It's time for Sectionals, and Will plans the same kind of Rachel/Finn-centric, classic rock set list he favors for every competition. And then he gets some good advice from Emma -- to stop doing the same damn thing over and over again in competition -- but he manages to do it in such a way as to piss everybody off, nearly destroying the club. However, it all comes together in the end -- the kids put on a great show, with Quinn and Sam singing lead, and then a second song highlighting the amazing dancing of Brit-Brit and Mike Chang. And then the a-dolterous writers cop out by having New Directions tie with the Warblers, letting both teams move on to Regionals. Oh, and Puck manages to recruit Lauren Tuna to the club, giving them the crucial 12th member they need now that Kurt is off to sing with the Warblers.
Speaking of Kurt and the Warblers, he's having trouble dealing with being in a place where he doesn't stand out so much. (Having to wear the exact same clothes as everyone else surely can't be helping. It's unnatural.) Blaine tries to help out, getting Kurt a chance to audition for a solo. After getting some advice from Rachel, he sings beautifully, but doesn't get the solo. But he does get lots of sexy glances from Blaine, so that has to count for something. Also, he manages not to kill the team's canary mascot.
The rest of the show is filled with relationship drama. Brit and Mike Chang are spending lots of time together preparing their dance solo, so Artie and Single-T Tina decide the two of them must be cheating (which leads Single-T Tina to attempt to keep Mike's interest by dressing as a goth cheerleader). Of course, they're not -- Brit's just avoiding Artie because she lost his magic, lice-ridden comb. So both couples kiss and make up. Finn and Rachel are having troubles after Santana drops the bomb that she and Finn totally did it. Rachel is pissed that Finn lied to her, and also pissed that he slept with Santana, because she is totally threatened by her spicy Latina hotness. They make up, and then Rachel reveals that she made out with Puck while mad at Finn. So Finn breaks up with her. And Emma agrees to come to Sectionals with Will. Until Hot Dentist Carl asks her to please avoid hanging out with the guy who tricked her into doing a dirty dance with him. Instead of going to Sectionals, she goes to Vegas with Hot Dentist Carl and gets married. Let's see how long that lasts.
Featuring "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" from Evita, the Zutons' "Valerie," "(I've Had) The Time of My Life from Dirty Dancing, Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over," Mike and the Mechanics' "The Living Years" (sung by the delightful senior citizens of the Hipsters), and the inevitable performance of Train's "Hey, Soul Sister" (sung by the total gaywads of the Warblers). It had to happen sooner or later.
Watch the episode below, discuss it in our forums, then see the show's Best Musical Moments!
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Ah, it's that time of the year already. The time when the discovery of sexual infidelity throws the entire Glee Club into chaos, when it becomes essential to recruit a substitute member for the club so they can qualify to compete, and when the Glee Club performs a last-minute set list as though they had been practicing for months. That's right, it's Sectionals!
Will slides two tickets to Sectionals across the table to Emma. You might think he's making a peace offering and giving her a pair of tickets so she can bring Hot Dentist Carl. But you'd be wrong -- he's just inviting her to come along as his plus-one. He tells her that she's a good-luck charm for the team, and then starts to tell her about his "killer set list." Emma: "No, let me guess. Finn and Rachel are gonna do a ballad, right? Followed by the kids joining in with a classic rock number where Mercedes will belt out the last, jaw-dropping note." Will: "Have you been going through my desk?" No, just reading the Internet. He thinks he's just been trying to feature the team's strongest features, but Emma tells him that seeing all of the kids performing Rocky Horror reminded her how many really talented kids there are in the club. While she babbles on, you can see the wheels creaking to life in Will's head. Of course, they're helped along by some of the product that has seeped in through his scalp.
Cut to Will walking in to the music room. Rachel jumps to her feet with an idea about the ballad she and Finn will sing at Sectionals. Will actually acts like a teacher and makes her wait until he's made his announcement. Which is that their competition at Sectionals aren't known for their dancing prowess, so he plans to have the club perform a number that features the outstanding dancing of Mike Chang and Brittany S. Pierce. Rachel worries that their flying limbs will obscure the audience's view of her during her solo, so Will tells her that she's not getting a solo during the competition. Instead, he wants to feature the winners of the duets competition. Which, thanks to the scheming of Rachel and Finn, was Quinn and Sam. Rachel pitches a fit, accusing Will of trying to throw the competition. Quinn: "You used to be just sort of unlikable, but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you open your mouth." Will tells the kids that he's talked the talk about them all being stars, but he hasn't walked the walk. I think he'll be okay, so long as he doesn't try to do both at once. Rachel tries to get Finn to intercede on her ego's behalf, which leads to a lot of bickering between the kids, which in turn leads Santana to drop the bomb that she and Finn did the nasty last year. Will finally drops the hammer on the bicker-fest and calls on Mike and Brit-Brit to join him to start planning the big dance number. Title card.
Kurt puts on that hideous navy-with-red-piping jacket the boys at Dalton Academy all seem required to wear. I do love that he's accessorized it with a glamorous rhinoceros broach. After a slo-mo walk through the all-male hallways of the school, he is welcomed to his first meeting as a member of the Warblers. The meeting is being run by a trio of boys sitting at the head table. With Blaine's help, they present Kurt with his own warbler -- a canary named Pavarotti that he's charged with taking care of, as the newest member of the club. Kurt makes a joke about taking the bird to work at the stray cat rescue in the bottom of a coal mine. But the application process for Dalton apparently requires removal of any sense of humor, because the other kids don't laugh at the joke or even seem to understand that it is a joke. And then the three kids running the meeting call it to order. They are the Council, and they take the place of a director for the club. Their task for the moment is to select the set list for Sectionals. Kurt suggests Duran Duran's "Rio," and is fairly quickly shot down -- members are free to make suggestions, but they shouldn't expect them to be taken at all seriously by the Council.
Emma's office. Rachel timorously asks Finn if it's really true that he had sex with Santana. Finn apologizes for lying, but points out (rightly) that Rachel can be kind of terrifying. But Rachel seems less upset by the lie than by the fact that it was Santana. Rachel tells Emma that they are there for couples counseling, since she learned from watching her dads rely on a counselor after a decor-related tiff that good therapy can save a relationship. Emma suggests they sing about betrayal. For once, someone decides that singing isn't the best way to handle an emotional conversation, so Emma tries to get them to actually discuss their feelings. Finn lied to Rachel because he didn't want to hurt her, and Rachel still seems obsessed over the fact that it was Santana that deflowered her man. Finn makes the mistake of referring to Santana as "super hot." Rachel, to Emma: "As a therapist, is it productive for me to slap him right now?" Emma: "Well, I'm not a therapist, but no. Um, maybe you should storm out." You know Rachel's not herself when she needs someone else to suggest that she storm out of a room.
Artie wheels past the now-inescapable astronomy classroom and sees Brit-Brit standing in the corner of the empty room, looking forlorn in the dark. He asks her what she's doing there, noting that he's been looking for her all day. Brit: "I'm paralyzed with fear. I've been here since second period. I really, really have to pee." It turns out that, notwithstanding the fact that Britney Spears taught her that she's more talented than the rest of the Glee Clubbers put together, Brit-Brit is still scared to have their entire future resting on her shoulders. Artie tries to reassure her that she can totally do it. Brit: "And I know that I can't. Just like I know that cricket that reads to me at night is totally stealing my jewelry." Jiminy's getting kind of thug, y'all. And then Artie gives her his magic comb, which he says ensures that whoever combs his or her hair with it can not fail. And Brit declares him the best boyfriend ever. Commercials.
Will's office. Puck declares that he is innocent of stealing any soda machine or other vending-related apparatus. Will pretends to ignore him and then calls on him, as the most well-known kid in the school, to recruit a twelfth member of the team so they can compete at Sectionals. Will wants him to be Glee's ambassador. Puck's willing to do it, but only if he can call himself the ambadassador.
Cut to the amazing rotunda of Dalton. Where do they film this shit? The Christian Science mother church in Boston? Anyway, Kurt is swanning down the grand staircase when Blaine runs to catch up with him. It turns out Blaine noticed that Kurt was feeling a little oppressed by the crushing machine of conformity that is the Warblers, and he's there to offer him a reward for not fighting back against said crushing machine -- a chance to audition for a solo at Sectionals. Kurt's happy. Whereas I'm sad, because I just noticed that his jaunty rhinoceros is gone. Aren't rhinos endangered enough without the crushing machine of conformity coming after them?
Crowded locker room. Puck climbs on top of a bench and calls for attention. To Azimio's dismay, he's not up there to light his farts on fire -- he's there to recruit for Glee Club, by calling on the jocks to all think of themselves as potential Springsteens, escaping blue-collar life through the power of music. Although Puck has a glorious moment of telling Karofsky to shut up as penance for chasing Kurt away, his mission is a failure, as the rest of the jocks dogpile on top of him. And not in a sexy way.
Music room. The Glee Club (sans Puck) is waiting on Mr. Schue. Santana wonders where Puck is, noting that he hasn't been seen for a day. I hope Karofsky isn't keeping him tied up at home as his love slave. Mercedes thinks he's quit the club rather than face the possibility of losing at Sectionals. Will arrives to hear this last bit. He also hears the kids go on to complain about their own lack of solos and make plans to treat the Warblers rudely for stealing Kurt. (Brit-Brit's idea? "If we lose, we should throw possums.") Rachel enters wearing a piece of duct tape over her mouth to protest her lack of solos. Will loses it, yelling at her to take off the tape and lose the bad attitude, and then goes on to tell the rest of the club to stop being so selfish and that they're going to be good sports at Sectionals. And then Puck enters, accompanied by Lauren Tuna. Artie asks him where he's been, and Lauren Tuna tells us that she found him in a port-a-potty.
Smear sideways, where we see a couple of jocks shove a broom handle through the port-a-potty door and then tip the entire thing on its side. Puck's voice-over tells us that he was trapped inside of it for twenty-four hours. We see him banging on the walls and crying out for help: "Buddha, Allah, Satan, help me!" Worst. Jew. Ever. Lauren Tuna, looking fetching in a knit beret, opens the door (which is now the ceiling) and rescues him. Puck's V.O. tells us that he then asked her if she wanted to join the Glee Club. In the hallway, she tells him that she has two conditions. First, she wants a box of Cadbury creme eggs (because she's fat, ha ha). (Oh wait, I meant "hack, hack." As in what the writers are with their constant fat jokes). Second, Lauren Tuna wants "seven minutes in heaven" with Puck. Get in line, sister.
Back in the music room, Puck has clearly shared every single detail of this story with his fellow Glee Clubbers, as he winds up by telling them, "I have to say, she rocked my world." Oh, Lauren, you minx. Will welcomes her to the club. And although she now has a canonical surname, she will forever remain Lauren Tuna to me.
Hallway. Finn is closing his locker when Santana walks by and gives him a lascivious look. And then Santana sees Rachel and leans in: "Did I tell you he bought me dinner after?" Puck walks up to Rachel and she asks him if he's going to steal something from her. Well, he's going to try. But we'll get to that later. Instead, he tells her that his ordeal in the crapper made him see the light -- he prayed to God (or several of them) and promised to be nicer to people. "Then I realized there was no way I could do that, so I changed it. To just Jews." He sees that she's upset, and she confesses that she's having trouble with Finn. He tells her that he's an expert on boyfriend troubles, since he's usually the one causing them. They walk off together to talk over her problems. She takes his arms and notices his bulging muscles. Puck: "It's the steroids." Commercials.
Tina, dressed as a goth cheerleader in an all-black version of the Cheerios' uniform, walks up to Artie and tells her that they have a problem. He wonders if the problem is her outfit, which makes her look like "a cheerleader zombie corpse." No, her real problem is that she's convinced that Mike Chang and Brit-Brit are cheating on her and Artie. He hasn't noticed that Brit's been avoiding him, because it's Shark Week. [Again, are the lazy writers not aware that Shark Week is in the summer? -- Angel] And he chalks it up to the time they're having to spend together to get ready for Sectionals. Tina thinks the taste of Lip Smackers on Mike Chang's lips is evidence that he's been kissing Brit, but Artie points out that she is famously generous with her gloss. (And all of this makes me wonder if my new job will allow me to wear Lip Smackers Lip Sparkler to work.) Tina thinks that the natural football player/cheerleader attraction is too strong to overcome, and that it was inevitable that Mike and Brit would dump Tina and Artie so they could get together.
Auditorium stage. Rachel is noodling on the piano when Kurt enters. He's still wearing his uniform. Does Dalton force its students to burn all their other clothes when they enroll? Kurt greets Rachel, and she tells him it's not worth trying to spy on her since she has no solos that he can steal for Sectionals. But he's actually there to ask for her help preparing his audition piece. She wonders why she should help him. Cannily, he knows that the way to her heart is through her ego, and he butters her up with some praise: "No one knows how to kill a ballad quite like you. You are as brilliant and talented as you are irritating." Since helping him might be her only chance to sing this week, she agrees to give him some tips. He tells her he plans to sing "My Heart Will Go On" (which I won't even link to, that's how gross I find it), and she nixes the idea. She thinks he needs to sing something more personal.
Rachel: "Do you ever fantasize about your own funeral?" Kurt doesn't, although he doesn't tell her whether he ever fantasizes about her funeral. Of course, Rachel imagines her funeral all the time, since she looks on a grieving mob of family and friends as the height of achievement. She tells him there's only one song that expresses the feelings associated with people finally appreciating you after it's too late to matter. She's certain it must be on his iPod, and she's right. And then she starts singing "Don't Cry For Me Argentina." After a few lines, we cut to Kurt singing it in the Warblers' music room. The show cuts back and forth between the two of them singing the song. Blaine is watching Kurt with fairly undisguised longing (in my view), although there's a nice moment when he signals Kurt to avoid the Madonna-arms. Unlike Kurt, Rachel is free to indulge her most dramatic tendencies, so she soon starts singing the song from a balcony in the auditorium, no doubt imagining the cheering throngs of peasants in the square below. On a totally serious note, I think this duet, compared with the similar duet they did on "Defying Gravity," demonstrates how much Chris Colfer has really matured as a singer over the last year. He sounds amazing. It's totally worth downloading the complete song for your iPod. They finish the song together, and the Warblers applaud for Kurt.
In the lavishly appointed hallway at Dalton, Kurt waits with two other Warblers for the verdict. He asks them how many times they've each auditioned for solos -- it's three and six, respectively. And then Blaine emerges from the Council chamber to tell the other two boys that they've moved on to the round. Kurt looks kind of gobsmacked. But that's because he thinks the audition is about talent, when I suspect it's really about paying your dues and waiting your turn. Because the Warblers are like the fucking Politburo. The other two boys leave, and Kurt asks Blaine for any tips for his audition. Blaine basically tells him not to try so hard, and that he has to work harder to fit in and be part of the team. In other words, to submit to the crushing machine of conformity and give up everything that makes him special. Blaine promises Kurt that it won't be long before he fits in. I guess it takes a few days for the mind control drugs in the water fountain to take effect.
McKinley hallway. Artie approaches Brit-Brit just as she closes her locker. He asks her how things are going. She tells him everything is fine, but won't look him in the eyes. And then she declines his invitation to see a movie that night or have a latte in the morning because she has to spend her time rehearsing with Mike's abs. Poor Artie.
It's a grey and perhaps snowy day as the Glee kids all line up to get on the bus to Sectionals. Will is reviewing his troops when Emma approaches. Will tells her that he's nervous because his hamfisted way of changing things up for the club has totally alienated everyone and made the kids morose and depressed. And then Emma makes him morose and depressed when she tells him that Hot Dentist Carl asked her not to go to Sectionals with Will. Rachel sticks her head out of the bus to tell Will that they have to leave if they want to make it on time. So Emma wishes Will luck and kisses him on the cheek. Commercials.
Sectionals. Rachel is at the snack bar screaming at the attendant to get her some damn Raisinets. Kurt approaches, and she explains that the Raisinets are for Lauren Tuna. (Hack, hack.) And then Rachel asks Kurt, with actual interest in her voice, whether he got the solo. Upon learning that he didn't, she concludes that the Warblers must be amazing. And then she expresses actual sympathy for another human being. He tells her that he misses New Directions, since they appreciated his specialness, and she tells him not to feel guilty for abandoning them since he needed to look out for his own safety. Kurt: "How come you were never this nice to me when I was your teammate?" Rachel: "Because you were my only real competition." They hug, and then Kurt asks how Finn is doing, since the two of them haven't spoken since the wedding. Which either means the new house Burt bought is really enormous or that Kurt is boarding at Dalton. And if he's boarding there, he must have had some sex by now. Right? I mean, don't tell me everything I ever learned about boys' boarding schools in the pages of Stroke magazine isn't true. Anyway, Rachel tells Kurt that she hasn't spoken to Finn much since learning about his tryst with Santana, and Kurt expresses surprise that she didn't already know about it. Which is when she realizes that other people knew about it before she did. And then Blaine pulls Kurt away before we can explore this bombshell some more.
Competition opens with the Hipsters performing Mike and the Mechanics' "The Living Years." Thanks to the Eagle-Eyed Forum Posters for pointing out that the Hipsters are just an aged version of New Directions, complete with an opening solo from a woman, a woman in a wheelchair, and a sassy black grandma wailing away on the last notes. However, none of them are sporting a mohawk. We get about five seconds of their song, and then the Warblers take the stage to sing Train's "Hey, Soul Sister." Once again, Blaine gets the lead. Presumably, all of the groups are singing multiple songs, but we only get to see the one. Rachel is kind of cute in the audience, pointedly signaling to Kurt to smile more. Finally, I have to note that the way those shapeless gray wool pants treat Darren Criss's ass is a crime. At the end of the song, Mercedes cajoles the New Directions into leading the standing ovation. But you can be certain she's not applauding those pants. Commercials.
The Glee kids are all backstage waiting to perform. Lauren Tuna complains about chafing caused by the costumes, and Quinn is having a flashback to the fact that she went into labor last time the club performed in front of an audience. Artie confronts Brit-Brit, telling her, "I hope they judge us on dancing and adultery, because you're aces at both of them." Brit: "I don't understand how you found out. I am so stupid, I can't believe I did it, I never felt more awful about anything in my life." Artie wheels away, and Mike Chang asks Tina what Artie's so worked up about. Tina: "You're such a jerk." Rachel burst into the room and accuses Finn of having told Kurt about Santana. But it was really Mercedes that told him. And Quinn told Mercedes, after learning it from Puck. And that's when Rachel realizes that every person except her knew about it. Including Lauren Tuna, based on the way she nods her head. Santana: "Nobody tells you about anything because, a) you're a blabbermouth, and b) we just pretend to like you." Puck defends Rachel, pointing out that he "kind of" likes her. What a gentleman. Finn erupts, pointing out that when it happened, Rachel was dating someone else. In the corner, Lauren Tuna speaks for the audience: "Best. Green Room. Ever." Rachel declares that she won't sing with Finn, and Artie and Tina both declare that they won't sing with Brit-Brit. Will walks in and screams at them (some more). And it's the same screamy lecture all over again. Except this time he reminds them that a year before, they pulled together and managed to win, despite not having a set list in the last minutes before they were due on stage. Will tells them that he doesn't care if they hate each other -- he just wants them to sing together. Spite singing. It's the best kind. The lights flash, which means it's the end of intermission and almost time for our kids to get on stage.
Brit-Brit peeks out from behind the curtain to look at everyone streaming into the auditorium. She sits down to stretch, and Artie wheels over to her and asks, "Just tell me why you would cheat on me." Brit: "I don't know, why would I cheat on you? Is this like a Mad-Lib or something?" He tells her that she admitted to cheating on him with Mike when he accused her of adultery. Brit: "What does that have to do with me cheating?" Artie: "Adultery means cheating." Brit: "I thought it meant being stupid. Like being a dolt." What Brit was actually confessing to in the green room was losing Artie's magic comb at motocross practice. Which is the reason she was avoiding him -- she's convinced herself that she screwed up their only chance to win. So he tells her that the comb wasn't magic -- it was just a comb he found on the floor and was about to throw in the trash. Brit: "And you let me comb my hair with it?" He tells her that she doesn't need a magic comb because she's magic herself. And then they kiss and make up.
In another corner of the stage, Puck finds Lauren Tuna pounding out some pushups. She explains that as a wrestler, pushups are how she gets psyched up for competition. He tells her not to be nervous, because he's got her back. Lauren: "I'm not nervous. You know why? Because show choir is stupid." And on that note, it's time for the announcer to introduce Nude Erections.
Quinn and Sam make goo-goo eyes at each other, and he tells her she looks beautiful. And then he emerges from the back of the auditorium. Because there are some things Will just can't bring himself to change. Sam starts singing "(I've Had) The Time of My Life," and is soon joined by Quinn. And they're okay, but it's not a great song, and their voices are both a little too small to fill the space. They hit the stage, and the curtain comes up on the rest of the club, showing off their dance moves. Kurt leads the standing O for that song. And then Santana starts singing lead on the Zutons' "Valerie." She's fantastic, and Mike and Brit do some amazing, really acrobatic dancing. The standing O for this performance is totally spontaneous. Commercials.
So, even though we only saw the clubs perform one or two songs, it's now time for judging. Our head judge this year is Associate Director of the Ohio Department of Motor Vehicles, Pete Soznowski. Played by John Candy's slightly younger, slightly thinner, significantly more alive doppelganger. Kurt and Mercedes wave to each other across the stage while Associate Director Soznowski makes some lame jokes about the DMV and becoming an organ donor (which you all should do). The Hipsters win third place, and then the Warblers and New Directions tie for first. Which means they'll both go to Regionals. It's a cop-out, but I'm not going to complain too much if it means we get to see more Blaine.
Emma's office. Will is there to show her the trophy. And then she drops the bomb that over the weekend, Hot Dentist Carl took her to Vegas, where they got married. And he got her a wedding ring with quite a giant rock on it. Will lies and says that he's happy for her, and then leaves.
Finn and Rachel walk down the stairs. She tells him that performing in the background that weekend helped her remember that being part of something special makes you special. And then they agree that they're part of something special, just the two of them, and they make up. But not before promising that there will be no more lies. Which is when Rachel tells Finn she has something to confess...
Smear sideways to Rachel making out with Puck, just the week. Puck, showing the tiniest bit of character growth, decides that he can't have sex with Finn's second girlfriend in a row.
And in the present, Finn is really, really mad at Rachel. So he dumps her, even though she reminds him that he promised never to break up with her. Finn: "I never thought you'd make me feel like this."
Dalton music room. Or club room. Or first-class dining car. Who can tell, with all that leather and wood? In any case, Blaine enters, having gotten Kurt's text. Kurt called for him because he's worried that Pavarotti (the canary) is sick because he won't sing and he's losing his feathers. Blaine looks at the bird and tells Kurt that he's just molting and growing a new coat: "He's got food, water. He seems to like his cage. Just give it a little while. He'll be singing again in no time." Get out of the cage, Kurt! Also, get a new coat -- that Dalton uniform is not your friend. Blaine reminds Kurt about Warblers' practice and then leaves him. Why is Blaine not making a move on Kurt? Why am I starting to think Dalton Academy is some kind of secret cult, created for the purpose of taking the fabulousness away from little gay boys, one at a time?
Tina and Mike enter the McKinley High music room. She's switched from her goth cheerleading outfit to a fabulous maroon satin and black leather coat over a lacy skirt and tights. He notices her new look, and she apologizes for doubting him. And then he asks for an "Asian kiss." Which is apparently the kind of kiss on the lips you give your great aunt. Will enters and congratulates them. Santana demonstrates some sweet humanity by expressing sympathy to Will over the fact that Emma married the hottest dentist alive. Will changes the subject and unwittingly tells a total lie about the club being back in a happy place. He thinks they should celebrate by letting Rachel sing a solo. Which I guess is a celebration? Or at least a way of appeasing her so she doesn't quit the club. But she's not in the mood, so she offers the solo to "the two unsung heroes" of the week, Mercedes and Tina. I'm not sure why they're heroes any more than anybody else, but we'll go with it.
Because it leads to the entire club doing a great cover of Florence + The Machine's "Dog Days Are Over," with Tina and Mercedes singing lead. And I don't think Tina has ever looked or sounded as hot as she does on this song. When the show lets her sing in a lower range, she sounds great. They're all on stage, but there are no costumes other than the clothes they were wearing in the last scene, and no set other than some risers and a backdrop. And the choreography is relaxed, mostly just featuring kids running around on stage. It's all very nice. While they sing, we see Kurt looking at Pavarotti, a new nametag being put on Emma's door ("Emma Pillsbury-Howell"), and Emma making out with Hot Dentist Carl. In her office. Tramp. And then we see Rachel sadly removing her shrine to Finn from her locker. And we see, for the first time in a very long time, the relationship calendar she made with their faces Photoshopped onto kittens' bodies. And the kids finish the song with a group hug.
I won't be recapping week's Chrismapocalypse episode, so I'll take this opportunity to wish you all a happy holiday season. I'll be back in February, undoubtedly just in time for more relationship drama.
LTG is a full-time pension attorney in D.C. for a few more days, after which he'll be a full-time layabout in Boston for a few weeks. You can write him at ltg.jon@gmail.com.