In Ohio: Single-T Tina quite unexpectedly finds herself nominated for Prom Queen, and she proceeds to run her seldom-seen assistant Dottie Kazatori ragged in an effort to drum up votes for her campaign. Naturally, this means poor, neglected Dottie's especially vulnerable to an overture from the unnecessarily unfunny New Santana, the latter of whom promises Dottie a spot on the Cheerios if Dottie willingly conspires to Carrie Tina with a bucket of Slushies at the big dance. Fortunately for Tina, Pretty Kitty and the other Glee Clubbers are on hand to offer her a lightning-fast makeover after Dottie yanks on the rope, and Tina returns to the prom stage triumphant. And as for the already-tiresome New Santana? Principal Sue rewards her obnoxiousness with a promotion to captain of the cheerleading squad, and further tasks her with harassing The New New Directions for the remainder of the school year, because those kids supposedly work better together when they share a common enemy or something. Joy.
In New York: The One True Santana Lopez finds comfort in the arms of the badly miscast Demi Lovato, St. Gay Of Lima manages to land a paying gig at -- wait for it -- the exact same diner where his roommates are currently ruining orders and The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway gets cast as Fanny Brice.
In Other News: McKinley High's brand-new and ludicrously incompetent school nurse dimwits her way into Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen's heart and… yeah, to hell with all that. You know what? I'm going to ignore him until he washes his goddamned hair already.
Featuring an extremely brief snippet of "Revolution," as performed by Single-T Tina; "Get Back," as performed by St. Gay Of Lima, Old Idiot Rachel and a whole posse of instantly forgettable Fake Drama School In New York extras; "Something," as performed by the disgustingly coiffed Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen whilst pining away for the brutally stupid new school nurse; "Here Comes The Sun," as performed by The One True Santana Lopez and her new lady-love; "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," as performed at the big dance by New Puck, New Finn, Urethra Franklin and Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel; "Hey Jude," as performed by the current members of The New New Directions during Tina's post-Slushie makeover; and a surprisingly peppy "Let It Be," as performed by nearly everybody in the cast. Well, except for Finn, of course. Where's he been the last couple of weeks, anyway?
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