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It's a very special Thanksgiving episode! Jake declares war on turkeys, which is ironic since he's in one. Then some Russian bomber planes drop packages of food and supplies, along with greetings from China. Naturally, the Greens first suspect that the food is poisoned, but after Gray eats some with no ill effects, they decide to warehouse it all until they can decide how to divvy up the goods. Jonah tries to strong-arm Gracie, so I guess he does like knickknacks after all. Dad rescues her, puts an end to the deal with Jonah, and then basically blackmails her himself. But he's very cheerful about it, so I guess that makes it okay. Stanley discovers that a pallet of food and a gigantic generator were dropped on his property. Mimi goes off to tell Jake, and while she's gone, Jonah's men clobber Stanley and steal the goodies. Dad tries to reason with Jonah, and when that fails, he prepares to lead a daring assault. But before that can happen, Emily sneaks onto Jonah's compound, knocks some guy out, and steals the stuff back. So Emily's a ninja. Mitchell almost shoots her as she makes her getaway, but Jonah stops him. Also, Jake finds a microchip in the parachutes that identifies them as being from the USAF, just to muddy the waters a little more. The rest of the episode is spent moving everyone's storylines another inch forward. And giving Dad some funny lines, which is the main reason this episode got a "C+." Dad tells Eric that April's pregnant. Eric says that he'll help take care of the baby, but that he's sticking with Mary. Stanley and Mimi finally get it on. Hawkins helps to set up the generator so that he can bring cheesy pop songs back to Jericho. Thanks a lot, Hawkins. Oh yeah -- and someone ambushes Gracie in her store and murders her. And if it wasn't Mitchell who killed her, trying to frame Jonah so that he can take over the gang, I will be really and truly stunned. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: the same clips as always were shown, plus the townsfolk caught a glimpse of a Chinese news broadcast, Eric dumped his wife, and Jake wanted to form a militia.
We open with Jake, Stanley, and some redshirts scampering through some trees while tense music plays. Then they're hiding behind a log, and Jake signals to Stanley. I'm just guessing, but the hand signals look like they might mean "gouge out your eyes or shoot yourself -- Jericho is starting." Stanley shakes his head. He's a brave man. Did anyone seriously think they were facing any kind of enemy after the clips of Dad talking about how Jake should train people to defend the town? Jake signals to the redshirt -- or, technically, redhat -- to him, who's more agreeable. Redhat fires. A turkey squawks and flutters behind a tree. And another minute of TV time is flushed away. Jake sighs, "We'll get 'em time. Let's get back on patrol."
Then Jake and Stanley are walking along. Stanley says that everyone's trying, and they certainly are.
Hawkins Homestead. Hawkins explains to Darcy that he decided against joining the turkey-hunt. Darcy admits that it'd be nice to have a turkey for Thanksgiving. If only they lived in farm country. Allison and Samuel suddenly wander in, and Hawkins asks if they'll mind doing without a turkey. Allison does a double-take and tells her father, "I'm a vegetarian." Samuel says he's glad that Hawkins will be there for dinner, and asks why he always missed Thanksgiving before. Hawkins says that he was away on business trips: "[Thanksgiving] wasn't a big holiday where Daddy was working."
Main Street. Mom is apparently helping to run a food drive. You might wonder who would be stupid enough, even in this town, to donate food when everyone seems to be depending on Stanley's corn to survive. That question is answered when Emily walks up with a box of donations. As Mom adds packages of cheese-based food product and soup to her pile, she asks where Emily got all this stuff. Emily says that it was in her garage: "Roger was such a planner you'd think we already had five kids." Wow, Roger didn't even live in Jericho and he was already crazy. Mom seems to think that stockpiling food for your not-even-conceived-yet children is reasonable, but she does sound dubious about the idea of having five children. Emily admits that she was planning on just having two, and then Mom gets bored and abruptly invites Emily to join the Greens for Thanksgiving dinner. Emily says that she usually goes to her aunt's house. Mom seems relieved. Maybe I'm projecting. Then Emily asks if the Greens still play football before dinner, and Mom chuckles, "There are some things even the apocalypse can't change." Then Gray passes by carrying a ballot box, and Mom mentions that the election is going to be week. A week? Oh, right: if it's Thanksgiving now, it's been weeks since the last episode. Emily asks if Dad's nervous about the election, and Mom smirks, "Not as nervous as he should be." That's a weird thing to smirk about. Unless she means, "Not as nervous as he should be, considering I'm planning another murder attempt."
Jake and Stanley trudge down the road. Jake figures that the Jericho militia still needs weeks of training, sneering, "For every cop and veteran, we've got an accountant, a travel agent, and -- heh -- a farmer." Stanley isn't amused. He asks if Jake thinks Ravenwood will be back. Jake says, "When they run out of towns, yeah." In the country? So they've got a few generations to go before that's an issue. They try, and fail, to shoot another turkey. Then there's a new sound, and Jake and Stanley stare upward as a pair of jets zoom overhead, followed by two bombers.
Hawkins hears the planes up in the heavens, hustles his family into the Homestead basement, and hurries out. At Richmond Ranch, Mimi races outside and looks at the planes in a much less alliteration-friendly way. In town, everyone on Main Street boggles as the shadows of the airplanes pass over them.
And then we see a bunch of parachutes descending. Stanley wonders what the planes are dropping. "God only knows," says Jake. They both get into a truck and zoom off in pursuit of the parachutes.
Credit. So, it appears that Stanley has a working vehicle after all. Then why did Jake arrange for someone to give him, Mimi, and Bonnie a ride to town in the last episode? Argh. Oh, I should mention that both Johanna and Stephen Granade abandoned me for Thanksgiving. Their priorities are all out of whack. I may have to steal jokes from my nephew instead. And he only knows one knock-knock joke.
Stanley and Jake discover one of the parachutes, which has landed in a field. Attached to it is a large bundle. Stanley asks if it's a bomb, and Jake stops in his tracks, asking, "Why would someone put a parachute on a bomb?" When he turns back to the camera, he looks a little exasperated. Hee. Jake pulls out a knife and cuts open the bundle. Out fall packages of food. Jake turns over one that looks like it might be soybeans, maybe. The package has Chinese characters on it, and Stanley gasps, "What is that?" Jake says, "I'd tell you if I knew Chinese."
Main Street. Dad pulls off a tarp labeled "2/12" as the townsfolk yammer with excitement. People start reaching out to grab stuff, but Dad asks them to wait. Emily eyes the pile and asks, "Are we being invaded?" Dad points out that invasions usually feature troops, not food drops. Dad is wearing some gigantic orange sunglasses, by the way. Mom whines, "Why isn't our own government helping us?" Apparently, Mom hasn't been watching the "previously" montage. Good Cop and Bad Cop turn up, and Good Cop says that he saw twelve parachutes coming down. Dad orders "everyone with a working vehicle" to go track down the packages, and also asks Good Cop to track down Eric.
Bailey's. Mary tells Eric, "We're down to a few cases of liquor and three cases of near-beer." Eric adds, "And thirteen bottles of mustard." Mary says that the last batch from the still tasted like paint thinner, but that the townsfolk sucked it down anyway: "I guess if they're not all dead, we can stay open." Oh, we're supposed to be worried about whether the bar can stay in business. Given the amount of business Mary had for that first month or so, I think she should be okay for quite a while. Plus, it's not like she has much in the way of expenses, right? Are people paying Mary the same way they pay Gracie? Oh, or maybe they're paying with mustard. Sometimes I wonder why the writers seem so insistent on drawing our attention to the parts of this show that make no sense, but then I realize that they don't really have much choice. So then Mary and Eric share a tender moment, the highlight of which is Eric saying, "What else do we need? We've got each other and mustard." As they smooch, Good Cop enters and tells Eric that Dad wants to see him. Eric asks why, and explains that he was "in the back." Good Cop seems to think that's a double entendre, and mentions the food drops.
Jake and Stanley arrive in town with the food they picked up. Stanley wants to get back to the ranch, so Jake orders some poor extra, "Give him a hand," and marches off importantly. The extra was already moving to unload the truck, so he doesn't pause to applaud Stanley as I would have. Jake races up to Hawkins, who's eyeing another box, and asks, "What's it say?" Hawkins doesn't know, and Jake sniffs that Hawkins knows Chinese. Hawkins backs away as Jake mentions that Hawkins recognized that the news broadcast was in Mandarin. Hawkins says, "You can know when somebody's talking German, but that doesn't mean you can speak German." Jake says that's not what he meant, but...it is. Isn't it? Luckily, the conversation is interrupted when Dad marches over and asks if Jake saw the planes. Jake says that the jets were Mig-19s, and that the bombers were Antonovs. Hawkins notes that Jake knows a lot about military aircraft. This week, Jake's explanation for his random knowledge is: "My grandfather made sure of that." He adds that Antonov bombers haven't been made since the 1970s. Eric joins in time to ask, "Since when do we let foreign jets fly through our airspace?" Eric, you and Mom need to sit down and see if you can talk this over and think of anything unusual that's happened recently that might explain why wacky shit keeps happening. Hawkins mentions that Italian fighters helped patrol U.S. borders after 9/11. Incidentally, my new theory about Jake and Hawkins is that, before the bombs, they were both preparing to try out for Jeopardy. Dad says that Italy is an ally, and adds, "I imagine the last contact we had with [Russia and China] were those missiles we saw flying a few weeks back." Jake shakes his head, and at first I think he's going to point out that there's no particular reason to think that Russia or China was behind the attacks. But no, he's just preparing to say that they can't let anyone eat the food. Eric points out that everyone's hungry, but Jake says, "I don't care!" Mom suggests taking the discussion to somewhere less public, and they all amble toward Town Hall.
As they pedeconference through the lobby, Mom and Eric agree that the townsfolk need the food. Jake frets, "What if this is the second wave of the attacks? They wait until we're hungry and then they poison our food supply." Mom gasps, "Who would do that?" and Dad looks oddly gleeful as he says, "A smart enemy." Hawkins mentions the British giving smallpox-infected blankets to Indians, hoping to get the Daily Double. Mom doesn't like this kind of talk, I guess because the subject of poisoned food is a little too close to home. Dad suggests asking April if they can test the food somehow, adding that everyone handling the food should wear gloves. He adds that they won't distribute any food until they're sure it's safe, at which point they're interrupted by people shouting outside.
Back on Main Street, the townsfolk are starting to grab bags of food. Dad and Eric try bellowing at people to calm down, and are roundly ignored. Then Bad Cop fires his gun into the air and shrilly screams, "Everyone drop what you have and take a step back!" Hee hee. Everyone screams and runs for cover. Dad marches up and tells Bad Cop to put his gun away. Bad Cop looks surprised, because he didn't realize Dad was going to pull out his most fearsome weapon of all: a folksy speech. Dad loudly declares, "This is Jericho; this is not some third-world village." Which is true, although I think the word "even" should go after "not." Gray marches in and loudly proclaims that the people need food, to a chorus of agreement. He says, "This looks like help, and I say we take it." He pulls a small package of, I dunno, rice cakes, out of a bundle and, after hesitating slightly, chomps into one.
Richmond Ranch. Mimi jogs out of the field to greet Stanley as he drives up. She giddily waves at him and leads him back into the field. The field of corn. The lovely green corn growing in Stanley's field. In late November. Hey! I just wrote a haiku! Anyway, Stanley says that they're not under attack, and Mimi says she knows, chuckling, "I do talk to the neighbors, y'know." Stanley asks why she's so happy, and Mimi enthuses, "Because we have chocolate!"
Gray ducks under the police tape that now cordons off the street where the food drops are being collected. He tells Dad, "That stuff wasn't half bad, and I'm still alive." Dad harrumphs, "The only thing that proved is that you're clinically stupid." Hee. Dad says that he's not going to argue about whether or not to distribute the food in public. Gray asks if they should discuss it in Dad's office, adding, "Maybe this time I sucker-punch you?" Point for Gray. Dad tells Gray to get back to them if he's still alive tomorrow, and snits, "Do this town a favor and forget you want my job for one second." He walks away, followed by Eric, and they pick up a couple of fliers that were apparently in every box of food. The flier reads, "Do not fight," with a picture of two smiling people holding up a toddler. Written underneath is, "China is your friend." Eric asks whether this means they're about to be conquered. Jake materializes and says, "It could be the price we pay for free food, that's it!" I'm not really sure which side Jake is arguing, there. Dad says that they may have trouble keeping order. I guess the near-riot earlier was his first clue about that. He asks if they've gotten all of the pallets yet. Eric walks them around the bundles, explaining, "They're numbered. One through five is [sic] food. And this dried fish stuff." Heh. He goes on to say that numbers six and eight had medical supplies and water. Ten through twelve had grain, blankets, and fuel. Numbers seven and nine are missing, but Eric says people are looking for them. Jake frets that they need to find somewhere safe to store all the goodies.
Gracie's. Jonah and Mitchell are raiding the treasure room while Gracie whines. Jonah explains, "With those air drops, there's no telling what's out there to trade. We gotta be ready." Gracie complains that Jonah isn't adhering to their deal, and then swats Mitchell and snaps, "That is not yours!" Mitchell looms over her threateningly until Jonah waves him off. Then Jonah puts an arm around her and coos, "Mitchell and the other guys don't see our arrangement the way I do. If it was up to them, they'd just come in here and snap your neck." Then he and Mitchell head out, but right outside the door, they run into Dad. Whoopsie.
When we return, Dad smirks at Jonah, who seems a bit deflated. Then he tells Gracie that he wants to use her store as a distribution center for all the food. Gracie looks uncomfortable, and Dad adds, "Only thing is, you'll have to stop doing business with Jonah." Jonah gives Gracie his best glare, and then tells Dad, "We have a deal." Dad waits patiently, and Gracie finally sniffs, "Had a deal. The one you broke." Dad smugly moves out of the doorway so that Jonah and Mitchell can slink out. As they pass, Dad retrieves the goodies Mitchell tried to lay claim to, including a shotgun. Once Jonah and Mitchell have gone, Gracie sags with relief and tells Dad, "It's good to have you back." Dad isn't done sorting things out yet, though. He tells Gracie, "Those prices you've been charging? Those are gonna have to stop." Gracie starts to protest, and Dad cheerfully says, "If you don't like it, there's always Jonah." Gracie smiles ruefully and agrees to his terms, and Dad gives her a hug. Dad is awesome.
Mimi leads Stanley through the field to a slightly smashed pile of boxes, and promptly digs into a candy bar. Stanley cautions her that the food might not be okay. She shrugs, "It's not Teuscher, but in a pinch..." Stanley clarifies that the food might not be safe. Mimi rolls her eyes and says she has something else to show him.
In another part of the field, Mimi and Stanley walk up to a huge generator. I mean, huge. Weighs-several-tons huge. It's large, is what I'm saying. Mimi enthuses, "So we can get power back, communications..." Stanley starts to walk around the thing, but then realizes that it's going to be quite a hike, so he tells Mimi to take the truck and go tell Jake about her find. She hesitates, and asks if they'll have to give up the food. Stanley lectures that it's the town's food. Mimi says, "You mean, the town that was gonna blow that bridge and leave us for dead? That town?" Well then, go tell Eric, since he's the reason Jake didn't blow himself up. Damn that Eric! Stanley points out that they didn't blow up the bridge, plus "[Mimi was] on the other side of it at the time." He repeats his orders, and my question is, why doesn't Stanley go himself? Does he need to keep staring at the generator for some reason? Mimi sniffs, "We're not sharing the chocolate," and quirks her eyebrow in a very cute way before leaving.
Dad's office. I think. Was it always this big? Eric tells Mom and Dad that the food will all fit in Gracie's store. He hesitantly adds, "Regarding the medical supplies, would you guys mind...?" Mom says that she'll take them to April at the clinic. Eric starts to leave, and Mom asks if Eric's going to join them for Thanksgiving dinner. He says that he's going to spend the day with Mary. Mom looks horrified, and Dad quickly turns and says, "You're always welcome. Football starts at 3." Eric says that he doesn't want to put his folks in an awkward position, at which point Mom brightly says, "You could have thought of that before you moved in with your mistress and left your wife with us." Eric stares blankly for a moment, and then finally says that he'd better get back to work. Once he's gone, Dad sighs, "Now it feels like the holidays." He takes a seat behind the desk, possibly to protect his vital organs, as Mom turns her attention to him. She asks why he's acting like it's no big deal, and Dad says that he's trying not be a hypocrite. Ooo, scandalous history! Dad reminds Mom, "I seem to recall a time when my mother thought your name was 'The Other Woman.'" Mom says that this is different: "We were barely in our twenties, she wasn't your wife...and she wasn't pregnant." Dad sighs as Mom says that April is a few months pregnant now. She sadly adds that April made Mom promise not to tell Eric. Dad ponders that for a second, leans forward, and says, "So then, you're mad about Eric over something [that] he doesn't even know about." Hee. Did I mention that Dad is awesome?
Eric is carrying some cables or something through the field. Then he spots a truck zooming through the field, and starts to run as it passes by him.
Moments later, several guys are poking around at the generator as Stanley tries to activate his stealth mode. He turns just in time to get punched in the jaw by another guy with a more effective stealth mode. Stanley starts swinging, and gets in a good punch or two, but then there's a second baddie and it's all over for Stanley. They grab his arms and haul him toward the camera, and that's when the shot that made me laugh in the previews happens. Because Stanley's hair is all brushed forward and he's pushing his jaw forward and his eyes are all squinty, and hee. You kind of have to see it to understand. The rest of the baddies wander up and start using Stanley as a punching bag.
Back in town, extras are helping to cart all the food inside while Gray carps in the background. Dad snaps that they're trying to figure out how to distribute everything fairly: "It might have to last us through the winter." Bad Cop isn't happy to hear that, and starts arguing, "My family is hungry now, not when you decide it's okay for them to be hungry!" I'm not saying that he's arguing coherently, but he is arguing. Jake gets outraged in return, and shouts, "We're hungry too!" Dad breaks things up, saying that there's plenty of food to go around. Gray, hurt that he's being ignored, snaps, "It may come as a surprise to you Greens, but many of us can think for ourselves." Not that you'd know that from watching this show. Mimi wanders up, and can I just interrupt to point out that although the street is cordoned off with tape, and there are a few guys with guns standing guard, Mimi seems to have had no trouble making her way over to Jake. Maybe she used Stanley's teleporter. Anyway, she coos, "It is like Filene's Basement out here," which isn't that funny a line. Jake's bewildered head-shake is kind of funny, though, and Mimi's pained "Oh, never mind" is definitely amusing. Mimi says that they found two more drops at the ranch, including a generator. Jake gasps, "What are we doing here?," and hurries off. I ask what they're doing a lot myself while I'm watching the show, but I usually put the emphasis on a different word.
We get to see Mimi driving up to the field and stopping, so maybe she doesn't know about the teleporter. Which would explain why she's so bitter about the thing with the bridge.
Mimi and Jake trek through the corn. She insists, "It was right here." Which clearly it wasn't, because the way the corn is standing up straight instead of being smashed flat is kind of a clue. Jake suggests trying a different direction. Mimi, the thing was eight feet tall. Wake up from your chocolate-induced delirium! After padding the show out for a bit longer, we see a few broken cornstalks. Jake alertly stares off at the horizon while Mimi spots something a little closer. She gasps, and then they both run over to Stanley, who's collapsed in a bloody heap. Jake helpfully pats at Stanley and asks what happened. Stanley gasps, "Jonah." At which Jake stands up, looks around, and wipes his forehead as the camera pulls back to reveal that the generator is gone. And then he just goes on looking around grumpily, while Stanley bleeds quietly at his feet. Nice, Jake.
When we return, Gray's pulling a shotgun out of the locker in Dad's office. Dad harrumphs that they need a plan: "I'm not getting us into a fire-fight unless I can get us out." We hear, but do not see, Eric suggest going out to the compound for a chat with Jonah. He and Eric do seem to get along pretty well. And could we have an establishing shot, please? Every angle reveals someone new standing in another corner of the office. For instance, there's Bad Cop boggling and telling Eric, "Hell no!" And there's Good Cop, saying nothing. Then we finally see Eric, so he's not invisible. Phew. He argues that Jonah knows he's outnumbered. Gray snarks, "Yeah, let's talk to him, because that's worked out so well in the past!" Which...it has. I don't know. Jake says that they need the generator, and that the longer they wait, "the longer Jonah has to hide it, or to trade it off." Okay, I know Jake didn't see how big it was, but I like imagining Jonah hiding the generator. Maybe he could shove it inside a blue whale he happened to find. Although he is dealing with the citizens of Jericho, so if he painted it pink, I'm sure Stanley would say, "That can't be it; it was blue." On the other hand, Dad's awake, and he might see through the devious ruse. Anyway, Dad gives in, but declares that nobody fires until he says so. They all start grabbing guns, but when Gray offers to give the cops a lift, Dad tells him he's not invited along: "I have Jonah to worry about; I don't need someone shooting me in the back." Gray looks kind of hurt, and starts to move forward, but Hawkins shoves him back. Hey, Hawkins is there, too. That office really is gigantic. I was starting to think the generator might turn out to be in there.
Allison is helping Darcy to put the food on the table, grumping, "Maybe Dad will be home in time for our first Christmas together." Samuel insists that Hawkins will turn up, and Darcy agrees. Allison sniffs that Darcy always makes excuses for him, and exits.
Richmond Ranch. Stanley's sitting out on the porch, although at least there's a tree masking the hills behind him. He tells Mimi that he doesn't have a concussion, though he does appear to have a split lip. He starts toward the truck, saying that he's gonna go after Jonah. Mimi does not approve, and begs him not to go. Then she grabs his hand, and says, "If anything happened to you..." Stanley looks down curiously at her hand, and asks, "Are we supposed to be feeling sexual tension here?" Then Mimi tells him to think about Bonnie. I don't know why Stanley should think about Bonnie when the writers hardly ever do.
The Greens and the cops march out into the street with their shotguns. Emily spots Jake and demands to know where they're all going. Jake says, "To get the generator." Which Emily knows all about. Apparently. As everyone else gets into his or her car, Emily warns Jake that if they push Jonah, he'll push back. Jake asks, "What do you want me to do?," and without waiting for a response, he gets in his car, gives Emily a "Ha, guess I told you there!" look, and drives away.
Jake peers at Jonah through a pair of binoculars, and through the magic of gobos, so do we! He scans the rest of the compound and tells Hawkins that he doesn't see the pallets. But he spoke too soon, since immediately after that, he spots some familiar-looking broken cardboard boxes on the back of a truck. And there's the generator, too. How'd they lift that thing up onto the truck? Maybe they have a forklift. Maybe they'll try to kill Jake with a forklift. Jake hands the binoculars to Hawkins so that he can take a look, which I only mention because then we see a shot of the truck without the binocular-vision matting. I'm not sure if this is meant to show that Hawkins is too cool for gobos, or if it just means that you don't really need binoculars to see a huge truck fifty yards away. Either way, it's funny. Having finishing their recon, Hawkins and Jake scamper back out of sight.
One of Jonah's flunkies patrols the fence surrounding part of the compound. As he walks around a corner, someone shoves a backpack under the bottom of the chain link fence. Then this mysterious person snips the wires, loosening the fence enough to squeeze under it. Cut to the unknown person-- oh, screw it: it's Emily. But we're not supposed to know that yet. She rolls under a dumpster or something, and pulls her gear in after her just as another flunkie appears.
Dad walks up to the compound's gate, and the flunkies immediately raise their guns warily. Jonah's men are probably terrified, not so much that they can see Dad as that they can't see Mom. Why do you think they retreated to a compound in the first place? Jake, Eric, and the rest of the posse raise their own guns from behind whatever cover they can find. Jonah steps out as Dad reaches the gate. Which, hilariously, has signs reading "Quaker Freight." And they were probably just there at whatever location they're using, but I like to believe Jonah's a Quaker. Hey, Nixon was. Dad takes off his silly sunglasses and affects a friendly demeanor as he says, "Give us the generator, you keep everything else." Jonah says he doesn't know what Dad's talking about. Dad says that if he can take a look around, he'll show Jonah what he means. Dodge, thrust, parry spin! Jonah sniffs, "Private property still means something out here." Five miles outside town. Then Jonah admits that he might feel differently if he could still sell his wares at Gracie's. Dad gets bored, and says, "Open the gate or we're coming through." Jonah argues some more, points out that he saved the town from the menace of D.B. Sweeney, and basically says that he's taking the generator as payment for services rendered. Dad sighs that this won't end well for either of them, and walks away. As Dad walks back toward his li'l gang, Bad Cop hands him a gun.
We get an Emily's-eye-view of her sneaking up on one of Jonah's flunkies and clobbering him with a giant pair of shears, or something.
Dad cocks his rifle and says, "Let's get ready." Eric does a double-take, like, "Ready for what? Do we have a plan? Did I miss the plan again? Dammit!"
Jonah and a couple of his flunkies peer out through the fence like morons instead of maybe taking defensive positions or at the very least standing behind something so that they aren't such easy targets. Then we pan over the clobbered flunky, who has collapsed to the truck o' loot. The camera swings up just as the cab door closes. The truck starts up, and Jonah and his flunkies look around and shout helpfully. Mitchell stands in front of the truck, aims his rifle, and then is yanked out of the way by Jonah, who gasps, "Don't shoot!" The truck smashes through the fence. Outside, Jake aims at the cab, too, but then sees that Emily's driving. He stares as she passes by, with much the same expression he had when he was looking out at the horizon over Stanley's crumpled body.
Bailey's. Jake walks in and finds Emily playing pool with herself. That sounded dirty, sorry. He snaps, "What the hell were you thinking?" She says, "You could have gotten killed, and Jonah wouldn't have hurt me." Jake frets that Mitchell almost shot her. "Hell, we almost shot you," he adds, although he's the only other one we saw aiming at her. Emily harrumphs, "Back in high school you would have been right there with me." Jake says that they aren't kids anymore, which I guess means that now they shoot people instead of just robbing them. Emily smirks, "Why don't you just say 'Good job'?" Jake's all, wha? Emily smugs at him some more and returns to her game, and Jake can do nothing but flex his jaw in response. We cut away before he can say, "Okay, but can you tell us where you put the generator? And also, do you have a forklift?"
Dad's office. Eric's trying to drop off his gun and hurry to Mary, but Dad thinks it's time for a father-son chat. As they sit down, I notice a clock behind Dad set to 9:02. Aw, someone let the continuity people out of their cages. At least they have something to be thankful for now. Dad tells Eric that marriage is hard, and Eric sighs, "It's a little late for this speech, Dad." Dad says, "Well, fine, I'll just fast-forward to the one. Fatherhood is harder." I thought that first bit was kind of funny originally, but now, I think about the second bit, and how it must have been for him raising Jake and Eric, and trying to run this insane asylum of a town, and no doubt desperately trying to cover up the evidence of his wife's horrendous crimes. Poor, poor Dad. God. Now I'm depressed. Anyway, it's Eric's turn to be confused as Dad tells him that April's pregnant. Eric processes that in the usual Green way: he stares blankly into space for a minute. Dad says that he wasn't supposed to tell, but he kind of thought Eric should know. Eric paces back and forth and says that he's already tried to "work things out" with April. Dad advises, "Try harder." Eric says, "A bad marriage doesn't get better because you add a kid." Dad doesn't say, "Believe me, I know," but he does agree. However, he also sternly lectures Eric that he can't just think about himself anymore. Eric does some more of that blank staring. Dad looks around, frustrated, visibly trying to figure out what to say, and maybe Gerald McRaney knew exactly what he was doing when he signed on to do this show, because you certainly do notice that he can act. And by "notice," I mean "desperately cling to the fact." So Dad says, "Son, you and April had the bad luck to fall out of love at the same time, but you can get that back!" Eric hangs his head and finally admits that he didn't ever love April: "I love Mary. And I have to trust that." Dad mulls that over as Eric leaves.
Richmond Ranch. Mimi opens a first aid kit and pulls out a bottle as Stanley chuckles, "My old friend iodine." Mimi asks for instructions on how to apply the iodine to Stanley's cuts, which is odd. She starts dabbing at the cuts on his face, and Stanley winces and tries to beg off. Mimi insists, "The doctor said we have to clean the wounds twice a day. So please, off with the shirt." Stanley grimaces uncomfortably and then pulls off his flannel shirt, and based on the sound that makes, it fastens with snaps. Does he still wear Garanimals, too? Mimi smirks and says that Stanley's blushing, and he claims that it's a "reaction to the iodine." She dabs at the back of his neck, and Stanley gets fed up and starts pulling the shirt back on, and this just goes on and on. Eventually, Stanley suggests a different topic of conversation, and asks Mimi how she usually celebrates Thanksgiving. Mimi says that she and her mother go to a resort in Mexico and have mango margaritas. Then she starts idly stroking his shoulder as Stanley sniffs, "That sounds fun. Un-American, but fun." Then Mimi says that she's done, and Stanley pulls his shirt back on.
Jonah's doing some random workshop-y thing when Mitchell asks, "What's the plan?" Jonah says, "If I have to answer to you, Mitchell, we're in deeper trouble than I thought." Mitchell smirks that Jonah has to answer to "them," and then we see that quite a few other flunkies have gathered in the workshop. Jonah assures them that he always finds a way. He admits, "They outplayed us. Once. It happens." Mitchell corrects him: "She outplayed you." Jonah wheels and asks if Mitchell's mad because he didn't get to kill Emily. I can't speak for Mitchell, but I'm kind of bitter about it. Mitchell complains that Jonah let Dad chase him out of town, huffing, "You were taking orders from Gracie Leigh this morning!" Jonah asks if Mitchell thinks he can do better, and Mitchell backs down in his smirky way, and wanders out.
Gracie's. Eric hauls in a bundle of parachutes and asks if Jake wants to keep them. Maybe he should have asked that before picking them up. Jake says, "We can make some of those pants you used to wear in high school." Oh, that's an image I didn't need to have in my head. Jake looks at the chute, tears open the lining, and seems surprised when he pulls out a microchip. Yeah, that's something you'd find if you weren't looking for it. Eric wonders what it's for, and Jake says, "I don't know." Alarms go off and bells ring as Jake admits to not knowing something. Then he adds, "But I know who to ask."
Cut to Hawkins, explaining, because that's what he does. He says that the microchip is an RFID. "Like a barcode," Jake confirms. So he's familiar with the term, he just didn't recognize one when he saw it. Eric asks how Hawkins knows this, and Hawkins says, "I read a lot, Eric." Hee. Hawkins expositions that the RFIDs are used to track inventory, and that only one military service uses them: "These chutes? They're from our Air Force." Dad goes over the situation: "Vietnam-era planes flying through Kansas airspace doing a Chinese drop, and they're using U.S. Air Force equipment to do it." Eric gasps, "In what world does that make sense?" "Ours!" Jake enthuses. Well, sure.
Richmond Ranch. Mimi descends the stairs calling for Stanley. She finds him in the kitchen and tsks, "You are not supposed to be up!" Stanley says, "I don't have a turkey but --" and then grins widely: "I do have tequila." He admits that he's never even seen a mango, but says he does have Tang. Wow. And here I thought the grossest part of a drink featuring tequila would be the tequila. He picks up some glasses and presents Mimi with what he claims is "the world's finest Tango Margaritas." I'd call it "Spee" myself, but that's a long story. As Stanley sips from his own glass, Mimi seems kind of impressed, or maybe she just likes the series of silly faces he makes after swallowing the stuff. He gasps, "Oh, that's awesome," unconvincingly. Hm. I wonder if that kills the brain slugs. I wonder if it's worth it if it does. Mimi sets her own glass down and pointedly pushes it far, far away from her. And then she and Stanley start smooching. Finally!
Casa Green. Jake descends the stairs calling for Stanley, finds him in the kitchen, gets a glass of tang and tequila, and then gives Stanley a big kiss. Finally! Well, fine, he just comes down the stairs. But I did think he was at the ranch for a second. Instead, what happens is that he comes into the living room, where Mom hands him a football and warns him to take it easy on Dad. Jake pffts, "Are you kidding?" He clarifies that he thinks it's weird that Mom's carrying on the old traditions like it's a normal Thanksgiving. Mom says, "We're holding on to these traditions because of everything that happened out there." Dad finishes tying his sneakers, and April is pulling on her coat as Eric steps in. Dad jumps up and brightly says, "Oh! Son!" Even Eric isn't fooled, or else he sees the look April's giving him, because he quickly announces that he won't be staying for dinner. He asks if he could talk to April for a minute. Suddenly, there's a vapor trail where the rest of the Greens were. April ties a scarf around her neck and sniffs, "So. It's over." Eric agrees, and then asks when she was going to tell him about the baby. She blinks for a minute, and finally replies, "When I knew it wouldn't affect your decision." She says she didn't want Eric to stay with her just because of the baby. Eric says, "I think we're the only two people that agree on that." He then says he's sorry for what he did, but that he can't "live a lie" anymore. He adds, "I'll do whatever it takes to take care of that baby." April chokes back a sob and asks, "Why should I believe you?" Which is fair. Eric says, "You don't have to believe me. I'll just be there." And, perhaps proving April's point, Eric promptly turns around and leaves. I mean, I know, but still.
And suddenly it's nighttime. Hawkins finishes fussing with the generator while Bad Cop holds a flashlight. It's nice that the Greens went off to have their traditional dysfunctional family celebration and left these two to do the work. I think Gray can count on a few more votes because of this. Bad Cop asks how they can be sure the generator isn't a bomb. Well, because if they just wanted to blow you up, it would have been a lot less work just to drop a bomb on your horrible little town. Hawkins's answer is, "Gray's still alive, so let's risk it." Gray, who's manning another flashlight, laughs at that. As Hawkins pulls his coat on, he asks Bad Cop to wait ten minutes before firing it up. Bad Cop readily agrees, proving that he's still not paranoid enough.
Back to Casa Green. Jake picks up a plate that was presumably set for Eric and sniffs, "Guess we have one less dish to wash." Which seems kind of bitchy, considering that he's the one who told Eric to dump April and get it over with. Dad asks if Jake knew about Eric and Mary, and then quickly says that Jake doesn't have to answer. Jake says, "I knew a little." Right. He adds that Mary makes Eric happy, and Dad frets, "What about when she doesn't make him happy?" Jake tells Dad, "It's not your problem." Jesus. Jake, you might be borderline sociopathic, but some people aren't. So they worry about people they care about. Like their family members. Dad huffs, "My one goal when I was raising you boys was that, even when things got tough, you made the right choices, and I --" He's cut off when Mom loudly says, "Hi Emily!" She leads Emily in and sets a bowl of something on the table. Mom tells Emily that she missed the football game. Emily smirks, "I didn't want to show Jake up." Damn. If she'd just added "again," that would have been a funny line. So close! Jake smirks at Emily, and Dad watches with great trepidation. As Mom bustles into the kitchen, Dad mutters to her, "God, I hope April has a girl." Ha!
Hawkins arrives home, where his family is apparently just sitting down to eat. So he's not really late. But they've had plenty of time to practice glaring. He apologizes for being gone, and Darcy says, "That might have flown two hours ago." Hawkins says he knows, and then says, "Wait..." and hurries out of sight. He reappears a moment later holding everyone's coats, and asks them all to come with him. Mom hesitates, but Hawkins adds, "Please." Whereupon she rolls her eyes, hee, but they all get up and take their coats.
Hawkins leads his family up the generator, and gives Bad Cop the go-ahead. Bad Cop flips a switch and presses some buttons, and poof: a string of light bulbs start glowing over the street. They strung up lights. Okay. And a crowd of people has materialized. Or were they there all this time? Maybe they showed up early for Gracie's door-buster sales on Friday. Get an ear of corn for only three priceless heirlooms! The crowd applauds, the Hawkins family boggles, cue the pop song. Five For Fighting ask what kind of world you want. Judging by the expression on Gray's face, he wants a world where people aren't quite this thrilled by a string of lights. I can't say that I blame him.
While the pop song continues, we see the Greens munching their dinner. Then Eric and Mary kiss while dozens of pedestrians wander around aimlessly. Then the camera follows the lights over to Gracie's, where she's waving goodbye to someone. She walks back into her empty store and over to the register. And then she's grabbed from behind and stabbed. She collapses to the floor. You live by the jewelry box, you die by the jewelry box. Fade out.
time: the fall finale. I wish they said "final-LAY," like the WB announcer used to. Anyway, tune in when Jake says that they can't have vigilantes running around in Jericho. Unless their surname is "Green." And they're taunting me with zombies again.