I really should make a macro that just says, "Felicity sits in her dorm room, making a tape to Sally. She tells Sally that..."
Felicity sits in her dorm room, making a tape to Sally. She tells Sally that being in California was great for the first two weeks. Cut to Felicity getting off the elevator in her dorm, carrying a suitcase. FVO says that after two weeks, she felt a need to get back to New York because that's where her life is. Felicity walks down the hall and spots Knoll arguing with Richard and Richard's heretofore-unseen roommate. FVO says that there was one reason in particular why she wanted to get back, as she gazes lovingly at Knoll. Knoll agrees with Richard that having an old dried-out Christmas tree in your dorm room is a fire hazard. Richard's roommate says that he usually keeps his trees until February. I can't imagine that there would be any needles left on it at that point. In fact, I don't know if it would qualify as a tree anymore. It's really just a branch. Knoll spots Felicity and smiles. Knoll rules that he's going to toss the tree. Richard is happy. Richard's roommate argues that throwing out the tree will put "a hex" on him and his family. What kind of crazy superstitions does his family subscribe to? I've never heard of that one. Knoll solves the problem by breaking off a branch and handing it to Richard's roommate. Richard and his roommate are both appeased, and walk off.
Felicity has reached Knoll at this point, and they stare at each other, grinning. Knoll comments, "So that's what you look like," which is kind of a weird first thing to say if you think about it. Like wouldn't he say, "God, I've missed you," or even, "You are a sight for sore eyes." Instead, it sounds like he forgot what she looked like, which to me implies that he didn't look at her that much before the break or something. They walk into Knoll's room and Knoll shuts the door. Felicity takes off her coat. They quickly say how happy they are to see each other, and then start kissing. Knoll says how great Felicity smells, like I guess his giant Knollstrils are super-sensitive to scent or something, since that's the second time he's said that in two episodes. Knoll starts clearing off his bed so they can sit down. Felicity notices that Knoll has a new iMac and says that "noelcrane.com has hit the big time." I'm not exactly sure how Knoll's getting a new computer affects his website, because it's not like he's hosting the site on his own computer, and I don't think you could host a site on an iMac anyway, but I'm going to shut up now before I turn into an even bigger nerd. Knoll brags about how fast his Mac is. Wow, he's a bigger nerd than I am. Felicity interrupts Knoll's nerdspeak to announce that she's decided something. Knoll picks up his iMac for some reason and tries to guess, and most of his guesses center upon Felicity deciding that she doesn't think they should date each other. Felicity decisively says that she thinks they should have sex. Knoll drops the iMac on the floor.
Felicity tells Sally that this sex decision might seem out of the blue, but it's something she's been thinking about for a long time. As Felicity walks around the cafeteria, looking at all the couples, FVO says that she thinks her decision might be because everyone else in college seems to be "doing it." FVO says that she often thinks, "That girl? She has sex. She does, too. He has sex with her. Those two? Definitely have sex all the time." FVO concludes that everyone is having sex except her.
Julie and Felicity talk in the classroom before class begins. Julie says that her parents handled the news about Krakow really, really well. Felicity says that she was looking forward to getting back to school, and Julie agrees. Ben walks in and says hello. Felicity says that she met Ben's father over the break, and that he seemed nice. Ben replies, "Yeah, well, he makes a good first impression." Felicity asks Ben what he ended up doing over the break, and Ben says that he went to Vermont, of all places, because Sean's friend has a house outside Stowe. Ben asks Julie, "How you doin'?" in a very Joey Tribbiani manner. Julie says she's great, and Ben walks off to find a seat. Felicity had her head down during that exchange, so she didn't see the major vibes between Julie and Ben. Felicity comments that it's weird to come back, because it's like they never left. Julie looks like she wants to tell Felicity something, and then thinks better of it.
Knoll talks to Felicity while she works at Dean & Deluca. He wants to be sure that he heard her correctly the day before (about the sex). Knoll asks when she was thinking this should happen. Felicity says that it would be great if he got tested for HIV first. Knoll happily agrees. Felicity clarifies that she doesn't think he's positive, and Knoll understands. Felicity says that she would offer to get tested herself, but she's never...she kind of trails off, here. And, truth be told, just because she's never had sex or shared needles doesn't necessarily mean that she's HIV-negative. I mean, it's highly unlikely, but it could happen. Then again, given that the show is named after her, probably not. Knoll says that he's "very enthusiastic about this whole endeavor." Felicity nods and Knoll runs out to get tested.
Blair gives Elena a gift for being so cute. Wow, I totally forgot that Blair was still in the picture. That's what happens when you take two weeks off between recaps. Elena immediately wonders what he's hiding, because Elena is mistrustful when people are nice to her. Blair tells her to open the gift. Elena pulls out a band of material that I would probably think is a tube top, but Elena clearly has no idea what it is. Blair babbles that he thought it was "so Elena," and he had to get it for her. Elena thanks Blair for the gift, and then gives him a kiss. Blair comments that he can't wait for her to wear it. Elena giggles as Blair leaves, then looks at the gift, trying to figure out what the hell it is.
An extremely chipper Knoll sees Ben in the post office. Knoll says that he just came from the doctor. Ben asks whether Knoll is okay, and Knoll says that there is every indication that he's just fine. A girl walks up and gives Ben an invitation to a party, completely ignoring Knoll, who's standing right there. Ben chuckles, as Knoll looks momentarily downtrodden. Knoll asks Ben who that girl was, and Ben says that he has no idea. Knoll says that yesterday, that would have really bothered him, but today, he doesn't care. Because he's getting LAID! He might as well just write it in huge letters on his forehead. Ben asks what happened, because I guess he missed the huge letters on Knoll's forehead. Knoll says that it's "progress." Ben is still amused as they each go their separate ways.
Felicity walks down the street as FVO tells us she decided that if she was going to do this, she was going to do it right, and that she's not going to be embarrassed about it. Felicity walks into a bookstore and immediately asks where the sex books are. Some Snuffy Walden background music starts up, and it sounds like it belongs in Twin Peaks. Felicity takes one off the shelf and starts browsing. The clerk comes up and asks whether this is for class, but Felicity says that it's for "personal edification." The clerk asks what specifically she is looking for, and Felicity replies, "Specifically? Having it." Felicity pulls one book out, Mars & Venus in the Bedroom, and says that it sounded perfect, but that she needs more pictures, because she's a very visual person. As Felicity continues talking, she gets louder and louder. The clerk looks like she would like to walk away. Felicity finishes by yelling, "Am I making you uncomfortable?" The clerk points out that Felicity was yelling. Felicity apologizes and looks around. The clerk asks, "Do you know how good it feels?" Felicity doesn't quite know how to respond to that, so the clerk clarifies that How Good It Feels is the name of a book. Wow, that was a cheap joke. But still funny. The clerk picks up another book, Gimme An O; she recommends page forty-six, smiles enigmatically, and walks away. Felicity glances page forty-six in the book, raises her eyebrows, and decides to take it.
Sean walks into the loft, brandishing something in his hand, and asks Ben what it is. Ben says that it's Julie's toothbrush. Sean claims that the fact that her toothbrush is in their loft breaks the "no live-in girlfriend rule." Ben scoffs and says that Julie is not his girlfriend. Sean states that blue toothbrush equals girlfriend. I guess if it were purple, that would be a different story. Ben protests that Julie has had a rough couple of months, and that he's helping her through it. Sean says that he understands, that Julie is "a real-estate investment." Ben (and the viewers) don't understand, so Sean explains that it's like when you buy inexpensive land that you're going to build on eventually, so you play it safe and build it up. Ben tells Sean that he is crazy. Sean clarifies that Ben is investing in the future, and that, as a businessman, Sean respects that. Ben says that Sean's respect scares him. Julie walks into the room. Sean asks whether she was looking for her toothbrush. Julie says no, and then tells Ben that she needs to talk to him. Sean says, "Hey, don't mind me. Just because I own the place." Sean walks away to eat his cereal.
Julie tells Ben that she talked to her counselor, and that now she thinks she needs to talk to Felicity. Ben asks why, and Julie explains that it felt terrible when they were all in class together. Ben asks whether Julie thinks that it will hurt Felicity's feelings to know about Julie and Ben. Julie says that's not it, then thinks it over, and says she just wants to be honest. Ben agrees that Julie should tell Felicity. Julie says that she will, but that it's going to be "really hard." Ben agrees.
Felicity cautiously walks into Knoll's room, where he is banging on his now-duct-taped iMac. Felicity asks whether she broke it, and Knoll says that he's the one who dropped it. It's nice to see Knoll taking responsibility for his problems for once. Felicity clarifies that it is broken, and Knoll claims that it's just not working. He stands up and shows Felicity his blood donor card, explaining that the Red Cross will only give one to people who are HIV-negative, and that Knoll hasn't had any sexual contact with anyone since he last gave blood. Felicity is happy to hear that, and pulls out her day planner, asking Knoll when he wants to do it. Knoll replies, "Um, now?" Felicity says that she doesn't want to rush into it, so Knoll suggests that night. Felicity has a lecture that night. Knoll suggests the day. Felicity has a lab. Knoll (now somewhat frustrated) says that he's "wide open on Wednesday." Insert your own "wide open" joke here. Felicity has to work at Dean & Deluca on Wednesday. Knoll asks whether she could get someone to cover for her, and Felicity realizes that she can, so she writes their sex appointment in her planner: "Noel. Sex. Is 8:00 okay?" Knoll replies, "For sex? 8:00 is great!" Felicity happily turns to leave, but then comes back and tells Knoll that if he needs to reschedule, he should let her know. Knoll says that he can pretty much guarantee that won't happen. Felicity smiles and leaves. Once she gets out into the hall, she stops and looks down at her planner, then looks anxious.
A counselor opens his office and calls in Felicity, who is sitting in the waiting room. Once in his office, he hands her a pack of birth-control pills and informs her of their effectiveness (when taken at the same time each day). Felicity clarifies that she will still need to use condoms, and the counselor PSAs that the pill takes a month to become effective; Felicity adds that the pill doesn't protect against STDs. The counselor pulls out a big box of condoms and asks Felicity what kind she wants. Felicity seems stymied by the variety, so the counselor decides to go with the basic kind. , he pulls out a giant red...well, it's basically a dildo. Or penis substitute. Whichever you prefer. Felicity nervously asks what that's all about, and the counselor tells her that it's to help her practice her technique, because lots of people get it wrong. The counselor demonstrates the proper technique, using clinical terms. Felicity looks sick to her stomach, and then comments that the counselor must "do this a million times a day." Felicity compares it to when she worked at an ice cream parlor, and at first it was really fun to scoop ice cream, but later, she would go home and her mom would offer her some ice cream, and she didn't want any, because she had been staring at it all day and was sick of it. I have to say that I worked in an ice cream parlor, and I still love me some ice cream. I did, however, get some sort of bizarre carpal tunnel syndrome in my wrists, and now I can't open a jar without getting shooting pains up my wrists. But that's neither here nor there. Felicity finishes her little story and smiles, asking the counselor whether it's like that at all. The counselor says no, and asks whether Felicity would like to give it a try. Felicity stares at the condom in her hand, and decides not to.
Outside, Felicity runs into Julie, who was going into see her counselor. Julie wonders why Felicity is there. Felicity says that it's "about sex." Julie asks, "What about it?" Felicity replies, "I'm going to have it. With Noel." Instead of running away screaming, Julie says that it's great. Felicity asks whether Julie thinks so, and comments that she felt weird talking about it. Julie realizes what Felicity is getting at, and says that just because she had a bad sexual experience with Krakow doesn't mean that Felicity won't have a good one with Knoll, or that they can't talk about it. Felicity smiles. Julie says that it's a big deal. Felicity adds that it's about time, and that she's glad she told Julie, because it feels terrible not telling Julie everything. Julie hesitates at that, and then says she has to go to her appointment. Julie stops at the top of the steps and asks whether she should congratulate Felicity or something. Felicity says she guesses so, so Julie congratulates her. They both head off.
Funky music plays as Knoll does sit-ups in his dorm room. That guy with the weird hair pops out from under Knoll's desk, where he was working on the iMac, and comments that he's never done a sit-up in his life, except when he thought he might "score," which is "so pathetic." Knoll asks whether "this guy" is going to be able to help with his computer. Weird Hair says that the guy is great, and that he's also an official Apple repair guy, so it's a done deal. Weird Hair carries out Knoll's iMac.
Julie shows up and asks whether Knoll has a minute. Knoll stops the calisthenics. Julie notices that Knoll's tree is dead, and Knoll says that it's not his. But it's an important plot point to note that the dead tree is still in Knoll's room. Knoll asks what's going on, and Julie says that it's about Ben and Felicity. Knoll gets a look of panic on his face and begs Julie to tell him that she's joking. Julie realizes what he's worried about, and clarifies that she didn't mean Ben and Felicity as a couple; she was talking about herself, Ben, and Felicity. Knoll asks whether Ben and Felicity are together. When would Felicity have had time to get together with Ben? She barely had time to schedule sex with Knoll! Julie says that they aren't, so Knoll asks whether Julie and Ben are together. Julie says yes, then clarifies that they aren't really. They're just "hanging out...a lot." Knoll asks what she means by "a lot," and Julie says that she means every night. Julie further explains that when everything went down with Krakow, she couldn't sleep, so she went over to Ben's place, and he would talk to her until she went to sleep. He made her feel safe, and she's been sleeping there ever since. Knoll clarifies, "With Ben?" Julie quickly adds that nothing happens, and that they are just spending time together. Knoll asks what the problem is. Julie says she hasn't told Felicity, and that she thinks Felicity will feel that it's a betrayal. Knoll doesn't think Felicity will, and says he has "pretty good reason to believe that Felicity has moved past Ben." Julie says that Felicity told her all about Knoll, and that Felicity is very excited. Knoll is pleased. Julie is worried that Felicity will be mad that Julie was less than honest about sleeping in Ben's bed, and about their trip to Vermont together over break. Knoll states that nothing has happened between Julie and Ben, and then asks why Julie can't tell Felicity that. Julie doesn't know. Knoll suggests that maybe Julie knows that something is about to happen. Julie sighs and admits that Knoll is right, and that she has to tell Felicity that night. Knoll begs Julie not to tell Felicity that night, and to wait until at least Thursday, so as not to ruin the sex. Julie agrees.
Felicity and Elena walk down the street together. Felicity has apparently just told Elena about her sex plans, and says that she's only asking Elena because she has "such experience." Elena thinks that Felicity and Knoll should have been "going at it a long time ago." Felicity says that she's a slow starter. Elena offers a tip: "Be the ball." Felicity doesn't get it, so Elena adds, "Focus on the ball." Felicity replies, "Which ball are we talking about, exactly?" Hee! Elena says that it's a golf thing she saw in an infomercial, and that it means that you should forget about everything else and just focus. Felicity says, "On the ball?" Elena replies, "On him!" and exhorts Felicity to forget about food or homework, and then compares it to a Chemistry final. Elena demonstrates how Felicity should pretend that she has "blinders on, like a racehorse," by putting her hands up on either side of her face. Felicity follows suit. Elena advises Felicity to take control right away and keep it going, by saying, "I am the ball." Felicity quietly repeats, "I am the ball." They both take their hands down, and Felicity guesses that Elena and Blair have an amazing sex life. That reminds Elena of the gift, so she pulls it out of her bag. Felicity guesses that it's a really short skirt. Elena wonders whether it's a top. Felicity advises her to ask Blair. Elena thinks it's too late, since she already said that she loved it, and that it would crush him. Felicity says that never stopped Elena before, and Elena says that she likes Blair. They start walking again, and Elena reminds Felicity, "Eye on the ball. And sexy underwear never hurt."
Felicity is on the phone in her dorm room, ordering some items from the Victoria's Secret catalog. Specifically, she orders the Patricia bra, and asks the order-taker what she thinks as far as color, since "someone else is going to be seeing it." The order-taker suggests black, which Felicity worries might be "too much." Just then Meghan walks in, so Felicity quickly says that she's going to look in the store instead, and hangs up. Meghan says that she heard about Felicity's "plan to bone the RA." Felicity is astounded, and asks Meghan who told her that. Meghan heard it from the mailroom guy, and that everybody knows. Meghan then notices that Felicity has a copy of Gimme an O; she exclaims that it was her favorite book in eighth grade, and starts reminiscing about page forty-six. Okay, now I'm really curious as to what's on page forty-six. Felicity looks ashamed as Meghan asks whether Felicity wants some sex advice. Felicity doesn't, so Meghan leaves. Felicity picks up Gimme an O and starts reading.
In Knoll's dorm room, the seduction scene is set, with candles a-burning and soft music playing. In her own room, Felicity spritzes perfume into the air and walks through it; she then grabs a black bra and panty set out of a Victoria's Secret bag and examines them. Some time later, Felicity knocks on Knoll's door and asks whether she may come in. Knoll is all smiles. Felicity looks determined and not at all happy. She stomps in and does the blinder thing that Elena showed her, which prompts Knoll to ask what she's doing. In response, Felicity jumps on Knoll and starts kissing him furiously. She whips off her shirt and continues the kissing, pushing Knoll up against the wall. It should be noted that Felicity is not wearing a traditional bra, but a cute black camisole top. I don't know why it should be noted, but it's really cute. Knoll asks whether he can get her anything as she pulls off his clothes and her own. Felicity throws Knoll down on the bed, and he lands on a hairbrush. Once the brush is dispatched, Felicity gets on top of Knoll and continues kissing him. Felicity pulls a condom out of her top and hands it to Knoll, who asks whether they can slow down a little bit, so that he doesn't feel like this is being "nationally televised."
Just then, Knoll's door opens and Crazy Hair walks in, followed by a couple of other guys. Knoll grabs Felicity and rolls her over, then tries to shield her with his body so that the guys can't see her. The guys don't even have the decency to leave, and instead, just stand there and gape while Felicity and Knoll argue over why the door wasn't locked. Some doofus opens the door further, which of course knocks over a candle, which of course lights the dead tree on fire. The alarm starts going off. The intruding guys flee. Knoll yells out for nobody to panic, and insists to Felicity that they can still have sex. Felicity points out that the room is on fire as she crawls around on the floor, looking for her clothes. Doofus runs back in with a fire extinguisher and sprays the tree, putting out the fire. Felicity and Knoll cough and wave their hands around, trying to disperse the fire extinguisher detritus. Weird Hair points out that they have to evacuate when the alarm goes off. Knoll agrees and rubs his forehead. Throughout the entire scene, the soft music continued, creating an ironic counterpoint to the frenzied activity.
The day, Knoll comes down to Felicity's room. Felicity says that she can't even look at Knoll, and that she was a freak. Knoll allows that Felicity was "a little aggressive." Felicity continues to talk about "the people, and the tree, and the fire." Knoll says that it wasn't what they had imagined. Felicity, her face in her hands, says that she wanted to "barrel through it and just get it over with." Knoll makes Felicity look at him. She peeks from between her fingers, and Knoll grabs her hands and pulls them off her face. Knoll opines that it needed to be a little more romantic. Felicity jokes, "What, sex by a roaring fire isn't romantic enough for you?" They both laugh. Knoll says that he got them a hotel room, and that the reservation is for tonight. Felicity says, "Tonight?" and looks apprehensive.
At a very busy Dean & Deluca, Felicity begs Javier to give her the night off. Javier isn't having it. Felicity says that it's important. Javier asks whether it's about a guy. Felicity replies, "What if it is?" Javier insists, "Well, tell him to come here and enjoy a double mocha." Felicity whispers that she and this guy need to be alone. Javier asks whether she thinks it's a national holiday every time she gets lucky. Felicity struggles for the words to explain why this is "a very unique situation for [her]." She's so worked up that she incorrectly used a modifier on unique. Jed Bartlet would be horrifed. Javier realizes that it's Felicity's first time, and although Javier says that he doesn't believe in premarital sex, he agrees to take her shift. But he wants details later. Felicity thanks him and rushes out.
In Julie's dorm room, Ben recites a line of poetry, and then tells Julie, "Walt Whitman rocks." I disagree, but at least he didn't say Jack Kerouac. Then again, Ben seems like the Jack Kerouac type. Julie giggles and says that she thought Ben hated poetry, but Ben says that he understands Walt Whitman. Ben continues to read lines. Julie says she loves this. Ben says that it is pretty good. Julie clarifies that she meant hanging out with him, not the poetry. Ben says that's what he meant, too. They laugh.
Knoll and Felicity enter a really nice hotel room. Felicity thinks that the room is amazing. They look at each other and giggle. Knoll leans over and kisses Felicity, who says that she's glad they're doing this, and thanks Knoll. They stare at the bed some more. Knoll suggests drinking some champagne. Felicity gets excited about the mini-bar. Knoll can't believe she's going to open it, like, lighten up, Knoll. Felicity says that her parents never let her open the mini-bar, and offers to treat. Knoll lightens up now that he doesn't have to pay, and takes a soda. They toast to "better luck the second time around." Mmm, Coke in the glass bottles. Felicity says that it's going to be good, but it's more like she's trying to convince herself than Knoll.
Ben packs up his things to leave Julie's room, and asks Julie whether she's sure that she doesn't want to come back to the loft with him. Julie thinks that Sean hates her. Ben explains about the "no live-in girlfriend" rule. Julie says that she still wants to stay in her own room, and thanks Ben for everything. They hug for a little too long. Julie pulls away, and they stare at each other for a while. Julie's phone rings, and Ben takes off so that she can answer it. Ben pauses in the doorway, looks back at Julie, and then takes off.
Meanwhile, Julie is talking to Felicity on the phone. Felicity says that Julie will never guess where she is, and then flushes the toilet so that Julie can hear. Julie figures out what it is, and Felicity says she's using the phone in the suite that she got with Knoll. Julie is all false cheer. Felicity says that she and Knoll are really going to do it. Julie's all, "Greeeat." Felicity picks up on the weirdness and asks what's wrong. Julie says that it's nothing, and it's stupid, and she wants Felicity to have a great time on her big night. Felicity keeps prying, and Julie keeps insisting that it's nothing. Finally, Julie insists that Felicity go and have fun, so they hang up.
Felicity walks back into the main room, where Knoll is looking at the room service menu. Felicity comments that it's "a pretty great bathroom," and Knoll way-too-obviously adds that it's "a pretty great bed." Felicity comes over and sits on the bed to Knoll. Knoll goes in for a kiss. Felicity is totally not into it, so she stops him, saying that she needs to focus. Knoll starts up again, but Felicity stops him to say that she called Julie from the bathroom, and that she sounded upset. Knoll says that he thinks Julie will be fine. Knoll tries to start kissing again, but Felicity asks whether Knoll talked to Julie. Knoll blurts, "She's with Ben." Felicity asks what he means, and Knoll reveals that Julie and Ben have been "hanging out." Felicity asks how much time they spend together, and Knoll says that Julie told him it was every night. Felicity wants to know when Knoll talked to Julie, and Knoll admits that it was the day before. Felicity asks, "So you've known since yesterday that Julie and Ben were having an affair, and you didn't tell me?" Knoll says that it's not an affair. Felicity can't believe that Knoll didn't tell her. Knoll asks why it matters. Felicity says that she doesn't know, but it does. Knoll asks whether it's because they didn't tell her earlier, or because Felicity is still obsessed with Ben. Felicity says with frustration that she had a big talk with Julie the day before about how much she values Julie's friendship, and that Julie said nothing about Ben. Knoll sadly says, "That's because she knows the truth." Felicity asks why, if she is obsessed with Ben, she is in the hotel room with Knoll. Knoll says he doesn't know, and gets up to leave. Felicity asks where he's going. Knoll says that he doesn't want to be "the rehearsal." Felicity claims that's not the case, but Knoll says he knows it's true, because when he says what he's about to say, Felicity's face will drop. Felicity rolls her eyes. Knoll says, "Ben and Julie went to Vermont together." Felicity tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to keep her face from dropping. Knoll tells her goodnight and walks out.
The day, Julie arrives at Ben's loft. He lets her in, and she apologizes for not calling. Ben is taking some laundry out of the dryer, and Julie spots her t-shirt in the mix. Ben comments that she has a bunch of stuff there, like in case you didn't get it from the toothbrush thing and Julie telling Knoll that she's slept there every night, and the vacation-taking in Vermont -- Julie practically lives in the loft. Julie tells Ben that she really wanted to kiss him in her room the night before, and Ben wanted to kiss her back. Ben chuckles and admits that it's true. "Everybody Hurts" by REM starts playing, which doesn't seem appropriate for this scene at all, and I think that song should be banned from ever being used on a television show again, because it will never be as perfect as it was in the pilot of My So-Called Life. Anyway, Julie says that she told her counselor that she doesn't want to be the type of girl who just runs into some guy's bed every time something goes wrong. Ben asks what the counselor said. Julie says that the counselor feels that Ben is not "some guy," and that Julie should do what feels right. Julie thinks that what feels right is to go slowly. Ben thinks that sounds good, and they totally want to kiss each other. Slowly, ever so slowly, they move towards each other and kiss as Michael Stipe sings, "Everybody hurts sometimes." See? Totally inappropriate for this scene.
It gets worse, though. The song keeps playing as we segue to Knoll singing along to the song in his dorm room. I may never be able to listen to that song again after hearing Scott Foley sing along. Knoll lies on his bed in the dark and sings along. There's a knock at his door, and Knoll shuts up so that he can pretend he's not there. Elena walks in, turns on the light, and asks Knoll what he's doing. Knoll asks what it looks like, and Elena grabs the remote from his hand and shuts off the music. Elena is wearing Blair's gift as a very, very, very short skirt. She says that Knoll is the resident advisor, and that she needs him to advise her as to whether her outfit looks right. Knoll sits up and looks, then scoffs and lies back down. Elena says that Knoll clearly needs help more than she does. Knoll says that all he needs is a dark room and depressing music. He grabs the remote and turns the music back on, singing along again. Please! Stop with the singing along! Elena says that Knoll is obsessed with the idea that Felicity is obsessed, and confesses that Felicity told her what happened. Knoll sarcastically says, "Mmm. Super." Elena adds that it makes it easier for Knoll to think that Felicity is obsessed with Ben, because then he can fixate on that instead of working on his own relationship with Felicity. Knoll tells Elena that she's getting on his nerves. Elena gets up and promises to let Knoll wallow in his self-pity. Knoll protests that he's not wallowing, and Elena fixes him with a look, so he allows that maybe he is wallowing, but a good wallow never hurt anybody. Elena says that may be, but that it's really unattractive and, in this case, totally unnecessary. Elena reaches down and helps Knoll to his feet, asking what he really thinks of the skirt. Knoll just shrugs, because if it's not about him, he's not interested.
Elena models her outfit for Blair, who tells her that his gift is not a skirt. It's for her hair. Elena is appalled that she's wearing a headband for a skirt. Blair wonders why she didn't just ask him, and Elena says that she didn't want to hurt his feelings, and that "now [she's] standing in the cafeteria, wearing a headband around [her] ass." Elena walks away, clearly humiliated. Blair calls after her that not many people could pull that off.
Felicity enters the only classroom she ever has class in, to find Julie sitting there alone. Felicity enters and says that Knoll told her about Julie and Ben. Julie apologizes and says that she should have been the one to tell Felicity, but that she thought Felicity would....Felicity finishes the sentence: "Freak out? Well, I'm not going to." Julie looks relieved. Felicity says that she's been holding onto her crush for so long that she was scared to let go of it, because if she did, it would not only mean admitting that she and Ben would never get together (hee!), but it would also put everything into question. Felicity adds that it was like, without that possibility, she had nothing. Julie says that's "so not true," and Felicity agrees that she has tons of things in her life, and that it's time to start enjoying some of them. Felicity concludes that liking someone is supposed to make your life better, not worse. Julie giggles and agrees. Ben walks in, and Felicity comments that they were just talking about him behind his back. Ben asks how badly he did. Felicity smiles at him, and then offers her seat so that Julie can fill Ben in on the girls' conversation. Ben doesn't want to take it, but Felicity says that she has something to do and asks Julie to take notes for her. Ben sits down to Julie. At the door, Felicity turns back and smiles at them.
Knoll knocks on Felicity's door. Felicity walks down the hall and sees him. Knoll starts babbling, as they walk into Felicity's room, that he wanted to apologize for overreacting, but that he realized that sex is a big deal, so that it has to be for the right reasons. Knoll thinks that the right reasons are that Felicity wants to do it with him, not just because everyone else is doing it. Knoll thinks doing it would be a mistake. Felicity agrees. Knoll seems disappointed. Felicity says that she just wanted to get sex over with to feel like she was part of the human race. Knoll can't believe that he just talked himself out of having sex with her. Felicity agrees that she's saying no. Knoll wonders, "To me, or to sex?" Felicity says that she's not saying no to him, and that she wants to be with him. Knoll thinks that's good, and says he understands about Ben. Knoll compares Ben to a bad habit that's hard to get rid of, but he thinks that he can help Felicity get over it. Good luck with that, Knoll. Felicity smiles at him, and reveals that Knoll is her first boyfriend. Knoll reaches down and kisses her. They continue kissing on Felicity's bed.
As Knoll and Felicity continue kissing, we hear Sally's tape to Felicity. SVO says that she's been thinking of how Felicity must be feeling: "All that anticipation and uncertainty, all that wondering what it's going to be like." Felicity and Knoll get food together in the cafeteria, and then join Ben and Julie at a table. SVO says that her first time happened when she was a freshman at Brown, with a guy she met at a party. Sally doesn't regret that night, but she knows something now that she didn't know then. Elena and Blair join the others at the table, and Elena is wearing Blair's gift in the proper place -- as a headband. SVO says she now knows that our best decisions come from listening to ourselves, which is what Felicity has done. SVO concludes that no matter what Felicity decides, she should feel very proud. The camera pans out on the three couples laughing and talking at the cafeteria table.