Meredith and Derek finally go to the baby doctor to see how everyone's plumbing is working, and it turns out Mere has a hostile uterus. And yes, that comes with as many jokes as you think it might. April is in on it, because she knew about the miscarriage, but Lexie doesn't know that and just thinks that Meredith is yet another person who thinks she's nuts and not worthy of being told anything important. Lexie and April then have to work together on a patient who crashed her car into a laundromat, and when they find out that the woman did it on purpose to try and hurt her ex-husband, Lexie cracks and starts sympathizing with her just a little bit. She and Mere have a talk and straighten everything out, though, and Lexie manages to lay off of April a bit, too, while once again being reminded that in fact a lot of people actually love her and don't think she's crazy.
Cristina is on Bailey's service for the day, and their patient is a guy who is doing a medical experiment that involves letting worms grow in his body to try and find a cure for asthma. When it comes time for his surgery, Bailey is the first of the doctors to actually ask Cristina if she wants to scrub in for surgery, even just to observe, and while Cristina still isn't ready she seems touched by someone actually asking rather than telling her or just assuming things about her. She also has a moment with the worm guy when she realizes how passionate he is about his work, and how he is going to try the experiment again even though it might kill him -- because, when you have a passion for something that lights up your life like that, you do whatever you can to live that passion. Cristina seems to take this to heart, and while she doesn't yet brave the OR, she decides to take a step in her personal life -- she and Owen have been looking for a place to live and he's bummed that she seems totally disinterested by everything. After her day with Bailey and worm guy, though, she winds up buying Owen the converted firehouse that he so loved, because, as she explains, she genuinely doesn't care where she lives, but he loved the place and she loves him, and it's a rather awesome step for her.
Arizona is being driven crazy by Mark and how he always seems to be around wanting to do everything with her and Callie these days, and she also hates that he is That Guy who always stares at her boobs. But when she, Callie and Alex help a kid who is a crazy gifted dancer with bone cancer in his leg, Alex, of all people, manages to teach her that Mark actually is a pretty good guy, and Arizona decides to finally give him a chance.
Jackson, who up until now always seems to have been smart and on the ball, is now screwing things up on a regular basis and as a result is not being taken very seriously as a doctor. When Teddy leaves him out of a surgery he decides to use what God gave him in terms of his numerous physical assets, and he flirts his way into the OR. He thinks he's got Teddy all flustered but it seems she actually just couldn't believe he was really going there, and afterward she lays into him and promises to report him if he ever tries using his charms to get ahead again. Fortunately for all of us, he's not wearing a shirt during her entire lecture, so while he's going to have to stop using his looks to try and get ahead, we at least get a nice long parting moment with his abs. Boy howdy!
And finally, between Meredith's not-great news about her uterus and her treating a patient with Huntington's Disease, she decides that she should know if she carries the gene for early-onset Alzheimer's like her mother had. When she tells Derek, however, he says that he doesn't want to know, because he loves her either way, and baby or no baby, Alzheimer's gene or no Alzheimer's gene, he just wants them to live their lives, so she decides to just be happy with what she's got and not learn the results. Well, at least for now. Since she did actually have her blood taken and sent to the lab, I do kind of wonder if this is going to come up again in the future. We shall see.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see how they could've gotten rid of Izzie!
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ABC seems to be making a habit of starting this show a few seconds early now, cutting off the beginning of Meredith's always scintillating voiceovers. But seriously, in this age of the DVR, why is it that shows suddenly get a little bit off schedule every so often? In terms of Important Issues, this is clearly up there with world peace, I know. In the absence of the first ten seconds, I shall fill in: "Blah blah blah something about biology... we grow older, new instincts kick in. We become territorial." It's hard to be territorial when four of you have to share a bathroom in the hospital's local frat house, even if this is the BIGGEST bathroom in the world. Seriously, I could fit my bed in there. Alex is brushing his teeth, Jackson pops out of the shower asking for a towel ("But why bother?" most of this show's viewing audience asks their television), April hands him one but then she knocks in to Lexie and causes her to cut a giant gash in her leg with her razor. Have any of these people heard of taking turns in there? Meredith and Derek pop their heads in and while Derek comments (rightly) that this isn't normal, Meredith beams at her motley crew of lodgers.
"We learn to compete." Arizona and Callie are getting frisky when Mark knocks on the door trying to get Callie up, as she promised to work out with him. Arizona yells at him to go away but he instead decides to burst in, and then gives an approving nod at what he sees going on and says he'll wait before heading back out.
"We seek shelter." Owen and Cristina really are looking for a place and go in to a building that says Seattle Fire Department. Inside it's dusty and a bunch of furniture has been abandoned but it's a really cool space that indeed used to be a fire station, and still has all of the original doors and hardware. Owen clearly loves it but Cristina just looks around listlessly and shrugs when he tries to get her excited about the fireman's pole in the middle of the room. He finally comes over and points out that this might be their house, so he needs her to care. But she only sighs, and he tells the agent they will think about it, obviously a bit frustrated.
"Most important of all, we reproduce." Meredith and Derek are in the baby doctor's office, and she's terribly nervous as she nervously remembers all of the tequila she drank that she fears now might have caused her problems. Derek points out that tequila has actually aided in many a pregnancy, and he tries to tell Meredith that everyone is going to be fine. As the doctor walks in Mere VOs, "Sometimes biology can turn on us, though." Case in point, the doctor tells them seriously that they have a few things to discuss. VO: "Yeah. Biology sucks sometimes." You are a doctor Mere, you JUST figured that out?
Out on the street, Mere is totally indignant that the doctor told her she has a hostile uterus, which is probably what caused her miscarriage and unfortunately could likely do it again. Derek's trying to stay positive, pointing out that there are treatments, but she's hung up on the word "hostile" and bitches and moans her way down the street. When Derek tries to look on the bright side -- it will be so much fun to keep trying to get pregnant! -- she tells him she's late for rounds and heads off on her own.
The Chief is in his office looking at blueprints, and when Bailey comes in he starts explaining to her how bariatric centers are the leading hospital moneymakers and that's kind of a bummer for Seattle Grace Mercy West as they don't have one because they don't have the space. Bailey's impatient and has no time for his musing until she realizes that he is implying that the clinic space could be repurposed, and she warns him that if he tries it she and all of her nurses will chain themselves to the doors. Richard warns her that since the shooting the hospital has just been limping along in survival mode and that they have to raise money; he also then brings up the elusive number one ranking that we thankfully hadn't heard about in a while, which he wants to regain. Bailey finally tells him that she's got Cristina working with her today, and that she can't fight him about this because that's all the fight she has in her for one day. Her loins, they are girded.
Speaking of Cristina, she and Meredith meet up in that way where they wind up walking together and talking as if they were in the middle of a conversation. Meredith tells of her hostile uterus while Cristina tells of househunting with her husband, but both Mere and I noticed, and Mere points out, that at least she's now calling him her husband. Cristina tells her it's a baby step. Lexie then comes up to ask how long April and Jackson are staying, but what she really wants to know is if April is really going to luck into getting Izzie's room when Lexie is still sleeping in the attic with the Christmas decorations. Meredith isn't inclined to go all hard-ass on April since her best friend just died, and Lexie has to defend that she's not a monster, she just finds April annoying. Cristina quips that she finds Lexie even more annoying, but then April comes running around the corner like a cartoon character, her legs almost slipping out from under her as she races to the ER and squeals that a car just ran into a laundromat and multiple traumas are arriving. Lexie gives the older girls a Look and points out that she's not wrong before leaving, and when Mere starts to go she asks Cristina if she is coming too. Cristina tells her, "Baby steps don't include multiple traumas." Fair enough.
Arizona runs up to a totally beaten-down Teddy to try and order her to start sleeping with Mark again so that he'll give Callie and Arizona some space, and Arizona won't then have to feel like she's dating him against her will. Yes, then things will be good for her because her friend is hooking up with him semi-against her will, that's nice. She even graciously adds that it only needs to be twice a week. Teddy refuses on the grounds that she's too tired since she was up dictating charts again. It's a way to manufacture that suddenly Jackson is a basket case with bad handwriting who calls Teddy too often in the middle of the night when her patients aren't actually dying, even though until now he's seemed perfectly capable and his one mistake was knocking over the tray in the OR that aggravated Cristina's PTSD. Arizona points out that at least he's nice to look at, and Teddy concedes that point while Jackson and Alex eavesdrop nearby. Alex of course just laughs and points out that they just called Jackson a dumb blonde. Hey now, that's dumb brunette to you.
April and Lexie are of course working together, which makes it easier for us to watch just how much April aggravates Lexie, albeit unintentionally. Their patient is the lady who was driving the car that plowed into the laundromat, who is played by Frances Conroy. Recently she's probably best remembered as Ruth Fisher on Six Feet Under but I will always cherish her for her small role in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, opining that the poor shouldn't be allowed in museums, and asking the most important question of all: -- "Why is the cork on the fork?" But now she's playing Eleanor, Very Bad Driver, and she cries as she tells the docs that she doesn't remember anything of how her car ended up inside the building. April asks Lexie how they want to divide up the work and Lexie tells her to go ahead and take it all, acting the total martyr and clearly confusing April. Just then a man is wheeled in with Owen riding on the gurney so that he can keep up chest compressions, and Eleanor freaks out because it's her husband, and she's begging to know if he will be okay.
Mere is doing an ultrasound on a woman, Lila, who was just minding her own business, doing her laundry, when the car plowed in to her. She maintains that she can't die like this because she's supposed to be going to Brazil week, and then shows off the one line she's learned in Portuguese, which is, in fact, "Do you have a condom?" She then assumes that Meredith will think she's a slut until she admits that she has Huntington's Disease, a fact she decided not to tell the paramedic because he was too cute to bother with such an unsexy genetic condition. She answers Mere that she isn't showing symptoms yet but that her mother died of the disease, so she was tested for the gene and figures that, as her mom died at 45, she has about 10 years left, five of which she can actually enjoy. Meredith assures her the accident shouldn't affect it but Lila knows that already, she just told Mere all that so that she'll know how important it is to fix her up so that she can still go to Brazil. She knows she's going to die, but she maintains that she can't die doing laundry. I think that's a sound goal for all of us, really.
Arizona and Callie are going to get some quality time without Mark, but with Alex, as they are on the same patient -- a teenager named Jake who is a ballet dancer but unfortunately has bone cancer. His dad is talking about his latest recital and how he "kicked the other kids' asses!" It's really cute, his dad is so proud he could burst, even though he's obviously more of a sports guy and that's his frame of reference. Alex explains that Jake is there for a bone dissection; it sounds like this will tell them how much the chemo has zapped the cancer. Jake just wants to know how long it will be before he can dance again, and his mom explains that he wants to dance in Swan Lake in the spring, which his dad chimes in is like his Super Bowl. They're really sweet, and the casting was quite good in that they look totally realistically like they could be his parents. Callie tells him that they'll know more after the scans, but says she'll have him out of there as soon as possible. Because we've all watched TV before, we all know this means that his cancer is totally not gone, right?
Bailey and Cristina's patient is a middle-aged man with some sort of gastrointestinal issues, and he vomits into a pan that Cristina is holding as Bailey asks him about his pain. He explains that he's in the middle of an experiment, and claims that they shouldn't toss the vomit since it could contain important research. Bailey clearly thinks he's nuts as he goes on to say he's working on a cure for asthma. She orders Cristina to empty the pan and come help her but by now Cristina is giving the contents a funny look, and she eventually says she doesn't think Bailey will want her to do that, as she pulls out a wriggling, white, six-inch-long worm. Oh lord, now I'm in danger of barfing and I have no pan handy. Bailey is not amused but her patient, Ivan, just beams at it proudly.
He goes on to explain his research and how he's applying it to asthma, but Cristina can't get over the part where he eats worms. Though he started out only ingesting them for a month or two he went a full year this time so that he could extract more enzymes. As they talk Cristina throws up his x-rays and honestly, it looks like there's some weird, spindly apparatus in his chest, rather than worms. He's proud to see how much the worms have grown, but what it boils down to is that he has a bowel obstruction that needs surgery. He refuses and wants another option, claiming surgery would contaminate his last three years of research. Bailey can't stand the nonsense, but tells him that Cristina will put an NG tube down his nose, which will be extremely painful, and that if that doesn't open the blockage she's then doing the surgery. He's tickled pink at the non-surgical option, however, and when the doctors leave he starts inspecting his x-rays and scribbling notes.
Once out of his room Cristina opines that he is crazy, but Bailey turns the tables on her and points out that crazy is relative, as some people would say missing rounds with Bailey was crazy, but now she's trusting Cristina to take care of her patient. She asks Cristina if she's crazy for trusting and Cristina assures her she isn't, but can't help but point out that she also hasn't been swallowing worms, a very valid point.
As Arizona, Alex and Callie wait for Jake's scans to show up and they talk about his tumor shrinking, Mark pops in to crow that he got reservations for three at the latest, hot, impossible-to-get-in sushi restaurant. Arizona makes a face and claims suddenly to not eat sushi; when Callie calls her on it she claims to have had a bad experience with a prepackaged cafeteria roll. She urges them to go without her and Mark trots off to change the reservation, but he's not dumb and Callie is clearly annoyed. The inevitable bickering is cut off before it can start, though, when Jake's scans show up, giant tumor and all. Callie sighs heavily that she hates her job sometimes.
Teddy and Jackson have joined Mere at Lila's bedside as she has a ruptured diaphragm and needs surgery. Teddy asks Jackson what they should do and he gives an answer while Lila bats her eyelashes at him, but when Teddy calls on Meredith she has a better way of proceeding and earns the right to scrub in. Jackson is pissed, but his ego can at least be a bit soothed by Lila asking if he could wait by her bedside while she's there. Teddy cracks that she and every other woman in the hospital would like that, and then takes off. Lila asks Mere if she's ever gotten to make out with "that" and Mere tells her she's married, so of course given the theme of the episode Lila asks her if she has kids. Mere's smile becomes a wee bit forced as she says that they are thinking about it.
Outside, the object of Lila's lust asks Teddy if she needs him to scrub in too, but she turns around and schools him that the question should have been, "May I," like he actually wants to scrub in. He stutters that he does want to, but it doesn't ring true and Teddy pointedly tells him she has all the help she needs. Fed up, he calls after her as she walks away and decides to try another, more sexy approach. He starts talking in a low voice, saying he knows he's been off his game but that he needs her to give him another chance... all the while he's stepping closer to her with a sweet little smile, and he assures her that he wants to scrub in. She finally smiles back and tells him okay, rather flustered, but as she walks away the spell breaks and a WTF? look crosses her face instead as she seems to realize she just got worked by the hot resident with bad handwriting.
April and Lexie are going over Eleanor's results -- everything is negative so Lexie suggests another test, but when April asks if she's sure Lexie gets totally defensive and says she is, but April outranks her, so... seriously, this Lexie with a martyr complex from her stay in the psych ward is a giant pain in the ass. April's confused and agrees to do the test, then changes the topic to more domestic issues, and asks what Lexie thinks about a chore wheel? Lexie is steamed at the idea that April might be moving in permanently and April suddenly worries that it's not okay and asks if she should talk to Meredith. Well, yes, she should, and she also should know that already, but Lexie is totally just being a jerk at this point. She says it's up to April if she talks to Mere or not, but warns her that she will hate the idea of a chore wheel.
On cue, Meredith walks up and asks about their reckless driver, and Lexie jumps to the woman's defense before April plows ahead to ask her about the housing sitch. Mere asks if this is about Izzie's room and April gets even more confused while Lexie tries to cut that subject short, and instead brings up the chore wheel -- which of course Meredith thinks is a great idea. April then asks Meredith how things went that morning, and Lexie immediately wants to know what's going on. I have to think that was a little bit of April getting back in a subtle (some might say passive-aggressive) manner because she obviously knew it was a private subject and should have waited until she and Meredith were actually alone to question her. It seems quite like she was just trying to rub it in but on the other hand, after Lexie's treatment, I can't really blame her. When Meredith leaves, Lexie wants to know what's up but an uncomfortable April tells her to ask her sister directly.
Alex is in with Jake while the lady doctors meet with his parents outside, and Jake of course wants to know what's going on. When Alex tells him he should wait for his parents he of course guesses that the chemo failed and they want to amputate his leg. Alex immediately tries to tell him about the amazing things that they can do with prosthetics, but Jake yells at Alex that he doesn't understand that he needs his leg. A soulful guitar starts up as Jake says he can't explain it, but he'll show Alex what he means if they will let him.
As a male singer starts warbling on the soundtrack, we see Jake stretching out while the doctors and his parents watch, and then he starts doing some beautiful contemporary ballet. He's totally joyful as he dances and his parents have tears in their eyes; when he finishes his dad can't contain himself and asks, "You see that? That's my boy!" Jake just looks at them calmly and tells them to build him a leg that will let him do that, while the dumbfounded doctors stare back at him. Clearly they have not spent their summers watching So You Think You Can Dance like the rest of us, to know these crazy fluid ways in which the human body can move.
April, who not two weeks ago was bugging the crap out of Meredith, is now so chummy that she's eating lunch with Mere and Cristina in the basement, and tells Mere that she'll research treatments for her angry ladyparts. They're acting all sorts of chummy when Lexie walks up and when she asks what's going on, Mere tries to claim that it's nothing. Lexie isn't the Lexiepedia for nothing, though, and she guesses that this has to do with wherever Mere went that morning, which Meredith tries to claim was the dentist. When they all giggle conspiratorially at that, Lexie angrily asks what that is code for, and Meredith tells her lightly about her "baby-squishing fibroids." Lexie is chastised and thinks it's awful but Mere brushes it off, and the boys walk up in time to save Mere from a tantrum as Lexie realizes that April knew about all this already. Alex teases Jackson for Teddy thinking he's a "hot piece of brainless ass" but Jackson claims the situation is under control. Alex then asks Lexie for bone cancer treatments but Lexie indignantly asks if her memory is all she's good for, which gives April a chance to tell Alex about a recent story in the news about a possible treatment. Alex happily gives April his fries as a reward, while Lexie's jealousy-fueled continues to burn ever brighter.
Cristina walks in to Owen's surgery, answering a page, and is totally put out when she realizes that he called her in to talk real estate. A flash of panic crosses Owen's eyes and he tries to tell her he also thought she might want to see this surgery on an awesomely bad crush injury, but she can smell his desperation and tells him, "Thank you, but I have to monitor worms."
Alex, Cristina and Arizona are all doing research on ways to save Jake's leg, but it quickly dissolves into an argument between Arizona and Callie about Arizona's not liking Mark. Arizona does a lot of indignant huffing while an annoyed Alex tries to concentrate on his research since they won't let him leave while they duke it out. Arizona claims it's not that she doesn't like him, but with Mark, "What you see is what you get." What does that even mean? She claims it doesn't matter anyway because Callie likes him, and mercifully this is cut off when Alex jumps out of his chair with excitement at finding a treatment that won't involve cutting off Jake's leg
Cristina is looking at Ivan's test results and clearly the tube hasn't worked, since she tells the nurse to book an OR. He begs her for more time and when she doesn't give it to him (on account of his perforated bowl) he asks if she can at least salvage the worms. She's mystified by all this and tells him his life is at risk because of research that's clearly not working out because otherwise he'd have backing from some accredited institute. She tells him, straightforward, to let the worms go, but he grabs her arm and tells her he worked at those institutes and was dead inside, but realized what he was meant to do with is life is this research. He goes on to say that everything else -- his quirks, people finding him strange -- doesn't matter because he knows who he is. He begs her to save the worms and she's clearly a bit affected, what with all of her own soul-searching, not-knowing-herself problems of late, but after a second she brushes off his hand and gets back to the business of prepping him for surgery.
Lila is reading the release form that lists all of the horrible things that could go wrong during her surgery, and when she goes to grab the pen her hand starts to spasm and she can't grasp anything. Mere is very serious and asks when that started, and when Lila tries to brush it off Mere stays on her. Lila admits it's been a few months and Mere tries to convince her that the doctors can help, but Lila tells her she already knows how it will go from having seen her mom through it. And it sounds hellacious -- slurred speech, followed by trouble walking, difficulty eating, seizures, memory loss, and dementia. She's trying to keep her cool but is starting to cry as she says screw going to the doctor, she's going to Brazil.
Meredith goes in to see Richard, who is obsessed with marketing the hospital and asks if Derek would consider his face on a billboard. Thankfully, Meredith is aghast at the cheesy shot of him with the tagline, "Where doctors are your friends." They really should add, "Where doctors drive recklessly." "Where the doctors carry on personal conversations in front of patients." "Where doctors will make you feel uncomfortable while we bicker in the open." She finally gets his mind off of the billboard when she asks him if he thinks Ellis ever tried to tell him about the Alzheimer's, back when she was still working at the hospital. He immediately says no, but Meredith presses that maybe she tried to tell him but he didn't realize it? He finally admits that he supposes that is possible, and asks her if everything is okay, since this is all rather pointed and out of the blue. But Meredith says it's fine, and she actually sounds sincere about it even though she's obviously got a lot on her mind. Before she leaves she does admit she'd never go to a hospital that put pictures of their doctors on billboards.
As Bailey and Cristina wheel Ivan to surgery, Bailey congratulates her on her good work, since she realized he needed surgery right away. Bailey tells her she can scrub in if she wants to but at the look of panic on Cristina's face she quickly adds that she could just observe, and that no one will make her do anything she doesn't want to. Cristina thinks about it for a moment, gazing into the OR, and finally admits she's not ready. It clearly took some effort for her to admit it outright, but she also genuinely thanks Bailey for asking -- I do think she's the first person to ask and not just assume what would be best. Bailey understands, though she's obviously a bit sad, and then goes inside to deal with the worms.
Callie explains to Jake and his parents how they will take out the cancerous portion of his bone, treat it with high doses of radiation for 30 minutes, and then put it back in. His mom asks if the cancer will come back and Callie admits that amputation is the less risky option, but that if they do this they will monitor him closely, and if the cancer returns they will then do the amputation. I was about to throw out, what does he have to lose? Then I realized, well, his life, I suppose, if the cancer spreads, but honestly it seems like a decent solution to try out, at least. When his mom asks if this is done a lot they have to admit that it's only ever been done a few times in the world. They talk about the risks, and finally Jake asks Alex what he would do -- I know they bonded when Alex arranged his dance, but it comes a little bit out of left field. Regardless, it's a sweet moment and it gives Alex a chance to be something other than the complete jackass he's been of late. He tries to tell Jake it's their decision but Jake presses, and Alex admits that if this were his arm and he couldn't do surgery, he would do anything he could to keep it.
April and Lexie get Eleanor's latest round of tests back, and everything is normal. Eleanor knows this isn't necessarily a good thing, as it gives no reason as to why she'd black out and plow a vehicle into a laundromat. She can see the cops waiting to take her statement, and though Lexie tries to explain it away she frets about going to jail. After a moment, Lexie tells her there is one other test they can do, which will tell them if she fainted before or after the accident.
Out in the hall April asks if she got approval for the test, and actually does try to pull rank to stop it, but Lexie puts on her high-and-mighty pants and snipes that there isn't a chore wheel at work, and if she wants to run the test she'll do it. Unfortunately for her it carries a little less weight than it might, her cutting off April's orders, as she was the one who gave April the idea of pulling rank in the first place. But she's so infuriated with April she can't see anything except trying to prove herself somehow right.
Teddy is working away on Lila and they all discuss what they would do if they were in her shoes -- Teddy would throw a giant, all-expenses-paid party somewhere for all of her friends, and wouldn't care a whit about maxing out all of her credit cards to do it, while Mere would sell off all of her belongings and travel the globe, with Derek welcome to come alone if he wanted to. Jackson obviously still feels like the second-class citizen and needs some attention, so he tells them that there's something sad about the idea of just wandering around and living in hotels. He puts on his most soulful, seductive voice as he continues, "This, though... even if I was going to die tomorrow, I'd still want to do it." He's laying it on way too thick, and doesn't realize his desperation is palpable, because he's too busy trying to seduce Teddy with his eyes over his surgical mask. She looks right at him but drops her gaze, and he goes in for the kill, asking in his bedroom voice if he could try doing the repair himself. Teddy is caught unawares, while Meredith just watches this unfold in disbelief, but after a moment Teddy snaps back to the present and stutters that she's fine before doing it herself, thwarting his plan. She seems rather flustered, but that said, she still didn't give him what he wanted, so he's confused.
Cristina is watching the surgery from the scrub room when the Alarms of Doom start to sound, and she walks in as Bailey gets down to serious work. Cristina seems worried and tries to offer alternatives to Bailey's going right in with suction but Bailey is only worried about saving the guy's life, and not his worms. Obviously he did somehow get into Cristina's head, just like the worms worked their way into his bowels, and she's upset as she sees a bunch of disgusting bile start pouring into a container. I'm upset, too, but that's more because I just ate and I don't like seeing anything that looks reminiscent of vomit in hi-def just after dinner.
As she operates on Jake, Callie congratulates Alex on doing a great job with him, and then pointedly and passive-aggressively tells him she wouldn't have thought he would be good at peds just by looking at him. Arizona rolls her eyes and finally admits she doesn't like Mark, but does it in a way where I feel like she now expects a reward for being big enough to state what was already totally obvious. Callie tells Arizona that she never tried, and because Seattle Grace is a magical hospital that knows to match doctors with patients whose stories somehow parallel their own lives at that moment, she uses Jake as an example: His dad clearly wanted a son who played sports but when Jake wanted to dance, he supported it and learned what there was to love about it. Arizona's thoughtful and mature comeback is to pout, "Mark stares at my boobs." Arizona, seriously, what has happened to you this season!! I want quirky, thoughtful Arizona who can function like an adult! She's spent her life trying to avoid boob-starers to which I say, haven't we all, sister? It's what they do. Arizona only wants Callie staring at her boobs and thinks she shouldn't have to apologize for that. Callie is disgusted that this is what it's come down to, and points out that he stares because they are good boobs. Alex has been standing by as Callie has taken out the section of Jake's bone and once he's got it in a bowl, nearly begs to be able to leave, and Callie tells him distractedly to go hurry.
April and Lexie (who apparently must do everything as a twosome today) take Eleanor to her husband's room, and though he's still got a breathing tube and is unconscious, Owen assures her he'll make a full recovery. She asks about the girl she hit (Lila) and is relieved to hear that she will be okay as well. The other piece of good and bad news she receives is that all of her tests show that she's in perfect shape. He leaves, and Lexie tells her gently that they will tell the police to come back tomorrow so that she has some time with her husband. But guess what? Her husband actually left her three months previously and they are no longer married. The girls are thoroughly confused and listen as Eleanor's voice, like all criminals, goes from wispy and weak to hard. He apparently told her that he needed time to think but she found out a week later that he was living with a woman named Kimmy who sings in their church choir. Why on earth are Other Women always given cutesy names like "Kimmy"? No one ever has an affair with a "Barbara" or "Eileen."
Eleanor was driving past the laundromat when she saw him inside, committing the sin of doing Kimmy's laundry for her when he never did the same in her marriage, and the last straw is when she saw him folding "a pair of hot pink panties." She spits out the words, her face contorted in anger, and April and Lexie have gone from confused to horrified as Eleanor says she's glad Lila is okay (and seems totally insincere about it, like she was just collateral damage) but concludes that she now knows why people call jealousy the "green-eyed monster." Lexie tries tentatively to speak up but Eleanor cuts her off and says, rather matter-of-factly, that she knows it's awful to unload on them but that people must do it all the time, what with doctor-patient confidentiality. Lexie tries to stay calm as she stutters that that only applies to medicine, but Eleanor has an edge to her voice as she orders that no, they are required to keep her secrets. April finally finds her voice to correct that no, that actually would be lawyers.
Jackson starts to change in the locker room and has just pulled off his top (helloooooo!) when Teddy walks in looking for him. When she turns to leave he decides to use every chiseled inch of what God gave him for his cause, and he smoothly tells her to stay, what does she need? I'm not complaining, but at the same time it wasn't that long ago that he was complaining about being a pretty face and told his tale of having worked harder than everyone else to prove his worth was in his brain, not just his abs. Though my, those are some worthy abs. But this little move of his is all Teddy needed, and she tells him that she wasn't sure if she was making stuff up but now she knows. She walks up to him and he puts on his Concerned Face, which quickly turns to Confused Face when she names a procedure she's doing tomorrow and orders him to tell her how she should start. He regains his composure enough to stutter an answer and she keeps shooting questions at him about the procedure, rapid-fire, until he's given her a lot and she cuts him off. She says she's relieved that he's more than the pretty face he makes himself out to be, and then reminds him that he knocked over a tray in the OR and has awful handwriting, but neither of those are fireable offenses. Trying to flirt his way into the OR, however, very much is, and she could in fact have him fired this second. While a moment before he'd made sure he was standing quite close to her so she could admire his glory, he now starts to seem uncomfortable and abashed. She tells him she won't report him this time, but orders him to put his shirt back on and get back to work. After she storms out he's suitably chastised, but also pissed. At himself, or because a lady didn't crumble under his charm offensive? We'll never know.
Cristina is working away in a lab when Meredith finds her; it turns out she is trying to save the worms from all of the fluids that came out of her patient earlier. Sweet, but oooooooh, it's nasty too. Meredith sits down and rolls up her sleeve as she announces that she needs Cristina to take her blood so that she can be tested for the Alzheimer's gene. Cristina is clearly surprised but Meredith continues, trying to sound flip, asking what's a little bit of Alzheimer's when her uterus is already hostile? Cristina is traumatized, but hasn't lost her wits completely, and is obviously not as sure as Meredith about this, pointing out that this is more than a baby step. But Mere just tells her to do it before she changes her mind and, because they are besties and soulmates, Cristina does, and the two exchange a serious look before Mere turns and gazes out the window.
Lila is recovering from surgery and reading a book on Brazil when Mere trots in, a smile on her face and a bottle of pills in her hand. She gives them to Lila to help with her hand but warns her that she has to see her own doctor when she gets home. Lila looks skeptical but after a bit more nudging she agrees to go, though I'm not entirely sure I believe her, but they have a nice moment. But, we probably will never see Lila again and this was to help Mere face her own biological demons, so she's served her purpose. Mere VOs: "Biology says that we are who we are from birth.
"That our DNA is set in stone. Unchangeable." Ivan is out of surgery and Bailey tells him that there were complications, but he will be fine as long as he quits his worm habit. After she leaves, Cristina reaches in to her pocket and pulls out a jar containing the worm bits, and gently tells him that the surgery destroyed them all. He starts to cry, and after she gives him a moment he asks how long it will be until he's completely healed. Cristina thinks he's nuts and doesn't disguise that in her voice as she tells him point-blank that he could die if he tries this again. But Ivan is fired up, and says that would only be if he made the same mistakes before he starts talking about all of the different things he could try. Cristina cuts him off and instead asks why he would want to put himself through this again. It's time for her own Wise Patient Lesson, and he tells her that he loves what he does more than anything else, and that if you find something you love to do that much, you don't let go, you just throw yourself in even deeper. My goodness, this could pertain very closely to her own situation now, couldn't it? She gives an infinitesimal shake of her head like he's crazy, but something tells me that he got through to her, or else she wouldn't have tried to save those worms.
"Our DNA doesn't count for all of us, though. We're human. Life changes us." Duh, Meredith. Callie is happily shaking hands with Jake and his parents, as they just outsmarted his biology to help him keep his leg. Arizona is gazing at her from the hall when Alex comes up, and after he gives her some test results he adds that Mark risked his own life to save Alex when Alex was sleeping with the girl he loved. "That's not a guy without a soul." He adds that maybe he is an ass who stares at boobs, but whatever. Arizona's face goes from thoughtful to grossed out, and it only gets worse as Alex warns her that she might not like the staring, but that's what men DO, and that even he does it because she's got nice boobs. May this be the last we hear on that subject -- I feel like this storyline has been even more high school than usual.
"We develop new traits. Become less territorial." Eleanor is spending her last few non-handcuffed moments telling the cops what happened while April and Lexie watch from a distance, and Mere comes in and joins them to gossip about reckless-driver-turned-psycho-killer. When April thanks goodness that her plan to kill her husband failed, Lexie actually still stands up for the woman, pointing out that she was heartbroken from her husband leaving her for a younger model. Mere's surprised, but Lexie thankfully cuts her off and blurts out the real problem -- that she's been a bitch all day to April (yes) because of Meredith. Wait, what? I get that it was rude to flaunt that they had a secret, but Lexie really is Ms. Oversensitive these days. April gets nervous and tries to leave but Lexie tells her to stay, and then proceeds to yell at Meredith about how she gave April Izzie's room and will talk to her about her doctor's appointments, all while Lexie went crazy, Alex left her and Mark slept with Amy, claiming that's why she's now relating to crazy Eleanor.
Meredith dismisses a grateful April, and then finally tells Lexie about the miscarriage and how April was there when it happened and that's why she knows. Lexie drops her head, already sorry, but Mere goes on that she knew Mark slept with Amy but that she also never has any idea of what is going on between him and Lexie, so she didn't think Lexie cared, and then finally tells her sister that she sat by her bedside for 36 hours while she slept in the psych ward, so she is very much not alone. Lexie starts to cry as Mere tells her with a smile that she's not crazy, she's great, and I sincerely hope that it sticks because I like Lexie but her complex about having been committed was getting a little out of control.
"We stop competing." Callie and Mark are on their way out when Arizona decides to be an adult, and calls after them that the plans have changed, and Mark is taking her out instead. Mark asks if this is to make up for the fact that she doesn't like him and Arizona figures Callie told him, but she didn't, Mark figured it out all on his lonesome because he has half a brain and Arizona was anything but subtle about her seething distaste for him. Why does everyone on this show think they're being so sneaky when they're being loud and obvious about every emotion that they have, every second that they have one? Mark agrees but tells Arizona she's buying, and a relieved Callie kisses her and thanks her. As they walk off, Mark asks if she still wants Italian, and she tells him to move his eyes back to her face. Wait, wasn't this all about sushi? Don't waste a good sushi reservation, people!
"We learn from our mistakes." The lodgers are once again having group bathroom time but Lexie kicks out the boys so that she can have some alone time with a petrified April. She immediately tries to offer Lexie the room but Lexie cuts her off and points out that she admitted she wanted to drive a car over her earlier, so she can totally have the room. But she does put down her foot about the chore wheel, saying if one goes up, she'll kill her. April laughs, but her eyes show she knows Lexie's not entirely joking.
"We face our greatest fears." Meredith is reading in bed when Derek gets home, and they have some kissy time but he realizes something is up, and she finally admits that she's getting tested for the Alzheimer's gene. Without any hesitation, he tells her, "Don't." She thinks they should know, and points out that if it turns out she can have a baby she could then get Alzheimer's and wind up not recognizing it or worse, she'd pass it along to them, and Derek would wind up having to care for both an invalid wife and child. But Derek is dead serious that he doesn't care and he doesn't want to know. When she admits the lab already has her blood he tells her what the plan should be -- they have lots of sex, they either get pregnant or they don't, she'll either get Alzheimer's or not, but they will just live their lives and enjoy themselves. "Whatever happens, happens." She looks quite worried at this idea, but finally smiles and agrees, and they resume kissy time. Since she pointed out that her blood is already at the lab, I totally wonder if she's going to succumb to curiosity and find out the results anyway, but that will be a story for another episode if it comes to pass. VO: "For better or worse, we find ways to become more than our biology.
"The risk, of course, is that we change too much, to the point we don't recognize ourselves." Owen walks up some stairs that turn out to be the ones in the old fire house, and Cristina is waiting and jumps up when she sees him, shouting, "Welcome home!" while trying to pour the champers into two plastic cups. She tells him that she bought the place that day -- they're now home. It's a little bit forced but she's obviously trying really hard, which is awesome. Owen is definitely overwhelmed and just stares at her while Mere's VO continues: "Finding our way back can be difficult. There's no compass, no map." Owen finally admits he doesn't know what to say and Cristina points out, "Our house has a fire pole in it. What else is there to say?" I keep wondering where the fire pole goes, since from the outside it looked like there were stores built into the ground floor of this building, but I'm going to figure it's their garage or entryway and stop strangely obsessing about that point like I have since I first saw this on a week ago. Owen is still rather confused, especially given her compete apathy that morning, so Cristina explains that she honestly doesn't care where they live but he really does, and he loves this place, "And I love you." My heart is as warmed as freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies and obviously so is Owen, who grabs Cristina into a passionate kiss as Mere wraps up: "We just have to close our eyes, take a step, and hope to God we'll get there."