Ducking Wabbits

During the (actual) Super Bowl, Neil Patrick Harris did a promo shot for the show and network, in character, as Barney Stinson. He held up a sign that read:

HEY LADIES
CALL
BARNEY
STINSON
1-887-987-6401

I didn't call it (because I was finishing up the Lost recaps, otherwise I so would have) but people who did heard the following:

That, Lebron, is how you shoot a free throw. Hey, Barney Stinson speaking. A recording? No. This is really me. Anyway, glad you called, because you sound really special... What are your hobbies... Oh my God, I like that too! Wow! I'm really feeling a connection, here. You know, I never do this, but what the heck? Let's meet up at MacLaren's Bar at [Various times in 2016]. I can't wait to meet you. I love you.

Silly rabbit. So anyhow, "Rabbit or Duck" opens with the rest of the gang at Ted's place, watching the Super Bowl. On his TV, we see a shot of Barney holding the same sort of sign, except the colors and phone number are different (1-917-555-0199). At MacLaren's, Barney declares himself the winner of the Super Bowl, because his phone hasn't stopped ringing ("Turkey in the Straw" is his ringtone) since. Ranjit (RANJIT!) is there. Barney explains: "I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because, for the week, I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women, and I don't want to take the subway because -- you know... germs." And that, kids, is when your Uncle Barney became dead to me. All right; I'm exaggerating. But for the rest of the episode, he is flat, lifeless, and a mockery of even his (already mockable) self. Watching, I felt equal parts repulsion and... yes, I'll say it -- PITY. Why, oh, why make him into this one-note joke -- when the lovely and talented NPH is so, well... lovely and talented. The problem is, the ringing phone keeps tempting Barney away. Suffering succotash. I'll get back to this.

Anyhow, after listening to Ranjit talk about his successful arranged marriage, Ted, (who is calling himself "Teddy Westside" -- which Marshall loves) decides he wants Marshall and Lily to arrange a marriage for him. Whereas he sucks at picking, they're the best pickers he knows -- because they picked each other. Aw. To me, it sounds like his conversation with them is Ted taking our mother-related complaints to the writers, which I'll hit in the weecap. The thing is, Lily and Marshall agree to set up a double date with Ted and their pick, for Valentine's Day, and then promptly forget. So at the last minute (in a well-done scene) they scramble for women and end up choosing one of Barney's (very flexible) cast-offs, who's in search of a marriage visa. Yes, because after all this, Ted should spend his life with a Barney cast-off who would marry anyone. My eyes rolled out of my head and so far across the floor, that I didn't bother looking for them until this morning.

Meanwhile, Ted, Marshall and Lily are trying to convince Robin that her co-worker Don is a duck (and yes, there's a pantless Donald Duck reference). The gang has this whole big argument (which is splendid) about whether rabbits or ducks are better (Marshall says rabbits are, but everyone else prefers ducks; Marshall finally concedes). But when Robin goes to Don's Valentine's Day Party, she finds not a party, but rather Don, all by his lonesome, trying to pull off The Naked Man (er... technique -- there are no other men present once Ted leaves). At that moment, Don turns into a rabbit. But later, at work, when he apologizes and she sees he's wearing pants, his bunny ears disappear and he grows a duck bill. You think I'm making this up, don't you?

Back to the phone, Barney's more like a man chasing the dragon than either ducks or rabbits, so Lily hides the phone on him. The thing is, Ted finds it, morphs into "Teddy Westside" full-time, and soon, he can't get the monkey off his back -- until Lily slays it, or the dragon, duck, bunny, or possibly Bambi.

I loved parts of this episode, but hated others. It's the Barney stuff -- and the problem (for me) is that his sleaze is no longer an accent flavor, but the main ingredient. There's too much of him being one-dimensional. It's a waste of the actor, character and the show.

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During the (actual) Super Bowl, Neil Patrick Harris did a promo shot for the show and network, in character, as Barney Stinson. He held up a sign that read:

HEY LADIES
CALL
BARNEY
TINSON
1-887-987-6401

People who called it got a message along these lines:

That, Lebron, is how you shoot a free throw.... Hey, Barney Stinson speaking. A recording? No. This is really me. Anyway, glad you called, because you sound really special... What are your hobbies... Oh my God, I like that too! Wow! I'm really feeling a connection, here. You know, I never do this, but what the heck? Let's meet up at MacLaren's Bar at [Various times on October 12, 2016]. I can't wait to meet you. I love you.

So, is October 12, 2016 a date that will having meaning in the future? I don't know. And after this episode, I don't care. Let's get right to it and through it. You ready? Okay.

"Rabbit or Duck" opens with the rest of the gang at Ted's place, watching the Super Bowl. On the TV, we see a shot of Barney holding the same sort of sign NPH used during Super Bowl spot, except the colors and phone number are different (1-917-555-0199). Ted says, "Well, that explains where Barney is." Robin calls dibs on his wings. That's the way to take it in stride, girl.

Theme Song!

Barney joins the gang at MacLaren's and declares himself the winner of the Super Bowl, because his phone hasn't stopped ringing since he and his sign were shown on TV. He proclaims his phone is now magic, as he has "infinity" chicks calling him. Ranjit (RANJIT!) is there. Barney explains: "I've enlisted Ranjit's services as my personal driver because, for the week, I'll be sleeping with hundreds of women, and I don't want to take the subway because -- you know...germs." And that, kids, is when your Uncle Barney became dead to me. All right; I'm exaggerating. But for the rest of the episode, he is flat, lifeless, charisma-free, and unappealing. I'll get back to that, though. Ted can't believe Barney's going to hook up with these women. When did Ted develop amnesia? Anyhow, Barney tells the gang to keep an eye out for a woman in a red sweater. "Based on her texts she's dirty, dyslexic, and wants to 96 me. Semi-colon, end parenthesis." He's emoticonning at us. Out loud! Ted imagines Barney's not going to be getting quality girls with this stunt, so of course a lovely young woman (Asian, with some boob) walks up to Barney. She's probably not named Cook Pu. On his way out, Barney holds up his ringing phone ("Turkey in the Straw" is his ringtone) and gloats. "Magic phone, guys. Magic phone," as he leaves with his... should I still call these women dates? No? I didn't think so, either. Okay. He leaves with his worn-out joke, and the flat, tattered remains of what was once a multi-dimensional character who occasionally exhibited actual development.

Robin walks over and greets the gang. I love how she's not surprised to see Ranjit. When Ted notices that her big glass of beer looks awfully flat, she clarifies that it's Scotch. This week, she's drinking too much because Don is getting on her nerves at work. We cut to Come On, Get Up, New York. Robin has just finished her segment and tosses to Don. Instead of waiting professionally for his cue, he is trouser-free (again), and sitting on the news desk, complaining that Ulee's Gold is in every crossword puzzle (Ted later explains that's for the vowels). The only reason I laugh at this is because Carter Bays uses his Twitter account to document his NYT crossword puzzle times. Anyhow, Don sits down and does his Valentine's Day segment about a patient receiving a chocolate human heart. Uh huh. Don asks Robin if she has any Valentine's Day plans. Back in real time at the bar, Robin tells her friends that since they were on the air and she was on the spot, she accepted his request for a date. They tease her about offending her viewer and whatnot. Finally, Marshall says, "Robin, you are going to marry this guy so freaking hard -- right in the butt." Uh huh. When Ted realizes Robin's date is for Valentine's Day, he reminds her they had plans. Robin asks how getting drunk and cleaning the apartment is a plan. Ted says, "I did not say it was a good plan."

Just then, Barney bursts in. I'd be glad to see him after that lameness, except I'm sick of him and not speaking to him right now. He's getting more and more texts from women, and he's utterly manic, bringing to mind the tokers in the original Reefer Madness. Barney doesn't know how to proceed, so Ted suggests he nail the girl he's with and then catch up on his texts. Barney says he can't hook up with one girl when there might be a hotter one out there, "with whom up can be hooked." First of all, since when? And second of all, I've had it. I'm putting him in a big time out for the rest of this weecap, because that's how displeased I am with his utter devolution.

Once You Know Who (YKW) is gone, Ted says maybe there are just too many dating options these days -- and that's why it's so hard to meet someone. Ranjit brags that he never had that problem, because his marriage was arranged, and he loves his wife more and more every day. Marshall nods. "It is true. It's very rare that two people and fall madly in love, like..." he looks at his wife, then quickly adds, "Robin and Don." Robin says she and Don are not even going out, they're just hanging at his place. When the gang hoots, she explains that he asked her to come over for a party. The gang tries to explain the difference between a date and a party invite -- but I'm on Robin's side, because I remember when Ted held umpteen parties in a row, just to spend some more time with Robin. Anyhow, Robin refuses to think Don didn't ask her on a date. Marshall teases that's because she wants Don to ask her on a date. Robin erupts. "No, I hate Don. I--I--I can't stop thinking about how much I hate him. It's like all the time. I just want to attack him and rip his stupid clothes off, and start spanking him with his little paddle until his bum's all red." A beat. "Shut UP!" She stomps up to the bar. We'll just leave that mess as is.

Ted says that (Robin's scene) is what free will gets you and he's done with it. "I want what Ranjit has. I've spent my entire adult life looking for the perfect woman, and I'm spending Valentine's Day scrubbing the toilet." Oh, Ted if I weren't already taken, I think that would have just won me over. I'd even take bathroom duty, if he'd just take care of the laundry and dusting. "I need someone else to find me that woman. Marshall, Lily -- arranged-marriage me." Marshall and Lily look like they've just won the lottery. YKW walks by in the background clicking through text messages and freaking out. Commercial.

Marshall and Lily can't believe their luck. Marshall asks Ted if he's sure. He is. There are two sides to dating -- picking and getting picked. He sucks at the former, but is good at the latter. "Ladies love Teddy Westside." Marshall points at him. "You're waiting for me to comment on your 'self-assigned nickname'." He pauses for a moment. "Well here's my comment: I LOVE IT! [...] Teddy Westside? Continue!" Teddy Westside continues, saying Marshall and Lily are the best pickers he knows -- they picked each other. Aw. He tells them to get out there and find him a girl. They can double-date on Valentine's Day, and Ted will marry her. "If she's cool with it -- and she will be, 'cause I'll wear my nice blazer." Marshall nods. "I love that blazer... almost as much as Robin loves Don." Robin protests, so Marshall says that the part of the brain where hate lives is right to the part, "that makes you want to jump people's bones. The two responses are so similar, it's hard to tell them apart." Did anyone else flash to Turk and Carla in Scrubs: Baby, are you angry when we have sex. Yeah. That was a funny episode. Ahem. Ted breaks in. "You know what it's like? I have to get a book. Give me 30 seconds."

22 Minutes Later: Ted rushes back in with 1001 Optical Illusions. A quick search netted me no results on whether it's a real book, so I'm thinking it's not. The illusion he shows the gang is real, though (well, it's an illusion that exists outside the show). It's the picture on this web page: http://www.mindfake.com/illusion_25.html. This morning, when I first woke up, I tried to figure out how to draw on my new Mac, and couldn't, so I searched for Mac-friendly freeware and downloaded Paintbrush for Mac, finger-drew this [link] and this [link], and opened a blog, on which to publish them. I... um... could have just used Google. time, I'll have coffee before I set out to offend the arts. On the plus side, I did all that in half the time that it took Ted to find his book.

Anyhow, Ted shows the gang the picture and says you can look at it for hours and be sure it's a rabbit, and then one day, you look and it's a duck. Marshall agrees -- saying relationships are like that. "When you first met Don, you hated him. You thought, 'this guy is a duck', but one these days you're going to realize 'this is something I actually love'. He's a rabbit." Everyone looks confused, so Ted tries to straighten Marshall out. "I think you've got it backwards, buddy. The duck is the thing you love. The rabbit is the thing you hate." And talk about your reefer madness, Ranjit, Lily and Robin must be high, because they agree with Ted! In what universe is a duck more lovable than a rabbit? That's just insane troll logic. Marshall (rightly) points out that rabbits are adorable. "Have you ever been in a fight with a duck? Ducks are jerks!" Okay, I've never actually been in a fight with a duck, but I was once chased by geese. Shut up. I was a toddler. And in Canada. You know how those people (and their fowl) are always trying to kill us.

Saget!Ted narrates that this turned into one of the most intense arguments the group has ever had, which is kind of awesome, because I think most close groups get into ridiculous, trivial, and way-overheated arguments like this at least once. We watch the characters fast-forward in time. The fast-forwarding stops to let Ted make a point. "Duck is delicious. Rabbit is all GAMEY!" Marshall screams: "We're not talking about flavor, Ted!" Besides, duck is so fatty. Ted screams back that flavor counts. Fast-forward, then play for Marshall. "Who carries around a duck's foot for good luck? Anyone?!" Fast-forward, then play for Robin. "You wrap yourself in a comforter stuffed with rabbit hair. I'll wrap myself in one stuffed with duck feathers. WHO'S COZIER?" Marshall doesn't mention rabbit fur, because PETA has spies everywhere. Fast-forward, then play on Ted. "Time to get another book." Fast-forward, then play on Ranjit. *Very agitated speech in whatever language it is Ranjit speaks.* (Ranjit has claimed to be from Bangladesh, but people believe him to be speaking Farsi, and the actor who plays him is from Iran, so Farsi makes sense.) Ranjit leaves. Fast-forward, then play on Ted. Then why don't we take a rabbit, a duck, stick 'em in a cardboard box, and LET THEM FIGHT IT OUT?! Marshall starts to rise from his seat. "BECAUSE IT'S ILLEGAL, TED!" Ted screams back: "ONLY IF WE BET ON IT, MARSHALL!" Fast-forward, then play on Marshall. He slams his hands down on the table and yells, "FINE! I concede. You win." That's not good enough for Robin and Ted, who insist that he "say it." Marshall clutches his beer and closes his eyes. "Ducks are good. Rabbits are bad." Ted, Robin and Lily cheer and pump their fists, because they are completely DELUSIONAL. Robin thanks Marshall and adds that Don is and always will be a rabbit. Ted begs to differ. "Think about it. Don? Donald? Donald... Duck? And what, I wonder, does Donald Duck never wear?" Lily pipes up. "Pants!" Ted proclaims that Don is a duck. Lily and Marshall make a whispery "haaaaaa" sound. Ted asks Marshall: "Permission to say 'lawyered'?" Marshall: "I'll allow it." Ted: "Lawyered."

Meanwhile, YKW's has a beautiful woman on his bed. They're drinking wine. He's telling her that there's no place he'd rather be and no one he'd rather be with, when he's interrupted by his phone. Because he's never heard the "a bird in the hand..." adage, Barney tosses the present girl her jacket and tells her she's got to go. He then hops into Ranjit's waiting car. Ranjit is working on his knitting, every time we see him waiting for Barney. Barney asks to be taken to MacLaren's Pub. We will call the preceding rigamarole YKW's refrain, so I don't have to keep typing it out. So , we get YKW's refrain (as played on a Lady Bullfighter). And then YKW's refrain (as played on a Gold Medal Japanese Figure Skater). is YKW's refrain as played on a hot (and double jointed) chick. Saget!Ted saves us for the nonce, by interrupting to say: "[YKW] had been sure that phone was something he loved, but now he realized it wasn't that at all. It was something else entirely." YKWs phone has been ringing, but he's been trying to ignore it. Finally, YKW pulls out the phone only to see it's a little white bunny! (Another reason to hate YKW's scenes in this episode: that poor bunny is frightened to death.) YKW looks from his latest conquest-to-be back to the bunny, but the bunny is now a phone again. He runs out into the alleyway behind the bar and throws it in the dumpster. But when he gets Double-Joints home and starts his "no place, no one" line on her, he imagines-up the "Turkey in the Straw" ringtone. He twitches and snorts, runs out of the room, and then out to Ranjit's car. Ranjit's now wearing a full-length scarf (his own handiwork) and still knitting away. Once at MacLaren's, YKW runs past the bar, out into the alley, and dives into the dumpster. Cross your fingers that he finds at least a shred of his old likability in there.

Valentine's Day: At MacLaren's Marshall and Lily remember they forgot to find Ted a date/wife. Okay, I can't buy this for even a second. With Lily's well-established busy-body tendencies, her past habit of interfering in Ted's love life in particular, and her and Marshall's burning desire for best couple-friends, this just doesn't work for me. I said I liked it when I wrote the recaplet, but I cannot figure out why or remember what I liked, so I plead insanity. Anyhow, at the last minute they scramble for women. Marshall even gets maced in the process, but it's all a no-go.

Ted's Apartment: Ted sings: "Here comes the groom, in his favorite blazer, gonna meet my wife and I'm..." He counts on his fingers as he searches for the right rhyme: "laser, tazer, gazer..." From her bedroom, Robin calls out to Ted, inviting him to swing by Don's party with her, before he meets up with Lily, Marshall, and the blind-date. Then she walks out in a wowza dress -- various shades of coral with black seaming. She looks great (and this is the first time Wardrobe has done her post-baby figure any justice). Ted (who is by far the most likable character this week) says, "That's what you're wearing?" Robin says it is. Ted looks her up and down. "He's a duck. That dude be straight duckin'." While Robin looks down at herself, Ted finishes his song. "And I think that I'll... amaze her." He pumps his fist. "Nailed it!"

Don's Building: As Ted and Robin look for the apartment, he mentions that he doesn't want to crowd Robin on her date, so he has an escape plan prepared, in case things heat up with her and Don. "I'll just say, 'Well, I've got a dinner rez' and then wait... this is the best part; I've been working on this for a while: 'I'll duck out'." Robin fakes laughter and says that's not going to happen. "But... yeah, do that." Instead of knocking, she then opens the door to Don's apartment, because it's a party, I guess. And Don's sitting all alone on the couch -- buck nekkid. When he sees Robin, Don jumps up and covers his privates -- with a heart-shaped box of chocolate. When he sees Ted, he screams, crouches and searches for cover. Ted gestures behind himself with his thumb. "Well, I've got a dinner rez," and he's gone. Robin stands there speechless and we cut to commercial.

Don quickly puts on his robe as Robin asks what the hell he was doing. Don says he doesn't know. "It's something called The Naked Man. I read about it on some guy's blog," (scroll down to the 11/24/2008 entry). Don feels stupid for thinking a scam like that could work on someone like Robin. Since it once so very much worked on someone exactly like Robin, Robin sputters about her standards and then wisely changes the subject. "I thought this was a party." Don only said that to get Robin to come over. "I didn't think you'd bring a date." Robin clarifies that Ted's not her date -- just a friend. Don worries that Robin now thinks he's probably some kind of playboy. And in an amusing bit of visual punning, Robin imagines bunny ears appearing on Don's head. They droop down sadly, as she answers, "You could say that." We sideways whoosh to...

Ted's Apartment. Ted tries to console Robin over finding out Don's a rabbit, after all. Robin snaps on rubber gloves as she says, "Ted, this may hurt a little." Hold the phone. What's she going to do to the poor little duckling? Oh, never mind. She clears that right up. She's going to recycle his old architecture magazines and otherwise clean the apartment. "You go on your date. Happy Valentine's Day." A funny look comes over Ted's face. Robin smiles and looks down. Ted's return smile looks full of regret. We cut to...

Manhattan Street: Ted meets up with Marshall and tells him maybe they should call off the whole thing. Marshall says he can't. They found a girl. "We were searching all week," liar "and a couple of hours ago..."

We flash back to Lily and Marshall sitting in MacLaren's reviewing a list of Ted's exes: Trudy -- married; Blah Blah -- committed (not to someone; in Bellevue); Natalie -- hates Ted." Just then YKW comes in and slams the phone down in front of Lily and Marshall, begging them to get rid of it. He says it's cursed -- maybe that explains the nearly offensive levels of over-acting, here. YKW screams: "It ruining my life!" I scream back, "You're ruining other people's story lines now, too. Go back in the dumpster and finish your time out." Ahhhh, blessed Ranjit -- who is now wearing his hand-knit hat, scarf, and hand-warmers, grabs YKW by the shoulders. "[YKW] let it go... to voice mail." He scoops YKW up like a little baby and carries him out of the bar and off my screen. I hope he gets a big tip. Let's start an untainted paragraph, shall we?

Marshall, who must be speaking for the writers here, says, "We've got to find Ted a wife. We're being too choosy. It almost doesn't matter who it is, at this point." You've got that right, brother. Lily nods in agreement, and then they both look down at YKW's ringing phone and raise their eyebrows. Cut back to...

Manhattan Street: Ted: "It's a phone girl?" Marshall knows how that sounds but says he and Lily met this girl, who is a world class violinist; she's a gourmet cook, and... she can quote every line from Caddy Shack." Ted looks like a kid in a candy store. Gone are his second thoughts. I don't care -- she's still a Barney cast-off, and this is Marshall and Lily doing the picking. No way.

Restaurant; Interior: The gentlemen join the ladies. Ted's date is named Natalia, which confusing, since they just mentioned Natalie a few minutes ago. Whatever -- we know her as Double-Joints! "Hello, Ted. What brings you to this nape of the woods... neck of the wape...what are you here?" Ted is... intrigued. Really? [He's easy, a Caddyshack introduction is all it took. -- Angel] Saget!Ted narrates that they all had dinner, which is a lie, because they're sitting there with their menus open, talking. Marshall insists Natalia tell Ted "the problem." Lily nods eagerly in agreement. Natalia explains that she has to leave the U.S. soon, because her visa is set to expire. Lily points to her (own) ring finger and quickly whispers: "She needs to get married." Marshall joins in: "Federal law expressly dictates that a foreign national can't maintain residency for more than six months without a work visa." Heh. Lily nudges him to shut up. But then, the waiter comes to take their orders. He looks to Ted. "And you, sir -- the rabbit, or the duck?" Ted says, "What?" The waiter explains that it's a prix fixe menu for Valentine's day, and they're already out of the other main course options. "So... rabbit or duck?" Ted looks from his friends to his date to his lap. "Rabbit." He then says, "Sorry guys," jumps up, and adds, "I gotta go." Marshall wonders why Ted would order rabbit if he was just going to run out. I wonder how Saget!Ted can refer to that as them "all" having dinner together. But we've no time for that now. YKW runs into the restaurant, over-dramatizing his need to get back the phone. He pauses long enough to see the pretty woman at the table with his friends. "Well, hello." Then he realizes it's Double-Joints and waves his hand at her, dismissively. "Oh. I met you already." HATE. After he emotes some more, Lily tells him the phone is hidden. Saget!Ted explains that to answer that question, we must flash back to...

Ted's Apartment: We revisit the scene where Robin says she's going to stay home and clean and Ted should go on his date. All of a sudden, "Turkey in the Straw" starts playing. Ted traces it back to his piano, lifts up the cover and there's YKW's phone, ducked inside. He stares at it as though mesmerized, while Robin tries to remind him about his date. Finally, he speaks. "Eh, what's the harm?" Nooooooooooo. He answers the phone and Saget!Ted narrates: "And just like that, I was hooked." We then flash to the scene where Ted meets Marshall in front of the restaurant. The reason he's ready to cancel isn't residual guilt (or warm feelings) about leaving Robin home cleaning. It's the phone. He's talking on it before Marshall arrives. "See you there, and I'll be the guy in the awesome blazer." He chuckles. "I think you'll know the blazer when you see it." He cuts off the call when Marshall shows up and tells him about phone girl. And inside the restaurant, when the waiter poses the "rabbit or duck" question and Ted looks from Marshall and Lily, to Natalia, to his lap -- he is reading text messages on the phone! He runs out of the restaurant and to...

MacLaren's: Ted is in full Teddy Westside mode, now. He's even wearing shades. In the bar. At night. He's talking to a pretty young thing, but when the phone rings he says, "Sorry, babe. Gotta take this." Heh. "Barney's phone. Teddy Westside speaking." Just then, YKW busts in and takes back the phone and steals Ted's "Westside" nickname, to boot. Marshall, Lily, Ranjit, and Natalia are right behind him. Ted tries to snatch back the phone. "I love it so much. It just keeps ringing and ringing and ringing." YKW's continue his call. The two start tussling. The phone goes flying. Marshall catches it, and tosses it to Lily, who drowns it in a pitcher of beer. Turkey in the hops. HOORAY!

Ted's Apartment: Ted and Robin sit on the couch drinking beer, watching TV and lamenting the fact that being single can drive you crazy. Robin wonders what all the running around and freaking out is for. Ted says, "It's all so you can find someone you can sit on the couch and put-off cleaning the bathroom with." Oh? Oh really? Robin turns her head toward him, leans it back against the couch and chuckles. Oh? Oh really? Then she adds, "Well, the joke's on the rest of the world, because we can do that on our own." Ted says, "Exactly." Robin echoes him. Oh? Oh really? They clink their beer glasses together and we cut to commercial.

By Cindy McLennan

Marshall, who must be speaking for the writers here, says, "We've got to find Ted a wife. We're being too choosy. It almost doesn't matter who it is, at this point." You've got that right, brother. Lily nods in agreement, and then they both look down at YKW's ringing phone and raise their eyebrows. Cut back to...

Manhattan Street: Ted: "It's a phone girl?" Marshall knows how that sounds but says he and Lily met this girl, who is a world class violinist; she's a gourmet cook, and... she can quote every line from Caddy Shack." Ted looks like a kid in a candy store. Gone are his second thoughts. I don't care -- she's still a Barney cast-off, and this is Marshall and Lily doing the picking. No way.

Restaurant; Interior: The gentlemen join the ladies. Ted's date is named Natalia, which confusing, since they just mentioned Natalie a few minutes ago. Whatever -- we know her as Double-Joints! "Hello, Ted. What brings you to this nape of the woods... neck of the wape...what are you here?" Ted is... intrigued. Really? [He's easy, a Caddyshack introduction is all it took. -- Angel] Saget!Ted narrates that they all had dinner, which is a lie, because they're sitting there with their menus open, talking. Marshall insists Natalia tell Ted "the problem." Lily nods eagerly in agreement. Natalia explains that she has to leave the U.S. soon, because her visa is set to expire. Lily points to her (own) ring finger and quickly whispers: "She needs to get married." Marshall joins in: "Federal law expressly dictates that a foreign national can't maintain residency for more than six months without a work visa." Heh. Lily nudges him to shut up. But then, the waiter comes to take their orders. He looks to Ted. "And you, sir -- the rabbit, or the duck?" Ted says, "What?" The waiter explains that it's a prix fixe menu for Valentine's day, and they're already out of the other main course options. "So... rabbit or duck?" Ted looks from his friends to his date to his lap. "Rabbit." He then says, "Sorry guys," jumps up, and adds, "I gotta go." Marshall wonders why Ted would order rabbit if he was just going to run out. I wonder how Saget!Ted can refer to that as them "all" having dinner together. But we've no time for that now. YKW runs into the restaurant, over-dramatizing his need to get back the phone. He pauses long enough to see the pretty woman at the table with his friends. "Well, hello." Then he realizes it's Double-Joints and waves his hand at her, dismissively. "Oh. I met you already." HATE. After he emotes some more, Lily tells him the phone is hidden. Saget!Ted explains that to answer that question, we must flash back to...

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Provenance
Original URL
http://www.brilliantbutcancelled.com/show/how-i-met-your-mother/rabbit-or-duck-a/
Captured
2017-08-16
Page Type
recap (100%)
Wayback Machine
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