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Apparently, they are going to have a different credit sequence on each episode. I guess it makes up for the huge amount of commercials. Over the letterboxed shots of water, the announcer intones, "The power of words. In a game of love and money, the line between friend and foe is erased and an offhanded comment can be lethal." Tonight, rumors will run rampant. Aw, yeah. Two more people will go to the land of garbage and goats. Two others will come one step closer to winning $200,000 and a trip around the world. The announcer asks, "Who do you trust?" I would have to say that the answer is, "None of the people on that ship, and that includes the captain, crew, cameramen, and especially the producers."
Previously on Love Cruise: Adrian and Tomiko won the salsa contest, and Adrian got the Switch Card. Laura found Anthony "too intense" (read: too cheesy) and hooked up with Tony. Anthony took the opportunity to trash Laura completely to the other guys, and they voted her off. The women voted for Adrian so that he would have to use his Switch Card to save himself. Adrian chose to send Tony to the land of garbage and goats with Laura. Then Adrian gave a vitriolic speech to the effect that women want choice, but that when you give them choice, they just hand the decision back to the men so that they don't have to take responsibility. But isn't that their choice? Jeanette didn't like Adrian's comments, but Adrian wasn't having it, and gave her the buzzer, which was so rude.
Andrea talks to Adrian about his little speech. You know, if you close your eyes, Andrea's voice sounds exactly like Kathy Griffin's. It's eerie. I wish Kathy Griffin were on this ship, even though she's married. Did you know that her wedding entrance music was "Sister Christian"? That fucking rocks. Anyway, Adrian backpedals, claiming that he said "most women" are that way. In an interview, Andrea says that the women would have voted Adrian off whether he had the Switch Card or not. And speaking as someone who transcribed Adrian's speech word for word, he did not say "most women." And he can claim that he only meant the women on the ship, and not all women, but I still think he has some issues. Then again, so does everyone else on the ship. In an interview, Adrian says that Andrea thinks Jeanette should win because she has a daughter. But Adrian has a daughter too, and he's "a single...what?" Um, "father"? And by the way, great example to set for your kids by going on this show. Can you imagine going to school and being like, "Did you see my mommy on Love Cruise last night? She kissed that one guy, and then got drunk and threw up, and then talked behind people's backs. It was awesome!"
The Sad Piano Music of Toni's Concern plays as Toni asks Jeanette whether she's prepared for the possibility of being voted off. Jeanette is sure that she will be, because the guys are upset with what she said to Adrian. Toni asks Jeanette whether she called Adrian a deadbeat father, and Jeanette is shocked at the suggestion, saying that she doesn't know Adrian that way. Andrea says that they stood up for Jeanette with Adrian on this issue. Jeanette goes on and on insisting that she would never use that label, and that one of the guys lied to get Adrian's vote. I still think it was Anthony. I hope it wasn't Michael. Or someone else I like. Okay, I guess just Michael. Jeanette says that she needs to defend herself before being voted off.
Jeanette tells Adrian that she never called him a deadbeat dad. Jeanette feels that if he wants to vote her off for the things she did say, then that is fine, but that she never said "deadbeat dad." Jeanette cries and denies it some more. Adrian doesn't really seem to get the point, so Jeanette restates her case. Adrian says that he will accept her apology. Jeanette isn't apologizing, because she never said it. I thought Jeanette did a good job of stating her case and not getting sidetracked, but I don't know whether Adrian believed her. In an interview, Adrian says that he's still voting for Jeanette, because people have to learn that you can't treat others like that. Whatever, Adrian. You have no credibility with me.
At dinner, Toni rubs Greg's arm. Toni voice-overs that she knows that Greg likes her, and that she wishes he would let everyone else know that. Lisa pouts because no one is giving her compliments. Toni gives Greg a kiss and heads off to bed. Greg follows soon afterward. In their cabin, Greg hops into bed. We see them make out on the surveillance cam, and it's totally like amateur porn until Greg gets up and puts something over the camera. The morning, Toni insists that she didn't have sex with Greg, but that she did "rub up on him." I really did not need that much detail. Toni hugs Greg and calls him "a guy you take home to mom." I hope her mom didn't watch this episode, because after seeing that surveillance cam, I don't know whether she would want Greg around. Or Toni, for that matter.
Andrea and Lisa talk on deck. In an interview, Andrea says that Lisa came up and told her that Greg might not be into Toni, because he was hitting on her the other day. Lisa omits the part where she was totally flirting back and encouraging him. Lisa tells Andrea that she's voting for Greg because he doesn't feel the same way about Toni. Lisa constantly rubs her hair and it's really annoying, as she says that she thinks Greg would choose her in the round, and that she doesn't want to be in a position to hurt Toni. Man, first she has no self-esteem, and now she's totally full of herself. Andrea agrees that if Toni is going to get hurt, she wants Greg gone, too. Toni walks up and asks what that was all about. Lisa scurries away like the rat she is.
Andrea drama-queens for a few minutes before cryptically saying, "It's not the same for both of you. The feelings." Oh, just come right out and say what you have to say. First of all, Lisa should have gone to Toni first. And second of all, Andrea is enjoying this moment way too much. And third of all, these people have known each other a week. Seven days. They act like they're breaking up a marriage on the silver anniversary or something. Toni gets upset and runs away, and Andrea chases after her. Toni fumes that she's not going to date anymore, because this always happens. Andrea tells Toni to trust herself, and reminds her that Anthony called the ship "the S.S. Rumor." Toni cries and says this always happens to her. Andrea comforts Toni, but pushes Toni's head down on her shoulder so that the camera will get the best angle.
So what would be the logical thing to do ? Toni should talk to Greg, right? Michael recaps for us that if Andrea, Jeanette, or Adrian got voted off, he probably wouldn't use his switch card. Tomiko doesn't think that Adrian will get voted off. In an interview, Toni says that Lisa told Andrea that Greg was hitting on her, and now Toni doesn't know how to vote. Maybe she could ask Greg if Lisa is being truthful? Just a thought. But, no. It's time for the Gender Juries to convene.
The men gather. Anthony says that he's voting for Jeanette because Adrian is his boy, and they've all "formed a pretty strong brotherhood." I wonder what's going to happen to that brotherhood in a few days when they need to start backstabbing each other as their numbers dwindle. Adrian makes a speech about Jeanette not apologizing, but instead claiming that she didn't say he was a deadbeat dad. So he's voting for Jeanette. Well, I'm glad her speech got through to him.
Jeanette tells the women that she's not as vehement that Adrian needs to leave as she was last time around. Greg says that he narrowed it down to Jeanette and Andrea. Jeanette has been out of line, so he casts his vote for Jeanette. He also thinks he needs to give Andrea another chance.
Lisa holds her hat onto her head, like, just take it off or put your hair in a ponytail or something. God, she's annoying. Lisa tells the other women that she "heard something yesterday that made [her] think that [Greg] may not have the same depth of feeling as [Toni]." Lisa admits that Greg gave her these huge compliments. And she wasn't fishing for them at all. Actually, she was fishing for them so hard that she was practically holding a rod and reel. Lisa wonders whether Greg was complimenting the other women, too. No one really says that he was. Andrea pipes up that she's been wondering who is fake and who is genuine. I'll give her a hint. None of them on that ship are genuine. That should make it easier for her. Toni says that she'll go along with whatever the other women decide. The other women all agree to vote for Greg, and Toni goes along with it. Over on the men's side, Greg tells the men that he's really into Toni, and that he misjudged her on the first day. Aw. Poor Bug-Eye's one chance at love, and those harpies stole it away from her because of stupid Lisa and her stupid rumors. Toni thinks it would "blow their mind" if she announced the vote.