Gimme an O

I really should make a macro that just says, "Felicity sits in her dorm room, making a tape to Sally. She tells Sally that..."

Felicity sits in her dorm room, making a tape to Sally. She tells Sally that being in California was great for the first two weeks. Cut to Felicity getting off the elevator in her dorm, carrying a suitcase. FVO says that after two weeks, she felt a need to get back to New York because that's where her life is. Felicity walks down the hall and spots Knoll arguing with Richard and Richard's heretofore-unseen roommate. FVO says that there was one reason in particular why she wanted to get back, as she gazes lovingly at Knoll. Knoll agrees with Richard that having an old dried-out Christmas tree in your dorm room is a fire hazard. Richard's roommate says that he usually keeps his trees until February. I can't imagine that there would be any needles left on it at that point. In fact, I don't know if it would qualify as a tree anymore. It's really just a branch. Knoll spots Felicity and smiles. Knoll rules that he's going to toss the tree. Richard is happy. Richard's roommate argues that throwing out the tree will put "a hex" on him and his family. What kind of crazy superstitions does his family subscribe to? I've never heard of that one. Knoll solves the problem by breaking off a branch and handing it to Richard's roommate. Richard and his roommate are both appeased, and walk off.

Felicity has reached Knoll at this point, and they stare at each other, grinning. Knoll comments, "So that's what you look like," which is kind of a weird first thing to say if you think about it. Like wouldn't he say, "God, I've missed you," or even, "You are a sight for sore eyes." Instead, it sounds like he forgot what she looked like, which to me implies that he didn't look at her that much before the break or something. They walk into Knoll's room and Knoll shuts the door. Felicity takes off her coat. They quickly say how happy they are to see each other, and then start kissing. Knoll says how great Felicity smells, like I guess his giant Knollstrils are super-sensitive to scent or something, since that's the second time he's said that in two episodes. Knoll starts clearing off his bed so they can sit down. Felicity notices that Knoll has a new iMac and says that "noelcrane.com has hit the big time." I'm not exactly sure how Knoll's getting a new computer affects his website, because it's not like he's hosting the site on his own computer, and I don't think you could host a site on an iMac anyway, but I'm going to shut up now before I turn into an even bigger nerd. Knoll brags about how fast his Mac is. Wow, he's a bigger nerd than I am. Felicity interrupts Knoll's nerdspeak to announce that she's decided something. Knoll picks up his iMac for some reason and tries to guess, and most of his guesses center upon Felicity deciding that she doesn't think they should date each other. Felicity decisively says that she thinks they should have sex. Knoll drops the iMac on the floor.

In Knoll's dorm room, the seduction scene is set, with candles a-burning and soft music playing. In her own room, Felicity spritzes perfume into the air and walks through it; she then grabs a black bra and panty set out of a Victoria's Secret bag and examines them. Some time later, Felicity knocks on Knoll's door and asks whether she may come in. Knoll is all smiles. Felicity looks determined and not at all happy. She stomps in and does the blinder thing that Elena showed her, which prompts Knoll to ask what she's doing. In response, Felicity jumps on Knoll and starts kissing him furiously. She whips off her shirt and continues the kissing, pushing Knoll up against the wall. It should be noted that Felicity is not wearing a traditional bra, but a cute black camisole top. I don't know why it should be noted, but it's really cute. Knoll asks whether he can get her anything as she pulls off his clothes and her own. Felicity throws Knoll down on the bed, and he lands on a hairbrush. Once the brush is dispatched, Felicity gets on top of Knoll and continues kissing him. Felicity pulls a condom out of her top and hands it to Knoll, who asks whether they can slow down a little bit, so that he doesn't feel like this is being "nationally televised."

Just then, Knoll's door opens and Crazy Hair walks in, followed by a couple of other guys. Knoll grabs Felicity and rolls her over, then tries to shield her with his body so that the guys can't see her. The guys don't even have the decency to leave, and instead, just stand there and gape while Felicity and Knoll argue over why the door wasn't locked. Some doofus opens the door further, which of course knocks over a candle, which of course lights the dead tree on fire. The alarm starts going off. The intruding guys flee. Knoll yells out for nobody to panic, and insists to Felicity that they can still have sex. Felicity points out that the room is on fire as she crawls around on the floor, looking for her clothes. Doofus runs back in with a fire extinguisher and sprays the tree, putting out the fire. Felicity and Knoll cough and wave their hands around, trying to disperse the fire extinguisher detritus. Weird Hair points out that they have to evacuate when the alarm goes off. Knoll agrees and rubs his forehead. Throughout the entire scene, the soft music continued, creating an ironic counterpoint to the frenzied activity.

The day, Knoll comes down to Felicity's room. Felicity says that she can't even look at Knoll, and that she was a freak. Knoll allows that Felicity was "a little aggressive." Felicity continues to talk about "the people, and the tree, and the fire." Knoll says that it wasn't what they had imagined. Felicity, her face in her hands, says that she wanted to "barrel through it and just get it over with." Knoll makes Felicity look at him. She peeks from between her fingers, and Knoll grabs her hands and pulls them off her face. Knoll opines that it needed to be a little more romantic. Felicity jokes, "What, sex by a roaring fire isn't romantic enough for you?" They both laugh. Knoll says that he got them a hotel room, and that the reservation is for tonight. Felicity says, "Tonight?" and looks apprehensive.

Meanwhile, Julie is talking to Felicity on the phone. Felicity says that Julie will never guess where she is, and then flushes the toilet so that Julie can hear. Julie figures out what it is, and Felicity says she's using the phone in the suite that she got with Knoll. Julie is all false cheer. Felicity says that she and Knoll are really going to do it. Julie's all, "Greeeat." Felicity picks up on the weirdness and asks what's wrong. Julie says that it's nothing, and it's stupid, and she wants Felicity to have a great time on her big night. Felicity keeps prying, and Julie keeps insisting that it's nothing. Finally, Julie insists that Felicity go and have fun, so they hang up.

Felicity walks back into the main room, where Knoll is looking at the room service menu. Felicity comments that it's "a pretty great bathroom," and Knoll way-too-obviously adds that it's "a pretty great bed." Felicity comes over and sits on the bed to Knoll. Knoll goes in for a kiss. Felicity is totally not into it, so she stops him, saying that she needs to focus. Knoll starts up again, but Felicity stops him to say that she called Julie from the bathroom, and that she sounded upset. Knoll says that he thinks Julie will be fine. Knoll tries to start kissing again, but Felicity asks whether Knoll talked to Julie. Knoll blurts, "She's with Ben." Felicity asks what he means, and Knoll reveals that Julie and Ben have been "hanging out." Felicity asks how much time they spend together, and Knoll says that Julie told him it was every night. Felicity wants to know when Knoll talked to Julie, and Knoll admits that it was the day before. Felicity asks, "So you've known since yesterday that Julie and Ben were having an affair, and you didn't tell me?" Knoll says that it's not an affair. Felicity can't believe that Knoll didn't tell her. Knoll asks why it matters. Felicity says that she doesn't know, but it does. Knoll asks whether it's because they didn't tell her earlier, or because Felicity is still obsessed with Ben. Felicity says with frustration that she had a big talk with Julie the day before about how much she values Julie's friendship, and that Julie said nothing about Ben. Knoll sadly says, "That's because she knows the truth." Felicity asks why, if she is obsessed with Ben, she is in the hotel room with Knoll. Knoll says he doesn't know, and gets up to leave. Felicity asks where he's going. Knoll says that he doesn't want to be "the rehearsal." Felicity claims that's not the case, but Knoll says he knows it's true, because when he says what he's about to say, Felicity's face will drop. Felicity rolls her eyes. Knoll says, "Ben and Julie went to Vermont together." Felicity tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to keep her face from dropping. Knoll tells her goodnight and walks out.