The Unveiling

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What do you get when you have to recap a great episode all hopped up on cough medicine? Stay tuned and we'll find out, won't we?

We fade in on Ephram's hands playing the piano. He rocks out for a little while, and when he finishes, he turns to BGA. BGA gives him a smarmy smile and tells him, "You're off today." One line in and already with the smartassery? Okay. Ephram asks him what the problem is, and BGA says it's not his technique, but that he's not "letting himself go." He gets up and sits down to Ephram on the piano bench. A little too closely, if you ask me. He tells Ephram to try another piece. Ephram looks at it, and says, "Schubert's Impromptu No. 3, Opus 99? I don't know that one." BGA tells him that he now has only ten seconds to look at it and play it. Asshole! Ephram starts to ask why he only has ten seconds, but BGA is already counting down. Ephram doesn't even look at the music, but tells BGA that he's freaking him out. BGA finishes counting down and tells Ephram to play it. He smiles self-satisfactorily to himself, because he's insane. Ephram says he can't play it. BGA tells him to close his eyes, see the page in his mind, and play what he sees. Ephram: "Whatever you say, Obi-Wan." He closes his eyes and starts to play. It's beautiful. He knows the whole thing. The camera pans around the room, and suddenly we're in another house. Ephram is playing the piece on a grand piano. Flashback!

Ephram stops playing, and gets up to walk into another room of what is supposedly the Browns' old house in New York. He hears his parents screaming and yelling at each other in the room, and opens the door quietly to listen in. Treat yells, "What do you want from me?!" Sue Ellen Mishkie says she doesn't know anymore, but that she can't live "like this." Treat bellows, "Then leave me! Take the kids and LEAVE!" Sue Ellen says she doesn't want to, that she just wants Treat to talk to her. But it's too late. Treat is already out of there. Ephram stares at his mother sadly, and we fade back to the present. He's played the whole song. BGA is astounded. Ephram says that he was wrong, and does know this song. He closes the piano, and go to the credits.

Abbott House of Father-Daughter Bonding. Patch is in the living room, eating cookies and milk in his robe. Amy comes in with a bottle of Coke, and tells her dad that the whole point of cookies is to dunk them in milk. She takes a swig of her drink, and Patch tells her that she's drinking battery acid for her insides. Amy grins and says, "Ahhhh!" Patch asks her how she and Colin are doing. Amy gets all ga-ga and tells her dad how in love they are. Patch tells her to save it until she's thirty. No shit. I can't imagine telling my dad how in looooove I was with my boyfriend at that age. It's just icky. Amy gets the hint and tells her dad goodnight. Then she turns around and says, "Dad? When's he going to be well again?" Patch asks what she means. Amy says that she's glad he's doing better, but that she hates to see him having to go through the side effects of the surgery. Patch, taken aback, asks what side effects. Amy says, "Oh, I mean, the normal stuff. Throwing up -- not that he does it a lot, but..." Patch nods slightly, but tries to hide his concern. He tells Amy not to worry about it, that Dr. Brown and Colin's team in Denver are watching him like hawks. Amy says she feels so much better now, and that she can actually sleep. Patch looks worried.

Ephram's room. He's typing on his fancy-shmancy PowerBook. I wonder when the Everwood writers will send ME a PowerBook, as a token of their thanks and appreciation for my hard work, long hours, undying loyalty, and diligence as a fabulous and indispensable recapper of their show. What? It could happen. Treat knocks and walks in at the same time. Ephram tells his dad that knocking is pointless when he doesn't wait for a response. Treat sighs, and tells Ephram that it's okay to be in a bad mood, because he knows this week is going to be hard for him. Ephram rolls his eyes and goes back to typing. Knock him out, Treat! Instead of knocking Ephram out, which he totally should, Treat asks Ephram if he would say the Kaddish prayer at his mom's ceremony, since they screwed up saying it during the year. Ephram ignores him some more. Treat says he could find it on the internet if Ephram doesn't know it. He goes on to say that Ephram doesn't have to, but it would be nice since he's the only one in the family who can speak Hebrew. Ephram slams his computer shut and tells his dad, "I'll do it." Treat: "Great!" Ephram: "Night." He stares his dad down as Treat walks out and shuts the door.

Someone knocks on Ephram's door again. He calls impatiently, "What now?" The door opens, and there stands Sue Ellen Mishkie. Flashback two! She's holding a basket of laundry, and looks the picture of a hip mama in her cornflower blue turtleneck and trendy jeans. She says, "What's with the 'tude, dude?" Ha! Ephram apologizes, and tells his mom that he thought she was "him." She ignores that and asks him if he can handle putting his laundry away himself. He says he's got it. Such a dutiful son! My lazy-ass little brothers would have wasted no time telling my mom to handle it her own self. Sue Ellen teases that Ephram needs way more black in his wardrobe. Ephram says he'll pick out some more colorful t-shirts the day when he goes shopping with Treat. He explains that Treat's taking him suit-shopping for his recital. Sue Ellen walks over and says apologetically, "Your dad left for Boston this morning." Ephram can't believe it. Sue Ellen says that Treat must have forgotten. Ephram says that Treat promised him, and that his recital is in two weeks. Hey, look! His hair is purple again! I love it that way. More purple, please.

Sue Ellen tries to cushion the blow by offering to take him shopping herself, and says it's a blessing in disguise, because Treat is the worst shopper ever. Ephram still can't believe it, and says, "My father is the absolute worst everything." Sue Ellen says gently, "Don't." She tells Ephram that they'll have a great time shopping at Barneys, and then a fabulous lunch in the city, "where I may even let you have a sip or two of my mimosa." Cool mama! Ephram says, "Well, you know how much I like the hard stuff." Sue Ellen smiles at him, holds up her pinky, and asks, "Deal?" Ephram crosses his pinky with hers and agrees: "Deal. Thanks, Mom." Sweet scene. She leaves, shutting the door behind her, and Ephram is in his own room in Everwood again. Commercial break.

Downtown Everwood. Treat and Patch pull up at the same time, and Nina, Delia, Ephram, and Sam get out of Treat's car. They all say good morning, and Patch asks Treat what the deal is with his "Brady Bunch outing." Hee. Treat says that Nina is helping Delia buy a dress, and that he and Ephram -- at this point, Ephram stalks by with a grouchy, "Morning." -- are going to find a suit. Patch notes of Ephram, "Such a happy child." Nina and Delia run off to shop, and Treat asks Patch how he's doing. Patch says he's been really busy with everyone in town having the flu, then adds, "I understand Colin may have come down with it as well." Treat says he wasn't aware of that. Patch says that Amy mentioned that Colin hadn't been feeling well -- "something about some nausea?" He tries to be all offhand, but Treat looks concerned. He asks Patch if Colin is vomiting, and Patch says he's not sure. He asks Treat if that would be "highly irregular," and Treat says he'll look into it. Ooh, Amy's going to be MAD at you, Patch Abbott.

Suit shop. Ephram is looking through suit jackets, and Treat comes over with a few. He asks Ephram what he thinks. Ephram, not even looking at Treat or the jackets, says, "Hate 'em." Oh, man. Treat tries to be a good sport and not knock Ephram's head off, and comments that Ephram better look time, because he could have been holding something in "powder blue." Ephram doesn't think it's funny. He says he doesn't want Treat's help, anyway, and orders his dad to give him the credit card and go help Delia. Um, who's footing the bill here, Big Man? If I were you, I wouldn't be biting the hand that buys me expensive shit. Treat says he has to meet with the Harts anyway, and he'll see him at home. He leaves quickly.

Colin's House of Parental Stupidity. Colin's mom opens the door to find Treat standing there. He says he thought he'd save them another trip to his office and make a house call. Treat asks Colin how he's doing, and he says he's fine. Mommie Dearest says sarcastically that it'll be nice when they don't have to have Colin's checkups so frequently. Shut up, you. Don't you think Treat knows what he's talking about? I do. Laynie runs in and interrupts them: "Mom? I can't find my iPod." Man, Apple must be making a lot of deliveries to Everwood. What about MY iPod, people? Laynie looks really cute. She has on a red t-shirt again, and her hair looks exactly like my new haircut does -- kind of short and choppy, like I stuck my head in a lawnmower. Anyway, she realizes that she's interrupted and apologizes. Mommie Dearest tells Laynie, "Uh, I'll help you in a second, honey." THEN she looks at Laynie like she's five years old, and orders her, "GO." Laynie bites her lip and walks out sheepishly. I hate Mommie Dearest. Treat sits down with Colin and MD and asks Colin if he's been having headaches, stomachaches, anything like that. Colin says no. Treat says, "So you haven't been throwing up lately?" Colin looks at his mom, and she tells Treat that he's had the occasional bout of nausea, but that their family all have nervous stomachs. Riiiiight. Treat says he needs to know everything about Colin, in his condition. MD apologizes, and says she'll keep Treat updated from now on. Colin looks pained. Treat asks him how much vomiting he's been doing. Colin says just a few times. He thinks he might just have the flu. Riiiiight. Treat says, "Maybe." He still wants Colin to have a "fundoscopy" at his office the day. Colin rolls his eyes out of his head. MD snarks, "Looks like you didn't save us that extra trip after all, didja?" Ugh.

Downtown Everwood. Ephram runs into Amy on his sidewalk. He has his suit in his hand. Amy asks him if it's for his recital. Ephram starts to ramble, saying it's not really for that, but that he guesses he could wear it for that, but it's not, you know, for that, you know, thing, exactly, and uh... He says he's got some things on his mind. Amy says that she's waiting for Colin so they can see a movie, but he's late. She invites Ephram, but he declines. She then tries to invite herself to his recital. Ephram can't believe she'd want to come, but Amy says she can't wait to see what an awesome piano player he is. "Plus," she says, "I've never seen you in a real suit before." If she winked right here, I would not be surprised, Miss Everwood Flirt 2003. Colin approaches, and Ephram books. What is that about? I thought he and Colin were friends. Must be a lovers' quarrel. Amy asks Colin where he's been, and he says, "With Dr. Brown, my new best friend, who I have to see again tomorrow because he wants to run another freaking test on me." Ooh. Amy looks confused. Colin asks her if she blabs everything about them, or just the stuff about him being sick. Amy says she swears she didn't tell anyone, then suddenly remembers that she told her dad. She really does look crestfallen, and says, "Oh no." Colin says he's going to skip the movie, and also that he doesn't have time to worry about whether he can trust Amy right now. He stomps off. Commercials.