|
||||
Jack glances up and sees the confiscated Virgin Junkie statues on the shelf. Locke notices him looking and says he had to confiscate them from Charlie. "His heroin stash. I figured it might have therapeutic value, if it ever came to that," he says. Jack asks if he was just going to leave them in the statues. Turns out Locke wasn't really interested in smashing open the statues, but Jack can, if he wants to. Or maybe there was a Danish cartoonist on Flight 815 who can do it.
Locke starts to leave, and Jack asks him for the combination. Locke hesitates, then launches into one of his sanctimonious soliloquies about how he's going to give Jack the benefit of the doubt (big of him) and assume he's asking for the combo in case Locke is ever incapacitated, and not because he doesn't trust Locke. "That it would be irresponsible for just one of us to have access to this room, rather than this being an issue of trust." Gotta say that it doesn't sound like Jack's the one with the trust issues, here, Locke. Jack just dryly notes that there are "a lot of cliffs" on this island. Niiiiiiice dig at Locke about Boone. Point for Jack! Locke stares at him for a moment, before nodding and then suggesting that they should agree to consult the other before opening the door. Jack readily agrees, as he's taking the key to the case from around his neck. "Right seven, left thirty-three, right eighteen," says Locke, and asks if Jack needs to write it down, and Jack all smug says that he's got it, like they have to turn even this into a dick-measuring thing. Jack starts to leave, but Locke stops him: "And Jack, you may want to consider locking the medicine in here too." Jack wants to know why he'd need to do that.
As if to answer, we cut to Sawyer, who's shirtless, strolling out of the surf and razzing Charlie, who's setting up a tent on the beach: "Well, well. Look who had to relocate from the suburbs!" He blathers on about how it's just like a woman: she keeps the house, while Charlie gets the crappy apartment. You know, the kind of garbage that's completely unacceptable from men with worse hair and softer stomachs. Charlie refuses to take his bait, even as Sawyer mockingly praises Charlie for sinking to a new low (meaning that he's hated even worse than Sawyer is now) with the baby-stealing and almost baby-drowning. "You even made Locke take a swing at you! Hell, that's like getting Gandhi to beat his kids." And then I had to stop working on the recap and go lie down for several hours because Locke was compared to Gandhi. Remember that time "Gandhi" conked Sayid on the head? Or was that Locke?
“ 'Show me how you con people, Sawyer.' Because asking the con man to get out would be a dumb idea, I suppose. ”
Charlie just calmly asks Sawyer if he shouldn't be more concerned about Jack ransacking his tent. Sawyer looks down the beach, and sure enough
Sawyer angrily stomps over and demands to know what Jack's doing. Jack's just taking back the medicine that Sawyer apparently stole from the hatch, which Sawyer says he was just stealing back, or re-stealing, I guess, since it was in his stash when he left. "You don't have a stash anymore," says Jack, and Sawyer growls that Jack doesn't want to do this: "Just give me the pills, we'll forget it ever happened." Jack asks, "Are you threatening me?" kind of incredulously. Sawyer says, "Last chance, Doc," and intensifies the glare. Jack's all "later!" and strolls off; Sawyer seethes two holes into his back, thinking, "I wish I knew how to quit you."
Flashback, Sawyer's still shirtless, like this episode is going for some kind of record. He's in bed, either pre- or post-coital with a brunette whom he's nuzzling and asking, "What do you want, right now?" "Just you," she whispers. They make out a little bit, until his eye catches the clock on the night table. He says he's gotta go, or he'll be late for the meeting he told her about. She says, kiddingly, that if he's got another date, he can just say so. "I can only wrap my mind around one woman at a time," he says, getting dressed, "but I appreciate the permission." He grabs his briefcase, which opens, spilling bundles of money everywhere. "You weren't exactly supposed to see that," says Sawyer, chagrined. By which he means, she was supposed to see exactly that, and this is exactly like the other con he was pulling.
The difference here, though, is that she doesn't fall for it; she giggles and can't believe he's serious, that he just happens to have a suitcase full of cash and the lock just happens to break. Sawyer stares at her. She scootches forward on the bed and grabs some of the money from the floor, evading Sawyer as he tries to stop her, and discovers that it's not real money. "Are you trying to con me? What, I ask you what all the money's for and you do some song and dance about an investment or something, and then I say, 'Hey, you know, I've got some money'?" Sawyer sits on the end of the bed, listening, and then says, "Look, you got me. Good for you. No harm, no foul." He gets up to go, and she tells him that he should have done his homework, since she "didn't take anything from him in the divorce. I'm not even worth your trouble." Sawyer looks like this is news to him. "Shame on me," he says. And then, she says this: "I want you to show me what you do," and she crosses the room to get close and says, "Show me how you con people, Sawyer." Because asking the con man to get out would be a dumb idea, I suppose.
“ 'What do you mean her hands were tied?' asks Jack, even though I'm pretty sure English is his first language. 'They're back,' spits Ana-Lucia. Yes, and suddenly a lot more ineffectual than they have been up until now, apparently. ”
Jack strolls through the jungle. Ana catches up with him, asks him if he got the combo. Jack nods. "Nice. I didn't think it would be easy convincing your pal to give it up." Jack finally deigns to turn and look at the person speaking to him. "That's the nice thing about you people: you're not scared enough," she continues, and Jack thinks that's funny, that she would think they're not scared enough. "Same reason we can't talk anyone into joining the army. Everyone around here actually thinks they're safe," says Ana. What do you propose, instituting a terror alert level system? Target your recruitment at the poor and uneducated Lostaways? "Trust me, Ana. No one thinks we're safe," says Jack, and he starts walking again. Ana catches up again, and asks him what the combination is. Jack just stares at her, until she finally says she was just kidding. Jack smiles, but he doesn't seem to think it's all that funny; it's more like a "you peoples is driving me crazy" type of smile.
Sun's working in her garden, having finally had her fill of sex with Jin, I suppose. There's rustling in the bushes, giving her pause. She goes back to work, then hears more rustling. Then she actually sees grass moving, but since not much of it is moving, it can't be Lostzilla. Maybe Lostzilla's son? Instead, it's Vincent, who leaps out of the bushes and runs around all over her garden, tail wagging furiously. Vincent knows where the garden is, hey? I think maybe they should post a guard on the garden to protect it from that fat bastard Vincent. But Sun seems happy to see him nonetheless. She speaks to him in Korean and smiles.
Then thunder rumbles, Sun looks up, and it starts pouring rain instantly. Suddenly someone jams a bag over her head, binds her wrists, and drags her away while she screams, and Vincent does nothing. I like Vincent and everything, he's quite a friendly dog. But he brings nothing to the table as far as I'm concerned. And if he doesn't start contributing something -- well, he'd be just as "friendly" with barbecue sauce and a side of slaw. I'm just saying.
Out on the beach, Sawyer's scrambling in out of the rain into his tent, and ordering Kate to do the same, but she says she's enjoying it. Sawyer drags her in anyway for some reason. Somehow, over all their nonsense, they hear Sun screaming, and they run off into the jungle towards her.
They find Sun, scratched up and unconscious, lying on the ground. Kate checks, discovers she's breathing, and Sawyer yells for her to go get Jack. He actually has to say it a couple of times, like, thanks for your help, Kate.
Sawyer carries Sun back to the beach, and Locke comes up, all concerned, wanting to know what happened. She "fell off a cliff," Locke. Sawyer takes Sun to her tent, and Jack's right there, asking if she was conscious or said anything. That's a big negatory, good buddy. Jin shows up, yelling in Korean, so Jack calms him down, telling him she's going to be all right. He asks Sawyer where he found her. "I heard her scream. Found her out in the jungle about half a click from here," he says. Kate says she was out cold and her hands were tied. "What do you mean her hands were tied?" asks Jack, even though I'm pretty sure English is his first language. "They're back," spits Ana-Lucia. Yes, and suddenly a lot more ineffectual than they have been up until now, apparently.
The tribal council is standing on the beach, and Locke's completely puzzled. "They told us they would leave us alone," he says. Yeah, how disillusioning it would be to find out they can't trust the Others. Jack snaps that the Others apparently broke their promise, but Locke is all wanting to give them the benefit of the doubt: "We don't even know what happened!" Sawyer silently watches the bickering. Ana asks Kate where they found her, and is told it was just outside her garden. "We should take a look aroundwith guns," says Ana-Lucia. Yeah, it's been days since she shot anybody; she must be going crazy. You know how when you read the fortune in a fortune cookie but add "in bed" to the end of it to make it more entertaining? I think Ana-Lucia probably adds "with guns" to the end of her sentences for the same reason: "We should go clubbingwith guns." "This week is a good time for you to make some decisionswith guns."
But Locke nixes that, seemingly against Jack's wishes: "If we arm up we're just as likely to shoot each other as we are one of them." Well, Ana-Lucia is, anyway. So Jack says they'll wait for Sun to wake up and tell them what happened -- and then they're going to do something about it. "Sounds like a plan," says Locke, and the group breaks up, Ana-Lucia looking disgusted about the general unwillingness of this group to shoot people. Soif they can't take guns with them, they're not going to check out the crime scene at all? That makes a lot of sense.
Well, Kate and Sawyer will. They're walking in the jungle, discussing whether it's even worth it, since, as Kate points out, the Others usually don't leave any trail. Sawyer asks her if the whole scenario makes any sense to her: "Think about it. First off, how'd she get away? The woman doesn't weigh 100 pounds soaking wet." Kate figures that Sun was fighting for her life, and when that's the case, "people are capable of almost anything." Sawyer points out, "You couldn't get away. You versus Sun -- hot oil death match -- my money's on you, Sheena." Is that a spoiler for a sweeps episode?
Sawyer spots something hanging on a branch, and it's a hood -- just like, Kate notes, the one the Others put over her head. "No, it's not. This one's black, different weave. It's all in the details -- and they're wrong." Yes, it's odd that the feral tribe on the deserted island don't have a matching set of kidnap hoods to use, but I'm sure they get by, Sawyer. Kate seems to buy this nonsense, though: "Well, if it wasn't them, then who?" Sawyer just looks at her. She's incredulous: "What are you saying, one of us did it? Who the hell would want to go after Sun?" Sawyer says there's not much "upside" to scaring the crap out of 46 people. "Unless you're trying to con them into joining an army." And they stare at each other, without either of them answering a fairly crucial question: Exactly what does Ana-Lucia gain by having more people train with her and Jack?
“ Sawyer and Cassidy smile at each other. I can't say for sure, not being a con artist, but I don't think it's a bright idea to share private smiles with your accomplice while the con is still going on. ”
Flashback to Sawyer scribbling $1,299 and $1,399 on price tags attached to some crappy necklaces. At some point, I forget when, we learn that this woman's name is Cassidy, so I'm just going to start calling her that now. She's quite the pessimist, pointing out that the necklaces are junk. "A five-year-old could tell that." Cassidy, you're coming dangerously close to figuring out what a "con" actually is. Sawyer: "They ain't going to be looking at the necklaces; they're going to be looking at the price tags. It's all in the details, Dimples." Sure thing, Stubble. Cassidy wants to know what happens if they get caught, but Sawyer says they won't, as he puts a Band-Aid on across his nose. "Anybody goes to the cops, the only thing they're going to remember is a guy that looks like he's been in a bar fight." Cassidy admits that she's a little scared. "Well, here's the good news, baby: everybody's scared. The thing they're scared of most is missing an opportunity." That's some real deep bullshit, Sawyer.
We're at "Eric's Expert Service," and apparently Eric believes providing "expert service" means "self-serve," which is what one guy's doing, pumping gas into a red convertible, and his buddy (or perhaps life partner) is coming out of the store with bags of chips and whatnot. Sawyer furtively approaches, asking them if they want to buy some necklaces. He shows them the necklaces, draped across jeweller's velvet. One dude asks where Sawyer got them. "Where do you think?" snaps Sawyer, but I guess politeness isn't really a necessity in his line of work. Sawyer asks if they want to buy them or not, but they're unsure, so Sawyer says to forget it and starts walking away.
Then Cassidy strolls up, asking how much. Oh, I see. So if this were the video for "Say, Say, Say," Cassidy would be Michael Jackson and Sawyer would be Paul McCartney. Sawyer says they're a hundred bucks each, so Cassidy looks them over and buys two. Again Sawyer starts to leave, but he's called back by the dudes, who then ad-lib the following: "It's Gina's birthday week." "They love their jewelry." Crazy bitches loves they bling-bling! Nice work on the improv, guys. ["Nice work totally noticing Cassidy had the right amount of money already out and ready to hand him. Not. Talk about plays a five-year-old could spot; she didn't even look down." -- Sars] Sawyer and Cassidy smile at each other. I can't say for sure, not being a con artist, but I don't think it's a bright idea to share private smiles with your accomplice while the con is still going on.
Back on Craphole Island, Jack's taking Sun's pulse, which he tells Jin is strong. They need to watch her, but she's going to be okay. Jack leaves, and Jin takes Sun's hand, likely thinking that her neck is a little too uncovered for his liking.