You Can't Have Too Many Dead Moms

S03E23

Fresh off the news that she's infertile, Addison ends up helping to deliver the surrogate's baby, and then puts all of the potential mothers and fathers in their places so that they remember that the two lives are important. Mother and baby ultimately end up alive and well, and the surrogate is going to let all the would-be parents be a part of the baby's life. And as for the motley group of doctors there, it turns out they all have complicated friendships, lives, and loves just like they do up in Seattle; it's just that the weather is sunnier. As Addison leaves, she's offered the conveniently empty ob/gyn office they have available, and she ponders it while flirting with super-hot Tim Daly. Back up North with the dysfunctional doctors we know and love, things are rocky. Crush goes into surgery, and they discover that she can speak three additional languages. The surgery is successful and her bleeding is stopped, but she is heartbroken to realize that she didn't regain any of her memories. Alex is there the whole time, however, and helps her through it even though he can't seem to maintain any semblance of a normal relationship with anyone for whom he has feelings. Speaking of non-normal romances, Burke and Cristina move forward with the wedding plans. He seems to be getting worried about the fact that she meant it when she said she didn't want a big wedding, and along with Mama being around and buzzing in his ear all the time, he finally snaps. He sends the mothers away, Cristina finds a dress, and they somehow both end up unexpectedly happy and calm. I'm sure that will be temporary. Izzie assures Callie that she's fine being in a wedding with her, but then breaks down with George and basically begs him not to leave the hospital, which ends in them making out. But the worst news is saved for last: Susan's complications continue to get worse, until they need to rush her into surgery. Meredith has the task of having to tell her father that his wife is dead, and he responds by slapping her and basically blaming her for what happened. She copes by doing tequila shots with Izzie and Alex later, which Derek sees them doing from the window; he ends up walking away instead of going inside. So just when it looked like Meredith's life was finally starting to come together and be a little bit happy, it begins to fall apart again just about as horribly as possible.

If all of the establishing shots are to be believed, this show is taking place, oh, approximately six blocks from my apartment where I am currently writing this recap. There's something kind of weird about that, that's for sure.

Francie and Addie are sitting in what looks like the reception area. Addison is still in shock over the infertility bomb that was just dropped, and is sort of mumbling in disbelief to the room at large. Francie just checks her watch, and as Addison mumbles about, "what the dream would be if I couldn't have my dream," she answers imploringly, "Empty office... " Addie finally snaps out of it and asks what they're doing, since she thought they were doing lunch. Francie informs her that they're doing what she does when she gets depressed, and asks Addie what time she has. Addison is back to mumbling, trying to tell herself that not only is she okay with the results, but that it's actually a good thing. It's quite unconvincing. Amy then walks in and takes a seat, asking what time it is. Addison comments, "You people are obsessed with time," and looks at her nails while the other two stare at the door. One of them comments, "here he comes," and they suddenly look busy with magazines. My screen is then filled with a naked male torso with some of the biggest nipples ever, and though I gather from their reactions that I'm supposed to be all hot and bothered, I'd really just like him to put on a shirt. But Francie and Amy practically lick their lips while staring at Piz, and he clearly loves the attention and takes a moment to lovingly wax his board. Not like that, you sickos, he's really using wax on the surfboard that he's carrying! I'd like to take a moment, as a SoCal native and resident of Santa Monica, to say that this is absolutely what takes place in all offices in this town and for that matter, anywhere near a beach. Amy tells him to have a good surf, and he heads out for his surf/lunch break. As Francie sighs, Addison laughs at them and says they should be ashamed. But Francie just tells her to admit she feels better, and as she's saying it to someone who spent months drooling over her hot intern, I think she doesn't have much right to judge them. (Well, except that Alex is far better looking.) Amy adds that there will be another show in an hour. "And it's WET!"

Back up in Seattle, Crush is asking Derek what's up with her brain bleeding and them just noticing now. (A fairly valid question.) He tells her it could be either from the accident or it could be a result of one of the surgeries. She calls him on holding some information out of his answer, so he takes a breath and tells her she is going to have to be awake during the surgery, and that it's fairly dangerous. I'd think that it went without saying that any surgery on one's brain is dangerous, but I guess this is even more than usual. She asks him if she might potentially get her memory back, and he cautiously tells her that there is a chance, but it's a long shot. Unfortunately, she's already too excited at the idea.

Also unfortunate is that Susan is back in the hospital. Meredith goes into her room to find Bailey checking her out, and explains to Mere that she's got a fever and a slight murmur. Thatcher is extremely worried, but Susan reassures him that everything will be fine and adds, "At least it's not the hiccups." The doctors speak to each other and figure it might be from the endoscopy, and decide to run some tests. They explain to Susan that if those tests come back positive, she'll be admitted to the hospital to be given antibiotics via IV, but that it's no big deal. She and Thatcher exchange some kisses at the news.

Crush is taking her daily shuffle down the hall, and Alex finds her and chastises her for not waiting. She points out that she's going nuts just sitting in her room -- I guess with Addison gone there's less gossip to follow? Or at least less gossip openly talked about for all and sundry to hear. He assumes she's nervous about the surgery and reassures her what we all know, that Derek Shepherd is the best and greatest and most fantabulous and miracle-working surgeon in the history of man. Fine, so maybe I added a bit, but it's been said so many times I do think this is what anyone means when they say he's "the best." That's not what she's upset about, however; she can't hold her baby since she's in the incubator so the nurses told her to talk to her. But without the handy go-to of memories, she's got nothing to say. She doesn't even remember what it's like to be outside, and finally voices her excitement that she might get her memories back. He tells her there's no guarantee but she assures him that a chance is better than nothing. I suspect that comment will be coming back to haunt her later, as generalizations generally tend to do to TV characters.

Taye and Amy are walking down the hall and he lets her know that Paul, formerly known as Mr. Flaccid, has a hormone imbalance which is what has been affecting his sex drive. He still wants sex and just can't do anything about it. Hmm, sounds like my social life sometimes. They're going to run more tests to find out what and how serious it is, and she deduces it might be a while until he can help Ms. Horny "take the edge off." Taye advises her to try out swimming, which is easier on the knees, and Amy laughs. Because being sexually frustrated and unfulfilled is funny stuff!

Addie wanders into Tim's office, appropriately decorated with jars of exotic herbs and whatnot lining the walls, and announces, "So, you're the quack." He defends that he went to med school, is a licensed herbalist and spent five years in China studying alternative medicine. With his decidedly Abercrombie and Fitch wardrobe, I'm surprised that he's admitting all that since it makes him seem much older than I think he wants his wardrobe to make someone believe. He challenges her to come in and has her lie down on the table to prove he's not a quack. Hmm, there's some things I'd like to have him prove to me while I'm lying on a table... no, Lauren! Thoughts on the recap! She says she's not taking her clothes off, which I guess is a perfectly valid personal choice, but he points out he didn't ask her. Once she's down, he takes her hand and starts massaging it and feeling around. From that, he can tell she has tension in her shoulders and above one eye, caused by her blocking some "serious emotion." Without warning, he picks something up and taps her face -- voila! It's an acupuncture needle now sticking delicately out of her skin. She's protesting, which I would be too if someone did that to me with no warning, but he laughs it off and tells her it doesn't hurt and to stop saying "Ow." He then leaves her there to breathe, and warns her she'll experience a rush of emotion -- her psychic pain being released. She looks doubtful, even more so with needles all over her face like she's a really good looking and non-evil Pinhead. Naturally, because she's our plucky heroine who has been trying not to let her guard down, she protests that she's not feeling anything but her face eventually crumbles and she starts to cry against her will. She announces, "I hate L.A.!"

By Lauren S

Meredith is sitting on a bench outside the hospital studying when Derek finds her and asks about Susan. She assures him she'll be fine and when he points out that she should tell him, she said she would if it were serious, "In a very letting you in kind of way." It's already quite a difference from the sharing of every single detail of the week before -- girlfriend really needs to learn how to find a balance. She said it's weird, though, that she and her father are almost talking, but she seems upbeat and okay with it, which is a really nice breakthrough of the past three seasons. Which... well, we'll just deal with later events when they come up. She asks Derek about the trailer, and he admits it's freezing and offers to bring her dinner later. She calls him on using her for central heating, and he agrees it's for that and other things, but they smile at each other. I guess maybe they've just decided to forget about that pesky unfortunate sex-and-unhappiness of before as well.

Crush's brain is exposed in front of McDreamy, and I'm suddenly whisked back to approximately the age of six, when I walked in on my elderly babysitter watching some sort of medical program on TV where someone's skull was open to do some sort of brain surgery, and I embarked on quite a few years of terror at the idea of being awake during surgery and of having my skull opened up in that manner. He stimulates various spots in her brain as Alex holds up flashcards and asks her what she sees. It turns out she's had French, Spanish, and German stored up in there as she ends up speaking in all three languages without a hitch. Unfortunately, she then starts to bleed and alarms begin to buzz all over. Alex hopefully asks if they can continue a little longer to see if they can find her memory, but Derek points out she'll be dead if they don't stop the bleeding and he gets to work.

In another operating room a thousand miles south, Grace is panicking about why everything is happening so fast with her labor. As if to prove a point the baby begins to crown and they deliver a little girl, but with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck. Grace panics because the baby isn't crying, and Addison tries to reassure her as she hands the baby off to Kellerman. Addie comments that at least Grace isn't bleeding and right on cue, blood starts pouring out of her nether regions onto the floor and everyone starts to freak out anew. They need to put Grace under and she protests, but fortunately the baby lets out a cry and so she is put under right away.

Outside, the various would be dads and mom are waiting anxiously and crowd Addison when she comes to report what has happened. She explains that Grace lost a lot of blood and the baby is on oxygen but that they both will be fine. It turns out these aren't the pertinent details, and she's asked about the paternity test. Disgusted, Addison repeats what she told them and points out that there wasn't time to worry about paternity tests what with having to save Grace and her baby's lives. When they ask to see the baby, she goes totally mama-bear on them and says that they can't until she says it's okay, and as an afterthought, she tells them that it was a girl before she goes back inside to her patient.

Alex is in Crush's room doing paperwork when she wakes up. He doesn't notice at first since she doesn't say anything, but when he sees her eyes open he happily tells her that she did great and that she knows all sorts of languages. She's got a bandage wrapped around her head, and I'm so curious to see if within a day she's back to having a full head of hair after having brain surgery, as seems to magically happen so often on TV. She doesn't seem to hear Alex and, about to cry, says that she doesn't remember anything. Alex misinterprets and thinks she means of the surgery, but she's thinking on a larger scale. "The surgery was supposed to... I thought I... What am I going to do? What if I never remember anything?" A tear escapes down her cheek, and Alex takes her hand. I've got no snark in me, even though she clearly shouldn't have gotten her hopes up, because she's just rather heartbreaking right now.

Bailey is back to rightfully reigning over the clinic, and pulls back a curtain to find George lying miserably on one of the beds. Once she establishes that he has no fever, she orders him out but he stops and stutters out a question, asking, "You've been married a long time, right?" She tries to cut him off, but he blindly continues and asks if she's ever had doubts or insecurities. She's Bailey, George, and she's certainly not going to have doubts about kicking your ass for asking her personal questions, especially on work hours, so I'd be quiet. They're interrupted by a nurse asking about discharging someone, and Bailey loses it. She orders the nurse to give the guy an IV first and orders George out of the clinic before storming off, so he takes his chance to pull the curtain and presumably lay down to wallow in self-pity again.

Susan is in a room having gotten antibiotics and looks much better, commenting perkily how miraculous they are. The Chief comes in, at Bailey's request, to explain that she'll be taken to radiology to put in a central line so that she can continue the antibiotics at home, and tells her everything looks good. As they wheel her away, Susan cheerfully suggests to Meredith that she show her dad the cafeteria and Meredith teases her sweetly, "We're on to you, you know."

Bailey pulls another curtain in the clinic to find another man-child, this time Burke, stuttering about how he was looking for privacy. She tells him it's no problem and to take his time, but then he launches into the same question as George, about her being married a while. Before she can answer, he's able to slip in his question about if it matters that one person is more ready than the other to get married. Rather than answer, she calls O'Malley over. She orders the two men to talk to each other and leave her and her marriage out of it, and orders them out of her clinic. Talk about the blind leading the blind.

Francie and Amy enter their office kitchen and find Kellerman moping and, more importantly, blocking the coffee maker. Amy tries to get him to move by bribing him with a cookie. Gee, I wonder if these two might hook up in the future? Good friends, who don't seem to look at each other romantically, both having different but yet similar romantic problems and clearly wanting to find someone who will make them happy? It seems farfetched, but one day it just might work. He tells them that Grace's surgery turned out well and compliments Addison's work, and then lets out a pathetic sigh, so Amy bites and asks him what's wrong. He's got what sounds like a rehearsed spiel ready: "I don't go to hookers, I don't go to strip clubs. I meet women on the internet who want to meet me. So I like them a little younger and a little dirtier. Is that wrong?" He gives a self-deprecating smile, clearly expecting to be reassured that it's not wrong, but in a stunning turn of events that actually makes sense, they tell him to grow up and date someone his own age that he meets in the real world. "Be a man!" Oh, men. They're a dying breed.

It's good to see that whether one is in California or Washington, the stairwell is still a good place to hide when you feel like crap, as Addison is doing now. Tim finds her there, and asks how she's doing. She wipes tears from her face as she tells him she's fine, but the one is usually a dead giveaway that someone is lying about the other. He flirts with her a bit and she tells him to stop, and then makes the mistake of asking what's wrong with it. Everything she's been trying to say she's fine with comes spilling out and she babbles about being out of time and missing her chance and being dried up. She adds that she's wasting time on men and should take up a hobby, like needlepoint, rather than wasting her time flirting with men who just want to get laid. Don't tell anyone, Addie, but I've been able to find time for both, and it's working out just fine for me. Then again, maybe I'm dried up too and don't know it? She realizes that she's been babbling and "telling overly personal information about [my] eggs to strangers." She apologizes and turns to run, but he grabs her and holds her in front of him. Excuse me a moment while I just imagine myself into this little scenario... yum. Okay. He then announces, "I'm going to kiss you. I'm going to kiss you with tongue. I'm going to kiss you so you feel it. Okay?" Well, I'm not sure he needed to spell that out all the way, but in my own imagination I'll edit it out and all will be well. He then does kiss her, and... yum. She clearly thinks the same thing and can't even lift her arms up around his neck, she's so dazed. When they're done she asks why he did it, and he answers, "To remind you that you're not dried up. If you need me to remind you again, let me know... " She's smiling, and the kiss seems to have done the trick.

Things seem to have taken a bad turn for Susan, whom Meredith is examining. She's having cramping and stomach pain, and Thatcher is getting worried. Meredith says it's not serious and they might just need to switch antibiotics, but sounds less sure of herself this time, though Susan also assures him it will be fine.

When Addison ventures from the stairwell back into the hallway, she comes across Nina who asks her to wait. She admits that she knows all of the would-be parents are awful but laments that she just wanted a baby so badly. See how this all works out so nicely? With Addison also wanting a baby and maybe being able to understand the desperation? They're such shockingly parallel storylines. But I still love Nina, and she wins me back a little bit when she says she doesn't care about anything other than the baby being okay, and asks if she will be. Addison seems moved, and tells her that she will be, and Nina thanks her.

By Lauren S

Addison's back in the magical elevator and says hello, asking if anyone is there, and announces herself. An annoyed voice asks, "What." She says hi, still looking up towards the ceiling and finally says that she might be insane or getting some sort of karmic payback for something, but that she wants to apologize to the voice for yelling. The voice tells her, "Okay." She smiles and gets off the elevator, tentatively saying good-bye. I still can't believe I've just recapped a scene with Addison Montgomery talking to an elevator. It makes me nervous about this spin-off.

And holy moley, we get our thirty-seventh commercial break of this hour. ABC was clearly banking on this two-hour special as a prime money-maker.

Ms. Horny is now talking to Amy alone in her office. It's either nighttime or they like to have some serious mood lighting in this clinic. She sadly says that she was really great at just one thing, and that was being Paul's wife. It turns out that when she didn't come home she was with another man, just to prove that she could do it and that someone wanted her. Amy assures her that she was only reacting to the situation and had no way of knowing what was really going on. And while I'm not usually a huge supporter of cheating, I understand where she's coming from. Ms. Horny just asks what to do now and Amy answers, "You do what you were great at. You love your husband." Ms. Horny asks, "You're going to have to tell me that a lot, okay?" Amy smiles and agrees, and we can all rest easy to know that she's not obsolete after all.

Piz walks into Francie's office, letting her know that everyone else has left and that he's going to leave as well, unless of course she wants dinner. It's kind of awkward but sweet, though by no means do I think it's a good idea. The tension is actually visible on both sides of the conversation, and I'm curious if they've actually hooked up before. Well, if doctors are hooking up with younger employees, Addison is going to feel right at home here! She turns down dinner and so he asks her out for another night, and when she says how young he is, he counters, "Koo koo ka choo, Mrs. Robinson!" She admonishes, "You can't use The Graduate as a defense! You can't use a movie made before you were born as a defense!" Trust me, no young surfer ballsy enough to ask out his boss is going to have any qualms about using that, as he showed. He walks towards her and continues to press the issue and their faces get closer and closer until... she announces it's never going to happen, goes around the desk and gets her purse, and leaves, while he smiles at her moxie. This is never going to happen just like Kellerman and Amy are never going to happen, I'm sure.

It looks like where everyone else was at is a bar, and Addie sips a martini and says LA is like New York with a beach. Yes, in every way except not at all other than being a big city on the coast, but whatever floats your boat, Addison. Taye indicates that it's time for Tim to get them refills, and Addie seems to remain oblivious at how he's pointedly getting him to leave the conversation. Once he's gone, Taye tells Addison that Tim is a friend, and she cuts him off to ask why she's receiving a warning about him, and if he's a serial killer or a felon. Or, "Is he secretly my ex-husband's best friend?" But it turns out to not be funny but instead really sad: his wife died eight years before and as Taye tells it, he's a good guy but he can't connect, and he's not going to be there for her.

At the same time, Kellerman and Amy are doing shots at the bar and Looking at each other, which he comments is nice. He then takes her hand and moves in for the smooch, but when she realizes what's happening she pushes him away and tells him, "That's not nice." He's surprised, as he was told to be a man, and though she respects his effort she tells him, "You can't be a man with your friend. Isn't that settling?" Settling, or finding a rewarding relationship with someone who you already know well and who makes you happy, but that's too straightforward for a prime-time television drama. He half-heartedly agrees with her that it's settling.

Back on the couch where Addison and Taye are talking, Francie sits down and cheerfully greets them with, "Hey ex-best friend, hey ex-husband." She's now in an awesome little red dress that maybe she had in the car when she drove from the office to the bar? I won't ask, I'll just admire it. They comment that she's drunk and she announces that soon she's going to want to dance, and then flits away. Once she's gone, Addison asks Taye what happened to them. He didn't cheat, they didn't fight, and nothing was wrong. "Honestly, it was bad, what I did. I have no good reason. I woke up one day, and I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't even a choice. I had a thought, thing you know, I'm burning it all down. I left her. I don't know why. I don't' know why. What kind of a person does that?" ABC is betting it's the kind of person we all want to learn more about and I have to say, of all of them he's probably my favorite of the new characters. Addison just tells him, "Hell if I know, and I did it too," and they both sit and wallow a little bit.

By Lauren S

A street sign brings us back to Santa Monica where Taye is talking with Paul and Ms. Horny. He explains that the MRI came back and showed that Paul has a tumor on his adrenal gland, which is what has been causing his low sex drive. Ms. Horny seems both relieved and horrified, and tries to say cheerful as she asks if it can be treated. It's aggressive and treatment is risky but there's hope, and she begins to cry about having yelled at Paul. She apologizes and tells him she loves him, and he lets out a sigh that he's clearly been holding in for months. Amy and Taye just watch the apology unfold.

And holy moley, we get our thirty-seventh commercial break of this hour. ABC was clearly banking on this two-hour special as a prime money-maker.

At the L.A. hospital, the motley crew of doctors are all at Grace's bedside as she holds her baby. They tell her they need to know what her decision is about who will raise the child. Grace comments that she knows how badly Nina wants this, but Francie assures her that it's about what Grace wants. Francie's still in the great red dress, so either it's now the middle of the night that they all traipsed over there, drunk, or it's the day and Francie needs to invest in some extra outfits so she doesn't have to repeat. They tell Grace they know the paternity, but she doesn't want to know, and only keeps admiring the baby. Despite having said ten seconds ago that they need to know her decision, Addison tells her they don't need to know her decision immediately, but Grace tells them she knows what she wants to do.

Cut to the doctors all waiting in the hallway and watching all of the various potential parents gathered around the baby in the nursery. Grace gave the baby to Nina, on the condition that they will all be a part of her life. They note the baby now has three dads and two moms, which I think seems rife with dramatic problems or comedic results best portrayed on television, one or the other. Francie sadly says that they look like a family, and Taye takes her arm while Addie watches the exchange.

Izzie gets into the elevator, and it must be the end of her shift since she's in a really cute light-green double-breasted coat. The doors open and naturally George is inside, and after hesitating a second she gets on to him. George starts to say something but she cuts him off and announces that she doesn't want him to go and that it's not fair, and that she doesn't want to lose her best friend. She's in a panic and George takes her hand, and she cries into his shoulder. And... scene. Except not, that's my wishful thinking. He holds her and begins to touch her face, and works it around until he can kiss her. After a hot and heavy moment, she pulls away, he says that he can't (though let the record show it was totally him who initiated the moment) and she says she knows. The doors open to show Callie waiting for him, and he grabs her hand and pulls her away as she looks questioningly at Izzie.

Alex walks Crush outside in a wheelchair, and as they walk he tells her that lots of people would kill to have a clean slate like she's got, and so what if she can't remember. She can make new memories, and at that he looks up and notices how beautiful the sky is. She's quiet and just shakes her head, and finally asks a question. "How can you be so... you're so good with me. What's wrong with you that you can't be this good with someone you have feelings for? What happened to you, Alex?" He's silent and then cops out, telling her, "Maybe I don't remember. So what." She doesn't smile, since despite his best efforts at being glib, it's just sad.

By Lauren S

Amy is telling Kellerman about running into her ex at Whole Foods. In terms of being authentically L.A., forget the surfing -- the unexpected ex sighting at the Whole Foods is classic. His is a tale as old as the sun; he didn't believe in marriage and then after he and Amy broke up he took up with a young thing and married her in four months. She tries to laugh it off but her face finally cracks, and Kellerman explains, "It heads off rejection." She asks him what, and he says, "That's why I like the internet." He can't stand being rejected and she agrees, and they drink. It's really a shame the two of them don't just make out already. Come on, Amy, it's clearly in the stars!

Burke arrives at his apartment and finds his mama sitting at the table amidst a bunch of bridal magazines. She greets him but after taking a moment he yells at her for all of her, "I trust you" talk. He says that's her code for saying, "Learn from your mistakes." Before she can respond he argues ferociously that he's not making a mistake, and that Cristina hates change and doesn't know what's good for her. He leads, she follows, and she's grateful. Well yeah, that worked so well with your tremor, you controlling, manipulative, rageaholic. Mama says that she's pleased, and he interrupts again to say he's going to make Cristina happy, and that she's being a good sport about taking this big step and that she will be happy... it takes him a moment and he adds the telling word, "Someday." There's not liking change, and there's your boyfriend forcing you into marriage when clearly it's not something you've ever led him to believe you want. But Burke has a hard time seeing these tiny subtleties. And Mama, who is smarter than he thinks she is, finally answers, "If you are so sure, why are you yelling at me!" They stare each other down, but he doesn't answer.

"...But the strongest of us, the most determined of us, we hold on to the dream." Addison hugs Francie, telling her, "You're ugly and old." Francie says she'll miss her too. As Addison gets in the elevator Francie turns and reminds her, "There is an empty office." Addie says not to tempt her, but Francie just tells her to think about it. Meredith adds, "Or, we find ourselves faced with a fresh dream we never considered." Tim grabs the door as it closes and stands to Addison. "We awake to find ourselves, against all odds, feeling hopeful." If only I still, against all odds, felt hopeful about the direction of this show. Don't go to L.A., Addison! Tim's hot, but we'll miss you desperately especially with all of the nonsense unfolding in Seattle!

She turns to Tim and says she's going to sound crazy, and proceeds to admit that when she's alone the elevator has been talking to her. It's a detail I would definitely keep to myself, but it's a good thing she said something because Pete introduces her to Tilly, the security lady, who can see what's going on in the elevator with a small camera in the wall. Addison chuckles and says hello, and Tilly explains that she gets her kicks where she can. ["I was wrong. Addison's not turning into Ally McBeal, she's turning into Rhoda Morgenstern." - LTG] I wish that Tilly would have spoken up when she saw Addison earlier that morning and warned her how horrible the pleated, high-waisted pants that she's wearing make her look. Tim's not deterred by the pants, however. When it's confirmed that she's going home he asks if she got what she came for, to which she says she honestly doesn't know. He asks, "Do you want me to kiss you again?" Clearly she thinks yes, as she has the "dog looking at a chew toy" look on her face again, but says no, and they banter about horny elevators. People! Tilly is listening to you right now! She finally says she's not interested and then tries not to look at him, but he's smarter than that and as the doors open up he says that she is and gets off the elevator to go about his merry way.

Meredith finishes, "And if we're lucky we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream, is being able to dream at all." Addison drives back up the coast in her awesome red car, and I sigh deeply and fret a while longer about what is happening to good old Grey's Anatomy and all of the characters I love so much who seem to be going so horribly wrong. My true dream is that the ship will start to right itself before this season ends in two episodes. My fingers are tightly crossed.

By Lauren S

Inside, Richard, Bailey, and Meredith walk slowly down the hall, Bailey and Richard looking at her. She's fiddling with her hat and as she walks, Derek rounds the corner behind her and sees the procession. Eyes red, she slowly approaches Thatcher, clearly an emotional wreck. Tears fill her eyes and she shakes her head, and only manages to say, "We did everything we could." He takes one horrified step back and as she shakes her head he protests that she said it was a simple procedure. "It was!" she cries. And with that, he slaps her right across the face. Everyone is stunned and horrified but no one makes a move. Thatcher babbles, "She had the hiccups. It's because she trusted you. I trusted you." At that, she turns and runs, and shakes off Derek when he tries to catch her. And so with this death, the changes in Meredith -- the recovering from drowning, the working to accept her mother's death, the learning how to have someone like Susan in her life -- all of it is shot to hell. When we could have seen some really interesting development after three dark and twisty Meredith seasons, we now get more of the same as even more bad things continue to happen. I'm not even angry now, I'm just terribly disappointed by the direction in which most of these characters are going.

By Lauren S

Meredith voices, "At some point, maybe we accept the dream has become a nightmare." Thatcher continues to cry and babble to himself and finally falls apart.

At Burke and Cristina's, she arrives home to find him alone and having a glass of wine, and no mothers to be found since he's sent them home. She sighs in relief as she dumps her bag and her jacket, and crawls onto the couch to cuddle up to him. He puts his arm around her and she mentions that she got a dress. After a moment, he asks, "You happy?" "Yeah!" she answers, and she sounds actually sincere, but I can't entirely believe that she's happy that she's been browbeaten into a wedding she doesn't want, or rather that she just didn't know she wanted until the Great Dr. Burke showed her that she did. It's just another mystery about this show. She then asks, "Are you? Happy?" He says yes, but doesn't seem entirely sure with his answer. She seems to take it at face value, though, as both of them do with each other, and she smiles. Meredith continues, "We tell ourselves the reality is better."

Back at Meredith's house, Izzie and Mere cheer as Alex walks in the room with limes. They've got a bottle of Meredith's old faithful friend, tequila, and pour three shots. Alex asks what they're drinking to. Izzie: "Friends. Crappy friends." Meredith: Family. Crappy family." They clink and shoot and do it again. Outside, Derek has walked up to the house and hears them, so he goes and watches through the window. He looks sad and serious, and instead of knocking he walks away. "We convince ourselves that it's better that we never dream at all...

By Lauren S