By Jeff Long
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.Cate and Ryan are gearing up for the annual Drink-A-Date party where their listeners get to compete for a chance to date one of them. Baze is ticked that they won't have the party at his bar, especially since he needs the business in order to be able to pay Lux back after she paid his rent for him. Well, Lux gets suspended from school after the bong lamp she sold to Brynn is discovered by her parents. Cate makes a plea to the principal (who was also her principal back in the day) on behalf of Lux and even presents her with Lux's social work file. Casey finds it and makes copies of it and distributes it to the school. Baze asks Cate to have her party at his bar, instead of the bar across the street from his, but she refuses, saying that his bar is a dive. Baze calls the cops and has the place across the street busted for serving minors. When Lux gets to school (Cate successfully begged off the suspension), no one will talk to her because she lied about going to boarding school. I guess they don't consider the reasons why a person would do such a thing. Lux is furious and takes her things to Baze's place. Because they have to choice, Cate and Ryan have their shindig at Baze's. There, Lux confronts Cate for being the "reason" all the shiz went down at school. Cate asks her why she would lie about her past, and Lux points out that Cate lies by hiding her relationship with Ryan. Then, she marches downstairs and tells everyone at the bar that Cate and Ryan are engaged. The day, tons of people call into the station hating on Cate. But, their producer points out that even negative attention is still attention. Cate tells Lux that she's trying as hard as she can and it's time for her to give her a break -- or they can just not do this. Lux decides to move back to Cate's house. Meanwhile, Baze pays Lux back (which Cate sees) and returns her bong lamp.
Our vlogger tries to predict how events will unfold as this series goes along.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!It's morning and there's bouncy music as Cate and Ryan faux hate each other on the radio. Cate suggests that Ryan believes that if a man is in his 30's and single, he has standards; while if a woman is in her 30's and single, she is somehow damaged. He corrects her -- he believes that all women in their 30's have issues. I get the whole psychology behind trophy brides now. Keep them until they're 30. Thanks, Ryan. He points out that Alice, their producer, is married and "just as screwed up" as Cate. I'd ask for clarification on what "screwed up" entails, but why bother. FYI, Ryan is the weak link on this show. Of course, Alice kind of proves his point by neurotically saying that marriage is hard and you never have sex.
Cut to Baze, who is working at his dinner table. "Pathetic," he declares. I thought he was talking about what's on the radio, but he's really talking about his bank balance that he's checking on the internet. He tells Jamie, who is practicing his morning apparitions in the kitchen, that they need to find a way to get people into his bar. He tells Jamie that Lux pilfered her savings for him and even sold the bong lamp he gave her. Jamie laments the departure of the bong lamp. We'll all miss it, Jamie. Stay strong. Baze considers getting a mechanical bull as an attraction for the bar. Jamie does not agree.
Alice is still ranting. She says that single people don't know how easy they have it. Ryan disagrees. He says that Cate dates so often, she hasn't paid for dinner since the late '90s. She says that he's just bitter because he's buying too many dinners and not enough breakfasts. Wait, he's agreeing with Alice. I'm sorry, this banter belongs in the late '90s, when it was still relatively fresh. Cate says that dating is the worst -- the small talk and small penises.
Baze finds an odd website on his computer and asks if Math has been using it. Jamie hopes that it's not Math's lit-porn and reminds Baze of "hot girls for deep Dickens." Weird. Baze says that it's Cate and Ryan's "Drink-A-Date" site, evidence of Math's high school crush on Cate. Jamie declares that they need to get Math laid. Baze notices that the Drink-A-Date event is going to be held at Garrett's, across the street from his bar. He's furious that they wouldn't have it at his place. That is kinda rude, when they're right to each other.
On the radio, Cate and Ryan are telling their listeners how much fun the Drink-A-Date is going to be. Ryan says that it combines speed dating and speed drinking. He forgot to say assault. That's the recipe, right?