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The overly serious credits begin with a definition of rivalry over a split screen of Anthony and Michael. The definition is, "Two striving to obtain what only one can possess." Tonight, the power struggle will escalate, and someone will pay the price for his or her innocence. And don't forget that there is $200,000 and a trip around the world on the line. Two more people will be banished to Loser Island, but sadly there is no shot of the goats to represent Aruba this time. Let's do it.
Previously onLove Cruise: Lisa stroked her hair a lot, and ruined Greg and Toni's budding relationship, because she ruins everything. Everyone thought Jeanette had called Adrian a deadbeat dad, even though she claimed that she didn't. As a result, Greg and Jeanette were voted off. Anthony picked Lisa as a partner, because her low self-esteem made her easy prey. Like any predator, Anthony goes after the young (Laura) and the weak (Lisa). Michael continued to fly under the radar.
Round Four. Ten Singles Remaining. Day Seven. Michael shoots a really cheesy wink at someone. In an interview, Michael says that he's persuasive, and that he can convince the men to vote the way he wants. He has made friends with some of the girls, hoping to influence their votes as well. Overall, he feels that he's "become kind of a chess master on board." That's great, but I worry that he's making his power move too early.
Anthony feeds Lisa some crap to the effect that he thought he made a love match with Laura, but it was bull, and he doesn't want to be manipulated by women, because he's true to himself. Who talks like that? I can only imagine how shitty his alleged screenplays are if that's how he speaks. What would you do if you saw a movie where one character said things like, "I live true to only me, and that's what I'll be for the rest of my life"? I would laugh and laugh. Michael voice-overs that Anthony has been playing the game from the start by trying to make "inroads with some of the women," so he's moved up to the top of Michael's threat list. Anthony continues furiously shoveling the bullshit with Lisa, who voice-overs that Anthony "has this complexity that [she's] never seen with anybody else." I can't believe she's buying his crap! Anthony feeds Lisa's ego by giving her compliments, and she's all, "Oh, really?" and fluttering her eyelashes. God, I loathe her. She fishes for compliments all the time, and then acts like she can't believe that the men are saying such nice things to her. Ugh.
In an interview, Michael says that Anthony's game plan is "to use his good looks and poetry and all of this other crap he has going on to influence and manipulate some of the women." Well, I'm glad that someone on the ship sees through Anthony's ruse. The night of the pajama party, Michael asks whether Anthony would mind if he made a move on Lisa. Anthony says that he wouldn't mind at all, and that he's not the jealous type. Yeah, he doesn't get jealous. He just trashes the woman after she dumps him. Michael says that if Anthony were serious about Lisa, Michael would step aside. Michael voice-overs that he's not really interested in Lisa, but he's trying to keep her from Anthony. I'm all for anything that shoots down the Smarm King and the Queen of Need, but it bothers me a little bit that Michael is being so manipulative. I guess I need to remind myself that it's only a game. I'm sure that someone will remind me before the episode is over. Anthony voice-overs that Michael is kidding himself if he thinks that he can manipulate Lisa. Yeah, because Lisa has been such a shrewd judge of character thus far, like when she picked Anthony. Shut up, Anthony. Michael says that he doesn't want to hurt Lisa.
Michael and Lisa stand on the deck at night, in their pajamas. Michael asks Lisa what she thinks about hooking up with people on the boat. Lisa voice-overs that she doesn't want to lead Michael on. Don't flatter yourself! Lisa says that Michael asked to kiss her, and she felt uncomfortable, but didn't want to reject him, so she kissed him. Interesting that we never see footage of him asking, or them kissing. Then there is thunder! Maybe Lisa will get struck by lightning.
Lisa returns to her cabin and asks Anthony about the other girls on the boat. Anthony says that he doesn't feel anything for them, only Lisa. In an interview, Lisa sings Anthony's praises, and claims that he's somebody she wants in her life. Then they show footage of Lisa getting into bed with Anthony on a totally different night than the footage showed moments before, unless she changed her nightgown before going to bed or something.
Day Eight. Lisa confesses to Tomiko that she kissed Anthony and Michael last night! Oh, my God! She kissed two men in one night! She might as well slap a scarlet A on her chest. Lisa is scandalized by her own behavior, but she couldn't wait to come and tell Tomiko how bad she was. Lisa says that she's not interested in Michael that way, but she doesn't want to hurt him. Tomiko advises Lisa not to do anything that she wouldn't want done to herself.
The Gender Juries convene. Michael announces that he's voting for Lisa, because he was played, and she's trying to play him against Anthony. Lisa tells the women her worst fear is that people don't believe or trust her. She cries, and Toni comforts her. Anthony and his stupid bucket hat tell the men that he promised not to vote Lisa off. I don't understand why it matters. If everyone else agrees to get rid of Lisa, who cares how Anthony votes? Meanwhile, the women are writing down their votes, which I thought was totally illegal. Michael claims that "the integrity of the jury system is broken down if [they] are off making promises before [they] get there." Adrian points out to Anthony that Lisa kissed him and then blabbed about it to others and turned it all around. Anthony decides that he's going to be loyal to his brothers and vote for Lisa. Toni counts the women's votes and finds one vote for Adrian and one for Ralph. The men have made their decision. Michael says that it's never fun, and Ralph disagrees, because he thinks it's a blast. Michael immediately says, "Yeah, I'm with you." Everyone busts a gut laughing. Tension breaker. Had to be done. Toni counts another vote for Ralph and another vote for Adrian. Instead of revealing the winner, we go straight to the Elimination Ceremony.
Justin calls Toni up front, since she has the Switch Card. Lisa stands and announces that everyone loves this person, and she's sorry to say that they've chosen Adrian. Ralph stands and I think he talked for a really long time and they had to edit it out, because he suddenly announces that they voted off Lisa. Now it's speech time. Lisa says that she's not surprised, but wants everyone to know that she has been real on the ship. Adrian thanks the women for keeping him so long, and Toni blows him a kiss. Everyone claps. Justin reminds Toni that she can do whatever she wants with the Switch Card. Toni starts crying and says that she loves Adrian to death, but "this. Is. A game. No ill will. Nothing." Toni wipes away a tear and dramatically rips up the card. God, I love her. She cracks me up. In an interview, Michael points out that Toni only won the Switch Card because Adrian hauled her around on his shoulders, and then she didn't even save him when she had the chance.
Tomiko hugs Adrian goodbye, and tells him that she tried to save him. Tomiko says that people thought Adrian was too quiet, "and somebody even mentioned Chicago." Adrian says that if he hears anything else about Chicago, he's going to scream. So has the Chicago alliance made itself known? I found that conversation very puzzling. Anthony comes to visit Lisa while she packs. Anthony says that the jury "really slimed [him]," and admits that he voted for her. Anthony keeps trying to justify why he voted for her, but I don't think Lisa is buying it. For once.