This will be a bit of an experiment. This recap is falling on the first day of my period. Oh, don't wince. Come on, this is a really girly show, and I think that perhaps all of our periods are going to start happening at the same time from this show, anyway. There's a lot of estrogen around here, is all I'm saying. But it's making me incredibly crabby and cynical and lots of other emotions that I don't normally have, and I'm wondering what that'll do to a Gilmore Girls recap. I'm thinking my tolerance for long-winded discussions that boil down to three-word questions is going to be much lower than usual. I also think that I won't want to recap rapid-fire dialogue that ends in a wistful lip-pursing from Lorelai. See? I'm already judging and I haven't started. That's it. I'm ordering a chocolate shake.
Previously on Gilmore Girls: Luke and Lorelai flirted. Emily asked Luke what was going on between him and Lorelai, and said that they're idiots for thinking they're just friends. Lane felt neglected with CuteDean in Rory's life. Going into the Way-Back Machine, we see Jackson arguing with Sookie over strawberries. Then they argue about a "zucchini tush." Back, back to the Thanksgiving episode, Lane confessed that she's been talking to CuteDean's best friend Todd. Lorelai accidentally snapped at Sookie for not having had a relationship in a while. Sookie got up enough courage to ask Jackson if he'd like to go out to dinner sometime. Jackson stammered an "Okay."
Exterior shot of Gilmore home. The alarm rings. Rory walks out her door and shouts, "Mom!" The music kicks in. Lorelai moves the coffee pot over to fill her cup. Rory starts making Pop Tarts (possible Popstars shout-out?). Rory pulls her cup of coffee out from the maker and puts the pot back in. Lorelai grabs a paper towel in time for the World's Fastest Toaster to finish the Pop Tarts. Rory grabs a Pop Tart, picks up her backpack, and walks over to Lorelai. Lorelai grabs Rory's mug so Rory can tie the front of Lorelai's shirt. Rory grabs her mug back and Lorelai pulls the clip out of Rory's hair and gives her a "you weren't going to wear this, right?" look. Lorelai tosses the clip, the music hits the last note, and the girls walk out the door.
Opening credits. Oh, Gilmore Girls. Thank you so much for that. The first scene in this show's history that didn't palsy my fingers from transcribing.
Lane dumps a pile of CDs onto Rory's table. From here I can see the Meat Puppets and the Best of Blondie. Rory says, "Wow. You went new CD crazy." Lane says there was a good selection today. Rory starts going through the CDs, pointing out Kraftwerk and the Meat Puppets. She stops on Yoko Ono. "A very misunderstood artist and the Beatles would have broken up anyway," Lane says. "Have you shared this theory with anyone else?" Rory asks. "I know it. Yoko knows it. Sean knows it. Julian's still in denial, but what can you do?" I think, perhaps, Julian is still in denial because Yoko and Sean are still making LennonBucks, where poor Julian is hoping Kodak might be interested in using "It's Much Too Late (For Goodbyes)" for an upcoming commercial. Rory opens a CD, declaring that with a name like Claudine Longet, she must find out what it sounds like. Rory puts the CD in and Lane asks for a favor. She asks Rory if she remembers Todd, CuteDean's friend. Rory says she does. Lane goes on about how cool Todd is. She then says that she's ready to ask Rory the question, but she's interrupted by Lorelai. Because the last scene was so easy to recap, Lorelai has to bust out with this: "Hey! I'm studying in there. Yeah, I have, like, six thousand pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomenon coming up on Friday, [so turn the music down] and because I have a life, and a job [so turn the music down], and Business School's not only thing I have to concentrate on, I'm behind [so turn the music down], and I'll probably fail, and then that little eighteen-year-old annoying gnat that sits behind me [so turn the music down] will get another A, and make that 'I'm smart. You're dumb' face to me for the rest of the week [so turn the music down] and I'll be very upset and will possibly cry." Rory: "The music's too loud." Lorelai: "Yes." Rory: "Got it." Lorelai: "Thank you." I don't know if it's a good sign that, after that exchange, the people in the room watching with me started complimenting not Lauren Graham's acting ability, but how good she is at memorization. Lorelai leaves the room, and Lane asks Rory if she'll talk to CuteDean about talking to Todd about talking about her. Lane asks Rory if she'll ask CuteDean to ask Todd out for her. Lane says she'd like this date to be this weekend, preferably Sunday, after church. Rory begins to stammer her objections, but Lorelai walks back in and complains that the music is now too quiet. Rory turns the music up and Lane turns back to talk, but Lorelai walks back into the room and asks, "Who the hell is that, anyway?" Rory says that it's Claudine Longet. Lorelai gasps and says, "The chick who shot the skier?" "Um, sure. Why not?" Rory says. Lorelai marvels at Claudine Longet for being a "Renaissance woman," and leaves the room. For more Claudine Longet information, see here. Rory asks Lane if she wants her to set her up with Todd. Lane says she was also thinking that Rory and CuteDean could come along on a double date. Rory doesn't look very excited about it, so Lane tells her to forget it. I'm trying to think if I've ever gone on a double date in my life. I don't think I have. One time a boy asked me to double date, but it was because he didn't have a car, so he was going to have his older brother drop us off at the Taco Bell, then pick us back up and drop us off at the dollar cinema so we could catch Jacob's Ladder. I declined that double-date action, and was never asked on one again. Lane tries to change the subject by talking about her Granddaddy CD that she just bought, but Rory says that she doesn't really know Todd. "I do," Lane says. "You've met him twice," Rory reminds her. Lane says that the third time is a charm. Rory asks how Lane knows this Todd guy is so special. Lane says that they are soulmates. Rory says that the last time Lane had a soulmate, she ended up running her fingers through his hair and then hiding in Rory's bedroom all night long. Lane says that Rich was a mistake, and that this is different. "First of all, his name is Todd. Different name. Different guy." Lorelai runs in, turns off the music, and asks how important this whole business-school thing is, anyway. She says it's not that important to run her own inn. She likes her job the way it is. She says she doesn't want to be one of those people who is never satisfied with anything. This launches into a long diatribe about the importance of arms and legs and how she at least has both of those things and therefore doesn't need a business degree because having her own inn won't change the fact that she has arms and legs. Lorelai sighs and says, "Wal-Mart is boring." "Study!" Rory orders. Lorelai makes a noise and leaves the room. Lane asks if Rory will do it. Rory says she will. Lane: "Really?" Rory: "Yes, Yoko." Lane hugs her. Lorelai walks back into the room, sits down between the two girls and asks what they're doing.
Independence Inn. Michel walks over to Lorelai. He Frenches around that he has a problem, but isn't sure if Lorelai is ready to hear it. Lorelai asks what the problem is. "We're overbooked," Michel tells her. "How are we overbooked?" Lorelai asks. "Well, there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in," Michel says. Lorelai moves the guests around and tells Michel to offer them dinner for their inconvenience. Now, I don't know much about inns, and maybe it's different because it's supposed to be in a remote location, but you overbook hotels all the time. In fact, you should have your hotel overbooked, because people cancel last-minute all the time.
Okay, so my back just sorta tightened up and went out over the past half-hour. This isn't due to Gilmore Girls, but I think this will add to the overall bitchiness that you might have been picking up from me on this thing. I'm now lying very still on a chair, leaning back, typing on my laptop. I can raise my left arm just enough to operate my VCR remote. Oh, and I think my VCR is finally dying, after a year and some change of recaps. I guess there's only so much a four-head track machine is willing to put up with.
Lorelai enters the kitchen and finds Sookie working on a variation of Baked Alaska. Well, Sookie's got the meringue part, but she doesn't know what she wants to do with the actual Baked Alaska. Lorelai offers a few suggestions, including shaping it like the state of Alaska. Jackson walk in with carrots. They both immediately get nervous, and sort of talk to each other in half-sentences. Jackson: "I brought you...um..." Sookie: "Yeah, yeah, uh...great! Just put them down there." Lorelai watches Jackson and Sookie stammer around discussing how the carrots look good on the table until Jackson starts to leave. Sookie stops him to say she needs squash. He says he'll bring some by the same time tomorrow. Sookie says that would be perfect. Jackson stammers away, stops to say something, but changes his mind. He leaves. Lorelai asks, "Okay. So. Who walked in on who [sic] naked?" Sookie says she had asked Jackson to dinner. Lorelai says she remembers and that it was weeks ago. Sookie says that since she hadn't put a definite time or date on it, the date request is just floating around out there and now it should be Jackson's turn to ask her out and maybe now he doesn't want to go out with her anymore. Lorelai suggests that perhaps Jackson thinks that Sookie doesn't want to go out with him anymore since she hasn't asked again. Lorelai says that Sookie could either wait around for Jackson to realize it's his turn or she can just ask him again. Sookie says she doesn't want to ask him again. "I wanna be the girl," she whines, which is just so damn endearing. Lorelai says that Sookie is the girl, and that's why she's having this confusing conversation. She tells Sookie to ask Jackson out for Sunday, since that's her day off, and that she should call him up right now and ask him. There is a lengthy discussion about the reason cell phones were invented so that Sookie can avoid calling him. Lorelai is wearing this green shiny shirt that looks like a pajama top. Lorelai teases Sookie for knowing Jackson's cell phone number by heart and Sookie immediately starts blabbing to Jackson's voicemail. She keeps on talking about how nice the carrots are until Lorelai tells her to hang up. Lorelai says that now Sookie's got some time to think of some places where they could go on their date. Sookie grabs a piece of paper and starts to write a list, until Lorelai points out that Sookie is trying to write with a spoon. Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaaah!
Pan up from a copy of The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath to Rory sitting on a bench. How very sixteen. CuteDean spots her from across the street and starts walking towards her, cutely. Well, except for the polar fleece he's wearing. That's got to go. Even Old Navy has apologized for that one by now. "Is there anything in there about me?" CuteDean asks Rory about her book. "I don't know," Rory says. "Your name wouldn't be Lithium, would it?" Ha. CuteDean asks Rory why she's not in school. She had a half-day today for teacher conferences. She thought she'd come by and surprise him. He teases her that she knows how much he hates surprises. Rory says she knows and that she's very sorry. He kisses her. "That's for surprising me," he says. "I have learned my lesson," Rory retorts. More kissing. Rory breaks away and says she needs to talk to him about something. He says he needs to talk to her too, and starts kissing her again. She pulls away and says, "Okay, stop." CuteDean apologizes, and then starts leaning in again. "No, stay!" Rory points, and CuteDean hangs back. She says she really needs to talk to him about something, so CuteDean packs up his dimples and sits back. She asks him what he thinks about Todd. CuteDean says that since Todd is his friend, he obviously has a good opinion of him. CuteDean asks if he can kiss her now, but Rory says she's not done yet. Rory tells CuteDean that Lane really likes Todd and she thinks the two of them would really hit it off. "You don't even know Todd," CuteDean points out. Rory says she knows that but since CuteDean knows him and likes him, then it should be fine. CuteDean says he'd really like to kiss her now. Rory says she'd like to kiss him, too. CuteDean moves in for the kill, but Rory backs up and says that they should set Lane and Todd up. Rory says they could all go out to a movie together on Sunday. CuteDean leans back and shakes his head. He starts to say something, but Rory interrupts to say it would all be very casual. CuteDean says he's just not sure that he sees them together. "You don't think that Todd would like Lane?" Rory asks. "I'm not sure," CuteDean responds. Rory gives a huff and says, "Lane is great!" CuteDean says he knows that. "She's my best friend," Rory adds. CuteDean agrees. "Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her." As Rory looks away we get a distant shot of Rory and CuteDean on this bench. My Lord, that CuteDean is tall. He's practically folded in half on the bench to talk to her at her level. Rory asks if CuteDean thinks that Lane isn't good enough or pretty enough for Todd, and CuteDean says he didn't say anything of the sort. He says he just doesn't know what kind of girl Todd likes. He says that still, if Rory wants to do this, then he'll talk to Todd. He says he'll mention Sunday to him. Dimples are unpacked. Rory thanks him cutely, and they go back to kissing. Commercial. Rory might have been manipulative in this scene, but she still did it cutely.
Lorelai is going through her big giant Wal-Mart book at the front desk of the Inn. She starts throwing a temper tantrum and says to Michel, "I give up." Insert gigantic pout. "That's the spirit," Michel says to her. He says that perhaps she isn't cut out to be her own boss, and is more of a "worker bee, a follower." He compares her to the people in parking lots who wave orange glowsticks at you and tell you where to park. "You're baiting me, aren't you?" Lorelai squints. "No!" Michel says. "I seriously have no faith in your aptitude." Hee.
Sookie giggles in saying that Jackson called and said he'd love to have dinner with her. The problem is his cousin's in town and staying with him for the week. Lorelai says that Sookie will just have to have the date on another day. Sookie giggles and says that would have been a good thing to say, but instead she had suggested a double date with Jackson's cousin, and that Lorelai would go. Michel smiles from the side. Lorelai says she hates blind dates. Sookie says this isn't a blind date, but rather Lorelai keeping Jackson's cousin company while she has her date. Sookie clasps her hands and says, "Lorelai, please! I'll be your best friend." "You are my best friend," Lorelai drones. Sookie: "And you're mine." Lorelai: "I know I am." Sookie: "So, what are best friends for?" Lorelai pouts and shakes her head a few times while saying she'll go. Sookie thanks her and says, "You will not regret this." "Pick another phrase," Lorelai says. "You will not have to pay," Sookie smiles. Lorelai sighs, and tells the laughing Michel to shut up.
The Gilmore home. Lorelai is getting Sookie ready for the date. Wait, if it's Sunday already, what happened to the Friday-night dinner? We normally get three per episode. This is strange, as Grampa was on his deathbed the last time we saw him and there hasn't even been an update on his condition since. I can't believe they see him less now that he was all sick, making them realize they don't spend enough time with him. Even just a mention that they talked to him on the phone or something, or that he's out of town on business. The writers on this show are usually more attentive. Rory brings Lorelai an accessory she's looking for, and asks Lorelai for sparkly hair clips. Rory tells Sookie that she looks pretty. "I should cancel," Sookie says to Lorelai. Lorelai starts applying lipstick. Sookie "what if"s that her date might go horribly wrong and then he might not sell produce to her anymore. Lorelai says that if Jackson holds all of the produce in the entire world, then probably their vegetarian clients will die. Sookie says she likes Jackson a lot. Lorelai says that Jackson likes her, too. Sookie thinks that Jackson is just being polite, and because she trapped him he had to say yes to the date. Sookie keeps on talking and says that she's his employer, since she buys his product, and therefore her making him go on this date is sexual harassment. Lorelai tells Sookie that she's no longer allowed to talk because she's being crazy. Sookie sits down. Lorelai tells her that tonight is a good thing. Whether she finds out that she and Jackson are madly in love or they figure out that they aren't right for each other, it's still a good thing. Lorelai says she'll be right there with her and everything will be okay. Lorelai grabs the sparkly clips and tells Sookie she'll be right back.
Lane is going through Rory's closet, borrowing clothes. Lane asks which jacket Todd would like more. Rory points out that she doesn't know Todd. Lane settles on the rhinestones. Rory is holding lip gloss, then some product that comes in a tube, like base or something, and then lip gloss again. Rory asks Lane what she told her mom. Lane said that she was staying over at Rory's and hanging out with her and Lorelai. To make sure that she was covered in case her mom calls, she said that they were planning on getting dinner or renting a movie. She says she can never be too careful, since there's a non-Korean involved, and as far as she knows,Todd doesn't have any medical aspirations. Lorelai walks in and gives Rory the clips. She compliments the rhinestones and walks out. As Rory puts the clips in Lane's hair, Lane asks Rory what she'll tell Lorelai. Rory says that Lorelai doesn't like lying to other mothers, but Rory doesn't want to lie to Lorelai either. Lane says that she could tell Lorelai that they're going to a movie with CuteDean and then CuteDean's friend who also happens to be a boy just happens to be there also, and since it would have been rude not to ask him to sit with them since they know him, he sat with them during the movie. Rory says that Lane will make a great President. Lane and Rory put on their jackets and look in the mirror. Rory says that Lane looks too good for Todd. Lane's pleased with that.
Lane and Rory say goodbye to Lorelai and tell her that they're going to a movie with CuteDean. Lorelai tells them not to see anything violent, dirty, or French. Rory asks if Lorelai is going to be home late. Lorelai says there's a bit of speculation as to whether they're ever going to leave at all. She calls to Sookie from upstairs. Sookie stiffly walks down the stairs, so as not to muss her hair, and announces that she's ready. Lorelai beams over Sookie. She asks where Sookie's coat is. Sookie left it upstairs, because when she was walking out of the room she sort of tripped and it sort of got caught on something and then "the choking" started and she just sorta left it on the pole. Lorelai decides to get Sookie a shawl. Now, if you're dressing a girl that's wearing red, pink, and neon pink, what better color to cut that dreamsicle than Intense Blue? Rory and Lane leave. There's a knock at the door. Lorelai goes to answer it as Sookie starts some deep breathing.
Lorelai answers the door. It's Jackson and -- hey, it's Max Perlich! You may know him from Homicide, but he's the boy of my Eighties Movies Heart. People, he was in both Lost Angels AND Gleaming the Cube. He's sorta like Scott Coffey, but not quite, because Scott Coffey got to do the bigger movies, like Shag and Some Kind of Wonderful, but Max Perlich got to be in Ferris Bueller's Day Off and got to say, "Here!" all pissed off and then huff around in the same class as Buffy. Not the new Buffy, but the original Buffy. Because Max Perlich is the original Scott Coffey. But Scott Coffey was busier in the eighties and early ninties, since he was in the TV series The Outsiders and Wayne's World 2 and Tank Girl. But the IMDb says that both Max and Scott played Economics students in Ferris Bueller's Day Off so that means either the IMDB can't tell them apart, or they're both in that scene, which I don't think I ever noticed before. ["Isn't Scott Coffey the guy sleeping on his desk?" -- Wing Chun] Brilliant. Anyway, the recap. Back to it. Sookie walks over to Lorelai as Jackson's apologizing for being late. Sookie and Jackson exchange about sixteen "Hi"s. Lorelai invites Jackson and Max Perlich inside. Jackson introduces Max to Lorelai. His name is Rune. Lorelai extends her hand for a shake, but Rune just stares open-mouthed. He leans over to Jackson and asks if he can talk to him alone for a moment. They dart outside.
Jackson asks Rune what he's doing. Rune can't believe that's Lorelai. "Did you see how tall she is?" Rune asks. Jackson says he hadn't noticed. Rune says he can't believe Jackson wouldn't notice, since Lorelai "is like a basketball player." We see Sookie and Lorelai listening at the door as Jackson tells Rune that Lorelai, "is a very nice lady." Rune says he'd never go out with someone that tall. "What? Was the bearded lady busy tonight, or something?" he asks Jackson. Lorelai is slightly shocked by that comment. Sookie shakes her head. We watch Lorelai and Sookie listen as Rune goes on about how he thought that Lorelai must have been Sookie's East German maid or something, and couldn't possibly be his date. Jackson says she's not that tall. "She's tall enough," Rune says. Jackson asks him to keep it down since she's just within hearing range and that she'll hear him. "With those big ears, I bet she can," Rune says. Jackson tells Rune that since he just dropped into town unannounced, ate all of his food, and crashed on his couch, the least he could do was go out for one night. Jackson says that Rune might even have a good time. Rune asks why they can't just go out alone. Jackson begs Rune. They go back to the door. Sookie and Jackson walk off together. Lorelai and Rune stare at each other. Rune walks away alone. Lorelai walks through the door, shuts it, stands there, and then walks away. Lorelai! You forgot to lock your door! Oh, well. It's Stars Hollow. They don't have room for theives.
Dinner. Everyone's staring at their menus. Well, except for Rune, who is just staring at Lorelai. He asks her what size shoe she wears. She tells him she wears a nine. ["So does Sars! Shout-out?" -- Wing Chun] This shocks Rune. Sookie wonders to Lorelai if the mussels are fresh. Lorelai says that the menu says "Fresh Mussels," so they probably are. Sookie starts prattling on about how sometimes they'll say "fresh mussels" but they're really frozen and not fresh at all. Jackson nods and smiles along, even thought Sookie isn't looking in his direction. She says that lots of times they have the mussels sitting around in their own excretions. Lorelai interrupts her and begs her not to order the mussels, even if they are fresh. Everyone is quiet for a few seconds. Jackson wonders where this fancy restaurant gets their carrots. He says the carrot crop this year has been "really mealy." Sookie gives Jackson an, "Okay, Carrot Top," face and Jackson shuts up. Lorelai sighs and turns to Rune. She asks, "What is that...Rune?" Rune asks what she means. "I mean, where did Rune come from?" Rune says that he's from out of town, and he thought Jackson had already told her that. He also just flew in and his arms are tired. Lorelai says it's an interesting name and she wondered where it came from. Rune says it was his dad's name. Lorelai asks where he got it. Rune gets all defensive and says, "I don't know. From his parents, I guess." Lorelai backs off and says they're done with that topic just as the waiter shows up. Sookie asks if the mussels are fresh. The waiter has the scariest eyes I've ever seen as he says, "Yes, they are." Don't order the mussels, Sookie! Look at that waiter's eyes! Clearly the mussels are people! Fresh mussels are people! He's got eyes like Norman Bates telling us he'd never hurt a fly. Everyone starts asking about the freshness of the food until Lorelai interrupts to say she'd like a martini. "And keep 'em coming," she adds. ScaryWaiter leaves.
I don't understand this small town, but Rory and CuteDean are in line in front of that bookstore place that shows old movies. Stars Hollow can't have a movie theater? And these poor kids can't even drive into Hartford to see a new movie? Why don't they just rent a movie, then? Anyway, tonight they are being tortured by Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman, because Lorelai is tall. CuteDean teases Rory for looking behind them at Lane and Todd. Lane and Todd are about two back in line. CuteDean has a possessive arm clutching Rory's back. Rory says she just wants to make sure they're having fun. CuteDean says they are having fun, or at least they're having more fun than if they were in prison or being tortured. CuteDean kisses Rory on the top of the head.
Pan back to Lane and Todd. Lane is going on about how all of these girls are screaming and cheering for Beck and they don't realize that he's supposed to be pretending to be a rock star and is a parody of a rock star, and not a real rock star, but the screaming girls just don't get it. Then Lane starts going on about how much she loves Beck. It's a good musician to give her to gush over, because most Beck fans I meet get all crazy about Beck like that. All talking about how he's a genius and only they understand his real message and how everyone else that likes him likes him for all of the wrong reasons. Todd is looking anywhere but at Lane. At one point he gives her the, "Well, why don't you go date Beck, then?" look. Then Lane starts talking about the Foo Fighters. At first it sounds like she's about to diss them, but then she gushes about the acoustic version of "Everlong," which isn't technically the Foo Fighters, since it's just Dave Grohl on Howard Stern, but at least the Foos are getting mentioned. You see, I understand Dave Grohl. I know that he's more than just a rock star. He's also my imaginary boyfriend. So it's funny to me to see all of these screaming girls by into his single boy image when his imaginary shape gets into my bed every night. They don't know. We're in love. I love Dave Grohl. Todd's still not talking to Lane, so she tries a different approach. She says that lately she's really gotten into the Velvet Underground. She's also into Nico, and offers to let Todd borrow her CD at some point. He's still not talking. She asks him what kind of music he likes. "I don't know. Whatever," he says with a smile. "Fugazi?" she asks him. Todd gets all offended, like that was a personal question. "The band on your shirt," she says to him. Todd looks down at his shirt and says, "Huh. Cool picture," and then laughs at himself. He says it's his sister's shirt. Rory peeks over at Lane. Lane looks back. Rory's face is turned away by CuteDean, which looks incredibly rude from this angle. Lane asks Todd if he likes books. He makes a noise like, "Nnnmnmnnmn." She asks if he likes magazines. He looks at her and then looks at the ground. She asks about school. She asks what he's going to major in. He says he was thinking about Gym. If he majors in Gym, he only has to take four classes his senior year. What high school has you declare a major, anyway? ["Yeah, really. I thought that was an American thing." -- Wing Chun] Lane says, "Cool," and we pan across the other teenagers all waiting in line to see an old B-movie at a bookstore. I don't understand this.
Rory has been using the Supersonic Ears of Perception, and is hearing how the date is bombing. "Gym?" she asks CuteDean. CuteDean says they work on their bikes together. Hey, Lorelai was right. Remember how Rory said that CuteDean didn't have a motorcycle, and Lorelai was like, "Don't ride on his motorcycle," because she knew he'd have one eventually? And now he does. Unless CuteDean is talking about a Schwinn, but I doubt it.
Pan across the fancy dinner table where Rune looks bored and Jackson looks uncomfortable. Sookie is sharing funny stories about her and Lorelai, but she's only sharing the stories with Lorelai. She isn't even looking in Jackson's direction. Sookie keeps talking as Lorelai surveys the table and sees Rune staring at her and Jackson looking down, sighing. Lorelai takes a sip from her martini and sees Rune cutting the heads off of the swan sculptures on the table. Lorelai tells Jackson that Sookie has been experimenting with different forms of baking for a long time. Jackson leans in and says that's very interesting. Sookie agrees, and then turns back to Lorelai to share another funny story. Jackson looks down again. Lorelai says to Sookie, "Hey, let's go powder our noses." "You'll need a lot of powder," Rune says under his breath. Lorelai ignores the comment and pulls Sookie away.
In a side room, Lorelai tells Sookie that no matter how many beers Sookie buys for Lorelai tonight, Lorelai 's not the one that might go home with Sookie. She says that Sookie hasn't said a word to Jackson all night. Sookie says she's nervous. "You're nervous? You don't have some guy staring at you like he's Cher and you're the kid from Mask." Hee. Sookie says she can't think of anything to say to Jackson. She says the place is too fancy, her hair is too tight, her dress is all wrong, and Jackson looks really good. Lorelai says that in five seconds she can take her hair down, they can go someplace more casual, and that Sookie is wrong about the dress. Lorelai suggests they go to Luke's, have burgers, just talk and relax. Sookie says that'd be good. They leave.
At the movie, Rory and CuteDean sit in one row while Lane and Todd sit in another. Lane leans in and asks Todd what his favorite movie is. He says it's Beethoven. She's all, "The one with the dog?" and Todd goes into his favorite scene. Okay, here's where I'm not buying it anymore. No one's favorite movie is Beethoven. Either Todd is retarded, or the writers just don't know how to write for apathetic teen boys. I'm leaning towards the second, here. He's more Spicoli than Spicoli, and I don't understand how Lane would have talked to him twice already and thought she'd like him since he's unable to hold up a conversation even slightly. I also don't understand how CuteDean would be his friend, even if they were shop buddies. I'd think that CuteDean would have told Rory a while ago, "He's not right for Lane because he's kinda retarded, and you and me and Lane are kinda snobby about people's tastes." There's also something about this "movie theater" where people are allowed to sit in the center of the room and talk loudly and no one cares, even though this room is about the size of my bedroom. We see a shot of a woman running, screaming, from a big giant hairy monster arm. Wait, what movie are they supposed to be watching again?
Luke's. The gang enters, and Jackson says this is much better. Lorelai tells them to take a seat. She goes over to the counter and tells Luke that she needs "four menus, one coffee and an anvil, please." She tells Luke the anvil is for Rune. "What's a Rune?" Luke asks. "Please. Not that question again," Lorelai says. Lorelai looks over at the quiet table and asks Luke if she can hang out at the counter for a few minutes. As he pours her coffee, she tells him about this horrible double date. "I'm too tall," she tells him, as she pours cream into her coffee. Lorelai doesn't usually take cream in her coffee. Luke says that Rune doesn't know how great it is to date tall girls. "You can get all the stuff from the top shelf," he tells her. She says that's exactly what she brings to a relationship, and asks Luke to explain that to Rune for her. Luke stares at her for a second while she sips. Lorelai stops to tell Luke that he's made an exceptional batch of coffee. He confesses that he added a little nutmeg. "That's very...Richard Simmons of you," Lorelai teases. Luke says that "chicks dig a man with a feminine side."
Rune jumps up from the table and announces that he'd like to go because he's very bored. Jackson tells him to sit down and that they are about to order. Rune says he doesn't want to order. He doesn't want to eat there. He says he went out because Jackson told him he'd have fun. "First, I get stuck with her. Then I get dragged into a French restaurant. Then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now." Lorelai tells him he's at Luke's. Rune sighs and says he's been very patient this evening. He wants to go out bowling with just Jackson. Jackson looks at Sookie and stammers, but Sookie's not looking at Jackson. Jackson, figuring that Sookie wants him to leave, starts to get up, but Sookie says, "Don't go." She says she wants him to stay and that they haven't really started their date yet. Jackson agrees that they haven't, and tells Rune that he's on his own for the evening. Rune says, "Fine! I'll just see you at home then. Maybe." "Bye, Loon!" Lorelai shouts as Rune walks out the door.
"Finally," Lorelai says as she and Luke watch Sookie and Jackson start talking. Luke says that Lorelai will only need three menus now. Lorelai orders three burgers and says to send two over to the table. She says she'll eat at the counter. Luke says that first he had to watch a man walk out on her and now he has to watch her eat alone. Lorelai says she's not alone because he's there. He says he's working. She says that after three cheeseburgers he's done, "unless [he's] expecting Elijah to stop by." Instead of even making one burger, Luke pulls out a deck of cards. "Five card draw," he announces. Lorelai is very happy, and pushes her coffee away. Luke deals. She asks for four cards. Then she asks for four more. Luke says she can't ask for another four cards, but Lorelai pouts and gets her way. Luke and Lorelai watch Sookie and Jackson giggle at their table. They comment on how nice the beginning part of a relationship is when everything is funny and every touch is the best touch ever. Lorelai says she misses that. "You'll have it again," Luke says. "I guess," Lorelai says.
Through the diner window we see MamaLane walking by. She stops and looks at Lorelai.
Back inside, Luke is stumbling out an awkward request to maybe sometime do something sorta like a date with Lorelai. MamaLane barges in, scaring Lorelai, asking where the girls are. She says she's called three times thinking that maybe they were out getting food or getting a movie. Lorelai says they were going to a movie. "With who?" MamaLane asks. Lorelai tells her that they were going to meet CuteDean. "A boy?" MamaLane is horrified. Lorelai smiles and explains that CuteDean is Rory's boyfriend. "Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesn't mean I let mine." Lorelai says she thought MamaLane knew. MamaLane says she didn't know at all and now the girls could be out doing anything, like smoking or drinking or buying drugs. Lorelai insists that they are at the movies. "There's no drugs there. They don't even have the real Red Vines." MamaLane says she needs to find them, and Lorelai says she'll go with her. Luke watches Lorelai leave and pouts into his cards.
The movie has ended. Todd walks out to CuteDean and Lane is walking behind them. Rory asks Lane what she thought of the movie. She says she thinks it's really late and she should be getting home. Todd asks her to stay out with them, and suggests they go out and get themselves ice cream headaches. I'm not kidding. Lane is about to leave when she hears the sound of a roar. "Lane Kim!" Lane and Rory look down the street. Lane: "My mom!" Rory: "My mom!" Todd: "Two moms! That's gotta be bad!" Lane tries explaining, but MamaLane keeps yelling, barking that Lane needs to go home immediately. Rory tries to talk to Lorelai, but Lorelai tells her it's not the time. Lane runs home. "Whoa. Rough family," Todd says. CuteDean asks Rory what's going on. Lorelai says that the mothers weren't told all of the information about tonight. Rory apologizes. Lorelai says it's time for them to go. CuteDean says he'll call Rory later. Lorelai makes a noise, and CuteDean says he'll call her tomorrow. As Rory and Lorelai walk away, Todd shouts, "That's Rory's mom? She's a babe!" Really, I hope that's the last of Todd ever. Lorelai tells Rory that she shouldn't have lied to her. Rory says she knows but that Lane really wanted to go on a date with Todd, and she didn't want to put Lorelai in the position of having to lie to Lane's mom, so she just didn't tell her about the date part. "You lied to me so I wouldn't have to lie to Mrs. Kim? Oh, my God, you really are my daughter." Rory apologizes. Lorelai says she has to know where Rory is at all times, especially when she's borrowed her shoes. Rory says she hated doing it. Lorelai says that's good. Rory asks if Lorelai would have lied for them to MamaLane. "No," Lorelai says. Rory asks why. "Because that lady is scary," Lorelai says. Lorelai says she can't lie to another mother. "That's breaking the code." Rory asks what she should have done tonight. Lorelai says that she knows MamaLane is like The Great Santini, but she's Lane's mother and has the right to tell Lane that she can't do something. "So we were in a no-win situation tonight," Rory says. Lorelai agrees. "Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this?" Lorelai asks. Rory: "What?" Lorelai: "That I'm a babe."
Rory has climbed a tree that looks suspiciously like a tree and window scene we've seen before. This time it's supposed to be Lane's room. "What's up, Rapunzel?" Rory asks her. Lane says that she's had various fantasies about people showing up at that window, but Rory was never in one of them. Rory asks how Lane is doing, and says she hasn't heard from her in days. She says she was afraid to call. Lane says that's probably for the best, but that she's okay. Rory apologizes and says she shouldn't have arranged it. Lane says that there's no need to apologize because Rory only arranged it because she asked her to, and that she's glad Rory did it. She says that if Rory hadn't hooked her up with Todd, then she'd still be in love with him. Rory tells her that Todd likes her, though. He told CuteDean. "I know. He called here," Lane says. She pretended to be her mother on the phone and told him never to call her. Rory tells her that Todd and CuteDean went muffler shopping today. Then she sort of giggles. Then Lane says that's cool and she kinda giggles, and that's sort of the end of that conversation, on that strange note. Rory asks when Lane will be able to get out. Lane says right now she has to be in the house at all times except for school and church. Rory says she misses her. Lane misses her too. Rory asks if there's anything she can do. Lane asks her to not tell anyone she went out with Todd. Rory promises. They hear a noise and Lane shuts her window.
Lorelai enters the antique shop and sees MamaLane telling a customer that since he broke a lamp, he has to buy it. The customer says that the lamp was placed precariously in the hallway, and he couldn't help bumping into it. MamaLane asks him if he has eyes and if they function and if they send messages to his brain that says, "Lamp in the way" and tell him to move. She says that if all of those things work, then he broke the lamp and he has to pay for it. He hands her the money and walks away. "We appreciate your business," she says sweetly, and he leaves. Lorelai asks if she can talk to her quickly. They walk to a back room. Lorelai apologizes for the other night and says that Rory hasn't ever lied to her before. She says she didn't want MamaLane to feel like she couldn't send Lane over to the house anymore, because she keeps watch on them when they're over. MamaLane says Lane won't be coming over to the house because she's grounded. Lorelai says that Lane has to be let out sometime. "Lane lied to me and she must be punished," MamaLane says. Lorelai agrees, and says that Lane is a really good kid. She says she doesn't know a kid that respects her parents more than Lane respects her. "Lying is not showing respect," MamaLane says. Lorelai says that Lane is sixteen and she had a crush on a boy. MamaLane says that Lane isn't allowed to see boys and she knows that and she broke the rules. Lorelai says she agrees, but that teenagers sometimes make mistakes. MamaLane says she doesn't care what teenagers do, she only cares what Lane does. Wow, that's a Mom line if I've ever heard one. My mom was famous for that sentence. Lorelai says that it doesn't always work to just lock a kid up and throw away the key. MamaLane says they didn't throw the key away, and that it's in the kitchen. This throws Lorelai back for a second, and then Lorelai begins the Young Mother Monologue again, about how since her parents were strict, she got pregnant. MamaLane scoffs that she blames her parents for getting pregnant. Lorelai says she doesn't blame them, but if she had more space it might not have happened. But she says she got lucky, because Rory is the best thing in her life. She says she doesn't want Rory to turn out like her. "I don't want Lane to turn out like you, either," MamaLane says. Lorelai is happy they've found something the both agree on. They say they just want their daughters to be safe. Lorelai says she's going to leave, but she wants to tell MamaLane that she thinks she's doing a great job with Lane. As she leaves, she knocks something in the walkway, breaks it and pays for it.
Luke's. It's daytime, so I almost don't recognize it. Lorelai has scored an A- on her business test. Rory is very impressed. The kid that sits behind Lorelai only got a B+. Rory calls him a loser. Lorelai tells Rory that Jackson and Sookie have their third date this week. Some crazy hand comes out from the side of the screen, just as y'all have been discussing on the forum, and I have to say, it looks like an extra walking out with her bag, and only her hand is in the shot. Rory's pager goes off. It's Lane. She borrows Lorelai's cell phone and says she's going to take it outside because Luke has the "no cell phones" rule. Lorelai watches Luke at the counter for a few seconds.
Rory calls Lane. She's standing out in the yard by her house. She rejoices and jumps up and down that her mother is letting her stand in the yard as far as the antiques sign. She gets too excited and almost crosses the line. She stops herself, backs up, and checks to see if her mother saw her.
Inside Luke's, Luke brings Lorelai a cup of coffee. He asks how everything turned out. Lorelai says it was fine. They are a little awkward with each other. Lorelai says she had a good time the other night. Luke says that she rushed out before he had a chance to... He fades out and Lorelai asks him what he was going to say. "Kick your ass in poker," he finishes. Lorelai looks a bit disappointed, shakes it off and says, "You wish!" They laugh. She orders two burgers. He says that maybe they could do it again sometime. She says she'd like that. Rory runs in and hands over the phone. She says she's going to run over to Lane's house and stand across the street and yell at her. Lane's only allowed out for fifteen minutes, so she'll be right back. Lorelai watches Luke behind the counter again as we fade to black. At this point, a certain nameless someone turns to me and says, "No. It's too early for Lorelai to get involved with Luke." I wipe his tear and tell him that Lorelai is a big girl, and she knows what she's doing. My roommate Ray sits down with a cup of Chocolate Fudge Brownie and says, "If he hurts her, I'll never forgive him."