Double Date

This will be a bit of an experiment. This recap is falling on the first day of my period. Oh, don't wince. Come on, this is a really girly show, and I think that perhaps all of our periods are going to start happening at the same time from this show, anyway. There's a lot of estrogen around here, is all I'm saying. But it's making me incredibly crabby and cynical and lots of other emotions that I don't normally have, and I'm wondering what that'll do to a Gilmore Girls recap. I'm thinking my tolerance for long-winded discussions that boil down to three-word questions is going to be much lower than usual. I also think that I won't want to recap rapid-fire dialogue that ends in a wistful lip-pursing from Lorelai. See? I'm already judging and I haven't started. That's it. I'm ordering a chocolate shake.

Previously on Gilmore Girls: Luke and Lorelai flirted. Emily asked Luke what was going on between him and Lorelai, and said that they're idiots for thinking they're just friends. Lane felt neglected with CuteDean in Rory's life. Going into the Way-Back Machine, we see Jackson arguing with Sookie over strawberries. Then they argue about a "zucchini tush." Back, back to the Thanksgiving episode, Lane confessed that she's been talking to CuteDean's best friend Todd. Lorelai accidentally snapped at Sookie for not having had a relationship in a while. Sookie got up enough courage to ask Jackson if he'd like to go out to dinner sometime. Jackson stammered an "Okay."

Exterior shot of Gilmore home. The alarm rings. Rory walks out her door and shouts, "Mom!" The music kicks in. Lorelai moves the coffee pot over to fill her cup. Rory starts making Pop Tarts (possible Popstars shout-out?). Rory pulls her cup of coffee out from the maker and puts the pot back in. Lorelai grabs a paper towel in time for the World's Fastest Toaster to finish the Pop Tarts. Rory grabs a Pop Tart, picks up her backpack, and walks over to Lorelai. Lorelai grabs Rory's mug so Rory can tie the front of Lorelai's shirt. Rory grabs her mug back and Lorelai pulls the clip out of Rory's hair and gives her a "you weren't going to wear this, right?" look. Lorelai tosses the clip, the music hits the last note, and the girls walk out the door.

Opening credits. Oh, Gilmore Girls. Thank you so much for that. The first scene in this show's history that didn't palsy my fingers from transcribing.

Lane dumps a pile of CDs onto Rory's table. From here I can see the Meat Puppets and the Best of Blondie. Rory says, "Wow. You went new CD crazy." Lane says there was a good selection today. Rory starts going through the CDs, pointing out Kraftwerk and the Meat Puppets. She stops on Yoko Ono. "A very misunderstood artist and the Beatles would have broken up anyway," Lane says. "Have you shared this theory with anyone else?" Rory asks. "I know it. Yoko knows it. Sean knows it. Julian's still in denial, but what can you do?" I think, perhaps, Julian is still in denial because Yoko and Sean are still making LennonBucks, where poor Julian is hoping Kodak might be interested in using "It's Much Too Late (For Goodbyes)" for an upcoming commercial. Rory opens a CD, declaring that with a name like Claudine Longet, she must find out what it sounds like. Rory puts the CD in and Lane asks for a favor. She asks Rory if she remembers Todd, CuteDean's friend. Rory says she does. Lane goes on about how cool Todd is. She then says that she's ready to ask Rory the question, but she's interrupted by Lorelai. Because the last scene was so easy to recap, Lorelai has to bust out with this: "Hey! I'm studying in there. Yeah, I have, like, six thousand pages of case studies to memorize and this whole big test on the Wal-Mart phenomenon coming up on Friday, [so turn the music down] and because I have a life, and a job [so turn the music down], and Business School's not only thing I have to concentrate on, I'm behind [so turn the music down], and I'll probably fail, and then that little eighteen-year-old annoying gnat that sits behind me [so turn the music down] will get another A, and make that 'I'm smart. You're dumb' face to me for the rest of the week [so turn the music down] and I'll be very upset and will possibly cry." Rory: "The music's too loud." Lorelai: "Yes." Rory: "Got it." Lorelai: "Thank you." I don't know if it's a good sign that, after that exchange, the people in the room watching with me started complimenting not Lauren Graham's acting ability, but how good she is at memorization. Lorelai leaves the room, and Lane asks Rory if she'll talk to CuteDean about talking to Todd about talking about her. Lane asks Rory if she'll ask CuteDean to ask Todd out for her. Lane says she'd like this date to be this weekend, preferably Sunday, after church. Rory begins to stammer her objections, but Lorelai walks back in and complains that the music is now too quiet. Rory turns the music up and Lane turns back to talk, but Lorelai walks back into the room and asks, "Who the hell is that, anyway?" Rory says that it's Claudine Longet. Lorelai gasps and says, "The chick who shot the skier?" "Um, sure. Why not?" Rory says. Lorelai marvels at Claudine Longet for being a "Renaissance woman," and leaves the room. For more Claudine Longet information, see here. Rory asks Lane if she wants her to set her up with Todd. Lane says she was also thinking that Rory and CuteDean could come along on a double date. Rory doesn't look very excited about it, so Lane tells her to forget it. I'm trying to think if I've ever gone on a double date in my life. I don't think I have. One time a boy asked me to double date, but it was because he didn't have a car, so he was going to have his older brother drop us off at the Taco Bell, then pick us back up and drop us off at the dollar cinema so we could catch Jacob's Ladder. I declined that double-date action, and was never asked on one again. Lane tries to change the subject by talking about her Granddaddy CD that she just bought, but Rory says that she doesn't really know Todd. "I do," Lane says. "You've met him twice," Rory reminds her. Lane says that the third time is a charm. Rory asks how Lane knows this Todd guy is so special. Lane says that they are soulmates. Rory says that the last time Lane had a soulmate, she ended up running her fingers through his hair and then hiding in Rory's bedroom all night long. Lane says that Rich was a mistake, and that this is different. "First of all, his name is Todd. Different name. Different guy." Lorelai runs in, turns off the music, and asks how important this whole business-school thing is, anyway. She says it's not that important to run her own inn. She likes her job the way it is. She says she doesn't want to be one of those people who is never satisfied with anything. This launches into a long diatribe about the importance of arms and legs and how she at least has both of those things and therefore doesn't need a business degree because having her own inn won't change the fact that she has arms and legs. Lorelai sighs and says, "Wal-Mart is boring." "Study!" Rory orders. Lorelai makes a noise and leaves the room. Lane asks if Rory will do it. Rory says she will. Lane: "Really?" Rory: "Yes, Yoko." Lane hugs her. Lorelai walks back into the room, sits down between the two girls and asks what they're doing.

Independence Inn. Michel walks over to Lorelai. He Frenches around that he has a problem, but isn't sure if Lorelai is ready to hear it. Lorelai asks what the problem is. "We're overbooked," Michel tells her. "How are we overbooked?" Lorelai asks. "Well, there are more people here than there are rooms to put them in," Michel says. Lorelai moves the guests around and tells Michel to offer them dinner for their inconvenience. Now, I don't know much about inns, and maybe it's different because it's supposed to be in a remote location, but you overbook hotels all the time. In fact, you should have your hotel overbooked, because people cancel last-minute all the time.

Okay, so my back just sorta tightened up and went out over the past half-hour. This isn't due to Gilmore Girls, but I think this will add to the overall bitchiness that you might have been picking up from me on this thing. I'm now lying very still on a chair, leaning back, typing on my laptop. I can raise my left arm just enough to operate my VCR remote. Oh, and I think my VCR is finally dying, after a year and some change of recaps. I guess there's only so much a four-head track machine is willing to put up with.

Lorelai enters the kitchen and finds Sookie working on a variation of Baked Alaska. Well, Sookie's got the meringue part, but she doesn't know what she wants to do with the actual Baked Alaska. Lorelai offers a few suggestions, including shaping it like the state of Alaska. Jackson walk in with carrots. They both immediately get nervous, and sort of talk to each other in half-sentences. Jackson: "I brought you...um..." Sookie: "Yeah, yeah, uh...great! Just put them down there." Lorelai watches Jackson and Sookie stammer around discussing how the carrots look good on the table until Jackson starts to leave. Sookie stops him to say she needs squash. He says he'll bring some by the same time tomorrow. Sookie says that would be perfect. Jackson stammers away, stops to say something, but changes his mind. He leaves. Lorelai asks, "Okay. So. Who walked in on who [sic] naked?" Sookie says she had asked Jackson to dinner. Lorelai says she remembers and that it was weeks ago. Sookie says that since she hadn't put a definite time or date on it, the date request is just floating around out there and now it should be Jackson's turn to ask her out and maybe now he doesn't want to go out with her anymore. Lorelai suggests that perhaps Jackson thinks that Sookie doesn't want to go out with him anymore since she hasn't asked again. Lorelai says that Sookie could either wait around for Jackson to realize it's his turn or she can just ask him again. Sookie says she doesn't want to ask him again. "I wanna be the girl," she whines, which is just so damn endearing. Lorelai says that Sookie is the girl, and that's why she's having this confusing conversation. She tells Sookie to ask Jackson out for Sunday, since that's her day off, and that she should call him up right now and ask him. There is a lengthy discussion about the reason cell phones were invented so that Sookie can avoid calling him. Lorelai is wearing this green shiny shirt that looks like a pajama top. Lorelai teases Sookie for knowing Jackson's cell phone number by heart and Sookie immediately starts blabbing to Jackson's voicemail. She keeps on talking about how nice the carrots are until Lorelai tells her to hang up. Lorelai says that now Sookie's got some time to think of some places where they could go on their date. Sookie grabs a piece of paper and starts to write a list, until Lorelai points out that Sookie is trying to write with a spoon. Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaaah!

Pan up from a copy of The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath to Rory sitting on a bench. How very sixteen. CuteDean spots her from across the street and starts walking towards her, cutely. Well, except for the polar fleece he's wearing. That's got to go. Even Old Navy has apologized for that one by now. "Is there anything in there about me?" CuteDean asks Rory about her book. "I don't know," Rory says. "Your name wouldn't be Lithium, would it?" Ha. CuteDean asks Rory why she's not in school. She had a half-day today for teacher conferences. She thought she'd come by and surprise him. He teases her that she knows how much he hates surprises. Rory says she knows and that she's very sorry. He kisses her. "That's for surprising me," he says. "I have learned my lesson," Rory retorts. More kissing. Rory breaks away and says she needs to talk to him about something. He says he needs to talk to her too, and starts kissing her again. She pulls away and says, "Okay, stop." CuteDean apologizes, and then starts leaning in again. "No, stay!" Rory points, and CuteDean hangs back. She says she really needs to talk to him about something, so CuteDean packs up his dimples and sits back. She asks him what he thinks about Todd. CuteDean says that since Todd is his friend, he obviously has a good opinion of him. CuteDean asks if he can kiss her now, but Rory says she's not done yet. Rory tells CuteDean that Lane really likes Todd and she thinks the two of them would really hit it off. "You don't even know Todd," CuteDean points out. Rory says she knows that but since CuteDean knows him and likes him, then it should be fine. CuteDean says he'd really like to kiss her now. Rory says she'd like to kiss him, too. CuteDean moves in for the kill, but Rory backs up and says that they should set Lane and Todd up. Rory says they could all go out to a movie together on Sunday. CuteDean leans back and shakes his head. He starts to say something, but Rory interrupts to say it would all be very casual. CuteDean says he's just not sure that he sees them together. "You don't think that Todd would like Lane?" Rory asks. "I'm not sure," CuteDean responds. Rory gives a huff and says, "Lane is great!" CuteDean says he knows that. "She's my best friend," Rory adds. CuteDean agrees. "Todd should be so lucky to get a girl like her." As Rory looks away we get a distant shot of Rory and CuteDean on this bench. My Lord, that CuteDean is tall. He's practically folded in half on the bench to talk to her at her level. Rory asks if CuteDean thinks that Lane isn't good enough or pretty enough for Todd, and CuteDean says he didn't say anything of the sort. He says he just doesn't know what kind of girl Todd likes. He says that still, if Rory wants to do this, then he'll talk to Todd. He says he'll mention Sunday to him. Dimples are unpacked. Rory thanks him cutely, and they go back to kissing. Commercial. Rory might have been manipulative in this scene, but she still did it cutely.

Lorelai is going through her big giant Wal-Mart book at the front desk of the Inn. She starts throwing a temper tantrum and says to Michel, "I give up." Insert gigantic pout. "That's the spirit," Michel says to her. He says that perhaps she isn't cut out to be her own boss, and is more of a "worker bee, a follower." He compares her to the people in parking lots who wave orange glowsticks at you and tell you where to park. "You're baiting me, aren't you?" Lorelai squints. "No!" Michel says. "I seriously have no faith in your aptitude." Hee.

Pan across the fancy dinner table where Rune looks bored and Jackson looks uncomfortable. Sookie is sharing funny stories about her and Lorelai, but she's only sharing the stories with Lorelai. She isn't even looking in Jackson's direction. Sookie keeps talking as Lorelai surveys the table and sees Rune staring at her and Jackson looking down, sighing. Lorelai takes a sip from her martini and sees Rune cutting the heads off of the swan sculptures on the table. Lorelai tells Jackson that Sookie has been experimenting with different forms of baking for a long time. Jackson leans in and says that's very interesting. Sookie agrees, and then turns back to Lorelai to share another funny story. Jackson looks down again. Lorelai says to Sookie, "Hey, let's go powder our noses." "You'll need a lot of powder," Rune says under his breath. Lorelai ignores the comment and pulls Sookie away.

In a side room, Lorelai tells Sookie that no matter how many beers Sookie buys for Lorelai tonight, Lorelai 's not the one that might go home with Sookie. She says that Sookie hasn't said a word to Jackson all night. Sookie says she's nervous. "You're nervous? You don't have some guy staring at you like he's Cher and you're the kid from Mask." Hee. Sookie says she can't think of anything to say to Jackson. She says the place is too fancy, her hair is too tight, her dress is all wrong, and Jackson looks really good. Lorelai says that in five seconds she can take her hair down, they can go someplace more casual, and that Sookie is wrong about the dress. Lorelai suggests they go to Luke's, have burgers, just talk and relax. Sookie says that'd be good. They leave.

At the movie, Rory and CuteDean sit in one row while Lane and Todd sit in another. Lane leans in and asks Todd what his favorite movie is. He says it's Beethoven. She's all, "The one with the dog?" and Todd goes into his favorite scene. Okay, here's where I'm not buying it anymore. No one's favorite movie is Beethoven. Either Todd is retarded, or the writers just don't know how to write for apathetic teen boys. I'm leaning towards the second, here. He's more Spicoli than Spicoli, and I don't understand how Lane would have talked to him twice already and thought she'd like him since he's unable to hold up a conversation even slightly. I also don't understand how CuteDean would be his friend, even if they were shop buddies. I'd think that CuteDean would have told Rory a while ago, "He's not right for Lane because he's kinda retarded, and you and me and Lane are kinda snobby about people's tastes." There's also something about this "movie theater" where people are allowed to sit in the center of the room and talk loudly and no one cares, even though this room is about the size of my bedroom. We see a shot of a woman running, screaming, from a big giant hairy monster arm. Wait, what movie are they supposed to be watching again?

Luke's. The gang enters, and Jackson says this is much better. Lorelai tells them to take a seat. She goes over to the counter and tells Luke that she needs "four menus, one coffee and an anvil, please." She tells Luke the anvil is for Rune. "What's a Rune?" Luke asks. "Please. Not that question again," Lorelai says. Lorelai looks over at the quiet table and asks Luke if she can hang out at the counter for a few minutes. As he pours her coffee, she tells him about this horrible double date. "I'm too tall," she tells him, as she pours cream into her coffee. Lorelai doesn't usually take cream in her coffee. Luke says that Rune doesn't know how great it is to date tall girls. "You can get all the stuff from the top shelf," he tells her. She says that's exactly what she brings to a relationship, and asks Luke to explain that to Rune for her. Luke stares at her for a second while she sips. Lorelai stops to tell Luke that he's made an exceptional batch of coffee. He confesses that he added a little nutmeg. "That's very...Richard Simmons of you," Lorelai teases. Luke says that "chicks dig a man with a feminine side."

Rune jumps up from the table and announces that he'd like to go because he's very bored. Jackson tells him to sit down and that they are about to order. Rune says he doesn't want to order. He doesn't want to eat there. He says he went out because Jackson told him he'd have fun. "First, I get stuck with her. Then I get dragged into a French restaurant. Then I get dragged out of a French restaurant. God knows where I am now." Lorelai tells him he's at Luke's. Rune sighs and says he's been very patient this evening. He wants to go out bowling with just Jackson. Jackson looks at Sookie and stammers, but Sookie's not looking at Jackson. Jackson, figuring that Sookie wants him to leave, starts to get up, but Sookie says, "Don't go." She says she wants him to stay and that they haven't really started their date yet. Jackson agrees that they haven't, and tells Rune that he's on his own for the evening. Rune says, "Fine! I'll just see you at home then. Maybe." "Bye, Loon!" Lorelai shouts as Rune walks out the door.

"Finally," Lorelai says as she and Luke watch Sookie and Jackson start talking. Luke says that Lorelai will only need three menus now. Lorelai orders three burgers and says to send two over to the table. She says she'll eat at the counter. Luke says that first he had to watch a man walk out on her and now he has to watch her eat alone. Lorelai says she's not alone because he's there. He says he's working. She says that after three cheeseburgers he's done, "unless [he's] expecting Elijah to stop by." Instead of even making one burger, Luke pulls out a deck of cards. "Five card draw," he announces. Lorelai is very happy, and pushes her coffee away. Luke deals. She asks for four cards. Then she asks for four more. Luke says she can't ask for another four cards, but Lorelai pouts and gets her way. Luke and Lorelai watch Sookie and Jackson giggle at their table. They comment on how nice the beginning part of a relationship is when everything is funny and every touch is the best touch ever. Lorelai says she misses that. "You'll have it again," Luke says. "I guess," Lorelai says.

Through the diner window we see MamaLane walking by. She stops and looks at Lorelai.

Back inside, Luke is stumbling out an awkward request to maybe sometime do something sorta like a date with Lorelai. MamaLane barges in, scaring Lorelai, asking where the girls are. She says she's called three times thinking that maybe they were out getting food or getting a movie. Lorelai says they were going to a movie. "With who?" MamaLane asks. Lorelai tells her that they were going to meet CuteDean. "A boy?" MamaLane is horrified. Lorelai smiles and explains that CuteDean is Rory's boyfriend. "Just because you let your daughter run around with boys doesn't mean I let mine." Lorelai says she thought MamaLane knew. MamaLane says she didn't know at all and now the girls could be out doing anything, like smoking or drinking or buying drugs. Lorelai insists that they are at the movies. "There's no drugs there. They don't even have the real Red Vines." MamaLane says she needs to find them, and Lorelai says she'll go with her. Luke watches Lorelai leave and pouts into his cards.

The movie has ended. Todd walks out to CuteDean and Lane is walking behind them. Rory asks Lane what she thought of the movie. She says she thinks it's really late and she should be getting home. Todd asks her to stay out with them, and suggests they go out and get themselves ice cream headaches. I'm not kidding. Lane is about to leave when she hears the sound of a roar. "Lane Kim!" Lane and Rory look down the street. Lane: "My mom!" Rory: "My mom!" Todd: "Two moms! That's gotta be bad!" Lane tries explaining, but MamaLane keeps yelling, barking that Lane needs to go home immediately. Rory tries to talk to Lorelai, but Lorelai tells her it's not the time. Lane runs home. "Whoa. Rough family," Todd says. CuteDean asks Rory what's going on. Lorelai says that the mothers weren't told all of the information about tonight. Rory apologizes. Lorelai says it's time for them to go. CuteDean says he'll call Rory later. Lorelai makes a noise, and CuteDean says he'll call her tomorrow. As Rory and Lorelai walk away, Todd shouts, "That's Rory's mom? She's a babe!" Really, I hope that's the last of Todd ever. Lorelai tells Rory that she shouldn't have lied to her. Rory says she knows but that Lane really wanted to go on a date with Todd, and she didn't want to put Lorelai in the position of having to lie to Lane's mom, so she just didn't tell her about the date part. "You lied to me so I wouldn't have to lie to Mrs. Kim? Oh, my God, you really are my daughter." Rory apologizes. Lorelai says she has to know where Rory is at all times, especially when she's borrowed her shoes. Rory says she hated doing it. Lorelai says that's good. Rory asks if Lorelai would have lied for them to MamaLane. "No," Lorelai says. Rory asks why. "Because that lady is scary," Lorelai says. Lorelai says she can't lie to another mother. "That's breaking the code." Rory asks what she should have done tonight. Lorelai says that she knows MamaLane is like The Great Santini, but she's Lane's mother and has the right to tell Lane that she can't do something. "So we were in a no-win situation tonight," Rory says. Lorelai agrees. "Hey, you know the one good thing we all learned from this?" Lorelai asks. Rory: "What?" Lorelai: "That I'm a babe."