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Religion is this week's big issue. After the "Pioneer Journal" advises the Council to look to Bonanza City's collective soul, the Council members decide to try to force everyone to attend a catch-all religious service. This goes even worse than you would expect, given the fact that a lot of different religions are represented in the town, and almost nobody wants to share a place of worship with people of different beliefs. But then that night, Morgan finds a low-key way to bring everyone together informally for a few quiet prayers. Do you think the Council will see that there are other modes of leadership besides yelling at everyone? No, me neither. The theme continues, as this week's showdown is a "steeplechase." Except that instead of being a steeplechase in the horse-race sense, it's a race for the teams to assemble giant jigsaw puzzles of -- what else? Churches. Blue wins again, returning to the Upper Class; Red are again Merchants; Yellow is back in the kitchen, to general dismay (including that of the Yellow team, because Taylor's balls are just that huge); and Green is back to doing what Green usually does. Since they all finish within the time limit, the reward choice is between a miniature golf course in the town and a library of religious texts. The Council finally wises up a little and puts the choice to the town for a vote. And the holy books carry the day. And everybody learns a little something about religious tolerance, even though several girls watch Anjay's Hindu prayer as though he's some kind of zoo exhibit. With Taylor and the Yellow team back to ignoring the kitchen on a full-time basis, the District's one diligent worker, Zach, organizes a multi-team dishwashing session to get it done, which puts him in the running for a Gold Star. Also in the running: Morgan again, as well as Greg. But we'll get to that in a minute. At the Town Hall meeting, Taylor has given up any pretense at caring about the town's rapidly declining opinion of her, and openly admits to Jonathan and everyone that it doesn't bother her too much. Why do the members of the Yellow team still get their salaries? When Jonathan asks if anyone wants to go home this time, he gets a taker: nine-year-old Cody, whose attempts to drown his homesickness in root beer proved unsuccessful. And the Gold Star goes to Morgan, to nobody's surprise -- not even Greg's. week: politics! Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Big thanks to Daniel for doing such an awesome job filling in last week. As a fellow parent, I'm sure he's also looking forward to the day when we can make our kids help us with these things.
On Day 11, Sophia and Morgan are heading to the pump to fetch water. Which is weird, because I thought that was the Red team's job now, and both these girls are on the Green team. And there's no way a reality show would edit scenes out of sequence to make them fit the week's theme, right? Morgan's got weightier matters on her mind, namely whether God put them there for a reason. Whoa. Heavy. Even heavier is that Sophia says she stopped believing in God a while ago. She says Morgan is sweet for thinking Sophia's there for a reason. Morgan says, however, that she hasn't yet figured out her own reason, and thus doesn't deserve to be there. Like, on Earth? Morgan, dude, you're twelve. Cut yourself some slack. Sophia agrees with me (as she so often does), telling Morgan, "You're the nicest person here. I think that's good enough of a reason."
Meanwhile, in the Red team's bunkhouse, a religious discussion of a different kind is underway, as Jared confesses to Guylan (11, still from Massachusetts) that being Jewish has made him something of a target at school. You know, I suspected that Jared was the kind of child who gets grief from the other kids, and I also had an idea he might be Jewish, but it never occurred to me to think those two theories might be related. But then, I don't know which part of Georgia he's from. In an interview, Guylan says he doesn't want religion to be a big part of Bonanza City.
But in the mess hall, things are already -- if not conveniently -- splitting along religious lines. Specifically, Colton is asking Eric why he and his fellow Jews don't celebrate Christmas. Eric asks if that's a serious question, and he seems prepared to give Colton the benefit of the doubt until Zach relays Colton's version of the Hanukah story, which he apparently performed for Zach earlier. All I will say about that is that it's rather disrespectful, and includes the non-Hebrew phrase "whoop-de-doo." Zach interviews that religion is something that people have fights about. Which is reasonable, given that we just saw him kind of instigating one.
In the chapel, the Council is looking over the Ye Olde Pioneer Journal. "The town doesn't really like what the journal usually has to say," Laurel interviews. They sit down and start reading as the supposedly dead pioneer claims that since Bonanza City version 1.0 was so busy, nobody took the time to stop, think, and pray, which led to fighting. Yes, I'm sure that was the cause, and an hour or so in the chapel every week would have helped the original pioneers endure prickish weather and impending starvation with much more equanimity, at least until they started fighting over the communion wafers. Or, as Al Swearengen might have said, "Churchgoin' ain't advisable in a town where getting down on your knees is an invitation to some cocksucker to stick a knife through the top of your fuckin' hat."
And here we are, back in the mess hall, where people are fighting about praying. Zach's trying to explain the meaning of Hanukah, but Colton just talks over him, earning himself a well-deserved bird. Zach in turn gets a smack from the (presumably Christian) girl to him. Excuse me, but I didn't sign up to recap Kid Pogrom. In the Chapel, the Journal advises the Council to have a religious service, and leaves it up to them whether to hold it all together or in groups. Meanwhile, the "Jew Crew" (Eric's term, not mine) bonds in the mess hall while the Christian kids boast about their religion in a much more obnoxious and less catchy way, as is our tendency. The Council looks worried. They should be.
After credits and commercials, we find the Council getting ready to address the town, who don't look too thrilled that Journal-reading has just occurred. Seriously, it's never good news for them. In fact, I think the Council's approval ratings would soar if they ever said to the town, "The Journal suggested we do [unpopular suggestion of the week], but we say fuck it." The council brings up the idea of a religious service, and Laurel announces that they were going to try having one service at which people of different religions could speak. Absolutely no one else in the town seems to think that's a good idea. Olivia speaks up first, saying nobody's going to change their beliefs. Certainly not Olivia! And to prove it, she's already refusing to participate. So there. Mike tells her that's not what they're trying to do. Divad (11, from Georgia, a girl, whose name is not a typo), knows "for a fact" that having all religions in the same room is going to start arguments. "Would you put Democrats and Republicans in the same room together?" she interviews. "That's like putting Hindus and Christians in the same room together." Amazing: premise, analogy, conclusion, all completely wrong. It's like a rhetorical hat trick. Speaking of Hindus, Anjay interviews that the people warning against religious arguments are the ones who will start them. He seems to have a point there.
Sophia shares her opinion with the room that religion is historically a catalyst for war, and interviews that although she enjoys being Jewish, she's been having an "emotional crisis" lately about whether God exists. We can probably date that crisis to the day she met Taylor. Laurel doesn't see what the big deal is. Nine-year-old Alex speaks up and says that most religions have a lot of stuff in common, and they can focus on that instead of the differences. Olivia is particularly strident in the meeting, and interviews that she's so strong -- so very strong -- in her Christian beliefs that she doesn't want to hear about any others. Yes, that's strength for you. Anjay asks the room what's so wrong with "learning about other religions." Which would be a valid question, if they were proposing a discussion of comparative religions instead of an actual service. Everyone starts yelling, and Mike yells at everyone to shut up, and everyone actually shuts up. I can't believe how often that works. Have these kids really never been told to shut up before? I have more catching up to do than I thought. After listening to everyone's opinion, Mike announces that they're going to do it the Council's way anyhow. So there. As the meeting breaks up, he glowers at the crowd as though he's just daring someone to challenge his authority to tell them how to worship. Mike interviews that the Council makes the decisions, and the town has to deal with it. Well, I'm glad to see that he's trying to learn some new leadership skills, but it's a net negative, because he's learning them from Taylor.
Alex interviews that there shouldn't be so much "arguments and yucky stuff" about the issue, so he takes it upon himself to conduct a survey of the town's religion, probably in hopes of forestalling further "violennnnce." He compares the religious hoo-hah to the story of the Tower of Babel. I would like to remind you, in case you have forgotten, that Alex is nine. I'm not used to hearing this level of insight come from a mouth that has one front tooth in it. The final results: a Christian majority, "a few" Jews, one Hindu, and three atheists. "I classified them together," Alex apologizes (as though there's really a Dawkins faction and a Gould faction or something), "and a few other people were 'other.'"
So now it's time for the religious service. The Council stands to the door of the chapel, ringing the bell and calling everyone to worship. And every single other person in the entire town has something better to do. Savannah says she's used to Pentecostal services and doesn't want to go to one "with Jewish people or atheist people." Or bastard people, presumably. Kelsey interviews that she knows a little "about Jewish," but has no idea about Hinduism. "Do they worship spirits or something?" she giggles. "People are being a little narrow-minded here," Laurel interviews, as the Council finally gets the clue and gives up. Good thing, too; it looked like they were fully prepared to stand there yelling and ringing that bell until God stuck His head out of His door and said, "Will you please?"
In the kitchen, it's still a matter of discussion as Greg argues that small groups getting together are fine, but he's not in favor of a set service. You know what I'm in favor of, Greg? Indoor voices. Those are good. Eric agrees with Greg, which Anjay angrily calls "selfish." Maybe if Anjay could just get together with all the other Hindus in town -- oh, right. Morgan interviews that this issue could tear the town apart. Which I'm sure is the last thing the producers had in mind when they planted it.
So after dark, when everyone's in their pajamas and about to go to bed, Morgan quietly goes from bunkhouse to bunkhouse quietly inviting people to join a totally informal prayer session outside, but only if they want to. Divad interviews that Morgan made everyone feel comfortable about it. And as Morgan leads a little group down the street that includes Olivia and Mallory, another boy suggests asking Zach to join them to say a Jewish prayer. Morgan says that would be great, as though it never occurred to her before now. And just like that, this multi-faith thing is off the ground. Morgan leads a fairly large group (including the whole Council, by the way) in some informal prayer as they gather around a lantern that's been set on a barrel. A lot of kids say something (including Mike). Zach serves as Cantor, and interviews that Morgan deserves a Gold Star for bringing the town together. While still at the meeting, a boy named Pharaoh is in tears as he tells us how touched he was by people of different beliefs being a part of it. Now, honestly, was that so hard? Morgan calls it "a great accomplishment for Bonanza." I call it a great accomplishment for Morgan. What? I can't give credit where it's due?
Day 12. DK interviews that he and the Red team are doing all the hard work for a ten-cent salary. And indeed, it looks weird to see non-Green people carrying water and so forth. I was beginning to think that's what the color green means. I'll be sitting at a traffic light and people behind me will start honking and I realize that when the light changed I started cleaning out my glove compartment. In the candy store, the Blue team girl running the cash register busts on DK's inability to afford a jar of jellybeans on his meager salary and cackles, "I feel sorry for you guys." The look DK gives her is better than anything he could actually say. And what I would like to say is that of all the things about Bonanza City no kid ever would have come up with, this class structure tops the list.
So what's the Upper Class doing? They're in the Saloon, getting sprayed by a seltzer-bottle-wielding Greg. "There's nothing to do in town and a seltzer fight is just what we need," Taylor interviews breathlessly. Far be it from me to suggest that she's right, as long as you leave the seltzer in the bottle.
"I hate the Yellow team so much!" Sophia hisses to Morgan as they do dishes together. Right on cue, the Yellow team's Zach comes in and offers to help. The two Green girls gratefully accept. "I separate myself from the Yellow team," Zach interviews, and says that just because you can laze around doesn't mean you should. "I myself need to work the hardest," he says, whatever he means by that.
Showdown time. The kids all pull on their District uniform sweatshirts and cheer that they're going to be Upper Class. Well, almost all of them. Green has to be kind of realistic, after all, so they've set themselves a more modest goal: "I would like to see Taylor be a laborer," says Eric. Montage of each team cheering obnoxiously, followed by a smash-cut to Jared, slowly and gutturally informing us, "I am not the kind of person that does the cheering stuff. I...meditate." And then DK sits with him in the bunkhouse, watching Jared sitting in a bad lotus position and saying "Om." Suddenly, I'm finding myself wondering how Jared replied to Alex's survey.
As the kids gather on the showdown field in their color-coded anoraks, Jonathan lets us know that the religion thing isn't over with yet. He says that cowboys used to race horses from one church steeple to the . But this is going to be a rather different steeplechase; specifically, each team has to assemble a giant jigsaw puzzle of a steeple on a huge, steeple-shaped tray. And then they use a wheel to crank the assembled puzzle to a vertical position. Above and beyond trying to see what happens when the Council is encouraged to hold a mass religious service, this seems like one more example of religious insensitivity. They couldn't have maybe supplied a puzzle of a synagogue for the Green team, which contains Eric and Sophia? A Hindu temple for Anjay's Blue team? A giant High School Musical poster for Yellow? In any case, the ranking of classes according to the order in which the teams finish will play out in the usual way. And that's even more true than they think right now. They have a half-hour to get the reward for the whole town. A half-hour? To put together puzzles? This must not be a very good reward.
The showdown begins. What can I tell you about competitive jigsaw puzzle assembly? Blue and Red appear to take an early lead, with Green bringing up the rear, as they do. It's general confusion over there, as usual. Morgan interviews that although the Green team is pretty smart, little Alex and Mallory have outsized brains for their little bodies. And indeed, we see that it's the two youngest Blues leading the team on this challenge rather than Blaine or Anjay or even Greg, whose CV apparently has a glaring omission where his jigsaw puzzle factory experience should be. The editing suggests that Blue finishes its puzzle only seconds before Red, but I don't know how reliable that is. Both teams rush to their wheels and start turning. There's some kind of cruel gear ratio on those things, because despite the wheels being spun very quickly, the puzzles are rising veeeeery slowly. Greg turns the Blue wheel by himself, because they soon realize that more hands on the wheel are not an advantage. Blue holds onto its lead and finishes first, returning them to the Upper Class. Red finishes shortly thereafter and becomes the Merchants.
With five minutes left -- because it's taking them nearly a half hour to put together a damn jigsaw puzzle with pieces the size of their torsos -- Green and Yellow seem just about even. "I don't know what goes wrong, but something always goes wrong," Laurel interviews. Well, she did pick her team based on individual leadership ability. Could she just have too many captains on the bridge? In any event, Yellow finishes its puzzle first. Sophia ruefully interviews about Green's unambitious yet perfectly noble goal: "We just wanted to rub Yellow's face in the dirt. We just really, really wanted them to be laborers." Is that so wrong? With two minutes left, Green and Yellow are both cranking up, and it might just be possible for the bigger kids on Green to pass up Yellow. Michael interviews that nobody wants the Yellow team to be the cooks again, for obvious reasons. But Yellow takes third. Taylor is typically magnanimous in victory during a post-challenge interview: "If y'all don't like our food, y'all can just starve yourselves, 'cause too bad." Yes, that's the kind of attitude that's going to make the new Bonanza City successful where the attempt failed. There were just too many people prepared to feed the town back then. Green finishes with nearly a full minute still on the clock, meaning the town won its reward. So that's the good news.
To the Yellow team, Jonathan says, "Out of the Upper Class." All the other teams cheer at the decline in Yellow's fortunes. "Back to the kitchen," Jonathan adds. All the other teams look unhappy at this decline in their own fortunes. Including the Yellow team, if you can believe the nerve. "Thumbs down," Taylor says, as if this development is going to change her daily routine one whit. Jonathan prepares to reveal the rewards, claiming it's "instant gratification versus spiritual salvation." Sure, not to stack the deck or anything. Choice number one: a miniature golf course to go in the middle of the city. Choice number two (and here, everyone looks nervous, like they're about to see something good for them that they're going to get stuck with instead): a desk that holds a whole library of what Jonathan calls "holy books." And indeed, we see several Bibles, a Quran, a Torah, and the various Gods know what else. There looks to be a book for every kid in the town. Jonathan tells the Council to go take a walk to make their decision. The Council, to their credit, flatly refuses. They say they're putting it up to a vote. Wow, it only took them four showdowns to figure that out. There's some requisite yelling. Interestingly, Sophia's among the group hollering for the Bibles. "If you don't make the right choice, this town will fail just like it did in the 1880s," Zach drama-queens in an interview. Why can't they compromise? Take the holy texts, keep a few of them, and make their own mini golf course out of the rest. This isn't hard, people.
Back from commercials, the Council calls a vote by show of hands. The editors manufacture a dramatic pause before several kids raise their hands. And then when the book faction gets to vote, their rising hands are accompanied by angelic chimes on the soundtrack, as if the entire town is being bodily assumed into the ideal afterlife of its choice. Books it is, then. Laurel makes a conciliatory speech to the golf-voters, but says the town has spoken. In an interview, DK is philosophical: "Religious texts doesn't sound as much fun as an evening of golfing, but it's a chance to grow as a person." Tell that to your handicap.
The books and the kids relocate to the mess hall, where everyone digs through them. (The books, that is.) Zach and another kid (Hunter, I think, maybe) do a side-by-side reading of the Torah and King James versions of Genesis, respectively, and find that they're not so different after all. But let's see which of the two of them finishes his book first.
Anjay, meanwhile, is having a more solitary moment. He's appropriated an old outdoor firepit to use as a makeshift altar, while the editors have appropriated a Ravi Shankar record in order to make this as offensive as possible. Oh, wait, I spoke too soon -- here are Taylor and Kelsey and another girl from the Yellow team, watching Anjay from about five feet away and whispering to each other as he prays in what may be Hindi, not that I'm any less ignorant than they are. During a pause, Kelsey asks him politely enough about Hinduism. Anjay matter-of-factly informs her about the 330 million gods thing. "Wha -- whaaat?" Kelsey stammers, as though the bottom has just fallen out of her world. He continues his ritual, as Kelsey watches him in awe. And then she takes a turn at the altar herself after he's gone, mimicking some of the movements she saw Anjay make. I don't think she's trying to be disrespectful. But since I probably know even less about the religion than she does now, I really can't say.
We've gotten this far into the episode before bringing up The Kid Who May Go Home This Week, so it's overdue. This time it's nine-year-old Cody, who is alone in his bunkhouse, tearfully reading a letter he got from his girlfriend two days before he left for Bonanza City. Wait, I need a ruling on this -- "girlfriend"? Dude, when I was nine, girls were still icky. ["Excuse me, we were not. You were icky." -- Miss Alli] "I liked her since third grade," he tells us. As we contemplate the longevity of this enduring love that has lasted through the months, he decides to head over to the soda saloon and drown his sorrows in root beer. He gets his bottle to go, and he's still nursing it as he walks down the street with Campbell, looking like he just got a Dear John letter. Campbell suppresses his snickers and suggests a way for Cody to get the girl off his mind: "Going to look at cows is fun." Thank God I'm not fratty enough to make the obvious joke here. So they head out to the herd, where an unexpected sight greets them: some of those "cows" have pretty big horns on them. This is where the show really drives home the fact that despite being about the same age, being on the Yellow team, and sharing similar names, Cody and Colton are not the same person. Because unlike Colton, Cody and Campbell wisely decide that right here is just about as close to the steers and/or bulls as they care to get. "Let's go over here, Cody," Campbell suggests. Wise.
It's time to get a meal together, and naturally, the only member of the Yellow team in the kitchen is Zach. Oops, hang on, there's Kelsey, who was probably just wandering by on her way back from trying out some other religions, and decided upon seeing the crowd of irritated members of other districts that she ought to stick around. Mike interviews that Yellow is shirking and Taylor isn't doing anything about it (which is not actually true -- she's ringleading the shirking). Zach interviews that Taylor isn't keeping her promise to work hard. And then Laurel and Morgan head across the street to lay a little verbal smackdown on Taylor. Which she doesn't even bother to pretend to care about, as she sits at her table in the Saloon with her sycophants, tittering into her shot glass. I really hope Taylor's parents put her in charge of dishes for forty days after she gets home. After getting nowhere with their attempts to shame Taylor off of her little beauty-queen ass, Laurel and Morgan leave, realizing they can't make Taylor do anything. Well, seriously. What kind of "world" are they supposed to build when the kit that the adults provided them didn't provide any disincentives for goofing off?
At some point, Zach has the kitchen to himself again, presumably after lunch service has finished. And it's a veritable dish holocaust in there. Zach vows to go out and round up every single person he sees, "And they're going to do these dishes, whether they like it or not."
First up for the dish draft is Mike, who was going to do a little light religious reading, but Zach talks him into helping. The kid flatly turns Zach down at first, but then agrees. Things don't go as well with Blaine, who mutters, "Yeah, I don't know, maybe," and then runs away, making Zach chase after him.
But ultimately, Zach seems to have assembled quite a force to handle the dishes, and he thanks everyone for their help. In fact, enough people are there to turn it into a social event, as we see everyone laughing and flicking dishwater at each other. Way more fun than sitting in the saloon drinking root beer shots with Taylor. Laurel interviews that Zach is doing a great job, and deserves Gold Star consideration. She adds that Zach is a good leader for Yellow. "Maybe even a better leader than Taylor," she ventures. Wow, don't go too far out on that limb there.
When everyone wakes up on Day 13, something weird is going on. For one thing, you've got "The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies" from The Nutcracker on the soundtrack. And for another, you've got snow falling outside. Different kids have different reactions to it. "Crap. I hate snow," Mike whispers at the window. Which got him some grief on the boards, but I remember a winter when I was his age that never seemed to end, and I'm still not entirely over it. But that was in Minnesota, of course, so there you go. Mallory tries to catch some snowflakes on her tongue. Somebody rides Sophia's bike through the snowy street. Jared stands outside and yells, "I wanna become a snowman!" Try less talking, then. Actually, that might be a good general rule for Jared.
Unsurprisingly, the snow doesn't seem to last long. Which means that instead of a becoming a magical white landscape, the town is pretty much full of extra-cold mud. The Council sits in the Saloon to discuss the Gold Star. Laurel nominates Zach, for obvious reasons. "And he's one of the few people on the Yellow team working," Mike loudly remarks. Taylor's face is like, I'm sitting right here. Nobody cares. She actually has the nads in an interview to say that Zach is "kind of bossy." Maybe Taylor should deal with that. Anjay brings up Morgan, and that's someone else Laurel can get behind. Mike agrees in an interview that Morgan has stepped up, and has become like a mother to the town. Laurel also suggests Greg, and Taylor agrees that Greg's a good worker. And Anjay points out that Greg was invaluable in the Showdown: "He was able to turn the crank to get it up before Red did." Like Mike needs another reason to hate Greg. And in the interview, Mike repeats his theory that working for the Gold Star should make you ineligible for it. Never get tired of that one. The editors give us shots of the contenders -- Greg, Morgan, Zach -- so we can think about it during the commercial, while the Council looks pensive.
Town Hall meeting. In an interview, Greg admits that he doesn't know who will get the Gold Star this week. He says both he and Zach have been doing well, so it'll be "interesting." Plus we haven't seen Greg shove or yell at anyone all episode, so anything is possible. The meeting starts as it usually does, with Jonathan asking everyone if they approve of the Council's performance. A minority of hands goes up. The disapproval ratings are much higher. Olivia is the first to speak: "Some of them are not showing strong enough leadership, and the other ones are just not working hard enough in my opinion." Plus they gave her little sister $20,000 for her birthday last week, so Olivia's clearly got an axe to grind. Pharaoh says that Taylor doesn't work as hard as the other Council members, which has to sting given that Pharaoh is on Taylor's team. Zach stands to say that Taylor has leadership skills -- she's just using them for evil instead of good. Taylor snaps at him to sit down: "Uh, you're...gonna be scrubbin' toilets with the Green team!" You think Taylor's parents invited all the neighbors over to watch their little girl on TV every week when this show started? I bet they don't do that any more. Zach refuses to be cowed: "Stop threatening us, Taylor!" he yells, telling her that isn't her job. Jonathan cheerfully remarks to Taylor, "You either have a really thick skin or you just don't listen. Doesn't it get to you?" Taylor: "A little, but not much." So Jonathan decides to move on. Of course he does. The last thing we want is for any of this to get resolved.
The item of business is whether anyone wants to go home. The camera finds some likely quitters, and Cody makes it official when he raises his hand. The whole room is devastated -- much worse than when Jimmy left. Taylor, in particular, looks much more wounded by this defection than by the general agreement that she sucks. However will she reallocate her team's resources to cover Cody's share of the slacking off? Cody tearfully says that this is the longest he's ever been away from his family. Jonathan calls Cody up to ask if leaving is good or bad. Cody says it's both: on the one hand, he's going to see his family, but on the other, "I'm never gonna see the friends I made here ever again." Whoa, that's heavy. He's already that certain that the ratings aren't gong to be high enough to justify a reunion show? "I'm sorry for all of the people that supported me," he says, "but I can't stay here any longer." There isn't a dry eye in the house (except for Jonathan's) as he hugs Cody, just as he didn't hug Jimmy. Cody also stops to hug his buddy Campbell on his way out, and Campbell lets Morgan hold him comfortingly. "He was my best bud," Campbell says after Cody's gone. Jonathan asks if Campbell's going to press on without him, and Campbell promises to try. They still have thirty-eight kids at the end of four episodes, which means this season is never going to end.
So now, let's give away some money! Jonathan lets the Council confer on whom to award the Gold Star, and after a moment, Anjay stands to make the announcement: "This person has worked really hard and doesn't complain about anything." Which eliminates Greg and Zach. "And makes everyone feel loved and encouraged," he adds, so it's even less surprising than it would have been to find out that this week's winner is Morgan. Her tearful speech from the front of the room: "I have the best friends in the world, and I'll never leave you, I promise." In your face, Cody! But she's going to be bummed in about twenty-seven days. Everyone applauds, and there's a shot of Michael sitting to Sophia, just to remind us that three of four Gold Star winners thus far have been from the Green team. As Jonathan sends her off to call her parents, Morgan interviews that she hasn't thought as much about the money as about how proud her parents will be. "It's the greatest feeling in the world," she says. Jonathan dismisses the meeting: "You're building a world. Now back to your bunks!" That cracks me up.
Morgan gets her dad on the phone and tells him all about the Gold Star, and that she won it. Her dad does a very convincing job of acting surprised for the reenactment cameras. Her mom doesn't quite sell it as well, and her dad interviews that he's sure Morgan got the Gold Star for her helpfulness. "That's just who she is," he says. Morgan interviews that she was right -- having her parents proud of her is indeed the best feeling in the world. You'd think she'd be used to that by now.
Not feeling so great? Campbell, who sits alone in the saloon drinking his root beer one shot at a time to the accompaniment of a mournful slide guitar. He admits that he too is homesick, but he's going to "stick it out for Cody."
Once again, Jared provides the entertainment for the closing credits, as he appears to have set up his own mini golf course in the middle of the street. Except it's more micro golf than mini golf, as it consists of a loose board for a club, a white jawbreaker for a ball, and a jar lying on its side in the mud to serve as the hole. Campbell looks on in bemusement, probably missing Cody more than ever.