By Maggie
In the Weir dining room, Lindsay asks her father why thinks a woman shouldn't be President. Dad Weir states, "It's called three irrational days per month." Sam smirks while Dad continues, "I'd have no issue with the other twenty-seven, but we're talking about the atomic bomb here." Mom Weir admonishes, "Oh, Harold." Lindsay cries, "Dad, that is so stupid. Y'know, men get periods too. It has to do with your body tide." Dad snaps, "My body does not have a tide." The doorbell rings and Mom sighs that "those religious people have been bothering me all day." Dad gets up and goes to the door muttering, "Can't a man finish his supper without those religious types bothering him?" However, it isn't the religious types: It's Nick. When Dad informs him that they're in the middle of dinner, Nick angles for an invitation by commenting on the way their dinner smells. He guesses that they're having "meat." Dad says, "Congratulations." Lindsay arrives at the door asking what he wants. Nick claims he just came by to say hey. Mom finally wanders to the door and after Nick repeats his compliments about ho good dinner smells, she invites him to join them. Nick says "that would rock" because he hasn't had dinner yet. He asks Dad Weir if it is okay with him and Dad unenthusiastically says, "That would rock." With a resigned air, Lindsay closes the front door.
At the table, Nick has a full plate and a full mouth. He raves practically unintelligibly to Mom that her pot roast is amazing. Nick, dude, it's called pot roast because it is cooked in a pot, not for any other reason. Mellow out. Lindsay is grimacing and appears to be nursing a small wound. Nick claims that it is better than his mother's cooking. Mom bashfully says that his mother must be doing something right nutritionally since Nick is so tall. Nick asks Dad if he sells sleeping bags at his store. Dad confirms that he does and he asks if Nick is going camping. Nick explains that he needs a good sleeping bag because he's sleeping on people's floors now. Lindsay can see where this is going and she grimaces even more. Mom wants to know "why on earth" he's sleeping on people's floors. Nick tells them that his father kicked him out. Lindsay quickly adds that he wasn't actually kicked out. Nick counters, "He sold my drums. That doesn't seem like an invitation to stay." Dad thinks that Mr. Andopolis must have had a reason and Nick says that his reason was that the drums were interfering with his schoolwork. Nick actually thinks that his schoolwork was interfering with his drumming. Dad asks how Nick is doing in school and Nick admits it is "terrible." Dad Weir offers to let Nick spend the night. Sam and Lindsay gape at their father and Lindsay says, "What?!?" Nick exclaims, "Really?!?" After Dad reissues the invitation, Nick gushes about how nice they are as he inhales more food. With a full mouth he tells Mom, "It's like you cooked this in heaven then brought it back down here to your table." Lindsay looks crushed and stupefied. Mom gushes, "Oh, stop!"
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