By Lady Lola
Panty debacle over, the kids shift their tits and jocks into place and get ready to head out. But not before having an extensive conversation with sound effects about how Deena's current constipatory dilemma will give new meaning to her nickname "Blast in a Glass." One girl, many cups. Deena gets pissy about the teasing, so Pauly diffuses the tension by taking a pratfall over the beanbag chair when he announces, "Cabs are he-ah!"
Karma. Pauly runs into his ex Gina. They catch up for a few minutes before Sitch literally elbows his way in, swoops Gina up, and starts bouncing her up and down on his junk. Pauly knows she's smart enough not to fall for Sitch's aggressive game, and she proves him right by immediately reporting back to Pauly that Sitch tried to take her home. Mission: Fail.
Meanwhile, Ronnie has found yet a new reason to whine now that he's encountering Karma for the first time alone -- by which he probably means "knowing I can't get my motorboat on with skanky chicks here then go home and sleep with Sammi." Snooki sees him moping and gives it to him straight. She tells him that he treated Sammi like dirt and that she deserves this time to herself. Ronnie remains in denial, claiming he's going to figure out how to get her back. Snooki advises against them as a couple, but Ronnie tells her matter-of-factly, "I get what I want." Snooki says she's done trying to talk sense into the two of them.
After Vinny and Snooki both find their tricks for the night, everyone walks home. Along the way, all the teasing from earlier (along with an unknown amount of alcohol) finally gets to Deena. She has a weepy meltdown about wanting to go home because she thinks no one loves her. Perhaps proving her point, The Situation calls her a "Sloppopotamus" -- a combination of a Slop Tart and hippopotamus. Once they get home, Ronnie of all people is the one to try to comfort her. She finally explains to the gang why she's upset. They insist they were just kidding, but Ronnie sees it's not helping. He takes her outside for a pep talk that's basically like, "No one's more pathetic than me. You can do this!" He also asks her to fetch him some hamburger fixings, and the distraction works, at least for now.
Snooki, on the other hand, only has one hunk of meat on her mind, and that's Gianni, the guy she met at Karma. As they head up to the Smush Room, Vinny recognizes Gianni as one of the entourage of cock blockers he encountered when he tried to scam on a girl of dubious age some weeks back. He enlists the other guys to clown Gianni like he did to Vinny. They have a few minutes of antics, but Snooki hasn't been laid in four months, and she is on a mission. She escapes Vinny's clutches and gets her squirrely ass back in there to get it in. In the middle of it, he asks her to say his name. (Who does that?) Snooki doesn't know it, though. Instead of going with Dick, which is really all that he means to her, she covers and gives him the ugliest name she can think of: Bernard. He seems momentarily annoyed, but ultimately get on with it.
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6