Glee TV Show - Throwdown - Glee Recaps, Glee Reviews, Glee Episodes | TWoP

Recapped by Demian · Aired 2009-10-14

...back in the past, where Figgins asks for a progress report on how "Sue and Schue" are working together. Sue and Schue initially stumble over each other attempting to offer Figgins an answer, but after grandly and over-elaborately apologizing to one another, Sue replies first: "Things couldn't be going more smoothly." "I couldn't agree more!" Will lies, laughing and playfully bopping Sue on the shoulder for emphasis. Sue laughs along with him, but you know she's now secretly plotting to dismember Will's offending limb with a rusty hacksaw. Figgins, no fool, sees right through the forced jocularity and leans forward to emphasize, "I don't want to hear any reports of either of you trying to curry favor from the children, am I clear?" and I'm not sure if his use of the word "curry" in that sentence is a deliberate attempt to pepper his dialogue with what one might call "slur-adjacent" language, given the fact that the only other instance in tonight's presentation that I can remember at the moment is Sue's upcoming "chink in the armor," but if I notice a trend, especially considering tonight's central plot device, I'll be sure to point it out to you. That said, don't expect Will to complain about the Glee Club's "niggardly budget" anytime soon.

Smear ahead briefly in time to Will blatantly violating Figgins's curry ban by transparently begging for approval through soliciting the Glee Club's thoughts on what they should be performing at Sectionals. "Anything?" he prompts, as most of the club members stare at him, bored. "Any music in particular that you guys want to do?" Mercedes raises a hand. "Could we maybe try something a little more black?" "I agree," the eleven-year-old German milkmaid sighs, "we do an awful lot of showtunes," and honey, you were the one wiping single, perfect gay tears from his eyes when Orangina tore down the house a couple of weeks ago with a Liza impersonation, so I don't want to hear that kind of crap coming from you, missy. Rachel, sharing my outrage, protests, "It's 'Glee Club,' not 'Crunk Club'!" "Don't make me take you to the carpet!" Mercedes boldly threatens, for she is indeed a Big Bold Mama who, in short order, will actually stop the show this evening. Long before that happens, however, Gaylord Weiner or Butt Lunch or whatever the hell his name is raises a hand of his own to note, "I can pop and lock!" "Not really what we're going for, Mike," Will racistly replies, "but noted!"

By Demian

Spanish class. Finn oh-so-surreptitiously passes Quinn a note in the middle of an exam, earning himself a sharp rebuke from Mr. Schuester, but Will's soon distracted by a clueless football player -- well, a different clueless football player -- so Finn spins back around to explain the note's contents. Inspired by Gwyneth Paltrow's pioneering forays into the realm of unconventional baby names, he's come up with the perfect one for their impending stranger: Drizzle. Quinn looks like she's ready to ram a pen into his carotid. "You know how awesome it is when it's just drizzling outside," he excitedly explains, completely oblivious to her mood. "It's not really raining, so it smells like rain, but you don't need an umbrella to go outside?" "Are you a moron?" Quinn interrupts, and I'm assuming the question's rhetorical. "We're not naming our baby 'Drizzle' -- we're not naming our baby anything! Finish your test!" Finn's crushed, but I'm totally not paying attention to him because in the background, Britney's snaked Quinn's completed exam to copy the answers, and Quinn's hissing, "Will you give me my test back?" "I just don't understand anything!" Britney whispers. HA!

Out in the hall, Quinn and Finn pedebitch at each other at decibel levels so loud, I simply cannot understand why everyone else in the hall isn't pointing and laughing and jotting down their exact conversation for future reference. Long story short, Finn feels... something I don't care about, because it's not his goddamned ass that's knocked up, for Christ's sake, and he completely blows it by announcing that Quinn leaves much to be desired as far as girlfriends go, whereas Rachel actually cares about his bullshit, or something like that. Instead of shoving a protractor so far up his nose that it pierces his brain and kills him dead, Quinn basically threatens to castrate him should he ever cheat on her with that thing, and then she flounces off to the music room where...

...all their concerns magically melt away as they join the other ten members of the Glee Club in an impromptu jam session centered around Nelly's "Ride Wit Me." I've been told this number was inspired by the cast's actual impromptu jam sessions on the set, and while that's all very lovely, I'm sure, I frigging hate Nelly, so to hell with this. And when it's over, The Sylvester Seven head off to the improbable dance studio that is, apparently, an actual part of the school, briefly crossing paths with the just-arriving Mr. Schue, and then we're into Will's much-delayed initial Sectionals rehearsal with the five remaining club members: Finn, Rachel, Quinn, Britney, and My Glorious Husband, who's had depressingly little to do thus far this episode. Rachel hesitantly voices her objection to the way the club's been divided up, but Will blows right past her concerns to pass out the sheet music, and it's a song called "No Air" by someone named Jordin Sparks, and it says here that she was born in 1989, so she can't possibly have anything interesting to say, lyrically speaking, and... wait a minute. She was on American Idol? And this was a duet she did with Chris Brown? Oh, hell no. Fuck this shit. !

By Demian

Even though they began the song in the music room, it somehow ends over on the auditorium stage, and barely has Will begun slobbering all over Rachel and Finn's asses regarding their (decidedly subpar and over-Auto-Tuned) performances when Quinn valiantly pushes herself to the front and snaps, "Excuse me? What about us? You expect us to just sway back here like props?"

Smear to some indeterminate point in the near past, where Sue's rehearsing Quinn on the line Quinn's just delivered in the auditorium. And once Quinn's got her line reading just right, Sue instructs, "Now turn to the other two and say..."

"I think Sue is right about him -- he clearly doesn't like minorities." In case you hadn't guessed, we'd smeared back to the post-"No Good" auditorium, and Quinn has directed that line at Britney and My Glorious Husband, who make frowny faces like they're thinking about that one real hard, and then it's...

...back to Sue's office, where the lady herself sighs, "Can you imagine in this day and age being discriminated against? My goodness, the pain you must be feeling!" The camera's slowly pulled back from Sue's face to reveal Britney and Puck occupying the folding chairs on the opposite side of Sue's desk. Turning to address My Glorious Husband, Sue asks, "So, your last name's Puckerman, huh?" "Shalom!" Puck replies with a firm and proud Jew Power salute, and I'm guessing this little character twist is the reason his name mysteriously morphed from "Puckerton" to "Puckerman" over the summer. "Who knew?" Sue shrugs by way of response -- which, uncannily enough, is the exact same reaction I had to this startling revelation regarding My Glorious Husband's glorious Hebraic roots. "And poor, sweet Britney," Sue continues, casually curling an eight-pound hand weight. "I know the Dutch are famous for being a cold people, but that's no excuse for treating you like some half-priced hooker in Amsterdam's famous red-light district." Britney looks like she doesn't understand anything. Go figure. "All I can say," Sue concludes, "is that if you're serious about leaving Schuester, Sue Sylvester's rainbow tent will gladly protect you from his storm of racism."

By Demian

Chez Schue. Will arrives home early, and Terri, panicking, just haphazardly shoves her pregnancy pad up her skirt. Will doesn't notice the misshapen lump around her midsection because he is an idiot, but also because he's too busy being a self-serving, chauvinist, Neanderthal pig about Terri having dinner waiting for him when he gets home from work. Terri, for whatever reason, finds this attitude of his arousing rather than repugnant, but that's not important right now because what is important is the fact that Will made good on his earlier vow to accompany her to her doctor's appointment. He phoned Dr. Wu that afternoon, and they have an appointment this coming Friday at 4 PM. Once again, Terri freaks her insane little lying ass straight into the commercial break.

O Fortuna! Will's apparently gotten wind of the latest defections, and he accosts Sue in the teachers' lounge, but Miss Sylvester is cooler than the other side of the pillow, and calmly counters his anger with a proposal: "You pass my Cheerios, and I'll give you back your team of losers and snot faucets." "You'll have to pry those Fs from my cold, dead hands!" Will shoots back before spinning on his heel and flouncing on out of there. Sue's all, "Well, that can be easily arranged!" Will's screwed.

Over in Dr. Wu's House Of Obstetrics, the good doctor lectures his unseen clients on the relative merits of various stress relief activities while snipping away at his bonsai. "Can we cut the crap?" Kendra blares, and we're off! Dr. Wu wonders what Kendra and Terri could possibly want from him, as neither of them is pregnant at the moment. "Well, Wu," Kendra opens, flipping her hair around before starting in with the threatening tones, "you delivered all three of my kids -- each one is dumber than the last, plus they all have ADD and, although my husband nor I have red hair, they are all creepy ginger kids!" "It's caused by a recessive gene," Dr. Wu patiently explains. "That's one theory!" Kendra retorts. "Do you wanna hear mine? You gave me too much pitocin when I was in labor, and it screwed up their DNA!" Dr. Wu wonders if Kendra's "on some new kind of psychotropic medication," Terri denies it, and Kendra takes offense, but eventually, they get to the point: If Dr. Wu refuses to acquiesce to their as-yet-unnamed demands, Kendra will sue Wu for malpractice. As there are only two OBs in all of Lima, the mere whiff of a lawsuit would quickly destroy Wu's business, so he caves.

By Demian

And when it's all over, ending as it does smack on the fifty yard line down on the football field, Quinn tells the other Cheerios to take five, watches for a moment as they disperse, and then wanders off on her own into the commercial break. Is that supposed to mean something?

Auditorium, where Quinn, Rachel, and Finn are about to perform that hateful number I detest for the rest of the club, and we are fast approaching the titular slow-motion Godzilla Versus Megalon-style giant-against-weakling throwdown that opened the hour. Rachel barely makes it through the first bar of the wretched excuse of a so-called song when Sue disgustedly calls a halt to the proceedings and orders her Kids to exit the auditorium immediately, lest the malodorous foulness rising from this trash heap of a travesty invade their bodies and liquefy their brains. Or something like that. Finn, ever the astrophysicist, wonders if there's a fire. "No," Sue sharply replies, "and that's the point: There is no fire." "It's sad enough," she continues, shaking her head, "that my Sue's Kids are living in squalor and probably on food stamps" -- here Mercedes interrupts that her father's a dentist -- "but for you to drag 'em in here and bore 'em to death? I won't stand for it -- come on, kids! Out! We're goin' for Coneys!" Once again, Will's had enough of Sue's abuse, and after the two trade increasingly heated insults, the entire argument grinds down into super-slow-motion for a moment until Finn steps forward to call out, "Enough!" He apologizes for being so disrespectful to the purported authority figures present but adds, "If we wanted to hear Mom and Dad fight, those of us who still have two parents would just stay home on payday." Mercedes boldly agrees, for though she is a dentist's daughter, she is still sassy. "Glee Club is supposed to be fun," she protests, "and furthermore, I don't like this minority business. I may be a strong, proud black woman, but I'm a lot more than that. I'm out!" As Mercedes heads for the door, the camera pans down to T-T-T-Tina, who stammers, "M-M-M-Me, too!" At this point, with the rebellion in full swing, Rachel -- who never appreciated this segregated arrangement in the first place -- sings out from the stage, "Fellow Glee Clubbers, it would be an honor to show you how a real storm-out is done! I encourage you to follow my lead." And with that, everybody flounces. With the football players sniffily carrying Artie up the stairs in his wheelchair. Hee. Sue, wild-eyed in defeat, races out the side door, leaving Will alone, saddened and dejected. Or, you know. Furrowed.

By Demian

Doctor Wu's House Of Obstetrics, and oh, I kind of really don't care about this subplot anymore this evening. Long story short, Kendra and Terri actually blackmailed Doctor Wu into faking a sonogram for Will's benefit (or, actually, for whatever the opposite of Will's "benefit" might be), and further instructed him to claim he misread Terri's earlier test, and to announce they're actually expecting a girl. You know, because the thing growing inside Quinn's uterus is female. Which Terri found out about earlier in the episode. Did I forget to mention that? Whatever. Will gets all weepy, and it is A Very Touching Moment Indeed, but the most important line of the scene goes to Terri, who draws Will close and begs, "No matter what happens, I want you to remember at this moment that we love each other, okay?" Will's far too overcome by emotion at this point to find that statement odd, and the two kiss. Or maybe he's just a frigging moron. Commercial.

The following Monday (I'm guessing, because the obstetrician appointment was Friday at 4 PM), Will hesitantly approaches Sue's open office door and raps on the jamb, noting he'd been wanting to talk to her about the auditorium incident. She invites him in, admitting she'd wanted to do the same, but she hadn't a clue where his office was. Heh. The big bombshell is that Sue's decided to step down as co-captain of the Glee Club. "It's not for me," she offers by way of explanation. "Too fruity, and I can't stand the sight of kids getting emotional, unless it's from physical exhaustion." She'd still like to stay on as "consigliere," however, offering her opinions on set lists before competitions, just so she can feel like she's contributing to the process. After all, she was a VJ for a couple of years, don't you know. "Not MTV," she shrugs, "but still." Oh, Sue, Friday Night Videos was just as good. For a while. Will -- frigging moron that he is -- finally thinks to ask an excellent question: "Why do I feel like I'm about to fall through a trap door into a pit of fire?" Because you are, Will. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But someday. And someday soon. Sue's far more pleasant about it than I am -- because hoodwinking this fool in this moment is all part of her grand plan, I'm sure -- and simply jokingly chides him for not trusting her. "I know my methods are extreme," she admits, "and I know I'm not like the rest of you hippies, caring about the kids' feelings as if they were real, but I do care about teaching, and when I coach them? And they win? I win." Will nods in understanding as Sue concludes, "And you know how I feel about winning." And then, Will finishes things up by conceding Sue did exceptionally well in one regard: "You were right to shine the spotlight on the fact that those kids are minorities..."