Staph Meeting

S09E21

So, a second of Bailey's patients died of the mystery infection and her third patient, Seth, is only hanging on by a thread. Richard is caring for Seth as the CDC comes in to conduct an investigation. While that is going on, Bailey is ordered to stay away from all patients and is locked out of their records. This makes her crazy since she wants to try and help Seth. At the same time, Seth's parents think the hospital is a cesspool and want him moved, but Richard convinces them that it's too dangerous. However, in order to convince them he insists that the infection has been pinpointed to one doctor and it's been contained and all is hunky-dory. Bailey of course overhears this and slinks away without anyone knowing she was there, but naturally the second she leaves Richard tells Leah that he thinks that's all bullshit and it's not Bailey's fault but that he needed to say something so that they didn't move Seth and surely kill him in the process. Mere tries to sneak Bailey a peek at Seth's chart but Jackson catches her and shuts them down. He's on edge because the other board members are all mad at him for calling the CDC already and are treating him totally like the Bad Cop. April's mad at him too, accusing him of stealing her virginity like a thief in the night and then telling her to lie to Matthew (which is of course ridiculous). By the end of the day, fed up, he reminds her that she was a very willing participant and that while he's sorry she's hurt, he's not sorry that they hooked up. Of course, Matthew picks this moment to show up at the hospital to make things right with April and get back together.

One of the reasons Jackson is under fire from the survivors is that he also wants to put out a press release about what is going on. He's sure that if they don't, it's going to somehow leak to the press and the hospital will look like it was trying to hide something. But so far he's overruled by the other board members who insist that there is no story yet to release and that they should keep quiet until they know what's going on. A group of patients comes in who are all members of a family that played tug-of-war at their family reunion. A number of the unfortunate folks either lost fingers in the fight or mangled their hands and of course the youngest family member turns out to be an intrepid school reporter. She overhears all the whispers about Bailey and the infection situation and manages to start putting together a story to the point where Arizona and Callie start to worry that she could get them in deep trouble.

Alex and Jason are thrown together on a case along with Cristina where they have to deliver a baby who then will need immediate heart surgery to survive. Before they do the surgery, Princess drops the bomb that she's planning on moving in with Jason, so Alex becomes even more tortured. He's still in total denial about his feelings and maintains that Jason is just an idiot, but finally he realizes that there might be some truth to the idea that he could luuuurve her. In a total dude bonding moment with Jason, he explains that he was also a foster kid and that's why he and Princess understand each other so well -- Alex is the only one that doesn't realize that Jason clearly has no idea about Princess' past. She finds Alex later and completely tears into him for spilling the beans since that's something she doesn’t tell anyone (except him). Yeah Alex, how dare you assume that before moving in, two people might discuss the very general broad details of their personal histories? After yelling at him, Princess orders him to never speak to her again or something.

Owen is still totally obsessed with Ethan, even though his grandmother has finally arrived to take care of him. She's not handling her son being in a coma very well at all, so thank goodness Ethan's mom is doing better, right? She's up, and talking, and even goes to see her husband and speak to him (which causes Grandma to have a breakdown since she's sure he's dying). Cristina gently tries to convince Owen to get some rest/engage in a little bit of sexy funtime/step back from these patients in whom he's too invested but he's too far gone and to her credit, she doesn't push him. In the middle of enjoying an ice cream with Ethan, his mom suddenly falls into a seizure and winds up dying. Ethan's grandma can barely handle herself so after Owen breaks the news to him, Ethan goes to hold her hand and be the tragic young adult in the situation. Cristina tells Owen that she's sure Paul will still wake up one of these days, but it's fairly obvious where this all is going.

Oh, and Mere wants Cristina to be there when she gives birth because she thinks Cristina will be better than Derek at handling the nurses and making sure Mere gets what she wants (a natural birth). Cristina, however, is totally squicked out by the idea. Mere keeps at her, and Owen tells her that it will be amazing to witness the miracle of life; though she seems doubtful, Cristina finally agrees to it. That night at the house, Alex comes to Cristina's door and admits that she was right and he's in love with Princess. She has him come in and sit down with her, and after he gets over how weird it is, he does. She then admits she thinks she's losing Owen.

Bailey is interrogated by the CDC a few times regarding her patients -- she's made to recount the surgeries in precise detail a number of times to make sure her memory is accurate. In the meantime, it's been determined that they both died from a particular strain of staph infection. She finally gets tired of reciting her actions and demands to be told the results of her test, which ultimately turn out to be that she is carrying that same staph strain. When the board meets with the CDC to hear the results of the investigation, she turns up, gutted, and asks to stay to hear the results of the investigation. After a vote, they let her. It turns out that the cheap shitty gloves that Pegasus made them use are actually the culprit, and that if they had been using better gloves the patients would not have gotten sick. This isn't much of a consolation to Bailey, who still feels responsible and runs out of the room. Later, she and Richard talk outside and she absolutely unloads on him since she still thinks he threw her under the bus. She's so upset that she starts dealing out low blows, telling him she covered for him when he was operating on people while drunk and expected the same kind of loyalty in return, but didn't get it. So, with three episodes left, now plenty of seeds of personal turmoil have been planted and are lovingly being watered.

To help make her feel better for possibly killing some of her patients, Bailey gets this week's voiceover. She's dressed in a suit, washing her hands, and tells us that infections are like sleeping monsters since we can't see or feel them. Over this deep thought, she regards her reflection in the mirror.

A team of at least twelve people in suits files into the hospital and we know they are important because they are moving in very dramatic slow motion. The man who seems to be their leader shakes Jackson's hand and then we see a montage of them gathering evidence -- this is the team from the CDC, here to try and figure out what sleeping monsters are lurking about, killing folks. They take a surgical glove for testing, and then a waxy piece of dead Joyce's skin. Bailey then has her nose and the palm of her hand swabbed as she tells us that when the monsters wake up, they are out of control.

Bailey tries to go check on Seth, the only infected patient of the three who is still living. Richard tells her she shouldn't be there but she's in a panic to know how he's doing especially since she's been locked out of his record on the computer. She feels humiliated after the nasal swab but Richard tells her that they are doing that to everyone. What they are not doing to everyone is interviewing them regarding their work. Desperately, she tells Richard that she figured out that the grafts she used must be what has caused the infection, and begs him to pass this along. Richard just tries to calm her and tells her to do her interview and he'll take care of Seth.

At a meeting, the majority of the board members voice their displeasure at how this whole situation is being handled -- most of them think that the hospital (which, for the sake of this conversation really means Jackson) is throwing Bailey under the bus but Jackson denies this and thinks that after two patient deaths it was time to bring in the CDC. His limpid green eyes are not enough to soothe the other board members, who are all shooting angry glares in his direction. He's not able to just absolve Bailey immediately like the others are and tells them to just let the CDC do the investigation and to not discuss anything with Bailey since they've temporarily frozen her files. As if this wasn't enough, he adds that he thinks the hospital should also put out a statement. The others all howl in protest, pointing out that they don't know what is going on yet so what would they say? He just wants to cover the hospital's butt so that they don't look like they were hiding something if the shit hits the fan later. Unfortunately, I have to agree that he has a point, but it does seem like doing anything now would mean making Bailey the scapegoat no matter if it turns out to really be her or not. But Callie calls for a vote on the release, and they all vote against the boy king so will keep mum for now.

By Lauren S

Alex and Princess are still palling around and I still can't bring myself to give a crap about her. I do find it awesome that Alex rudely bumps into one of the CDC reps because he's really upset that they are trying to pin it all on Bailey. Princess doesn't seem to really care about that but does care about Alex actually making an effort to get along with Jason since they have to do a surgery together later. Alex reluctantly agrees to not call him names... to his face. Princess' counter to this is to gracelessly announce that she's moving in with Jason and then ask what Alex thinks. He of course thinks this is the definition of stupidity since she barely knows the guy (and Alex also thinks he is an idiot) and she's dumb enough to be kind of surprised by this reaction. It's not bad advice -- I would think he'd probably say the same thing even if he wasn't "secretly" in love with her. She yells at him and he finally grudgingly agrees to be nice at least during the procedure later that day.

Ethan appears to have been playing some soccer with pseudo-dad Owen when Owen happily surprises him with his grandma, who has finally made it to Seattle. She cries as she hugs Ethan and Owen smiles at the two of them. They then go in and see Rachel, who is doing well. Derek tells her he just wants to keep her there for a few more days for observation, but given everything that has happened she has no problem with it. Ethan then asks his grandma if she wants to see Paul. She's nervous about the idea but Owen assures her that it's fine and that Ethan talks to him every day. Ethan explains to her authoritatively that Paul is unconscious because his brain is resting, and grandma seems particularly weirded out by how fine everyone seems to be with the situation. Rachel requests to see her husband as well, and they allow Ethan to wheel her down to see him.

Bailey is looking nervously over some notes, waiting to go in for her CDC interview. She looks up as Leah walks out of the room but before she can ask anything, Leah says that she's not supposed to talk to her about it and practically sprints away to avoid any more conversation. Mr. CDC then calls her in.

Jackson goes to the ER to see if there are any patients he can help so that he can feel better about himself after the beating he took in the meeting. Just in case we didn't realize that everyone on the board is holding a grudge, Callie comes up and reports something on a random patient and then pointedly tells Jackson to alert the press. April, never one to worry about hiding an emotion, just sneers at Jackson until he bites and asks if she is okay. She proceeds to yell at him that Matthew dumped her because she lied to him about her virginity like Jackson told her to. Which... isn't true. She then proceeds to blame him for taking her virginity as if she had left it unguarded on a table and he'd snuck in like a thief and stuffed it in his bag before running out of the room, cackling. Any smidgen of goodwill I might have been feeling for her this season is gone with that. Take some responsibility, girl. But of course she doesn't, and instead blames Jackson entirely for her being neither board certified nor a virgin so basically her life is now ruined. She storms off and Jackson doesn't seem to have the energy to rightfully defend himself and instead allows himself a brief wallow since everyone is against him.

By Lauren S

Fortunately for him a medical emergency arrives to a soundtrack of yells and honking car horns. A huge family all dressed in matching family reunion t-shirts pours in, missing a number of fingers after a game of tug-o-war went awry. Fortunately for them, Uncle Al had the wherewithal to gather up the detached digits and throw them in a cooler. Callie takes a look inside and sees them floating around in ice water, and the people and fingers are all rushed inside.

Mr. CDC is conducting the interview with Bailey one-on-one, and he tells her he wants her to walk through each operation step by step. ("Mr. CDC" also makes him sound like he's won a modeling contract as the face of the company but I assure you it's much less sexy than that and he was never given a name during the episode nor on IMDb. How do characters with fairly significant roles often wind up without names? WILL NO ONE THINK OF THE RECAPPERS?) She cuts him off and suggests they look at the grafts, but he tells her gently that he is interested in her interaction with the patients. She keeps pressing the graft issue until finally he interrupts and tells her calmly that they already looked at the grafts and they are not the culprit. His voice would be so calm and soothing if it he wasn't coming from the investigator holding Bailey's career in his hands right now. He then starts a recorder and the interview really begins.

Cristina and Meredith get their swabs and then use that intimate, private moment to talk about Meredith's upcoming delivery -- she's decided on a natural birth but is pretty sure that Derek won't be able to handle seeing her in any pain and would give her drugs at the first little scream. She wants Cristina there to make sure she's left to scream sober. Cristina immediately refuses, pointing out that women poop on the table when they give birth. Alex then comes in for his own swab and after they catch him up on the conversation he echoes that there will be table pooping. How did this become such a hot topic in the past year? I haven't given birth myself so I'm not super up on these details but this is something I had never heard about before until about a year ago and since then I feel like it's come up at least a dozen times. 2012: The Year the Poop Curtain was Ripped Aside. The Great Poop Taboo has been struck down. They talk some more about The Poop but Cristina maintains that the reason she and Mere have remained friends for so long is by not watching each other poop.

April is working on one of the Keller family members and is happy to report that they can probably reattach the woman's finger. Like an attentive waiter, Jackson then appears with a tray of fingers and starts comparing them to her hand to figure out which is hers. Another Keller, Jane, asks the doctors how her daughter Francis ("Frankie") is doing, and Jane's husband Tony reports that Frankie still has a bone sticking out. (Though her fingers are all still attached.) Seeing a fake bone sticking out of the girl's hand only makes me happier that I managed to avoid seeing Kevin Ware's bone sticking out of his leg after his horrific basketball accident, even though I was watching the game live. The family members with intact appendages all start to argue about whose fault all of this is and most seem to think it points to Uncle Al. He walks in just then with French fries for everyone and seems baffled when they all yell at him to let it go, since the reunion is clearly over. Callie is with Frankie and tells her she's going to take her away for some x-rays, which relieves the teen to no end.

Rachel, Ethan, Owen and Grandma are all gathered around Paul's bed, and Rachel carries on a conversation as if her husband wasn't unconscious, laughing about how he's missing her looking skinny and sexy. Ethan smiles, but Grandma can't handle it and begins to cry, yelling that this isn't funny, her son is dying. Owen looks totally stricken as she wails, "It should be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" So just in case you missed it, Grandma is a tiny bit emotionally fragile. She doesn't listen as Owen tries to assure her that he's not dying, and Rachel decides to go have a snack with Ethan so that Grandma can have a moment with Paul alone. Owen is now looking pretty worried about this whole situation.

Jason, Cristina and Alex are all working together on a case -- a woman whose baby has some heart defect that is fine while it is in utero but as soon as it is born they'll have an hour to fix it or else the baby could die. Alex explains that they'll do a c-section and then rush the baby to the cath lab to do the procedure. The mom is a little worried about this hour deadline, so Cristina proposes that they just do the delivery right in the cath lab.

The boys usher Cristina into the hallway to voice just how crazy an idea they both think that is. And it seriously must be REALLY crazy, if the two of them are agreeing on something. Cristina points out that they can bring in all of the instruments that Alex and Jason will need for the birth and then she appeals to Jason's ego, pointing out that this would be something badass that no one had ever done before. Her play works perfectly, and Jason finally takes the bait. She then uses that to try and get Alex on board but he's still not entirely sure.

By Lauren S

Even though I'd guess Frankie only needs x-rays, she's getting a turn in the LODOX machine and as she does, complains about how stupid her family is and how much she would rather have been working on her school paper that weekend. She's a journalist who covers the "sophomore beat" but is convinced that now that her hand is crushed, her career is over. Spoken like a true 15-year old -- she'll have a career as a dramatic actress if the reporting thing doesn't work out. Callie stops her and assures her that her career prospects have not dimmed at all with this injury which seems to reassure Frankie, so she then asks a question. Her cell phone got lost in the shuffle and she asks for it back, and Callie agrees to look for it. But then Frankie has a follow-up question: what is the CDC doing at the hospital? I mean, seriously, guys. It doesn't put your patients much at ease when the CDC is walking around in jackets with the letters "CDC" printed a foot tall on the back. Callie just puts her into the machine and tries to avoid answering.

Meanwhile, Bailey begins to walk Mr. CDC through Joyce's surgery, but he stops her and makes her go back and describe scrubbing in. She's insulted when he asks how long she scrubbed for and finally tells him that it was 4 minutes and 36 seconds exactly. She is sure because she uses "Think" by Aretha Franklin which is 2 minutes and 18 seconds long, and she runs through it twice in her head. Seriously, I had to scrub once to go see my friend's twins in the NICU, and I have no idea how doctors and nurses have any skin left at all. "Think" begins to play as Bailey describes the surgery and we watch the steps. Mr. CDC is especially concerned with whether Bailey or Leah was the one to close. Bailey says that she did it, and at the same time realizes she forgot one step. She recounts that, and then concludes that the surgery went perfectly. That done, they move on to Seth.

Callie and Arizona walk over to Frankie and Tony and the first thing she asks about is her phone. To her dismay the phone has not turned up but Callie can report that Frankie's hand was pretty thoroughly crushed and she'll need quite an extensive surgery. They tell them that the goal is to get her totally back to normal but Tony seems not to quite believe this and instead hollers to Jane that Frankie's hand is in worse shape than they thought. Wow, we've actually found someone even less knowledgeable about the science of sound waves than our hospital staff. Frankie tells Callie she has no questions but then changes her mind and asks for confirmation that the CDC is there to investigate Bailey and the patients that she lost. Arizona asks suspiciously who told her all this and Frankie blurts out that it was an orderly before catching herself and saying she can't reveal her source. Well, she'll have time to perfect her methods while her hand heals. Frankie thinks that in asking that, Arizona just confirmed the info and can be her second source. Arizona practically sprints away and while Callie stays, she is visibly nervous about this budding Nancy Drew.

The whole staff seems on edge as the CDC continues their sweep of the hospital. Derek checks in with Mere and is upset to learn that she took over all of Bailey's patients except for Seth. He thinks she's taking a big risk, seeing as how she is pregnant and these patients could also have the mystery infection, but Mere wants to help Bailey and insists. She points out that this kind of concern is why she needs Cristina in the room. Derek's surprise says that this is the first he's hearing of this idea and while he can't be too surprised, he also doesn't seem too thrilled.

Owen and Cristina meet up in the elevator and he proposes a little on-call room stress reduction but she can't do it since she's on her way to the baby surgery. She rain-checks with him and then asks about Ethan's grandmother, who Owen accurately describes as sweet but useless. Cristina must know something is really up with him because she's using a soft and sweet voice that sounds totally foreign coming out of her mouth, even though she is totally sincere. She says she's glad to hear that Rachel is doing better, and adds that she's been running a bunch of neurological tests on Paul and has a good feeling that he'll be fine. Owen tells her, "Spoken like a true scientist," and gives her a proud, sciencey kiss. She then changes the subject to Mere's birth and table-pooping but Owen is adamant that Cristina be there. He tells her that "Watching a baby be born is like seeing God in person." Yeah, I'm not sure that's the argument to take with Cristina. She's surprised to hear this opinion and dryly replies that he's also spoken like a true scientist.

When Bailey starts to recount Seth's surgery, there's no Aretha accompanying her this time. We see flashbacks to the procedure and she seems to be having a few problems with the details, such as mixing up which scrub nurse was working with her that time versus during Joyce's surgery. Mr. CDC reminds her of a few details that she seems to have forgotten and she adds those to her retelling, but seems to be struggling. He asks her if she was the one to close but her answer doesn't sound convincing and he asks her if she's sure. This finally causes Bailey to snap a little bit, and she asks him if he's sure if he put his cap on the tube of toothpaste that morning. She starts to make the point that when you do something every day, you don't necessarily remember each separate time but he cuts her off thinking she's being flip, and reminds her that two patients died. She's beyond insulted and points out that since they were her own patients, she has internalized that more than even he has. He asks again if she is sure she closed but Bailey is fed up, asks to take a break, and leaves before she gets an answer despite his saying they don't have much left to do.

She finds Mere in the cafeteria and is surprised that Mere will actually talk to her since everyone else is avoiding her. Mere asks how she can help and Bailey admits that she is desperate to hear how Seth is doing. Mere reaches over to her handy tablet and starts to pull up his chart but then Jackson hollers out her name across the room and she picks up her stuff and walks over to him like a guilty cheating student off to report to the teacher. She defends Bailey for wanting to check on her patients but Jackson is on edge because he knows the CDC will think that Bailey was trying to alter Seth's chart. Mere is still angry since she thinks that he called them too soon and thinks the hospital should stand by their doctors. Jackson of course disagrees and thinks that they had no choice, which she might realize if she looked at the bigger picture of how this could blow up. Uncle Al then comes up and shyly interrupts to see how his family is doing. Before they can answer, though, there's a commotion and Rachel slumps over, having a seizure. Bailey instinctively runs to her but Jackson hollers at her to get away and goes over to help as Rachel convulses and foams at the mouth.

Jason is about to start the c-section when the patient yells at him to stop, terrified. She can't bear the thought that her baby might not make it once he's born and she begs them for more time. For the millionth time, Cristina shows us how she's grown and become an even more awesome person in addition to surgeon, she looks the mother right in the eyes and tells her in a calm, firm voice that the baby's life depends on this and they have to do it now. She coaches the woman to take some deep breaths with her, and that works. After assuring the woman that they are doing everything they can to save the baby's life, she tells the mom that she can do this. Mom nods, so Jason starts the procedure.

By Lauren S

It's just about time for Frankie's surgery, and Callie and Arizona are talking to her in the OR before she's anesthetized. She is a tenacious little reporter and keeps asking for confirmation on the Bailey story, but Callie tells her, "Let it go, Woodward." Horrifyingly, the girl asks, "Who's Woodward?" and Callie tells her dryly that she should know that. Unfortunately, I know that this is not just a crazy idea from the minds of the writers because a friend who works in news had not one but TWO interns who also had no idea who Woodward (or, for that matter, Bernstein) was. KIDS: learn the history of your chosen profession. I know we all are very focused on the here and now these days, but you can still learn some things by studying, I don't know, important past figures in your chosen field. Also: get off my lawn, whippersnappers. To prove my point, Frankie informs Callie petulantly that not giving her her phone back is denying Frankie her second amendment right. Callie asks, confused, if she wants a gun now. Frankie gets all flustered and corrects that she was talking about the first amendment. They finally order her to count backwards, and when she is mercifully asleep, Callie asks in a panic what they are going to do. Well, give her some textbooks to read while she's recovering, for one thing.

Owen breaks the news to Ethan, who seems unable to quite grasp it fully. Which is totally understandable, as he's a kid, and adults can barely process sudden death. He worries that it was caused by the ice cream they had -- Killer Brain Freeze -- but Owen assures him that it wasn't and there's nothing anyone could have done to stop it. The two of them then look through the window at Grandma, who is sobbing into Derek's arms and seems almost unable to hold herself upright. Ethan decides that he needs to be the man of the house and tells Owen he's going to go to his grandma, since she needs him to hold her hand. I'm not sure the storyline could lay it on any thicker without Owen actually musing out loud to himself, "Grandma seems like she's made of glass and Dad's been in a coma a long time and I have a deeply unresolved yearning to be a father and have bonded with this child. I wonder if events might already be in motion that would make me want to try and raise this poor not-quite-yet-an-orphan myself despite my partner's complete opposition having children and the two of us finally otherwise finding our footing as a couple after a horribly long and painful emotional journey?"

Jackson walks up to the Keller family to report on the surgeries: fingers are reattached, and in Frankie's case she should hopefully regain full use of her hand after therapy. Tony really enjoys only hearing the glass-half-empty side of these things and when he hears that therapy could last six months to a year, he turns to Al and flips out, screaming that it will be a year and there are no guarantees she'll get the use of her hand back. Al is very sorry but his coping mechanism is to try and make jokes, and he says it's good that Frankie still has all her digits and hey, the family is there for Tony. Jackson raises an eyebrow at the most awkward kinda-apology ever but Tony can't take Al anymore and hauls back and punches him in the nose. It seems fitting that after he does so, he thinks he might have broken his own hand. It's a wonder Frankie hasn't asked Owen to adopt her to get away from the drama of her actual family.

Bailey shuffles her way up to Seth's room but stops just around the corner when she hears Seth's dad yelling at Richard, who is standing with Leah. Richard tells them that Seth needs surgery immediately but Dad refuses to do so since he thinks the hospital is an unsafe "cesspool." Richard insists that it's even more unsafe to try and move Seth to a new hospital and then informs Dad that it's only one doctor infected, and she's been isolated. He, the other staff, and the ORs have all been tested and deemed clean, so it will be fine for them to operate on Seth. Bailey looks utterly betrayed and slinks away as Dad unhappily agrees to the surgery. Once Richard is left alone with Leah she is shocked to hear that Bailey really did do something wrong but Richard cuts her off and hisses that he only said all of that stuff so Dad would agree to surgery, and if she so much as thinks about repeating it he'll have her fired. But of course, Bailey is well and gone by now and doesn't hear any of that.

Alex is checking on the baby when Jason walks up and the two do a bit of bro bonding over Cristina being nuts. Jason then actually thanks Alex for his help that day and says he thinks that they got off on the wrong foot because of Princess. Alex interrupts him to grunt that they are just friends and Jason agrees, seeming to really want to believe it. Alex then goes on to say that they bonded over their messed-up foster child histories, but that Princess had it way worse than him with the homelessness and living in her car. Alex concludes that she really turned her life around and he wants what's best for her. He's so sincere about it that he doesn't realize that Jason knows absolutely none of this, though Jason does his best to pretend that this isn't a huge shock. He just thanks Alex again and leaves.

Jackson is working on Al's nose while the rest of the Kellers are gathered around Tony in a nearby room as he has his hand fixed. Al tells Jackson that it gets harder each year to get everyone to the reunion but when Jackson asks why he bothers, Al says simply that they are all I have. He never got married, and he figures that he's just meant to always be Annoying Uncle Al to the rest of the family. Jackson regards Al, and then him he's got to keep trying and he'll think of something for year. Aw, poor, put-upon Annoying Uncle Jackson understands him.

Bailey finally goes back to see Mr. CDC and asks him point-blank if she has the staph strain. Instead of answering he just turns his recorder back on and asks her again about Seth. She starts to recount the surgery but as we hear her tell about her totally routine procedure, we see Richard and Leah having a decidedly un-routine surgery that seems to just be going worse and worse. She keeps interrupting herself to ask about the results and finally tells him that everyone else has already gotten theirs, so he should have hers too. She begs him to go get the results and finally he just looks down at the table, which tells her that he's got them already. She goes from angry to terrified pretty quickly and as he says nothing she realizes that she must have tested positive. She's totally devastated to realize that she really did cause the situation.

Cristina finally agrees that she'll be in the delivery room with Meredith but reminds her delighted friend that she's never going to be able to un-see the table pooping. Mere thinks about this a moment and then points out that the only thing worse than that is that she'll know that Cristina saw that. Cristina realizes that Mere will then suffer more in this fecal situation, and is much happier about the whole thing.

She then finds Owen and is again really gentle and sincere with him about Rachel's death. It's almost alarming to see how hard she is trying with him since she knows something is wrong; finally, she asks if he is angry with her. Owen assures her that he isn't, but that he is angry with the whole situation. She's relieved and tells him that she'll cook him dinner at home but he cuts her off to say he's going to stay in case Paul's status changes or Ethan needs anything. He tells her he feels like he can't leave, and then asks what she would do in the situation, clearly hoping she'd do the same thing. But she just points out that she'd go home because she's his doctor, rather than his family. And actually, she at least IS Paul's doctor, and Owen isn't even that despite the personal interest he's taken in the case. Owen says he's staying anyway, so Cristina just smiles and tells him in a soft voice that she understands. Obviously, she actually doesn't at all.

Princess finds Alex in the NICU, and she looks like she swallowed a lemon as she knocks on the window and calls him out into the hall. Alex is totally unprepared for the tirade she unleashes against him, demanding to know why he told Jason that she is a "homeless dumpster diver." And while this is all said with a very straight face, I had a friend watching this with me who hadn't seen Grey's in years and couldn't stop laughing uncontrollably at that actually being the beginning of a serious argument. She yells at him that this is her deep dark secret that she tells no one, you know, except her friend Alex. And come on, why should he assume that the man she is involved with so deeply that they are moving in together would know this rather large and formative piece of her personal history? Come on, Alex. She then gripes, what good is it to get a new start if some dumbass is tracking you down? This doesn't even make SENSE. No one is tracking her down. The Dumpster Diver Police aren't out to haul her away, as far as we know. Alex tries to cut in but she just sneers at him to never talk about or to her again. Seriously, she sucks. No one is tracking her down and uncovering the deep secret truth about her since SHE WAS THE ONE WHO TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. Alex, this girl is the worst. She has such a deep relationship with her martyr complex that there will never be enough room for you in her life. Go find someone who DOESN'T SUCK.

The CDC has finished their investigation, and Mr. CDC has a meeting with Owen and the board to discuss what they found: a MRSA staph infection with a very long, scary-sounding, technical name. As he announces that, Bailey timidly opens the door and while Jackson thinks she shouldn't be there, she says that since the meeting is about her, she wants to be there. Mr. CDC leaves it up to the docs and Mere leads a hasty vote in which everyone but Jackson thinks it is okay that she stay. The symptoms of the infection can range from just a rash to death, which explains why Bailey hasn't seemed ill even though she had it. But the good news is, they found that the real reason for the spread was the shitty cheap gloves that Pegasus made the hospital use. (Seriously, why have they got logoed coffee sleeves but they haven't changed back other random Pegasus-imposed changes?) Mr. CDC's colleagues pour water into a glove and squeeze it out, showing that there are microscopic tears. He concludes that if the gloves hadn't been faulty, the infection never would have spread. Between this and the plane crash, obviously no one should try to cut financial corners ever again. Mr. CDC's recommendation is to get Bailey cured before she goes back to work. The docs are all thrilled about this news... except for Bailey. With tears in her eyes, she backs out of the room, and suddenly the joy is gone from the room and everyone looks worried.

Callie then goes to see Frankie and gives her not only her phone, but a copy of the press release the hospital is now issuing, explaining what happened. She tells the delighted young reporter that she has 12 hours to scoop whatever news outlets pick this up. Frankie is beside herself, wriggling like a puppy with joy, and a happy Callie tells her to go be awesome. Frankie then says that she has both a question and a follow-up, but this time Callie laughs at her cheeky overeager instincts instead of fretting that she's going to destroy them all. We never actually do hear those questions, though.

Jackson goes back to the ER where April is once again pouting while standing at the desk. He gives her the good news about Bailey but she's more interested in still laying all of her problems on her ex. He finally gets fed up and tells her that he's done being treated like shit, and if she wants to feel guilty about what happened she's to leave him out of it. He reminds her, quite rightly, that he didn't force her to do anything. Her mature reaction to this is to just out her jaw while she fidgets defiantly. He tells her he's sorry she got hurt and that Matthew broke up with her, but he'll never be sorry about sleeping with her. She looks surprised to hear this though I don't know why because he's said it at least a few times before, but on cue Matthew appears with sad puppy-dog eyes and says hello. Jackson leaves, and Matthew takes his place in front of April and apologizes to her. She at least has the good grace to tell him he has nothing to apologize for but he thinks he does since he didn't give her a "do over" like she asked him for. He now wants his own do-over, and April grabs him in a hug and tells him of course. But over his shoulder, she stares in the direction where Jackson walked away.

Richard walks outside and finds Bailey sitting on the bench where everyone goes to sit and stare contemplatively at the rain when they are sad or upset. He tells her that this could have happened to any of them, but she doesn't want to hear it since she killed two patients. She then asks about Seth, and is horrified when Richard reluctantly admits that he didn't make it either. Bailey can't deal with having now killed three people, and when Richard reaches out towards her she shies away and begins to yell. She thinks that Richard totally abandoned her when she wanted to try and help Seth, and that he was really only looking out for the hospital and not for her during this whole thing. And while this is yet another fight brought on by a misunderstanding since she walked away and didn't hear him stand up for her earlier, this one is way more believable (compared to the stupid April/Jackson or Princess/Alex fights) since she's gutted by the patient deaths. So gutted, in fact, that she really starts cutting deep as she continues to holler at Richard. She says that she always defended him when Adele claimed that he cared about the hospital about everything else. She then reminds him that she also covered for him while he was operating on people drunk, and that all of that means she deserved to have him stand by her now. Richard is shocked into silence, and Bailey just finishes up that he's not who she thought he was. She then walks away while he stares, dumbfounded. I'm curious to see how their relationship plays out, though, because he doesn't seem angry, at least at this moment. I think he knows how deeply hurt she is and where all this was coming from even though I'm sure he's itching to point out that he DID stand up for her. They'll have some talking to do, at least.

By Lauren S

At the McMansion, Derek and Meredith are in bed and she tells him that Cristina has agreed to be in the delivery room. He seems a little bit offended but she coos that she wants him there to hold her hand and feed her ice chips and that Cristina will just take care of handling the doctors and nurses and the drugs and whatnot. Derek knows when to give up, and he does, kissing her and saying that it's fine. He turns out the light as Mere then casually mentions the possible table pooping. The look of horror on his face says that he's never witnessed the miracle of life before, and had no idea that might be coming. Mere gives him a sheepish grin.

Cristina is reading in bed and is surprised to find Alex knocking on her door. Bailey's voice reminds us about the sleeping monsters that are all about to wake up and eat us all, or something. Alex admits that Cristina was right, and he's in love with Princess. She makes fun of him and he tries to leave, but she actually calls after him and then pats the bed to her. The look of confused revulsion on his face is priceless, and she has to order him to come over and sit down. He looks decidedly uncomfortable and tells Cristina she's weird, but she just tells him to give it a minute. He does seem to relax a little, and then finally blurts out that he always screws himself out of everything good. And while that is usually true, and he was certainly dumb to not make a move when he had the chance, this time he's totally not the responsible party for everything going to shit. He made a really honest mistake and -- let's all sing it again -- PRINCESS SUCKS. Cristina just sits and digests this a moment, and then quietly admits that she thinks she is losing Owen. Alex is surprised, but Cristina explains that it may not be at this moment, but it's coming. The two then settle back to be silently miserable together.

Lauren S is a writer who lives and works in Atlanta and will probably never play tug-of-war again. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."