Impractical Magic

S09E22

Bailey has been cleared to operate again, but she refuses to come out of her lab or talk to anyone and it's finally revealed that she just keeps doing the MRSA test on herself over and over again. Now that she's had treatment, the results all come back negative but she keeps testing anyway. Everyone comes by and tries talking to (or yelling at) her through the window but she refuses to speak a word to or acknowledge anybody. Mere thinks Richard needs to talk to her, but Richard tells her that he's definitely not the one to do so since he hurt her so badly, and he's not sure their relationship will ever be the same. However, he knows her well enough that he calls the one person she does need: Ben. He flies to Seattle immediately and she falls into his arms, sobbing about how she killed the patients and now, even though she's clear, she can't stop feeling dirty.

Richard and Mere would have loved Bailey's help for their patient -- a magician's assistant who was accidentally actually cut in half with a chainsaw during a trick gone wrong. The magician is the woman's husband, and he and the second assistant spend all of their time screaming at each other about the accident. Miraculously, the docs manage to keep her alive and patch her somewhat back together, as it's revealed that the woman and the other assistant had fallen in love while her marriage with Mr. Magic fell apart. Smash has been helping out and he's desperate to try and figure out how the trick was supposed to work but the magician tells him he doesn't want to know because then it will never be the same, and we all learn some sort of lesson. Mainly, don't attempt magic tricks with actual chainsaws.

Derek and Heather are doing brain surgery on a cute little girl who has a nightmare little brother who keeps acting out when his sister gets attention. Eventually, Derek manages to get the kid to calm down by telling him he put magic in his sister's head so I think now he's spooked enough to behave? Derek then goes home and puts on a tiara for a princess tea with Mere and Zola, and it's about as ridiculously cute a thing as you can imagine. They muse about what Fetus will be like once he's born, and everyone is happy and well-adjusted, so surely something horrible is going to happen soon.

Everyone else is involved in some sort of relationship drama. April's patient is a dumb girl who was drinking herself into a stupor on her 21st birthday when she then drank something that had liquid nitrogen in it which basically made her stomach explode. April manages to come up with some crazy cool surgery to fix the girl and since Bailey is out and the others are sewing up the magician's assistant, Jackson winds up assisting her in the procedure. She apologizes to him for blaming all of her life's problems on him, and then he is impressed when she yells at the girl's dumb drunk friends to try and make them better people. They finally have a moment where they seem like actual friends again, but just as quickly things go back to being stilted. Jackson then goes to Joe's for a drink where he sees poor Stephanie -- he forgot he had a date with her, and it's not the first time. She flips out on him since she's fallen for him (and she hates it) but he sweeps her up in a kiss of reassurance. Surely this is all going to fall to pieces soon.

Arizona goes to get herself some coffee and has a meet-cute with a tall, sexy woman named Lauren (coincidence?) who later turns out to be a specialist who was brought in to work on one of Arizona's cases. Lauren flirts like crazy with Arizona who, I hate to say, seems to quite like it. Arizona finally tells her that she's happily married but Lauren already knew that as she did her homework before she got to Seattle. Which means she also doesn't really care and she leaves Arizona with a look that says that this is only beginning.

Alex spends his day trying desperately to avoid Princess while of course running into her repeatedly. She finally seeks him out to ask him if they can get past this and talk, which is weird, since she's the one who ordered him to never speak to her again in the first place. Regardless, it dissolves into another fight anyway and she storms off. Alex and Jackson later see her having a huge screaming fight with Jason but Alex is over it and they take off. That night when Alex gets home Princess is sitting on his front porch and asks if she can stay -- when she turns to him, it looks like Jason did more than get verbally abusive during their fight.

Do you remember when Cristina said that it could take up to eight days for Paul to wake up? Ethan sure does, so he sleeps in his dad's room that night so that he won't miss it. Unfortunately, Paul doesn’t wake up despite Cristina doing crazy worldwide research to try and come up with some new solution to bring him out of his coma. Ethan's grandma is exhausted and takes the boy to her hotel for a few hours to get some rest, despite his protests. A while later Arizona gets an emergency page and Ethan is rushed in, unconscious, having gotten into his grandma's sleeping pills. Arizona wisely keeps Owen away while she treats the boy, since he's gotten way too close; fortunately she is able to save him. She also calls Social Services, per hospital policy, and they visit but decide that it was special circumstances and they won't take Ethan away. Unfortunately, Grandma tells Owen that she thinks they should because it really looks like Paul is never waking up and she's not capable of actually caring for a 10-year-old. While curled up together later that evening Cristina reminds Owen sadly that he still wants kids, and while Owen assures her that he wants HER, (and at least in that moment truly means it) it looks like they are still heading for some major problems ahead when poor Ethan needs an actual parent.

The season is almost over, so this week we start out with action right away -- action in the form of an unconscious woman brought in with bloody bandages all over her midsection. With her are a man with a hideous moustache and soul patch wearing a tux with a sparkly red vest, and a woman in a vaguely matching sparkly red minidress who are screaming at each other. He's a magician named Danny (I like to think it's a nod to the illustrious Danny Gans, though Danny Gans would never have that hideous facial hair) and both the woman in the dress and the one on the stretcher were his two assistants. The poor one on the stretcher, Kayla, also happens to be his wife. The sparkly red-dressed assistant, Elise, screams at the man that they weren't ready as the doctors pull back the bandages and blood starts to spurt all over everyone. Finally, the doctors learn that they were performing the "cut the woman in half" magic trick at a trade show only this time... he accidentally ACTUALLY cut the woman in half. Meredith hollers out for someone to call Bailey. She also VOs that while surgeons know a whole lot about the human body, there are only so many tricks they have to put it back together.

Someone puts a nicely branded (but sleeve-free) cup of coffee on the counter with "Lauren" written across it. Shout out to the world's coolest recapper, obviously. Arizona picks up the cup and starts pouring an ungodly amount of sugar into the cup as a tall, gorgeous woman behind her says that she's Lauren. COINCIDENCE? I think not. Arizona is super apologetic but Lauren just laughs it off and takes the cup with Arizona's name on it, then begins saucily drinking the coffee. Arizona realizes that this is a totally cinematic meet-cute because she gets all nervous and embarrassed, and Lauren walks away flirtily telling Arizona that she hopes they'll see each other again. Oh, show. Seriously? After everything you put us through with Callie and Arizona this season this is what you came up with?

Callie walks up as they rush Kayla inside; she's got some ortho-esque problems but Callie isn't needed yet since they first have to, oh, patch Kayla's internal organs back together. Danny and Elise are still arguing and seem to genuinely hate each other, which I feel isn't really a good thing when you have to work together with chainsaws. Apparently Elise was screaming their safe word, "Titanic," but he couldn't hear her over the sound of the saw -- a technical detail I feel they will want to revisit in the future. Derek runs up and grabs Heather to work on his case and she pouts because she wanted in on the gruesome chainsaw action. Then Richard runs up and tells Mere and Callie that he's still taking Bailey's patients. Callie is surprised and details for us that Bailey was cleared of the infection and given the okay to go back to work but obviously it looks like she's not ready. Once Mere, Richard and Smash get Kayla into the elevator and can't be overheard, Mere asks Richard incredulously how she is even still alive. No one can figure that out.

Ethan is sleeping in a chair to his dad's bed and Grandma explains to Owen that he overheard the eight-day thing and wants to be there when his dad wakes up. Owen is slightly exasperated since the human body doesn't always follow specific medical schedules and when he asks Grandma if she understands this she tells him, almost offended, that of course she does, but Ethan is just a little boy. Owen points out the obvious, that it's kind of Grandma's job to prepare Ethan for the possibility that his dad won't wake up, but Grandma can't bring herself to do that and begs Owen to take care of it instead. She starts to cry again, so we're reminded AGAIN that she seems incredibly ill-prepared to really care for Ethan. Ethan then wakes up, excitedly asking them if he missed it, and Owen just looks sad.

Cristina walks into the elevator where she finds Alex doing his best Unabomber impression, slouching with his grey hoodie pulled up over his head. She begins to complain about Paul's family gathering around expectantly on the eighth day but then realizes he's ignoring her and turns to see that he's got in earbuds and hasn't heard a word she said. She pulls one out of his ear and teases him for indulging his broken heart, and then orders him to get over Princess. He claims it's hard when he's always running into her and on cue, the doors open and there she is. Cristina orders her to take the stairs instead, and closes the doors.

April has a patient in the ER who is moaning and grabbing at her stomach while her two drunk, airhead girlfriends slur about their partying and ass-grabbing and take pictures. Because nothing is more awesome than pictures of your friend's 21st birthday hospital visit, for sure. Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Dumb order the girl, Kimmy, to "boot and rally" so she can get back to her birthday celebrations but Kimmy can't hear them over her moans of pain. April tries to ask them questions but the two probably wouldn't be smart enough to answer even if they hadn't drunk their own body weight in alcohol already. One of them eventually boots (and, presumably, rallies) while the other cackles uncontrollably.

Arizona is happily drinking out of her Lauren cup when Callie comes up and asks who Lauren is... she's the amazingly cool recapper of this show, guys, duh. Arizona starts to answer but Callie didn't really care that much and instead wants to talk about Bailey and how vexed she is that Richard is still caring for her patients. She thinks that Bailey should just be mad at Jackson for calling the CDC and tells him that as they walk up; he insists that they all called but Callie refuses to take any responsibility for it. Arizona leaves to go do a consult and Callie leaves to go fret about Bailey some more which gives Stephanie an opportunity to storm up to Jackson with a face like thunder. He realizes he forgot dinner (and sex) the night before and apologizes profusely without actually letting her get a word in edgewise. Before she knows what has happened he has held an entire one-sided conversation and promised to make it up to her later that night.

By Lauren S

Callie goes to the genome lab to try and talk to Bailey but Bailey ignores all of the knocking and everything Callie says. Basically, Callie has to finally admit that they all approved Jackson's plan to call the CDC but tries to place the blame on him anyway so that she'll talk to them again. She tries being happy about Bailey's reinstatement and then stern regarding her behavior, but Bailey just continues to work at her microscope with her back to the door. Eventually she tunes out Callie's voice while she continues to work on something.

Owen and Ethan are playing soccer in the ambulance bay, which seems kind of like a tragic accident waiting to happen. Ethan finally asks what happens if his dad never wakes up but Owen tells him they aren't there yet, in what is a very father/son type moment between the two. Just to smack us in the head a little more with their growing relationship, Grandma comes out to take Ethan back to the hotel for a few hours to rest, and Ethan tells Owen he'd rather stay there with him. Owen manages to convince Ethan to go with his Grandma, though, and promises that he'll call if anything changes with Paul.

Richard, Mere and Smash are pulling out shredded pieces of Kayla's organs and it's all a squashy, bloody, chainsawed mess compounded with bleeding from a mystery source. Danny was apparently very vigorous in his efforts to get the trick done right because they find that she even has chainsaw cuts on her vertebrae -- he really did actually almost cut her completely in two if all that stopped him was her SPINE. Did he not think that there might have been too much resistance as he was going through? Callie comes in to check Kayla's status but really it's just for our benefit to start another conversation about Bailey. Mere asks Richard if he's talked to her but Richard tells them to focus on their patient, and Callie leaves to let them work. They decide they have to give the poor girl a rest and get her into the ICU for now.

Arizona walks in to her consult regarding a wee baby, Tyler, who has a huge growth on his nose which is essentially his brain, growing on the outside of his skull. Jackson greets her and then introduces her to craniofacial specialist Dr. Boswell, who turns out to be Hot Coffee Babe Lauren. Arizona can barely string words together but Lauren makes it easy on her by raving about how rare and exciting a case this is. She leaves to go take some scans, telling Arizona she can't wait to reconvene later. Jackson is all excited Lauren is there because she's awesome, while Arizona seems unable to decide if she's excited to work with a hottie or upset to have her equilibrium shaken by a hottie.

Danny is fidgeting magician-style, which means that he's fiddling with a deck of cards while Elise sits at Kayla's bedside. The two are still arguing and are desperately scared, but Danny isn't too scared to remind Elise to refer to their work as "illusions" and not tricks. (Elise, a trick is something a whore does for money.) He also yells at Elise to abide by the "magician's code" and not give away how the chainsaw trick works... or, is supposed to work, at any rate. The doctors are all kind of in awe of the spectacle in front of them but finally take their leave.

Cristina is working in Paul's room, musing about how else she could have treated him. Stephanie is working with her and foolishly thinks Cristina actually wants feedback; she gets annoyed when Cristina keeps actually shutting her up every time she tries to add something. Cristina concludes, in a conversation with herself, that she totally did the right thing by inducing therapeutic hypothermia.

Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Dumb are still being no help at all, and in fact just find it highly amusing that April wants to know everything Kimmy put in her mouth that day. Well... okay, April did kind of walk right into that one. But as Kimmy's abdomen is ruptured, she needs the Tweedles' help. The Tweedles happen to catch sight of Jackson, though, and it's all over. They wave him over and ask for breast examinations and it's only when April yells desperately that Kimmy could die that they finally start to give some answers. They rattle off a nauseating list of drinks until they get to one that I think they call a "smoking nipple" but they are slurring badly and Dr. Google is showing me no drink by that name. Regardless, it sounds like something idiotic college kids would find awesome, and the smoke seems to trigger an idea for both Jackson and April so they ask if the drink uses actual smoke or dry ice. Before the Tweedles can do anything like ask what dry ice is, Kimmy vomits up blood everywhere, kind of like I feel like doing when I think about mixing all of those liquors.

By Lauren S

Of course, given the age we live in, the interns have found a video online of the chainsaw incident and are watching excitedly. Smash is trying to figure out how the trick works -- or, is supposed to work, rather -- while the others all scream at the gore. Well, except for Heather, who looks like a kid on Christmas watching the carnage. Alex walks up but when he sees Princess there he turns the other way. Unfortunately for him, he runs into Cristina and Meredith and Cristina keeps mocking him about his bwoken heawt. Mere is more concerned with Bailey locking herself in her lab and ignoring everyone since it's not like her. Cristina thinks on this a moment and then has an idea and runs off excitedly. Mere then gets a page herself and runs off.

Callie wanders back into the OR ostensibly to check on Kayla but really to progress Bailey's storyline and how it's tied to Richard - he tells her he doesn't want to hear about how Bailey is still mad at all of them, but she persists and points out that she thinks Richard might be the only one who could convince her to come out of the lab. When Mere agrees, Richard snaps and yells at the two of them that Bailey doesn't want to see him right now because he hurt her badly, and he's not sure their relationship will ever recover. He then orders them to drop it and focus on the surgery and they are both so stunned by his outburst that they do it.

Stephanie walks into Paul's room where Cristina is having a conversation with someone in French, and she deserves Cristina's scorn when she asks if she is still on the phone with the doctors in France about a possible coma fix. Girl. I know you're desperate to get in any word with anyone today, but asking a question more obvious than, "Is the sky blue?" or "Is Ryan Gosling dreamy?" isn't going to win you points from anyone. At any rate, the French case didn't offer the answers that they needed, and neither did a doctor in Mexico City who Stephanie called. Cristina dismisses her for again being useless, and Stephanie glares but stomps out of the room. This story thread would be tedious if it were about a character I cared about, but since we still don't really know (and therefore care about) Stephanie that much, it's extra excruciatingly dumb.

Derek is doing surgery on a plastic doll head while Alex and a lot of other doctors gather around to watch him stick some sort of pole down the plastic neck, under the plastic skin. I think they were working on a small effects budget this week. Princess comes in to observe and Derek happily calls her over, much to Alex's annoyance. And where is the only open spot for her to stand? Right to Alex, of course. Derek finishes up the procedure and reports that if all goes well, and a few weeks the tissue he just put in the girl's brain will suck up all the blood it's supposed to. Heather is bummed that there aren't immediate or guaranteed results, so Derek dismisses her and has Princess help close instead. Of course Alex can't believe it, because damaged martyrs with attitude problems are his weakness and he can't get over his loooooove.

April pulls what looks like a giant steak out of Kimmy's abdomen and then she and Jackson chat easily while they work, teasing each other like they used to back before they went to the carnival and things got weird between them. Jackson is still having a hard time with the fact that he can't do all the surgeries he'd like since he's busy running the hospital and jealous of Lauren being able to fly all over the world, performing miracles. April tells him he's performing one here by holding the hospital together, and he thanks her sincerely.

By Lauren S

Speaking of Lauren, she's looking at Tyler's scans while Arizona stands behind her and admires the view. Callie pops her head in to ask Arizona a question, but Arizona calls her inside to see what they are doing. Callie is super excited because there's a bone graft component to the surgery that she finds super cool. Lauren then explains that after she's done, Arizona and Jackson can finish up the surgery themselves but Arizona is quick to invite Lauren to do it all so that they can watch and learn. Lauren is more than happy to do so, and after seeing how smart and funny Lauren is, Callie leans in to Arizona and jokes that she's a little bit in love with her. Arizona grimaces and chuckles unnaturally along with her wife. Seriously. No.

So the plan that they have come up with to get Bailey to talk is... to ambush her as she comes out of the bathroom. They are all lined up and when she opens the door, she's startled and none too happy. She keeps her face even and tries to hold on to her dignity, given the locale, as she walks past them. They all try to apologize and Derek jumps in to say that he knows from experience that shutting everyone out isn't the way to solve problems. Finally, he tells her that the hospital doesn't work without her, so they need her back. Her response is to go back in the lab and lock the door. Arizona then gets a page and runs off to the ER. Callie decides to try some tough love and yells that it's not even Bailey's lab -- they bought it for her. It comes off as badly as it sounds, and even Cristina thinks that she went too far. But Bailey just continues to ignore them all.

Owen runs into the ER demanding to know what's going on; the page Arizona got was for Ethan, who got into his grandma's sleeping pills and is now unconscious. Arizona won't let Owen anywhere near the boy since he's gotten too close, and I'm glad that one of them still seems to have a head on their shoulders about this. Owen then yells at Grandma that now they are legally obligated to call social services. He's furious, but Grandma just sobs that they can't lose Ethan too. It's too much for Owen to handle and he just turns away from her.

By Lauren S

Fortunately, Arizona is awesome and got Ethan whatever meds he needed to counteract the sleeping pills so he should be fine. Owen gets all casual and, "About social services..." but before he can embarrass himself further Arizona says that she already called them. Cristina is watching all this and then has an idea about Paul and how she might reverse his coma. She and Owen go sprinting away...

...and meet up with Stephanie in Paul's room. Steph's confused because the idea is to give him sleeping pills to wake him up. But Cristina explains that when a brain has a chemical imbalance, the sleeping medication can sometimes have the opposite effect and wake people up. They give the meds, and then all stare at him, hoping for a miracle.

Kayla is out of surgery and Richard tells Danny and Elise that the 24 hours are critical. Poor Danny asks if this means she's out of the woods, and Elise shrieks that he didn't say that. Mercifully, Mere orders them to stop fighting and to get over whatever stupid history they have because Kayla needs them. Hmm, might this thinking go for Bailey and Richard in some possible way? Both magic folks look properly chastised, and then Danny starts a clichéd sad-person soliloquy about how he saw that Kayla was unhappy but he always shut her down when she wanted to talk and he thought it would get better if they had more money or fame or boo hoo hoo don't care. Elise of course turns suddenly gentle but Danny has learned his lesson and tells Elise that Kayla needs her, and she's the one who can help her. Richard takes this to heart and is lost in thought.

Alex is working at a computer when Princess comes in to work on one as well, and after a moment she stands up and asks, exasperated, if they can at least try to talk to each other. This would make more sense if she hadn't been the one to order him never to speak to her again in the first place. Alex is confused, and then gets offended when she adds that she doesn't want to have to avoid pediatrics from now on because of what happened. He spits that he's done nothing but try to help her, but she gets all mad and yells that every time he says anything her life gets worse, and things with Jason had been perfect before Alex ruined it. I don't have the energy to rant about how ridiculous this is and how she can't seem to take responsibility or be an adult about anything. Alex actually says it for me - he tells her that he's sorry Jason can't deal with her past but that's her own problem. He adds, "I'm sick of crazy chicks with problems." Well, that's on you, dude. We'd all love it if you branched out to ones that were actually kind of likable and sane. Princess gets all offended all over again and storms out, leaving Alex once again all sad because he's totally not actually done with crazy chicks.

It's Mere's turn to try and talk to Bailey, and she tells her about the miracle work she did on Kayla. But Bailey takes no notice, and eventually Mere's voice fades to a Peanuts-style buzz in the background while Bailey works. Mere finally gives up and leaves, and we see Bailey just calmly pick up a petri dish. What Bailey keeps hearing in her head is all of the conversations about her patients and everything that happened, and she replays that over and over as she takes out a swab, runs it over her hand, and scrapes that into the dish. She then labels it and sets it down, and we see at least 50 dishes laid out in rows on the table. On the computer screen we see a long list of tests she's run on herself that all show results as negative for MRSA. But as if in a trance, she sits down and starts the process over yet again.

Once Ethan wakes up, Owen goes in to see him and asks what happened. Ethan just mutters that he wanted to go to sleep, and Owen responds by giving him a lecture about how dangerous it is to take medication that isn't yours. He then tells Ethan he's never to take any pills without a parent's permission. Oh good grief, I don't think for a second he'd even have a moment where he blanked and said those words; I just think they wrote that line so that Ethan could reply sadly that he doesn't think he has any parents anymore. Owen looks punched in the gut and Ethan asks if there is anything else they can do, and from the doorway Cristina appears and answers that they are trying everything they can think of, and that they aren't giving up on Paul. Ethan starts to cry, and Owen tries to comfort him while giving Cristina a tiny nod of thanks and dismissal. From the hallway, she watches them, worried.

Alex and Jackson walk out of the hospital and make plans to go drink themselves into stupors at Joe's. (So Jackson really was making an excuse and wasn't ready to have a drink with April, then.) They hear a commotion and turn around to see Jason and Princess having a screaming argument inside; Alex tells Jackson he already warned Princess that Jason was an ass, and so he's over it now and not getting involved.

Owen finds Grandma watching Ethan sleep and she tells him that the social worker said these were extraordinary circumstances and so they wouldn't take Ethan into custody. But then she drops her bomb: she thinks that they should. Owen tries to reassure her but she points out that he needs more than she can give. She can't even drive because of cataracts, and takes the bus to see her husband in his home. So, they walked to their hotel earlier? Owen asks about other distant family but Grandma is all there is, and I hate to say it because they've been trying to paint her as emotionally not up to the task, but she actually is talking more sense now than she has before. Of course, she is crying again, because we're not going to get totally away from that. And it is a sad situation, but apparently I am just a ghoul with a heart of stone because I can't get invested in this Ethan-Owen bond that's been shoved down our throats. Owen again tries to calm her but she finally tells him that they all realize Paul is gone and not coming back. She cries that Ethan needs someone to look after him and she can't. He puts his hand on her as she sobs, and a sad piano starts. Hmm, here is an adult who wants a child and is of suitable parenting age! WHATEVER MIGHT HAPPEN?

When Alex and Jackson get to Joe's, Jackson sees Stephanie looking dolled up and having a drink alone and he quickly realizes that he really did have plans that he once again forgot. He walks up and begins to apologize but she's tired of being talked at and yells at him to shut up. She then demands to know if the reason he hasn't called in 11 days is because he's head of the hospital. She hates herself for knowing how long it's been and how she looks needy and obsessed, but... she still knows. Honey, we've all been there, it's okay. She finally allows Jackson to talk but when he tells her it is because of his hospital duties, she grabs her bag and starts to storm out, pointing out that she deserves to be treated better. "DO THAT!" she yells at him, as every one of us has wanted to yell at a boy, probably more than once. Jackson grabs her and gives her a long kiss, and she drops her purse then and there and kisses him back.

April gets in the elevator to go home and is both pleased and troubled to find Lauren inside, especially when she says pointedly that she hoped to see Arizona again. She then tells Arizona what pretty eyes she has, and Arizona can't take it anymore. Without looking at her, she stutters that she's married to the awesome and hot Callie. She then adds that she also only has one leg. Lauren is unfazed by all of it, smiling the whole time. She finally asks Arizona how many "Arizona Robbins" there are on the internet and as she gets off the elevator whispers kind of seductively, "One." She gets off the elevator and tells Arizona she'll see her tomorrow but instead of being both pleased and troubled, Arizona just looks straight-up pleased. SHOW, NO.

Danny is still shuffling his cards while Elise sits to Kayla's bedside. Heather bounds up to Smash, outside the room, and gripes about the crappy boring brain surgery she had to watch while he got to work on this case. Smash, of course, is offended because he would have loved to witness the brain surgery and again I ask, why can two interns not have the same specialty? Regardless, he's been kept busy trying to figure out how the cutting-the-woman-in-half illusion is supposed to work. He has got some of it, but can't figure out the rest. Danny overhears and tells him to let it go. "Trust me, it will ruin it." He then poetically puts down his deck of cards and walks away.

Richard is staring at Bailey in her lab when someone with a very familiar voice calls out -- it's Ben, and Richard called him because he knows Bailey needs him. Ben looks at his wife through the window and thanks him, while Mere watches all of this from afar with a smile. She VO's, meanwhile, that some wounds take more than just surgery to heal. Blah blah heart, emotional wounds blah.

Bailey is totally startled to hear Ben's voice and rushes to unlock the door for him. She asks who called him but he tells her it doesn't matter (at Richard's request, I am certain) and cuts her off while she frets about his intern exams. He reminds her that he's her husband, and she doesn't have to go through things alone anymore because he is there to help her. He then gathers her in a big hug and tells her softly that it wasn't her fault. She begins to fall apart as she argues that it was and then looks at her hands, saying that she put those hands into patients and they died. She admits that though they have cleared her, she can't bear the thought of going back into an OR in case something like this happens again, and she's been testing herself over and over. He's horrified to see the sheer number of dishes as she cries that the feeling that she's dirty refuses to go away. He then gathers her back into his arms and tries to soothe her. I'm so glad they let these two actually get married, and if anything happens to them, I'm going to be a very unhappy camper.

Owen and Cristina are spooning in an on-call room but she looks troubled and finally tells him that he's changed. It's not accusatory at all, just sad and matter-of-fact as she adds that he wants a kid. Owen seems to have no idea where this is coming from and assures her that he wants her, finally interrupting her to kiss per passionately. But she seems unconvinced, and after sharing a look with him, she turns back over and clutches at one of his hands while she lays her head back down.

As Mere reminds us that there's no such thing as magic, we see Zola in a princess dress serving tea to Mere and Derek, who are wearing tiger ears and a princess tiara, respectively. Even my cold dead heart thinks this is about the cutest thing in the world. After having seen Terror Brother, Derek is worried that Fetus is going to be a jerk, but Mere assures him that it's going to be fine. She also points out that Zola will probably do a good job handling him since she's skilled at bending people to her will -- case in point, Derek in a tiara, sipping tea with his pinky in the air.

Alex drags his butt home and his shoulders slump when he sees Princess waiting on a bench outside his front door. He pleads that he's trying to leave her alone but she keeps popping up everywhere and he doesn't need her to yell at him again about the same things over and over. She is staring at the ground and when he gets close, finally turns and looks up at him. He's shocked to see that her face is beaten, and she asks him in a quavering voice if she can stay there for the night. Alex's white knight instincts kick in; he looks murderous, and if I were Jason I'd be very nervous right now. Mere finishes up that while not everything can be repaired, almost everything can be survived.

By Lauren S

Lauren S is a writer who lives and works in Atlanta and will a firm "no smoking cocktails" personal policy. She wants everyone to know: "The views expressed in my recaps and anything else I might write on TWoP are my own and do not necessarily reflect the views of my employer."