good is not beating the bad." Again on the verge of tears, she goes on that Sally needs more than she can give her, and Don calls her "Birdie" for the first time since they got divorced as he tells her it's not her fault. The use of that nickname isn't lost on Megan, but Don isn't looking her way as Betty goes on, "Don. She's from a broken home." This hits Don hard, not least because of his secret contribution to Sally's state of mind, but after he takes a few moments, he tells Betty that Pauline doesn't need to know; he'll grab Sally on Thanksgiving morning after he gets the boys. He adds that he's sorry, and after Betty hangs up, Megan asks if everything's okay, getting an obvious negative in response. She then asks if there's anything she can do, but after he looks at her, they settle for settling back into bed, with Megan putting a soothing arm across his chest...

...before we cross-fade to another couple lying in the dark, Peggy and Ted. Ted suggests they go to Hawaii for Christmas, and Peggy enjoys the suggestion, but after a long moment she suggests he go home. He tells her he doesn't want to, nor does he want to sneak around, but she replies that she doesn't want a scandal, and she can wait. Well, you said it, hon. He starts to kiss her again, but she reiterates he should go, so he gets in the shower...

...and then he's getting undressed as a sleepy Nan tells him to come to bed, and he's like, "Okay!" in a voice befitting someone who's between torture sessions. He is so not cut out for this, which I guess is the point. He gets into bed, and after Nan cuddles up and tells him he's working too hard, his eyes remain wide like he hadn't considered how hard this would be. Well, like many situations on this show, the alternative is to be Don. Embrace the pain.

Pete trudges up the stairs, and Clara asks what he's doing back. He sighs that he needs a place to live, as his tenant has already moved in and he's "done in Detroit." Clara's like, I seeeee, and then tells him Bud's been trying to reach him. Pete asks if they found Dot, but Clara's uncomfortable expression is her only answer, so Pete sighs and tells her to let everyone know he's back. Frankly, I'm surprised they weren't waiting in a tableau at the top of the stairs, but I suppose there's an episode quota on that sort of thing.

Joan is getting something out of a cabinet in the break room when Caroline pokes her head in and says she's got to run to the bank. Joan asks if she wants someone on Roger's desk, but Caroline tells her she's not sure he's coming in, and she's worried about him. Joan skeptically asks what's wrong, so Caroline tells her Margaret and Brooks are bleeding him dry. With a note of amusement, Joan tells her Roger loves it, but Caroline assures her he's "forlorn" and adds that she'd invite him to her place, but between her newly-teetotaling husband and her nightmare of a kid (I'm paraphrasing), she doesn't think he could handle it. She heads out, and Joan looks like she's having an idea that maybe doesn't taste all that great.

Ted comes in to see Don, and Don's like, good timing -- why don't you sit in on Hershey's, since I'm going to California and you'll be taking it over? Ted, however, tells him that's not why he's there, and Don, sensing the gravity, offers him a drink. Ted actually considers it for a long moment, but decides against it, and after he sits down, he tells Don he's not sure how to say this, but he wants to be the one to go to California. Don's like, well, we can't both go, and Ted says he knows -- he's the one who needs to start over while Don stays behind and puts all that "energy and optimism" into the business. I mean, I give Don a lot of shit, I think deservedly so, but I'm surprised even he isn't cracking up at the idea of him injecting optimism into anything. Don thinks Ted means to take Peggy with him, but Ted, once again acting like he's a murderer in a church confessional, tells him no -- he means to take his family. "It's my only chance, Don. I've got kids. I can't throw this away. I can't go on like this." Not that I think he won't appear at all in the final season, but I'll miss Kevin Rahm; he really brings a believable and much-needed humanity to Ted and to the show. In fact, all the major new office characters have been exceedingly enjoyable; I may not have been a fan of a good amount of this season but I certainly give the show credit for injecting significant new blood so deftly. Don's not unmoved, but tells Ted he only wishes he could help him; in response, Ted pleadingly tells Don he knows he's a good man underneath. "I need you to help me put three thousand miles between me and her, or my life is over." Don points out that his own decision wasn't made lightly, and from Ted's POV he could probably argue the point, but I can buy that a night in jail is enough to shake even Don. He adds that Megan's already being written out of her show, so it's too late, and Ted defeatedly closes his eyes before getting to his feet and shuffling to the door. Don tries to tell him his infatuation will go away, and again, I don't want to think about what that means about his current feelings for Megan, but Ted's only response is to request that Don have a drink before the meeting. Don's expression turns quizzical, so Ted goes on, "My father was...you can't stop cold like that." Interesting. Looks like Don isn't the only one who has a complex relationship with alcohol. I mean, not that he was the only one before. Don takes Ted's advice, however reluctantly...

...and then it's time for the Hershey's pitch. After talking about how overwhelmingly positive Hershey's image is with America, Don brightly tells a cock-and-bull story about how his father would take him to the candy store after Don had mowed the lawn and tell him he could have anything he wanted, and Don picked the Hershey's bar; for him, his father's love and the chocolate were tied up together. He goes on that this is the story they're going to tell -- "Hershey's is the currency of affection. It's the childhood symbol of love." Everyone smiles appreciatively, and one of the Hershey's execs notes that Don was "a lucky little boy." Everyone chuckles, but when Cutler starts engaging the Hershey's guys about media buys, Don looks over at Ted, and I hope Caroline doesn't mind me ripping her off, but "forlorn" is a great description of him now; he obviously really believes that his life as he's known it is about to end and is just devastated about it.

Don then looks down at his right hand, which starts to shake a little...and then he interrupts the Hershey's guys to tell them he has something to say, since he might not see them again. And how! All eyes go to him, and he takes a long moment to commit, but he finally launches into this, amid looks disbelieving and uncomprehending: "I was an orphan. I grew up in Pennsylvania, in a whorehouse. I read about Milton Hershey and his school in Coronet magazine or some other crap the girls left by the toilet, and I read that some orphans had a different life there. I could picture it. I dreamt of it -- being wanted, because the woman who was forced to raise me would look at me every day like she hoped I would disappear." Everyone in the room watches, frozen, as Don goes on that the closest he got to feeling wanted was when one of the girls had him go through her john's pockets while his attentions were elsewhere. "If I collected more than a dollar, she'd buy me a Hershey bar. And I would eat it alone, in my room, with great ceremony." This last bit is delivered with a smile through glistening eyes, but the smile fades, and Don puts a hand over his visage. We've seen him do this kind of thing before, but not going back so far and in such detail, and without taking the hand from his eyes, he finishes, "...feeling like a normal kid. It said sweet on the package" -- he looks up -- "it was the only sweet thing in my life." Well, if nothing else, this took Ted's mind off his problems. The older Hershey's guy asks Don if he actually wants to advertise that, but Don does the smiling-through-tears thing once more: "If I had my way, you would never advertise. You shouldn't have someone like me telling that boy what a Hershey bar is. He already knows."

Jon Hamm will be using this scene for his Emmy reel, no doubt, and rightly so; he's note-perfect, and if I've been down on Don this season it's because I've found the writing for him repetitive and predictable, but Hamm is always giving it his best. But given the look Ted's way before Don launched into this heartfelt speech, I wonder what was going through Don's mind -- did he finally realize that his pattern of escape wouldn't rid him of his demons? That, as the old saying goes, wherever you go, there you are? I don't really buy that the emotions Don was feeling about Hershey's, powerful as they obviously were, would be enough for him to complete torpedo a pitch like this, but it does make sense to me that he'd do it in aid of a bigger revelation that it's the way he's living his life that has to change, not where he's living it. That may make no sense, but it's a powerful scene, worthy of much analysis, not that anyone in the room agrees with me.

Cutler admirably tries to save the situation, but even he can't hide the irritation in his voice as he proclaims that Don's being modest, "but it's just this kind of theater that makes our work so different!" Hee. With looks Don's way ranging from pitying to baleful, the Hershey's guys, Cutler and Roger head out, leaving only Ted with Don, and Don wastes no time in calmly and definitively saying that Ted's going to California -- he wants him to. Flummoxed, Ted thanks him, and then Don goes out to Dawn to request his things. Roger rushes up and tells Don he shit the bed in there, but Don doesn't care, and when Roger asks if any of what he said is true, Don tersely tells him yes before saying he has to go. Probably mentally addressing Stan's earlier comment that he cares nothing for Dawn, he tells her, "Happy Thanksgiving, sweetheart," and she thanks him; she and Roger then silently watch as he heads off down the hall. I'd point out that now Stan isn't rid of Don, but the episode ain't over.

Pete and Bud are in the former's office hearing via speakerphone that their mother was determined to have been lost during a dance on the boat, and her body hasn't been recovered, as there are a lot of sharks off the coast of Martinique. He goes on that neither government is going to investigate, and the cruise line has fulfilled its obligations. After a rant from Pete about international waters, the cruise-ship guy tells Pete he has a PI ready to board the ship to get Manolo, and there are also wheels they can grease in Panama to have Manolo prosecuted, but the expenses might add up. We haven't heard the evidence, of course, but it does sound like everyone is certain this was murder for money, as the ship guy tells Pete that now that Manolo's aware of Dot's "limited financial resources," he may flee. Pete asks if he can call the guy back, and he and Bud sit for a moment in a silence borne of the uncomfortable realization that they just don't want to spend the cash. Bud finally gives voice to the feeling, saying that it won't bring her back. "She's in the water. With Father." Pete notes that she loved the sea, and then the two brothers sit in silence, each gazing at the only family he has left.

Peggy's typing when Ted comes in; she looks up and smiles, but that fades in a hurry when she sees the look of grim death on his face. She jumps to the conclusion that he told Nan about them and starts to berate him for it, but he tells her that's not it -- he's going to California. Peggy immediately assumes Don's to blame, and starts to rush off to confront him, but Ted stops her -- Don gave up his spot for Ted to save Ted's family. "The world out there... I have to hold onto them or I'll get lost in the chaos." Peggy doesn't know what to say, but when Ted tells her he loves her so much he can't be around her, she angrily orders him to get out. He tries to tell her that someday, she'll be glad he made this decision, to which she spits, "Well, aren't you lucky? To have decisions." I'm guessing Joan's getting a visit before the end of the day. Ted leaves, and Peggy folds her arms and starts doing that bobble-head thing again. I can't unsee it!

Don arrives home, and Megan greets him with a big smile and the news that Dawn called to say there's a partner's meeting at nine AM about California. Don at least doesn't drag it out in telling her that they can't go to California right now, and in response, Megan gives him a look that warns that something new is coming; it's kind of "this is the last straw" posture. As soon as she gets her words together, she reminds him that she told Mel, and her agent has a bunch of meetings lined up out there "and the train is leaving the station!" Don tries to blame the agency, but she's like, "Fuck the agency!" It's muted out, which causes a reflexive but unfortunate callback to this, but Megan's done with humor: "I don't even know why we're fighting for this anymore. I don't know what it is; we don't have any kids." She tells him he wants to be alone, with his liquor and his ex and his screwed-up kids; when he tries to defend them, she goes deeper: "I love them to death. I used to feel pity for them, but now I realize we're all in the same boat." He tries to tell her he'll he out there all the time, and they'll be bicoastal, but she's had enough and heads for the coat closet. He tells her he loves her, but she replies she can't be there and walks out. My great friend Sarah D. Bunting wrote an excellent piece about why this should be the end for Megan, given how well Paré portrayed the idea that "a door has closed and disappeared into its wall." And if Don's going to successfully change his life, I really don't think she can be along for the ride anyway, both from a story standpoint and for his success' sake. Anyway, whether it's for good or not, she's gone...

...so let's cut to Pete, who's on Thanksgiving morn dropping off a bunch of his mother's furniture with Trudy, although there's more to come, as he couldn't take it all. "I already looked like the Beverly Hillbillies with the chair tied to the roof." Heh. Trudy smiles that she doesn't want Dot's things, but Pete good-humoredly says Bud isn't getting it all, "and I'm not moving everything to California with me." Oh. OH. Ted's one thing, but losing Pete is going to sting from a comic-relief standpoint, among others. If that's what's happening, NOT GREAT, SHOW! Also, it's kind of hilarious that he's moving to a driving culture after what happened with Chevy, but maybe his take-away is that he needs more road experience. Also, I suppose Ted does like him, even if he likes Peggy a whole lot more, and there's the Bob Benson factor too. Trudy tells him she'd invite him to Thanksgiving at her parents', but she guesses he needs to be alone; he thinks she's being cruel, but she demurs: "It's going to take you a moment to realize where you are. You're free. Free of her; you're free of them [his family]; you're free of everything." It seems just a shade cavalier for her to be saying this when one of the things he's freeing himself of is his daughter, but I suppose he was ready enough to do that without going to California, and Trudy knows that. Pete tells her, I think referring to their marriage, that this isn't how he wanted it to happen, but all she says in return is that now he knows that. He asks if he can say goodbye to Tammy if he doesn't wake her, and Trudy nods her assent...

...and then we cut to him stroking her hair as Trudy watches from the doorway, a hint of a fond smile flickering through in spite of herself. Now that I think of it, I don't suppose we'll be seeing much of her in the final season either. Another one I'll truly miss, but her story does seem done.

But the episode is not, as when Don climbs the stairs, he finds all the partners assembled already. He questioning says he was told nine, and Bertram snarks, "Right on time. Impressive." Bertram is off the chain, ladies and gentlemen. Roger tells him they need to have a serious talk, and Don starts to say he can explain about the meeting. I for one would like to hear that, but Cutler tells him that the meeting "and most of your questionable behavior" is beyond explanation. Don, sensing which way the wind is blowing especially when Joan casts her eyes downward, tries to inject a note of bravado by asking if he should sit, but Bertram, as I mentioned, isn't playing as he strokes his goatee: "Yes." Brrrr! Don tries to say he's tolerated a lot from all of them, but Bertram intones that he doesn't have to defend himself, as this isn't a trial. "The verdict has already been reached." Roger tells him they've decided he needs to take a few months off to regroup, and Don wonders how Ted can go to California, then, but Joan pipes up that Ted feels confident he can oversee Peggy from LA. Don doesn't blow up Ted's spot with a comment about that, nor does he bring up the irony that he's the one whose idea it was to merge the two companies, but does say he wants a return date, which Bertram denies him. He asks if they really all agree, looking Roger's way, but Roger can only ask him to try to see it from their side. Don leaves without another word, and on the stairs it looks like it might be sinking in how truly alone he is...

...and that's punctuated by the elevator door opening to reveal Duck and a middle-aged man; sizing this up in about half a second, Don puts on a hilariously sarcastic smile and remarks, "You're early." Hee. Duck at least apologizes for that before introducing "Lou Avery" from Dancer Fitzgerald, and Don grits through his fake smile that they've met. Lou asks if he's going down and pushes the button for him, and Don gets on, looking shaken. But does he think he's beyond saving? Hold that thought...

...while we check in on Joan, who opens up for Roger to see he's got a box of Ocean Spray cranberry sauce. "We couldn't send them back." Hee. As an instrumental version of "Moon River" plays in the background, Roger enters to see that Benson is there, awesomely wearing a Thanksgiving apron and his tie tucked into his shirt as he carves the turkey while Kevin looks on from his high chair. Roger asks what Benson is doing there, but Joan warns him that she's inviting him into Kevin's life, not hers. Roger accepts the condition and greets Bob (finally, I'll give in and call him "Bob," but only because Pete has made me say "NOT GREAT, BOB" every time he's on screen) civilly, and Bob confides that Gail got her hair done for him, NOT THAT WE GET TO SEE IT OR HER. Roger kneels down to say hello to his son, and Joan watches warmly...

...while, as "Moon River" continues to play, Stan finds Peggy working in Don's office. He says he thought she left, but she tells him she's got too much to do, and she's in Don's office because that's where everything is. Well, also because she's effectively going to be the new Don to Avery's new Ted, I'd wager, but she probably doesn't know all that yet. And it's a little sad she's not (I assume) going to spend the holiday with her family, but I can only imagine she doesn't want to hear any I-told-you-so's about Abe, not to mention the cat.

Bobby and Gene are in the front seat with Don, with the former asking questions about Hershey the town (from that and the fact they don't seem fazed by being in Pennsylvania, I'm guessing Hershey is their destination) and the chocolate, when Don brings the car to a stop. Sally asks what they're doing, and Bobby points out it's a bad neighborhood, but Don gets them out of the car, and they walk across the street... to view the building Don in which grew up. As a song I remember fondly from childhood plays, "Both Sides, Now" written by Joni Mitchell and performed by Judy Collins, a song that's in a way about taking a grownup view of life, Don tells the kids that it's where he grew up, and he and Sally exchange a look; as I said in the recaplet, he's got some work to do, but the inquisitive expression on her face suggests this is a step in the right direction. I'll leave you with one of the later lyrics of the song: