Girlfriends And Boyfriends

S01E07

Lindsay hasn't completely lost touch with her straight-A self. She hands a finished test paper to her English teacher, who says, "Lindsay, it's a test, not a race. And if it were a race, Millie already beat you." Lindsay sits back down behind Millie. You know, I've never really noticed how pretty the actress is who plays Millie. Even with her hair hatchet-parted and slicked back into a ponytail, she's got really pretty bone structure. She's still a little peeved at Lindsay but agrees to talk to her anyway. Lindsay says, "Remember when we used to love Leif Garrett? And we used to take my Dynamite magazines out and kiss his picture?" Okay, that's the type of activity that's hard to forget, no matter how much you may like to forget it. And actually, it reminds me of how my sister and her friend used to buy Teen Beat magazine for the penpals section and then write fake letters to them while claiming to be other people on the penpals page, saying things like, "How can you like John Stamos? He's so gross!" Oh, don't worry, they weren't mean enough to actually mail the letters. At least I don't think they were. But I digress. Millie and Lindsay reminisce about going to see Leif Garrett at the state fair and getting into the front row only to find that it was Jack Albertson from Chico and the Man. Lindsay claims, "That kinda sucked," but the fact that Millie thinks it was "kinda funny" gives me hope for her yet. The point Lindsay wants to make is this: "We always dreamed of having a boyfriend, and I think I finally have a boyfriend, and I think he wants to have sex." Uh-oh, Cretinous Millie has taken over again. She points out that once Lindsay has sex, no one will want to marry her. Here it comes, the cliché you knew was inevitable: "Why should they buy the cow if they can get the milk for free?" Come on, Lindsay, you should've known better than to ask for relationship advice from Millie. ["Word. What does she know from boyfriends? Hers goes to church!" -- Wing Chun]

It looks like Sam is following the third part of Gordon's Cindy Sanders stalking plan, since he's sitting to her at a yearbook meeting. The advisor is saying, "Some of you will be happy to see that after several complaints, I have eliminated 'Disco Days' from the running." Heh. I assume he's talking about yearbook themes. Cindy asks Sam if he's just joined the yearbook committee. Uh, yeah, it would appear so, nimrod. Sam is much more polite and says that he wanted to get involved in more after-school activities. When the advisor asks if anyone has any article ideas, sure enough, Cindy has written one. She calls it "Diary of a McKinley Student," and it's not too bad for a fourteen-year-old, though the clichés about alienation are a little much. ["It doesn't help that despite the alienation theme, Cindy reads the poem in her usual chirpy tone of voice, which makes for an odd juxtaposition." -- Wing Chun] Some of the other students must think so too, because they're trying hard not to laugh. Sam applauds when she's done reading, which is awfully sweet. The advisor struggles to come up with a diplomatic way to turn her down. What he comes up with is pretty funny: "It's a little dark. We want to sell yearbooks, not tell the truth." He goes on to remind the students about selling yearbook ads. When Sam points out that his dad owns a sporting goods store, the advisor tells him to pursue that line and pairs him up with Cindy. She says to Sam, "I can't believe we have to sell yearbooks ads." He agrees that "that kind of sucks," but when he turns away from her, he's got a big smile on his face.