3-2-1 Contact

S03E24

The metaphorical patients of the day are three mountain climbers who arrive battered and frozen. They all feel guilty because they left their friend behind on the mountain to die, because they thought they needed to do so to survive themselves. But then he arrives at the hospital, alive and with an axe in his head. How is this a metaphor, you ask? Well, it's the day of the big intern test, and also the day of Susan's funeral. And Meredith takes a metaphorical axe to the head when Thatcher arrives at the hospital and tells her that she's not welcome at the funeral. In a state of shock, she sits in the intern exam and doesn't fill in a single bubble. And so her friends have to decide whether to leave her behind on the mountain in order to survive themselves. In the end, they pull together and let the Chief know about her problem. He gives her another chance, and she takes the test.

In non-Meredith news, George gets his transfer to Mercy West, but everyone except for Callie thinks it's a bad idea. Izzie follows him around begging him to stay all episode, until she finally tells him she's not remotely in love with him, so there's no reason for him to leave. Callie notices all their moping around, and is getting pretty suspicious. Addison, who just found out last week that she can't have a baby, is suddenly surrounded by pregnant ladies. First, Joe and his boyfriend ask Addison to examine the pregnant young woman who is considering letting them adopt her baby. And then Adele shows up in the hospital after a minor accident, where she drops the bomb that she's pregnant. Meanwhile, Alex discovers that Crush has recovered her memories. It turns out she hated her old life, so she decided to try to keep it a secret. It's one day before the day the Chief will make a recommendation to the Board about who should be new Chief of Surgery and who should be the new Chief Resident. Bailey assumes she's a shoo-in for Chief Resident, until she realizes the very talented Callie is also going for the job. It's also one day before the wedding of Burke and Cristina; she still hasn't written her vows. The episode ends with the separate bachelor and bachelorette parties. You won't be shocked to hear that Derek almost lets himself get picked up by a hot woman. You will be shocked to hear that the hot woman may very well be Meredith's yet-to-be-seen sister.

Previously, the Marquis de Sade took over the show and decided that Meredith hadn't suffered enough. So he killed off her new stepmother Susan and then made Meredith's dad slap her and blame her for Susan's death. Also, Richard's wife left him, George slept with Izzie, Burke and Cristina planned a wedding, Addison learned she couldn't have a baby, and Crush continued to suffer from amnesia.

It's a rainy morning in Seattle. Meredith is getting dressed in her bedroom -- black bra, a simple black dress laid out on the bed. Voiceover: "A surgeon's education never ends. Every patient, every symptom, every operation, is a test. A chance for us to demonstrate how much we know, and how much more we have to learn."

Cristina is in the kitchen with Alex and Izzie. She's quizzing them using Callie's flash cards. Cristina has apparently forced them to study all night long, and Izzie is whining about the lack of sleep and coffee. Alex gets a question right, and Cristina tells him to ask her one. Alex worries that George is missing their study session, but Cristina thinks it's no big deal: "Oh, you're kidding, right? We have Callie's cards, but George has..." Izzie: "George has Callie." Alex asks Cristina for the most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients. Cristina snaps out a couple of answers, both of which are wrong. Meredith walks through the kitchen and tells them, "The most frequent cause of diarrhea in hospitalized patients is C. diff., which can lead to toxic mega-colon, perforations, sepsis, and death. That's what killed Susan." While she's talking, she pours some coffee, and then marches out of the room. Izzie asks Cristina if Meredith is okay, and Cristina says that she's fine. Alex: "Dude, she's messed up." They agree that she is, indeed, messed up, since her fake mother died just as Meredith was getting to know her. They also confirm, in case you were in doubt, that the intern exam is that afternoon. Meredith will be going to the funeral and then coming back to take the exam. Cristina also tells us that Meredith has studied for the exam, and "just needs to be left alone." And then, Cristina forces Izzie to answer a medical question before giving her any coffee. I see the Marquis found a worthy pupil during his time with the show.

In their hotel suite, George is answering the question that Cristina just asked Izzie. Callie tells him the question was too easy and then looks through some papers to find him a harder question. Instead of a question, she finds an envelope containing the notice that he was accepted in the Mercy West residency program. She clearly knew he applied, and is thrilled that he was accepted. George is a little more hesitant, noting that his acceptance is contingent on satisfactory results on the intern exam, and also that he hasn't yet told the Chief that he's leaving. But that doesn't stop Callie from doing a little song and dance to celebrate his success. She thinks it's good for him because it's a smaller program that will enable him to get more surgeries, and she think it's good for them, because "when I come home and ask you how your day went, you can actually tell me because I won't already know." She gives him a very happy kiss and hug, and somehow fails to notice the painfully guilty look on his face.

At SGH, a herd of people exit the elevator, leaving a distracted looking Meredith standing there alone when Derek gets on. They exchange whispered greetings, and he tells her, "Look, I know this is an impossible day for you, so I just want to say one thing." You're dumped? No, that's not it: "I brought a black suit, just in case." They exchange a tiny smile, and she thanks him but tells him she needs to do the funeral by herself. Derek's pager goes off, and he exits the elevator. As he leaves, he turns to her and says, "If you need me, let me know." But as he's speaking, the elevator doors close in his face.

Burke turns a corner, running after Cristina, who is still studying flashcards. She asks a medical question and then tells Burke not to answer it. He's chasing her because the minister needs to see her vows before the wedding. Which shouldn't be a problem, because nobody in their right mind would schedule a wedding until at least a week after this huge exam. Would they? It turns out they would. In fact, the wedding is tomorrow. Cristina tells Burke he has exactly five seconds to discuss anything wedding-related. He tells her that his best man cancelled on him. Cristina, sounding very sincere, rubs his shoulder and tells him how sorry she is. And then he asks about her vows, and she tells him the five seconds is up. He keeps pressing, but all she'll say to him in response is "test day." As she walks away, his beeper goes off.

Addison walks up to the assembled group of Derek, Mark, Burke, and Callie. Addison thinks it's a bad sign that they've all been paged. Mark thinks that Richard might just want to break the news that he's decided to appoint Mark as new Chief of Surgery. Bailey walks up and disabuses him of that notion -- Richard's not making his recommendation for Chief of Surgery and Chief Resident until the day. Instead, everyone was paged because some lost mountain climbers were found and are being brought to the hospital. The Chief walks up to them and gives them the news that three of the four were found. He designates Bailey and Callie as the trauma team, and Bailey remarks that she wishes they had interns that day. Of course, it's total news to the self-absorbed Mark that the interns are not available that day. Richard tells them that not only are they not allowed to ask an intern to do anything, they have to reject any intern who tries to do actual work as opposed to studying for the test.

In the neonatal ward, Alex is holding Crush Jr. while Crush drills him. For the test. Alex comments on just how cute the baby is, and Crush tells him, "You think? She's got my dad's nose, though. Girl's got to have a big personality to pull off that nose." Alex looks at her and points out that she seems to have remembered her father. She gets all evasive and claims that she doesn't really: "I have no idea where that came from." She doesn't seem to want to discuss it, but Alex is excited that her memory is returning. I have to say, the first time I watched this I knew she was lying, and I thought it was bad acting or bad writing (or a combination). But I realize now that it was bad music. The actor playing Crush is actually doing a fine job of playing this as though maybe she's scared to get her hopes up, or scared that her memories will be unhappy, or scared that she's been caught at something. But the music gets all dark and dramatic, and with that sound in the background it seems completely clear that she's lying.

By LTG

Burke, Richard, and Derek stand in the ambulance bay, waiting for the mountain climbers. Richard asks Burke if he's ready. Burke: "I'm always ready for surgery." Derek: "I think he's talking about the wedding." Burke tells them that things are fantastic, "aside from the fact that Cristina hasn't written her vows, my best man just cancelled, and it's still raining." Derek: "He's not ready." The Chief thinks you're never ready; he wasn't, but as soon as he saw Adele walking down the aisle.... He trails off, clearly still sad about the end of his marriage. And then he asks if Burke has selected a new best man. A second best man, as it were. Burke says, "Actually, Chief..." but gets cut off by Derek: "You can't be his best man." Derek thinks it would be unethical. Do the people at this hospital even know what that word means? In any case, Derek thinks that since Burke is trying to get Richard's recommendation for the Chief of Surgery position, it wouldn't be right for Burke to kiss up to him by making Richard the best man. Burke: "Actually, Derek, I was going to ask you." Derek: "Ask me what?" To move in with him. To be his best man, you moron. Derek seems pleasantly surprised, even though he does joke that it must be because everyone turned Burke down. He asks what he's supposed to do. I guess if his best friend was Mark, a man who is clearly never going to be married, he might be a little hazy on the idea of what a best man is supposed to do. Although he must have had one of his own when he got married. In any case, Richard tells him that the traditional task is to throw a bachelor party. Derek suggests drinks at Joe's after work. Burke: "I knew you were the man for the job." The ambulances pull up with the first of the three mountain climbers. And the makeup department went to town on this episode -- the limbs and noses on these guys are all frozen black with frostbite. Blech. Commercials.

The last climber arrives with a spine injury. Izzie and George find themselves watching together, alone, and she asks him if he's okay. He tells her that he was accepted at Mercy West. You can tell that she knows she's supposed to say something congratulatory, but she just can't do it. Instead, she asks if he's going to go. George: "I kind of have to now." Izzie just looks at him. And then Bailey catches the interns not studying and gives them hell. She's wheeling some device down the hall, and as she advances, Cristina and Meredith slowly back away from her. She tells us that the five inters with the lowest scores on the test will be cut from the program. You mean there are more than five interns at this hospital? Bailey goes on to ask them, "But are you studying for this test? No, you're not. Are you helping out in the E.R.? You are most certainly not! Are you getting the hell out of here before I throw you out? I think ya are!"

Alex chases after Derek in the hall. Derek asks him if he's not supposed to be studying. Alex just wants to ask if the surgery Derek performed on Crush last week could have restored her memory. Derek doesn't think so, but is pleased when Alex tells him that he thinks her memory is returning. Derek suggests some kind of test they can run, and then returns to his frozen patient. On the way, he runs into Addison, telling her, "Nice work, Dr. Montgomery." She thanks him, while humbly acknowledging that she was just directing traffic. Derek: "I was being sarcastic." Addison: "Oh, like brain surgery's so impressive." Derek: "It is, actually." And then Joe and his boyfriend Walter call Addison over to them. She asks if everything is okay, and they tell her that they came especially to consult with her. She jokingly asks them to confirm that they're not pregnant, but it turns out that they are. Or at least, their potential birth mother is pregnant. Joe tells Addison how quickly their adoption application turned into a real live pregnant woman. Walter: "I guess having a baby is easier than we thought." Addison hides her pain at hearing this. And then Joe tells Addison that the potential birth mother is in Seattle, and they'd really like Addison to examine her. Addison tells them to schedule an appointment, and Joe tells her that they can't really wait, since the young woman in question has to get on a bus back to Portland that evening. Also, did they mention that she's standing right behind them? No, I don't think they did.

By LTG

Izzie follows George down the hall and tells him that he shouldn't transfer to Mercy West. Not because she's allegedly "in love" with him, but because he's the glue that holds out dysfunctional little band of interns together. But George tells her that he can't stay there and keep seeing her every day. They're kind of standing in a crowded hallway speaking in a normal tone of voice. Worst cheaters ever.

In Crush's room, Alex is telling her that he's not leaving until he tells her what's going on with her memories, even if that means missing his test. She finally tells him that all of her memories came back about three days earlier. It's revealing that Alex's question is "and you didn't tell me?" Basically, she didn't tell him because she was kind of ashamed -- she was pregnant and in a lousy marriage to a really nice guy who made her live all lone on a mountain or something. So she left him to spend some time in the big city, and was caught in the ferry accident. Alex seems furious with her for having left her husband. He's way too caught up in her drama. He gets even angrier and asks her, "What's his name? Huh, what's your name?" She refuses to tell him.

In the locker room, Meredith has changed out of her funeral clothes and into scrubs. Cristina is telling her that everything will be fine, as they have thoughtfully provided her with pencils, bottled water, and snack bars. Cristina: "You know the material. You're gonna get a high score. Not as high as mine, but everything's going to be fine." Alex enters and asks them why they're all standing around. They give him a look, but before anyone can explain the Chief enters and tells them to head up to the test room. He also asks Meredith to stay for a minute as everyone else leaves. He tells her that she's not to blame for Susan's death, and that he thinks Thatcher knows that. Richard essentially makes excuses for Thatcher, pointing out that he's never been the best communicator, and also that his wife just died. Meredith: "Stop acting like my surrogate father. Just because you slept with my mother, that does not make you my father." Meredith, you're supposed to have this argument when you're 12, not 28.

All three of the mountain climbers have been put in the same room. They must have a lousy HMO. Burke is examining one patient while Derek does a neurological workup of the guy with the spinal injury. He can still feel pain in his legs, which is a good sign. Derek asks them what happened on the mountain. What, is he a cop now? One of them blames himself for selecting the hardest route up Mount Rainier. Another one notes that a storm came up unexpectedly, which was what really doomed them. Burke asks if they fell because of the storm. One of them tells him that he felt a tug on the rope tying them all together, and then they fell about 100 feet. When they woke up, their fourth friend wasn't moving. Burke asks if he was hurt, and the climber clarifies that he was dead. Which is why he wasn't able to cross the mountain with them to find rescue. Climber 1 thinks they had no choice but to leave him behind. Climber 2 thinks they shouldn't have left him, because apparently you never leave a man behind. Personally, I'm not sure that holds true if the man in question is already dead.

By LTG

Burke, Derek, and Mark are examining a huge wall of X-rays from the mountain climbers. Bailey and Callie stand by. It turns out that they each have a problem that requires the participation of an orthopedic surgeon, so they each want Callie. How is it that you can be a resident specializing in orthopedics if there's not an attending who's an orthopedic surgeon? Or was the one orthopedic attending on staff also the fourth climber? In fact, Bailey points out that there are multiple orthopedic surgeons in the hospital. The others are just all apparently mute. Or too ugly to appear on television. Callie, flattered, thinks that she can participate in all of the surgeries with the right scheduling, but the attending start arguing and speaking over each other. Bailey tells them to shut up and settle this dispute like men, with a game of rock, paper, scissors. She gives them the count, and they shoot. Bailey: "All rocks, very typical." They shoot again, but this time Mark shoots scissors, which are promptly smashed by the rocks thrown by Derek and Burke. Everyone leaves Mark with Bailey. Don't Derek and Burke need to break their tie? Mark gives Bailey a very odd look, and she wants to know what the hell he's doing. He tells her, "I just want to know how it feels. To not have to spend the 24 hours wondering if Richard picked you to be Chief Resident. How does it feel to be the chosen one?" He leaves the room, and she quietly tells herself, "Feels just fine."

Meredith walks down the hall and silently passes Derek. He asks her how it went, but she doesn't respond and keeps walking. Cristina is right behind her, and she tells Derek that she's on top of the situation.

I guess Cristina's idea of being on top of the situation is letting Meredith wander off to the waiting area in the lobby and sit there like a zombie. Cristina (who took the time to get a cup of coffee) is on the overlook with the other interns watching Meredith. Cristina: "It's not like she actually flunked. She just didn't write anything." Alex, who knows from flunking, tells her, "It's kind of like she actually flunked." George shares a hospital urban legend about an intern who spent the three nights prior to the exam on call and therefore slept through the exam. Apparently, the call was coming from inside the hospital. And he had to repeat his intern year. Please, dear God, don't do that to us. I cannot take another three seasons of Meredith as an intern. Izzie thinks they have to do something and turns to Cristina for some idea of what that something should be. Because she's the one you turn to when there's some kind of delicate emotional crisis going on. Everyone's pagers go off -- it's Bailey, and George tells them that they have to go. Izzie: "We can't just leave her here [on the mountain]." Alex: "You got a better idea?" Cristina's the last to leave, but she doesn't want to get a frostbitten nose right before her wedding day, so she eventually leaves.

By LTG

The test has finished, and Meredith quickly walks out of the room. George follows after and calls her name, but she keeps walking. Cristina, Alex, and Izzie all walk out behind him. Nobody else leaves the room, which makes me wonder if the proctor took all the other non-starring interns prisoner. Maybe she's holding them hostage until she gets just enough lines to earn her SAG card? George tells the others that Meredith didn't write anything on the exam. He goes to follow after her, but Cristina tells him to give Meredith some time.

Richard walks down a hallway and bumps into Addison, who is just leaving Adele's room. He tells her, "I just heard the news." Oh, comic miscommunication. Before Addison spills the beans about Adele, the Chief tells her that he's talking about Joe and Walter and the potential adoption. Richard assumes the birth mother is in the room Addison just left, and he moves to walk into the room in order to give a character reference for Joe and Walter. Addison stops him, telling him that there's a teenage girl in stirrups in that room who would probably not like to have Richard walk in on her. Nice lying, Addie.

Now Alex is sitting with Meredith. She asks him if he's going to give her an inspirational pep talk. He's not -- he's content to just sit with her in silence. I wish every character were like Alex.

Izzie chases George down in the hallway. He tries to brush her off, but she insists that it's not about her. Oh, Izzie, don't you know that everything is about you? Instead, she wants to talk about Meredith -- she wants to know what George thinks they should do. George: "There's nothing to do." Izzie is shocked to hear it, but George points out that in a week he'll be gone, implying that he doesn't really care. Izzie asks him if the transfer means that they won't be friends anymore. His mouth doesn't answer, but his eyes say that's exactly what he means. George walks away, but Izzie stops him and asks him if he heard a word Bailey said about ruining his career. And then they hear the three mountain climbers talking about how they left their friend behind. It's all "we shouldn't have left him" and "if we hadn't, we'd be dead too." God, metaphor -- we heard you the first time. Just to drive it home, one of the climbers says, "You don't climb all the way up there together just to leave a man behind." This has apparently touched George's shrunken heart, because he looks very thoughtful as he walks away.

And now to a feature of the show that I consistently enjoy -- the friendship between Addison and Callie. Addison: "I am being stalked by pregnant women." Callie: "You're an obstetrician." Addison: "And barren." Addison complains that maybe she'd have a fighting chance to have a kid if she were gay, or a teenager, or a really old lady. Callie commiserates with Addison, but it's kind of half-hearted. Addison catches the look on her face: "No. Oh, no, not you too?" Rest easy; Callie's not pregnant, she's just thinking about it. Because what better time is there to get pregnant when you suspect that your husband is having an affair? But Callie's thinking is that George's transfer gives them a fresh start, making it a good time to get knocked up. Addison is the perfect supportive friend, telling Callie, "It's a great time. Don't let me and my fossilized eggs discourage you." As Addison walks away, Callie asks if they'll still be friends if Callie gets pregnant. Addison: "Absolutely not."

George walks up to the Chief, who asks him if he's finally worked up the nerve to discuss his transfer. But that's not why George is there; he wants to talk to the Chief about Meredith's test breakdown.

In the O.R., Burke and Cristina are watching while Callie does something...with a screwdriver? Are they operating on a mountain climber or the Tin Woodsman? Cristina is scoffing at the idea of freezing your ass off and risking your life to climb a mountain. Burke: "It's a way to test yourself, your endurance. You put yourself through a situation like that, and you know exactly who you are. What you're made of." Callie asks if he's climbed before. He hasn't, but he's making the ascent up Mount Yang in the morning. It's a cold climb, but the view is tremendous once you reach the top. It turns out that Callie used to be a climber: "It's intense. I mean, it's painful and hellish and you think your lungs are shredding, but man, when you get to the top, there is nothing like it. Makes the whole climb worth it." Could the writers of this show get some damn therapy over the summer? Because if this is the best metaphor they can come up with for love, they are seriously screwed up. Callie finishes up her work on the transmission and leaves the O.R.

And now Callie is in Mark's O.R. The climber's hands are in worse shape than Mark anticipated, and he's going to amputate them both. Izzie is observing, and she thinks this is a bad idea, but Mark points out that if they don't take the hands, the deep infections will almost certainly kill him. In other words, they need to leave his hands behind.

In Derek's O.R., he's operating on a spine and quizzing George about, um, spines. Derek likes George's answer and tells him he must have aced the test. And then he asks, "How did Meredith do?" George mumbles a bit and then tells him, "Don't worry, though. I talked to the Chief." Derek wonders what he would need to talk to the Chief about, and George realizes that Meredith hasn't told Derek about her breakdown. And really, I can't imagine that we're supposed to take this as some kind of deep flaw in their relationship. I think that after you seriously fuck up the way Meredith did, the people you love the most are the last people you're going to talk with. Anyway, George tells Derek about Meredith's non-performance on the test.

Crush and her pretty new hair are pacing in her room. You know, considering that she has no insurance, I'm pretty amazed that she's scored a private room for so long. Alex enters, closes the door, and proceeds to lay a guilt trip on Crush about all the police resources that are being used trying to find her (or, more precisely, to find her identity). He also talks about all of the family members who must be crying and missing Crush. But Crush trumps him by noting that her husband never came looking for her. She thinks it's her business, but Alex wants her to think of her daughter. He threatens to expose her, but she points out that he really doesn't know anything about her: "It'll be my word against yours." And with that pretty new hair, people are sure to believe her.

George is scrubbing up after his surgery when Izzie enters the room. Apparently, George paged her. He tells her that he's figured out a way to help Meredith, but he has to handle the post-op on Derek's patient so he needs Izzie to handle the details of rescuing Meredith. He tells her, "I can't do it without your help, and I won't leave the program without knowing that she's still in it." Izzie responds, "You're not leaving the program." I don't know if she's being stubborn or stupid. Calmly, without whining or begging, she tells him that they messed up when they had sex, but that it was just sex: "I think we both wanted it to mean something, because you didn't want to feel like that guy that cheats on his wife, and I didn't want to feel like that girl that put you in that position in the first place. But the truth is, it didn't mean anything. I know you think I have feelings for you, but I don't. So you can stay. You're not leaving the program." For the Izzie and George that I know, everything she just said is exactly true. For Izzie and George recently created by the writers, I think everything she said is a big fat lie. And this is clearly Izzie v. 2.0, because she walks into a supply closet and cries us into commercials.

Callie walks down the hall with Mark, who praises her for performing three procedures in such quick succession. She's justifiably proud of how kick-ass she is. Mark tells her that it seems that Bailey's not a total shoo-in for Chief Resident after all. Am I crazy? I thought Callie was a third-year resident? That is, one year behind Bailey? Bailey overheard this comment of Mark's, and looks shocked, shocked that anyone but her would be considered for Chief Resident. She slowly walks up to Callie and asks her if she's competing for the job. Callie calls her on her disbelief, noting that she's a great surgeon and more than qualified for the position. Bailey tries to blow it off, but Callie won't quite let it go: "Look, we all know that you're the Chief's favorite. That doesn't mean I can't take a shot."

Izzie opens the door to the Chief's office (or maybe a conference room) and lets Meredith in. The Chief tells Izzie that she can leave, and she quietly tells Meredith that they'll be outside. Meredith: "You don't have to." Izzie: "Shut up." Hey, that was a flash of original old school Izzie. I miss her. Meredith stands there and clears her throat while the Chief stares at her. She defensively tells him that she doesn't need a lecture. He interrupts her and tells her that the exam is sitting on the table, along with the stuff she needs to complete the exam (pencils, water, etc.). He tells her that he'll send a proctor in, and "I'll come back in a few hours and check on you." Since the test is only two hours long, I hope he'll find an empty room when he comes back. Meredith looks to be near tears as she tells him, "You are not my father." Richard: "I know that." Meredith wipes a tear off her cheek. The Chief waits a second, and then puts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her in for a hug. And Meredith finally lets her guard down and really starts to cry.

By LTG

Richard walks down a corridor in the hospital and sees Adele coming from the other direction. He calls out her name and she ducks in the restroom. He calls out that he knows she saw him and that it's silly for them not to speak. He claims to have moved on, and further claims that he's dating. And then he remembers that lying is a sin, so he corrects himself and says that he will be dating any day now.

At Casa Grey, there's a little hen party going on. Cristina is looking at her margarita and wondering what she's supposed to do about her vows. Meredith is shocked, shocked to hear that Cristina hasn't written anything. She should talk. Cristina thinks it's stupid crap, but Izzie tells her that vows and weddings are important and gives a speech about love that has enough saccharine in it to give a rat cancer. It's mostly about how painful it is to not be with the person that you love. Cristina asks her to repeat the speech so she can use it as her vows. Meredith, noting the awkwardness in the room, points out that Izzie must be talking about Denny, her dead fiancÃ© and the love of her life. And not George, the pal for whom she has no romantic feelings whatsoever.

Back at Joe's, Derek approaches the bar, where he sees a young woman who looks a very good deal like Molly, Meredith's half-sister. And who is wearing black. And who talks about what a horrible day she had. She does not mention that her father got drunk and made an ass of himself before her mother's funeral, but I think we can infer it. She proves that the trampiness in the Grey family must come from Thatcher, because she makes a pretty bold play for Derek. Rather than telling her he has a girlfriend, he tells her that he's there with some friends and can't take her up on her offer. Bye, Lexie. I'm guessing we'll see you year.

George sits in the hospital and looks around at everything he's going to leave behind.

Alex is checking on some baby in pedes when Crush walks into the room. She takes a breath, and then tells him, "Rebecca Pope. That's my name."

Richard is still hollering Adele's name outside the restroom, until he gets tired of it and gingerly pushes the door open. Where he finds Adele passed out on the bathroom floor.

At the bar, Walter walks in with Potential Birth Mother. (Whose name, in case it comes up episode, is Rina). Walter asks Joe to get her some water, and Joe wonders what they're doing there. And then Rina tells them that she has awful heartburn. And then she passes out. Fortunately, Addison is right there to start providing treatment and call for an ambulance.

By LTG

Derek walks down the hall with a chart, and sees Meredith sitting in the room taking the test. And then he sees the other interns sitting on a stairwell waiting for her to finish. And he looks troubled. I'm starting to hate this guy. Just a few episodes ago he told her that he couldn't breathe for her, which I think communicated fairly strongly that he didn't want her to rely on him for everything. And now she's standing on her own feet and letting her friends help her when she needs it, and he acts all disappointed that she doesn't want him to be her savior. His hair is not pretty enough to make up for him being such an inconsistent prick.

On the stairs, Alex notes that at least test day is almost over. Cristina: "Speak for yourself. I'm getting married tomorrow." Izzie looks over at George, who is studiously ignoring her.

It's Joe's. Addison walks up to a table at which Derek, Burke, and Mark are seated. She asks them if this is the big bachelor party they invited her to, and tells them that she's not going to strip for them. Derek and Mark tell her that they've both seen it already. So I guess that means they know what they're missing. Poor bastards. Burke notes that he hasn't seen her goodies, but she just offers to buy the first round instead. Mark goes with her to help with the drinks. Derek asks Burke if Cristina's written her vows; he has no idea. Burke asks Derek how Meredith is doing; he has no idea. Of course, he would have had some idea if he had joined her damn friends and waited for her to finish the test like a good boyfriend. Fucker. Derek asks, "It shouldn't be this difficult, should it?" As long as you're being written by Shonda and Company, I'm afraid it will be. Burke thinks that as long as he makes it to the top of the mountain, it will all have been worth it.

By LTG

At the bar, Mark and Addie are waiting for drinks in a very awkward silence. He finally asks her how it was in L.A. She tells him it was different, except that everyone still had wildly inappropriate romantic connections and way too much drama. But at least it was sunny. And then Addison tells him that it doesn't have to be awkward between them just because they failed as a couple. She still wants to be friends. He suggests they be friends with benefits, and she shoots him down. Oh, come on, Addie -- take one last ride on the McSteamy express before you head to California. Joe brings the drinks, and Addison asks him how things went with Potential Birth Mom. Joe thinks Walter wants to kill him for being so awkward and possibly screwing up their chances, but he won't know until Walter gets back from taking her to the bus station. Addison reassures him that he'll make a great dad, even if it doesn't happen right away. Joe asks her if she ever thinks about having kids. Addison: "All the time." Since last week, at least.

By LTG

George sits in the hospital and looks around at everything he's going to leave behind.

Alex is checking on some baby in pedes when Crush walks into the room. She takes a breath, and then tells him, "Rebecca Pope. That's my name."

Richard is still hollering Adele's name outside the restroom, until he gets tired of it and gingerly pushes the door open. Where he finds Adele passed out on the bathroom floor.

At the hospital, Bailey is on the phone with her husband asking him to put the baby on so she can say goodnight. But she has to hang up with paramedics bring in the fourth climber. He's not dead after all, but he does have a pickaxe jammed in his head. Ouch. Bailey: "What the hell happened up on that mountain?"

In the bathroom, Richard is still trying to wake Adele. He realizes that she's bleeding, a lot, and he screams for help with some panic in his voice.

That's it for me this year. Lauren S. will bring it on home week. And I really, really hope the show gets better year. 'Cause I can't take much more of this.