Mad props to Emily who emailed this slightly VCR-phobic recapper directions on getting closed captioning to work. Huzzah!
Previously on Gilmore Girls: Luke and Lorelai flirt. Philllipppe tries to flirt with Rory. Paris is jealous. Luke and Lorelai flirt. CuteDean and Philllipppe get into a fight at the formal, which is sadly the only CuteDean action of this episode. Emily asks Lorelai about Luke, which is sadly the only Emily action we're getting in this episode. CuteDean tells Rory that Philllipppe "has a thing" for her.
We open with Lorelai going through her closet. Rory is lying on her back on the bed. Lorelai says she can't find anything. Rory begs her to look again. Lorelai says she wears everything in that closet. Rory walks over to the closet and says, "The red and black halter top." Lorelai fingers the sleeve of the halter and says gravely, "Oh. No." Rory asks why. "Uh, it's a classic?" Rory informs Lorelai that the halter has "rhinestones and zebra stripes on it." Lorelai: "So?" Rory: "Tassles." Lorelai says she's had the halter since she was seventeen, causing women around the world to screech, "Oh, how sad for her that she might have to give up something she can still fit into from when she was a teenager. Bitch!" Rory reminds Lorelai again about the tassles on the halter. Lorelai calls Rory unsentimental. Rory calls Lorelai a "hopeless pack rat." Lorelai says she doesn't understand why she has to break up her happy clothing family. Rory says, "Because it's a charity rummage sale." Lorelai says she knows. Rory reminds Lorelai that she offered to organize and help run the sale. Lorelai explains that it was "very, very hot in that room that day" and that she could have been talked into doing anything. Rory says it was Lorelai's idea. Lorelai: "Okay. I'm a very sick woman, and that should be apparent to anyone." Rory tells Lorelai to step away from the closet. Lorelai pretends to block the door until Rory pushes her away. Rory grabs a hunk of clothes and says that those are going. Lorelai mock-protests, and watches all sorts of her clothes (from the middle of the closet, so you know they are clothes that she actually wears) get added to the donation pile. The closed captioning has no problem abbreviating the Gilmore sentence structure. Why can't I just do it? Rory tells Lorelai to go through her top drawer and pull out anything she finds that she wouldn't want to be caught wearing in a car accident. Man, that is nasty. Who gives away underwear at a rummage sale? If you bought your panties used, you are no friend of mine.
Rory and Lane sort through the donated clothes, creating piles of different types. Luke comes over bearing bags of old clothes and pots and pans. Rory tells him to drop the clothes and to take the pots and pans to the kitchen. He does. Lorelai pouts down the stairs and hands more clothes to Rory. Lorelai asks if anyone wants any cheese. Rory asks if there are crackers. Lorelai says that somewhere in Connecticut there are crackers. Rory asks if there are any in the Gilmore home. "Who wants cheese?" Lorelai asks again. Lane says she'd like some cheese. Lorelai leaves for the kitchen. Lane holds up a framed poster of kittens sitting in a toilet bowl. No, it's really quite funny, because Lane and Rory discuss the poster art with a straight face. Rory says they already have a "Kittens in the Toilet," but Lane points out that this one is extra special because this one is signed. Lorelai shouts that there's a man in her kitchen and someone needs to "call the constable." Luke storms out of the kitchen declaring Lorelai to be a fruitcake. Lorelai tells him to put fruitcakes by the door. Luke wishes Rory luck and leaves. Lorelai looks around the house and says that it's only Tuesday and the rummage sale isn't until Sunday, so at this rate they'll be sleeping in the yard on Thursday. At least I know what day it is. Lorelai tosses Lane some cheese.
Cardigan Man walks into the living room. He's brought in a bag of dishes. He starts telling Lorelai that there's a chip in the butter dish, but he's filed it down and if she strategically places the plate on the table no one will notice. Lorelai jokes that Cardigan Man can write out an instruction manual for the dishes. Cardigan Man thanks her and heads to the kitchen to find the notepad. Lorelai finds a jacket in one of the bags. She holds it up and coos. Rory tells her to put the jacket back. Lorelai asks if Rory can actually see the jacket. Rory says she can. Lorelai says that if Rory could actually see the jacket she'd notice that it has "Lorelai" written all over it. Lorelai couldn't possibly have any trashier taste this episode. Wait. Perhaps if she was eating a McRib while wearing this jacket, while drinking a Lone Star, wishing she had some place to put her gum while she chewed tobacco, fixin' to go outside and fix the tires on the house -- so she can move it two spaces down to have a better view of the culvert. Then she might be trashier. But only slightly. In fact, she did just pick that jacket out of the trash. This is also the third rhinestone outfit this episode, and on the double date episode she recommended the rhinestone jacket. I just wonder which one of the writers has an unhealthy fixation on rhinestones. Or if the BeDazzler is a silent sponsor of this show. Rory says that Lorelai can pay for the jacket and keep it. Lorelai thanks her.
Sookie bounces in declaring that in just a few moments they are all going to love her. Lorelai asserts that they already love her. Sookie keeps going on about how now they are really going to love her (really, like five times she argues this) until Lorelai tells her that her love-levels are starting to go down. Sookie has four tickets to see The Bangles on Saturday. Lane says they are good seats. Lorelai is shocked. She asks how Sookie scored them. She got them from a couple she worked for on a wedding. Lorelai says, "Huzzah," which I'm just going to take as a shout-out. Rory asks whom the other two seats are for. Sookie says they are for her and Lane, of course. Lane freaks and hugs Sookie. Sookie calls her "Chickadee!" which is just so damn endearing. Lorelai says that this will be a very special night, and a special night deserves a new wardrobe. She picks up a hot pink sleeveless formal gown. Rory is not having it. "WHAT could the problem be?" Lorelai argues. It was my favorite delivery of the show. They argue until the quick cut to the scene.
Chilton. The instructor is announcing a debate concerning the trial of Charles I. There's something about Parliament, and then she's all talking about English stuff and, like, laws and stuff, and I don't know because Philllipppe is there and he's sitting there being all cute-like. He's just staring at the back of Rory's head. The instructor says something about a Monarch and then asks Philllipppe what is so fascinating. He says his notes are very fascinating. "Yes, they are fascinating," she smiles. Then she starts explaining the debate, and how much time there is for each part. Rory takes notes while Philllipppe watches her. The winners of the debate will be decided by a hand-count from the rest of the class. The instructor asks Philllipppe if that sounds like fun. Busted, he says it does. She asks if it's more fun than "staring at Miss Gilmore's ear." There are some titters from the class as Rory pulls her hair over her ears and slouches down in her chair. The instructor starts walking around the class, pointing out the teams. She points to Paris, Louisa, Fraulein, and Rory. Paris jumps up and asks the instructor whom she pointed to. The instructor says that it was indeed the Bitchsey Twins, then Paris and Rory. Paris asks if she's sure. "Yes, I am. But thank you for asking." Rory gives an "Oh, shit," look to the other girls. Paris sits down and gives Rory the stink-eye.
Rory's locker. Paris, Louisa, and Fraulein are standing to Rory. Rory says they should make a plan to work out their debate. Paris says they can't study at her house. "My mother is having the entire place redone. She wants all evidence of my father out of there. So unless you want to sit on no furniture while watching three Harvey Fierstein impersonators rip up the carpet and paint everything a ridiculous shade of white and call it 'angel's kiss,' then we're going to have to go to somebody else's house." Fraulein says that her brother has the measles, which coupled with ER, officially makes measles the Sweeps Life-Threatening Illness of 2001. Except here it's no big deal. Louisa says that her mother is having an affair, so her house is out as well. Rory says that she guesses they could study at her house. She says it's a mess from the rummage sale, but it's there. Louisa says she thought Rory's house was far. Rory says it's thirty minutes by bus. "Bus? I don't do busses," Louisa sasses. Rory asks if they have a better suggestion. Paris grumps that she'll drive. Rory sets the date for tomorrow. They all droll out a, "Fine."
Philllipppe walks straight over and leans on Paris at the locker. He tells her that he's disappointed they didn't get to work on the same team for the debate. Paris asks why. He says that he knows it'd be much more fun working with her, and if they were together they'd surely win the debate. Philllipppe says they'll have to "pair up on something else." Rory literally bites her lip. Paris blushes that she'd like that as Philllipppe starts to walk off. He says goodbye to all of the girls, except for Rory. Louisa smiles and says, "Tristan certainly has very big eyes for you, Grandma." Paris says he's just being nice. Louisa and Fraulein wish that Philllipppe would be so nice to them. Paris says they need to get to class.
"Wow. All three of them, huh?" Lane asks Rory. "Double, double, toil and trouble," Rory moans. As they enter the antique shop lawn, Lane says it should make for an interesting afternoon. Rory's not done yet, however, and finishes: "With the pricking of my thumbs something wicked this way comes." Lane smiles and says, "You're doing very well in that Shakespeare class, aren't you?" "Not bad!" Rory smiles. "Good," Lane chats. "Thanks!" Rory smiles. She stops Lane at the door to the shop and asks her what lie they are going to use on MamaLane to get her to allow Lane to go to the concert. Lane has decided they are going to say that they're going to a play. Lane says she thinks that's the safest word. "'Show' or 'concert' would be very bad." Rory says they could say it's a movie. Lane says that's too far from the truth and is almost a lie. "But a play is not a lie?" Lane says that it's far enough from the truth that it might be a lie, but close enough to the truth that she could probably "negotiate a purgatory stint." They agree on "play."
Inside the shop, MamaLane is haggling with a customer. He's asking if the piece he's looking at is from the "original Queen Anne." MamaLane assures him that the piece is very old, like everything in her shop, and if it's that old it must be real. He asks for a certificate of authenticity. She says she'll write him a letter. He says that if she says it's really old he'll take it. Lane leans into Rory and says that they should attack now while MamaLane's in a good mood from her sale.
"Hi, Mama!" Lane says. "What's wrong?" MamaLane asks. Lane says that nothing's wrong. MamaLane asks if Lane ate some sugar or candy or a Hostess Fruit Pie. Lane says she's fine and didn't eat anything. Lane asks if she can go out tomorrow with Rory and Lorelai. MamaLane says that tomorrow is church. Okay, that makes tomorrow Saturday, right? This week went by quickly. Rory and Lorelai should be getting ready to have dinner at Emily's tonight, right? Anyway, Lane says that this thing would be after church. MamaLane says that after church they think about what they learned at church. Lane says she thinks she'll do her thinking on the way to the show. MamaLane's ears perk up at the word "show." "Play!" Rory corrects. Lane says it's not a show, it's a play. MamaLane asks about the play. Lane stammers the following: "Okay, well, it's about a group of people who own instruments and stand in front of other people, holding them." Rory closes her eyes and shakes her head. Lane stammers that she's not sure what it's about. MamaLane says she should find out first and then they can talk about it. MamaLane goes back to her customer. Lane tells Rory that she'll ask again later. Rory heads out. Lane takes a deep breath and adjusts her bag.
Rory walks over to Luke's. Miracle of miracles, there's a sign advertising the rummage sale on Luke's window. Luke, who hates All Things Community. Rory smiles and walks in. Luke tells Rory she'll have to wait a few minutes for coffee. Rory tells him that "someone" put a sign for the rummage sale outside the window. Luke ignores her and tells her she can have decaf if she's in a hurry. Rory continues to tease him and says they all know how he feels about "public displays of town affection." Luke tells her that Lorelai asked him to put the sign up. He tells her that Lorelai doesn't handle the word "no" very well. Rory agrees and smiles. Luke tells her that the longer she sits there laughing at him, the longer she's going to have to wait for her coffee. Rory stops laughing. Lorelai enters, wearing a damn cowboy hat, that rhinestone jacket, and other things found in Madonna's trash. As she babbles on about the amount of things donated for the rummage sale, Rory gives Lorelai a judging look. Rory brings up the hat. Lorelai beams and says it's great. If great means leopard print. Rory says that she thinks it's very nice that Lorelai is single-handedly trying to rebuild the bridge (the cause of this rummage sale), but she's got to stop buying everyone else's old clothes. Luke walks up with the pot of coffee and stares at Lorelai. "What the hell do you think you're wearing?" he says angrily. He points at the jacket and demands she take it off. "Now, that is not yours," he says. He keeps yelling at her to take the jacket off. Lorelai tries to get him to calm down, but he won't calm down and keeps going on about the jacket until it's obvious to all viewers that the Very Important Jacket used to belong to a Very Important Girl. Lorelai asks what's the matter with him. He shouts that nothing's the matter, tosses the coffee pot on the counter and tells them to pour their own coffee. He storms off. Lorelai and Rory quietly look at each other as we fade to commercial.
Outside the Gilmore house. People are arriving with more things to donate. There's a sign out front that reads "Rummage Sale. Drop off here. Nothing alive or gross please." It's somehow kinda autumn outside, with different colored leaves all over the ground. From snow to fall. Stars Hollow has the best seasons.
Lorelai asks Sookie if anyone in town kept anything. Sookie folds and says it doesn't look like it. Sookie's wearing her hair like I do sometimes, with two pigtails flipped around and pinned up except for the ends. Not that this show is all about me or anything, but I sometimes get teased for this hairstyle, and I don't know if it's a good thing that I share a love of flippy pigtails with the Stars Hollow clumsy chef. Right on cue, as Sookie starts to tell Lorelai that she's doing a good thing, she falls right into a pile of trash bags. Lorelai shouts for Sookie to raise an arm so she can find her. More physical comedy ensues when Lorelai tries to pull Sookie up, but "something likes" Sookie in the pile, and she falls back down. Sookie is finally rescued. Rory walks down the stairs and observes, "Geez, this stuff is like Tribbles." I find it amazing that a sixteen-year old would know anything about Tribbles. I also think that Rory would be too cool for Star Trek. Oh, now stop. I just heard the sound of you firing off a hate email, and you can just stop. I had many years to form my impression of hating the Trek, and you can't change my mind with one angry email. It's not gonna happen.
Lorelai tells Rory to be careful because one of the piles of stuff just tried to eat Sookie. Rory says she might want to sic it on Paris when she gets here. The study session is today. "Any minute, actually," Rory says. Lorelai apologizes for the state of the house. Rory says not to worry about it. "They'll come in and they'll make a face, they'll say something snotty, we'll study, they'll leave. I'm just looking forward to this whole day being over." There is more rejoicing over the concert tonight. Wait. They missed dinner at Emily's. I miss Emily! Patty walks in and asks Lorelai for her help. Sookie finds two large porcelain squirrels. Lorelai shouts to "set them free."
Cut to a pile of drums outside the Gilmore home. Like, three large drums. They are red, white, and blue. Patty is excited and proud of them. "Wow. Ha! These are…great," Lorelai manages to say. Patty tells Lorelai that she danced on those drums at the Copacabana in 1969. Lorelai asks for a picture of that. Patty laughs and continues reminiscing over the drums, alluding to a few sexual crimes that may have been committed on or near those drums. Patty looks sad as she says, "But I guess it's…time to move on." Lorelai says that now Patty will have room for that giant tuba she's had her eye on. Patty's not amused at Lorelai taking her sad donation lightly. Lorelai tells her to leave the drums there.
Rory hangs up the phone and announces that it was Lane. "She decided to be stupid and tell her mother the truth," Rory pouts. Lorelai and Rory agree that it was very stupid for Lane to tell MamaLane the truth about the concert. Now Lane can't go. Rory pouts off to make coffee. "Well, this looks really familiar," Patty says. She's holding up Luke's Battle Jacket. Lorelai says it's hers now because she bought it. Patty asks who brought it in. Lorelai says that she thinks Luke did. "And, judging by his very hostile reaction, he obviously wasn't done wearing it yet." Patty coos that she bets this jacket belonged to Rachel. Sookie's eyes light up and she walks over to the jacket saying, "Oh, my God! Rachel!" Lorelai asks who Rachel is. Sookie tells her that Rachel was Luke's "very serious girlfriend." Lorelai asks when Luke had a girlfriend. Patty says this must have been five or six years ago. "She broke that man's heart. It was terrible." Lorelai asks how she could possibly know nothing about all of this. Sookie said that Lorelai had just moved to Stars Hollow and had an eleven-year old kid. Also, Rachel traveled all of the time. "She was a photographer," Sookie says. Patty: "Archeologist." Sookie: "Really?" Patty: "Or flight attendant." Lorelai says she can't believe she's never even heard about it. Sookie tells Lorelai that no one ever talks about it, especially around Luke. Lorelai says she never pictured Luke having a girlfriend, or a broken heart. Patty suggests that Lorelai hide the jacket for a while, and excuses herself. Sookie holds up a pile of clothes and says they all need to be mended. Lorelai drops the jacket on top of them and tells her to take them to her room. Lorelai hears a noise outside and goes to the window. Paris, Fraulein, and Louisa have arrived in what I think is a sliver convertible VW Cabriolet. Rory walks over to look out the window. "She must be one great babysitter to earn enough money for that car," Lorelai observes. Rory says she just wants to get this over with. Lorelai smiles and says, "Suffer today; party tonight."
Lorelai smiles and answers the door. Louisa and Fraulein say hello. Paris has her head turned in the other direction. They enter the house. Rory asks if they found the place okay. "There's no sign on the street," Paris snots. Rory says she knows and that's why she told her to turn right at the big rooster statue. "I thought you were kidding," Paris brats. Hee. Lorelai says they never kid about Monte. "Monte the Roostermonte." It's also known as Monte the Magnificent. Rory interrupts Lorelai's babbling to introduce her to the girls. "This is Louise, Madeline, and Paris." Lorelai smiles and says they have good girl-group names. You know, I really prefer calling those two Louisa and Fraulein. And this is all about me, after all. Lorelai apologizes for the mess, and half-explains the rummage sale. Through her frozen smile, she tells Rory to holler when she's ready for pizza. Lorelai goes upstairs. Rory asks whether the girls want to work in the living room or the kitchen. She's met with a resounding, "Whatever," from Paris. They sit in the living room. Someone gave Fraulein a leather fanny pack. And she's wearing it. I don't know. Paris starts barking off who is doing what in the debate, and what order they're going to go in. Rory asks why Paris gets to do the debate. Fraulein tells Rory that she's gonna want Paris to do the debate because she's really good and always wins. Paris is handing out notebooks as Louisa and Fraulein are going through the donated clothes. They ask what all of the clothes are for. Rory explains that they're having a charity rummage sale to raise enough money to fix this old bridge that's falling apart. Louisa finds a top hat that she likes. "Put that down," Paris orders. "It's used." "Vintage, dear," Louisa coos as she assumes a Chorus Line stance. "Filthy, darling," Paris snaps back. Louisa checks inside the hat and puts it down. Fraulein starts bragging about this vintage clothing shop to her therapist's office. They babble about name brands and Miss Patty for a few minutes. Louisa holds up a neon pink shiny dress, smiles to Paris and says, "Tristan might like this!" Paris brats that she wants to get to work. Louisa plops down on the couch and says she'd love to have a boyfriend like Philllipppe. Fraulein compliments CuteDean to Rory. Louisa asks if Rory and CuteDean are still Joanie Loves Chachi. Rory says she hopes not. Fraulein asks if they are still together. Paris is fuming. Rory says they are. Louisa asks how long. Rory says she doesn't know. Fraulein teases her that she does so know. Rory smiles and says it's been a month. Louisa coos, "Oh. A lifer!" Paris slams her book shut and bitches: "Hey. We have a debate to organize here and this conversation is quickly veering towards the subject of French kissing and 'Glitter Eyeshadow -- Trashy or Trendy?' And I for one have no intention of being humiliated in front of the whole class because we were forced to study in the middle of a carnival and you two couldn't keep your eye on the prize. I want to win and I am going to win." I do love Paris. After a brief moment of silence, Louisa asks Rory, "So, how good of a kisser is Paul Bunyan, anyway?" Fraulein starts giggling. Paris shoots Louisa a death glare as Rory laughs into the back of her hand.
Lorelai is at her sewing machine. Sookie holds up a pair of corduroys that are missing one leg and asks if anyone in the town has a peg leg. Lorelai says, "No." Sookie throws the pants into the "hem" pile. Lorelai asks for more information on Rachel. Sookie asks why Lorelai is so interested. Lorelai says that everyone in town knows about it and she doesn't like to be out of the loop. She finds it fascinating that she's gone to Luke's sometimes three times a day and she never knew anything about this Rachel. Lorelai asks where Rachel went. Sookie explains that Rachel liked to move around a lot and didn't want to stay in Stars Hollow for the rest of her life. Luke, on the other hand, will probably be buried in his diner. Rachel was a daredevil and liked to climb and jump and dive and see new things and she couldn't do all of that in Stars Hollow. "So, she was Wonder Woman?" Lorelai jokes. "She was to Luke," Sookie says. Lorelai says that it's sad. Sookie agrees, and then changes the subject. She's going to run some errands and then go home and change for the concert. Sookie leaves. Lorelai puts some clothes in a basket and then picks Rachel's jacket back up. She folds it and sighs.
Downstairs in Snobsville, Paris is telling the girls to learn their quotes by heart. There is a debate about using notecards. Everyone is going to use them, but Paris won't let her team use them because they'll look better than everyone else and they will win. Sookie comes down the stairs and says goodbye. "Rory! See you tonight!" Rory says goodbye. Right on cue, Louisa asks what's so important about tonight. Rory tells them that they have tickets to see The Bangles in New York City. The other girls are instantly jealous. The Alterna-Retro-Pop-Culture-Hipness of these kids continues to amaze me. When I was Rory's age, and I liked a band that was fifteen years old, the other kids teased me, and weren't even close to jealous of my Carole King album. In fact, I was teased for liking the "Old Guy Version" of "Hazy Shade of Winter" instead of The Bangles' version. Oh, my God. Did I just say The Bangles were fifteen years old? That can't be true, right? That would make me close to an age that might be considered old, which I won't even consider. No. Of course the kids like The Bangles. They're young and hip. The Bangles are a fresh new group and not even close to being anything associated with old, like "retro" or "way-back" or "oldie." Oh, God. My mom was right. Eventually I'd be listening to oldies, too. Fraulein asks whom Rory's going to the concert with. Rory says that she's going with Lorelai and Sookie. The girls are amazed that Rory would go to a concert with her mom. Rory says that Lorelai is her best friend. Fraulein says she can't imagine doing anything like that with her mom. They are impressed. Louisa asks how old Lorelai is. Rory tells her. They then do the, "Wow, that's young. She must have had you when she was sixteen," bit until Paris freaks out and yells that they aren't going to sit here talking about how young Lorelai was when she had Rory since they have too much work to do on this debate and she'd eventually like to stop studying. Rory says that Paris is right and they should work. Paris thanks her. Louisa and Fraulein are still hung up on the fact that they are sixteen and can't imagine having a baby. "Well, then keep your knees shut," Paris says. Really, Lorelai might have been fifteen when she got pregnant. Fraulein asks if Lorelai is sorry she got pregnant so young. "Of course, she is," Paris says without looking up from her notes. Rory says that she isn't. She says she wouldn't recommend it, but she's happy with the way that her life has turned out. Lorelai enters and asks, "I am?" Rory says she is. Lorelai wants pizza. Paris says she can't have dairy. Lorelai says she'll order one with cheese and one without. Lorelai leaves to order the food. Paris moans that they're never going to finish. Louisa smiles and says she finds Lorelai "completely fascinating." "So does she," Rory jokes. Louisa says it's more like having a big sister. "And you like her, don't you?" Fraulein asks. "She's my best friend," Rory says. Lorelai calls Rory into the kitchen.
As Lorelai prepares some Pop Tarts on a plate, Rory recaps how the study session is going. She says they've basically gotten no work done and Paris is having a meltdown. "Which is always fun," Rory adds. Rory says they've mostly just been talking. Lorelai says it looks like Rory is actually making some friends. Rory says that Lorelai might be taking this a bit too far, and that the only progress she's made so far is perhaps getting them to cancel dropping pig blood on her at prom. Lorelai says there's "friend potential going on." "Maybe," Rory says. Lorelai says two out of three isn't so bad, and hands her the plate of Pop Tarts. As Rory heads back into the room, Lorelai stops her to tell her about her "crazy idea." Lorelai says that they have four tickets to the show, and there are four young girls in the living room who might want to go to the Bangles. Sookie and Lorelai can just buy tickets when they get to the show and sit in shittier seats. Man. Let me say right here that this is such a bad idea. This so looks like Lorelai is trying to buy Rory's friends, which is exactly what's happening. Why would Rory have a good time a the concert with these three instead of her mom and Sookie? There's no way they'd have as good of a time, and Sookie bought the damn tickets and now she's loosing her good seats? This sucks. Rory argues that Lorelai has been looking forward to this concert. Lorelai says she's going to go and just get cheap seats. She says that Rory needs to bond with some girls at Chilton since she has another three years there (what grade is Rory in, by the way?), and if she bonds with Rory any more they'd be permanently fused together. Rory should put her foot down and say no, but she only argues meekly and then agrees. I hate this, by the way. She should just ask them to do something with her tomorrow, or invite them to the rummage sale since the two she wants to be friends with are actually interested in the clothes. But why should she do anything nice for them? Ugh.
Lorelai enters the living room and asks the girls what they're doing tonight. She invites them to The Bangles. Fraulein and Louisa say they'd love to go. Paris says she can't go. Paris and Louisa argue about whether or not she's a liar (I love the fact that Paris hasn't even taken off her coat and scarf yet). Fraulein looks up and says, "She'll be there." Lorelai looks pleased and pats Rory on the back as we go to commercial.
"Walk Like an Egyptian" kicks off to shots of the New York Skyline. Lorelai and Sookie walk through the crowd, beaming. Behind them, Fraulein and Louisa are fawning over the bracelet CuteDean made for Rory. "And you wear it all the time, right?" Louisa sighs. "Just when she's breathing," Lorelai answers. Lorelai hands Rory the four tickets with a speech about how special and sacred the seats are. Paris is pouting behind Rory. Lorelai then goes on about how great the Bangles are and how she almost named Rory "Susanna." Lorelai asks an usher where the seats are located and then tells the girls to meet her outside the concert hall immediately following the concert. The girls walk into the theatre. Rory stops to thank Lorelai and hug her. Lorelai turns to Sookie and says, "Hey. Let's go make our noses bleed." I wish Sookie would say something here about how she bought these bad-ass seats in the first place and now she's going to see Mini-Hoffs. They giggle up the stairs.
Rory and the girls are finding their seats. Fraulein says she's never sat this close to a stage before. She adds that since this is also her first concert, any seat would have been the closest she ever sat to a stage before. I actually saw The Bangles when I was thirteen. They built a toll road in Houston, and to kick it off the Bangles performed a free concert on the overpass. I'm not kidding. The best part was that my mom worked at the hotel that was to the overpass, so we just went into the hotel, found a room on a high floor, and kicked it from the balcony. My mom got the best deal out of it -- while her young daughters were walking like Egyptians on the balcony, she was stretched out inside watching HBO. She didn't have to put up with anything and her daughters thought she had the coolest job in the world. They find their seats. Fraulein and Louisa sit toward the middle, then Paris, and Rory sits on the aisle seat. Rory says that these are amazing seats. Louisa spots the cute boys standing directly behind them and says, "Yes, they are." "What are they looking at?" Rory asks Paris. "One guess," Paris drones. "Check it out -- we've got fans," one boy says to the other. They think that Rory and Paris are looking at them. Rory quickly turns away. "Was I right?" Paris asks. "You were right," Rory says. "And before it's dark they'll have every picnic basket in Jellystone Park," Paris says with an eye-roll. The cute boys whisper at each other while checking out Fraulein and Louisa.
Sookie and Lorelai are climbing higher and higher up the stairs to find their seats. Lorelai says they must be getting close since they are running out of rows. They take their seats in the back row and begin to catch their breath. Lorelai says these seats are fine. We get a shot of their view of the stage -- it looks like a Barbie Rock Concert toy. Lorelai begins to laugh and sob. Sookie asks her what's so funny. "These are the worst seats in the entire world," Lorelai says hysterically. Sookie starts laughing as well. Lorelai says that it's so funny. The two men sitting to them turn and give Lorelai the stink-eye. Lorelai asks them if they think these shitty seats are funny. They don't. Lorelai tries to compose herself, but can't stop laughing.
The very young crowd gets excited as the lights start to go down. One older man has both of his fists pumped into the air. Come on, that's funny.
Lorelai and Sookie jump up to cheer. Sookie asks if Lorelai has a lighter. Lorelai, still giggling wildly, says they'd need a flame-thrower. More hysterics. Lorelai turns to Not Amused Man and says, "Get it? You'd need a flame-thrower? Because it's so far!" Sookie and Lorelai laugh and cheer.
The Bangles begin playing "When the Hero Takes A Fall," but the camera is focusing more on the instruments than the four women themselves. Well, except for Susanna Hoffs. All these years and they still only show her looking all around while she sings.
Cut to Fraulein and Louisa, completely ignoring the concert, touching the cute boys. At this point, I would have told them that if they weren't interested in the concert, they could at least give up their seats for Sookie and Lorelai, who would kill kittens to be sitting there right now. Paris, who still hasn't taken off her coat and scarf, is bobbing her head to the music, smiling slightly. Rory and Paris look over and see the flirting girls. They look back at each other and smile. They keep watching the concert.
Sookie and Lorelai are smiling and dancing in their cheap seats.
The cute boys are still talking to Fraulein and Louisa. Rory looks over and sees Paris smiling and clapping to the music. She gives her a smile. Paris, seeing she's busted, stops clapping, looks down, and smiles. Rory laughs.
Time passes and the Bangles have moved on to "Eternal Flame."
Now sitting down, Lorelai turns to Sookie and asks if Rachel was pretty. Sookie asks why. Lorelai says she's just curious. Sookie says that she was pretty. Lorelai asks if Rachel was like a Catherine Zeta-Jones kind of pretty or a Michelle Pfeiffer kind of pretty. Sookie says that Rachel was an Elle McPherson kind of pretty. "Really?" Lorelai asks incredulously. "Yep," Sookie says. Lorelai says she'd never picture Luke with an Elle McPherson kind of pretty. Sookie asks if she pictured him with more of a Lorelai Gilmore kind of pretty. Lorelai says the air up there must be pretty thin for Sookie to be that delusional. "And you're jealous," Sookie smiles. Lorelai scoffs. Lorelai asks if Sookie is accusing her of being jealous of a woman that dumped a man she's not even interested in over five years ago. Sookie says she is. "And you don't think that's crazy?" Lorelai asks. Sookie says she does think it's crazy. Lorelai says she's not jealous. "Yeah, you are," Sookie says.
The Bangles keep on singing.
Louisa turns to Paris and Rory to say that one of the guys is "so gorgeous." "I guess," Rory says. Louisa says there's a "massive party" going on around the corner and the boys have invited them to go. Fraulein asks if they are going. Rory says there's a concert going on. Louisa says they'll be back by the time the concert is over. Paris keeps watching the concert, not saying a word. Rory says they can't just leave and that they have to meet Lorelai after the concert. "These guys are so cute!" Fraulein whines. "Well, that's great, but we're not going anywhere," Rory whines back. Louisa asks if Rory is afraid. "Of going out into a strange city with two guys I don't know? Yeah." Fraulein begs. Rory says no. Louisa says she's going. Rory says she isn't. "Paris," Louisa says. "Join please." "No, thanks," Paris says, still not taking her eyes off the concert. Louisa scoops up Fraulein. Rory asks what she's supposed to tell Lorelai. Louisa bitches, "That you're a very good little girl." Rory gives Louisa the, "Oh, fuck off," face as Louisa stands up. Fraulein leans over and gives directions to the party and tells Rory to try and get over there. Fraulein smiles and says they'll be back by the time the concert is over.
Rory pouts back into her seat. Paris leans over and smiles: "You know? I really like this band." Rory is unamused. She sighs as we go to commercial. This same kind of thing happened to me once when my mom made me go to a slumber party for a girl I didn't really know. I was the new kid and hadn't made friends and somehow my mom heard about the slumber party and I didn't really like the girls, but I had to go and once I got to the party they pretty much ignored me and then tried to make me drink stuff from their parents' liquor cabinet. When I said no, they put Vodka in my Sprite when I went to the bathroom. Have you ever tried a nastier beverage? In any event, they all then decided to sneak out and go visit boys. I wouldn't go. I ended up sleeping all by myself in this strange house I didn't know because I didn't want to call my parents to come and get me because I knew they'd get in trouble if I told. It sucked.
Oh, God. I laughed at a Sprint PCS commercial. I think I just gave up a part of my comedy soul.
Outside the concert, Rory walks over to Paris and says she couldn't find Lorelai or Sookie. They decide to stay put. They put sounds of sirens in the background here, to make New York seem "dangerous." Rory says she can't believe Louisa and Fraulein would just leave like that. "They've done it before," Paris says. Rory asks if she can ask Paris a question. "Maybe," Paris says. Rory asks what Paris could possibly see in Ryan Phillllipppe. Paris gets defensive and says that Rory doesn't know him like she does. She has known him since kindergarten and he's not always a jerk. He has things in his life that are hard. "His parents? Not so great. We have that in common." Rory says okay in an effort to end the conversation. Paris says he kissed her once. In the sixth grade. It was on a dare, but still, it was a kiss. Rory says she thinks Paris could do better. Paris says she knows he's flirting with her to get to Rory. "But at least he's flirting with me," she says. Lorelai walks up and starts flinging out t-shirts for all of the girls. Wow. That's so much money she just spent right there. Lorelai stops when there's no one to fling the shirts to and asks where Louisa and Fraulein are. Rory tries to stammer out what happened, and Lorelai is instantly enraged. Sookie walks over and asks what's going on. Lorelai tells her that the girls left. Lorelai orders everyone to move.
Pan up on an apartment building that looks suspiciously like the same apartment Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Rachel live in. Lorelai runs through the hallway saying that she left the house with four girls and she's coming home with four girls. She knocks on a door. A woman answers with the chain lock in place. Lorelai says she's looking for a couple of teenage girls that might be with some college boys. The woman shouts, "I don't talk to anybody. People annoy me!" She slams the door in Lorelai's face. We hear fighting and babies crying. Sookie is listening at the door of another apartment. Lorelai asks what's going on. "She found him with the blonde again," Sookie whispers. Paris asks if Lorelai is going to knock on every door in the entire building. Rory says she probably will. Lorelai knocks on another door but no one answers. Sookie knocks on another door and is met with the sounds of giant man-dogs barking. They back away from that door and run over to Lorelai. Paris wonders if her mother would come looking for her like that if she was missing. Rory says she's sure her mom would. Paris says, "Yeah. Or at least she'd send somebody."
Lorelai knocks on another door and Sookie hears music coming out of the door at the end of the hallway. They walk over to that apartment and knock. A boy answers. Rory says that's one of the guys. Lorelai walks in and walks over to the busted Fraulein and Louisa. "Hey!" Lorelai says. "Did you miss me?" "Lorelai," Louisa smiles. Lorelai busts into Mom Mode: "Miss Gilmore. Put the cups down and let's move." The cute boy walks in front of Lorelai and asks if there's a problem. Lorelai tells him that those girls are sixteen and the cups that they are holding probably have some sort of illegal fluid in them, so if he doesn't want any sort of trouble, he'll just let those girls go with her. Oh, and she calls him Skippy, which I like. She barks to the girls to go outside immediately. Louisa and Fraulein run for the door.
Lorelai stops them in the hallway to tell them that they are insane and stupid for doing what they did. Over her shoulder, you can see Paris beaming. Lorelai says if they ever do a stunt like that again, it won't be around Rory. Fraulein says they understand. Lorelai: "Good. Then let's move. I can't wait to meet your parents. We have some catching up to do. I think we'll just talk and talk and talk all night long!" As they start to walk down the hallway Paris stops Rory and says, "You know what? I think this is the best night I've ever had."
Rummage Sale. Lane moans that she can't believe she missed it. Rory says the concert was amazing. Lane says she doesn't care about the concert, she just wanted to see Lorelai pull "those idiots" out of the apartment. Rory says it really was "a Kodak moment." Lorelai walks over and complains that Rory didn't wake her up. Rory says the clock was set. Lorelai explains that the clock shuts off when you throw it across the room, unlike Rory who doesn't stop talking no matter how much you throw her. Lane excuses herself for a soda. Lorelai asks if Rory has talked to anyone today. Rory says that none of the girls have called her. She says she's sure tomorrow at school will be interesting, though. Lorelai pictures the gossip already surrounding, "Rory's crazy Bangles-obsessed mother ripping open apartment doors, scaring the pointy-haired boys." "Totally uncool, man," Rory says. Lorelai says she had to do it because those girls had put themselves in danger. Rory says she knows. Lorelai says she thought inviting those girls out would make things easier for Rory. Rory says she always thought easy was overrated. "Oh. That's my twisted girl," Lorelai smiles. Rory says that some good came out of it -- Paris has decided to let Rory split the debate time with her. Lorelai asks if that's a good thing. Lorelai says it's like spitting in your palm and shaking hands to take a friendship oath. But without all the gross stuff. Lorelai sees something in the distance and excuses herself.
She walks over to Luke and asks if he found anything good. He found magnets shaped like sushi for a nickel. Luke apologizes for yelling at her the other day. Lorelai says to forget about it. He keeps apologizing. She hands him back the jacket. Luke says that Lorelai bought it. She says she knows that, but it's his and it means a lot to him. She says she didn't know about the former owner and she wouldn't have flaunted it around if she had known. Luke says it's okay. She hands him the jacket. Luke says that you have to let things go. Lorelai says sometimes you need a little something to remind you. "I mean, you wouldn't want to forget everything, would you?" Luke says there are some things that he definitely wouldn't want to forget. He takes the jacket and thanks her. He asks if he can pay her for it. Lorelai will accept payment in the form of coffee. Luke starts to walk off, but stops to tell Lorelai that he's not pining. Lorelai says she knows that. "Remembering is not pining," Luke insists. Lorelai agrees. Luke says this is just a token of a memory, like restaurant matches. Lorelai says she can see the resemblance. They say goodbye and Lorelai watches Luke walk away. Fade to black.
week, Lorelai keeps pretending she's not interested in Luke, giving Christopher the perfect opportunity to blaze in on his motorcycle. Lorelai torn between two men! This must mean we aren't seeing CuteDean for another episode or so. So much for Valentine's Day. Dammit.