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What better night than Halloween to run an episode showcasing juvenile greed? After Jared literally flips out on Divad's snack bar enterprise, the Pioneer Journal directs the Council to the "abandoned" mine outside town, which contains a "treasure chest" full of buffalo nickels. Rather than distributing the loot among the townspeople, the Council cleans out the dry goods store and bestows the gifts on the town, which they love. We meet eleven-year-old Nathan from the Blue team, who is home-schooled, does laundry, and may be a touch OCD. So Greg gives him a hard time, of course. In the Showdown, the teams have to use a giant slingshot to launch raw eggs over a high wall into giant cushions without breaking them. It's an incredibly frustrating task, except for the Blue team, which blows it out and nearly wins the communal reward single-handedly. The choice? An exorbitantly priced coin-op Laundromat, or new clothes and a period washing machine for free. The Council picks the latter. Most of the newly laboring Red team loves using the new machine, but Jared opts to instead open a business selling crappy little wooden souvenir necklaces. Amazingly, he cleans up, and h e buys himself an actual Old West pimp outfit. I'd say it must be seen to be believed, but I saw it and I still don't believe it. When the Council starts taking nominations for the Gold Star, the town seems to be split between Pharaoh (hard worker, needy) and Divad (shameless campaigner), but when Greg makes the surprising move of nominating Nathan, the Council has a tough choice ahead of it. At the Town Hall meeting, the Council gets a 100% approval rating and nobody wants to go home. In the end, Nathan wins the Gold Star, and Divad is left feeling unappreciated. In other news: Taylor who? Want more? The full recap starts right below!
It's Day 20, and Divad has opened up a snack bar. From a table set up on one of the porches, she's selling stuff like peach cobbler at five cents a square. She claims that she's doing this so that everyone can afford something, since the stores are so expensive and nothing at her snack bar is more than ten cents. Of course, if her only goal was really to bring snacks to the masses, nothing there would be more than zero. But let's not split hairs. Not everyone seems to appreciate the business venture. Several members of the perpetually poor Green team show up to complain, as Sophia asks why she should pay five cents for canned apples that she could get from the kitchen for free. Divad tries to make a case for her value-added service. Laurel interviews that Red members like Divad aren't exactly hurting for money. And Divad doesn't even have the full support of the Red team, as we see Jared approaching his (apparently mute) teammate Jasmine in one of the stores to say that Divad needs a little competition, pointedly asking, "Do you see where I'm going?" Yes, but Jasmine's not going there with him. thing we see is Jared trying to set up a sad little table of his own, while Divad's supporter Kelsey harangues him about being negative while Laurel looks on. Kelsey rants, "Bill Gates has so much money! He made Microsoft and nobody complained about it." Well, not as much since she's been alive, maybe. Apropos of nothing, I'll just take this moment to point out that nobody ever complained about LBJ. Kelsey suggests that Jared offer to work for Divad for five cents a day. Jared takes this as the insult it is and storms off, saying, "Screw you." He complains bitterly to the cameras about Divad's activities, and that "the leadership isn't doing anything about it." So Jared does. Namely, he goes over to Divad's unattended snack bar and shoves the whole thing over onto the ground. All better now?
After the commercials, Kelsey is the first one to find the disarray. As Divad returns from wherever she's been, Kelsey starts freaking out at her over what Jared did. Guylan and Laurel show up for a little Council presence, but Divad is remaining calm and saying she's okay, and doesn't even want anyone's help cleaning up. As she sweeps up, she says that jealous people do things to throw the people they're jealous of off track, but shrugs, "But when they do it to me, it just makes me work harder." And she demonstrates this by sweeping the refuse into the street.
It's time for the Council to read the "Pioneer Journal." It claims that the original pioneers also worked for meager wages, and it figures that things haven't changed much. As an illustration, we see Mallory "shopping" in the dry goods store, but nothing she wants is in a Laborer's price range. "Yeah, we were Laborers three times, we know," agrees proprietor Sophia, who's probably thinking about that time their positions were reversed and Mallory gouged her for a quarter for that messenger bag. Meanwhile, the Council is getting a primer on the original Bonanza City economy. Basically, the first pioneers were all just hanging out, waiting for one of the miners to hit a gold strike, and then the town's leaders would decide how to divide the money. Yeah, that's pretty much what happened on Deadwood, too. The Journal warns that the rich got richer and the poor got poorer, and that's why people started leaving. Back at the store, Sophia wishes Mallory luck in the Showdown, and sends her off empty-handed. See, it's funny because both of these girls are now worth at least $20,000 in the real world. Back in the Chapel, the Council gets to the part of the Journal where it tells them that there's a windfall waiting for them in the mine outside town, and that it's up to the Council to decide how to divide it. All three boys want to go check it out right away, but Laurel is against the whole idea, saying that it'll only trigger greed and selfishness and knife fights. (She didn't actually say knife fights.) But the boys prevail upon her to go check it out for now and make the decision later. Heading out of town, Anjay makes a crack about the Donner Party that is not well received. After the diet they've been on the last three weeks, I can't imagine any of them would be that tasty anyway.
Mike comes out of the Red boys' bunkhouse to find Divad sitting there, waiting for Jared. She sends him back in to get Jared, and while we wait, Divad interviews that she doesn't hold grudges, because it's bad for her conscience. Mike returns with Jared, and hangs out just long enough to make sure that this isn't going to turn into a screaming match, or worse. Jared sucks at apologizing, basically saying, "Bygones?" and Divad lets him off the hook. Well, that was disappointing. Maybe Divad would have been more upset if she'd had to pay for any of the stuff she'd been selling.
The Council walks a really long way out of town, at least according to Laurel. If it's that far, shouldn't they have left someone in charge during their absence, lest Taylor, Mike, and Olivia stage a coup? Laurel also claims that they followed the map from the journal, but since they didn't bring the map with them, I'm thinking they just followed the camera crews. And eventually, they reach a mine entrance cut into the side of a hill. I can't tell if it's real or a shooting set, but the kids seem convinced as they pick up the handy lanterns hanging conveniently outside the entrance and file into the narrow tunnel. "Oh, I wonder what's up there," says one of the kids for no apparent reason, and Laurel screams as they hold a lantern up to see what's hanging from the ceiling. The camera rapidly pulls backward out of the cave, like this is the Disney Channel version of The Descent or something.
So, Sophia's decided to conduct a little experiment to see how desperate for money people really are. Namely, she's going to put fifty cents at the bottom of a big cooking pot, and then fill same with a vomit-like mixture of baked beans, sweetened condensed milk, potatoes, oatmeal, and rotting vegetables. "This is disgusting, it stinks, and it's perfect," she says happily. The hell?
Meanwhile, the horror that confronts our intrepid spelunkers has turned out to be nothing more than a sleeping bat. Ooh, spooky. As the kids head deeper into the earth, Guylan says for the cameras, "Is it just me, or is the lamp dying?" Yes, I'm sure losing your light is a real fear when you're exploring a cave accompanied by at least two network television camera crews.
Sophia's in the middle of the main street, drawing a crowd with cries of "Free money!" As you do. She explains what's going on, assuring some of the more doubtful kids that there really is money in there. After a pause, there are about half a dozen grody hands in there, and the ten gooey nickels end up being shared among several treasure hunters. "People never fail to entertain me," Sophia says in an interview. "They do the darnedest things." Yes, like putting people up to sticking their hands into a gross mess. I'd say that this says a lot more about Sophia than it does about the people who got the money, if I thought for a second that the producers hadn't suggested the idea. At the very least, I'm sure they sponsored it, since fifty cents is a lot of scratch in the Bonanza City economy, and Sophia's team has yet to be in the Upper Class.
Back at the mine, the other treasure hunters have found a "treasure chest." Actually, it's a beat-up-looking suitcase that's about the size of a short stack of laptops. They haul it out before opening it up, and discover that it's full of money. If by "full of money" you mean "barely containing enough buffalo nickels to cover the bottom." Still, the kids are pretty excited as they count them up and conclude that there are 375 of them. $18.75, in other words. Guylan says that they can double everyone's salary. Which is correct, as long as you maintain the current class system when "doubling." Good thing he heeded that warning about making the rich richer; the fact that his team happens to be in the Upper Class is, I'm sure, mere coincidence. Anjay doesn't think that's the right move, and Laurel agrees in an interview that the town would just blow it all "on stupid, stupid things." So Guylan comes up with the idea of just taking the money to the dry goods store and using it to buy stuff for the town. The rest of the Council agrees that that's the way to go. Zach interviews, "I think that choice in a democracy is everything, but it's still important for the smarter people to make the right choice." No word on who he means by that, but I have a theory.
Breakfast appears to be wrapping up in the mess hall when the members of the Council enter wordlessly, loaded down with loot that they bought from the store. A couple of guitars are the most visible items. I know $18.75 in pioneer currency is probably about $600.00 in 2007 money, but it still looks like they must have gotten some good bargains. To all of the suspicious-looking kids, Zach makes the announcement about the Journal, and the treasure. He says that they didn't want it all to get spent on candy and soda. There's a pause while the editors show the kids looking stone-faced, and play some portentous music, and stick in an interview with Laurel about how nervous she was. And Zach finishes his announcement, saying that they used the money to buy "everything that the town could use together." And the whole room erupts in cheers. Those sneaky editors. They actually had us thinking that the kids would fail to realize that with a large collective fund, a government entity can improve their lives more effectively than they could for themselves with a small share of the cash divided among each of them. Who could be that immature, anyway? The Council starts passing out stuff, including baseball equipment and the guitars.
Outside, Savannah happily flies a new kite (look out for power lines!), and a bunch of boys are headed off to play baseball. They invite a kid named Nathan along, but he's busy carrying water buckets and doesn't play baseball anyway, so he gets called a "nerd." The baseball game proceeds without him, as does any manner of other playground activity. Nathan, however, returns to his dreary post at the laundry tub and washboard. We haven't seen much of Nathan (Blue, 11, from Illinois) up to this point, but he's the kid in the eye-catching bomber jacket with all the patches. That's a pretty flamboyant coat under the circumstances, and he can't exactly pull it off. It's wearing him, one might say. He interviews that taking a break is all well and good, but that things still need to be done. Laurel comes and finds him at the laundry tub and suggests that he chill a bit. Nathan frets that the laundry is way behind, and that doing it right takes a long time. In her laid-back way, Laurel compliments him on working so hard, and advises him to be more laid-back. Nathan complies by shifting positions so that he's doing the laundry while sitting on a chair instead of doing it while sitting on the ground. Slacker. Half-kidding (or perhaps prompted by the producers), Laurel asks if Nathan has some deep, dark secret. Nathan stops scrubbing long enough to explain that his mom home-schools him and his sibling(s). Laurel nods as though that explains everything. Laurel is going to get some nasty emails, I can tell you right now. In an interview, Nathan tells us that, yes, he's a little different from the other kids in the town, but that he's not a total outcast. Lauren gives her own interview in which she alludes knowingly to Nathan's home-schooling and says she wish he weren't growing up so fast. Nathan, however, has already moved on to his task, which is carrying water. He's got that that yoke over his neck, the one with the two buckets hanging from it. As he walks, he tells us that it's hard on your neck, so he's going to go ask Greg and Blaine for help.
Nathan finds Blaine and Greg in the kitchen, for some reason, and when he asks for help, Greg totally jumps down his throat about the dishes needing to be done, and enlists Nathan to help with that instead. Nathan looks doubtfully at the sludge they're "washing" with, but he gets right in there. That's still not good enough for Greg, who starts yelling at Nathan for how long he's taking to get a spoon clean to his satisfaction, and then mocking him by squeaking a dish in his face. Sophia comments wearily to us that this happens every day, and that she doesn't even know what it's about. Oh, I do: Nathan's kind of OCD, and Greg's kind of a bully, and that's kind of a bad mix. You're welcome. Then we're back to the Greg and Nathan show ("They fight! And fight! And fight and fight and fight!"), which has moved on to a dispute about how much fresh water is needed in the wash tub. Anjay helplessly tries to mediate, and it ends with Greg roughly dumping all of Nathan's water into the washtub and bitchily snapping at him, "You happy?" Nathan walks out, humiliated and on the verge of tears. "Walk away," Greg sneers, demonstrating that the way to be a tough guy is to intimidate a socially awkward twelve-year-old when you're fifteen. Cut to Nathan crying alone in his bunk, saying that he can't stand it any more and he's thinking about going home.
But that turns out to be an Amazing Race-style cliffhanger, because by the time we get back from commercials, he already seems to be over it. That happens to me sometimes too. When the screen goes black at the end of the act, I feel like I can't take it for another second. But then the show comes back, and I'm all better, thanks to a trip to the bathroom. In Nathan's case, he's back at work doing laundry. Now he's getting help from Alex, who asks, "Do you really have to wash everything a thousand times?" It's not clear if he means the general "you," or Nathan in particular, but either way, Nathan's answer is yes. "Oh, darn," Alex says. They seem to have come across some mysterious items that are totally foreign to them. What could it be? Oh, it's girls' underwear, of course. A couple of girls stand uncomfortably over them at this point, saying, "Oh, guys, don't worry about those, ha ha," and Alex and Nathan are both like, "No, we got it." Scrub scrub scrub. Hee.
Discussion of laundry continues elsewhere in town., as Michael confesses that he doesn't really trust the laundry. A bunch of younger girls surrounding him (Michael's harem, I take it) agree with his complaints, as Michael points out that it's not entirely the laundry's fault, because the wind is making proper clothesline operation problematic. Maybe he just realized that Nathan is standing right behind him. "We need a washer and a dryer," Emilie says. Quick, someone tell the Showdown producers! Nathan cluelessly asks, "Does anyone have any laundry?" Everyone is like, "NO! Uh, I mean, no thanks, we're good." Poor Nathan. If I were the kind of person who felt qualified to diagnose Asperger's at all, let alone based on a few minutes of reality TV footage, I might be doing so right now.
Yellow's back in the kitchen, and Pharaoh is telling us that it's not the dishes that are bad, but the pots and pans. Greg tells us that Pharaoh is the best worker in the Yellow district (now that Zach's on the Council, I take it), and he's thinking of nominating him for the Gold Star. In an interview, Pharaoh (12, from Pennsylvania) says that he'd give the Gold Star money to his mom if he won. Not that he's thought about it or anything.
Divad is also in the kitchen, but instead of washing dishes, she's frying up some potatoes on the stove. "I'm the richest person in Bonanza," she says. "I've got one dollar and twenty-five cents." Seeing her counting it out on the communal counter, Laurel asks where it came from, and Divad says it's her profits from selling potatoes. Sophia asks how many people she sold to. All this entrepreneurship hasn't left Divad unscathed -- literally, she's got a small burn on her face from grease spatter. She's philosophical about it, though, saying that it won't stop her. It happens, she says. Especially when the potatoes you're cooking are submerged in grease. Too much grease, is what I'm saying. This was, of course, one of the big controversies before the show started airing: "OMFG A CHILD GOT BURNED BY GREASE WHO WILL THINK OF THE POOR HELPLESS FRAGILE CHILDREN!?!" Clearly the show is only too happy to help Divad downplay it now. Divad interviews that she's doing other work, and says that she'll do whatever people want her to. "Haul water," Greg calls from offscreen, interrupting her interview and completely derailing her point. Especially since she has no plans to do any such thing. She tries to get back to her theme, which is, "I don't just want to be the potato girl. I want to be the kind potato girl." Cut to Zach, who reacts to this by demonstrating that he could be a shoo-in for the role of "the unkind eye-rolling boy." I don't plan to let him run unopposed, however.
Time to get ready for the Showdown. Anjay rallies his troops, and they're all excited. By contrast, Guylan stands before his team in the Red bunkhouse trying to motivate everyone, but it looks like he prepared them for the pep rally by giving them all a great deal of pot. "I'm pumped. So is my team," Guylan delusion-terviews, as we see Jared sitting in a chair reading his book while Guylan tries to cheerlead. "I'm just not showing it," Jared promises.
At the showdown field, Jonathan starts out by saying that the kids have been thinking about money. I never get tired of the way he always starts these sequences by telling them what they're thinking about. So here's how the Showdown ties into the theme. Jonathan holds up a gold-painted egg, and says that the teams will be collecting them. And how will they do that? Well, each team has a giant slingshot that they'll use to launch golden eggs into the air. Other members of each district will be positioned downrange holding giant cushions (about six feet in diameter, I'm guessing) with which to catch the eggs. Which, Jonathan demonstrates by smashing one on his hand, are real, raw, and fragile. Sound hard enough? Well, the ones with the hardest jobs will be the Council Leaders. They're going to be positioned on towers between their slingshot groups and their cushion groups. Since a high wall separates the two groups, only the Council leaders will be able to see what's happening on each side, and will be responsible for directing both groups within their teams. So no pressure or anything. Each caught egg needs to be collected in a wooden box. Whichever team catches the most eggs wins, and if they all catch a total of four dozen in fifteen minutes, the town wins the reward. Forty-eight eggs in fifteen minutes, fired blind and rescued intact from ballistic trajectories? The producers must not want to give out this reward.
So let's get to work on that dirty omelet. Things start pretty slowly, with the first several eggs on each team crashing into the ground and sending up gooey little plumes of dust. Jonathan reminds the Council Leaders that it's all up to them. Guylan flinches as an egg slams into the top of the wall right to him. This is what it's like to get shelled (get it?). I should also mention that each Council Leader, cushion crew member, and egg runner is wearing a slammin' pair of World War I flying ace goggles for eye protection. Blue is the first team to successfully catch an egg. Nathan and Blaine are the Blue cushion crew, while Mallory is responsible for boxing them. "Blue has a system," Jonathan observes, and indeed, Anjay seems to have come up with some really clear hand signals. Which is good, since nobody ever listens to him when he talks. Greg is directing the firing of the slingshot, no doubt drawing on his extensive experience in besieging medieval castles. Yellow seems to be doing fairly well too, but Red and Green are sucking wind. Guylan admits that he didn't have a strategy, and Mike complains in an interview about Guylan's inscrutable, tarmac-inspired hand signals. Blue seems to be increasing its lead: "Mallory's running a marathon here!" Jonathan says, as Mallory trips over the hay bale border, but comes up with the egg in her hand still intact. Green gets its first egg with less than half the time left, and Red is even later. Note to self: if I'm ever expected to jump out the window of a burning building into a net below, carefully observe the colors being worn by the people holding the net. Red's last egg shatters against the edge of its cushion, and Jonathan calls time.
So it's time to count the eggs. Jonathan reminds them that they need four dozen to win the reward. Red gets counted first, and ends up with a pathetic five eggs. "That's amazingly...terrible," interviews DK. Green has six, but at least they aren't Laborers. "Still really, really far from the reward," Jonathan says. He asks Sophia if she thinks they'll win it. "No," she nods. Yellow did quite a bit better, with eighteen. So that means Blue needs nineteen to win the reward. As soon as Jonathan opens Blue's box, it's obvious that they made it. There are -- get this -- thirty-eight eggs in there. That is amazing. Blue is back in the Upper Class. Yellow is the Merchants, Green is the Cooks, and Red is Laborers.
Time for the reward choice. A vaguely familiar girl on the Yellow team interviews that she really wanted the reward, because a lot of them have been "real, real good." This girl, according to the subtitle, is "Taylor" 10, from Georgia. Huh, I wonder what her story is. Back to Jonathan, who makes a lame joke about money laundering and reveals the first choice. It's a whole bank of coin-operated washers and dryers. The kids scream in ecstasy, until Jonathan adds, "Twenty cents a load." A needle-scratch sound effect cuts off the celebration, and the hero music, and the show itself, as we go to commercials.
Okay, we're back. Let's see what the second choice is. When Jonathan opens the second giant crate, it turns out to contain brand-new outfits -- color-coded for each district, of course, so more viewers can tell who's on which team at a glance -- and four "pioneer-era" washing machines. The kind with a hand-operated agitator drum and two rollers to serve as the dryer. That's also a good deal, because as this "Taylor" person interviews, they've been wearing the same jeans for three weeks. Now, that can't be true. I see a lot of them wearing their flannel pajama bottoms around a lot of the time. "And the outfits were pretty cute," Taylor adds. Jonathan sends the Council off to deliberate. That doesn't stop the rest of the town from having a debate of their own. Some creative editing is employed to make us think that almost everyone is leaning toward the Laundromat, but when the Council comes back, Laurel announces that they're going with "the free laundry." And most of the kids seem happy, especially when they run to grab their new duds.
Day 21. Colton and Zach are getting dressed in their new yellow outfits. I realize that makes it sound like they're dressed like Curious George's best friend, but they're really just regular clothes that happen to have a lot of yellow on them. Zach interviews that it was the "obvious" choice. To the smarter people, at least. Meanwhile, the Red team (and Blue's Mallory and Alex, wearing red clothes for some reason) are having Mike teach them how to work the new laundry machines. He demonstrates the procedure using a dorky little workout routine with the agitator lever that agitates me as well, but everyone approves of the new equipment.
Jared, however, is skipping out on the laboring entirely. He shows us how he can use a magnifying glass to focus the sun's rays into a pinpoint against little scraps of wood, and says he's in business for himself. His trade? Souvenir necklaces. Somehow, he's found a bunch of these little wood scraps, as well as some strings or rawhide cords to hang them from, and a way to hang them. The necklaces read "BONANZA CITY 2007" in black lettering, and he's selling them for two nickels apiece. Is he, like, woodburning the lettering on those things using his magnifying glass? Because if he is, he's way undercharging. There's a sad little montage of Jared desperately telling the empty street that he's open for business, but when he manages to flag down Sophia, he's got a taker. Kelsey is the buyer, and she loves the idea. The thing you know, people are crowding around Jared's table, and Sophia even comes back to buy one for each of her siblings. I'm 98.3% sure she's humoring him, and 72.4% sure she doesn't have siblings. "Jared can't make those things fast enough!" Guylan interviews. Jared totals up his take and exclaims, "Holy banana bread!" He's raked in $2.90. If my math is correct, that represents 29 necklaces. I wonder who the holdouts were. And because Jared loves to spend money as fast as he earns it, he goes on a shopping spree in the dry goods store. "I'm the Bill Gates of Bonanza City, people are saying," he says. Only Jared isn't quite the dashing rake that Bill Gates is.
Cut to Jared walking down the street in a new, wide-brimmed cowboy hat worn at a jaunty angle, with his Red bandanna tied around the crown. He's also tricked out in new shoes and a fancy suede duster. Plus he's got a super-long lollipop, which he's twirling around like a pimp-stick. He's like mini-Kramer, complete with some wah-wah guitar on the soundtrack. This is how he presents himself to the first person he sees, someone named Migle, who tells him with an admirably straight face, "You look good." "I love this city, don't you?" he smarms at her, and she finally cracks up. Bonanza City in a nutshell: people buy necklaces from Jared that make them look stupid, and then Jared takes their money and makes himself look even stupider.
Evening at the Saloon. Over sodas, Zach chats up bartender Pharaoh and says he's noticed that Pharaoh's been working hard. Pharaoh comes right out and says that he's hoping for a Gold Star, since he's got a single mom and the family is struggling. Zach seems sympathetic.
And here's Nathan, who is doing laundry by himself after dark. Guylan comes out with a lantern, asking what's going on. "The jobs need to get done," Nathan frets, without pausing in his work. Guylan says, "As a Council Leader, I am telling you: go warm up and go to bed." If someone's going to pull rank, that's how I want to see them do it. Guylan interviews that he thinks Nathan has lost his "spark of kid-ness."
So when Nathan goes to bed, he's on the patch of bunkhouse floor to where Greg is sleeping tonight. Greg grins nervously and gets Nathan's attention, admitting that he's been hard on him the past couple of days. "Mm-hmm," Nathan says noncommittally. Greg apologizes and says that Nathan's been working hard and is a good kid. "Thanks, that means a lot to me," says Nathan with a compete lack of affect. Greg interviews that Nathan deserves the Gold Star. Good night, John-Boy.
Day 22 already? Divad gets up with an air of anticipation, talking about how $20,000 will help her become a doctor one day. She interviews that she thinks she deserves the Gold Star. And she's doing something about it, as we see her outside, making a campaign poster for herself. Jared comes up (in his normal clothes, riding what I assume is still Sophia's bicycle) and reads it out loud in such a goofy voice that I can't even understand what he's saying. "Good, good sign," Jared tells her. And then he shoves it over onto the ground. Not really. Obviously, they've made up.
The Council has decided to take another crack at taking nominations for the Gold Star like they did a few weeks ago. As you'll recall, that ended up with Mallory winning the award. So really, this process is the opposite of democracy, since they ended up giving the Gold Star to the person with the least votes, just for novelty value. Let's see if that happens again. As the kids wait in line outside the chapel, Divad is totally getting her Tracy Flick on by going up and down the line with a plate of snacks. "What a briber," Greg mutters, not partaking. He's clearly not on the Divad train.
Inside, Sophia is the first to give her nomination, and she names Pharaoh. Blaine also suggests Pharaoh, as does Michael, but a couple of other kids, including Jared, vote for Divad. The snacks have not gone to waste. When Divad herself comes in, she suggests...Divad. "Surprise, surprise," Guylan mutters snidely as he makes a note. Laurel interviews that Divad is trying to get noticed, and that she hopes that the guys on the Council are as smart as she is, and will see through it. The Council seems split, and then when Greg comes in, he nominates Nathan. That doesn't help the Council to decide at all, even though Anjay is amazed that Greg apologized to Nathan. "Greg hates Nathan on a normal basis!" he bellows, loud enough for Nathan to hear him outside. We go to commercial with a sharply divided Council.
Town Hall meeting. Jonathan starts, as usual, by taking an approval poll of the Council. One by one, everyone raises a hand. Former Council member Mike stands to give props, saying that the washing machines have made the lot of a Laborer that much better. He does his workout routine again, and gets a pity laugh from the town. Maybe he'll stop now. I doubt it. Morgan stands up to say that things are getting better, but that people are getting lazier, too. And Greg is more specific, calling out people for "frying potatoes" instead of working harder. Everyone's like, "Oooooh." Divad raises her hand and says that's not all she does. She says that she also did laundry with Jasmine (Jasmine, in the back: a nonverbal "Hell, no, she didn't") and scrubbed toilets, but that no one noticed. Laurel announces that they know who's working for the Gold Star and who's working for the town. Interesting that Mike left that particular legacy on the Council. "We just want to see you work; we don't want you to tell us," Laurel explains. Jonathan goes through the formality of asking whether anyone wants to go home. No one does. So it's Gold Star time.
The Council draws into a huddle at the table. The huddle breaks up. Laurel motions them back in again. Everyone giggles. "Second thoughts," Jonathan narrates for the town. Nobody giggles. Pharaoh looks nervous. Divad looks expectant. Nathan looks bored. Finally, Zach stands -- which makes it look like it's going to be Pharaoh -- and talks up the winner in a non-specific way before announcing that it's...Nathan. Nathan lets out an unconvincing whoop -- because that's what you're supposed to do -- and stands up, as Pharaoh's and Divad's faces go slack with disappointment. Greg hugs Nathan before he heads up to take the star. Jonathan hands it over, and Nathan pretends like its weight is bending him double. As though after doing 873 loads of laundry in two weeks he doesn't have more upper-body strength than I do. And he can't think of anything to say. "Are you speechless?" Jonathan asks him. Nathan takes the out and nods, his expression either highly emotional or just really embarrassed. Zach gives an interview about how the Gold Star is for the hardest worker, and Nathan is certainly that. Jonathan asks Nathan what he's going to do with the money, and Nathan says something about his love of music and that now he'll be able to go to school to study it. Meanwhile, Pharaoh's thinking, "That's my rent, bitch." Jonathan sends Nathan off to call his parents, and reminds everyone else, "If you all work together and you're good to each other, any one of you can win the Gold Star." Meeting adjourned. Did you get that "good to each other" bit?
As we see Nathan dash over to the phone barn, he interviews that his mother always says that she'll give him a gold star when he does something good. So now he's got an actual Gold Star, for reals. Alas, when Nathan gets his mom on the phone and totally sets her up to say something about giving him a gold star, she completely drops the ball. So he has to be the one to say he earned one, but that this one is worth $20,000. "I can use it for college, boarding school, candy, anything I want," he says. Wow, Nathan really likes his Toblerone. And then we're in Nathan's mom's kitchen, as she tells Nathan's sister about the Gold Star. The sister seems doubtful, and when she's on the phone with him to hear it for herself, she asks Nathan, "Is it fun?" Nathan says that it is. "A little bit hard, but fun," he assures her. I'm not any less concerned than I was earlier about what Nathan's idea of fun might be. Interview with Nathan's mom in which she says he's "independent," and "he doesn't care what people think, and he always wants to do the right thing." Jeez, lady, why not just tell the national viewing audience, "Yeah, my kid's a weirdo."
The minor harmonica of bitter disappointment segues into Divad working in the kitchen and complaining that she does as much work as Nathan. "Do I need to drag them to my workplace? Do I need to drag them to where I'm working to make them realize I do work?" Sounds like someone didn't get the message Laurel was sending. Nathan, meanwhile, does his victory lap of the town and promises us that he's going to keep working. I doubt that not at all.
And then the end credits is a little impromptu fashion show in the street with about ten kids and their new clothes. Cute.