In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description! Finished? Click here to close.
Buddy, Jr. has arrived back in Dillon shuffling around in his long shorts and flip flops, ogling Tami Taylor's breasts (the NERVE!), breaking into his father's bar and getting puke drunk, stealing his dad's car and credit card and just generally acting like trash.
Now that's how trash acts like trash. If you want to see trash act like solid gold, just take a look at Mindy "Ole Sis" Collette, who shunts her own insecurities about the coltish Becky to the side when she sees Becky's shitty home life with her dad and stepmom. She invites Becky to live at the Playgirl Ranch for the longer term. Things keep looking up for Becky when Luke -- puffed up a bit from being recruited by TMU -- approaches her at the school dance and, like Trip Fontaine telling Lux Lisbon that she's a "stone fox" in The Virgin Suicides, he leans in and tells her that he's gonna take her out and the whole scene is just seriously hot.
Vince's father is still around and Vince is still angry about it. Vince is suspicious that his father, a former drug dealer, is going to bring the stuff back into the house and into his mom, a former drug addict. His father -- whose name I have not yet caught but I guess I should since it seems like he'll be around a while -- swears on his life that he's done with all that, but none of us should be too sure about that.
Jess is holding her own in the boy's locker room and that is NOT a euphemism. Vince is annoyed that she's there, and the target of so many of his teammates lewd jokes, but she isn't bothered by that so much as she is by Vince's "chivalry." As demeaning as her job seems, I guess she understands how that whole culture works, because she makes a strategy suggestion to Billy Riggins, who brings it to Coach (of course, unattributed) who accepts it and Jess smiles to herself. I am frustrated, watching her fold laundry while simultaneously running the world -- like every woman in the history of the freaking universe has done -- but Jess seems like maybe she has a plan. At least I hope she has a plan.
And the saga of Head T.A. Derek Bishop continues, with Julie swerving wildly between treating him coldly when sober, then showing up drunk on his doorstep for more rolling around. Ah, Julie Taylor, you are treating your first semester of college like it's a big paint-by-numbers image of Shit We All Regret.
Want more? The full recap starts right below!Vince and Jess canoodle youthfully and only partially-clothedly in bed at her house. Vince complains that he never sees her anymore and she reminds him that she sees him all the time, in the locker room, during fifth period, until her little brothers and friend show up at the bedroom window making googly eyes and noises at them. Vince runs outside to wrestle them to the ground.
At the Playgirl Ranch, Mindy goes for it while Kinect exercising when Becky comes in to ask a question. And, lord, this scene really punctures my own delusions of youthful appearance because the difference between Madison Burge's burnished buoyancy and Stacy Oristano's sad tiredness is just crazily apparent here. Mindy bends over, in pain from her workout, as Becky rattles on, asking permission to have some girls come over and talk about decorations for the upcoming dance. Mindy initially snarks, "When is your mom coming home from that casino boat?" but quickly comes around and tells Becky that it's fine, just no freakin' slumber parties. She gets back to her workout as Becky grins, tells her that she's looking good.
Buddy drives Buddy, Jr. from the airport. The kid is sullen and, frankly frightening. Buddy tries to bond over how crappy "chick flicks" are, then nudges him to come along to get something to eat. Buddy, Jr. speaks in grunts until he mentions "seitan," which he begs Buddy to not introduce into their diet. Buddy has no idea what seitan (he pronounces it "satan") is, and Buddy, Jr. explains that his stepdad, Rice Dream, thinks that it's "nature's meat." Buddy pauses a moment and notes quizzically, "Well nature already has meat. It's called a cow." For one brief half second, they bond. But then they drive past Buddy's former car dealership and Buddy, Jr. harshly notes that it's like "the saddest place in the world. You can't make anything in your life work, can you?"
Son Volt's "When the Wheels Don't Move" takes us over to the football field, where scouts have arrived and seem to have their eye on Luke in particular. Coach calls Luke over and introduces him to the coach from TMU, who praises him and asks if he'd like to come over to TMU and get a tour. Luke beams. Practice resumes and Coach notices a man in the stands watching Vince. He calls the kid over and asks who it is, and Vince tells him: it's his father. Coach asks to be introduced but Vince demurs, "How 'bout I don't, Coach?"
Credits. Buddy walks his son into East Dillon. Buddy, Jr., played by Jeff Rosick, is somewhat thick and quite squareheaded. He wears long jean shorts, shuffles around in flip-flops and has a baseball cap with a flat bill cocked on his head, earbuds firmly in his ears. Junior snarks about the school being "ghetto" when Tami comes up to greet them. The camera, following Junior's gaze, pans down to Tami's chest in a v-neck orange t-shirt. She greets him sweetly but quickly takes his number and holds the folders she has in her arms up against her chest. Buddy suggests his son take his hat off, which he does, but then he snarks to her about whether or not they do "shock treatments" there. Tami kind of laughs in response, but not very wholeheartedly, and Buddy asks his son to apologize to her, which he does. She asks to take him to the office and get him all set up with his schedule and such, but he just says he's got it and saunters off down the hallway. Tami, in mom code: "You must be thrilled." Buddy: "Yep, that's one word for it."
In the locker room, the guys make comments to Jess. One asks if she's washed his jeans yet, she retorts that she hasn't gotten to his man bra yet. Man boobs joke! Burn! Another guy holds up his cup and tells her she's got a phone call. Jess wonders what he's doing with it, he doesn't have anything big enough to fit in it. Small penis joke! Double burn! The kid asks her to at least put her number in it, and Vince, who's been overhearing all this, gets up and gets in his face, "Know who you're talking to here, yo." Jess tries to intervene but gets kind of shoved aside. She just shakes her head "Uh uh" and walks off. Vince follows her and they have an argument standing right outside the door to the locker room. She just wants to do her job, he can't believe she's mad that he was defending her. Coach wanders out, takes a look at the bickering couple, and wanders back into his office, wondering when the locker room became an episode of Dr. Phil.
Cut to his office where he has both kids in there. He tells them they are not to act as if they are in a relationship in the locker room, and they respond by saying fine... and then arguing with each other some more like they are in a relationship. Who's the drama queen, who's on the defensive, et cetera, until Coach bangs on his desk. He points at Vince, telling him to get used to her being the equipment manager, and points at Jess, telling her to do her job. She leaves and Vince tries to bond with Coach, "These women gettin' outta hand"-- which just makes me laugh. As if Coach is going to go there with you kid. Coach: "Get the hell out of my office."
Jess and the girls toss around ideas for the dance. They all have huge sodas from Sonic. Because they are tiny babies and can drink all the soda they want, without it, like, giving them indigestion or whatever old people thing that prevents us old people from junk fooding it all the time. The phone rings and it's for Becky. It's her dad, yelling at her for taking off and leaving her stepmom and making her worry. He tells her that he's returning home tomorrow, and she's to be there when he is. She says, simply, "I don't want to" and Mindy looks up with some concern sneaking in to her face. He tells her again, more sternly, and Becky acquiesces, "Yes, sir." She hangs up and turns to Mindy to say that she'll be out of there tomorrow. "Good news for you!" she chirps through tears.
Tami's Homework Club afterschool thing. Tami goes over to break up some back-and-forthing between Epyck and some boy. Tami tries to get Epyck to work on her math, asking her what's giving her trouble. Epyck just grunts that she isn't having trouble, it's just math and it's boring. The boy to her remarks that Epyck is "technically a moron" upon which Epyck takes her textbook and whales on him. Tami jumps into action and has to physically restrain Epyck from attacking the boy further, "You will NOT, you will come with me right now."
Buddy arrives at his bar to find the back door open, some chairs turned over, and smashed bottles on the ground. He grabs a baseball bat and hits the lights, only to find a completely drunk Buddy, Jr. rolling around on the floor towards the back. Buddy tells him this is "piss poor behavior" and a bad start to his new life and tells him to clean up the place. But Junior has different ideas about "cleaning up" as he starts to look woozy and Buddy has to shove a trash can under his face to catch his puke. He throws up his hands in exasperation. On one hand, man am I feeling for Buddy here, but on the other: how perfect is this shitty kid for a man who really most likely was a shitty kid?
Vince comes home to find his mom dressed in a nice dress. She's really annoyingly hesitant in this scene, all small feminine movements and thoughts-- "I didn't think it would fit me" "but since I'm going to dinner with your dad." Vince doesn't say anything and she asks if she looks ridiculous. He goes to her and stops her stupid feminine fluttering and tells her that she's the most beautiful thing in the world. He then tells her to just "be careful."
Commercials. Tami has Epyck in the principal's office. He hands down a one-day suspension and she leaves. Tami says that she wishes there were some other way to punish these kids other than suspension. Levi reminds her that fighting equals automatic suspension, but she points out that it doesn't do anything to help them understand why what they did was wrong. Levi tells her that the district has asked him to cut his budget by 25% and she says that it doesn't matter how much money they have, they can still help these kids. Levi tells her that he appreciates what she's doing, but he has other fish to fry. Education, folks! These teachers are the people currently demonized in Wisconsin. Good work, America!
Becky works on posters for the dance when Mindy comes in the door, wearing a short skirt, heels, and the baby on her hip. Sweet look. (Seriously). Mindy tosses her bag and baby down and commands Becky to "evaluate me." She turns around, lifts the skirt to reveal little ruffly boy shorts and tells Becky to judge her ass. Becky is understandably confused. Mindy emotionally says that she just went back to The Landing Strip, after losing every ounce of baby weight, and all she got offered is a day shift. Becky doesn't quite get it and so Mindy breaks it down for us: "Do you know what it's like dancing for a bunch of farmers with their mouths full of breakfast buffet? And the worst tippers, the worst!" Oh, man. That sounds not good. Becky tells Mindy that the manager is crazy, because Mindy looks amazing, and then suggests that she go back in and negotiate -- one day shift for one night shift. This idea is soothing and proactive-seeming to Mindy, who seems to buck up a bit. "Yeah, I have regulars!" Becky: "And I bet they totally miss you." The ladies pause a moment to bask in stripper-business-success related bonding until Becky reminds Mindy that her father is coming back tonight. "Can you give me a ride over there tonight?"
Julie. Julie Taylor! Her story line is so sadly misplaced and chopped up. She's hanging out just minding her own business when Head T.A. Derek Bishop shows up and asks her what she's doing tomorrow. She says (lies?) that she has a date. Then he, pinnacle of douchery says, "Good, that's good" like a pat on the head. She asks him what he means by that and he says all he means is "good." He gets up, apologizes for bothering her and leaves. She looks confused.
East Dillon practice field. Vince's dad shouts encouragement to Vince during a break, Vince grabs Hastings to run back out on the field and keep tossing balls, either to keep impressing his father or to get away from his father. Probably a little bit of both. Coach goes over to one of the standards (who IMDB tells me is named Deacon Floyd) in the bleachers and asks about Vince's dad. Deacon tells him that he was in jail for aggravated assault and used to be a drug dealer, "one of the baddest cats in town." Coach sort of grunts at the news, but Deacon reminds him, as the camera films Vince's father walking in slow motion away from the field, that people can change.
Tami and Coach sit at the kitchen table, Coach prattling on in stream of consciousness. Which is just so perfect -- this man who is so effectively reticent in public, prattling on at home, to his wife, his best friend. He prattles about Jess ("she has a temper!" Tami: "She's a strong woman"), and Epyck ("what kind of name is 'Epyck' anyway? Sounds like something you come up with when you're drunk") and tells Tami that the answers are at the back of the book she's working with. Tami throws up her hands and is like I KNOW! She explains that she can't teach Epyck with the math unless she understands it herself. Tami is frustrated and Coach tells her to call Julie and Tami gets excited. "Julie was always a whiz at math!" and also, more sadly, "It's a great excuse to call her!" She dials the number but...."shoot." Gets "the machine." The camera follows Coach's eyes over to a picture of his ladies -- Tami, Julie, and Gracie. They're missing her.
Doreen sits outside in a lawn chair, drinking a cocktail and smoking a cigarette, bra poking out of the top of her tank top, when Mindy drives up with Becky. Becky gets out and slumps toward the house when Doreen starts with her, demanding an apology. Becky refuses and Doreen gets hysterical. The dad comes out and is ineffectual in the way those sorts of dads are. Tempers rise, Becky reminds everyone that this is her house anyway, and Mindy steps in asking if there's a problem. Doreen declares that they are her family, with which Becky disagrees. Her dad grabs Becky's arm to drag her into the house when Mindy grabs Becky's small little rolly suitcase and tells her to get back in the car. Lots of yelling, ordering Mindy off their property, but Mindy hasn't managed ill-intentioned pawing hands at The Landing Strip for years for nothing. She sort of gets Becky behind her and tells Becky's dad and stepmom off. They hop back in the car, Becky crying as she looks at her father looking helpless to intervene in this stepmother drama.
Commercials. Locker room. Vince and Hastings bullshit about who Hastings is taking to the dance. Hastings: "C'mon Vince, it's not who you take, it's who you take home." Smooth moves coming up in the school gym, ladies! Just when we are mid-eye-roll, Luke comes busting in to remind us how incredibly awesome he is and also how incredibly underused he's been so far this season. He's all pumped up because he's got tickets to the Longhorns/TMU game, fifty yard line. Everyone erupts, and he says he's got six tickets, so they should all know that he likes pepperoni pizza and homecooked meals. With that grin, Luke Cafferty, I don't think you'll have a problem procuring those things in your lifetime.
Tami is in the gym, which is getting set up for the dance. Another teacher tells her that, as a chaperone, she'll need to stay to clean up after the dance is over, which means 1 a.m. Tami sort of sucks in her breath at this news. But we quickly find out why she's agreed to do this when Coach comes in to deliver some "tiki people." She tells him that this teacher has volunteered for Homework Club and all she has to do in exchange is chaperone! Bright voice! Sad soul! The other teacher excuses herself and Coach, hands on hips, reminds her that they were supposed to have their own party tonight, they had a babysitter and everything. She tells him that the only way to get people to help with her Homework Club is to bribe them. Coach asks her if she would like to get some lunch and she agrees, and they walk off together, Tami's sheath dress and cowboy boots leaving a trail of awesome dust everywhere she walks.
Football field. Billy yells at Tinker, who's running slowly. Jess stands on the side fixing a helmet. Billy goes over and asks the ETA on the helmet for Tinker and she tells Billy that it isn't like Tinker isn't trying. Billy's like, "der der?" and Jess says "He's reacting to the snap count rather than watching the ball. He's half a second behind on every snap." Cut over to the play where we see this is exactly the case. Billy just sort of exhales and then hands her a crushed water cup: "Do something with that, would you?"
Buddy and Junior eat at a restaurant. Buddy tries to draw his kid out, but what gets drawn out is seriously hideous. Junior says he went by Tami's office and she's "really nice." He pauses, then continues, "Got a really nice rack." Buddy is obviously taken aback, but tries to redirect rather than stand up and shriek, "YOU TREAT THAT WOMAN WITH RESPECT SON" like I just did. Buddy's redirection probably won't hold much water in a gender studies course as he notes that there are a lot of hot girls his own age at the school, which is why Junior should consider going to the dance. Junior tells his dad that dances are kinda lame, and his dad agrees but reminds him, "That's where the girls are." Oh, to what depths we all fall when trying to connect with a sullen teenager.
Vince eats with his mother and father. His mom keeps trying to make happy small talk like they are a family. His dad starts chuckling and telling the story of the first dance he ever took her to. Vince gets up and leaves the table while his father and mother tell a story about how the car his dad borrowed broke down and they had to walk to the dance. His father marvels, "Best night of my life" as his mother looks at him with adoration. Vince, from the kitchen, with a misleadingly open expression, "Now those some good memories!" before he turns dark: "See I got a different memory. The more I look at this man, the more I remember him not being here. I remember taking care of my momma when she was sick and strung out." Vince reminds his father of his own memory of never getting wished happy birthday. "Pop what's my birthday?" His mom and dad hang their heads while his dad tries to make amends, lamely, by saying he knows he wasn't here but he thought about them a lot. "I'm here now. I want to make it better." Vince doesn't buy any of it and his father gets up to leave, as his mother stays behind, in tears.
Buddy washes up in the restroom, then heads back out to the table, which is empty. He picks up the check and inspects it before calling the waitress over to ask if she saw his credit card. She says no and then tells him, in response to his question, that Buddy, Jr. just went out the front. Buddy lumbers to the front door just in time to see his car tearing out of the parking lot, Buddy, Jr. presumably behind the wheel.
Commercials. Mindy and Billy stare out the window, watching Becky and her dad in the front yard. Mindy mutters that Becky's dad is a jerk and her stepmom is a "redneck bitch" and narrates, as the father hands Becky some money, that he's paying her off so he doesn't have to be her dad anymore. Billy says that he doesn't get Mindy's about-face on the topic of Becky. Mindy just says that Becky needs some role models and they have to be them. BUT! If Billy ever "accidentally" bumps into Becky in the shower, she'll stab him in the face. Billy tries to lean in and give Mindy a kiss but she's like "really now?" Becky comes in, blubbering. Her father says that because she isn't living with them, they are going to go back to Seattle. Mindy pops up and tells her that it's all fine, she can stay there. Becky blubbers that she will babysit and do dishes, but Mindy just hushes her with an embrace. Ole Sis! I'm sorry I ever doubted you. What a freaking heart of gold in this stripper!
Coach and Buddy drive around looking for Junior. Buddy has no idea where to go, he doesn't know the kid, he doesn't know if he has any friends. And then the kicker -- Buddy relates how the other day he was suggesting to his son that he play football and Junior was all like, "Uh, Dad, football is stupid!" Buddy relates how flabbergasted he is at this but Coach gets right to the point: "Can he play football?" Buddy says of course he can! He's a Garrity. "He loves football. He just doesn't know it yet." Preach, mister.
Over at the dance, teenagers grind on one another. The circle of life, you know. Tami and Laurel laugh at the dance moves on some of the other teachers. Luke catches sight of Becky and goes over to her. He's wearing a hilarious print shirt, which she compliments. He says that he found it in the 99 cent bin at the Goodwill and it fit like a glove. I'll say. I will have to apologize in advance, but I find Luke extremely hot in this scene. He keeps his delivery low and even, and how Becky keeps her own face from melting off in the face of it all is beyond me. He tells her that he was trying to impress her and then, looking straight at her, "You are so pretty." Then he asks if she heard about the whole TMU thing, but, because this isn't just about him and football (though his newfound confidence is the engine driving it) he leans in: "I gotta tell you something. You like me. And I'm gonna take you out sometime." Now, can you please just hold on just a minute while I fan myself? Stone fox, y'all. And, because he is apparently a master seducer, the boy knows how to leave before overstaying his welcome. As he walks away he tells her, "I'm coming for you, Sproles." And just like that, I am officially on board with Luke and Becky.
Vince and Jess sit off to the side, Jess trying to talk once again about his father, Vince refusing to engage. Vince tells her that he doesn't want her to work in the locker room anymore and then they're off. He says that he needs to take his team to State, and he can't do that if he keeps having to "check my boys" in the locker room. Jess is like, well don't check them anymore, he just needs to treat her like one of the boys. Vince complains that she keeps calling him "macho chismo" which, heh. She corrects him, "It's machismo" and then she laughs, telling him that everything has to be about him, that she's supposed to help him all summer but now can't be a part of the game in a way that is interesting to her. She tells him that maybe she's doing something she enjoys, something that will look good on her college applications. He just tells her that she looks great and gets up and leaves. Oh, if only we could all live in that heady, awesome place just above, the "stone fox" part of the relationship, rather than actually have to deal with figuring out how to make a life with another human being.
Outside, Epyck and a few guys are trying to get in to the dance, but aren't being allowed in. Tami goes to check out the yelling, and reminds Epyck that she's suspended and thus not allowed on school property. Epyck is pissed and yells at Tami, asking what her problem with her is. Tami tells her that she doesn't have a problem with her, but Epyck needs to pay attention to the rules. Epyck turns to leave, but makes sure to punch a few palm trees on her way out (not unlike when CT punched a cactus on the Real World Road Rules Challenge -- what, is this not a readily handy reference for you?). Tami watches her leave, obviously upset that all she can do for this girl is turn her away.
Julie wanders drunkenly up to Head T.A. Derek Bishop's apartment door. He opens it, listens to her slur a bit, and then grabs her, kisses her and pulls her inside.
Coach and Buddy find Buddy, Jr. coming out of a convenience store. When Buddy, Jr. sees them he takes off running, but Buddy has the power of fatherly wrath on his side and takes off after him like a freaking gazelle. Buddy drags his son down off the fence he's trying to climb as Coach watches the intense scene go down. Buddy pins his son to the ground, yelling at him about shaping up until Buddy, Jr. says "Who are you?" and Buddy replies "Your dad." The stare at each other, and Buddy sort of gruffly caresses the side of his son's face. "How can I help you, son?" Wow. They both have a lot of work to do.
Commercials. Vince's father comes home to his little cottage to find his son going through his things. Vince tells him he's "just checking." His father lets him go for a while, until Vince asks him to swear to him that he's done with the drugs. His father swears. Vince asks him to promise him that he won't ever let his mother touch that stuff ever again. His father stands up, grabs his son by the shoulders, and promises that he won't ever let that happen again. "On my life." Vince turns to leave and says "October 9, 1993, pop." His birthday.
Locker room. Jess stands outside Coach's office folding towels, while the coaches meet. The coaches discuss their issues on defense, one of them complaining about Tinker lacking any gas. Billy speaks up, hesitantly, repeating what Jess told him about Tinker reacting to the snap count. Coach listens and seems happy that Billy has such an insightful comment. "Good, good. Fix it." Jess, hanging out behind, busts into a smile. Praise by proxy. Coach leaves his office, noticing her-- "Jessie, how you doin?"-- but not noticing her yet.
The National plays as Coach heads out to the field where Buddy and Buddy, Jr. toss the ball back and forth. Coach calls him over, Buddy, Jr. runs over and takes his helmet off. Coach asks him a bunch of questions -- you know what a three-point stance is? A stunt? Buddy, Jr. says "no" and Buddy corrects him, "No, sir." Buddy says that his son is a quick learner and Coach snarks, "Well, we know you can run." Then he schools the little rat bastard -- you don't take your helmet off when you're standing on Coach's field. He sends Junior off to run the forty and this little man is about to get molded!
The National keeps playing as we go into a final montage: Billy, Mindy, and Becky playing Boggle and laughing, Becky gazing longingly at a photo of Tim off to the side. Then to TMU where Luke has brought his friends to check out the college football scene, the fields, the locker rooms, and... Vince getting pulled aside to meet with a whole team of coaches. Now, hold up. Is this Vince getting pulled in instead of Luke? Cuz, damn, that would be harsh.
What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!