Previously on Everwood, my stupid TiVo cut off the previouslies. Fortunately for all of us, Sars's TiVo is smarter than mine, so she hooked me up. So, previously on Everwood, according to Sars: "Colin and Amy hung out; Amy stared at Colin with a tube in his mouth; Dr. Brown said that Colin 'came through very well'; Colin stared at Amy all 'who the hell?' and then she asked a nurse how long before he remembered her, and the nurse said he might have to 'start from scratch.'" I love it when other people do my work for me.
We open on close-up shots of pretty flowers, as Irv intones, "When you think about the flora and fauna that populate this once barren rock of ours..." Wait, wait, wait. Hold up. I don't even know what that MEANS, and this is the third second of the show. I predict that I will hate the rest of the narration, if this is how it's all going to be. And I'm right. Irv drones on some more about how plants are pretty, they're important, they're useful, blah blah. The camera pulls back, and we're in a flower shop. A cross-eyed old lady smiles and stands behind the register. Irv just called plants "God's most alluring foot-soldiers." Oh my GOD. The writers hate us. Cross-eyed old lady pins a boutonniere on a kid in formal wear. We learn that "Irma Fredonia" opened her flower shop the week after Pearl Harbor was bombed, because she said, "The world needs more beauty now." Irv tells us that nothing important ever happened in Everwood without "Irma's fragrant touch." That's kind of icky, isn't it? Uh-oh. "Until...now." Oh no, what's happened to Irma?
Well, she's either dead, or the folks at Chanel sold her some very unflattering foundation. Yep, she's dead. She's lying in her bed, and someone covers her with her top sheet. It's Treat! Treat with a sheet. That's right, you know you envy my poetic prowess. A woman, presumably Irma's daughter, thanks Treat for coming, and says she didn't want to call an ambulance just to pronounce her. Treat worries, "I wish I could have done something. I didn't even know she was sick." A man who must be Irma's son says that they didn't know Irma was sick either, that she called both of them earlier that morning to say she wasn't "feeling well." Except, it's "feeling good." Not that Irma is, or anything. They found her dead later that day. Treat says he wishes he could have known Irma better, and that she was only in his office once. His voice sounds...um, kind of sexy. I wonder if he has a cold. Treat tells Irma's children he'll call the funeral home for them if they want, and walks outside to do that for them.
Treat makes the call in Irma's back yard, which is filled with tons of flowers and plants, and...hey! A greenhouse! Crazy rasta music starts up as Treat walks in, and y'all know what's coming, don't you? The greenhouse is FULL OF POT. We're talking major kindbud, here, people. I totally can't believe I just said "kindbud." Irv says something here, but it's unimportant, because the good part is the absolutely delighted look on Treat's face as he realizes what he's discovered. Irv: "Some spirits were lifted a little higher than others." Ooh, yah, mon.
Credits. Still liking them. Shut up.
More reggae. Irma Tokesalot's body is being loaded into a hearse. Her kids look mortified, so I guess they've found out about their mom's little "hobby." Treat tells Rose Abbott, "Somewhere Jerry Garcia is weeping." Yeah, Jerry and the entire staff of High Times. I'm no expert, but this looks like some damned fine marijuana, kids. Mrs. Abbott is real dumb, because she says, "I just don't know what Irma was doing with all this marijuana!" Treat says, "Well, I can guess what she was doing with some of it." Heh.
Irma's daughter tells the police officer they've apparently had to call that it was a total shock to them. The officer asks her what he should do with the giant handful of joints he's holding. Irma's daughter says she'll get a baggie from the kitchen. I can't believe they're not even going to try it. Come on! They did it on Roseanne -- they can do it in Everwood, can't they? The officer offers to take the live plants off to burn them somewhere, but Rose Abbott, who is the mayor of this town, dammit, thinks that they should hold on to the pot until they figure out what's going on. The officer says that the Everwood Police Station's evidence room is "a box with an 'E' on it." He tells Rose to decide where to take it, and that he'll do whatever she says. Rose gets a wily look on her face, and we cut to...
The Abbott House Of Official Marijuana Storage. Patch Abbott is livid. He tells Rose that this is their home, not "Willie Nelson's dressing room." Hee. Bright looks pleased, as he should, and says that "this is totally great," as he slurps a huge bowl of cereal. Patch tells him to get out, because this is "government business." Even Bright doesn't fall for that, but he leaves anyway. Rose tells Patch to cool it, because Irma can't die with her reputation sullied. Patch says that he doesn't care if Irma Fredonia was held hostage by a Colombian drug cartel, because having a bunch of pot in their house is unacceptable. Rose looks miffed, and the officer hands Dr. Abbott the last little baggie of joints. He tells Patch not to "smoke them all in one place," and I laugh my ass off. Patch makes a remark about inappropriate humor, and the policeman leaves. I think, personally, that the officer's humor was entirely appropriate, Patch. Like, lighten up, duuuuuude.
Rose wants to stay home alone, but Patch doesn't want her alone in the house with all the pot, because he's probably scared that she'll try to blaze up a doobie. Y'all, I love that I'm getting to say all this cheesy drug lingo. Patch says that he's staying home with her today, and they walk into the living room, where Amy's just getting off the phone. She wears a look of shock -- or a mild learning disability, whichever you like -- on her face, and tells her parents that the Harts just called, and that Colin is coming home. Oh, man. Just when Ephram was getting somewhere, too.
Speaking of whom, we cut to Ephram, eating his own, and much cuter, bowl of cereal in the Brown kitchen. Treat is on the phone with someone, whom he tells that he can "be there later on today." Treat hangs up and tells Ephram that Colin's doctors say he's finished his basic rehabilitation. Ephram has on a super-cute green and dark gray jacket. He says, "So he's coming home." Treat nods, and says that he thinks it's too soon, if you ask him, which no one did, but has that ever stopped him? He says that the Harts want his "seal of approval." Ephram deadpans, "Well, make sure and tell them 'Hi' for me." Wah. Treat says that he knows it hasn't been easy for Ephram, but my boyfriend shrugs it off and says, "Oh, nah. At least they got him back alive, right?" Ephram walks out. Ephram is sad.
Nina raps on the window, and cheeses, "Freeze, I've got the place surrounded!" She lets herself in and tells Andy she heard he was "working narcotics." See, it's funny when I do the stupid drug jokes, but somehow it's not when Nina does them. Andy is astounded at the rate at which gossip travels in Everwood. Nina says that Old Lady Ganja's daughter Lily is freaking out. Treat says he would be too if his mother were "growing more weed than Cheech and Chong combined." Uh...hee?
Treat tells Nina that Delia's not ready yet, and Nina says that she actually came over to ask him about her son Sam. Nina says that Sam's pre-school wants to put him on Ritalin. No more easing into the MEOW anymore, eh? Nina says that Sam has been "acting out a lot lately." Ugh. I hate that term. "Acting out." It's not a cry for help, fools. It's being FOUR. Treat agrees with me, because he is the smartest man in the world. He tells Nina that Sam's behavior is typical of a little boy. He asks her, "Have you met my son Ephram?" Nina says that Sam's behavior has worsened in the last few months, and that the school might not invite him back. Treat thinks it's ridiculous that the school is threatening to kick Sam out if he's not medicated. Treat and me both. Nina says she's afraid the school might be right. Treat says that even if he does, the long-term effects blah blah blah blah badness. He then scares the shit out of Nina by telling her that Ritalin is classified as a Schedule II narcotic, JUST LIKE COCAINE, NINA! Andy "All Up In Everybody's Grill" Brown tells Nina that he wants to go with her to talk to the school. Nina tells him he doesn't have to -- no, seriously, he doesn't -- but he insists. I'll tell you this for free, Treat is very charming when he's being pushy.
Peak County High School. So that's the name of it. Ephram "My Boyfriend, And I Write the Recaps, So I Get First Call, Bitches" Brown watches as a crowd of people huddles around Amy, chatting. Ephram asks an anonymous guy what's going on, and he says that there's a welcome home party for Colin being planned. Ephram: "Of course there is." Anonymous Guy tells Ephram that his dad rocks, and Ephram agrees, even though what he'd really like is to rip both Anonymous Guy's AND Treat's throats out. Amy's "friend," the one who uninvited Ephram from her party, and who is also a gigantic bitch, walks by and snarks at Ephram, "Out with the new, in with the old. Nice not getting to know you." She does that little lilt at the end of her sentences that makes me want to rip her throat out. Piano Of Poignancy plays as Ephram blushes. Oh, snap! Ephram looks forlornly at Amy and walks away.
Cut to the hospital. Coma Boy's doctor is telling Treat what a remarkable recovery CB has made. He says that with the exception of slight paralysis in his right arm and some "transient aphasia," he's pretty normal. Andy looks skeptical. The doctor tells him that he performed a miracle, and Andy says he doesn't want to categorize it as such just yet.
Treat finds Coma Boy's parents, and they thank him profusely for helping their son. Treat looks over, and here comes Colin, with a sling on his arm and a stick up his ass. Um, I mean, he looks really stoned. Stupid. Sad. I'm trying to be nice, here. Treat asks Colin if he's ready to go home. Colin, who must still be under the influence of a coma, nods his head no. Yet, the word that comes out of his mouth is, "Yeah." Looks like a medical miracle to me!
Oh my God, a chubby, peroxide-blonde Corey Feldman brushing his teeth with a spin brush. What the hell is the WB thinking? The Surreal Life, indeed.
Abbott House Of Fine Young Cannabis. Mayor Rose is on the phone, saying something about the DEA. Patch Abbott is looking nervously out the window. He jerks the blinds open and looks out again. Rose asks what he's looking for. He says, "Trouble." Mayor Rose says, "With a capital T that rhymes with P and that stands for 'pot'?" Patch says that she can joke, but once word gets around, every "dope fiend and pothead within fifty miles'll come sniffin' around." Ha! I'm sure the Escalade with the gangstas inside will be showing up any minute now, Patch. Rose tells him that it's not catnip; nobody's going to be rolling around stoned in the yard. Patch interrupts her to stop Bright on his way to the kitchen. Bright says he wants a "beverage," and Patch tells him that the kitchen's closed. He says that he "may not be up on the latest rap, DOGGIE," but that he wasn't born yesterday. What in the hiz-nell does that mean, Patch, my brotha, yo? Amy walks through with her own beverage, and says, "Dad, get a grip. Pot's not supposed to make you paranoid until after you smoke it." Hee. Patch yells up the stairs, "That better be hearsay, young lady! You! HEY!" Poor Patch. No respect.
Amy is in her room writing something when Bright comes in. They mumble at each other for a little bit, then Amy says, "What are you wearing to Colin's?" They talk about how weird it is that Colin's actually coming home, and Amy says that she's meeting Colin at the park early so she can ride with him to the party. She asks Bright to help her pick out an outfit, but he just shrugs. Amy reminds Bright that Colin is his best friend. Bright says that he's worried -- not about himself, but about Amy. He tells her to chill. No shiz-nit. Amy snipes at Bright not to "ruin this for [her]." Gah. Bright says that Colin's not the same, and that he has memory loss, and some other stuff. Amy is pissed. She says she gets it. "Temporary memory loss is standard following a Stage IV coma," Dr. Abbott, Junior Miss tells her brother. Bright "whatever"s her, and she asks him what he suggests -- not celebrating the return of her boyfriend? Bright sighs. I sigh. Ephram isn't there, but he sighs too.
Still at The Abbott House Of Kooky Kannabis, Patch Abbott answers the door. Standing there are The Poster Interracial Couple Of The Year -- one very white woman and a kind of nerdy-looking black man -- who claim to be "here for the cannabis." A snippet of reggae starts up, and Patch Abbott looks uneasy.
Cut to Everwood "You Procreate, We Medicate" Pre-School. There's some confusion as the teacher welcomes Nina and Treat as "Mr. and Mrs. Feeny." They do that protesting-too-much thing I'm sure everyone's looking for, and Treat explains that he is Nina's family physician. The teacher says, "Oh, excellent, so then you've been able to explain the benefits for Sam regarding the medication." She looks a little like Lisa Loeb, except without the annoying singing. Treat says he's concerned that pre-school teachers are effectively practicing medicine. Lisa Loeb says that the school's doctor did an evaluation. Nina says she wasn't aware of an evaluation. Conveniently, the school doctor is out of town, so Treat can't speak with him. Treat asks for the results of the tests, and Lisa Loeb says that they've seen "real results managing impulsive behavior and a lack of focus." Right, because I can't think of any children, including the one who used to be sitting to me but is currently streaking through the house wearing nothing but a Hello Kitty undershirt, exhibiting a lack of focus. Lisa says that the students are calmer and less aggressive. Nina says that Sam isn't aggressive. Lisa says, "No, but he's certainly fidgety." Again. I point you to Exhibit Crazy over here. Treat says the results are marginal at best, and that medicating Sam would be pre-emptive. Lisa Loeb makes some excuses about having to deal with a bunch of highly active children every day. Treat says, "I understand that. I do." He also looks like he understands that Lisa Loeb is a tool. ["For real. If you don't want to deal with a bunch of highly active children, perhaps teaching pre-school is not the ideal career for you." -- Sars] He tells Lisa that there can be long-term side effects, and she, again, conveniently refers him to their, again, conveniently absent school doctor. Treat says that if it's clear that Sam has a treatable condition, he'll write the prescription himself. Then he threatens her with a lawsuit if she even thinks about expelling Sam.
Nina and Treat are at the car with Sam. Nina says she has to drop Sam off at "The Center" so she can go to work. Of course, Treat says he'll watch Sam. Uh huh. So we can find out that he really is a holy terror? That's what I thought. Treat says he should spend some time with Sam anyway before he talks to the school doctor. Nina hands Treat about a million pounds' worth of kid paraphernalia and speeds off. Treat says, "Ready, Sam?" but Sam is already in the car, honking the horn, screaming, "I wanna driiiive!" Good luck, Dr. Brown.
Abbott House Of Not Ever Legalizing Pot For Any Reason, Ever. Cannabis Man says that Irma started off growing just a few plants to help out her husband, who had cancer. Patch Abbott says that he was Dixon Fredonia's doctor for years, even through his cancer, and he never heard nothin' about no weed. Cannabis Man says that lots of patients don't like discussing their toking with "traditional practitioners." Patch wants to know what he's implying. Cannabis Lady says that there was nothing Patch could do for Dixon Fredonia, which is the best name ever, that he hadn't already tried. She tells them that Irma's pot was "some of the best stuff east of Humboldt County, California." Patch's eyes roll out of his head, onto the floor, and into a dime bag. Cannabis Man says that Irma's "medical services" helped a lot of patients over the years. Patch snaps, "You hand out doobies, sir." Rose giggles inwardly. He says, "We'll talk about your medical services when you've completed four arduous years of medical school, followed by a grueling residency..." Cannabis Man, of course, interrupts Patch with his bad-ass medical résumé, which shuts Patch up for about half a second. He comes back with the zinger, "It's against the law!" Cannabis Lady, who looks pretty high herself, says that cannabis is legal in Colorado with a doctor's permission. Patch launches into his "tell it to the Supreme Court" bit, and Rose says that it's Everwood's pot, so the people of Everwood will decide what to do with it. Rock on, Mayor.
Ephram. Helloooo, Ephram. He's lying on his bed reading a magazine. Treat knocks and asks if he wants to watch James and the Giant Peach. Ephram declines. Treat stands there for a little bit, and Ephram asks him why he's doing that lingering thing. Treat says he didn't want to force a conversation. Ephram smart-alecks back, and Treat leaves. Ephram, proving he really is trying, really, he is, calls his dad back in. He apologizes. Treat says he was just wondering how Amy was. Ephram says "she's the most popular girl in school again, the love of her life's back, and she's throwing a party. I'd say she's doing pretty good." Treat doesn't think a party is such a great idea. Ephram says that half the school is going. Treat says that Coma Boy's not the same kid that he was, and that Ephram might need to be there for Amy. Ephram says that he and Amy aren't really talking too much. Treat says, "When did that happen?" Ephram tells him it was when Treat was busy being clueless. Treat says, "That's my job." He waits a beat, then says, "So what happened...you two kiss or something?" Ephram looks at his dad. Treat says, "I'm not that clueless." Then he smiles the cutest smile ever smiled by a man named Treat. When my husband and I were watching this together, Master V grinned so goofily right along with Treat that I had to rewind it just to see the reaction again. Then I laughed and laughed, because this show makes you want to kill yourself with the sweetness, but you love it anyway. Pamie accused me today of "watching only Christian shows now." Shut up, you, with your Boomtown dead-baby self.
Aw, look, Ephram's opening up! He tells Treat he doesn't know what happened: one day he's kissing her, and the she's "acting like I'm Yakumo and she's Shiva the Destroyer." God, I love him. Treat blinks. Ephram: "Manga reference." Treat: "Ah." Treat tells him that he would go to the party, because Amy's going to need a friend right now. Ephram looks thoughtful, and Delia screams, "Daddy!"
Sam is busy scooping all the ashes out of the fireplace. "Like a sandbox!" he proclaims. Delia says she tried to stop him, but couldn't. Treat may be having to rethink that Ritalin thing.
A car door slams. Coma Boy is sitting on a park bench. Amy walks over; it's obviously the first time she's seen him. She offers a shy "Hi" and asks to hug him. Colin obliges and says, "I missed you too, Amy." She asks how the trip home was. He says it wasn't long, but he says it in a flat voice that means, "I wish I were still in a coma." Colin is a pretty sad boy right now. He thanks Amy awkwardly for visiting him at the hospital. She says she wanted to come more, but couldn't because of school. Aw, man. Colin sits there. He asks about Bright. Amy says he's fine. Colin looks down at his hands, then asks if "Mrs. McGee" is still teaching English. Amy says she is, then starts to tell a story about a trick they both played on her one time. Colin says he remembers, but, um, he totally doesn't. He looks down at his hands some more, and Amy asks him if he's okay. He jerks his arm away, and that's when we find out that brother has got a CHEAT SHEET in his hand It says, "Amy -- girlfriend, came to hospital a lot, Mrs. McGee's English class, Bright -- best friend since fourth grade." Ouch. Poor both of them. Colin apologizes, and Amy says, "You don't remember me at all." She looks defeated, and she should. This sucks. Colin's dad calls from the car that it's time to go, and we go to commercial.
Brown house. Treat is loading laundry and talking on the phone, and he says, "Seven. I'll be there." He yells at the kids that it's time to go see democracy in action. Sam runs in half-naked and says, "Democracy in actiooooon!" Treat tells Delia to find Sam some clothes and some narcotics, stat. Just kidding. He finds Delia lying on the couch, exhausted. She tells her dad, "That kid just wears me out. Aw, she's like a tiny mommy. Treat grins, and by God, I'm thinking he's kind of cute now. What is wrong with me?
Cut to loud cheering, a huge crowd, big "Welcome Home Colin" signs. The car bearing Colin and a sullen Amy pulls up to the party. Ephram hangs back in the crowd, watching. Amy looks super-sad and bows her head.
Town meeting. Mayor Rose and some other important people sit up front, facing the crowd. Patch Abbott stands up and says, "All right, all those in favor of burning, say 'aye,' and we can all get over to the Harts'." Lots of people say "aye." Mayor Rose says she'd like to hear arguments before voting, so sit the hell down, Abbott. Cannabis Man and Lady want to tell their side first. Patch Abbott says, "We can brush up on the propaganda when the issue of High Times arrives." I totally made a High Times joke earlier. One step ahead of you, Patch. Cannabis Lady says that the whole town knows that Irma wasn't a bad person. A random Everwood woman says that they're not reactionaries, but that it's about what kind of community they want to be. Patch and Cannabis Man argue for a while about whether pot or prescription drugs are better for pain, and Treat has to be in on it, too. He stands up and says that pot is good for alleviating pain in a controlled manner, without side effects, all while stimulating the appetite. True, true. Important man in the front says that if the pot isn't destroyed, they'd be sending a bad message to their children. Treat rocks the vote with, "We are living in a time when children are being put on Ritalin by the busload. How can we demonize one curative measure when we willingly put our kids on far more dangerous prescription drugs?" Preach it, Dr. Brown. Can I get an amen? Patch says that arguments can be made for any drug, but a line has to be drawn somewhere. He says that marijuana has become the least destructive drug "in a class of highly destructive ones," and that Irma didn't grow the pot in her front yard for a reason. Hmmm. Patch says that the right thing to do is to "draw the line." I think Patch just wants that shit all to himself.
Coma Boy's party. My closed captioning tells me that "mid-tempo rock music plays." Okay. Colin sits alone on the couch. Ephram sips a drink and looks on from behind. He's got on another cute jacket, brown this time. Some frat-boy-looking guy asks Ephram if he's talked to Colin yet. Ephram says no. Frat Boy says, "Cool, huh? Back from the dead to resume the throne of glory." Huh? Who talks like that? Ephram: "Lucky guy." Heh. Ephram shakes his head and walks outside. Who does he find there but Amy? She asks him what he's doing at the party, and he says, "Apparently attending a party uninvited." She says she just didn't think he would be there. He says he wouldn't miss the biggest party of the winter, and walks over to her with that half-smile that we all find so attractive. You do, too. Yes, even you. Ephram asks Amy why she isn't inside "being ecstatic or something? Didn't you Martha Stewart this whole thing?" Damn, I love a Martha Stewart reference. Amy tells him that it hasn't exactly gone like she'd planned. Ephram says that Colin's back, and it looks like Amy's gotten everything she ever wanted, and that she should get back inside. Amy doesn't look so sure. Spoiled. Ephram goes to leave, and Amy suddenly says, "Hey. Can I come?" They walk away, and I fix a drink and chant my new mantra. "He's only nineteen. He's only nineteen. He's only nineteen."
Back to the town meeting. Mayor Rose asks if anyone has anything else to say before they vote. Here's where a random townsman named Earl stands up and gives a very cheesy but sort of effective speech about how everyone in the town knows him and respects his family, and how he's dying of pancreatic cancer, and how he's been depending on his best friend Mary Jane for the last little while so he can spend his last days pain-free, with his family. It should all be very touching, but there's something about his speech that rings untrue. It may be the actor, or me, but I ain't buying it. He says that marijuana has kept him alive, and that he's got only a few weeks left. He says, "Pot, weed, legal, illegal -- call it what you want. To me, it's time." Okay, that was better. The meeting falls silent, and Mayor Rose calls for the vote. Sorry, Earl. Everwood votes to burn the marijuana.
Party at Coma Boy's again. Bright sits down to Colin. He says that it must be really weird for Colin, getting bombarded by so many people at once, but that everyone's really "glad you're back, dude." Bright is sort of growing on me with his big dumb self. Colin sits there. Bright rambles on about how everyone missed him. Colin says he doesn't really know what Bright is talking about. You know, with the not remembering who anyone is thing. Bright tells Colin that he doesn't know what to say that doesn't sound stupid, and that he doesn't know where to start. Colin says he knows what happened, and that he doesn't hate Bright. Bright says how sorry he is, and that he wished it was him instead of Colin. Aw. Colin says he can't forgive Bright. He can't forgive him because he can't remember. He says, "I don't remember that day. I don't remember the accident; I don't even remember you. I know you from a picture. You're Bright Abbott. You're six-two. We met in fourth grade and we've been best friends ever since. You're the brother of Amy Abbott. She's got a pretty face, brown eyes, ballet dancer, used to be annoying until we started going out one year before I slammed my head INTO A DASHBOARD." Whoa. Cool out, Coma Boy. Colin tells Bright he has a list of facts on just about everybody. Bright finally wins me over with, "So this party sucks for you." So dumb. So poignant. So Bright. Colin says he thought it would help, seeing everyone. Bright says that Colin just being alive is huge. Colin says, "That's what everyone keeps saying."
Back in the happier, less-comatose part of the world, Delia and Sam are arguing about something as Treat falls half-asleep. Sam tells Delia that his dad is way better than her dad, and that as soon as he comes home, they're going to do a bunch of stuff together, but nobody can come because it's just going to be him and his dad, and he talks like this, and like this, and they're going to go fishing, and then to the park, and he's totally rambling like little kids do, and a light bulb goes off in Treat's head, because the problem is that this kid misses his dad, and that's all, folks.
Cut to Amy and Ephram walking through downtown Everwood. Amy asks Ephram how he's been, since before the party and all. Ephram says, "You mean, since before you disappeared on me and were a crappy friend because Colin was coming home and you couldn't deal?" Yeah, Amy. Since then? Amy: "Yeah. Since then." Ephram says he's been all right, and tells her that he found a few new people to have lunch with, including a non-English speaking exchange student named Norbert from Germany. Or Prague. Amy smiles. I smile. I buy the world a Coke, and keep it company. Ephram asks Amy what happened at the party. She says that everyone told her that it would be hard seeing Colin, but that she didn't know it would be this hard. She says it's like he really did die in the accident. She says she can remember what he wore on their first date, and he doesn't even know who she is. Now, as much as I want to hate on Colin and Amy, that's pretty sad. Amy says she built her whole life on their memories, and Colin can't even remember her name. She starts to cry. Ephram tells her that his dad says it just takes a while. He tells her that she has to stick it out. Amy wants to know how long she should do that, and when she should just give up. Ephram says, "You don't. That's what devotion is, Amy." He tells her that she couldn't give up on Colin if she wanted to, because since the first day he met her she's been loyal to Colin, and when you're loyal to someone, you can't help it. Amy asks Ephram how he got so smart. He says, "I'm not, believe me. If I was, I'd be wearing a warmer jacket right now. And I wouldn't be telling you to go back to your boyfriend." God, how sweet is he? Sweet right down to his britches. And we're just going to pretend that "warmer jacket" is a shout-out, shall we?
Amy starts to say something, and Ephram says he wishes it were different; he wishes he were there first, but he wasn't, and that Colin needs her help to get better. Amy says that she should probably get back to the party. She asks him if he wants to come with her. Ephram declines, and she watches him walk away, like the damn man that he is.
Back from commercial, Nina arrives to pick up Sam. He's asleep on the couch, and she asks Treat how he was. Treat says, "I'd love to say he was a little angel, but there are too many witnesses." Nina groans. This part is kind of boring. The point is, Sam was kind of bad, and Treat has made the diagnosis that we all knew he would: Sam is a handful, but his main problem is that he misses his dad. Treat tells a story about when Ephram was little -- he used to take Ephram to play pinball every weekend, and it was Ephram's favorite thing to do. Until Treat started his practice, and began to miss their Saturday pinball outings. He tells Nina that after a while, he felt so bad that he bought Ephram his own pinball machine, but that Ephram didn't want to play it then; he said he didn't like pinball anymore. Treat says that sometime in between the arcade and the playroom, he lost Ephram, and it wasn't because he needed medication. He needed his dad. Treat does offer, "And...keep him away from sugar."
Amy knocks on the Harts' door. Colin's mom answers, and tells her that her little Coma Boy is very tired. Amy insists that she needs to see him just for a minute. Mrs. Hart reluctantly lets her in. Colin's watching football. He turns it off, and Amy sits down. Colin immediately apologizes. Amy says it's okay. She says, "You don't have to fake it anymore. I know you don't remember me." Colin says that he tried, and that he wanted to remember. Amy says she thinks he'll like her if he gets to know her, again. She reaches out her hand and says, "Hi. I'm Amy." Coma Boy, who I'm liking in spite of myself, says, "I'm Colin." It's very sweet, and it has not yet been confirmed whether your recapper shed a little tear. Shut it.
Cut to Patch Abbott, knocking on someone's door. It turns out to be Earl's house. Patch tells Earl that he came to apologize for failing him as a physician. Earl says that Patch has been a good doctor, and that it's all right. Patch says it's not all right, and he's not so sure that he didn't fail Earl again "last night." He hands Earl a prescription bottle, and tells him that it's a new and very powerful drug for his pain. Oh, come on. Y'all know what it is. Patch Abbott leaves, Earl opens the canister, and he'll be damned, it's a big old can of joints. That Patch -- what a softie, spreading the love of the ganja all around.
The Brown Family, Nina, and Sam are in the arcade. Ephram asks Treat to remind him how he got roped into this. Treat says it's because Nina wanted to take Sam, and Delia "made big eyes." Who could refuse that? Not me. Treat asks Ephram if he wants to play something. Ephram says, "That's all right. I'm working up to a corn dog." Treat laughs a little, and asks Ephram, "Did you hear that Everwood is now officially dope-free?" Ephram says, "Bright moved?" Heh. Treat then asks Ephram how the party went. Ephram says it was weird, and that the "Amy situation is fantastic. I'm a very important friend." Treat comes back with, "Well, it's like Freud said: Women, schmomen. Except he said it in German, which was: Veemen, schmeemen." Ephram laughs harder than he has all season.
Treat has very handily walked them over to the pinball machine. He asks Ephram if he wants to play. Ephram says that pinball wasn't ever really his game. Treat says, "If you're scared, I understand." Ephram: "I'm sorry, did you just say something...old man?" Treat: "You must have heard one too many stories about your father's miraculous hands." Ephram: "Hey, as long as you think you can play with that skirt on." As good and dramatic as feuding Treat and Ephram are, it's nice to see them having a good time together, finally.
Treat and Ephram start to play pinball. Irv starts up: "Even in small towns, things change. People die; people forget. Frivolous pursuits become cause for alarm. Fortunately, some things do stay the same -- like the scent of jasmine that still lingers outside of Irma's Flower Mart, or the vermilion tones of the jewel orchids she once sold me, or the thrill of beating the high score on an old pinball machine." I'm going to let this one go, Irv, because it was all right, but lay off on the scent of jasmine, will you? It's making my eyes roll back in my head, and I'm trying to keep them on my boyfriend.