By Lady Lola
Meanwhile, Snooki and Deena slowly realize they've been in the car for more than an hour.
Back at the house, Situationally speaking, karma's a bitch. Sitch comes downstairs to find that his buddies abandoned him. He snuggles up on JWOWW's dog and chats with JWOWW about the guys' breach of etiquette. They decide to go get their own dinner and bring it back to the house, where Sitch literally eats five entrees by himself while having fake conversations with his roommates. I think it's meant to be funny. It's sad. Especially when crosscut with scenes of the others enjoying their dinners. That Sitch, always eating his feelings.
Over in Hazlet, Sammi packs up her stuff and prepares to return to the shore house. Probably because the producers literally threatened to murder her. Her mom and sister give her a pep talk that largely consists of, "For the love of God, don't take back Ronnie!" Sammi starts to leave, claiming the 72 hours she spent at home have made her a stronger, more self-actualized woman.
Back in the cab, things get increasingly tense as the girls realize that Sitch sent them to New York City. As the sun falls, they vow never to speak to him again. I hope this cab driver realizes he isn't getting paid for this shit. On the upside, Deena and Snooki convince the cabbie to take a pit stop at a liquor store so they can get wasted on the way back home. They end up happy to have gotten out of the house on a "road trip."
The guys arrive home from dinner to find a simmering Sitch. He claims they were cowardly, like troops without a general. I'm not so sure about that. The scene changes -- not with a title card but with a revoltingly loud belch from Vinny. When not assuming the fetal position in his bed, he goes to the confessional to say, "Every time I eat at Rivoli's, I want to die." What an endorsement. Ronnie and Pauly also lie down in various places throughout the house. JWOWW confirms for the guys that Sitch is mad after all he's done for them. Pauly thinks he deserved it, though he does offer Sitch some of his leftovers. Ha!
On the cab ride to nowhere, Snooki and Deena decide that Vinny now owes Snooki a smush for keeping this expensive secret from her. They head back inside with their bottles of liquor, screaming about what a good time they had clubbing in the city. It turns a little sour when Snooki calls Sitch a fuckin' asshole and a jerk-off. Sitch says they "defy the laws of intelligence." He assures them his prank didn't come from a bad place and insists they were supposed to be able to turn around at any time. Nevertheless, Snooki and Deena resolve to get back at him.
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