By Kim
David says goodbye to Giada. What a rip-off! She didn't even get a meal out of it. They were together for, like, half an hour. Giada interviews that she didn't have time to talk to David, and that she's afraid that she'll get eliminated. Giada asks David if he'll promise that she can see Hurricane again. David laughs. David interviews that Giada is great and seems to like him for who he is, which is what he wants. Hurricane is like, "I'd like to see Giada again! She's got a great rack. Neigh!"
As Kristyna walks out of the house, David voice-overs that he didn't get much of a chance to talk to her on the group dates, so he's looking forward to one-on-one time. What a twist! This time, David is the one looking forward to the solo date. The producers of this show never stop surprising me. Kristyna meets David, and he tells her that she looks great. David is holding an umbrella as they walk down to a gondola. David comments that the weather isn't great, but that they'll still have fun. David voice-overs that they were supposed to have a romantic boat ride on the Arno River, but that it rained. Cut to pouring rain as David and Kristyna try to avoid getting soaked. Kristyna interviews that it was still nice. Kristyna spots an animal swimming in the water. David asks the gondolier, "What is that deal swimming? Is that a beaver?" He really could not be more of a hick. The gondolier says that it's a nutria. The poor gondolier doesn't even have a raincoat. Kristyna says that she saw a cute animal swimming, and that it was "a bit like a rat, but much nicer." David asks Kristyna if she's staying dry, and that they're the only ones crazy enough to be out on the river in the pouring rain. David interviews that the date went in the wrong direction, and that it started when Kristyna brought up Linda. Kristyna says that Linda wanted Kristyna to tell David that Linda's wanting to go home had nothing to do with David, and that he shouldn't take it personally.
David and Kristyna get off the boat, now that the rain is slowing, and head to a restaurant. David tries to make small talk, but Kristyna doesn't have much to say. David interviews that Kristyna is hard to talk to, because she just gives yes or no answers, and he doesn't know what's going on with her. Kristyna asks David if he likes cats or dogs better. David says that he has a cat, but that he likes dogs. But what he really likes are cows. Hurricane is like, "What about horses, bitch?" (I'm just going to insert Hurricane into every scene whether he's there or not.) Kristyna says that baby cows are cute. Unlike other baby animals, which are ugly as sin. Kristyna tells a story about a time when she went cow-tipping, and laughs at how the cows fell over. David voice-overs that he couldn't believe she was talking about cow-tipping, and that he's a cowboy. Yes, because cow-tipping is so much crueler than chasing them down while riding a horse and tying them up with ropes. David asks for the check. Outside, Kristyna asks David if he would call Linda if he had her number. What is she, Linda's pimp? David doesn't seem receptive, and asks why Kristyna keeps bringing up Linda. David interviews that it really bummed him out, because he didn't want to hear about Linda. David puts Kristyna in a car and she drives away. She's so toast. Which is a good thing, because her bad highlights are totally growing out and it's just going to get worse. Also, I'm glad she's going, because it's difficult to type out her name. I always want to switch the Y and the I around.
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