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Dale finds Gracie's body at the store, and even before the credit appears, Mitchell turns up to finger Jonah as the murderer. Gray makes political hay out of what he claims is the first murder in Jericho in thirty years. Dad fails to make political hay out of how quickly Gray forgot that they used to have more than two cops in town. Speaking of whom: Good and Bad Cop get new jobs in a Greek Chorus. Gray forms a lynch mob, and goes hunting Jonah, who's hiding at Emily's house. Jake helps to chase away the mob, and shanghais Kenchy to tend to Jonah's Mitchell-induced injuries. To express his gratitude, Jonah flees. Meanwhile, Mom tells Dale that Gracie left the store to him in her will. so Dale punches Sean in celebration. Hawkins finds time to chat with his IM buddies, and tells them that he's totally grounded and can't come out and play. Gray catches Jonah, and gets elected Mayor. Mitchell mwah-ha-has at Dale, who tattles to Dad, who tries to tell Gray, who doesn't care. Got that? Yeah, I don't blame you. The point is, Jake double-dog dares Gray to shoot Jonah in cold blood. Gray flinches, and decides to exile Jonah instead, which sucks, because Jonah was so freaking cool. In soapier news: Mimi and Stanley manage to be cute, despite the scenes they are given. Bonnie maybe-hooks-up with Sean. Emily almost hooks up with Jake, except that's when a gang of refugees (or, dare we hope, zombies) arrive. Including Roger. We're still not done, though, because then Dale shoots Mitchell in a scene that's so self-consciously dramatic that it manages to wrap around to boring. And then Hawkins gets a spooky "See you soon" IM from the friends he dissed, along with some Google Earth images of him frolicking with his family. Welcome to the midseason cliffhanger. Want more? The full recap starts right below!
Previously: wow, the show hasn't even started and they're already lying to us. In the clips, we see Hawkins using his magic laptop. As soon as he logs in, we see a message that reads, "What is the target? Ours or theirs?' Hawkins leansover the keyboard and we hear him typing as "I'm compromised" appears on the screen. Except those were the questions he asked. He got "I'm compromised" as a reply; he didn't send that message.
Then the captions inform us that it's eight weeks after the bombs, and one day before the election. The episode took place on Thanksgiving. This episode clearly starts the day. By my calculations, it is indeed the fifty-sixth day since the bombs. That's all fine. I was actually impressed until I remembered that, in the last episode, I'm pretty sure that Emily said the elections were week. So, the show's already lied to us twice, and it hasn't actually started yet. New record!
We finally open on Hawkins at his laptop. He gets a message: "Traitor identified. Make contact ASAP." So, remember that time Jake saw Hawkins using the laptop with a satellite dish in his yard? Why'd he do that when the laptop seems to work just fine down in his bunker? Hawkins ponders and starts to type as we hear Samuel calling, "Dad, I need you! Right now!"
Hawkins steps out into the basement and finds Samuel holding a football and insisting that Hawkins teach him to play. Hawkins asks, "This is something that has to be done right now?" "Yeah," says Samuel, heading upstairs. After a second, Hawkins follows. Should have just put him in a drum when you had the chance, Hawkins.
Jake is unscrewing a plaque identifying the site of Jericho's first well. Do you think they take the kids on field trips to Jericho's well? I guess that's when the kids realize that they were born in the armpit of America and that there's no hope for them, and that very day they drop out of school to spend the rest of their lives drinking at Bailey's? Which is why their brains have atrophied. It all fits. Well, that's one mystery solved. Good on Jake for removing it. Sadly, we're reminded that it's too late for some people as Emily walks up to Jake and asks, "What're you doing?" Sigh. Jake explains that he's going to put a hand-pump on the well. Emily non sequiturs, "I remember another first time right over there," and points at something we can't see. Too much information. Jake alludes to one of Emily's "finer moments" behind Bailey's, adding, "Some people can't hold their apple wine coolers. You kept singing that depressing song by that bald girl." Emily hmphs, "That was Sinead O'Connor, and that was our song!" Jake says that he didn't get to vote on it, and...duh. That's not how it works, Jake. Emily changes topics again, and mentions the kiss Heather planted on Jake a month ago. Of course, then she saved Dad's life, and then she disappeared. I don't think Mom likes being foiled. Emily says that she doesn't want Heather to get hurt. Jake says, "I have no plans to do that." Which is an excellent non-answer to Emily's non-question.
Dale enters Gracie's and looks around for a minute. I can only assume that he needs to buy some condoms. He finds Gracie's body on the floor, and promptly starts sobbing as he hugs her corpse. Ew.
Cut to Dad, frowning at the floor where Gracie's body was. A crowd has gathered outside the store. Eric enters, followed by Gray, and Dad says that there were no witnesses. Gray immediately starts pissing Dad off, asking if they're sure Dale isn't the murderer, and sniffing, "Nobody is incapable [of murder] under the right circumstances." Good Cop leads Mitchell inside, and Gray whirls and immediately lunges at Mitchell. Dad snaps, "You back off!" Gray allows himself to be restrained. Mitchell, who has a cut over one eye as well as a bloody lip, looks at the nothing where Gracie was and says, "Jonah said he killed her, but I didn't believe him." He elaborates that Jonah turned up last night with a wounded arm and said that he killed Gracie to prove his manliness. The rest of Mitchell's story is, "He hit me with a tire iron, and I just saw him driving off." I like how he doesn't even try to explain why Jonah attacked him. Presumably he knows that the townsfolk are too dopey to poke holes in his story. But wait, perhaps not: Gray points out that Mitchell is not to be trusted. So Mitchell tries reverse psychology: "I wouldn't blame you if you locked me up right now. If you want any help tracking down Jonah, I'm ready." Dad abstains, and asks Eric to chat with Mitchell. When Mitchell's gone, Gray protests some more, and Dad harrumphs, "I'm trying to figure out what he knows. We can arrest him at any time." If you say so. Gray says that this is the town's first murder in thirty years, and Dad snaps that he's been Mayor for the past twenty-five years. Gray starts yelling, "This is what the election is about!" I thought it was about food. Or possibly the failure to maintain fallout shelters. Dad calls for the cops to escort "this civilian" away from the crime scene.
Jake grumpily says, "Just tell me the name of the song" as he walks Emily home. Emily chirps that she's not telling. Jake says, "I remember that it was sad and depressing." Both! As they reach the front door, Jake admires the house. Since I suspect The Interior League didn't limit themselves to Hawkins's front door, I'll mention that from the outside, at least, it's got two stories. But Emily's bedroom is on the first floor, because we've seen that there's a door to the outside in it. Have I mentioned that Emily's crazy? Hey, maybe Roger's been locked upstairs all this time. It's like Jane Eyre! Anyway, Emily says that the house is the first one she and Roger looked at. Jake opines, "When you know what you want, why keep looking?" Ooo, that's deep. Emily thanks Jake for the escort, and heads in.
Once inside, Emily is immediately confronted by Jonah, who's pointing a gun at her He's also got a bloody cloth wrapped around his right forearm, and says, "Don't say a word."
Credit. This seems like a good time to mention some of my favorite comments about this show. So I will! Warren Ellis: "The Jericho opener was retarded, so I'm not watching any more of that." Bert Ehrman: "Jericho is quickly proving itself to be even more lame than I originally suspected." Wing Chun: "Think of it this way: at least it's not Studio 60."
Jake marches into the sheriff's station and gives Dale his insincere condolences as Mom and Dad look on. Eric tells Jake about Mitchell's accusation while Mom keeps her arm wrapped protectively (or threateningly) around Dale. Dad mentions that Gracie "stood up to Jonah." Jake says that they should pull some men off their "patrol" to go Jonah-hunting. Dale wants to join the manhunt, but Mom nixes that: "There's something that I have to talk to you about." Jake and Eric warn Dad that Gray will use Gracie's murder to win votes. Dad harrumphs that they'll find Gracie's killer, but that he doesn't want to hear any more about politics. He exits, followed by his sons, while Mom rubs Dale's shoulder creepily.
At Bailey's, Good Cop and Bad Cop are performing "A View From the Gallery." It actually might be amusing to do a whole episode from their point of view. Of course, virtually everything they do on this show is pretty amusing already, so maybe they don't need to make any extra effort. But I'd like to see an episode focused on the cops making their rounds. Every so often, Jake could run in with some bizarre order ("We need you to collect every stapler in town right away!") and run off again. Anyway. Bad Cop says that Gray's planning to "make an example" of Jonah. He observes that Gray's a changed man after visiting Topeka. I imagine that visiting Topeka would be a life-altering experience in any situation. Bad Cop says, "I, for one, think [Gray's] got the right idea." Good Cop cleverly deduces that Bad Cop is going to vote for Gray, and Bad Cop declines comment: "This is still America." Good Cop harrumphs, "Just barely." And then they wander out. Bravo!
Bonnie returns home to the ranch from wherever she's been trapped for the past few weeks. Maybe she spent Thanksgiving with her cousin's family. Wise move. She finds clothes scattered across the floor, and with an exasperated expression, she walks over to the bathroom door, and stomps straight into Stanley's bedroom. Wait, what? Okay, first of all: I just looked at that scene from "Crossroads" again, and that room by the stairs is a bathroom. You can clearly see a tub. So the Interior League has struck again! Second: Bonnie's a little too comfortable walking right into her brother's bedroom without knocking. And yes, I realize that she wouldn't hear Stanley say "Come in," but Johanna's father is deaf. And he knocks before entering her bedroom so that at least she has some warning that he's about to come in. Anyway, Bonnie walks in and finds Stanley and Mimi smooching in bed. Bonnie's shocked, because she expected to find a bathroom behind that door. She quickly closes the door again and storms outside, heading for the truck. Stanley pauses to put on some jeans, and hurries out a few seconds later, still pulling on his shirt and boots. Then he runs over to where Bonnie is standing, arms spread in the universal sign for "What the hell?" Then we get captions as Stanley and Bonnie argue in ASL. Stanley says, "I thought you were gone!" Gone where? Bonnie's more upset about Stanley's taste in women, though, and when Stanley asks what's wrong with Mimi, Bonnie just gives him a look and gets back in the truck. Then she huffs that she's been working on the farm by herself: "Now you're screwing the IRS woman who wants to take the farm that's mine." Stanley says that's over the line, and Bonnie gives him another exasperated look and drives away.
Hawkins Homestead. Hawkins and Samuel are tossing the football back and forth in the front yard. Samuel has a question about passing, and when Hawkins doesn't understand, Samuel grumps, "Why do you suck at this?" Hawkins tells his son to watch his mouth, which is when Darcy bustles over, insisting that they need to wear jackets. Hawkins harrumphs that he should get back to work. But then he watches as Darcy instructs Samuel on how to throw the ball. They all bond for a second, and then Jake ruins everything by driving up to ask for help.
Cut to Jake driving Hawkins past a truck full of gun-toting dudes. Jake explains that they're headed for Jonah's compound. Hawkins asks whether Jonah has any friends or family in town he might be hiding out with. Jesus Christ, Jake is dumb. He goes straight past a stop sign that's marked "all-way" and pulls a U-turn. Tsk.
Dad's office. Mom insists that they'll catch Jonah, and tells Dale to sit down. She explains that Gracie changed her will after the bombs: "She left her store to you." Mom assures Dale that they don't expect him to run the store, but he needs to figure out what he wants to do. Dale moans that he can't take the store: "I called her a liar! I said the worst things." Mom says that families have fights, "but that doesn't erase everything that came before."
Hawkins and Jake pull up at Emily's, immediately followed by another truckload of posse members. As Gray and his gang, including Bad Cop, head for the house, Jake protests that "those of us who have been training to protect this town" can handle it. Gray snaps, "Yeah, you're doing a heck of a job." Ha! Gray says that he's seen other men out hunting, and claims that nobody will calm down until Jonah is caught. Emily wanders out to ask what's going on. Gray explains that Jonah killed Gracie, and that they'd like to search her house. Emily smirkily says no, and Jake adds, "She wouldn't hide him." Gray tries to insist, but Jake gets between Gray and the door. Bad Cop reappears to announce that Jonah isn't in the back yard. Hawkins offers to tag along with Gray's posse, and Gray grumpily acquiesces. As they leave, Gray quietly orders Bad Cop, "Watch this house." Bad Cop immediately turns his head to look back at the house as he continues walking. Hee. Unfortunately, he does not walk into a tree while doing that. Once Gray's gang has driven away, Jake tells Emily, "You didn't blink when you heard about Gracie; where is he?" He marches into the house. As soon as he's inside, Jake is greeted by Jonah aiming a gun at him.
Commercials. I hope every act break features Jonah waving his gun at people as they enter the house. And then, after they've got a house full of terrified extras, Jonah will say, "Oh, sorry, Mitchell superglued this gun to my hand. He's such a prankster!"
Instead, though, Jonah tells Jake that he didn't kill Gracie. Jake asks what's up with the gun, then. Jonah says he thinks that Jake might try to be "some kind of hero" and bring him in. Emily quietly notes that Jonah needs to see a doctor for his arm. Jonah snaps that he's not going into town. Isn't he in town already? He adds that he needs Jake's help. Jake says, "I'm not helping you do anything; for all I know you're a murderer." Jake, here's a tip: don't antagonize the guy pointing a gun at you. Jonah says that he was greeted by Mitchell and the rest of his men with the news that Gracie had been killed: "When I asked who did it, Mitchell said, 'You did. And I saw the whole thing.'" Then Mitchell attacked him, so Jonah conked Mitchell with a crowbar. I think Mitchell should reconsider his desire to take over Jonah's gang, if they just watched Jonah brain him and run away and didn't do a thing about it. Jonah also mentions that the rebellion is Emily's fault, since the men rebelled when Jonah let her get away with the generator. With his recriminations out of the way, Jonah suddenly collapses. As they help him to a chair, Jake proposes taking Jonah to Town Hall, but Jonah doesn't like that idea. Jake takes the time to harangue Jonah for putting Emily's life at risk. Emily snaps at him to shut up and get a doctor for Jonah.
Bonnie stands in front of Gracie's store, admiring the obligatory sidewalk memorial. There are teddy bears and cards and candles. Although the candles aren't lit, so maybe someone finally told the townsfolk that, in addition to their symbolic value, candles have some practical uses. Dale walks up, and Bonnie asks him what happened. After Dale explains about Gracie, Skylar rushes across the street, gasping, "I just heard," and gives Dale a hug. And then Sean appears with a couple of other kids, and asks Dale to open the store up so that they can "have some fun." He's starved for entertainment. Dale tells him to back off, and informs everyone that he owns the store now. Sean sniffs, "Worked out for you, then." Dale takes a swing at Sean, and the kids all help to separate Sean and Dale. Well, Sean's friends hold Sean back, and Skylar, all by herself, wraps her arms around Dale's waist and hauls him back. Hee. Sean taunts Dale some more, and Skylar tells him to get lost. Bonnie pushes Sean back, and he looks her up and down and says, "See you around?"
Hawkins returns home and tells Darcy that they're still searching for Jonah. He says he needs to check something in the bunker, and then he's headed out again. Darcy grumps that he's always running off with his friends, and Hawkins says, "It's not all that different than before." Which is kind of her point. She quietly says that the kids are getting used to having him around. Hawkins asks, "What about you?" "Yeah, me too," she admits. Then she tells him to lock up the bunker, or let the posse go without him: "The damn world ended. Can't you just be with us?"
Bailey's. Kenchy's at the bar, so he's acclimated to town pretty well. Jake hurries in and asks him to come along. When Kenchy asks where they're going, Jake says, "I'll tell you on the way to the medical center." Why not just say "the medical center," then? Even if you go somewhere else afterward, it's still true. Kenchy sniffs that Jake should get a real doctor, and goes on gulping his drink. Jake says, "A real doctor wouldn't do what I need done." He takes Kenchy's glass away and yanks him along by the arm.
Cut to Kenchy bandaging Jonah's arm, noting, "Whoever did this used a serrated edge." He finishes up with the arm and tells Jake that he gave Jonah a shot for the pain. "He'll probably fall asleep now." They all move into the dining room as Kenchy asks if Jonah is the man who killed Gracie. Jake says that Jonah denies committing the crime. Kenchy and Emily agree that nobody's going to care much about pesky little facts. Jake says that he'll get Dad, who'll fix everything. Emily agrees, so Jake hands her Jonah's gun and tells her to lock the door. Once Jake has gone, Kenchy goes to wash his hands, and Emily goes along to watch, I guess. The camera pulls back to where Jonah is collapsed on a couch. He raises his head and looks around.
Cut to Jonah sneaking out through the yard.
Hawkins Homestead. In the bunker, Hawkins fires up the laptop and gets a message: "Response is critical. Send your coordinates ASAP." Hawkins types, "My coordinates are" and then pauses to ponder things. Then he deletes the message and types, "Compromised. Proceed without me."
In front of the store, Gray speechifies that Gracie's murder shows that they're not safe. I'd have hoped that the bombs, fires, missiles, and supply shortages would have gotten that point across already. Unless he means they aren't safe from the Greens. He goes on rousing the rabble, saying that bad guys will see the townsfolk as targets now. Dad watches from outside Town Hall as Gray suggests that they should "make an example" of Jonah. The crowd murmurs agreeably, as they always do. I wonder if Jake secretly wanted to blow up the bridge because if one person ever jumped off it, the rest of the townsfolk would follow like lemmings. Speaking of Jake, that's when he walks over to chat with Dad. Gray winds up by reminding everyone to vote for him tomorrow.
Stanley brings a pail of water over to where Mimi is scrubbing laundry outside. She complains when he splashes the water, and he responds by saying, "Sorry about that, Mom," and slapping her ass. Mimi is all, oh no, and he drawls, "C'mon, you can call me 'Pa.'" Hee. Mimi says that's creepy, and she's not wrong. Then as Stanley starts hanging laundry on the clothesline, she starts to make the "That was a mistake" speech. But praise the lord, this isn't setting up another pointless hurdle for their relationship, mainly because Stanley ignores her. Mimi makes another attempt, saying that she hasn't had many second dates in the past five years. She asks if Stanley can guess why, and he grins, "Because you're obnoxious and demanding and totally self-absorbed." Mimi agrees with a sigh, and says that Stanley is "simple, sweet, [and] bull-headed." She says that their relationship will never work, but Stanley counters, "That's what they said about Brangelina." He asks what they'd be called: "Stimiley? Mimiley? Stimi!" Okay, I'll admit that "Stimi" is pretty funny. But still: NO. Mimi cracks up, calls Stanley an idiot, and with that out of the way, they start smooching again.
Dad's office. Eric and Dad are very cranky because Jake has found Jonah and wants to arrange for him to be brought in peacefully. You'd think they'd be happier about it. Dad explains that if anyone finds out that Jake helped to hide Jonah from the posse, they'll all be in trouble. Jake shares Jonah's story about being framed by Mitchell, and says that it could be true. Dad goes on yelling that they need to go bring Jonah in, and Jake rightly snaps, "That's what I came here for!" Then Good Cop lets Emily in, and she announces, "He's gone." Oopsie.
And then it's night. Jonah dashes across a road as an SUV zooms up behind him. He rolls down an embankment as we hear the posse in hot pursuit. After a little more scampering around, Jonah finally collapses as the posse surrounds him.
Cut to the posse arriving in town with Jonah. The crowd of men whoops and applauds as Gray hauls Jonah up the steps of Town Hall. Jake watches unhappily, and does his head-pat of vexation.
When we return from the commercials, Bad Cop is swearing in newly-elected Mayor Gray Anderson on the steps of Town Hall. Huh. So it's two days later, I guess? It seems like an awful lot of stuff is happening in between the scenes we see. Mom and Dad join the crowd in applauding. Gray makes another speech, announcing that his first act as mayor is to order distribution of the supplies from the food drop. Everyone applauds enthusiastically. Gray goes on to say that Gracie's murderer "will be held to account." In his cell, Jonah listens sadly as Gray adds that justice will be swift and sure. Mom and Dad don't join in the applause this time. I guess they're opposed to justice. Though, considering Mom's many crimes, they should be.
Inside, Jake tells Jonah not to take Gray's pronouncements too seriously. Then he asks, "Why'd you run? My father was gonna bring you in." And Gray did instead. Which probably sucked for Dad, but I don't see how it would have worked out any better for Jonah. Then Emily appears at the end of the hall. Jake walks up to her and mutters, "I didn't want this to happen." Emily hmphs, "Jonah made his own bed." She apologizes for maybe losing the election for Dad, but Jake brushes that off and exits.
Mitchell cheerfully enters Gracie's and beams at Dale and Skylar, who appear to be tidying up. He asks Skylar to give the menfolk some private time, and after a dubious look, she tells Dale she'll be back in a second. Once she's gone, Mitchell puts one hand on the back of Dale's neck and says they're partners now. He explains that Dale will need protection to keep the store going. Dale duhs, "From who? Jonah's in jail." Mitchell shoves Dale against some shelves and puts a knife to Dale's throat as he menaces, "Don't make the same mistake that Gracie made. I get half the cut." Then he whimsically bonks Dale on the nose with the flat of the blade, and exits.
Richmond Ranch. Stanley is shocked to find Mimi knitting. She explains, "I learned in the dorm at Vassar." Then she adds, "Not so hot for me now, are you?" Stanley awkwardly explains that the piece she's knitting used to be his mother's. Mimi stammers out an apology, explaining that she just found it in a trunk. She offers to put it back, but Stanley insists that it's okay, chuckling, "I actually think my mother would have liked you." Mimi beams, "Really?" Stanley admits, "No. Not at all." Mimi stabs him in the neck with one of the knitting needles. Oh, fine: they start kissing again. Suddenly, Stanley pushes Mimi back and says, "Manly!" Which is probably not the best thing to say to a girl you're making out with. He clarifies, "Our tabloid name! Mimi and Stanley: Manley!" Mimi asks, "Is that really the kind of message you want to be putting out there?"He admits that maybe "Stimi" is better after all. As they smooch, Bonnie wanders in, slams a drawer loudly to get their attention, and then wanders back out. Seriously, where does she spend all her time?
Dad stares at the statue in front of Town Hall, then looks around at the townsfolk, bustling about. Then he shouts, "Well, fuck all y'all, then!" jumps onto a horse, and rides off into the sunset. Okay, he doesn't, but I bet he's fantasizing about it. Jake strolls up, and Dad says that they should start taking down all the campaign signs and posters. Then Dale hurries up and announces that Mitchell killed Gracie: "He said if I refused to give him a cut of the store, he'd do to me what he did to Gracie." He didn't actually say that. He just implied it. Dad ponders for a moment, and then sighs, "Let's find Gray."
Bad Cop opens the cell door and tells Jonah to get up, as Gray looks on. As Jonah asks what's going on, Dad, Dale, and Jake enter with the same question. Gray ahems that they're moving Jonah to a more secure location. Dad says that Jonah hasn't been tried yet, but Gray announces, "As Mayor, I formed a tribunal. He was found guilty." Jake tells Gray, "Mitch just told Dale that he would do to him what he did to Gracie if he didn't go along with him." I just wanted to point out that recapping is harder than it looks. Especially when you use a lot of pronouns. After confirming that there weren't any witnesses to the conversation, Gray sniffs, "That's hardly proof," and insists that, from now on, they aren't going to coddle guys like Jonah. Jake asks if Gray is planning to kill Jonah tonight, and claim that he tried to escape. He turns to Bad Cop and asks, "You gonna put a bullet in Jonah's head when Gray tells you to?" Bad Cop looks shifty but quickly insists that he's not shooting anyone. Then Jake pulls out a gun and offers it to Gray. Gray doesn't take it, so Jake hauls Jonah to his knees and offers Gray the gun again: "You do it here, in front of me and Dale, in front of everyone." He keeps telling Gray to shoot Jonah, and I have to think that, somewhere in here, Jonah might be thinking, "Dude, can you stop encouraging him to shoot me? Please?" Gray makes a disgusted face like he's giving in, but instead he grabs the gun and aims at Jonah's head. Ha! That's what you get for daring people, Jake. Dad protests, and Jake quickly tries to add an amendment to his dare: "You better be damn sure he's guilty. Because if he's not, you're a murderer. Justice will be swift." Jonah closes his eyes, preparing for the shot, but after a moment, Gray lowers the gun. Jake quickly grabs it back, and Dad leans back, thinking, "Why didn't I bring Eric instead of Jake?"
After the ads, Dad's packing up his office, telling Gray, "Jonah agrees to leave town and not come back." See what I mean about all the stuff that happened offscreen? It just seems odd. Dad changes the subject to Mitchell, and Gray grumps, "Why don't you let me handle that?" Dad looks a little embarrassed, and shuts up. Gray tries to let bygones be bygones, and reassures Dad that he loves Jericho, and just wants to keep it safe. Dad's in no mood for reconciliation, though. He lectures, "It's easy when things are going all right, but when you're scared or mad, it gets to be a lot harder." Gray snarks, "Well, I'll try to watch out for that," as Dad heads for the door with his box of goodies. Not to be outdone, Dad says, "I think we'll all be watching," and exits.
Hawkins is playing football with Samuel again. He says that his own father was a great athlete, but that when Hawkins was a kid, his dad was off serving in the Air Force. He explains, "He was gone a lot, and he didn't have time to teach me much. So Sam, that's why I suck at football." And parenting. Cue the Harry Chapin. Then Darcy joins the family bonding. Hawkins takes her hand and says, "I'm here." Darcy nods nervously. Hawkins gives her the ball, slaps her ass, and walks into the house, saying, "Isn't that what football players do to each other?" This episode has an unusual amount of ass-slapping.
Emily's house. Emily helps her father to put a coat on, and explains, "This will keep you warm." Jonah refrains from saying, "I know what coats do, Emily." Instead, he decides to demonstrate how weird it is to tell people things they already know, so he turns and announces that, when her brother Chris was born, Emily was four. He goes on to say that he was into "some bad stuff" then, so Mrs. Jonah left him, in order to protect the kids: "I let her go. But I didn't want to." Emily says that Mrs. Jonah never got over him, and Jonah says, "Like you and Jake." He says that Chris's death was his fault, not Jake's. They hug, and Jonah announces that Jake still loves Emily. And then he leaves. Aw. But whenever there's a guest star who's way more interesting than the main cast, his spirit will live on.
Sean is skateboarding on Main Street when Bonnie drives up in the truck. Sean walks over and asks, "Don't you have a curfew or something?" Bonnie looks dumfounded by what she's doing, but says, "No." Sean says, "Cool," and walks around to get in the truck.
Bailey's. Jake fusses over the jukebox for a minute, and then returns to the bar. Eric asks Mary, "So this is what you've been saving your generator rations for?," and starts to dance with her. "Generator rations"? Does he mean fuel rations? Oh, whatever. They coo and smooch and it's as dull as it always is. Then Emily walks in and joins Jake at the bar. She says that Jonah's gone, and jokingly asks if Mary has any apple wine coolers. Jake asks Mary for some drinks, and then "Nothing Compares 2 U" starts to play. Jake and Emily smirk at each other, and he admits, "Finally remembered the name of that song." He leads her out to the dance floor, and they start twirling around to a breakup song. Which, okay. After dancing for a moment, Emily asks, "What about Heather?" Jake retorts, "What about Roger?" Emily says that they should be grown-ups and walk away now. Jake agrees, and then they spend half a verse almost-but-not-quite-kissing, and just as Jake is about to take the plunge, Eric calls, "Jake! You gotta go outside! Now!"
As people from Bailey's flood the street, they find a mass of zombies headed for them. Yay! Or maybe they're just another group of boring refugees, sigh. Eric tells someone to take the travelers inside. Eric tells Jake, "Their plane landed in the middle of nowhere -- they've been walking for weeks." Emily looks at the crowd and spots one scruffy-but-familiar face. "Roger," she gasps. In order for this to be interesting, I think I'd have to care about Roger, Emily, or Jake. Oh, wait -- this might mean that Jake will start toying with Heather again. Then I guess my reaction to this cliffhanger is: poor Heather!
Mitchell is lurking by himself, enjoying a smoke by the light of a trash-can bonfire. Suddenly, he's illuminated by a flashlight. He peers toward the camera and asks who's there. Dale lowers the flashlight. And then fires the gun he's holding. Mitchell drops. Wow, Dale's got good aim. They should take him on the turkey-shoot.
Hawkins is in his bunker, checking his laptop. A message pops up: "We need to discuss why you are lying to us." Then a picture of the Earth appears. It zooms in on Kansas. Hawkins looks around like he thinks maybe the camera is in the room. The image goes on zooming, and finally resolves into a picture of Hawkins, Samuel, and Darcy standing in the yard. Then the pictures is gone, and the words "See you soon" appear on the laptop. Yeah, don't count on it, Jericho.
And with that, we're done. Praise be. I should mention that when Jericho returns, you'll have a new recapper. Hey, maybe James Remar will turn up on the show I'm recapping in the spring. That would be awesome! Thanks again to all the posters for being so consistently hilarious, and also thanks to everyone who's emailed, because I'm way behind.