Previously: Snooki decides she'll never be Mike's friend again, then JWOWW encourages Mike to talk to Jionni at the baby shower. Also, Jenni's sick of Jionni not being around enough, and plans to talk to him about it. The drama! We start out this episode back at Rivoli's, with Vinny and Jionni heading outside to have their big talk. Vinny tells Jionni that he knows there's weird stuff between them, but he wishes them the best. Jionni says he knows it's been weird, but he's over it and he gave Snooki a second chance. Vinny gives him a lot of respect for that. Then Vinny interviews that he could never get back with his girl if she got with another guy the same night they broke up. So ... not so much respect, then? Jionni does continue, telling Vinny he has a problem with Vinny messing around saying the baby's his and not Jionni's. Vinny says he didn't mean anything by it, because he didn't know Jionni, but now that he knows him he won't do that anymore. Jionni says Nicole cares about Vinny, and he doesn't want shit between them. Jionni says he appreciates it, and they hug it out.
Jionni tells Snooki that it went well, and he respects it. Snooki says she's happy that she can invite him to the wedding. Jenni introduces the first game: a baby bottle chugging contest. Mike says later that it's hard to do, but he kinda likes it. Snooki shouts, "Suck it like a boobie!" Ron won, because he bit a bigger hole in the tip so it comes out quicker. Then we get to see lots of the classy gifts for Lorenzo: Shirts that say "I've got a situation in my diaper," "Future Guido," and "I have the biggest dick in the family." I hope that even Snooki won't put that last one on her child. Snooki also gets lots of wine and a bottle of Cristal. She says, "I have no idea what it is. But it sounds good."
Snooki asks Jionni when he's sleeping over , and he says whenever. She says she'd like to see him every day, so Jenni tells him to come around more often and take care of his girl. Everyone gives Jenni shit for being a bitch. But we all know they agree with her. Snooki says this is the happiest day of the summer because they're celebrating her baby, which she's been wanting to do. Mike then asks Snooks if she's having fun, and she basically ignores him. She says that it's hard for her to look at him because she has so much going on with getting engaged and having a baby in two months. Mike realizes he's going to have to man up and face this thing, since she won't even look him in the eye right now.
morning at the Shore House. Mike wakes up thinking about his fights with Nicole, or so the editors would have us believe, thanks to flashbacks. He does tell us he woke up thinking he needs to go apologize to Nicole. He heads out before even getting dressed. Jenni can't believe he's doing that, but wishes him luck. He says he really wants to salvage their friendship, and heads over. She answers the door and he asks if they can sit down and talk. She just glares at him, sending us to commercial.
After commercial, we repeat the door-answering sequence, but this time her glare quickly becomes, "Okay." She interviews that she's been waiting for him to talk to her and she wants to hear him out. He tells her that he feels bad that they don't talk anymore, so he wanted to come over and tell her that he's sorry about how things went down and that he maybe ruined their relationship. He says he really cares for her, and he's a different person now. She says it's really hard to forget everything that happened last summer, since he was completely talking shit behind her back and embarrassed her and Jionni. She says she's hurt because he did that to her as a friend, but also because he made a fool out of Jionni. Flashback, however, shows us that Snooki's the one who made a fool out of Jionni. But whatever. She asks why he did it, and he says he was protective of her, and that they were really tight. He says that she's the best friend he's had, and was the only girl he's really had as a friend. She agrees they were practically the same person, and got each other, which is why they were close, but you just don't do that to someone you're good friends with. He tells her that he's willing to fix whatever needs to be fixed, because she's important in his life and he doesn't want to lose her in his life. She says he kind of did. Then she tells him it's hard to forget it, but whatever, she's over it and has a lot going on. He asks if she kind of accepts his apology. She says she accepts it, and is going to try, but it's really hard. He says he understands, tells her she's beautiful and that he's happy for her and hopes to be there with her if she ever needs him. Then he asks if they can hug, kiss on the cheek, or high five. She starts with a high five, which Mike thinks is a victory after not speaking for a year.
Sam decides she wants to lock the boys out on the deck as a prank. None of the other girls are interested. Sam heads up there, where the guys are talking about the girls, tells them hi and she'll leave them alone, then locks them out there. Pauly's like, "They're going to prank us." They all agree they're up to something, so Pauly gets up to go see and discovers the locked door. They think the girls are going to come and hit them with water balloons, but Vinny says he'll punch them in the face if they do. Because he's from Staten Island. Where apparently they make 'em real classy. The guys think they can jump down to the lower deck, and they throw a pillow down as a test. Mike's not afraid because he always lands on his feet. Sam decides to go unlock the door because she doesn't want to do it anymore. Mike's about to jump when Sam lets them out. But Pauly thinks the girls should have learned they are worse pranksters. Ron lectures Sam about her actions, like he's her father.
Mike, Pauly, and Ron head to GTL, while Vinny stays home sipping cold medicine. They go to the tanning salon, where Paula's working. Mike thinks she's looking fine, and Pauly says, "Awkward!" Ron tells us it's really not that awkward until he and Pauly make it so. Paula leaves a note for Mike in his tanning bed, but he waits to read it until they're home. Vinny reads it aloud to the whole house. She basically tells him how much she misses him, how patience has been important in their four years and she's pretty good at it. "LOL." Vinny's horrified that she put LOL in a note, but Snooki's like, "I still put it!" She says Mike makes her so happy and is the most special thing in her life. She asks him to not give up on her either, and to give her the effort and love she's always given to him. He says he likes the note and she looked hot again today. Vinny says she's back to being the booty call. Both Snooki and Mike are happy to be participating in this conversation together. Snooki says Paula's pretty, and she stares at her. Mike agrees and is feeling pretty good about her now.
They're interrupted by a food delivery, and sit to eat. Snooki wants to know if Vinny's contagious, and since he isn't unless he sneezes on her (his medical opinion), they're going to hang out tonight while everyone else goes out. Snooki wants to ride her scooter on the boardwalk, and Vinny's down. Everyone else (except Jenni, whose stomach is in knots) gets ready to go out to Aztec. Vinny and Nicole talk about how they feel old, even though they're the youngest in the house. Vinny says, "Merp." Which is pretty funny because he says it with no excitement whatsoever. Vinny and Nicole cruise around in scooters on the boardwalk and pretend they're old. Nicole says they'll totally rock their scooters when they're old, and she thinks Vinny will make the best old man ever because he's already getting started.
Aztec. Mike just drinks Red Bull. Pauly says he's drinking the same thing, except his had vodka. Paula shows up, looking cute. Mike's partly excited, and partly doesn't know what to do with her. Then she tries to hand him her drink, and he's like, "Seriously? You know I just got out of rehab." She apologizes and takes off, annoyed. Deena thinks this is the first time Mike has a right to be annoyed at Paula. She comes back without her drink, which she got someone else to hold, and tells him she doesn't want him mad at her all night. Vinny and Snooki show up in their scooters and everyone cheers. Pauly says that's how you make a club entrance. He's loving it because he's like a 12-year-old. Nicole and Vinny leave since she needs sleep and he's sick. She says, "It's weird, but I guess that's what old people do."
On the boardwalk, some guy yells at Nicole that she's fat, and Vinny gets pissed. He backs his scooter up. Which ... hilarious. Because, why not get off of it at this point? He is all gangster with his reverse beep on, yelling at people for calling a pregnant girl fat. Snooki tells him it's actually fun not to go to the club. He says his friendship with Nicole is finally back. They hug and fist-bump.
Back at Aztec, Mike's hitting on girls and Paula's checking him out from afar. Ron says she's being the creepy ex, then she comes over and tells the girl hitting on him how cute she is. Pauly: "Awkward!" Then she leaves, and Mike says he doesn't want her around when she's like this. He doesn't get how she doesn't know how to act around him by this point.
day, Snooki calls "Zen Jen," who reads energy, apparently. She invites her over to scare Deena by pretending there are ghosts. She thinks it's going to be funny, and they plan on her showing up the day. Everyone else wakes up, and it's time for Snooki's sonogram. The girls are coming with her, and Jionni meets her there, too. Snooki explains what a sonogram is, but I'll spare you her medical expertise. The girls all ooh and aww about him, and think it's so cool. The sonographer is like, "It's definitely a boy." They can't believe how big the penis is. Jionni is smiling big. And then the baby flips them off, which Jenni thinks is amazing. I do, too. He already knows how ridiculous these people are. Snooki's relieved that everything is okay. Jionni asks Jenni if she can come over tonight, and she has no idea why he's so defensive. She just wants him there for Snooki. Jenni asks Nicole what she thinks, but Nicole ignores it. She can't be in the middle of a fight with her bff and her baby daddy.
Back at the house, Vinny and Pauly decide to have a boys' night. Pauly thinks they should invite Jionni. Vinny doesn't really want to be his friend, but he thinks they need to get to know him and see what his intentions are with Snooki. Pauly wants to ask Jionni the following: What are his intentions, is he excited about the baby, is he excited about getting married, what does he do for a living, where does he live, where does he plan to live when he gets married, does he have brothers and sisters. I mean, is it possible they don't know this stuff? Have they really kept Jionni that distant from the group? Anyway, Pauly calls him up and invites him out. Jionni says he could meet them. Pauly says they never take Jionni out, and he doesn't know if they're pranking him, setting him up to fail, going to torture him, or what.
Deleted scene for tonight: Snooki's laying in her bed asking Jenni if she's going to have sex with Roger tonight. But Jenni says she's used to doing it during the day in the shower. Deena says that's what Sam and Ron do, and Sam laughs. Deena goes on to describe how Sam and Ron do it sideways, and Snooki says to wait until they're pregnant because that's all she does. Oh, thank you, MTV, for not leaving that on the cutting-room floor.
Boys' night time. The guys are going to dinner and then out, and the girls are staying home. Snooki asks Vinny why they're taking Jionni out and to please be nice to him. She tells him she trusts him. She tells us she feels bad for Jionni because she knows they can bust balls and she doesn't want them doing that to him, since he's the love of her life.
Girls' night is about cooking dinner together and having facials. But, really, what Deena doesn't know is that they're going to prank Deena. Someone knocks, and it's Zen Jen. Snooki says she's here to bless the house, and Deena's like, "You guys didn't tell me about this?" She's freaked out, because she says psychic stuff gives her anxiety. Deena thought they were having facials. Then Zen Jen walks around to check out the place, and says she gets a tingling sensation. Snooki wonders if it's in her vagina because that would be cool. But, sadly, it's her whole body. Deena really doesn't like this. At all. So we know it's not going to end well. Deena just knows there's something in here, like a ghost. She says she hasn't seen any ghosts in the house, but she's not looking and doesn't want to know. Zen Jen says she felt a presence by Deena's bed, and Deena wonders if that's why she has such bad dreams. Snooki interviews this is why they wanted a girls' night: to hang out, but also to prank Deena. The girls tell her not to bother with upstairs because the boys can sleep with the dead all they want.
They guys are gathered in a bar on red leather couches, smoking cigars. It's time for their sit-down with Jionni. He says he's glad they invited him because he wants to get to know them. Mike interviews that it's unorthodox because most of the guys have hooked up with her fiancée. Vinny says Nicole's always been a wild and crazy girl, but Jionni says if he thought of her like that, he wouldn't be here. He talks about his siblings spending Sunday night dinner with his family every week. They ask him about his work, and he says he has an ATM business. He owns ATMs, where he gets the fees in a club or whatever. He clarifies that he has never used her and has always had good intentions, which is why the Italy thing upset him so much. He tells them that's the only time she screwed up with him, and he forgave her. Vinny interviews that it's awkward he's bringing up Italy, which is just a conversation you don't want to have with the baby daddy of a girl you banged. Jionni tells Mike he thought he was a good guy, and Mike agrees, so Jionni wonders about the shit-talking, and Mike says he was being honest. This does not bode well for his rekindled friendship with Nicole, does it? But Mike says he apologized to Nicole, and he's also a different person than he used to be.
They tell him how happy he makes Nicole, and Ron says she's been unhappy that he's not here much. He asks why everyone keeps saying that, and they all say that's what Snooki keeps saying. Jionni says he's an hour and a half away, trying to run his business and he has to run his machines. Mike thinks it's really not that bad of a trip. Vinny says Snooks has a good heart. And Jionni agrees. But Vinny says Jenni's another story. Then Jionni invites them all to his bachelor party. Mike is sort of euphoric about it. Jionni says they've been through a lot, learned a lot and are stronger than ever. They toast him and welcome him to the family. Pauly says that means they're lifelong friends, and you can't buy that. They all shake and hug it out, bitches. Then they part, and Pauly suggests the strip club.
week: They have a strip show in their house. And Deena gets drunk and pees herself? Can't wait.
DeAnn, a writer and editor in Portland, Oregon, sort of likes watching these 30-somethings grow up. You can contact her at twopmodmars@gmail.com.