Y'all just saw it -- Carrie got kicked off. Everybody sucks at cooking, except Will. At the very last moment of the elimination nightmare, Chef told Elise to take her coat off. What does it mean? He tells her that she thinks she's ready for the big time, but she's not. None of them are. All of them have to take their coats off. Hell's Kitchen is closed. As punishment, they're flying to NYC to visit BLT Steak. Wow, that shows them.
They begin by having a food tour of NYC. They start at Lombardi's Pizza, which is seriously the sickest. It's amazing. Then, they have Peking Duck in Chinatown. I need to do that. Then, they go to Zucco: Le French Diner. Never heard of it. Then, they have Greek. Then, they go to La Esquina for Mexican. It's amazing!! Jesus, this is all by noon. Then, Jamaican and Indian. They're miserable. Then, they get to BLT Steak.
They get a tour of the restaurant. Natalie can picture herself there. The chef tells Paul that the biggest challenge there is the pace. He says they do 200-250 covers a night and I would seriously like proof of that. Sorry. Also, BLT Steak has an A from the Board of Health. Congrats. Elizabeth says that she's ready to win this competition.
The chefs return to Hell's Kitchen. Ramsay says that they are going to be trying their hand at ethnic cuisine. There's a giant slot machine that will give them their ingredients. A coin will be dispensed that tells them the type of cuisine. Natalie goes first and gets pork, potatoes, green beans and kumquats. The cuisine is Jamaican. Ramsay seems mortified for her. Jennifer says she would like any protein but salmon and she would love to have Greek as her cuisine. She gets salmon. And Greek! Opa!
Will gets scallops and Italian. Elizabeth gets New York Strip, corn and Mexican. Tommy wanted Mexican. He gets chicken and carrots and he doesn't want Indian. He gets Indian. Elise gets Ahi Tuna, beans, kumquats and carrots. Elise has never seen a kumquat. They used to grow in my friend's yard. Aren't they common? Her cuisine is Chinese. I actually have faith that she might kill that. Paul gets filet, eggplant, polenta, grapefruit and kale. His cuisine is French and he and Ramsay think he hit the jackpot. They have 45 minutes to create something.
They are supposed to be creative. Elise seems really confused. Natalie starts sneezing from the Jamaican spices. Ramsay says that the winner will also win for their team. It's a King of the Hill situation with a fancy chair. Tommy is first. It doesn't look Indian. Ramsay likes it, though. Elizabeth is . Ramsay likes hers too, more than Tommy's. She gets the throne for a moment. He thinks that Natalie over-seasoned hers, so Elizabeth is still winning. Paul overtakes her, though. Elise is . He likes it. She takes the fancy chair. Will is and takes the chair. Jennifer is last with her Greek food. He likes it. Jennifer wins! She hugs Will because she's a good sport.
The Red Team is going to the beach. What they will do there is a surprise. The Blue Team has to prep the kitchen. The girls go to the beach and find James, the maître d'. He wants them to get into a plastic ball and roll around as cooks do? They all do it and it's embarrassing, just like everything they do.
The Blue Team is prepping quietly. They all find Tommy to be really stupid and it seems that he may be. The Red Team returns and flaunts their good time. When it's time for service, Elise finds that Tommy prepped the Beef Wellingtons in a way that she thinks is wrong.
The diners arrive. Service begins and it looks like Natalie is going to get slammed for her scallops. And she does -- they're raw. She can't get those damn things right. Elizabeth, meanwhile, looks like she's dying. She looks confused. But Elise helps and everything seems to be fine. The teams seem to be even, until Elizabeth starts screwing up all of the fish during service. The poor thing falls apart. Of course, Elise thinks that she should simply pick herself up and dust herself off, as any normal Elise would do. Then, Ramsay starts having problems with the way that the Beef Wellington is coming out of the kitchen. It looks chewed and generally disgusting. He points out that when pastries are too deeply scored, they fall apart. Elise says that Tommy scored their Wellingtons and he says that she has to tell Tommy that herself.
So she does, with Ramsay present. Now awhile back, we all saw Elise complain about how Tommy didn't score the Wellingtons. And he's like, "Um, I didn't score the Wellingtons." We even see footage of him telling her that he prepped them, but didn't score them. Damn, girl just got caught. The Blue Team is on fire about it. Ramsay tells Elise that she doesn't have Carrie, Krupa or Jamie to blame now.
There are some complaints from Blue Team diners. Natalie can't stop fucking up the fish! She says that she doesn't know what's happening. Will tells her to keep trying until the last ticket is out. On the Red Team, poor Elizabeth can't cook the bass. I really feel for her. This is like Nixon during his debate with JFK and shit, and I wasn't even alive then. Ramsay of course makes it even worse and acts like they've shot their moms and want the English-speaking world to die. He demands that they leave the kitchen. Elise makes it worse by kicking over a trash can on her way out. He demands that she pick it up, which is fun to see. So, Jennifer's going to serve all of these people by herself?
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Jennifer works with Chef Ramsay in the kitchen and found it to be a really rewarding experience. She might win this, right? I'm calling a Will/Jennifer showdown. After service, Ramsay declares that neither team won. Each team has to pick a nominee for elimination. Natalie is devastated that she didn't have a good service and tells her teammates that she knows she's the obvious choice. She's crying because she cares so much and I seriously feel really bad for her. This pressure can't be the norm, right? Being on this show and cooking in an actual kitchen is like the difference between being able to walk a tightrope and being able to do really cool tricks on water skis. The tightrope is technically more difficult, but the water ski thing has so many more elements. Whatever. She starts crying in front of the Blue Team and they all rally around her. Wow. This is rough. I do believe that she's just having a weird sort of jinx on her service and is not actually inept or even inexperienced. Paul says that he hopes that Elise goes home. They all bring up how lame it was that Elise blamed Tommy for her Wellington issues.
Elise tries to bully Jennifer into nominating Elizabeth, who is a better sport and says that she doesn't play the blame game. Back at the kitchen, the Blue Team nominates Natalie. The Red Team -- or rather Jennifer -- nominates Elise, because she can't admit mistakes. Yay! Will tells Natalie to keep her head up before she stands forward. She says that she is talented and works hard. She knows she has a lot to learn, but she can do it. Ramsay says that he can't inspire her anymore. There's nowhere left for her to hide. He shames Elise for blaming Tommy for her mistakes and she tries to shout him down and says that she's not ready to go. But, this show is total bullshit and Natalie is going home. A woman lies to his face about someone else's work and he sends the other girl home. Seriously? Bullshit. Bless her heart too. She's so upset. He tells her that she has huge heart and all that stupid stuff that he always says and tells her not to quit. Whatever. This is all about TV. Elise is NOT better than her. We see a montage of all of the great things that she did on the show. For instance, Tommy and Paul would probably have been long gone had she not been such a positive force on her team. My interpretation. She keeps crying and says that she feels deep down she knows she could have won this. This is the worst elimination so far. Ramsay, showing no respect for someone who has sweated and slaved for his stupid show, says that Natalie might yet get to see BLT Steak...as a customer. CLASSY.
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Jeff Long is a writer/performer in Brooklyn. He can be reached at jeff.long75@gmail.com
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