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They already have new credits. I don't understand why, but here we go. An announcer asks, "What does it mean to have it all? If you're lucky enough to find love and money, could you be clever enough to hold onto it?" Is this a treasure hunt? I think most people earn money, and don't just find it. "Oh, look! It's a big fucking pile of money! I'm so lucky to have found it. Now if I were only clever enough to hold onto it." B/M needs to hire some new copywriters. There are seven couples left, "but the stakes have been raised." I think that last line was supposed to read, "but we've completely changed the rules." Now there is something called a "Switch Card," and couples compete for it. The winner gets to reverse one decision made by the "elimination jury." Hey, I thought they were called the Gender Jury! They could at least be consistent with the crazy names. Next think you know, they're going to start calling the boat the S.S. Pacific Princess instead of the Mandalay. ["Hee hee! 'Mandalay.'" -- Wing Chun] The winning couple gets a trip around the world, and $200,000. The losers have to go to Loser Island, which I have discovered is not a garbage dump filled with goats at all! It's Aruba! Oh, what a punishment -- to have to go to Aruba and not be allowed to hang out on the ship with a bunch of whiny, self-obsessed brats. Oh, no! Don't vote me off! I wouldn't want to have to spend time in...Aruba.
Previously on Love Cruise: sixteen singles boarded the boat. Each woman chose a man for her partner. Gina made bitchy comments about Toni Bug-Eye's gigantic fake boobs. Yikes! They just showed the scariest shot of Toni flexing her muscles and sticking out her breasts. More and more, I'm starting to think that Toni is a dude. She can get implants and dye her hair all she wants -- she's very manly. Gina and Kenny G got voted off the ship. Laura and Anthony were considered a power couple, but Tony had eyes for Laura, too.
Round Two. Fourteen singles remain. It's Day Three. Hey, the last elimination took place on Day Three as well. And now they're having breakfast. So do they have the vote before breakfast, or is this just carefully edited not to show Gina and Kenny G eating waffles with everyone else? No clue. At breakfast, Michael comments that he didn't have very good questions for the first Hot Seat, but now that he's getting to know people, he will have better questions. Michael voice-overs something I think we heard in the previous episode to the effect that the singles can't miss an opportunity to hang out and bond with people.